Shownotes
This week, we're talking about selling worn items with a wonderful human being and fan of the show, Calla Miia. She tells about her experience getting into the industry, what she's learned, and what it's like. She shares about how sex work allowed her to explore her sexual identity and get to know herself better. We also talk about the importance of mental health and, probably most importantly, puppies.
Calla Miia's Links:
PantyDeal: pantydeal.com/member/callamiia
Things We Talk About:
SW Rolodex (website where Sex Workers can find and hire freelancers for various projects)
ANSWER-Detroit Links:
Website: www.answerdetroit.org
Grant-Matching Fundraiser: https://www.gofundme.com/f/giving-season-grantmatching-fundraiser?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer
Twitter: @answerdetroit
Instagram: @weareanswerdetroit
Podcast Links:
Website: parkerwestwood.com/podcast
Patreon: patreon.com/SexyGalaxyPod
Twitter: @SexyGalaxyPod
Transcripts
Parker
Welcome to a sex workers Guide to the Galaxy, where the answer to life the universe and everything is sex workers. I'm your host, Parker Westwood. And today I'm bringing you an interview with Calla Mia, who actually reached out to me as a fan of the show and pitched an idea that I loved, and we hadn't talked about on the show yet. In this episode, we're talking about the industry of worn items, like selling panties online, or used diva cups, really honestly, like you name it someone I'm sure has used it and sold it on the internet. And it's fascinating and I know very little about it so I was excited to talk to someone in the industry and get to know a little bit about how it works and what it's like in motion. This is a great episode, not only do we talk about the sale of worn items, but we talk about how Calla's experience in sex work has allowed her to explore their identity, both sexually, and gender identity, and just kind of come into themselves. It's a really beautiful conversation. In that we also talk about mental health so this is a little bit of a trigger warning, eating disorders and things are mentioned but we don't talk about them in detail. We also talk about puppies, because how could any conversation be complete without talking about one's animals? Maybe that's just me, but I think it's wildly important. Yeah, so I hope you enjoy the episode. Before we get there though, I just want to say a big thank you to those who are supporting on Patreon. If you also want to give a little this giving season and support with a recurring membership on Patreon, you can go to patreon.com/sexy Galaxy pod and support us there. There's multiple tiers for you to choose from, if you follow us on Patreon, 50% of those proceeds will go to the work of ANSWER Detroit, a network of sex workers to excite revolution, we actually got our first very first grant, and we're very excited about it and are running a grant matching campaign. So, if you also just want to donate directly to ANSWER, I'll put a link for that in the show notes so you can support our fundraiser trying to match the grant we just got, thank you in advance. That's really cool. Also, if you know someone who may want to contribute, just send that link right off to them. But if that's not for you consider using those wonderful words of yours and giving the podcast a glowing review on whatever platform you listen to, it does help this podcast reach the ears of more people and it would be greatly appreciated, and I love reading them. Props, props will go out to whoever uses the most creative adjective, there's a challenge for you. And then you can also follow us on Twitter at sexy Galaxy pod, you can also follow me on Instagram I post about the podcast every time new things are dropped,that's at Parker dot Westwood on Instagram. So not only is this podcast supported by lovely Patreon members and listeners like yourself, but it's also supported by Companion Tax. If you're a sex worker, and you'd really rather not do your own taxes, Companion Tax is the way to go, they will explain everything they do. I've really appreciated all of their hard work, and it has been well worth the money spent. So, check them out at companion tax dot com. And now that we've gotten all of those things covered and out of the way. Let's get into the interview with Calla Mia. Oh, and before we jump in, I should also warn you that the audio quality is not as great as it usually is for the show. My internet hasn't been connected in two months, but it finally got connected today so it gets a little choppy. And I think there was something up with Calla's mic as well. So, if you can just have patience with the whole audio situation this time, that would be lovely. And it's a fantastic interview so enjoy it. Alright, now let's actually jump in. So, I'm here with Calla Mia, who's a fan of the show and reached out and I'm so glad you did. Thank you for being here.
Calla Mia
Thank you for having me.
Parker
Oh, of course. Why don't you take a moment to introduce yourself, your name, your pronouns, where you're located, and then we'll get in, we'll get into the good stuff.
