Transcripts
Right sizing your life so that yourself
can have the space that you need
Speaker:to flourish.
Speaker:Even though this is something a lot of
people crave and want is not something I
Speaker:want. It's not something I need anymore
and I truly think I'd be happier with
Speaker:something different.
Speaker:Hello and welcome back to
Remember Why You're Here,
Speaker:a podcast for seekers and sensitives
where you can relax, receive,
Speaker:reconnect to yourself and remember that
most important thing of all why you're
Speaker:here. I'm Asia Souler, author,
earth intuitive, teacher.
Speaker:And in this episode today,
Speaker:we're going to be talking about something
that I've been very passionate about
Speaker:in my life of late.
Speaker:And this is this concept
of right sizing your life,
Speaker:finding in your life the right container,
Speaker:the right size, the right method of being,
Speaker:finding in your life the right
container so that you can be in
Speaker:your fullness.
I'm so excited about this episode.
Speaker:I think it's perfect timing and
I think really embracing right
Speaker:sizing your life can change your
life. So before we get into it,
Speaker:I want to remind you that if you want to
go deeper into remembering why you are
Speaker:here,
Speaker:I would love to see you over on my
new Substack space called Remember
Speaker:Why You Are Here.
Speaker:This Subsect Space is taking
the podcast even deeper.
Speaker:It includes essays around these
video podcasts that includes
Speaker:expanded writings, expanded
episodes, end of the month,
Speaker:monthly recaps on the intuitive reading
from that month as well as personal
Speaker:shares from me, journal entries, poetry,
Speaker:deeper levels of my own self-expression
and self and teaching in the world.
Speaker:And so if you are interested
in going deeper into
Speaker:remembering why you are here, I'd
love to see you over on the Substack.
Speaker:It's been incredible so far.
It's really exceeded my
Speaker:expectations for being a space in which
people can really connect for being
Speaker:more relational, more humane, slower,
Speaker:deeper than I've really been able to
access on social media for quite a long
Speaker:time, if I'll be honest.
Speaker:And this space has just really
turned into something very special.
Speaker:And most of the things that are
in that space are entirely free.
Speaker:So it's entirely free to join that space
and I would just absolutely love to
Speaker:connect deeper with you there. So
again, that's remember why you're here,
Speaker:the Substack or aceular.substack.com.
Speaker:And I'd love to connect with you inside
of that space as we all continue to
Speaker:remember why we are here. Okay.
Speaker:So let's talk about right sizing your
life because I promise you this will
Speaker:change your life. So
when I say right sizing,
Speaker:this is not about necessarily making
things smaller. It's not even about making
Speaker:things bigger. It's not about
less. It's not about more.
Speaker:It's about finding what's right for you.
Speaker:So it's about finding what's right for
your soul, for your creative spirit,
Speaker:for your nervous system.
Speaker:What is that just right size
for the container of your life?
Speaker:And why I love this term
right sizing your life,
Speaker:I love it because there's no judgment.
Speaker:There's no judgment about whether right
sizing something your life means making
Speaker:it bigger, whether it means making it
smaller, it's about what's right for you.
Speaker:It's about what simply feels
better for you in your life.
Speaker:And this phrase came through for me and
I'll try to repeat it several times in
Speaker:this episode because I think
it's important to remember
that finding the right
Speaker:container means that you
can be in your fullness.
Speaker:I think this is especially true for
sensitive people. Finding the right
Speaker:container means that you
can be in your fullness.
Speaker:So for example, if the container of
something in our life is too big,
Speaker:we're going to be sort of
overstretching ourselves,
Speaker:overstretching our
capacity to try to fill it.
Speaker:We're not going to be able to feel the
fullness of ourselves. If it's too small,
Speaker:we're going to spill right
out of that, feel constricted.
Speaker:Finding the right container in your
life is about you being in your
Speaker:fullness. I say this because this
concept of right sizing your life,
Speaker:it's really about right sizing
your life in order to expand.
Speaker:So we live in a culture where
we often see bigger as better
Speaker:and we want more, more money,
a bigger house, more followers,
Speaker:a nicer car, whatever the things are.
