Let's face it: Survival mode feels like a badge of honor until you realize you've been wearing it for years—and it's become your prison. Robyn Tanner knows this intimately. Rare infection that nearly killed her. Thirteen surgeries. Learning to walk multiple times. Living homeless in her gym with her kids, hiding it from clients, cleaning up yoga mats and blow-up mattresses before 5:15 AM classes.

Here's the thing: Robyn didn't just survive. She's reinvented herself multiple times—corporate career to gym owner to high-performance coach to full-time writer. And at 48, she burned it all down again to chase her childhood dream. Not because she had it figured out. Because she refused to keep living in survival mode pretending it was living.

This episode exposes the survival-mode-as-identity trap that keeps women stuck wearing their rock bottom like armor. Robyn breaks down the difference between wanting to be ready and actually being ready, why reinvention will annihilate you before it rebuilds you, and what the machete mentality really means when you're clearing a path nobody else believes in.

You're not broken. You're just done being the person who got you here. This is your reckoning. Yet.

 IS THIS EPISODE FOR YOU?

Listen if you're:

✓ Stuck wearing survival mode as your identity instead of recognizing it was just a chapter

✓ A fighter, a warrior, a "get shit done" woman who's starting to realize the hustle is killing you

✓ Going through another major life reinvention and feeling like you're being annihilated

✓ Living in the "golden handcuffs" of a stable career that's making you miserable

✓ Tired of drug-dealing yourself (lowering prices, over-giving, over-delivering out of desperation)

✓ Ready to hear the truth about what reinvention actually costs—and why it's worth it

✓ Curious about the machete mentality: find a way, make a way, there's always a way

✓ Done living other people's version of success and ready to build your own

This is for you if you're in the middle of becoming—messy, uncertain, and refusing to quit.

WHAT GETS EXPOSED

The survival mode badge of honor trap where you wear "I made it through" like armor—but you're not supposed to stay there, it's just a chapter you pass through, not your permanent identity

The "drug dealing yourself" pattern entrepreneurs don't talk about: lowering prices, free challenges, over-giving out of desperation when you need to make rent—and how it destroys your self-esteem and doesn't even work

Why reinvention will annihilate you before it rebuilds you: The very thing you're trying to reinvent is the thing that will absolutely annihilate you—and that's where most people quit, right when they're on their knees crying with snot running down their face

The golden handcuffs keeping women stuck: Making bank in corporate but drowning in your own life—miserable health, miserable marriage, hiding it on the inside while performing success on the outside

Wanting to be ready vs. actually being ready: When you're straddling worlds between old identity and new, one leg still in the old life trying to protect yourself—and how you'll know when you're actually done (spoiler: it's not sexy, it's that dull "I'm done with this shit" moment)

BURKE BOMBS

💣 "Survival mode—it's so easy to stay there. It's so easy to wear it as a badge of honor. You are not meant to stay in survival mode. We tend to sit in it and use it as our story for life. It's supposed to just be a chapter."

💣 "The very thing that you're trying to reinvent is the thing that is going to absolutely annihilate you. And I think that's where people quit. When you're on your knees and you're crying, praying, screaming and the snot's coming out of your nose."

💣 "Don't drug deal yourself. Stop taking off your clothes for free. We think we have to give this for free and that for free. That's just not a way to operate your self-esteem."

QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS EPISODE

How do you know if you're stuck in survival mode? You're stuck if you're still wearing survivor mentality as a badge of honor, using "I made it through" as your identity instead of recognizing it was temporary. Signs: You pride yourself on how much you can carry alone, you're chronically busy but not actually building toward anything, you can't rest without guilt, and you tell your survival story like it defines you. Robyn's shift: Recognizing her survivor self as a team member in the backseat—not driving anymore, but available when needed. Survival mode is a chapter, not the whole book. Jump to: [01:00] for the survival mode breakdown

What does reinvention actually cost? Reinvention isn't glamorous. It's lonely, isolating, requires massive downtime and quiet (which Gen X equates with laziness). It doesn't happen overnight or all at once—it's in very small doses of your patience being tested again and again. The thing you're reinventing will annihilate you first. People you thought were ride-or-dies won't come with you. You'll lose friendships, community, identity. But on the other side: you get to become the person you say you are. The cost is everything familiar. The prize is yourself. Jump to: [20:29] for what reinvention actually looks like

How do you stop "drug dealing yourself" as an entrepreneur? Drug dealing yourself = lowering prices out of desperation, doing too much for free, over-giving and over-delivering because you need the work or want validation. It makes things worse—clients don't show up, don't appreciate it, don't invest their effort. Robyn did this for years (free challenges, $99 offers) until she realized: charge higher ticket for people willing to invest. Your self-esteem suffers when you operate from low standards. Set your price based on your worth, not your fear. If someone doesn't invest, that's data—not a reason to drop your standards. Jump to: [08:35] for the drug dealing breakdown

What's the difference between wanting to be ready and actually being ready? Wanting to be ready: Your brain says you want change, but your identity is still straddling worlds—one leg in the new life, one leg in the old trying to protect what got you here. Actually being ready: Not sexy. It's that dull, basement-floor moment where you say "I am done with this shit" and you mean it. No more negotiating. No more "but what if." You're just done. That's when reinvention can actually happen—when you're willing to let the old version die. Jump to: [31:32] for the ready vs. actually ready breakdown

CONVERSATION BREAKDOWN WITH TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] - Meet Robyn Tanner: Fighter, warrior, rebel, line leader—all about the grit, guts, and God energy

[01:00] - The survival mode trap: "It's so easy to wear it as a badge of honor. You're not supposed to stay there. It's supposed to just be a chapter."