Calla Mia
Alright, absolutely. Hi, everyone my name is Calla Mia and I'm based in the United States, and my pronouns are she and her.
Parker
Awesome, welcome. And then would you also tell everyone, what kind of sex work you do or have done in the past?
Calla Mia
Sure. So currently, I sell worn items, and I also create digital content.
Parker
Awesome. I, when you reached out, I was so excited because this is something, this is a world that I know very little about, like the selling of worn items, and I was really excited to kind of get that side of sex work on, on the podcast, because it's important, and it's a lot larger than I think people think it is.
Calla Mia
Yeah, yeah, there are a lot of people doing it out there but until I found it that I had no idea.
Parker
Yeah. Would you mind giving us like a short intro into the world of selling worn items? Like, how does it work? What exactly do people sell whatever you feel like sharing?
Calla Mia
Absolutely. So, selling worn items is exactly what it sounds like. So, any item that you could wear, so it could be clothing, the most popular item to sell would be panties for commonly understood reasons, but it could also be things like socks, sweaty athletic clothes, sometimes even bodily fluids. And outside of that realm, there are things that you might use, but not necessarily wear. So, I know of some people who might sell trash from their bathroom, for example, or even just silly things from around their home because it's theirs. And for that reason, if they have someone who's particularly intrigued by them, they might be willing to purchase an obscure item, if it means that it had belonged to that person.
Parker
Excellent. And how did you get started? How did you find it and then get interested enough to get started in selling worn items?
Calla Mia
So, I've actually been really interested in sex work for quite some time, and I was primarily interested in stripping actually, so I wanted to dance. But based on my day job schedule, I just didn't think that I could pull it off and so when I heard kind of some rumblings about this world of online sex work, where you could dip your toes in, remain anonymous, I thought, you know, it might be worth a shot. It might help me to kind of scratch that itch a little bit without having to I guess, compromise my sanity, my sleep, etc.
Parker
Yeah, absolutely. When we spoke on the phone before, like coming up with the concept of the episode a little bit, you'd said something about sex work allowing you to explore your identity. Will you speak to that a little bit, you're kind of alluding to it here with like the scratching the itch thing? And I'd like to hear your thoughts on that.
Calla Mia
Yes. So, I would describe myself as someone who was raised in a very religious and conservative household. And so, for the longest time, up until a couple of years ago, really, I didn't see a future for myself, that was anything other than being straight married with a white picket fence, the dog, so on, so forth. And a couple years ago, I had a really funny conversation with my partner at the time and I had said to him, you know, don't you ever just imagine if you close your eyes, I mean, would it make a difference to you if you close your eyes and then open them and that person was, you know, identified the same way as you? So, in my case, if I opened my eyes and I saw a woman he was like, yeah, that would really bother me. And I was like, oh, wait a minute and so I kind of had this realization of, you know, maybe that is what has been affecting my mental health to a particular amount because that's something I've also struggled with. And so over the past couple of years, I've been working to piece that out, and by doing sex work online and selling worn items, I've been able to play with this idea of sexuality, what it means to be masculine, feminine, straight, queer, really you are who you portray yourself to be. And I think that's very fun and exciting when I'm not necessarily looking to do the same in my, quote unquote, regular life.
Parker
Yeah, I think that's so exciting. And I resonate with that idea, that sex work is a lot of like how we brand ourselves, how we portray ourselves, and when you're working online, you can, you can explore arenas that like, you may not be able to explore otherwise, and you know, everything. Everything is a performance; gender is a performance, sexuality is, is so much fun to explore. If you don't mind me asking, what are, is there something that you've discovered about yourself that you weren't expecting to find?
Calla Mia
Yes. So, at first, I thought, you know, maybe I'm bisexual and then I realized, you know, maybe queer is a better word, because I started looking at the world differently around me. So, I think that was a big part of it, realizing I'm attracted to a lot of different people that I didn't expect myself to be and just based on traditionally, and how I was raised with those particular household values. And beyond that, I'd say doing sex work has also made me realize I'm a bit kinkier than I thought I was as well, because you come across all types of different things and so, I think when I finally did, what is it the BDSM test?
Parker
Mmhmm.
Calla Mia
Is that what it's called? I remember looking at the results and thinking, very interesting that I never would have done it I don't think had I not gotten into sex work. I just wouldn't have known it existed, frankly.