Speaker:And we are very heavily
projected upon that this is
Speaker:where satisfaction lies, that
this is where achievement lies,
Speaker:that this is where happiness lies. But
right size is about recognizing that when
Speaker:we find the right container for us,
Speaker:the right size for us for whatever
it is, the money we're making,
Speaker:the house we're living in,
the amount of stuff we have,
Speaker:the amount of energy and time we
devote to certain relationships,
Speaker:that when we find the
right container for us,
Speaker:we can then expand.
Speaker:We have then this capacity to
expand in a way we didn't before.
Speaker:And so I just want to say
that expansion in this way,
Speaker:it's not about more reach, more
space or even more opportunities.
Speaker:It's about feeling held in our life,
Speaker:about feeling met in the size
of our life because when we are
Speaker:maintaining oversized containers, a lot
of the time when we right size things,
Speaker:we might actually be making them a
little smaller because when we maintain
Speaker:oversized containers instead
of helping us to expand,
Speaker:they flatten us and you might
have noticed this in your life. So
Speaker:sometimes we can't expand because the
container's too small or sometimes that
Speaker:container is too large and it
disperses us. So here's some example.
Speaker:Some examples we may not hear all that
often, but you have too many followers,
Speaker:you might lose a sense of intimate
connection. Too big of a house,
Speaker:that's too much to maintain.
Speaker:You don't have time for your
creative practice anymore.
Speaker:You have too many obligations.
Speaker:Even when there were things that you
were excited about at some point,
Speaker:you stop feeling creative again.
You stop having creative space.
Speaker:If you have too much emotional
availability for others,
Speaker:you don't have enough emotional
availability for your own self,
Speaker:your own experience, your own
feelings. Too many options,
Speaker:projects, and choices end up draining us.
Speaker:So bigger is not always
better for our own expansion.
Speaker:Sometimes we need to right size.
Speaker:Often our intellect comes in with
this concept of right sizing to say,
Speaker:"But this is successful," or,
"But I should be grateful," or,
Speaker:"This is what I wanted,
Speaker:so why aren't I enjoying it now?" But
often with this process of right sizing,
Speaker:which I'm going to walk you
through in this podcast episode,
Speaker:this process of right
sizing the body is saying,
Speaker:"I can't fully inhabit this.
" The body is saying,
Speaker:"This requires too much maintenance
or there's no room left for me.
Speaker:" So if you feel like you're
disappearing inside of what you built,
Speaker:it's time to right size your
life. And we see this, right?
Speaker:When we don't have enough containment,
Speaker:often expansion starts
to become destabilizing.
Speaker:It's like that expansion doesn't
feel like expansion anymore.
Speaker:It feels like I'm trying to manage
things that are outside of my control.
Speaker:And this is why our creativity will
often come back online after we commit
Speaker:ourselves to right sizing our life because
the energy that was previously spent
Speaker:on maintaining and oversized or
ill-fitting structure becomes available
Speaker:again. I'm going to repeat that
because I think we need to hear it.
Speaker:The energy that was previously spent
maintaining oversized or ill-fitting
Speaker:structures becomes available again.
Speaker:And this creates a kind of coherency for
us in our nervous system. This is when
Speaker:it's like our values and our energy and
our nervous system are all coming into
Speaker:coherence with one another so that way
it feels like all of us is moving in the
Speaker:same direction That energy can all move
in the same direction and that life
Speaker:stops feeling like something you have
to constantly override yourself in order
Speaker:to sustain. So if that
feels like you at all,
Speaker:like there's aspects of your life
that you're having to give too much or
Speaker:sustaining it feels too exhausting,
Speaker:then you're in the right place because
you're going to learn about how to right
Speaker:size your life.
Speaker:So I want to give a little example
here about right sizing your life.
Speaker:It's a little bit of a silly
example, but actually it's perfect.
Speaker:So I've been in this process
and so many ways of right
Speaker:sizing my life this year. I think that
there's a clarion call in general this
Speaker:year to be doing this for ourselves.
Speaker:A lot of us are being forced
to this precipice, but for me,
Speaker:how this all began was deciding
to get rid of my king size bed and
Speaker:get a queen instead. Okay, stay with me.
Speaker:So anytime I told people I was thinking
about getting rid of my king size bed,
Speaker:they'd be like, "Are you crazy?
