E64 - Saving Our Community - The Antidote for Anger with Guest Robert Dean Bell

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Hello everyone.

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And welcome to a

prisoner's part in podcast.

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I'm your host Meechie J.

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I'm sure everyone has heard about the

latest incident of a shooting in Georgia.

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This is where a young person.

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Took upon himself to, kill a

number of his fellow classmates.

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What is all of us stemming from?

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I say it's anger.

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We're seeing so much anger in our society.

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We see it in road rage.

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We see it in offices.

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We see it at home.

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Work.

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We're see it.

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Our church.

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We're seeing it in ourselves.

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We're just seeing it everywhere.

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And this is what leads

to why a lot of people.

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Are in prison.

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And when even when they get out,

they're still having this anger.

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So, what do we do about this?

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That is what a prisoner's

pardon podcast is all about.

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It's about a pardon?

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A pardon is an act of forgiveness.

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And that's how we counteract anger.

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We do it with forgiveness.

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I'm pretty sure most of us have been told.

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We need to forget.

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But.

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Did they tell you how to do it?

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Did they explain to you that.

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Forgiven someone doesn't necessarily

mean that there's no accountability.

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We're going to be talking about how

to forgive someone for one of the most

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hardest things to forgive a person for.

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Today we're going to

have as a guest is Mr.

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Robert Dean.

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, he is a Milwaukee native.

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He is a, a O D a counselor.

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He's actually now a pastor as well.

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He's a husband, father.

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Business owner, and now he is an author

and we're going to be talking to him

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about his book because he does talk about

forgiveness . Welcome pastor bell.

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How you doing?

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Me I'm doing great.

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I have you now on the show with

me to talk about your new book.

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80 Barry white voices, I want you

to go into detail about the title.

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You guys, I have the book and I've already

read it and I just highly recommend it to

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the audience because it's going to give

you a good insight , just a lot of things

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in life and how you can overcome it.

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But let's tell us more about you.

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Oh, well, my, my name is Robert bill.

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Like you said, I'm born and raised here.

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, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at

the moment, I'm a pastor.

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I'm the pastor of light church,

Milwaukee here on 56 and burlock.

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I'm a proud and happy husband, uh,

Latrice bill, , seven children.

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Um, just, a new life.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know it's a new life

because I read your book.

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I went through everything and, , yes,

it's definitely a new life and looking

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at you now, most people wouldn't think

that you've been there, but I'm here

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to tell you, no, that's not the case.

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Yes.

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But tell us more about.

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Why did you name the book

80 Barry White Voices?

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I named the book 80 Barry White

Voices because it is what I heard.

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It was the voice of God

that, that changed my life.

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And it's really not giving it away.

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You can still get the book and

you're gonna be like blown away.

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But it was, it was what I heard from God.

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And it sounded like.

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80 barely white voices and

everybody know barely white.

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He was a singer.

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He had a real deep voice, you know,

and I'm talking about it was 80, but

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it was a gentle 80, very white voices

that I heard that changed my life.

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Hmm.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Tell us more about, , I know we

don't want to give the book away,

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but, , we had a tragic thing happen.

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You're leaving.

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It was your younger brother.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Cause you're the oldest, right?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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And he got killed and you had to go

to court and you spoke some about

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forgiving the killer of your brother

, just enlighten us a little bit more.

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What led to that?

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Oh, well, I was in prison.

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I was getting out two weeks later and

you know, when you go on a journey, see

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if you can just keep being a knucklehead

or you can get to catch yourself.

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But I've always been a cat that

was curious about books and getting

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around people that were knowledgeable.

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I always hunt around the older crowd,

even though I was street, straight street.

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Um, this is one of those times.

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It's like, man, I gotta

get my head together, man.

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And I was getting out two weeks later.

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I remember I was getting out February

28th and my brother was murdered

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February 12th and it happened.

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And this is when I was like coming

deep out of the game, you know, things

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were changing in my life, um, for

a point because I went back, but.

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At that moment in my life, God had

been speaking to me like I just didn't

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want to be in the streets no more.

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I was like, I want to be a grown man.

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I want to do grown man things.

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And once I get, I got that news

February 12th, they called me,

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um, to the office that night.

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You know, usually they wait, they

don't tell you nothing because

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they don't want no riots to

take place and nobody go crazy.

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So they'll wait till everybody

go to sleep or whatever.

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But this particular day, it was early.

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Time and they called me down and said,

um, that my brother was murdered, you

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know, uh, at a, at a local, at a bar.

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And there was over a girl, the other

guy, girl liked it, my brother.

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And it was, it was crazy.

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It was just, it made me so mad, but

once I, uh, but I just stayed positive.

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Did I want to kill dude?

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Did I want to go back to the old life?

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Absolutely.

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But it was like, God had his

hands on me and, um, I got out.

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Then they, I think they finally found

him weeks later and, um, probably a

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month, a couple of months out after I

got, I don't know, in Tennessee, brought

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him back and he was, uh, facing trial.

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Wow.

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That happened pretty quick.

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You know, a lot of times they don't

find the person so now did you know him?

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No, I, most of his family though,

everybody was like, yeah, I was pretty

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known in the streets, even to this day.

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And, um, I walked in, our family

sitting on this side, and they

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family sitting on this side.

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And there was, uh, it was like, it was

a few cats like, Oh, what's up, babes?

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I was like, hey, what's up, man?

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And it was crazy.

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They didn't even know how to feel.

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And, and I, you know, I sat on the side

with my family, and we went from there.

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And, um, just remember my family going up.

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And everybody was like, you need to, I

hope you suffer, you know, stuff like

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that, but I, I didn't feel none of that.

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I was, I was.

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I didn't, I couldn't

even explain the feeling.

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God had me at peace.

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He already told me what to say.

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And, um, I knew I had to be

opposite of what was being said.

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And so when I got on the stand, I talked

about my brother and how much I love them.

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And you know, a little stuff when

we was kids, cause I watched all of

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them, you know, I'm the oldest out

of five boys and one girl, um, I told

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them, I said, man, I miss my brother.

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Then at one point I just looked at him.

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I said, man, look, I forgive you, man.

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And I was like, why are you in there?

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I was like, you know,

getting your word, man.

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I said, get in your word.

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I was like, cause Christ

is your only hope.

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And I said, he gonna, he is peace, man.

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Cause you're going to need a man.

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And I was like, God bless you, brother.

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And that was it.

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I walked off court and people

were stopping me and like, man,

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like the lawyer, that was, it

was a lawyer sitting in there.

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She was like, I never heard

nobody, you know, do that.

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And you can feel the power of forgiveness.

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In the room, it wasn't just forgiveness,

but it was the power of interesting , I

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like what you said about, it's a power

in the room was filled with it and God

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was working on you and you couldn't have

done that in my estimation by yourself.

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Is that correct?

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That is correct.

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So you said God was doing,

a work on you, right?

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Yeah.

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I've noticed because of going

through forgiveness myself, that

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this work that he's doing inside.

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Is.

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Where he shows you yourself.

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The work he's doing is where

he's showing you your real self.

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And where you.

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Actually our.

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In life in a lot of times

because of what's going on,

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the speed of what's going on.

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You never really sit down.

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And get a chance to

really look at yourself.

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And you can't.

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Really look at yourself, how you

need to, unless you have help.

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For instance, to look at

yourself, you need a mirror.

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And when God is working on you

at this point, He is showing.

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The inside of you.

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That's part of the work that he's doing.

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In that's needed when

you're going through.

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This process of forgiveness.

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Where he has to help you.

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So You tell him getting your word while

you in there is something you had to do or

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you were doing that prepared you for this.

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So it's a place you have been yourself.

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So you kind of saw

yourself in that person.

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A lot of us think that when we're better

than other people at times and we forget.

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So God has a way of bringing

us back to our senses.

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, so to speak, , and getting us in that

place and where we can see ourselves and,

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, I see your, I know this is a podcast

and people can't see right now and it's

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a powerful moment right now for you.

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Uh, you're reflecting on

that in the power of guys.

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So looking at your

character from before and.

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What you did then was

is totally different.

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It was not the same person.

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Yeah, people like people used to be my

mom's, you know, it hurted my heart.

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Once I got saved, you know, you

know, I accepted Christ in my

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life and I have to both feet in.

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I had a my mind was made up.

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It was I was done and I made my mind

up and man, it transformed my heart.

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I made up mine is powerful and I was done.

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But I but You know, making

up your mind, um, got me into

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relationships that were broken.

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Got me back into relationships

that were broken.

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And it was my mother, you

know, I was the oldest.

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So she would tell me secrets and

stuff when we was little, you

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know, in abusive relationships.

