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In this episode of the "I Come First" podcast, our host, Amie Barsky, welcomes Susy Schieffelin, the founder of The Copper Vessel and The Sound Healers Academy. Susy shares her transformative journey from a high-paced corporate life in New York City to becoming a renowned sound healer in Los Angeles. She opens up about her struggles with alopecia, addiction, and the pivotal moment that led her to sobriety and self-love. Susy discusses the profound impact of sound baths, Reiki, and Kundalini yoga on her healing process. 

The conversation also delves into balancing masculine and feminine energies, redefining beauty standards, and the importance of self-care, especially as a mother and businesswoman. Tune in for an inspiring story of resilience, self-acceptance, and the power of holistic healing practices.

What We Explored This Episode

3:26: Susy's Journey to Self-Acceptance

5:37: Susy's Struggle with Addiction and Recovery

14:15:Core Themes

21:36:Finding Balance in Masculine and Feminine Energies

25:17:Amie's Story of Missed Opportunity

29:49:Advice on Self-Care for Mothers

32:44:The Importance of Self-Care for Parents

36:38:Creating a Safe Nervous System

40:53:Susy's Daily Cacao Ritual

Memorable Quotes

"Becoming a mother shifted so much for me because before that, I was very good about my self care, but I was also quite rigid. Like, every morning it was sitting on my sheepskin for an hour to 2 hours, doing my perfect breath work and my chanting and my Kundalini practice. And when you have a newborn and when you have little kids, it's not realistic to do that."

"I moved from New York to California. And that was when I experienced my first sound bath. I had already been to rehab. I had already started meditating. I had already begun a daily gratitude practice, but I couldn't stay fully sober. When I moved to California and went to my first sound bath, it felt like something shifted within me."

"I trust so deeply that the universe will put the person in front of me who can support me, can support my babies, so that I can fill up my cup and be the best possible mom to these little ones. And it's a gift to let other people love you and hold you. It feels good to help people. It feels good for him to get to care for the kids."

Resources Mentioned

The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer - https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Experiment-Journey-Lifes-Perfection/dp/080414110X 

Connect with Susy

Susy’s Website - https://www.thesoundhealersacademy.com/ 

Susy’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thecoppervessel 

Susy’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thesoundhealersacademy/ 

Susy’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheCopperVessel 

Connect With Amie

Download My Free Breathwork Practice

https://www.amiebarsky.com/free-breathwork

Website: https://amiebarsky.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amie-barsky/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amiebarskycoaching/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmieBarsky?sub_confirmation=1

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Susy Schieffelin

0:00 - 0:30Ignore this for outputs

It was incremental. And then there was a leap. So essentially, I moved across the country. I had been living in New York City, working in luxury lifestyle management. I was on site at a few hotels. I was on site assisting people in the private residences at the plaza. I moved from New York to California. And that was when I experienced my first sound bath. And I had already been to rehab. I had already started meditating. I had already begun a daily gratitude practice, but I couldn't stay fully sober.

Amie Barsky

0:37 - 3:26

Hello, hello and welcome to the I come first podcast, where putting yourself first is not selfish, it's self care. And self care is essential. Yes, you heard me right. Here we are flipping the script, and I'm gonna show you how. I'm your host, Amy Barsky, and I'm so excited you're here. If you're tired of feeling overworked and underappreciated, this is a sanctuary where I'll share my entire journey as a guide to help you break through your patterns, limiting beliefs and societal pressures. To be perfect. These juicy weekly conversations with myself and guest experts will be filled with practical tools, advice, inspiring stories, and unstoppable energy. So if you're ready, then buckle up. It's time to ignite your inner fire and make I come first your new daily mantra. Oh, do I have an episode for you today. Welcome to the I come first podcast. I'm your host Amy Barsky, and I had the pure joy of chatting with our special guest, Susie Marco Scheflin. She is the vibrant force behind the copper vessel. This LA based sound healer has orchestrated healing experiences for millions of people all over the world, from Google execs to rock stars. But Susie's journey goes way beyond her crystal balls. She's a master at balancing the success between her business and motherhood, and she shares her transition from corporate life to becoming a sober sound healer, transforming her struggles into self love lessons. She opens up about her early alopecia diagnosis and how shaving her head became one of the most powerful acts of self love and self acceptance that changed her life forever. In the best ways possible, we explore the importance of playing with both our masculine and feminine energy, listening to our intuition, and taking one step at a time. Even when the ego wants to have it all figured out, I promise you, you'll leave feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to turn up the volume in your own self care symphony. And before we jump into today's episode, here is a quick and exciting announcement. Oh my gosh, I first off, am so excited to have you here today. Susie, when I experienced your gifts, your sound healing, gosh, it must have been a couple of years ago now, maybe three or four years ago. It was pure magic and I have been ignited into your world since. So thank you. Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule. I know you are a new mom again. You've got a newborn at home. So I'm so glad that you are here to share your gifts. And yeah, let's just get right to it. Welcome to the I come first podcast. Let's just go into sharing a little bit about yourself and how you got on this journey as a sound healer.