Parker
Yeah, absolutely, it certainly opens your mind to certain things like I, especially with my like fetish and BDSM clients. They'll come to me with something that I've like, never even considered as something that would turn me on and then we end up playing and I'm just like, oh, no this is actually kind of hot. And it's just like, it's not something I ever considered before and I love, I love surprising myself, so I'm glad to hear that's your experience as well. Um, how, how do you think sex work helps you to become more comfortable in your queer identity? Was it just the like, opening your mind up to it to be able to lean in? Or was it also like sexual exploration? Do you have any thoughts on that?
Calla Mia
I think, because in my experience, and I know I've had a very privileged experience for someone who's doing sex work, I've been able to find a really diverse supportive community. And so, I know that isn't necessarily always the case for everyone, depending on the type of sex work that you do. But I've been able to find a group of sellers who really thrive in all of their identities, whether their sexual identities, or they're a mom, or they're a dom, or they're living in a polyamorous relationship, just people from all different walks of life, and I think being in a community that was at least 100 times more diverse than any in person, community, I've been a part of, really made me understand that, in a sense, my sexual identity wasn't, I don't want to say that unique to me, but there's something about understanding finally, how common it is to not be straight that I thought it was, you know, this huge mountain to overcome, in a sense, and now it's like, wow, we're everywhere. Right? So, it was very, really a great experience in that sense.
Parker
Oh, that's so cool, I love that. Um. I was curious too, I imagine especially selling worn items online, you have to kind of intensively brand yourself because that's like part of the thing, people get attached to you and that's why they want your items. Did you find it difficult as you were like, sort of coming into yourself and watching yourself change a little bit to hone in on a brand or did that kind of happen organically for you?
Calla Mia
In a lot of ways, I think who I branded myself as is the person who I want to be in my everyday life.
Parker
Cool.
Calla Mia
And so, by becoming that person online, there are certain things that I now feel more comfortable doing in person. And so even though I might not be dancing or stripping, like I imagined before, I have taken some pole classes, which is something that I really would have shied away from before, and I've had a blast doing it. So that's one silly example. But yeah.
Parker
That's cool. I think that's a really, whether you did that consciously or not, I think that, that's a really brilliant way to brand because there's a little bit of aspiration in there. As long as it's not like too far of a stretch and too hard to maintain.
Calla Mia
Right.
Parker
But it leaves room for growth. And I love that you were able to, yeah, able to leave room for that and like, see who you wanted to become.
Calla Mia
Absolutely.
Parker
Last time we spoke on the phone when we were planning this episode, you, I wrote down a quote from that you had said, and I just wanted you to kind of expand on it, and maybe hear it back and like, reflect on these words. But you said, “my life was living me versus me living my life.”
Calla Mia
It's so funny, or not funny, but hearing it back is just really, I guess, powerful for me. Because seeing where I feel now, it's definitely the latter, I feel that I'm living my life but previously, I think I was so weighed down by a variety of things in my life, whether it was my sexuality, mental health challenges, work, relationships, whether or not I was fulfilled in everything that I was doing, that I was letting my life kind of happen versus actively working to change the parts of it that I didn't love. So, whether that meant staying in a particular job or role because it was a well-paying job, even though I absolutely despised it, it meant something that I've always wanted, and we might touch on later is I've always wanted a puppy and I kept pushing it off and pushing it off and I grew up with dogs. So that sense of fulfillment was something that I was really lacking, I felt very lonely. So, I think being able to, in a way, oddly enough, through sex work kind of become that person who goes out there and gets what they want, or at least makes that attempt to manifest, if you will, the life that would make them happy. I was able to begin living my life instead of letting it live me.
Parker
I love that. I think too, that there's like these narratives that we're fed, like from family, society, about like, what we should aspire to, and what we should want out of life. There's a sense of security in that. But it's almost an illusion of security and an illusion of happiness. And for us to, to recognize that and pursue something else, and allow sex work, for me sex work gave me a little bit of financial security to feel like I could reach for something different and it sounds like it's done the same, the same for you. You did mention a little bit the that you had some struggles with mental health. Would you mind like kind of exploring that and maybe touching on how sex work relates to that journey with mental health?