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So I knew how to get out the

house and all that type of stuff.

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Like who to call and stuff, but

all that stopped in my old life.

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But now when I got.

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Back into relationship with my mom's,

you know, until my once I got my life

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right with Christ, my mom started

opening it back up again to me because

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they're all less taken from me.

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So we share things.

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And one day we were sitting in our

house one day and I guess the old

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picture came up and she was like, yeah.

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And then all my guys,

everybody said the same thing.

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They was like, man, they was like, man,

cast was scared when you came around, man.

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It was like, and my mama opened

up her mouth and said, me too.

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She was like, I should

be scared of you, man.

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That broke my heart, man.

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I was like, I didn't even know.

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Cause I used to snap, you

know, I used to go crazy, man.

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You know, not meeting my real father.

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Everybody else had an opportunity for

that in my family, but I was really hurt

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over the years and never met my real

father and I should take it out on my

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mom's, you know, we throw dope together.

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Uh, just, she was a young mother.

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She was 21 with six kids.

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I had to think back.

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I was like, wow.

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I said 21 with six kids and I

actually when she was saying she

240

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was like, no, I love my kids.

241

00:12:11,318 --> 00:12:15,528

But what I'm saying is that she

opened up and when she said that

242

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to me, it broke my heart, man.

243

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She said she was scared of me.

244

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And I, I seen that times,

you know, I saw it.

245

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I never put my hands on my mother, but

the way I would, you know, flex up.

246

00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:31,093

Like, cause I ain't no little guy,

the way I would flex up and, and the

247

00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:34,363

whole house would clear or wherever

I was, people would just clear

248

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out cause I had this anger, man.

249

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And when she said that,

that broke my heart.

250

00:12:41,653 --> 00:12:43,753

And that was afterwards, right?

251

00:12:44,353 --> 00:12:47,783

No, this was before, like,

before I got saved, like.

252

00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:48,463

Okay.

253

00:12:48,873 --> 00:12:52,133

Yeah, so when I got saved,

she opened back up to me.

254

00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:57,303

You know, when you, when you cussing your

mother out, being crazy, acting crazy

255

00:12:57,303 --> 00:13:01,513

and all that, your parents shut down on

you, you know, they, they start revealing

256

00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:06,443

things that they have for you, you

know, and um, All that shut down on me.

257

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And so now that I'm saying my mother, we

talk, it's just like, I'm a kid again.

258

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She opened up by, she tells me if she

had just called me, like, guess what?

259

00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:20,143

You know, that, that Avenue has been

opened up, but when you disrespectful to

260

00:13:20,143 --> 00:13:24,123

your parents, which is an authoritative

level, them doors close on you.

261

00:13:24,123 --> 00:13:29,073

So a lot of kids out here are

missing out on value, value, valuable

262

00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,573

conversations because of the disrespect.

263

00:13:31,886 --> 00:13:36,593

And I want to, , just actually

refer that back to forgiveness

264

00:13:37,053 --> 00:13:41,683

and it's, , reconciliation,

, reconciling those relationships.

265

00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:50,923

And like you just said, if you don't have

that forgiveness, there's no opening,

266

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there's no intimate conversations.

267

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And you I believe you were having

those intimate conversations

268

00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:02,983

while you were in prison with God.

269

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And to be able to forgive, you

have to not just know about God.

270

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You have to know God and have

those intimate conversations.

271

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And, um, so many of us miss that because

I've seen where he's more apt to listen

272

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to us than we are to talk to him.

273

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And being who he is.

274

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, that's a great opportunity.

275

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And It's valuable.

276

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He's the creator of the universe and

he's opening up opportunities for us to

277

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have these conversations with him and.

278

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And that was, that was a significant thing

you did and it showed that, that there

279

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was things going on that you were , in

the business of renewing your mind.

280

00:14:53,531 --> 00:14:53,841

Yeah.

281

00:14:53,891 --> 00:15:00,341

Because I was looking into this lately

about transforming and renewing your mind.

282

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You have to be.

283

00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:05,901

First transform before you

can even renew your mind.

284

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So now you're doing this and renewing

your mind was part of Lee, how

285

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you were able to forgive exactly.

286

00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:19,841

And then it was so powerful.

287

00:15:19,841 --> 00:15:21,601

I believe it's, it's, it's.

288

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It's still having an impact just like

now our, our conversation now, and

289

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I'm pretty sure everybody that was

in that courtroom was impacted by it

290

00:15:30,191 --> 00:15:32,091

because you don't see that every day.

291

00:15:32,451 --> 00:15:36,261

So they're still being impacted by it.

292

00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:41,771

I'm pretty sure they told

somebody and what you did was.

293

00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:47,236

Very, um, that was, it was God in

that room and you were being used

294

00:15:47,236 --> 00:15:51,376

in, , the conversations you had

after that and how, what you're

295

00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:55,726

saying now with your, your mom, you

were able to, reconcile with her.

296

00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:59,006

My belief is you first need

to reconcile with God first

297

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before all other relationships.

298

00:16:01,346 --> 00:16:06,546

I think that my forgiveness that

God put on my life to help me when

299

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it came to forgiving others when

I when I knew that I was forgiven.

300

00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:14,866

I knew that out in the book, but

it was one time like with my mom's.

301

00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:16,886

Two sections.

302

00:16:16,886 --> 00:16:21,926

It's like when my mom's, I was

graduating from, uh, adult and teen

303

00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:23,506

challenges, a ministry program.

304

00:16:23,506 --> 00:16:26,896

And I was graduating, she

came and my two children came.

305

00:16:28,176 --> 00:16:29,536

I wasn't married at the time.

306

00:16:29,536 --> 00:16:32,766

And, um, she's getting my life

together, but, but my mind was made up.

307

00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:35,346

And I remember grabbing the mic

and they told me, and it's like 200

308

00:16:35,366 --> 00:16:36,686

people in the room, they said, Hey.

309

00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:41,321

They said, um, uh, Robert, just,

you know, give you a testimony.

310

00:16:41,321 --> 00:16:42,341

Like that's all cool.

311

00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:43,790

I grabbed a mic instantly.

312

00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:47,601

I knew the Holy spirit was

like, apologize to your mother.

313

00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:48,941

And we have been kicking it.

314

00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,111

I've been saying it like, mom,

forgive me, you know, for the way

315

00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:53,171

I used to talk to you and all that.

316

00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:55,281

But this day it was like, Authentic.

317

00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,481

And I said she was sitting

in the back of the room.

318

00:16:57,481 --> 00:16:58,951

It's like 200 people, man.

319

00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:01,071

She's sitting in the back

with my two children.

320

00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:04,320

And I said, man, before I say my

testimony, I just want to say,

321

00:17:04,761 --> 00:17:07,511

I said, I'm going to tell my

mother, mom, please forgive me.

322

00:17:07,521 --> 00:17:09,131

And I could barely breathe.

323

00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:13,695

Like, I was like, mom, please

forgive me for the way I treated you.

324

00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:18,276

I said, you didn't deserve none of

that, you know, because I'm honored

325

00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:21,185

that your father and mother don't come

with stipulations because some people

326

00:17:21,215 --> 00:17:24,945

think because your mom on drugs or

your mom or your dad or you got to

327

00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:27,316

write, uh, don't come with stipulation.

328

00:17:27,826 --> 00:17:30,526

And, uh, I was like,

mom, please forgive me.

329

00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:32,126

And, uh, and I'll never forget.

330

00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:36,786

I just, and it was quiet and people, the

power of forgiveness came in the room.

331

00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:40,556

They understood the power of it because

I was from the back of the room.

332

00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:44,486

She said, I forgive you, Robert,

like that, man, the whole place.

333

00:17:44,801 --> 00:17:47,871

erupted, praising God, crying.

334

00:17:48,321 --> 00:17:49,561

People was just crying all over.

335

00:17:49,561 --> 00:17:51,011

It was the power of forgiveness.

336

00:17:51,481 --> 00:17:52,971

Um, and she forgave me.

337

00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:59,651

And, um, but another time, um,

the forgive, no, just helping me.

338

00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,471

I started to understand

forgiveness as I went along.

339

00:18:04,971 --> 00:18:08,981

And you know, it was a, it was somebody,

it was people that have done things to me

340

00:18:08,981 --> 00:18:10,891

in my life that I couldn't forgive, man.

341

00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,761

And I was like, God, how

do you forgive somebody?

342

00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:17,521

I was like, cause they keep coming

up, you know, the person's face

343

00:18:17,521 --> 00:18:18,821

keep coming up the next day.

344

00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:23,291

And God told me one day, literally,

he said, listen, Forgiveness

345

00:18:23,291 --> 00:18:24,301

don't come with feelings.