Susy Schieffelin

3:26 - 5:24

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. It's such a gift to be connected on our journeys and for anyone who is meeting me here for the first time, I'm Susie Mercury Scheflin. I'm the founder of the copper vessel and the founder of the Sound Healers Academy. And I am a sound healer, a Reiki master, a kundalini yoga teacher, and most of all, a human. And that is what has led me to be on this journey. That's what has led me to be here today. And it began pretty early on in my life that a healing journey was activated. You know, when I was about seven years old, I started to experience a condition called alopecia areata, which is essentially unexplained hair loss. So I had these bald spots and I didn't know what was wrong with me. My mom took me to all sorts of doctors, and back then they didn't really know. They didn't have any causes. They had experimental treatments. And so she started taking me to different energy healers. And along the way, I sort of picked up a belief that something was wrong with me and started to develop a lot of anxiety around losing my hair. Is more going to fall out? Are people going to be able to tell? My mind got very loud. And from the time that I was seven until I was about 13, that was my reality. And when I was about 13, I discovered alcohol. And that alcohol had this magical power of allowing me to escape my thoughts. And so I started drinking at a pretty early age. And it was, I mean, with middle school friends and then high school friends and then college friends, and it looked to everyone else like partying. But it was really kind of a way of coping with extreme social anxiety. You know, just this fear of people discovering that I was losing my hair or thinking something was wrong with me. Cause I believed that about myself and then that.

Amie Barsky

5:24 - 5:37

And it's hard enough as a kid, as a teenager, to be wanting to feel like you fit in and feel included. Like, I can't even imagine having this underlying story so deep.

Susy Schieffelin

5:37 - 8:22

Amie Barsky

Wow. Well, first I want to say thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing this story. I can only imagine that, you know, the identity that women have with our hair self included, huge. And going through that in your entire childhood, into adulthood, into relationships, and turning towards other things to numb it out, I can totally relate to all of that, and I just am so celebrating you in the path that you've walked and what you've created for yourself. Because if any of that, you know, I'm a firm believer that we can pass things down, right? The cycles of trauma and the cycles of habits and patterns, and you're stopping all of this in your lineage right now is you've got these two little ones at home and wow. Wow, what a journey you've been on, and what a journey you're on right now and all the gifts that you share. I'd love to talk about your transition from that corporate life. I've been in the industry of restaurants and hospitality for over, let's see, 25 years about. From. By the time I was 14, I started and I stopped around my mid thirties ish. So the connection between being sober and being a sound healer and this influence that has come into you of that messaging and now your perspective on self care and nurturing oneself, because what a shift did you. I guess my question is. Let me get clear on my question. Was it a pendulum swing, like one to the other, or was it incremental? Small steps. How did you transition?

Susy Schieffelin

It was incremental. And then there was a leap. So essentially I moved across the country. I had been living in New York City, working in luxury lifestyle management. I was on site at a few hotels. I was on site assisting people in the private residences, at the plaza. I moved from New York to California. And that was when I experienced my first sound bath. And I had already been to rehab. I had already started meditating. I had already begun a daily gratitude practice, but I couldn't stay fully sober when I would socialize. I was clear at that point that I was done with pills, I was done with alcohol. But when I would socialize, if someone pulled out some marijuana, I would take a hit or I would eat a gummy. And it was something that kept pulling me back. And when I moved to California and went to my first sound bath, it felt like something shifted within me. It was this experience where I laid down. I did not know what to expect. My aunt had brought me. I lay there, and for the next hour, it was like I went on this journey and connected with my true self. And I don't remember what exactly happened in that journey. It was almost like I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I felt very, very calm. I felt very grounded. And it didn't last that long. It lasted about a day. And then I woke up the next day, like, wait, I want that feeling back. And because I had moved and I didn't know very many people, the next opportunity I found to go to a sound bath, I went, because it was like, I don't know what to do on a Friday night or a Saturday night when I don't know very many people, and I'm not going to bars anymore. So I went to another sound bath, and I went to another sound bath, and I went to another sound bath. And little by little, the light started to come back into my eyes. Time began to pass, and I didn't smoke weed. I was no longer tempted. And people started to look, and I was losing weight. I lost almost 40 pounds without trying, just effortlessly. It was like this weight I'd been carrying started to fall off. I was getting this new glow. People were saying, what are you doing?