Calla Mia
Sure, I would say that my struggles with mental health began when I was really young. So, I didn't necessarily have the happy go lucky childhood that most parents would hope for their children. I think due to a lot of family circumstances, that's just not what I was able to experience, and as a result of that, as well as genetics, I struggled on and off with anxiety, depression. And I'm sure a lot of your listeners might resonate with this, but when you have anxiety or depression, a lot of times it can manifest itself in other bad behaviors, or other, I'm trying to think of the right word here, but other unhealthy outlets. So maybe a bit of a trigger warning here, but whether it was disordered eating, or self-harm, I kind of went through the list of it, I did a little bit of everything because I wasn't ever treating that underlying or root cause, and it doesn't all stem back to my childhood. But I had never put in the work with a professional, I want to make sure I really point that out, so I never fully invested myself in that professional help. So, I'm very fortunate that I was able to access it and after about a year or so of working with this individual, she very bluntly said to me, you know, we've been working together for about a year, and I feel that, you know, in a lot of ways, you're in the same place where you were before, is medication something that you'd ever consider. And it was really disheartening, because I saw myself, you know, showing up to all of these sessions baring my soul to a certain extent and she just had this gut feeling that for me, it really was something that I couldn't overcome on my own. And so, about a year ago, I started on anti-anxiety medication, and everything in my life completely changed. For me, that was the, the, I don't know, answer to everything I had been hoping for. And I had been so cautious before, but I think I would encourage anyone who you know, has access to professional help, or someone who's questioning if it could be right for them, that you shouldn't let yourself get to the place where I was, where you exhaust every option and think you have to do it all by yourself. I think you're worth investing in and even if it's a little bit scary, you can always go back. So.
Parker
Absolutely, there is still such stigma around taking medication for mental health. And I think, well, I just think it's bullshit. Like, it's so important to take care of our mental health because it does affect everything. So, I love that your doctor was just like, so willing to approach that. Our mental health is so important and so key, it affects everything, everything we do, and how we approach it and I think there's such an emphasis on like, get your physical health in order, and it'll affect your mental health. But it's like, we don't really hear the other way around that often, and some of us need a little chemical help.
Calla Mia
Yeah.
Parker
We need a little boost to get us back on track and that's not shameful. So, I'm glad that you're bringing that, that bringing that up, do you think, because there's stigma around like taking medication for mental health, do you think that that finally taking medication for your mental health kind of made you question the stigma around sex work? Did you, did the med- did taking medication come before you got into sex work?
Calla Mia
It happened about just before, but I would say I started feeling the positive effects of the medication around the same time, I decided to make the leap into sex work. So, it just helped me to get to the point where I felt like I could do it and I think in general, on a wider scale, it helps me to feel like a lot of these rules we have in society are in fact bullshit and don't really matter and that's been really freeing as well.
Parker
Yeah. Um, speaking of rules, you had worked like a corporate nine to five for, for a while? Um, do you want to talk about like, the difference between what you're currently doing with sex work and like that corporate job? Like, what, if you miss anything? I'd love to hear. But what you don't miss, what's great about sex work? Some parallels, I'm happy to hear about all of it.
Calla Mia
Yeah. So, the easiest thing for me to say is what I missed right off the bat is the steady income and the paycheck I could count on every two weeks. I knew how much it would be for what to expect. That would have been really nice to have within sex work to know okay, this Friday, I'm going to get this amount. The interesting thing about sex work is there isn't a direct correlation between the number of hours you work and how much you earn, at least in my experience, you can go down a rabbit hole and find you know, the, the gold at the end of the rainbow, or whatever analogy you want to use there, or you can find a whole lot of nothing. So, I'd say the financial security is one thing I miss. But something I don't miss is the office politics, I guess I would say, the ability to be your own boss and to determine when you want to do the next big step is pretty amazing. You don't have to wait for a performance review, or for someone to say you're good enough, here's a promotion, you can say to yourself, you know, I love what I'm doing with worn items, I'd really like to start digital content. Or you might say I love working on panty deal, which is one of the most popular worn item platforms, and say, I really love this. But I think I want to give OnlyFans a shot you get to choose when you get to make that next big leap and how, and I definitely think that's resulted in a much more fulfilling experience for me.