346

00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,111

Oh man.

347

00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:28,701

Mic drop.

348

00:18:30,891 --> 00:18:31,931

Just told me straight out.

349

00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:34,251

It was a Ephesians 4 32.

350

00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:39,331

It talks about forgiveness, but

it also has all the feelings

351

00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:41,081

that you have in the beginning.

352

00:18:41,661 --> 00:18:45,651

And it said, you know, show

people kindness and, um, it

353

00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:47,011

says, show people kindness.

354

00:18:47,141 --> 00:18:48,081

Here it is right here.

355

00:18:48,081 --> 00:18:52,411

It says, uh, and be kind to

one another, tender heart,

356

00:18:54,421 --> 00:18:56,201

just as God in Christ.

357

00:18:56,816 --> 00:18:57,606

forgave you.

358

00:18:57,956 --> 00:19:01,966

And so you look at the top part

of saying, be kind to one another

359

00:19:02,106 --> 00:19:03,986

and be tenderhearted and seek.

360

00:19:04,236 --> 00:19:07,236

And when you don't forgive, it

takes that from your heart, the

361

00:19:07,236 --> 00:19:08,836

kindness and being tenderhearted.

362

00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:13,376

You, when you don't forgive, it's trying

to show you what your heart experiences

363

00:19:13,646 --> 00:19:15,626

outside of forgiveness, the first part.

364

00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:19,986

And it said, just know, be kind and

tenderhearted to one another, just

365

00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,236

as God in Christ Jesus forgave you.

366

00:19:22,706 --> 00:19:25,696

And so I took that verse.

367

00:19:26,576 --> 00:19:30,496

And I'm telling you, I forgave,

because I not only hurt people, you'll

368

00:19:30,496 --> 00:19:32,186

see in the book, but it was people.

369

00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:38,201

And I, it was times I couldn't

sleep like for, for what people did.

370

00:19:38,201 --> 00:19:44,351

And I took this verse and I said,

Lord, I forgive this person just

371

00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,091

like you forgave me in Christ Jesus.

372

00:19:46,091 --> 00:19:47,031

And I said, I forgive.

373

00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:48,591

And it didn't come with feelings.

374

00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:52,421

And the next day, the same feeling come,

I had the same feeling about the person.

375

00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:55,611

And I'm telling you, and, and

what God taught me in that moment,

376

00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,761

he said, just say forgiven.

377

00:19:57,306 --> 00:20:00,806

And I was like, because what me

and you did was real because at

378

00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,276

that moment, it was actually real.

379

00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:05,836

What I went through, what I, the

forgiveness I did, but the next day it

380

00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:07,596

comes up, it don't feel like you did it.

381

00:20:07,886 --> 00:20:08,726

You didn't do it right.

382

00:20:08,726 --> 00:20:12,086

You like, no, God told

me like you did it right.

383

00:20:12,236 --> 00:20:16,206

And so soon as that person probably your

mind at the devil, because the devil keep

384

00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,576

bringing it up, you say, forgive him.

385

00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,916

And then you might feel this way, but.

386

00:20:20,221 --> 00:20:23,801

You speak this way, you respond

this way outside of feelings.

387

00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:28,101

And man, I'm telling you, it's people

that I have literally , forgave

388

00:20:28,121 --> 00:20:34,431

people and the wound got so it's

no longer open anymore in my life.

389

00:20:34,461 --> 00:20:40,881

It's um, it's closed up, it healed and

it got stitches and it's just a scar now.

390

00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:44,411

And, um, it's a testimony for

me because, and that's what I,

391

00:20:44,471 --> 00:20:47,181

that's, I just want everybody to

understand feelings don't come.

392

00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:51,941

But I mean, forgiveness don't come by

feelings, but it comes by, um, with you,

393

00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:56,061

your trust, uh, forgiveness through the

word of God, because he forgave you.

394

00:20:57,361 --> 00:21:00,061

I like how you, you put that in.

395

00:21:00,111 --> 00:21:00,451

Yes.

396

00:21:00,481 --> 00:21:04,681

That's definitely was a mic drop

to say forgiveness doesn't come

397

00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:10,611

with feelings because It's a,

that too is a process, I believe.

398

00:21:10,931 --> 00:21:17,541

And with you, I like how you said,

because it was original at first, and

399

00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:22,421

it may not feel original because you're

thinking the feelings should align with

400

00:21:22,421 --> 00:21:24,941

it already when it doesn't at that time.

401

00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:29,871

It's going to take, it's still going

through the healing process, but I also

402

00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:33,251

like what you said about that verse,

be kind and tender hearted because the

403

00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:36,921

opposite of it is unkind and hard hearted.

404

00:21:36,991 --> 00:21:40,841

Bitterness, bitterness, anger.

405

00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:43,481

What do we see so much of today?

406

00:21:44,051 --> 00:21:44,321

Yeah.

407

00:21:44,391 --> 00:21:45,521

And anger.

408

00:21:46,991 --> 00:21:50,001

And, , some people don't

even realize they are angry.

409

00:21:51,891 --> 00:21:55,691

And, but we still, we see the

tell a tale signs a lot of there

410

00:21:55,841 --> 00:21:58,371

they're scowled all up snap quick.

411

00:21:58,541 --> 00:22:02,401

, like you were saying, , how

you were reacting to things.

412

00:22:02,441 --> 00:22:08,668

And that's just how it is when a

person is angry and haven't had

413

00:22:08,678 --> 00:22:10,848

that experience of forgiveness yet.

414

00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:17,818

So that's that power, because we need

that power of forgiveness to actually

415

00:22:18,368 --> 00:22:20,878

help us with the anger and help people.

416

00:22:21,228 --> 00:22:24,448

Everybody needs this because

it is so much anger out here.

417

00:22:24,448 --> 00:22:25,718

There's real rage.

418

00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:30,828

This people want, anything to step on

their toe and they're ready to kill them.

419

00:22:31,288 --> 00:22:35,948

And then it's, and it can

send you off to prison.

420

00:22:36,348 --> 00:22:38,618

It can end your life.

421

00:22:39,228 --> 00:22:43,978

Um, just the description of, you

know, some of those altercations and

422

00:22:44,038 --> 00:22:48,178

like we all have, , had, or, , what

happened with your brother, but the

423

00:22:48,178 --> 00:22:51,838

night before he was killed, I mean,

when he was killed, I should say,

424

00:22:52,198 --> 00:23:01,318

um, if you were not angry, if you had

stuff under control, that could make a

425

00:23:01,328 --> 00:23:04,078

big difference is it's life or death.

426

00:23:04,278 --> 00:23:08,698

And when we see the power of

forgiveness and God saved us, right.

427

00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:15,683

And We see actually repeated in

front of us in our day to day lives.

428

00:23:15,683 --> 00:23:20,483

We can be saving people saving ourselves,

through allowing God to help us with that.

429

00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:26,663

So I like how you coupled that

because most people thinking that

430

00:23:26,663 --> 00:23:28,353

they need to do it by themselves.

431

00:23:29,063 --> 00:23:31,803

Their feelings should be

aligned with it right now.

432

00:23:32,403 --> 00:23:33,053

And.

433

00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:40,198

I, I like how you just debunk that that's

not true and you are a real life case

434

00:23:40,584 --> 00:23:49,511

of losing a loved one still missing and

showing how the power of forgiveness can

435

00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:52,601

work on that and how it changed your life.

436

00:23:52,601 --> 00:23:53,781

And then you talked about.

437

00:23:54,556 --> 00:23:56,086

Forgiving your mom too.

438

00:23:56,386 --> 00:24:02,506

And we have another instance of blowing

up the room, like we, who, again, you

439

00:24:02,506 --> 00:24:07,256

affected a lot of people and I'm not

sure if they knew what they were looking

440

00:24:07,256 --> 00:24:11,516

at, but forgiveness is what we need.

441

00:24:13,046 --> 00:24:16,446

That's why I named this show,

a prisoner's pardon, because

442

00:24:16,446 --> 00:24:18,636

we're looking for answer for.

443

00:24:19,286 --> 00:24:25,026

Recidivism and most people wouldn't

think about forgiveness or just a pardon

444

00:24:25,476 --> 00:24:27,796

and I just want to coincide the two.

445

00:24:27,796 --> 00:24:29,346

That is still accountability.

446

00:24:29,356 --> 00:24:35,386

The young man who killed your brother

still went to jail, still had an

447

00:24:35,386 --> 00:24:42,366

account, but that doesn't negate

forgiveness because some people may

448

00:24:42,376 --> 00:24:43,996

think, I know you've probably seen it.

449

00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:45,606

Oh, I thought you forgave me.