Speaker:Why would you get rid of a king size
bed?" And I will say it was a very nice
Speaker:bed. It was not an inexpensive bed.
It was a really nice organic bed.
Speaker:I had a really beautiful
wooden frame for it.
Speaker:I had invested on all the nice sheets
for myself after I was postpartum so
Speaker:I could really be in that
experience and feel held.
Speaker:So not only would I be
getting rid of the bed,
Speaker:I'd be getting rid of the bed frame,
Speaker:I'd be getting rid of these beautiful
sheets that would no longer fit my bed,
Speaker:but I kept getting this feeling like
I just had to let it go and then
Speaker:something else would come into my life.
I had to downgrade quote unquote to
Speaker:this queen size bed. And I kept explaining
to people, "I'm not downgrading,
Speaker:I'm just right sizing." And there were
deeper emotional currents here up for me
Speaker:with this shift.
Speaker:I had gotten that bed before my daughter
was born and the idea that we might
Speaker:sleep in that bed as a family. About
a year after my daughter was born,
Speaker:her dad and I decided to transition
to co-parenting we uncoupled and so
Speaker:that bed represented a lot to me.
It held this energy in my life,
Speaker:an energy that wasn't a reality and
also that I didn't want to tend anymore.
Speaker:I was like, "I'm ready for a new era.
Speaker:I know this is a really nice bed."
Intellectually I can see that,
Speaker:but emotionally it was weighing
me down. So I got rid of it.
Speaker:I got rid of that bed.
I mean, also I'll be real,
Speaker:I haven't been sleeping
in that bed in years.
Speaker:My daughter and I
co-sleep now in her room.
Speaker:So it's just mostly a thing
where I wasn't even in that bed.
Speaker:It was just this giant heavy
reminder of what no longer
Speaker:was available in my life, what I
wasn't pouring energy into anymore,
Speaker:just basically something that didn't work.
Speaker:It also frankly didn't work in the space.
It was always too big for the space.
Speaker:I have a small little bedroom
and I just kind of decided to do
Speaker:it anyways because of the visions that
I had of what it would look like to be a
Speaker:family, what it would look like
to co-sleep, et cetera, et cetera,
Speaker:best laid plans, right? But I
decided I'm getting rid of it.
Speaker:So I got rid of it and I slept on
our little fold out queen guest
Speaker:bed on the floor of my room
and I was just happy as a
Speaker:duck in a duck pond. I cannot tell you
how much joy it brought me to get rid of
Speaker:that beautiful bed,
Speaker:that beautiful bed that went
to a beautiful couple who
are very much enjoying it
Speaker:now and just sleep on my little
queen size mattress in my bedroom.
Speaker:I was able to rearrange my whole
room in a way where I now feel
Speaker:cozier and more inspired
in that room than I
Speaker:ever have because now I have more space.
Speaker:I could rearrange things
the way I wanted it.
Speaker:I really could start to see the way in
which I wanted the energy to move through
Speaker:the space instead of thinking,
"Oh, it should be like this.
Speaker:" I gave myself permission to be
like, "How do I need it to be?
Speaker:How do I want it to be?
What feels inspiring for me?
Speaker:" And so it's a funny story in some ways,
Speaker:but it's also poignant and it just shows
you that something even as simple as
Speaker:I'm really getting this feeling like this,
Speaker:even though this is something
a lot of people crave and want,
Speaker:is not something I want.
It's not something I need
anymore and I truly think I'd
Speaker:be happier with something different.
So it's about right sizing your life.
Speaker:And this one move kicked off what has
been a whole season for me of asking
Speaker:myself this question, what needs
to be right sized in my life?
Speaker:What needs to be reviewed to be shifted?
Speaker:Where do I want to put my energy?
Speaker:Where am I using my energy to maintain
something that isn't actually bringing me
Speaker:joy?
Speaker:A right sized life is not the life
that looks biggest from the outside.
Speaker:It's the life your nervous
system can fully inhabit.
Speaker:It's the life your soul feels at home
within and this is what we're doing when
Speaker:we are right sizing our life.
Sensitives in particular,
Speaker:I find that we often need to let go of
things in order to feel spacious again.