Amie Barsky

What are you doing?

Susy Schieffelin

And I was like, I'm going to these sound baths. And all the while, I was still working at my corporate job, but I had started to feel this whisper within me that was like, this is no longer in alignment with your spirit. And I felt this sort of knowing that, you know, I'm still here to help people, which that's what I was doing working in hospitality customer service. I was helping people, but I was like, there's a deeper level of service that I'm feeling called to. And I didn't know what it was going to look like. I wanted to quit my job and just, like, fully spend my life starting to take trainings and beginning this new path. But it was like, just keep taking the next step, Suzie. Just keep taking the next step. So I kept going to sound baths. One sound bath I went to, and it was October of 2015, of 2016. I got out of it, and it was like, just go ask the instructor. So I went up and I thanked the instructor afterwards, and I said, how do I learn this? And he said, I'll teach you. So I began mentoring with him and assisting him every Sunday. And I remember I was like, this is too good to be true, because he paid me $100 to come help him, and I would play the gong and chug people in his event. And I was like, I would totally do this for free, and I'm making $100. It was like, ah. And so that's what I did for about six months. I studied with him very closely. I began to read every book that I could find about sound healing. You know, just study it, immerse myself in it, all the while still feeling like, you know, there's something more for you, but it's not time to do anything yet. Just keep taking the next step. Keep taking the next step. So I kept showing up for my corporate job. I kept playing the gong on Sunday nights. And then in the spring of 2017, I read a book called the Surrender Experiment by Michael a. Singer. And I had taken my first Reiki training, so I had just gone through that initiation, which is massive. And now that I've trained many people in Reiki, I see that I'm not the only one who, after becoming Reiki, initiated, goes through, like, that breakthrough moment. Have you had that experience?

Amie Barsky

I love that. I really want to reflect how amazing it is that you followed your intuition of take it step by step, because, one, for me, I was not even connected to my intuition. I didn't know what that was. For most of my life, that word didn't exist in my vocabulary, nor did the word self love to be transparent. And the fact that you kept listening to the voice and just following the steps and not making a drastic cut, because sometimes when we do that, it causes us to spiral in that place of overwhelm. Well, now, how am I going to support myself and things like that financially and all the above? And so that's exciting to hear that. The fact that you were so tapped in and you chose to listen to that whisper, that voice, because a lot of us don't. Self included at times. And I'm doing it more and more and more in my life. And then note, the more and more I practice this, I'm like, oh, my God, life can feel so much easier, so much more in flow, so much less chaotic, which was my nervous system was programmed to all the chaos, you know, most of my childhood. And so I love that. I really want to acknowledge and, like, really reflect that, because if you're a listener right now and that's something you desire to do, is to start listening to that inner voice, or you're like, what is that? What's happening? You're not crazy. It's an intuition. There's a voice inside of us that sparks that next step, you know? And it's really about tuning into that voice and having a relationship with it. And I also wanted to share. We went through something similar. It sounds like you had your first sound bath experience, and it just opened up an entire world for you, and you came out feeling like, I'm a new person. And that was my experience. When I first sat in breathwork, I had no idea what I was stepping into. And when that session was finished, I was just on fire, like, in the most powerful way. I felt so grounded, so infused, so, yeah, it was wild. So these modalities are very powerful, and I love that we can play like you're playing with Reiki and sound and, like, all of it, because it's not. I really want to emphasize that it's not a one and done. It's not a quick fix, and it's not a one size fits all, almost always for me, in my own healing journey anyway, it's always been a combination of things. You know, it's a combination of sound healing of breath, work of parts, work of somatic practices. And so it's this, you know, when you can work with someone like yourself or myself or whoever you choose to work with, when they have that blend, they have the tap in to go, I've got a toolkit here. What do I feel is going to serve my client the best? You know? And so I just so love that so much. I love to tap into, you know, you're a woman who's experienced alopecia. How have you redefined beauty standards and self worth for yourself? And how can other women start to apply these insights?