450

00:24:45,891 --> 00:24:48,321

And they're thinking that

there's no consequences with it.

451

00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:51,761

If you forgive somebody, Oh, all

the consequences are wiped away.

452

00:24:52,011 --> 00:24:53,541

What do you think about that?

453

00:24:54,191 --> 00:24:55,241

I understand.

454

00:24:55,251 --> 00:24:58,921

That's like, like even God, when

he forgive you, he forgive you your

455

00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:00,751

sins, but people may not forgive you.

456

00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:01,561

You get what I'm saying?

457

00:25:02,241 --> 00:25:03,081

I look at that.

458

00:25:03,121 --> 00:25:07,491

I thought that once I gave my life to

Christ, that people will forgive me.

459

00:25:07,681 --> 00:25:11,211

It's still people working on forgiving

me now because I was so, you know,

460

00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:16,141

It's people that still see me and

they cautious and like they, you

461

00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:20,741

know, you could tell, um, that

just because you've been forgiven.

462

00:25:21,171 --> 00:25:25,271

That don't mean everybody forgive

you, you know, um, by the cross.

463

00:25:25,851 --> 00:25:30,001

I thought that for a while, but

you still got, sometimes you still

464

00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:34,681

got consequences, you know, um,

sometimes you just be wiped clean.

465

00:25:34,681 --> 00:25:36,991

It's a lot of people that have

been, you know, the power of

466

00:25:36,991 --> 00:25:38,111

price ain't nothing to play with.

467

00:25:39,481 --> 00:25:40,591

It'll wipe you clean.

468

00:25:40,611 --> 00:25:41,491

It'll wipe clean.

469

00:25:41,501 --> 00:25:44,441

It'll wipe like everything clean.

470

00:25:44,451 --> 00:25:45,411

But some people.

471

00:25:45,776 --> 00:25:48,706

You know, God still, you

don't know how he, he moves.

472

00:25:48,716 --> 00:25:52,836

Sometimes he is still, you'll be forgiven

by him, but sometimes you still got

473

00:25:52,836 --> 00:25:54,676

to, you know, pay the consequences.

474

00:25:55,236 --> 00:25:59,366

Um, cause, uh, even when I, when I did

stuff when I was younger, I remember.

475

00:25:59,836 --> 00:26:02,196

I did that robbery when I was

younger, but I got a chance to

476

00:26:02,196 --> 00:26:03,536

ask their family for forgiveness.

477

00:26:03,536 --> 00:26:05,916

You know, you like you talk

that last sentence and day,

478

00:26:07,006 --> 00:26:08,516

but I still had to go to jail.

479

00:26:08,626 --> 00:26:13,186

It was like, I still

had, um, my time to do.

480

00:26:13,416 --> 00:26:14,766

So I totally understand that.

481

00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:20,206

So what do you think about

when people say, well, not when

482

00:26:20,206 --> 00:26:24,196

people say, but when the Bible

says, , the truth was set you free.

483

00:26:26,806 --> 00:26:27,466

How would you.

484

00:26:28,281 --> 00:26:32,411

How would you align that with forgiveness?

485

00:26:34,231 --> 00:26:35,341

The truth will set you free.

486

00:26:35,601 --> 00:26:38,531

Yeah, it's, um, I think that's personal.

487

00:26:39,221 --> 00:26:39,681

Mm hmm.

488

00:26:40,001 --> 00:26:45,561

I think that's your heart, you know,

your, um, your sin condition, you know?

489

00:26:45,971 --> 00:26:47,481

Mm hmm.

490

00:26:47,641 --> 00:26:50,451

I think that's more what it's

talking about, your heart, your heart

491

00:26:50,451 --> 00:26:53,981

issues, your sin, your sin condition.

492

00:26:54,381 --> 00:26:55,511

It'll set you free.

493

00:26:56,201 --> 00:26:58,801

Um, but does life continue?

494

00:26:58,831 --> 00:27:01,621

Yeah, it's still gonna be

death and the family, you know?

495

00:27:02,266 --> 00:27:05,966

You still gonna get like, like I gotta

say, my, my daughter was running away

496

00:27:05,976 --> 00:27:10,726

from, she was 14 to, and I'm deep in

the ministry after she was running

497

00:27:10,726 --> 00:27:13,096

away from 14, she was 18 years old.

498

00:27:13,096 --> 00:27:14,746

You know, life don't stop.

499

00:27:15,126 --> 00:27:16,256

It has set you free,

500

00:27:18,276 --> 00:27:22,546

but, but just life don't stop, but

you have a piece God to give you.

501

00:27:22,556 --> 00:27:27,706

It's just like a special piece that

you have that the world don't give.

502

00:27:29,841 --> 00:27:31,891

You know, the truth of sexuality is this.

503

00:27:32,221 --> 00:27:32,831

It's true.

504

00:27:32,871 --> 00:27:36,231

It's like, even when I lost my

grandmother, I didn't go crazy.

505

00:27:36,241 --> 00:27:42,071

It was just like, it was, it was keeping

me, you know, grew up with my grandma

506

00:27:42,071 --> 00:27:43,971

stayed in my grandma's house off and on.

507

00:27:44,631 --> 00:27:46,261

It was just a piece.

508

00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:49,706

Um, along with my heart.

509

00:27:50,476 --> 00:27:51,196

I like that.

510

00:27:51,286 --> 00:27:55,336

, and also I was thinking too, though,

when I'm talking about the truth of

511

00:27:55,336 --> 00:28:01,066

set you free, because that power of

forgiveness is setting you free as well.

512

00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:05,006

And it's, um, it's giving you that peace.

513

00:28:05,756 --> 00:28:12,526

So part of forgiveness is being,

I believe, truthful, honest, and

514

00:28:12,526 --> 00:28:14,466

looking at things the way they are.

515

00:28:15,356 --> 00:28:21,286

And that's how I believe it does

to coincide with how the truth is.

516

00:28:21,286 --> 00:28:26,536

And you're just not lying to yourself

about just seeing yourself for.

517

00:28:27,116 --> 00:28:30,836

The limitations that we have and

the things that we've done wrong

518

00:28:31,466 --> 00:28:37,286

and not doubling down on it and

just trying to excuse it because

519

00:28:37,286 --> 00:28:42,646

I've seen when you double down, you,

you holding on, you holding on to

520

00:28:42,646 --> 00:28:46,826

things and you can't get that true

forgiveness , having that truth and

521

00:28:46,826 --> 00:28:48,456

having that forgiveness and that peace.

522

00:28:48,986 --> 00:28:50,736

And it's, it's a valuable thing.

523

00:28:50,776 --> 00:28:51,386

Peace is.

524

00:28:52,156 --> 00:28:56,386

Everybody should know who's listening

how precious pieces is, you know,

525

00:28:56,386 --> 00:29:00,526

and God does says is no peace

for the wicked and it is true.

526

00:29:03,656 --> 00:29:04,986

That's why I said, I think it's personal.

527

00:29:05,516 --> 00:29:06,016

Yeah.

528

00:29:06,016 --> 00:29:06,586

A prisoner's.

529

00:29:06,586 --> 00:29:07,066

Pardon?

530

00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:10,286

And that it, it's like

unforgiveness is like, you not free.

531

00:29:11,866 --> 00:29:12,166

You know?

532

00:29:12,166 --> 00:29:15,526

When you hold unforgiveness it's

like you hear people always say that.

533

00:29:15,526 --> 00:29:18,226

It's like you drinking

poison and you hope Mm-Hmm.

534

00:29:18,646 --> 00:29:19,876

hoping other person die.

535

00:29:20,356 --> 00:29:21,106

It's, it's true.

536

00:29:21,106 --> 00:29:22,546

You be captive, man.

537

00:29:22,546 --> 00:29:27,246

And it was like, man, dude,

the change dropped off me once.

538

00:29:27,336 --> 00:29:32,596

Uh, when you read the book, you know,

people read the book How I was forgiving.

539

00:29:33,226 --> 00:29:35,266

And I was forgiving other people.

540

00:29:35,376 --> 00:29:38,426

You know, I was just, I was

just running around like, man,

541

00:29:38,426 --> 00:29:39,456

would you please forgive me?

542

00:29:39,516 --> 00:29:42,026

If you, when you read the book, you're

like, I want you, I was going to my

543

00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:46,266

uncle's aunties, friend girls that

I used to date and stuff like that.

544

00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:47,506

Cause I wasn't in my right mind.

545

00:29:47,546 --> 00:29:49,566

I was like, would you please,

and I was actually hurting.

546

00:29:50,346 --> 00:29:52,996

And, um, that's just what it was.

547

00:29:53,006 --> 00:29:55,436

It was just a life of, please forgive me.