[02:56] - How survival mode haunts you: Recognizing she's along for the ride, on your team—not someone you abandon

[08:35] - Drug dealing yourself: Lowering prices out of desperation, doing too much for free—and why it destroys your self-esteem

[12:43] - The hardest part of admitting you're betraying yourself: Facing your giants

[13:27] - The silent war: "There's a restlessness inside you that doesn't let up. You know you're betraying yourself because it's in your gut."

[17:27] - When a woman is done: "Done is below angry. You're angry and you have rage and grief that you haven't purged."

[20:29] - What reinvention actually costs: "The reckoning is your revival. The deconstruction came to revive you."

[21:23] - "Reinvention ain't glamorous. It's very lonely."

[23:38] - Where people quit: "The very thing you're trying to reinvent is the thing that will absolutely annihilate you. That's where people quit—when you're on your knees crying with snot running down your face."

[27:36] - The sweet spot: Finding the stretch that's juicy but doesn't make your body panic

[31:32] - Wanting to be ready vs. being ready: "I wanted to be ready but I wasn't. My identity was still straddling worlds—one leg in the old life trying to protect what got me here."

[33:30] - "When you're actually ready, it's not sexy. It's that dull moment where you're like, 'I am done with this shit.'"

[34:06] - The golden handcuffs: Stuck in corporate making bank but drowning—miserable health, marriage, everything

[41:55] - The infection that changed everything: Rare infection 11 years ago—septic, ICU, misdiagnosed for six weeks, almost died

[43:35] - Emergency surgery, removed part of spine, learning to walk again—kids were 3 and 5, marriage falling apart beneath the surface

[44:20] - Living double life: Big house, fancy car, two kids—but beneath it all, lying, betraying marriage and herself

[44:45] - "When I almost died, that part of me did die. I came out completely different."

[45:30] - Six months after hospital: Separation, divorce, stepmom died, 10 major factors—completely wrecked

[48:32] - At lawyer's table in mediation: "You're gonna have to work at Walmart. And I'm like, the fuck I am."

[51:32] - Living homeless in the gym: Got evicted from house, lived in gym for six months on yoga mats and blow-up mattresses

[52:11] - Hiding it from clients: Cleaning up before 5:15 AM class, clients saying "have a great night"—nowhere to go

[53:22] - Getting kids ready for school in the gym, celebrating birthday there—"Really humbling but I'm fighting the old me"

[54:05] - Car gets repossessed from gym parking lot: "One blow after another"

[54:36] - Six months later: Called house meeting with all clients and told them everything—"Their support was phenomenal"

[55:51] - Now: Five-bedroom home on wildlife preserve, everyone has own bedrooms, no more hiding

[56:11] - "I spot the blind spots from a mile away. I see where women shrink and silence themselves. I did it for seven years."

[57:49] - "Every day it's a fight. I saw my family stay in survivor mode and I refused to give up on myself."

[58:11] - Sober leadership: "I've been faithful to myself for almost nine years now. Once I quit something, I quit it."

[67:44] - Final wisdom: "Find a way to make it happen. Get my book The Machete Mentality."

[68:55] - "Do a little bit every day. She knows exactly what the damn thing is. Do the damn thing."

[69:55] - "Fight for it. You're gonna have to fight for it. You're worth the fight."

ABOUT MICHELLE BURKE

Michelle Burke is the bestselling author of Hot Mess Magic, keynote speaker, and host of Hot Mess Magic podcast.

She doesn't do curated advice or toxic positivity. She tells the truth that gut-punches you awake.

Hot Mess Magic was born from the fire—the breakdowns, the unraveling, the full-blown identity crises. The kind that crack you open and refuse to let you go back to who you were.

This isn't self-help. It's self-trust.

Connect with Michelle:

📧 Newsletter: https://michelleaburke.substack.com/

📱 Instagram: @michelleaburke

🌐 Instagram: @hotmessmagicmedia

📖 Book: Hot Mess Magic

Work with Michelle:

💬 Expansion Sessions (one-on-one guidance for trusting yourself again. Only 20 spots available till Jan. 31, 2026)

🎤 Speaking

ABOUT THE GUEST

Robyn Tanner is the author of The Machete Mentality, ghostwriter, and former high-performance coach who's lived through 13 surgeries, homelessness with her kids, and multiple complete life reinventions.