Speaker:Now, as I said, this is going to
go against a lot of cultural norms,
Speaker:norms where we think bigger is
better, bigger house, more money,
Speaker:more productivity, bigger
audience, all the things,
Speaker:but we can feel inside of our body when
it's actually too much. When it's too
Speaker:big of a container,
Speaker:it's too much to manage where
our energy is getting dispersed.
Speaker:So what I often find for sensitive people
is that right sizing can often mean
Speaker:going for something that feels cozy or
going for something that feels more like
Speaker:you,
Speaker:making the choice to change
the container so that you can
Speaker:expand.
Speaker:And this is what ends up happening is
that we right size our life and only you
Speaker:will know what right sizing means for
you and what that's asking of you,
Speaker:but you right size your life and
then your energy can expand again.
Speaker:Sensitive people, we tend to come
into this world with a lot of energy.
Speaker:We have big energy, we have big emotions,
Speaker:we have big sensitive nervous
systems and we need space.
Speaker:We need to feel like we are held by the
spaces that we are in and right sizing
Speaker:your life will help you to do that.
So how do you go about right sizing your
Speaker:life? Because I promise you when you
do this, so much magic will happen.
Speaker:I cannot even believe this
one move of being like,
Speaker:"I'm going to get rid of this bed." How
much that has opened up for me in my
Speaker:life,
Speaker:I've started right sizing absolutely
everything and it's changing absolutely
Speaker:everything about my life and the
energy I have access to. Well,
Speaker:the first thing is to take inventory
in a given day and just notice when
Speaker:and where your energy drops. Think
about at the end of your day,
Speaker:go through your whole day and just see
where did my energy drop throughout the
Speaker:day Because that dropping energy is a
sign that the container is not the right
Speaker:size for you. So I used
to notice, for example,
Speaker:after I put my daughter
to bed in her room,
Speaker:I didn't want to go in my room. My energy
would drop as soon as I walked in that
Speaker:door.
Speaker:Some of that was the feng shui of how
the room was set up because it had to be
Speaker:set up because of that
darn large ping siz bed,
Speaker:but there was other
elements to it too, right?
Speaker:But I noticed that I would feel this
sort of despondency and anxiety every
Speaker:time I walked into my room. Now I
walk into my room. Oh man, I melt.
Speaker:My body's just like this, this is
exactly what I've wanted this whole time.
Speaker:So notice when your energy
drops throughout the day,
Speaker:that's often an indicator
that the container there is
not quite the right size.
Speaker:I want to just say here that not
all exhaustion means resistance,
Speaker:like you're just resisting something.
Speaker:Sometimes it's information telling you
that this container is not the right
Speaker:size. So where do you feel exhausted?
Where do you feel drained?
Speaker:Where do you feel overgiving?
Speaker:And to really ask yourself in whatever
the container the situation is,
Speaker:can I be myself inside this?
Speaker:Can I be myself inside this
and still maintain this size,
Speaker:whatever this size is, whether it's
too small or too large, whatever it is,
Speaker:can I still be myself inside of this?
Speaker:So here are some areas to look at in
your life and to ask yourself this
Speaker:question, can I be myself inside this?
Speaker:So first area is the stuff in your
house and the space in your house.
Speaker:This is like your home and the
possessions inside of your home.
Speaker:And so some things here to look at,
Speaker:often when we make changes
in our physical environment,
Speaker:it is a catalyst for these spiritual
emotional changes inside of us.
Speaker:So this is not just like spring cleaning,
Speaker:this is you literally making space in
your life for more of yourself. So here
Speaker:are some questions as you look around
your home, at your stuff, at your space,
Speaker:if you move tomorrow, what
would you not bother taking?
Speaker:Or do you know what's in
every closet and every drawer?
Speaker:If you don't know what's in there,
Speaker:there's probably stuff in there that you
could let go. And this is a funny one.
Speaker:So this is one that a couple of my friends
who are mothers have told me this is
Speaker:their test. So if it's a mom,
Speaker:it might resonate with you a
little more than if you're not.
Speaker:But I think either way it works good.
The test is if this got poop on it,
Speaker:would you keep it? This is a
very real reality for motherhood.
Speaker:If this got poop on it, would you
keep it or would you throw it out?