Susy Schieffelin

Well, circling back for just a second, I will say exactly what you just shared is so spot on. And working with facilitators who have a variety of tools in their toolbox, I think is so supportive. And we were talking about this before we officially jumped on, is just that, like, there is no one size fits all answer existing outside of yourself. And that sound math, where I actually asked the instructor, how do I learn? It was a breathwork sound math. So it was the combination of the modalities that activated that within me and what I've learned through the experiences I've been on, is when you feel and hear that inner whisper, it's not going to go away. What's meant for you won't miss you. I know that's like a cliche saying, but it's so true and it's really about. And this will tie into the question you just asked, like that self love, it is cultivated when you develop that relationship with your intuition. And that's really what happened for me, you know? And even though I felt this really strong and sometimes it was intense calling, that was like, take action. Do something, like, you can't possibly show up to your corporate job anymore. Like, focus on your healing. Make your impact. It was like, no, slow and steady. Just take it one step at a time, you know, and let it be revealed. And I love that you said, let it be effortless. Let it be easy. It doesn't have to be chaotic. And as a recovered alcoholic and addict, like, my. My nervous system was also used to the chaos and the drama and to use these somatic practices, such as breath, such as sound, to retrain our nervous systems to see, like, it doesn't have to be like that. It can be graceful, it can be easily. It doesn't mean it's always comfortable. And then it's not scary that, let's emphasize on that. But, yeah, but it can be graceful and guided by that deep, intuitive knowing. And for me, that is self love. And that is how I began to really cultivate that experience in my career and also physically with myself, where it wasn't like I went to one sound bath and the next day I was like, I love myself so much. I totally accept myself. Let me shave my head. It was like, just keep practicing. Right? And so by continuing to show up, and as I learned sound healing, as I learned Reiki, as I learned to teach yoga and practice and teach Kundalini, I also kept receiving and I kept working with coaches and guides and receiving this healing and working through it for myself. And it wasn't until 2019, so a few years later, that I was. I actually just had graduated from my Kundalini yoga teacher training, and I knew it was time to really let go and embrace myself fully. And I just had done so much work around my experience with alopecia and had come to a point where I could see, this is my greatest teacher. This is what led me to the dark night of the soul. This is what led me to explore these healing modalities. And I can't stop thinking about what other people are thinking of me, if I'm wearing a wig or not wearing a wig or this or that. So I could see that I was living as a prisoner of my own mind and that I was the only one that could free me. It wasn't going to be a doctor. It wasn't going to be. I was perfectly healthy. I'd been sober at that point for 2019 for a few years, and there was, physically speaking, nothing wrong with me. And yet my hair kept falling out. And so I just thought to myself, you know, if God wanted me to have hair, I would. But this is my gift. This is my point of vulnerability to the world. So how can I embrace that most deeply and liberate myself? And on June 4, 2019, I went to my hairstylist and I said, let's shave it all off. And I did, and I've shaved it ever since then. If I let it grow out, I have, like, some crazy who knows what combination of sprouts of hair. But it's like, no, Suzy, just accept who you are. Love yourself. And all of the experiences in sound healing and breath work and Reiki and yoga gave me the space to really hear that voice and listen to it and receive it. And it didn't happen overnight. Like, I have screenshots in my phone from, like, 2015 of bald women. And I was like, is this going to be me? And, like, years later, I'm like, this is who I choose to be. I choose to accept this. I choose to love myself.

Amie Barsky

What you're talking about, that happens in your academy of marinating the masculine and feminine, bringing in the harmony of both. So if you would just want to start with a full sentence there, that might be a good. I don't know. Who knows?

Susy Schieffelin

Perfect. No, I'll jump right back in. So the masculine is necessary for the consciousness, the intention, the structure, right? We get out of bed, we have an intention for, you know, for this hour, I'm going to do this. And the feminine is essential because that's the juiciness, that's the energy. Like you said, the pleasure, the magic. And we need the balance of both. And the feminine is what feels so good. The masculine doesn't feel as good. But if we don't, if I don't put it on my calendar that I'm showing up for this podcast, I don't get to be here with you, Amy, and have this delicious conversation and have so much fun. I'm going to be somewhere wandering around, playing in my garden, snuggling my baby, which is also great, but I need that container to hold it. So finding that flow in life and in business is what really allows you to thrive.