Parker
Yeah. The, the control is fantastic, like being able to designate when you're going to work, and like if you have to take a day off, you have to take a day off, and if you want to work all day long, you can work all day long, it's up to your energy level and schedule. And like I do, I do agree with you the frustrating part is like not necessarily being able to count on a paycheck.
Calla Mia
Yeah. I think this wasn't part of the question, but I think the weirdest thing, or most unique thing about starting to do sex work is just the different ways in which people would start talking to me, primarily, the buyers is what, what we usually call them on our platforms, if a buyer reaches out to you for a particular worn item, a lot of them are very respectful, but some of them are very upfront, and they will say exactly what they're looking for and they won't skip a beat, which sometimes can really throw you off. You know, if you're not too familiar with what they're asking for. Or, for example, I got the message the other day, and you know, will you go to the bathroom in a piece of Tupperware and mail it to me like that was the first message No, hi, hello, how are you doing, it was just like, can you do this, like, hello.
Parker
There, there is indeed a human on the other end of this.
Calla Mia
Yeah, yes. I'm glad you're confident, you know what you like, but oh my goodness, a greeting, at least please.
Parker
Yeah, this is the, this is key, not just a greeting and also, not just a demand or like ask for what you want. Yes.
Calla Mia
Yes. And a fair payment would be great as well.
Parker
Yeah, always a fair payment. So did you, I'm trying to think of a timeline here, like, did you leave your, I guess, have you fully left vanilla work where you are, do you also have a vanilla job? And for those who have no idea what I'm talking about vanilla job is like not sex work related employment.
Calla Mia
I do still have a vanilla job but what I do day to day is very different from what I was doing before. Same role, if you will, but a completely different environment and that's made a huge difference. I think, also the pandemic has allowed me to work remotely full time, which has also made a world of a difference. Simply not going into an office for the sake of going into an office has been mind blowing. I've been, I wish I could say more productive at home but, you know, I think it's just much more satisfying to be at home. Especially.
Parker
Yeah, saves gas, definitely.
Calla Mia
Yeah, yeah.
Parker
Yeah, I love that for you. That's so great. It's I had been wondering if some offices were going to go back to the office or if they were going to decide that to let people work at home. So, I'm glad that's working for you.
Calla Mia
Yeah. It really is a company to company type of thing, but I'm fortunate that mine is very, I guess, health conscious and they're not totally convinced that we're out of this yet. Neither am I, so I'd rather play it safe, though.
Parker
Absolutely. I do appreciate too like, I'm glad you're happier in your job because I think one of the things that I've noticed sex work allows for, is that we feel freed up to be able to take jobs that may pay less but that we'll enjoy more because we have another revenue stream which is just awesome.
Calla Mia
Yes. And since starting sex work I've also I seen myself get into other side hustles, if you want to call them that, they're more like small businesses. I think the word hustle and hustle culture has a lot of things wrong with it.
Parker
Yeah, we got to sleep sometimes people okay.
Calla Mia
Yeah, exactly. But ever since I started doing sex work, I also started doing pet sitting boarding daycare, because dogs and pets in general are just something that really makes me happy. So now I have, I was telling you earlier today, I had three dogs in my apartment, which is not a very large apartment but it was basically the best thing ever, because I was able to do my vanilla job, my sex work job, and then also get paid to watch all three of the little demons running around my apartment.
Parker
Oh, that's so great. Yeah, tell us, so you alluded to the fact that like in before in the before times, you felt like you couldn't get a puppy. So, I personally really would like to hear about when did you get your puppy? What was that like? Tell us a little bit about that.
Calla Mia
So thanks to kind of the pandemic in a sense and a change in my job role, I was able to be working remotely full time. So, on a whim one night, after maybe a couple glasses of wine I registered on my local animal rescue fostering website
Parker
This a horrible idea, I love it.
Calla Mia
I know, and I just told my partner, I just looked over and said, hey, I think I just did a thing and so that weekend, we picked up our first puppy. And.
Parker
Oh, first puppy.
Calla Mia
I had, yeah, yeah. Well, I, to be fair, I've only foster failed or had a foster success, if you want to call it that, one time. But I fostered five puppies before finding my one and only my foster success puppy. So, she's over there on the couch, sleeping after having a very long day of running around with her friends. But there was just something about her, it's hard to describe but if you're an animal lover listening, you'll probably know you just look at them and you just have this feeling like this one can't go anywhere. So, whether you're you know, walking through the shelter, or it's a dog you're fostering, you just kind of know like, I don't want anyone else to have this one. They can't have it, it's mine. That's what happened for me.