Her authority doesn't come from a linear success story. It comes from the fire: A rare infection that nearly killed her 11 years ago, removed part of her spine, left her with a dead leg and chronic pain. Learning to walk again while her marriage fell apart. Living a double life—gym rock star on the outside, drowning in lies and betrayal on the inside. The divorce, the move across states with no money, starting a business from a dirt field.

Then: Living homeless in her gym with her kids for six months. Hiding yoga mats and blow-up mattresses before 5:15 AM clients arrived. Car repossessed from the parking lot. $30K in back rent. Abusive relationship. Rock bottom after rock bottom—and refusing to quit.

Robyn's path wasn't pretty. But she built a multiple six-figure gym business, became a high-performance coach, trained with Brendon Burchard and Anthony Trucks. Then at 48, she burned it all down again to become a full-time writer—her childhood dream. She now ghostwrites for clients and helps women tell their stories without bypassing the hard parts.

She's the first in her family to graduate college, publish a book, break generational chains. She doesn't write theory. She writes receipts.

Connect with Robyn Tanner:

📱 Instagram: @robyntanner

🌐 Website: robyntanner.com

📖 Book: The Machete Mentality (available on Amazon)

KEY REALIZATIONS FROM THIS EPISODE

On survival mode as identity: "It's so easy to stay there. It's so easy to wear it as a badge of honor. You are not meant to stay in survival mode. We tend to sit in it and use it as our story for life. And it's supposed to just be a chapter." - Robyn

On drug dealing yourself: "Don't drug deal yourself. Stop taking off your clothes for free. We think we have to give this for free and that for free. I think that's a bunch of BS. That's just not a way to operate your self-esteem." - Robyn

On what reinvention costs: "The very thing that you're trying to reinvent is the thing that is going to absolutely annihilate you. And I think that's where people quit. It's when you're on your knees and you're crying, praying, screaming and the snot's coming out of your nose and you have the ugly red face cry." - Robyn

On being actually ready vs. wanting to be ready: "I wanted to be ready but I wasn't ready. My identity was still straddling worlds. There was part of me ready to take the step and believe I was worthy. And there was still a leg in the old world going, I'm not leaving this one till you prove it to me." - Robyn

On facing yourself: "We all have this restlessness inside. I call it the silent war. There's a restlessness that doesn't let up. You're doing things you don't want to do anymore. You have to face your giants—basically just facing yourself, being brave enough to face yourself." - Robyn

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH NOBODY'S SAYING

Survival mode is not meant to be your permanent address.

You wear "I made it through" like armor. You pride yourself on carrying it all alone, on being the strong one, the fighter. But that badge of honor has become your prison. Survival mode is a chapter you pass through—not the whole book. Robyn spent years there until she realized: her survivor self is on her team, not driving anymore.

Reinvention will annihilate you before it rebuilds you.

Not overnight. Not glamorous. You'll be on your knees with snot running down your face, ugly crying, screaming. The very thing you're trying to reinvent is the thing that will absolutely wreck you. Most people quit right there. Robyn lived in her gym with her kids for six months, car repossessed, $30K in back rent. That's what clearing the path looks like when you refuse to quit.

Drug dealing yourself destroys your self-esteem—and it doesn't even work.

Lowering prices out of desperation. Free challenges. Over-giving and over-delivering hoping someone will value you. Robyn did this for years—and clients still didn't show up, didn't appreciate it, didn't do the work. Why? Because when people don't invest money, they don't invest effort. Your low standards hurt you and don't help them. Charge what you're worth or don't do it at all.

The golden handcuffs are killing you from the inside.

Corporate paycheck, stable career, making bank—but your health is shit, your marriage is miserable, you're drowning internally while performing success externally. Robyn sees women stuck here all the time: afraid to let go of security even though they're dying in their own lives. The river is trying to evolve you. You can cling to the rock or let it carry you. But that river will pop you off eventually.

Wanting to be ready and being ready are not the same thing.

You can think you're ready. Your brain can say you want change. But if your identity is still straddling worlds—one leg in the new life, one leg protecting the old—you're not ready yet. Actually ready isn't sexy. It's that dull basement-floor moment where you say "I am done with this shit" and mean it. No more negotiating. Just done.

You're not broken. You never were. You're just done being the person who got you here. This is your reckoning. Yet.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

The Machete Mentality by Robyn Tanner (Amazon) - Find a way, make a way—the book on clearing your path when nobody believes in you

Affiliate link - we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you

Brendon Burchard - High-performance coaching and training (mentioned as influence on Robyn's journey)

Anthony Trucks - Identity shift and transformation work (Robyn trained with him)

Face Your Giants Method - Robyn's approach: Being brave enough to face yourself without bypassing the hard parts

Sober Leadership - Robyn's term for living in full integrity: no lying, no cheating yourself, no stepping out of alignment

LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Website

If this episode cracked something open—if you're in survival mode pretending it's living or midway through reinventing yourself and feeling annihilated—subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And if you're ready to stop wearing your rock bottom like armor and start clearing the path nobody else believes in? Leave a review. Tell us what this conversation exposed for you.

Your mess is your medicine. Your breakdown is your breakthrough.

Welcome to Hot Mess Magic.

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