548

00:29:55,821 --> 00:30:03,661

After he forgave me and I seen people

and I seen how I was destructive, man.

549

00:30:03,861 --> 00:30:05,341

I heard a lot of people.

550

00:30:05,341 --> 00:30:10,831

I heard a lot of people and, um, but

everybody I met, they, they, they

551

00:30:10,831 --> 00:30:14,641

forgave me and it was a bless at the

moment and it was the power of it.

552

00:30:14,861 --> 00:30:18,601

You know, I think that it's not

just forgiving somebody, but it's,

553

00:30:18,621 --> 00:30:22,151

it's the power of forgiveness

that the cross, I think.

554

00:30:22,846 --> 00:30:26,516

That's the difference between when we

forgive as Christ followers, when we be

555

00:30:26,516 --> 00:30:30,966

obedient to forgiveness, when God calls

us to, we experienced the power of the

556

00:30:31,016 --> 00:30:33,006

cross, the forgiveness of the cross.

557

00:30:33,286 --> 00:30:34,926

And look how powerful it was, man.

558

00:30:34,936 --> 00:30:38,136

The blood will be died, will

be dead and gone and the blood

559

00:30:38,136 --> 00:30:39,226

will never lose its power.

560

00:30:39,226 --> 00:30:40,306

It will still be forgiven.

561

00:30:40,636 --> 00:30:41,696

So we deal with that.

562

00:30:41,736 --> 00:30:48,776

When we obedient, God call us to say, Hey,

forgive this person, or you better do it.

563

00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,816

Free and set the other person free

because that's what that's what it does.

564

00:30:52,826 --> 00:30:55,776

It sets you free and another person free.

565

00:30:56,426 --> 00:31:00,536

I like how You were saying

here about you were hurting.

566

00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:02,266

, what do you mean you were hurting?

567

00:31:02,276 --> 00:31:06,796

How were you, you were talking about

when I was going to the people?

568

00:31:07,096 --> 00:31:07,406

Yeah.

569

00:31:07,406 --> 00:31:08,686

You said you were hurting.

570

00:31:09,916 --> 00:31:11,076

I was very violent.

571

00:31:11,166 --> 00:31:17,246

I was a very violent person, you know,

and, and by being the oldest and stuff

572

00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:19,136

like that, I just felt obligated.

573

00:31:19,136 --> 00:31:22,351

It was like, it was times I wanted out

the game, but I bought the equipment.

574

00:31:22,641 --> 00:31:26,561

The gang life home GDs, you

know, I brought it home.

575

00:31:26,781 --> 00:31:29,011

We was lynched mob renegades.

576

00:31:30,001 --> 00:31:36,561

So I feel, I felt bad, uh, over

the years cause I brought it home

577

00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,311

and I lost a brother to a murder.

578

00:31:38,311 --> 00:31:42,101

I lost cousins to a murder, all

that type of, I just felt bad.

579

00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:47,346

So when I was asking for forgiveness,

I was hurting, man, but and God

580

00:31:47,346 --> 00:31:56,266

allowed me to feel, um, uh, the pain,

you know, of, of when you hurt people

581

00:31:56,266 --> 00:31:58,306

and you, and you wanted forgiveness.

582

00:31:58,306 --> 00:31:59,376

I can't explain it.

583

00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:03,346

It was just, I just felt just

like, man, please forgive.

584

00:32:03,516 --> 00:32:05,576

I remember I was in a family dollar.

585

00:32:06,146 --> 00:32:07,276

It's a long story.

586

00:32:07,326 --> 00:32:08,476

I couldn't find a job.

587

00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:12,336

And I was, and my sister in law

come up here where I said, man, I

588

00:32:12,336 --> 00:32:13,496

ain't working in no family dollar.

589

00:32:13,526 --> 00:32:14,696

Man, God was like, go.

590

00:32:15,226 --> 00:32:16,816

Cause that would turn into my ministry.

591

00:32:16,816 --> 00:32:17,406

He didn't know.

592

00:32:18,241 --> 00:32:20,291

I remember one of my

guys walked up in there.

593

00:32:20,321 --> 00:32:24,641

This guy, I used to always

like bully like, I was, we was

594

00:32:24,641 --> 00:32:26,121

cool, but I used to bully him.

595

00:32:26,121 --> 00:32:32,351

And, and, uh, he walked in there one

day and I saw me and I walked up to him.

596

00:32:32,351 --> 00:32:33,821

I said, Hey, Hey, what's up, man?

597

00:32:33,871 --> 00:32:34,901

He's like, what's up base.

598

00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:39,231

And I know he remembered, you

know, and I, and I looked at him.

599

00:32:39,881 --> 00:32:42,991

And I say, man, what you, I said,

look, I said, you know, the way

600

00:32:42,991 --> 00:32:44,331

I used to treat you was wrong.

601

00:32:44,371 --> 00:32:46,871

And man, I just started

weeping right in front of him.

602

00:32:47,411 --> 00:32:49,171

I said, please forgive me, man.

603

00:32:49,171 --> 00:32:50,971

I said, I wasn't in my right mind.

604

00:32:51,741 --> 00:32:53,901

I said, but I accepted

Christ in my life, dude.

605

00:32:53,901 --> 00:32:56,011

I was like, man, I said,

I'm doing much man.

606

00:32:56,011 --> 00:32:57,301

That brother looked at me.

607

00:32:57,911 --> 00:33:00,011

And he was like, I forgive

you, but I said, no, no, no.

608

00:33:00,041 --> 00:33:04,361

Listen, I need you to forgive

me for the way I treated you.

609

00:33:04,591 --> 00:33:06,351

And that there was the power of Christ.

610

00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,501

It wasn't just forgiven.

611

00:33:07,561 --> 00:33:11,401

It was the power of forgiveness

in that, in the, in the aisle,

612

00:33:11,671 --> 00:33:14,461

you know, and that brother hugged

me and you could just feel it.

613

00:33:14,461 --> 00:33:16,951

I just felt the Holy

spirit all on both of us.

614

00:33:17,471 --> 00:33:21,281

Cause he knew that it was authentic, you

know, cause I used to treat him wrong.

615

00:33:21,281 --> 00:33:22,901

And I, and he told me, forgive me, man.

616

00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:23,771

I hugged him.

617

00:33:24,471 --> 00:33:26,351

I got his number to this day, you know.

618

00:33:26,441 --> 00:33:33,381

I appreciate that because I, I

want this to come out , talking

619

00:33:33,381 --> 00:33:34,971

about the emotions of it too.

620

00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:39,601

And what, what people should be seeing

if they truly forgive someone is

621

00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:44,101

like, it wasn't what, like you say,

fake, , I wasn't like, Oh, forgive me.

622

00:33:44,101 --> 00:33:44,561

And all that.

623

00:33:44,561 --> 00:33:49,171

And then, you know, that's not,

True forgiveness, what we're saying

624

00:33:49,171 --> 00:33:54,191

here, and what you actually just

put into words, you feel the pain.

625

00:33:54,971 --> 00:34:02,091

Now of what you've done, you see the

person now and you feel pain about it

626

00:34:02,281 --> 00:34:06,911

and you say what you did because, and

you were hurting, you said you had

627

00:34:06,911 --> 00:34:08,601

bust out, you know, crying and stuff.

628

00:34:08,601 --> 00:34:12,181

It is nothing wrong with that because

it's showing that it was authentic

629

00:34:12,190 --> 00:34:14,380

because it was, it was painful.

630

00:34:14,541 --> 00:34:15,886

You now feel pain.

631

00:34:16,396 --> 00:34:19,585

Something where before you

were desensitized, I would

632

00:34:19,585 --> 00:34:20,726

say you were hard hearted.

633

00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:26,326

Now you're tender hearted, tender hearted

people when other people are hurt.

634

00:34:27,286 --> 00:34:27,556

Yes.

635

00:34:27,596 --> 00:34:29,956

So this is like audience.

636

00:34:29,956 --> 00:34:32,835

This is a red flag here.

637

00:34:32,835 --> 00:34:38,196

If you're not hurting and feeling

painful for what you've done,

638

00:34:38,196 --> 00:34:40,896

I think you should rethink.

639

00:34:41,116 --> 00:34:44,976

Look at this again, because

something is not right because

640

00:34:45,525 --> 00:34:46,916

you should be tender hearted.

641

00:34:48,476 --> 00:34:51,556

Tenderhearted people hurt.

642

00:34:51,616 --> 00:34:55,496

They don't, they can't just

do something, , because.

643

00:34:56,255 --> 00:35:00,446

It hurts them to do

something that's wrong.

644

00:35:00,836 --> 00:35:06,506

Um, so that's a big red flag that if

you don't feel anything, it's nothing

645

00:35:06,506 --> 00:35:07,696

like what's what's wrong with it.