Amie Barsky

I love that. I love that. Oh, my gosh, this is so good because this is something I have been actively working on with myself for the past, I'd say maybe year or so, really getting into my feminine and fully owning my wisdom and my creativity, you know, and how I want to be in the world, because I was so programmed to do, go, people, please. Good girl. Check the box. Hustle. And my nervous system was a hot mess. It was so frantic with overwhelm, and I would literally collapse on my floor and having anxiety attacks. I'm like, it's just too much. How does one person do all it is? And so having tools that I have now in my back pocket, and, of course, you know, I have coaches that I talk to almost on the daily. You know, if something's coming up, I have a support system, whether it's tools and people, mentorships and coaching. And I feel I grew up in a way where the mindset was, prove to the world that you can do it on your own. And I was competitive gymnast most of my life. So that means I was competing against other women, other girls. So I learned that it was competition. There was no collaboration. There was no, like, oh, we get to collaborate and make something and create something that didn't exist for me. And so, yes, the sport was amazing, and all the things that I got to benefit from that. However, I feel like that was a big. What's the word I want to use? It was a big influence. There we go. On my perspective of having sisterhood, like, I was always competing, and then I got into high school and college, and now you're competing for the boys. You know, just all of that was a big thing. And so now it's about really taking that full ownership of, like, women get to lift each other up. We get to collaborate. We're actually meant for that. We're meant to tribe. We're meant to tribe together.

Susy Schieffelin

So true. I love that I did not know that about you. And, of course, I feel it in you because I feel you as such a sister, and I've always felt that since I've known you. And I feel like that is. It's one of the greatest gifts that we can share. It's something that's being reborn in our culture, in our world right now, is just this energy that there is no scarcity, there is no lack. If you are living as your truest, most embodied, authentic self, letting that quiet whisper of your intuition be what guides you. There is no such thing as competition. There is not. And that's what I love. I love to share and infuse into all my programs, especially the sound heals academy, is like, yes, we're all sound healers, and there is no competition here. There's 8 billion people on this planet. Every single one of them could benefit from a sound on every single one of them could benefit from breath work. Right. And the way that I share my sound healing is different than the way that you lead your breathwork is different than when we unite together and we share a collaborative experience. Oh, my gosh. Right. And the people are going to find their right healers. And if we can lift each other up and empower each other to share our unique gifts.

Amie Barsky

Yeah. And circling right back around full circle to what is meant for you won't miss. You. You cannot miss. And just a quick story. I was in an experience where I went through a training, and then after the training, I had this expectation that I would be hired onto the staffing team because that's kind of how I was inspired to start the training. Oh, but this will happen when you're done. And that didn't happen. And my heart was broken because I had this expectation. And I asked myself, you know, what could I have done differently? What could I have done better? How could I have, you know, I started doing the inner critic, the self beat up and all the things. So I turned to one of my mentors and I asked her, I said, hey, can you look at how I showed up here? Cause I wanted her to answer. I wanted her to give me an answer, like, justify why I wasn't invited in. And she said to me, amy, if you were supposed to be on the staffing team, you would be. You would be there if that was meant for you. And that was a tough pill to swallow at first. However, looking back now, several years later, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful that door, I didn't walk down that opportunity or that door was shut, really, because, yeah, it would have been a much different path for me today, so.

Susy Schieffelin

And that's the thing, too. I mean, and same thing, time back with my hair. Like, if I was meant to have hair, I would, right? Like, if I was meant to have a full head of hair. And so I can resist it, I can be mad about it, I can grieve it, I can wear wigs and this and that, but that's just going to make me a prisoner and lead me to suffer. And same thing with that. If you were meant to be on that team, you would. And you could be mad. You could fight, you could criticize yourself, you could criticize them, which is going to just cause your own suffering, or you can say, great. Okay, universe, what's next? Show me, what door is this opening. With this door closing. So with that door closing, look how much has opened up for you. With my door closing on hair. It allowed me so much more energy to focus on being vulnerable and sharing true love and self acceptance, you know, and being a beacon about anyone who sees me is like, okay, she's bald. What's the story here? You know, it opens up this point of connection with so many people just by me looking this way, walking through the world. And it's such a gift, especially in.

Amie Barsky

A world for women who are so influenced by what society says a beautiful woman looks like, what her body looks like, how she has her hair or her lashes or her lipstick or whatever the new, latest fad could be. It's so, you know, wow. Like, full ownership.