Speaker:That's a test of whether or not this
should still stay in your life. So we know
Speaker:through all the different
home and lifestyle influences
Speaker:out there, all the Marie condoing,
Speaker:the awareness that when we
change our physical surroundings,
Speaker:when we right size our physical existence,
Speaker:it really does open up so much
space and side of ourselves.
Speaker:So this is a big place to start.
Another place to look at is money.
Speaker:So this is your income, your spending,
Speaker:what it is that you have to
deal with in terms of resources.
Speaker:And so this will also help you
understand where do you need to right
Speaker:size your spending, your expenses,
Speaker:what you're investing in order
to maintain that resource.
Speaker:So here's some questions here.
If your income dropped 20%,
Speaker:what would you cut first?What
would be the first thing to go?
Speaker:That's really important information.
Speaker:Are your biggest expenses
in life buying you joy?
Speaker:This is important to think about.
Speaker:And sometimes we have big expenses that
don't feel very joyful. Maybe we have
Speaker:health expenses that are
really immense for us,
Speaker:but we absolutely need to do
that. But to ask yourself,
Speaker:outside of those essential things, the
big expenses you're making in your life,
Speaker:are they bringing you joy
or is it an obligation?
Speaker:And then what do you actually need to
have in your life to be sustainable?
Speaker:And I think that this question's
really important right now.
Speaker:I think a lot of us are asking this
question as at least here in the States we
Speaker:are in a recession.
Speaker:I know a lot of my friends are really
reckoning with finances with money and
Speaker:being like, "Okay, I have less." And
what does that mean to have less?
Speaker:And there's actually this space in which
sometimes going into the place where
Speaker:you have to review, you have to go
over things with a fine tooth comb,
Speaker:you have to be conservative,
Speaker:you have to really do that
work of asking yourself like,
Speaker:"What do I actually need?
What is actually fulfilling for me?
Speaker:" can really help liberate some of
our creativity and help us see what
Speaker:is really most essential
for us in our life.
Speaker:And what is it that you're having to do
to maintain what you see as a certain
Speaker:income level that is really draining you,
Speaker:that is actually taking more away
from you than you would have if
Speaker:you were able to sustain yourself and
see that there's sustainability at
Speaker:other levels of being. Okay.
Speaker:The next category here is time.
Speaker:So I'm kind of moving in what I see as
levels of importance specifically for
Speaker:sensitive people. So now we're going
into an even deeper level of importance,
Speaker:which is time. So this is scheduling
commitments, your career and this is like,
Speaker:what are you doing with your time?
Speaker:What are you committing
yourself to with your time?
Speaker:And so some questions to
ask yourself here are,
Speaker:what would you do if you had five more
free hours this week? What would you do?
Speaker:If you just were magically
given five free hours this week,
Speaker:what would you do with that time?
Speaker:Or if you look at your
calendar from last week,
Speaker:look at what you did last week and how
many of those things would you do again?
Speaker:If you had the choice,
Speaker:how many of those things would
you actively choose to do again?
Speaker:And to ask yourself too, what
do you look forward to in life?
Speaker:What are the things that you're looking
forward to that you're committed to
Speaker:time-wise versus what are the
things that you quietly dread?
Speaker:And that term quietly dread was one I
wanted to underline in here because I
Speaker:think so many of us sensitives,
we make commitments with our time,
Speaker:with our energy that
we're quietly dreading.
Speaker:And I have to say that we
don't need to be doing that,
Speaker:that actually there's another way to live
where we are really only saying yes to
Speaker:outside of the necessary
obligations of our life,
Speaker:saying yes to what
really feels good to us,
Speaker:what we really want to do with our time.
Your time is precious.
Speaker:It's not infinite when you're in this
body and on this planet, it's finite.
Speaker:And so part of right sizing your life
is recognizing what do you want to give
Speaker:your time to? What do you
want to give your energy to?
Speaker:What is it that's actually important for
your own soul's fulfillment and growth
Speaker:and making the space for that
by right sizing other things.
Speaker:When we say no to other things,
Speaker:we end up opening up pockets of space
and time that we need in our life,
Speaker:especially important this month as I
shared in the intuitive reading for this
Speaker:month that there's a big creative
energy on offer for us this month.