Parker
Oh, that's so sweet. I love that. How long have you had her now?
Calla Mia
So, she is almost a year old, which is crazy. I've had her since she was about a month and a half, that's when she came to the rescue. And for me, I wasn't even supposed to be fostering that time in particular nut they told me they needed more fosters and they promised me I would get, quote really cute tiny ones, if I did. And like a total sucker I said, oh my gosh, yeah, give me a couple. And then before I knew it, I had her in my arms, I was like, she can't go anywhere.
Parker
Oh, I love that. That's so good. And I love that you get to work with animals, like you're like freed up to be able to follow one of your passions. That's so great.
Calla Mia
Yes, definitely. I think it's also been great to have a, an ability to support a cause that's really important to me. So, animal rescues in general are something that I'm really passionate about so being able to volunteer firsthand and to kind of have a natural affinity towards it was a lot of fun and I think more meaningful maybe then you know sometimes you'll see a financial contribution ask in your inbox or on Facebook and no it's good to like do that too. But for me all of a sudden once you're holding these little ones in your arms and you hear their back stories it's something totally different, so it's been super rewarding for me and now I get to steal my neighbor's puppies when they're too tired of them and then I get to have more my own temporarily [garbled].
Parker
Yes, that's so great. Um, I agree to on the volunteering tip that like giving money is important because like all these orgs need money. Right? But there's one thing my, my family used to do for Christmas or the holiday season we would do Secret Santa but we all, we had a money limit at one point, and it just meant that everyone was getting everybody junk. And I was like, this is bullshit. So, we decided to either volunteer or donate to an org in this person's name and then we had to explain why. And that was always, and I always opted to volunteer because I was like, you just have a more, more of a connection to the cause, or in this case like the animals and it just feels really really good.
Calla Mia
Yeah, I love that. That's such a good idea. I think my family has definitely reached that stage as well, doing a white elephant where every year it’s the same gift like, oh, look, another serving platter. Like, and I ended up with it last year, I'm like, what am I doing? Nothing, nothing is happening with this, I donated it.
Parker
Yeah, 100 percent. Like, it just gets donated anyway, yes. So, so good. Um. I also quick wanted to go back, because there was a question, I forgot to ask you about, like selling worn items? What platforms are used in like, the selling of worn items and digital content, or at least what ones are you familiar with?
Calla Mia
So, I think there are both overt and covert ways of selling worn items. And by that, I mean, there are some platforms that are specifically designated for worn items. Some of the top ones you might hear of would be panty deal, scented pansy, sll things worn and there, you can Google it, and they'll come up. Yeah. Now I'd say kind of covertly, you can also use some common social media platforms, Reddit is definitely the largest. A lot of folks will use OnlyFans and sell through that way, and you can try Twitter, Instagram, those ways are much more difficult because of the censorship, of sex work. So those aren't ones that I'd necessarily recommend, but people who exist on multiple platforms do still have success there if they have a following, but you have to be pretty big to really make that work for you.
Parker
Absolutely. And oftentimes, people do have multiple platforms, because as we've learned with OnlyFans, we can get shut down and shut out of our clientele pretty easily if we invest in only one.
Calla Mia
Yeah. What a nightmare that was to put it lightly.
Parker
It continues to be a nightmare.
Calla Mia
Yeah, yeah.
Parker
Hopefully, we get these payment platforms to stop discriminating against sex workers, I think that's like a continued fight.
Calla Mia
Oh, absolutely. And that's a big problem for worn items sales as well, because there are only so many payment methods that are available. And internationally, it's only probably amazon gift cards and PayPal. And PayPal is so horrific when it comes to sex work that I know people who have lost hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, when PayPal detected what they deemed suspicious activity. And it's not suspicious activity, it's work, it's income that they rightly earned, and they never get it back. Of course.
Parker
PayPal is known for being very anti sex work. And, and it's there have been reports all over of people having their money held up forever,like they, if they keep it in Paypal, and I think Venmo and CashApp as well. That's, that can happen, though those two platforms tend to be favored for payments sometimes, but they're also increasingly cracking down on, quote unquote, suspicious activity.