Susy Schieffelin

We all have our thing, right? So for me, it's my hair. For someone else, it might be a scar, it might be their nose, it might be their butt or their boobs, whatever. And it's like if we can embrace and accept ourselves and love ourselves so deeply for exactly who we are while we're taking care of ourselves, right? Like, I had to go through, clean up my diet. I got sober, and I was like, okay, it's still falling out. Like, this isn't. I'm not, like, doing something that's causing this living a healthy life, mind, body, spirit. There's something here. So I feel like when we can embrace ourselves like that, and let me tell you, one of my biggest fears, understandably, was no man will ever love me or think I'm beautiful if I'm bald. And it was less than six months after I shaved my head that I met my husband. And he, when he, like, for Halloween this year, I dressed up as Barbie and put on a wig. He's like, what are you doing? You look so weird with hairdouse. Like, I think I'm like, this is what I used to look like.

Amie Barsky

Look at me a long way.

Susy Schieffelin

He's like, take that off. Which is so healing, because for so many years, I was like, I would be unlovable, especially by a man, if I was bald. And he loves me because. And it's just, it's.

Amie Barsky

He loves all of you, is what I'm hearing. Every aspect of you, mentally, physically, emotionally, all the things. And that's what relationship is about. There's no one perfect human. It's loving everything about the person and what comes with it. All of it, you know? All of them. All of it. So I love that. Well, my gosh, we could talk all day. I do want to get to this one last question, if you're open for it. Successful businesswoman, mother of two, how has your approach to self prioritization or self care, how has that evolved between all of that? Because it's, what I'm hearing is the business was something that evolved. Then motherhood, you know, marriage and motherhood came into the picture. And what advice would you give to women struggling to maintain their identity among these multiple roles?

Susy Schieffelin

Absolutely. I mean, first of all, it's a journey, and it's always evolving. And I think giving yourself grace is the biggest key. And asking yourself what is in service to me right now? Right. Like, becoming a mother shifted so much for me because before that, I was very good about my self care, but I was also quite rigid. Like, every morning it was sitting on my sheepskin for an hour to 2 hours, doing my perfect breath work and my chanting and my KundalinI practice. And when you have a newborn and when you have little kids, it's not realistic to do that, you know? And so after my first son was born, after my son was born, for about nine months, it was like such black and white thinking where I was like, well, either need to sit on my sheep skin for an hour and a half, or it can't be anything. And so what I learned is it's not black or white, you know? And so right now, I just gave birth to my daughter two months ago. And for these two months, it's in my bed with her, either on my boob or next to me for ten minutes, breathing and listening, you know, and I'll read some spiritual texts, but that's it. But it's something, you know? And I do that every morning to fill up my cup before I go downstairs. And in fact, I. A couple days ago, my husband started having tried to have a conversation logistics with me before I did that. And I said, my love, my cup is not full yet. I'm not. I'm not the version of myself that I want to be. So if you can give me ten minutes, I'll be down and we can talk about it. And that's how I start my day. And then from there, I also prioritize, you know, first of all, receiving support and trusting that support can look different than I might think. Sometimes I think it needs to be a nanny or my mother in law and it's my husband. Sometimes I think it's my husband and it's a nanny or the mother in law, right? So really saying, like, I trust that I will have what I need when I need to have it, and receiving support and with that, allowing someone to watch her or hold her while I do move my body or go get a massage or go get acupuncture or go to the chiropractor. Right? But not saying, well, now I'm this martyr who's gonna sit here with a baby on my boob, trapped in my house. I can't do anything. It's I trust so deeply that the universe will put the person in front of me who can support me, can support my babies, so that I can fill up my cup and be the best possible mom to these little ones.

Amie Barsky

First off, love all of that. And I do know that I have several friends who would probably say something like, what about mom guilt? That guilt of leaving your child or that guilt of putting yourself first and leaving, you know, the house a mess or the husband with the baby. Like, all the things. How do you work through the guilt? Because I feel like guilt is human. Like, we're still human.