Speaker:The opportunity to really follow our
creative impulse to step into new and
Speaker:deeper layers of authentic
self-expression and asking yourself like,
Speaker:"What do I need to right size in
my life so that I can have energy,
Speaker:time and space for that? " And often part
of our brain will come in and be like,
Speaker:"Well, I can't do that because
of this or because of that.
Speaker:" And I like to kind of like follow
those lines of thoughts until they dead
Speaker:end. "You can't do that. Why? "And
then what? And then what will happen?
Speaker:And then what? And then what?
Speaker:And I keep asking myself that question
until often I get to the point of like,
Speaker:and then I'd still be me and then I'd
still have this impulse and then I'd still
Speaker:want to do this thing in life and I still
would feel unfulfilled if I didn't do
Speaker:it. So why don't I just do
it? Why don't I just do it?
Speaker:And so ask yourself that
question. And then what?
Speaker:If part of your brain is saying," I can't
do this because I can't set that time
Speaker:boundary. I can't take my energy or my
attention away for that. "And then what?
Speaker:Because what you're doing is you are
right sizing your life to fit the shape of
Speaker:your own soul.
Speaker:You are making the container of
your life right size so that you can
Speaker:fully expand so that you can reach the
kind of fulfillment that you are here to
Speaker:experience. So the deepest layer in here,
Speaker:I'm going to go I think for sensitives,
Speaker:this is the deepest layer
is often relationships.
Speaker:So this goes hand in hand
with time, but relationships,
Speaker:social obligations, community,
those kinds of commitments,
Speaker:oftentimes these are spaces where we
don't even realize that this is not the
Speaker:right shape or form or size for our lives.
Speaker:So to really ask yourself this question,
Speaker:especially as a sensitive and an empath,
Speaker:which relationships leave me feeling
energized versus subtly drained?
Speaker:And that subtly part's important.
Sometimes it might feel overwhelmingly
Speaker:drained, but subtly drained.
Pay attention to that.
Speaker:That's your body communicating to you.
Speaker:Are there any friendships or other
relationships that you're maintaining that
Speaker:are out of obligation or history?
Speaker:Do you have an active connection with
this person? Does it feel emergent?
Speaker:Is this adding containers to
your life where you can expand,
Speaker:where you can be your authentic self,
Speaker:or is this more a sense of obligation or
shared a history that you're showing up
Speaker:for this and there's no judgment here.
And when you right size your life,
Speaker:you are also right sizing the
energy that you're putting into your
Speaker:relationships. And when you get that
size right, that container right,
Speaker:it's like not only can you expand the
relationships that are really meant to
Speaker:flourish in your life,
they will expand as well,
Speaker:including calling in new relationships,
people who can really meet you,
Speaker:can really see you and will really get
a kick out of your authentic self. So
Speaker:on that note,
Speaker:is there someone that you have been
wanting to spend more time with?
Speaker:Maybe that someone is you. Have you
been needing more time for yourself,
Speaker:for your creativity?
Just for quiet listening.
Speaker:Right sizing our life is about finding
the right container for our soul in this
Speaker:life,
Speaker:for giving ourselves a container
in this lifetime where we can fully
Speaker:expand.
Speaker:And so I really think energy
and time are important,
Speaker:all those things I named are important,
Speaker:but relationships are often a
key for us sensitives because
Speaker:behind a lot of the ways in which we
are a lot of the other categories,
Speaker:so behind for example,
Speaker:money and behind time and
behind stuff in our home are
Speaker:relationships. It's like,
Speaker:what is it that's the unsaid obligation
I feel inside of my relationship to
Speaker:my partner or my children
or my perceived audience or
Speaker:this old childhood friend or the church
community that I'm a part of. It's like
Speaker:all of these containers behind them is
really a relationship or a series of
Speaker:relationships and
relationships as sensitives.
Speaker:It's both an area where we
really profoundly are skilled
Speaker:and it's also our greatest
challenge. It's both.
Speaker:And so right sizing the relationships
that you have in your life
Speaker:will open up huge potential
for you in your existence.
Speaker:So I'm going to give you a very
personal recent example of this,
Speaker:that there is someone that I was spending
a lot of time with and I really adore
Speaker:this person. I really
enjoy being with them,
Speaker:but something inside of me just kept
saying like, "Asia, you need more time.
Speaker:You need more time for yourself.