Calla Mia
Yes.
Parker
No, I'm glad we touched on that, though, is, are there other hurdles? Or like, just like weird, weird things that you've come up against that you like, didn't realize you'd have to like, either jump through these certain hoops, or? Yeah, just like, what are the words I'm looking for, words are not my forte today. Like kind of wild. But yeah,
Calla Mia
I know what you're asking.
Parker
Any you're sort of like a brick wall that you've run into that you weren't expecting to.
Calla Mia
I think that it's a very taboo industry, like all a sex work. And so, there are things you just don't know that you don't know. And for me, I was completely lost at first until I found a mentor, and there are several mentors within the worn items community, there are some even that have their own podcast as well. But one person who also has a website is the panty selling school.com, her name is Velma Rosa. She's phenomenal and she sells training courses to help folks get started who think they might be interested, because the number one reason why folks don't find success in selling worn items is because they give up too soon. I think she says the turnover rate that she knows of is, over you know, 90% within 90 days, that's probably a little bit off. She could say more about it. But for me having a guide that I could follow qnd so being able to have that community to ask your questions about is this price too high the answers, usually no, absolutely not that's what you're worth. Or think about how should I design this ad? Where should I buy the specific products to sell literally anything and everything. We even talk about folks on certain platforms buyers who have asks that are absolutely unacceptable things that really no one should be asking for. So that way we can help each other to stay safe and watch out for those individuals.
Parker
Yeah, oh, community. It's so key like, and literally, I just want anyone out there thinking about it, exploring, whatever, just got into it, just make sure you find community. I think that's, that is so key and I love that you found that. I'll be linking that person's website in the show notes for sure.
Calla Mia
Okay, perfect.
Parker
It's so, it's so important. And we, we protect us because the obviously the law enforcement structures don't and like sex workers protect sex workers. That's, that's the world we live in currently.
Calla Mia
Yes, yeah.
Parker
Um, now that I've gotten on that soapbox I’ll step down. Um. Do you, is there anything that you want the greater public to understand about sex work or sex workers? Yeah, is there anything you'd like the greater public to understand?
Calla Mia
I think I'd like for the greater public to understand, of course, that sex work is work. That's a very basic one. But in addition to that, there are more sex workers around you that you may never have guessed or may never have even considered. In particular, with the selling of worn items, that's almost 100% of the time, 90+% of the time is done online, and do it anonymously and so when you're thinking about the people, you surround yourself with, the words you choose, the decisions that you make, it could be very likely that your best friend might be doing this on the side, and you might not even know about it. And so, I think there's this stigma against it but in reality, it's something that's growing in popularity, and not because everyone's wanting to make a quick buck, per se, but because it is work, and it's a way of making money that can be really fulfilling or can simply pay the bills, depending on how you look at it.
Parker
Yeah, just like any other job.
Calla Mia
Yes.
Parker
Yeah, it's important.
Calla Mia
There's not one type of person that does sex work. It could be a mom who lives down the road from you, it could be your great aunt, it could be your, I don't know your high school football captain. You never know, it could literally be anyone. I think that's something that's also really exciting about selling worn items, because you find a lot of different types of people who for their own reasons will draw people in like, oh, a firefighter. Okay. Are you really like that?
Parker
Yes. Get it firemen. Um, cool. Are you ready for some rapid-fire questions?
Calla Mia
Let's do it.
Parker
Let's do it. Okay, pancakes or waffles?
Calla Mia
Neither. I hate sweet foods, potatoes, savory, for breakfast.
Parker
Okay. hashbrowns we're going we're going with hashbrowns.
Calla Mia
Oh, yeah.
Parker
Yeah. Salty or sweet?
Calla Mia
Salty.
Parker
Boy Shorts or bikini cut?
Calla Mia
Boy Shorts.
Parker
What is your favorite place you've ever been?
Calla Mia
Southeast Asia by far.
Parker
Oh, excellent. Um, a book from your mandatory reading list?
Calla Mia
So tough because I'm a really avid reader. If you like psychological thrillers Gone Girl-esque, I encourage you to continue to read Gillian Flynn. She's like one of my favorites and some of her lesser-known novels are incredible and there are some that have been made into limited series as well. So, you can binge the book and then binge the series, which I highly recommend.