Susy Schieffelin

Oh, my gosh. It's so real. It's so human. And I will never. I mean, I'm already anticipating the day that my daughter goes to her first day of daycare, and, like, I'm already anticipating that guilt. And when I first took my son, I was like, oh, my gosh. Because he started. Started going when he was three months. She's going to start going when she's three and a half months. So, like, that alone. But, I mean, anything it could be leaving the house. I, you know, remember the first time I left the house and Jack got his first bottle, or joy got her first bottle? I'm like, oh, my God. She's not nursing the bottle. It's so real. And I know that I will be the best mom to them when my cup is full and there's times when I have not filled my cup, and then I feel my temper getting short or I don't respond to them as patiently find myself as present with them as I want to be. And, you know, growing up, like I said, I have three younger sisters. My mom was a stay at home mom for all four of us. My dad traveled a ton. She did her best, but she didn't have access to all of the tools and resources, and self care wasn't a thing back then. And there were times when. I mean, and she was an amazing mom. She's my best friend. I talked to her before this. I'll talk to her after this. Like, truly, like, love of my life is my mom. And she would lose her temper, and I don't want to be that way for my kids. And I know that that's something that just because that was how I was raised. That's where I will go to, is I'll want to yell. I'll want to get worked up. I mean, it's normal to become reactive when you lose your patience with a baby or a two year old, with anybody.

Amie Barsky

Your partner, your mom.

Susy Schieffelin

What?

Amie Barsky

All of it. Like, we're still human, you know?

Susy Schieffelin

Yeah. And I don't want to be that version of myself, you know? I want to be present with my babies, and I am, because I have a full cup. You know, like, the other day, I could have totally snapped at my husband. I could have. Who knows where that conversation would have gone? But just by saying, hey, babe, I need to meditate for ten minutes before starting my day, he got to experience me as a calm, cheerful version of myself and my little ones too. You know, when Jack doesn't want to eat his pancakes or, you know, spills his water, I don't react to him. I'm like, hey, bud. Okay, how can we make these pancakes yummier?

Amie Barsky

Or I want to emphasize the communication with your husband of, like, this is what I need, babe. Because I know for me, when I was married for a short time in my life, and I was so afraid to ask her what I needed, I actually didn't. I don't even think I knew it. I needed to be honest. I was young and just not awake in my life of, like, oh, I have choice. I'm not just supposed to people please and keep being the good wife and all the things. And so that, to me, is such a valuable, high value standard in my life now, where I get to ask for my needs, and this is something I work with my clients around, is owning your voice and asking for your needs to be met in, of course, a loving and compassionate way. And so, yes to all of that. Yes to all of that. Suzy, this is so beautiful. I just.

Susy Schieffelin

And I'll say that it. Even when you ask, the guilt can still be there. And the only way to break through it is by doing it and learning that, like, I asked for what I needed, I got it, and everything was okay, right? Like, I'll say I need to go to yoga, and he'll be like, okay, I've got it. And I'm like, all right. I feel so guilty. I need to race home. And I get home, and everything's okay. And then I learned that, like, it's in service not only to myself, but to him and my whole family. And it feels good to help people. Like, it feels good for him to get to care for the kids.

Amie Barsky

You're giving an opportunity for him to give a gift or whoever that might be that helped. It could be a friend taking us to the airport. It could be the tiniest little things. And I really would love to just chime in for a second on the shoot. I just totally lost my thought.

Susy Schieffelin

Sorry. I went on my transit. No, no, no. You actually inspired it.

Amie Barsky

And then I just went right on the window. It was around this. Oh, the nervous system around creating the safety. Because if we're programmed to constantly do, do, go, go, hustle, be everything, hold everything, and not receive that support, we don't. Our bodies don't know. Our nervous system doesn't know that it's actually safe and it's okay to receive support and help. And that's, again, a practice that I've been doing with myself over the past, I'd say, like, seven or eight years and still practicing it every day, you know, and, yeah, so it's the creation of the nervous system that's been on a program of fight or flight or maybe even freeze. Right? And then going, oh, we're doing a new program here. We're doing a new practice here. We're doing something different, this to go around. So here we go. It's safe. Aim. It's safe. Susie, go do the thing. We got you.

Susy Schieffelin

You know, and you're not a burden. It's safe. You're not a burden. It's a gift to let other people love you and hold you. Right? Like, sometimes when I feel guilty, that's where I go to. I'm like, it's a gift to let my mother in law come watch joy. She's getting to snuggle a baby. She's getting to feel helpful, right? Like, it's a gift to let my husband do the thing. He gets to feel involved. He gets to feel like he's done something nice for me. I love giving gifts. I love doing things for other people, and it's actually selfish.

Amie Barsky

I love that.

Susy Schieffelin

I love that.