646

00:35:07,716 --> 00:35:13,116

You know, like we become so desensitized

with this television and social

647

00:35:13,116 --> 00:35:16,596

media and in not understanding the.

648

00:35:17,551 --> 00:35:22,811

What's the, I would say transformation

that's going on inside of you, like

649

00:35:22,811 --> 00:35:26,961

you transformed into what Christ

made you to be, which is to be

650

00:35:27,281 --> 00:35:29,091

tenderhearted, forgiving and kind.

651

00:35:29,101 --> 00:35:34,041

That means you're not walking around all

exposed and you're going to get hurt every

652

00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:36,761

time somebody say something wrong to you.

653

00:35:37,541 --> 00:35:43,781

And now it's funny, we'll say

tenderhearted, but on the outside

654

00:35:43,781 --> 00:35:46,831

of it, it's like you kind of,

you think more thick skin.

655

00:35:46,841 --> 00:35:48,391

You're not as sensitive.

656

00:35:49,546 --> 00:35:53,676

As you were the wrong way, but

you're sensitive in the right way.

657

00:35:54,236 --> 00:36:01,296

So, and then I like how you describe how

the power again is, I cannot negate this.

658

00:36:01,326 --> 00:36:03,406

It is forgiveness.

659

00:36:03,436 --> 00:36:05,556

True forgiveness is very powerful.

660

00:36:05,556 --> 00:36:08,216

It changes people on the inside.

661

00:36:08,226 --> 00:36:09,446

It, it changes.

662

00:36:09,446 --> 00:36:15,006

When I say change people, it changes

the heart, the heart, the heart.

663

00:36:15,476 --> 00:36:16,576

You become compassion.

664

00:36:16,576 --> 00:36:20,416

I think like he can feel like that.

665

00:36:20,416 --> 00:36:22,196

That's why Jesus was so compassionate.

666

00:36:23,226 --> 00:36:28,656

He could feel, you know, and that's,

that's what, that's what it's all about.

667

00:36:28,916 --> 00:36:30,206

I can feel again.

668

00:36:30,286 --> 00:36:31,136

That's what happened to me.

669

00:36:31,136 --> 00:36:36,446

When I see him in that, that aisle

like that, I feel compassion.

670

00:36:37,441 --> 00:36:41,571

And I was just like, man, I just felt so

much compassion for him, but not just him.

671

00:36:41,631 --> 00:36:47,411

It was a lot of people, man, that I

remember my uncle down there, man.

672

00:36:47,451 --> 00:36:51,101

I used to, me and him got into it all the

time, but you know, I was more aggressive.

673

00:36:51,971 --> 00:36:54,541

And, um, when I got, I'm telling you.

674

00:36:54,896 --> 00:36:57,286

When I got saved, I seen

him at my mom's house, man.

675

00:36:57,286 --> 00:36:59,276

I said, can I talk to y'all, man?

676

00:36:59,276 --> 00:37:00,526

Christ was all on me, man.

677

00:37:01,576 --> 00:37:01,856

Back.

678

00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:04,886

I said, Hey, listen, I said, I love y'all.

679

00:37:04,936 --> 00:37:06,006

He said, I love you too, man.

680

00:37:06,146 --> 00:37:06,816

I love you too.

681

00:37:07,386 --> 00:37:11,656

And, um, I said, but man, I said,

look, please forgive me for the way

682

00:37:11,656 --> 00:37:17,766

I was treated and I was like, and I

could see how I treated him in my mind.

683

00:37:17,826 --> 00:37:19,326

You know, I can feel it.

684

00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:22,851

And I was like, man, I could feel it.

685

00:37:23,011 --> 00:37:25,581

And I was just like, and I

just started to weep, man.

686

00:37:26,121 --> 00:37:29,491

And it wasn't showing that I was

no punk or nothing like that.

687

00:37:29,491 --> 00:37:31,911

It was just showing

like, I could feel again.

688

00:37:31,911 --> 00:37:33,211

And I was like, I'm sorry.

689

00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:34,861

And he was like, I forgive you, man.

690

00:37:35,801 --> 00:37:38,331

And man, the way we

hugged, it was the power.

691

00:37:38,581 --> 00:37:39,091

It was the power.

692

00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:43,921

See, forgiveness got power to, and

so it'll change your heart, man.

693

00:37:43,921 --> 00:37:44,551

I'm telling you.

694

00:37:44,821 --> 00:37:49,431

And the way people, the way you see

things and the way people see you,

695

00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:52,611

because it forgiveness not only affects

you, but it affects every person.

696

00:37:53,641 --> 00:37:54,251

Oh yeah.

697

00:37:54,251 --> 00:37:56,231

I like how, again, you.

698

00:37:56,501 --> 00:37:59,851

You, you described it perfectly

and how the whole room

699

00:37:59,851 --> 00:38:03,011

changes and yeah, I was there.

700

00:38:03,011 --> 00:38:07,591

So I was there myself before and, you

know, growing up in tough neighborhoods.

701

00:38:08,191 --> 00:38:09,101

Right, Pastor.

702

00:38:09,711 --> 00:38:12,251

It can be, you feel you gotta be tough.

703

00:38:13,216 --> 00:38:15,436

And it's just, well, you're

going to get ate up and that's

704

00:38:15,436 --> 00:38:17,346

just, that was a survival.

705

00:38:18,986 --> 00:38:24,546

It was about survival, but, , I

know God showed me another way and

706

00:38:24,546 --> 00:38:29,236

I'm sure he, like he showed you,

you don't have to lose your heart.

707

00:38:29,246 --> 00:38:34,501

You don't have to lose, um, That's

sensitive nature in because God

708

00:38:34,551 --> 00:38:36,491

actually fights your battles for you.

709

00:38:37,611 --> 00:38:38,981

I didn't realize that either.

710

00:38:39,011 --> 00:38:45,941

So, and because , we're not built to

fight those type of battles and stuff.

711

00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:50,021

We do fight battles, but he,

he actually does the work for

712

00:38:50,021 --> 00:38:51,731

us and we just follow orders.

713

00:38:52,131 --> 00:38:54,601

I should say, and then we're still intact.

714

00:38:54,631 --> 00:38:55,901

We were able to.

715

00:38:56,971 --> 00:39:02,171

, still be around people be kind hearted and

tender, but also hold people accountable

716

00:39:02,171 --> 00:39:08,701

as well and have that good balance

where you don't lose sight of things.

717

00:39:09,221 --> 00:39:16,681

So, and again, this, this, I

cannot again, just tell you how.

718

00:39:17,061 --> 00:39:22,571

powerful, how much we need forgiveness,

true forgiveness, and but where

719

00:39:22,571 --> 00:39:26,451

we don't see it around, you know,

they always saying, be kind.

720

00:39:26,711 --> 00:39:28,391

I don't know if you've

been hearing that lately.

721

00:39:28,761 --> 00:39:29,151

Yeah, yeah.

722

00:39:29,151 --> 00:39:30,301

You hear those words.

723

00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:30,531

Yeah.

724

00:39:31,371 --> 00:39:33,641

Then it's like, they don't

tell you how to be kind.

725

00:39:33,641 --> 00:39:34,901

How do you just be kind?

726

00:39:35,371 --> 00:39:35,591

Yeah.

727

00:39:37,071 --> 00:39:39,961

And then he's like, okay, I'm gonna try

to be kind when you was trying to be kind.

728

00:39:39,971 --> 00:39:41,411

Did you, were you able to do it?

729

00:39:41,951 --> 00:39:42,351

No.

730

00:39:43,671 --> 00:39:44,141

Good.

731

00:39:44,361 --> 00:39:45,091

Be good.

732

00:39:45,291 --> 00:39:47,281

All that type of, I think, I think.

733

00:39:48,111 --> 00:39:51,601

I think I really think

that you should like Peter.

734

00:39:51,621 --> 00:39:54,941

They was like, how many

times you said 70 times 7.

735

00:39:54,941 --> 00:39:57,601

The reason why Jesus said that

about forgiveness, when you

736

00:39:57,601 --> 00:39:59,561

forgive somebody said 70 times 7.

737

00:39:59,561 --> 00:40:00,371

He's like, man, what?

738

00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:02,261

They ask for more faith.

739

00:40:02,261 --> 00:40:06,441

The reason why is because

Santa's in the world, you know.

740

00:40:07,056 --> 00:40:07,556

This world.

741

00:40:07,556 --> 00:40:10,086

And so sin needs to be forgiven.

742

00:40:10,276 --> 00:40:12,196

And so that, that is very important.