Parker
Ooh, excellent. A song, an album, or a musical artists that you've been obsessed with lately.
Calla Mia
Lady Gaga all the way. I love her.
Parker
Any, any particular song as of late?
Calla Mia
Not song as of late, but I'm dying to see her performance in House of Gucci. That's my more recent obsession because I loved her in oh my gosh, why am I forgetting the name of it? The only other film she was in and did phenomenally in.
Parker
I'm also forgetting the name of it but yes.
Calla Mia
Yeah, people are gonna be listening and say how can you not remember? So sad when everybody knows what it is.
Parker
Yeah, and sometimes brain farts happen leave us alone. What is,
Calla Mia
A Star is Born.
Parker
Ah, there it is, that one
Calla Mia
Yeah, finally.
Parker
Of course. There it is. What is your secret talent?
Calla Mia
So, I can pop my ears without touching them. So, like if you're ever on a plane, and you have like pressure in your ears, like, I never get that because I can, like move like the inner part of my ear to do it.
Parker
I'm so jealous. That gets so painful when you pop them.
Calla Mia
So, I really enjoy long flights. I think my record is like an 18 and a half hour flight and I had the best time of my life. I feel like I think the best on flights and I think because I don't have ear pain or pressure, that's the key.
Parker
That's amazing. So cool. Um, finish this sentence, good sex is
Calla Mia
That's a tough one. Why am I having such a hard time thinking about it? Good sex is, I can't think of the right word, Uninhibited I would say.
Parker
Ooh, I like that a lot. Uninhibited. If you had one superpower, what would it be?
Calla Mia
I'm not a very decisive person so this part's tricky for me.
Parker
Yes.
Calla Mia
Any superpower? I'm like, looking around to see what I could have as a superpower.
Parker
It's funny, because these are such low stakes questions and yet they feel so hard to answer.
Calla Mia
Right? It's like I feel like I'm defining my superpower for the rest of my life.
Parker
If it takes the pressure off, I'm not gonna give you a superpower after this because I, I don't have that power.
Calla Mia
I guess my superpower, I'll cheat, I always liked the idea of being able to wish for more wishes. So whatever superpower would let me wish for more wishes that one.
Parker
I like that a lot. What is something simple that brings you joy?
Calla Mia
Getting mail, even if it's junk mail, I love opening my mailbox and seeing that there's something there for me. So yes, receiving gifts is also a big love language for me. It’s just mail is like the simple thing, now if it's something I ordered, even better, but.
Parker
Oh, that's so perfect. Well, that brings us to the end of rapid-fire which is the end of the interview. Thank you so so much this was so fun.
Calla Mia
Thank you for having me on. I had a lot of fun as well kind of crazy being on the podcast now after having listened to every single episode. So, I really appreciate you extending the invitation.
Parker
Of course, I love that you reached out and and it's an honor to have you on the show. So, let's say bye to the listeners. Bye everybody.
Calla Mia
Bye.
Parker
Thank you for listening.
Parker
I hope you enjoyed the interview. Calla's a doll and honestly if there's any other listeners out there who wants to pitch a topic idea for the show. I am all ears you can email me at sexy galaxy pod@gmail.com to pitch an idea and I'd love to hear it; I'm always looking for different angles and more fellow sex workers to chat with. So, look forward to getting your emails and I guess here's where we put a space fact. Space fact, so today for inspiration and potentially just to steal one and use it which is exactly what's going to happen I went and found a list of space facts that will, quote unquote, blow your mind, that was the tagline. And the first one that I read said that a light year is the distance that light can travel in a year and I don't know about you but that didn't exactly blow my mind. But one that did that I thought was wild is that on Venus it snows metal and rains sulfuric acid. So, the the metal, the metals on Venus, the metals that are readily available on the surface of the planet go through the same the, the water cycle that goes through the water cycle, except it's metal on Venus, and I just thought it was so ironic because Venus is named after like the goddess of fertility and love and it's just like, so metal up there, so harsh. Yep, so there's some food for thought for you, don't piss off Venus and also don't plant anything there, and a parka will not save you. Okay. Nanu Nanu motherfuckers.