Amie Barsky

Well, okay, so as we start to wrap up our amazing conversation, is there a tip that you could give our listeners something to practice, something that they can start to implement today that could ignite and support their self care way of being on the daily or once a week or something? We have to start somewhere.

Susy Schieffelin

So I'll give a two part. A two part. And so it's, again, going back to the masculine feminine. Create this container for yourself that will bookend your day. I would say start your day with a tiny bit of meditation, if you're not already meditating give yourself ten minutes. Just sit in silence, pay attention to your breath, fill up your cup in that way to start your day. I'm sure many of you have much more elaborate practices, but if you don't start with that, so start your day with something, and then the other end is to bookend it with three things you're grateful for and three things that you did well that day. So I think for someone like me, where I can easily beat up on myself, I can easily be perfectionistic. When I'm winding down for the night, even if I'm looking at gratitudes, I can still think like, didn't do this or I did that or I should have done. And just to give yourself three things, three celebrations. Wow. You know, I made it on time for the podcast.

Amie Barsky

Like whatever it may be, three things that you did well, they can be.

Susy Schieffelin

Tiny wins or big wins, but give yourself three things you're grateful for and three things that you did well that day.

Amie Barsky

I love that. And it is. It really is the small steps that get us to the top of the mountain. You know, some of us, I just want to take the helicopter ride there. But if you don't, if you take the helicopter ride, you're actually going to miss the journey and you're going to miss all the healing that happens between the base and the summit of the mountain. I'll use that as a metaphor. What is the best way for people to connect with you? Suzie?

Susy Schieffelin

The best way to connect with me is probably on Instagram. My Instagram is the copper vessel. And if you're curious about sound healing, I also another Instagram which is the Sound Healers academy. We share lots of information, tips, resources on there. And if you're curious about becoming a certified sound healer, or if you just want to get a taste, I have an intro mini course that's on demand. You can take it anytime. Or we have a three month professional certification training that runs twice a year. The next class is coming up soon, starting in the fall. So that is thesoundhealersacademy.com dot. You can find out all the information there about how to become certified and learn to play crystal alchemy singing bowls.

Amie Barsky

Go follow Suzie right now. Like right now. Soon as you're done listening, go follow her. She's amazing.

Susy Schieffelin

And send me a message. I respond to all the messages myself. I love, love, love to connect. I love to hear from you, seriously, like it's a global community and it's just magic. So I can't wait to hear from you.

Amie Barsky

So I'll ask. And I know we kind of touched on one of the things you do. Is there another thing that you could say is your daily I come first practice? Anything else you want to plug into besides your ten minutes in the morning with joy on your boob?

Susy Schieffelin

Well, recently, actually, this is something I've been doing consistently for the past few months. I love working with cacao. I feel like it's just so heart opening, so nourishing, so healing. And for the past couple of months, since, really right around since when joy was born, every morning I make myself a cup of raw ceremonial grade cacao and I use rose as well. So I put some powdered rose petals and some rose water in and then I drink my cacao. I drink it very mindfully, very intentionally as I'm preparing it. It's like a beautiful ritual. I also put Ceylon cinnamon in, which is so nice. And it's just, yeah, it's such a nice way to start my day with a warm beverage that also has such heart opening properties.

Amie Barsky

I love that. Well, thank you so much, Susie, for joining us here. Absolute pleasure. So much insight into your world and how you support epic humans in your journey and you just shine from the inside out. I feel so blessed to be here with you today and that our lives, our paths got to cross in this lifetime. Like, it's just so much magic.

Susy Schieffelin

I'm so grateful to be connected. Thank you so much for having me. This has been so much fun, so joyful, and I can't wait to hear the episode when it comes out and to connect with everyone listening.

Amie Barsky

Please go follow Susie right now. Thanks for tuning into today's episode. I know your time is valuable and I'm so grateful that we get a chance to share this space together. If you're wanting more from myself or any of my guests right now, I am a hell yes to that. I love your enthusiasm, so let's make it happen. Simply check out the links in the show notes for all the information on the latest offerings, programs, and possibilities to connect outside this space. Or feel free to send me a DM on Instagram, Amybarson coaching and of course, if you have any reflections or feedback, I am all ears. Also, if you feel this episode supported you, will you please leave a rating and a review? Your reviews really help people to discover the show and if you know of anyone you feel would benefit from this podcast, please pass it along. A special thanks to my parents for always watching over me and for my team at fullcast for making this show possible. I can't wait to be back in your ears next week. Trust me, you won't want to miss this next episode.