743

00:40:12,206 --> 00:40:16,786

So even in my marriage, like the,

the key words is always to my

744

00:40:16,786 --> 00:40:18,556

wife, forgive me, I was wrong.

745

00:40:18,956 --> 00:40:23,056

And this is not all the time, but

it's, it's just saying, forgive me.

746

00:40:23,056 --> 00:40:25,946

I was wrong because you ain't going

to always get it right in relation.

747

00:40:26,876 --> 00:40:29,166

So them, them, the key

words and forgive me.

748

00:40:29,166 --> 00:40:32,676

And then the other person

should be in place.

749

00:40:33,351 --> 00:40:36,291

For forgiveness, because it's

not something you all you all the

750

00:40:36,301 --> 00:40:40,521

time doing like hurting or say

something wrong or I said something

751

00:40:40,521 --> 00:40:41,761

too loud or something like that.

752

00:40:41,761 --> 00:40:44,701

So I always be like, hey,

I stopped myself instantly.

753

00:40:44,701 --> 00:40:48,131

So the power of Christ, you

keep flowing in my life.

754

00:40:48,596 --> 00:40:50,336

Because unforgiveness, it stops it.

755

00:40:50,336 --> 00:40:52,966

So I, I'll be like, Hey

sweetheart, I apologize.

756

00:40:52,966 --> 00:40:54,256

I was a little too loud with that.

757

00:40:54,256 --> 00:40:57,196

And she, my wife would look at her

and she'd be like, forgive like that.

758

00:40:57,606 --> 00:41:01,326

And we get right back to, you know,

letting Christ flow in our lives.

759

00:41:01,326 --> 00:41:05,376

Because unforgiveness, it, it, it, it

stops the flow of Christ in your life.

760

00:41:06,056 --> 00:41:08,561

It goes back to what you were

saying, like with your mom.

761

00:41:09,431 --> 00:41:18,801

You lose that intimacy, that opening

that you have, and you lose it with,

762

00:41:19,491 --> 00:41:23,681

it's not even, I think, you know, some

people think you can compartmentalize

763

00:41:26,081 --> 00:41:28,461

it, you know, you'll put it in a

certain section and it won't flow

764

00:41:28,461 --> 00:41:30,871

into other relationships, but.

765

00:41:31,266 --> 00:41:32,746

We're just not made that way.

766

00:41:32,746 --> 00:41:33,556

Look at our blood.

767

00:41:34,026 --> 00:41:35,826

Look how our blood flows through us.

768

00:41:36,196 --> 00:41:38,526

You can't just keep it

in your your hand part.

769

00:41:38,546 --> 00:41:44,506

You can't just keep it in one body part

that forgiveness unforgiveness flows

770

00:41:44,506 --> 00:41:50,466

into every relationship everything you

do and most effective most importantly,

771

00:41:50,466 --> 00:41:56,781

I should say you lose that intimacy

with Christ because he God is not one

772

00:41:56,791 --> 00:42:01,291

to overlook stuff, he's gonna, he's

gonna bring it up, call it out, and

773

00:42:01,301 --> 00:42:06,101

you're gonna be under this conviction,

and once you're under that conviction,

774

00:42:06,121 --> 00:42:07,441

that's when you feel that hurt.

775

00:42:07,826 --> 00:42:11,186

And you, and you're actually

seeing people and what they're

776

00:42:11,186 --> 00:42:12,846

doing, what you've done to them.

777

00:42:13,166 --> 00:42:14,906

And you see yourself as well.

778

00:42:14,906 --> 00:42:16,826

I'm talking from experience as well.

779

00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,176

You see your own sins and you'd

be like, I need forgiveness.

780

00:42:20,386 --> 00:42:27,076

And so we, it's, it's actually, it has

to be, it's not just a one time thing.

781

00:42:27,386 --> 00:42:29,746

So, and that's, I'm glad you brought up.

782

00:42:30,566 --> 00:42:33,686

That how many times he

said seven times tonight.

783

00:42:35,246 --> 00:42:38,066

They had some more faith than it

was like, Lord, give us more faith.

784

00:42:38,876 --> 00:42:40,936

It's actually like real.

785

00:42:41,216 --> 00:42:43,706

You, you have to forgive

as Christ forgave you.

786

00:42:43,986 --> 00:42:48,076

So, because, because even Jesus, he was

like, Lord, take this, this bitter cup.

787

00:42:48,096 --> 00:42:52,636

It was a bit, it was, that cup was bitter

because that unforgiveness is, it was

788

00:42:52,636 --> 00:42:55,126

a bitter cup and he had to take on it.

789

00:42:55,486 --> 00:43:01,156

He had to take on our sins because we were

unforgiving and, and, but by his blood,

790

00:43:01,156 --> 00:43:03,486

we're forgiving, but the cup itself.

791

00:43:04,386 --> 00:43:06,056

And it was unforgiveness, man.

792

00:43:06,066 --> 00:43:08,486

We, we, we had Christ paid our debt, man.

793

00:43:08,576 --> 00:43:13,356

So that cup that, what he went through,

he suffered, his soul suffered.

794

00:43:13,446 --> 00:43:16,006

And so all that has to

do with unforgiveness.

795

00:43:16,716 --> 00:43:21,576

Um, your soul suffers and that's your

mind, your emotions and your own will.

796

00:43:21,576 --> 00:43:25,906

You'll even make bad decisions through

unforgiveness, just resting in your

797

00:43:25,926 --> 00:43:27,496

bones and in your heart like that.

798

00:43:27,506 --> 00:43:29,456

You'll, you'll be able

to take you off course.

799

00:43:30,196 --> 00:43:31,706

And, but that's, so that's why.

800

00:43:31,766 --> 00:43:37,346

Forgiveness is so important and

otherwise, if you don't have this

801

00:43:37,356 --> 00:43:38,966

forgiveness, you have this anger.

802

00:43:38,966 --> 00:43:45,416

If you have this anger, I mean,

this is most of your story, right?

803

00:43:45,666 --> 00:43:46,276

That's most of.

804

00:43:46,846 --> 00:43:52,766

Everybody's story, I would think I

would, imagine that if someone's

805

00:43:52,766 --> 00:43:57,926

going in and out and of jail, or

they're constantly just in trouble and

806

00:43:57,926 --> 00:44:00,696

stuff, it's usually an anger issue.

807

00:44:01,156 --> 00:44:05,586

And I'm and we see it every day.

808

00:44:05,586 --> 00:44:07,636

Just look at these people look at people.

809

00:44:07,636 --> 00:44:08,596

They're angry.

810

00:44:09,221 --> 00:44:14,171

And some of the stuff is like over

this, why are you angry for, but it's,

811

00:44:14,181 --> 00:44:15,931

it's not because of that one incident.

812

00:44:15,941 --> 00:44:23,541

It's something that's been building

other stuff and it's, you have to deal

813

00:44:23,541 --> 00:44:30,531

with this is or it's what it's going

to escalate and it's not, can you

814

00:44:30,531 --> 00:44:35,941

talk, I like how you brought up too,

is that when you forgive other people.

815

00:44:37,366 --> 00:44:41,646

It necessarily doesn't happen where

the other person forgives you,

816

00:44:42,216 --> 00:44:43,706

but do you still have this piece?

817

00:44:44,446 --> 00:44:44,796

Yeah.

818

00:44:45,736 --> 00:44:46,216

Okay.

819

00:44:46,776 --> 00:44:49,436

Because you was obedient

to what God told you.

820

00:44:50,016 --> 00:44:53,216

Well, that's, that's the, it's

about just being obedient.

821

00:44:53,296 --> 00:44:55,886

It don't say that God didn't tell you

that the other person would change.

822

00:44:56,156 --> 00:44:58,806

He just told you to, you

just have to do your part.

823

00:44:59,256 --> 00:45:00,536

And sometimes people don't.

824

00:45:01,181 --> 00:45:05,881

That the other hand don't receive, but

you did your part and that that's it.

825

00:45:06,231 --> 00:45:07,571

That that's the key behind it.

826

00:45:07,571 --> 00:45:09,551

It's just you, you doing God's will.

827

00:45:09,981 --> 00:45:13,371

It's just like when Christ came,

he, he, he was sent for everybody,

828

00:45:13,371 --> 00:45:14,651

but he was, he was rejected.

829

00:45:14,661 --> 00:45:17,071

He came for the Jews,

but they rejected him.

830

00:45:17,561 --> 00:45:18,451

He did his part.

831

00:45:18,861 --> 00:45:20,561

He, he did his part.

832

00:45:20,571 --> 00:45:22,671

The blood was still for

them as well, you know?

833

00:45:23,271 --> 00:45:29,011

And so he did his part and, and we

have to just do our parts in life.