Speaker:You just need to express that you need
more time for yourself." And it was so
Speaker:hard for me. It rubs up against all
my conditioning to just be like, "Ah,
Speaker:I know you're really going to feel
super disappointed and upset by this,
Speaker:but I just simply cannot spend as much
time with you. " And what has been so
Speaker:cool about this experience, because
here's the things for sensitive people,
Speaker:it's going to be a lot easier
for us to get rid of stuff,
Speaker:to downgrade our house or
to upgrade whatever it is
you need to do to right size
Speaker:your life. It's going to be a
lot easier for us to do that.
Speaker:Relationships are often the
hardest space for us to right size.
Speaker:So because it's so hard and there's so
much energy that's often involved in
Speaker:setting that boundary,
Speaker:what happens on the other side will be
an even bigger energy of being met by
Speaker:change expansion and possibility in your
life. So here's what happened for me.
Speaker:This still blows my mind. So I
set this boundary of time like,
Speaker:"I can actually only spend
X amount of time with you.
Speaker:" What ended up happening was
because that person respected
Speaker:my time boundary,
Speaker:they heard it and I was then allowed
inside of myself I felt then I was allowed
Speaker:to have more space for myself or my
creative process for what I needed to do
Speaker:in life. What ended up happening is that
that relationship completely flourished
Speaker:has just opened up in ways like beyond
my imagining because I was willing to
Speaker:set that boundary to right size
my life to say, "Hey, no judgment.
Speaker:I love you and I love the
time we spend together,
Speaker:but I need this particular container
right now in my life." And if that
Speaker:person hadn't been willing
to hear me in that,
Speaker:that probably would've been a
different story. But they were,
Speaker:they were able to hear that.
Speaker:They were able to give me that space
and what has ended up happening is a
Speaker:gigantic flourishing in our connection
as well as a flourishing within me
Speaker:in my general sense of wellbeing
and direction in the world
Speaker:because I got feedback from the world
of what it actually feels like to be
Speaker:inside of a right size container, that
it's okay for me to set those boundaries,
Speaker:to really make my life be what
I need it to be in order to
Speaker:flourish because oftentimes
for sensitives right sizing,
Speaker:it means taking up space for yourself.
It means shaping your life,
Speaker:right sizing your life so that yourself
can have the space that you need
Speaker:to flourish.
Speaker:And I think there's really an invitation
here to take up space in a way that you
Speaker:weren't before. When
we right size our life,
Speaker:it allows our spirit to expand
in the way it so deeply desires
Speaker:and you will know that it's right.
So when we say the word right,
Speaker:it's really what's right for you, right?
Speaker:No one can tell you what's right
for you and right sizing your life,
Speaker:but you'll know what's right because
you'll feel comfortable to expand again.
Speaker:Now notice I said comfortable to expand.
Speaker:I'm not just saying comfortable because
sometimes being in a too tight space can
Speaker:feel very comfortable or sometimes being
in a big space that's we're used to
Speaker:maintaining can feel comfortable to a
part of ourselves. You feel comfortable to
Speaker:expand. You feel comfortable
to be more of yourself.
Speaker:It opens up new layers of
possibility and perspective
Speaker:for you in your life.
Speaker:It's like me sleeping on
that mattress in my bedroom.
Speaker:Suddenly I had all these ideas of how
I could redo the bedroom with really no
Speaker:money at all,
Speaker:but redo the bedroom so that
it felt more like a cozy place,
Speaker:more like a place that was mine and
it has really transformed my life.
Speaker:So you'll know that it's right because
you'll feel that sense that you can
Speaker:expand, that there's
more possibility here.
Speaker:And the goal here is simply aliveness,
Speaker:to feel more alive in your life.
Speaker:This is why I've had so many friends
that have moved out of whatever big house
Speaker:they were trying to maintain and into
their vans or into a tiny house or
Speaker:have consciously walked away from
big careers and in fields that
Speaker:they frankly weren't passionate about
anymore to become a gardener or to become
Speaker:an herbalist or to become a poet because
it was the right size for their soul.
Speaker:It was the right size for their life
and do they make less money? Yeah,
Speaker:probably, but are they
happier? Are they more alive?
Speaker:Do they feel more comfortable
to expand? Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker:And this is the whole point
of right sizing our life.
