Have you ever found yourself staring at your work and wondering, “What’s the point?” after losing someone important?

In this episode, I respond to a listener who recently lost a dear friend and finds that their “give-a-toss-ometer” is utterly broken. They’re wondering whether it’s okay to just stop for a while—and the answer might surprise you.

We explore how grief recalibrates our values, why traditional career drive can fade in times of emotional upheaval, and what a season of sense-making might look like instead of rushing into change. This one’s a gentle, human conversation about the hidden impact of grief on our working lives—and why it’s perfectly okay not to have it all figured out yet.

🎧 We cover:

• Why grief can make previously fulfilling work feel flat
• How loss reshapes our relationship with time
• Tiny first steps when you don’t know what’s next
• My favourite tools and podcast recommendations for grieving professionals

👉 Mentioned in this episode:

• Article: How a health scare, bereavement or grief impacts career change
• Book: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
• Podcast: Griefcast
• Joy At Work Episode with Dipti Tait
• Join the Midlife Unstuck Community

❤️ If this episode resonates, give yourself permission to slow down. Grief isn’t something to fix—it’s something to honour.

This is the Joy At Work podcast, and I'm Lucy Knight.

Here's this week's question from a listener.

I'm grieving the loss of a close friend, and honestly,

my give-a-toss-ometer is broken.

I've always been good at my job, but lately I just don't care about it.

I'm thinking of taking some time off to figure out what comes next.

I've got lovely friends and family who are supporting me, but I can't shake the

feeling that life's just too short to spend it doing work that doesn't matter.

Is it okay to just stop for a while?

I'm sorry to hear that your friend has died.

That's a big emotional weight to carry, and it makes complete

sense that your work feels.

Well flat right now.

When you say your give-a-toss-ometer is broken, I think a lot of

our listeners will get that.

Few of us make it to our age without losing brilliant, wonderful people who

no longer add to the joy in our lives.

In my experience, grief changes everything including work.

It's no wonder you're feeling that your work no longer interests you.

It's a natural human response to loss.

Your energy, your attention, your desire for meaning, they've all

been shaken up and reordered.

The loss of important people from our lives can jolt us

into reevaluating everything, especially how we spend our time.

And spend is an important word.

Once you've experienced deep loss, spending time seems unbelievably wasteful.

What we're often drawn to is figuring out how we can invest

our time more valuably instead.

These painful events, bereavement, loss, grief, they don't just touch our

emotions, they recalibrate our values.

They unveil what really matters and what really matters to you will

be very different to what really matters to me and to each of us.

And when that recalibration happens, it's not uncommon for the job

you've been good at for years to suddenly feel empty or meaningless.

Because you're no longer the same person who chose that job.

Taking time off is not a luxury.

It's wise.

So our listener is thinking of taking a little time off and to that I say

yes, if you can do, but don't feel you need to emerge from that time with a

fully baked plan about your work future.

Real lasting, enduring career changes don't come in the chaos of early grief.

They take months and sometimes years, but what can you do right now?

Instead of rushing into big decisions, consider this season of sense making.

Give yourself a little space to grieve without judgment.

Some days you'll be fine, and some days you'll want to watch bad tv with your

friends, old scarf wrapped around you.

Both are okay.

Start thinking about and begin to notice what energizes you.

Which topics, subjects, conversations, podcasts or projects

spark a little interest in you?

Write them down.

These tiny flickers are clues to what matters more to the new you.

The re -calibrating you.

\ Make two lists.

One for all the things that you never want to do again at work, and

another of what you might like to do a little more of at work in the future.

Put them somewhere safe for later.

They'll become your compass when this fog lifts.

And if you want to dive into more grief support, here are

some things that might help.

I'll include all links in the show notes.

I wrote an article with some practical recommendations when thinking about

work while in the throes of loss.

There's also a book called Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.

When I've been in deep grief, this short, easy to read book offered a beautifully

calm perspective on what really came.

And when you're beyond the fresh grief stage, I'd also recommend you consider

checking out a podcast called Grief Cast.

It's laughter and tears in equal measure, people processing

their loss openly without shame.

It's the podcast that made me look like an absolute loony.

As I drove around my local area, people would see me laughing

and crying simultaneously was stopped at traffic lights.

And my final recommendation is that you check out the Joy At Work

podcast episode where I interview Dipti Tait, a grief specialist.

Her practical recommendations are just golden.

Our listeners said something powerful.

Life's too short to do work, that doesn't matter, and they are absolutely spot on.

So if you're feeling a big hole in your heart from the loss of someone important

to you, give yourself a little time to work through the recalibration process.

Work isn't going away, it's just fading in importance for a little while.

The next chapter of your career story is in design mode behind the scenes.

Slowly.

When you're ready, there is more active work to do and many of the

other Joy at work Episodes will lead you there, but be patient and

kind to yourself in the meantime.