Speaker:And this is super interesting to
me. Once we right size our life,
Speaker:once you do give yourself
permission to do this,
Speaker:we will sometimes then end up making
different choices, which is so cool.
Speaker:It's like if you were like, for example,
in this relationship example, okay,
Speaker:I need more time and
space from this person,
Speaker:and then you take that time and space
and all of a sudden then you're like,
Speaker:wait, I actually do want
to spend that day with you.
Speaker:I do want to meet up after school
today. I do want to, whatever it is,
Speaker:get the kids together on a Sunday.
It will open up actually your ability to
Speaker:make choices that feel more
authentically aligned with you.
Speaker:And sometimes those choices are the
opposite of what you might've made before,
Speaker:but it's because now you have the
space to really feel yourself,
Speaker:the space to really ground in yourself,
Speaker:you have the right container
in your life for your soul.
Speaker:And so it's this beautiful dance where
you get to delight and surprise yourself
Speaker:the more you right size your life
to meet you where you are at now
Speaker:and everything that flows into our life,
even when it looks like downsizing,
Speaker:even when it looks like restriction,
even when it looks like recession,
Speaker:it's here to help us right size within the
Speaker:existence that is now,
Speaker:to help us meet ourselves now
and find ways to be alive in our
Speaker:current circumstances.
Speaker:And this is exactly what right sizing
your life is about because the magic of
Speaker:right sizing is that when you find the
right containers for yourself in this
Speaker:lifetime, you connect with
the container of your soul,
Speaker:the wider oversoul that
is here to hold you,
Speaker:this part of you that is wider than
you, that sees the bigger picture,
Speaker:that needs the space to land on this
earth and express itself fully and you
Speaker:connect to that when you are willing
to claim a right sized life for
Speaker:yourself and for your life.
So if this is landing
Speaker:for you,
Speaker:if there's something in your life that
you feel like this has all been a message
Speaker:coming through me to you to say,
yes, do it, right size that thing,
Speaker:I would love to hear from you.
Speaker:You can leave me a voice message over
on my website at AsiaSooler/remember or
Speaker:you can join me over on the Remember
Why You Are Here Substack and leave a
Speaker:message over there on this
post or really anywhere.
Speaker:Let me know how this is landing for you,
Speaker:what you're ready to right size in
your life. I will say in a very honest,
Speaker:open and authentic way,
Speaker:me moving to Substack was part
of this whole era of me right
Speaker:sizing my life. I'm not kidding
when I say this one bed change,
Speaker:I just started then right
sizing everything and Subseq
has been a part of that
Speaker:for me. I found that being on Instagram
in particular where I had over
Speaker:a hundred thousand followers and that
space has been so supportive to me and so
Speaker:essential to me and my growth,
Speaker:but I found that it wasn't
the right size for me anymore,
Speaker:that I wasn't able to show up
with the fullness of myself,
Speaker:that I felt fragmented
when I went on there,
Speaker:that a part of me felt like I was
withholding some aspect of myself in my
Speaker:sharing there. And I just without
judgment, without being like, oh,
Speaker:this space is wrong or I'm wrong, because
neither one of those things are true,
Speaker:was able to just embrace this is just
not the right size for me in my life.
Speaker:I need to right size. I need to move
into a space that's more intimate,
Speaker:that's more relational, that's more
earnest, more authentic, slower, deeper,
Speaker:and that's exactly what Substack is.
So if you'd like to join me over in that
Speaker:space and go deeper into remembering
why you are here, I would love, love,
Speaker:love to see you there.
Speaker:So I am sending you so many blessings as
we continue to walk through this month
Speaker:of creative impulse,
Speaker:of authentic expression of right
sizing our life so that our soul can
Speaker:expand in the ways it's
meant to in this life.
Speaker:And as you move through the sun
that is rising in this month,
Speaker:as per our intuitive
reading for this month,
Speaker:as you move into this new era of
really finding the containers and the
Speaker:overall structure of a life that meets
you, that helps you feel creative,
Speaker:that helps you be in touch with your own
authentic self may also remind you of
Speaker:that most essential thing,
Speaker:that thing that is so helpful to
connect to and that is remembering
Speaker:why you're here.