834

00:45:29,011 --> 00:45:31,111

And sometimes the other

person won't respond.

835

00:45:32,066 --> 00:45:35,596

And you wish they do, but now

you got to just move along.

836

00:45:36,726 --> 00:45:39,916

Now, did you have any

problem forgiving yourself?

837

00:45:40,756 --> 00:45:41,516

Oh, absolutely.

838

00:45:41,526 --> 00:45:44,476

For you, man, for years, for years.

839

00:45:44,806 --> 00:45:48,546

Man, I was I think that's

what the problem was.

840

00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:49,516

And you know what?

841

00:45:49,556 --> 00:45:52,596

Other people forgave me at

times and I may forgive myself.

842

00:45:52,636 --> 00:45:55,206

It was a few people that

forgave me and I forgive myself.

843

00:45:55,206 --> 00:45:57,776

And I was like, man, you

got to let that go, man.

844

00:45:57,786 --> 00:46:01,556

You know, you'd be like

it works that way as well.

845

00:46:01,951 --> 00:46:04,691

But I had, I had a huge

problem with forgiving myself.

846

00:46:05,391 --> 00:46:10,511

And, uh, when I had been forgiven,

even with God, like, like, how could

847

00:46:10,511 --> 00:46:12,931

he forgive me for all the stuff I did?

848

00:46:12,931 --> 00:46:13,961

I can't even talk about it.

849

00:46:14,081 --> 00:46:19,541

I'd be in prison, but I was

like, how could he forgive me?

850

00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:25,171

And so, you know, the devil always

try to manipulate unforgiveness,

851

00:46:25,981 --> 00:46:27,701

you know, or forgiveness rather.

852

00:46:27,701 --> 00:46:29,901

He, he always tried to

manipulate forgiveness.

853

00:46:30,491 --> 00:46:34,051

That comes from Christ, um, like,

no, you ain't worthy and all

854

00:46:34,051 --> 00:46:37,091

that, but, but he found me worthy.

855

00:46:37,351 --> 00:46:39,481

And so that is what it is.

856

00:46:39,541 --> 00:46:40,731

And I stand on that today.

857

00:46:41,541 --> 00:46:47,331

And I think, do you think this was part

of when you, my mind is made up, you

858

00:46:47,331 --> 00:46:52,091

were saying when you finally got your

mind made up, were you at that point too?

859

00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:57,326

Getting past forgiving yourself

and being able to forgive

860

00:46:57,326 --> 00:46:58,906

yourself and just do the work.

861

00:46:59,306 --> 00:47:00,706

What was going on there?

862

00:47:01,076 --> 00:47:02,026

Yeah, I was ready.

863

00:47:02,196 --> 00:47:04,786

Once my mind was made up,

I was ready for anything.

864

00:47:05,006 --> 00:47:06,046

That's just what it was.

865

00:47:06,056 --> 00:47:09,111

It was like, I was, I

was like, I knew my mind.

866

00:47:09,111 --> 00:47:10,671

It was something

different that took place.

867

00:47:10,961 --> 00:47:15,131

Cause usually when I got, when I was like,

I was going to do something, I had my foot

868

00:47:15,421 --> 00:47:20,671

one in the world and one in the church,

one in the program and one in the world.

869

00:47:20,901 --> 00:47:25,511

And sometimes I had both feet in,

but I still entertain those thoughts

870

00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:27,061

that weren't, weren't right.

871

00:47:27,121 --> 00:47:29,771

And I would let you know,

I, I would you, whatever you

872

00:47:29,771 --> 00:47:31,271

entertain becomes your reality.

873

00:47:31,651 --> 00:47:37,786

So sometimes I kind of entertain You

know, smoking cigarettes again, I get

874

00:47:37,786 --> 00:47:39,826

out, go have sex, all that type of stuff.

875

00:47:40,236 --> 00:47:46,246

Entertain the morning and he said,

just overtake me as it would anybody

876

00:47:47,366 --> 00:47:51,176

and you know, and I'd like to

point that out to people because

877

00:47:51,176 --> 00:47:53,816

I see so many times that we, we.

878

00:47:55,181 --> 00:47:59,551

We forget that we can't do nothing

without Christ and how powerful

879

00:47:59,581 --> 00:48:05,251

sin is, but forgiveness is

powerful, more powerful than sin.

880

00:48:05,671 --> 00:48:10,871

And when we start forgiving

people, we can start today

881

00:48:13,751 --> 00:48:19,251

forgiving yourself, having that intimate

relationship with God, having him forgive.

882

00:48:20,151 --> 00:48:23,151

You, did you ask him

for forgiveness as well?

883

00:48:23,641 --> 00:48:24,651

How did that go?

884

00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:30,721

I see what a made up mind, just

reading the scriptures, Jesus, his

885

00:48:30,721 --> 00:48:34,111

life showed us that we struggled, you

know, cause we got to give up some

886

00:48:34,111 --> 00:48:35,941

things and he had to give up his life.

887

00:48:36,211 --> 00:48:39,761

And at one point at three times, he

said, father, take this cup away from me.

888

00:48:40,271 --> 00:48:43,701

But right after that, he said, not

my will, but your will be done.

889

00:48:43,741 --> 00:48:45,891

So it was, I was trapped between both.

890

00:48:45,901 --> 00:48:50,331

He was showing us Our life because he had

on the body put on a body and he showed

891

00:48:50,331 --> 00:48:52,771

us our struggle and it's the same way.

892

00:48:52,771 --> 00:48:53,991

I got to give up this.

893

00:48:54,011 --> 00:48:58,271

That's why a lot of people say

because it's uh, they got to give up

894

00:48:58,271 --> 00:49:01,421

some things and it was a struggle.

895

00:49:01,561 --> 00:49:05,001

But once I, once I made my mind up,

just like Christ, he did, he said,

896

00:49:05,011 --> 00:49:06,501

not my will, your will be done.

897

00:49:06,511 --> 00:49:10,961

That was the last part when he did it

3 times and it took him to the cross.

898

00:49:11,696 --> 00:49:13,716

And see, that's what I told you.

899

00:49:13,736 --> 00:49:19,176

Um, well, I don't know if I told you or

not, but we had a sidebar, but it was a

900

00:49:19,176 --> 00:49:22,586

lot of scholars believe that the garden

of Gethsemane was the most powerful

901

00:49:22,586 --> 00:49:27,746

place, um, because it's the place where

he made up his mind to go to the cross.

902

00:49:28,346 --> 00:49:29,016

And so.

903

00:49:29,866 --> 00:49:33,786

It was the same way, a made up mind

to take you where you need to be.

904

00:49:34,276 --> 00:49:40,626

And so made my mind up and it took

me to the cross and I confessed.

905

00:49:40,646 --> 00:49:42,736

I was like, that's when I was honest.

906

00:49:42,786 --> 00:49:44,126

I was like, Lord, I'm a sinner.

907

00:49:45,106 --> 00:49:46,286

I'm in need of grace.

908

00:49:46,996 --> 00:49:52,526

And, and I'm telling you, man,

I never, my mind was made up.

909

00:49:53,681 --> 00:49:54,281

And it was open.

910

00:49:54,281 --> 00:49:58,069

I promise you, I ain't been back since

I had, I ain't been back since I'm

911

00:49:58,069 --> 00:50:02,621

talking about, I haven't been back

since, since 2000, December 10th, 2012.

912

00:50:02,621 --> 00:50:05,801

I haven't been back since

cause I put both feet in him.

913

00:50:05,801 --> 00:50:06,661

I made my mind.

914

00:50:06,661 --> 00:50:09,101

I said, Lord, I'm done.

915

00:50:09,101 --> 00:50:10,261

I said, use me.

916

00:50:10,451 --> 00:50:12,701

You know, I said, use

me Lord for your glory.

917

00:50:12,701 --> 00:50:15,431

I was like, ah, I don't

want to go back no more.

918

00:50:15,431 --> 00:50:16,071

And that was it.

919

00:50:16,071 --> 00:50:19,891

And the power of forgiveness

came, boom, it hit me.

920

00:50:19,891 --> 00:50:22,451

And I knew I was free and I wept and wept.

921

00:50:23,211 --> 00:50:26,161

Man, he just let me know

that I was forgiven, man.

922

00:50:26,221 --> 00:50:30,961

And it, and it showed cause man, all

type of doors start opening for me, man.

923

00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:38,931

I was about to go into that because you

said, um, a very important thing when

924

00:50:38,931 --> 00:50:47,001

everybody thinks you feel like you, um,

given up a lot, but do you gain more?

925

00:50:47,341 --> 00:50:48,111

Did you gain?

926

00:50:48,551 --> 00:50:50,691

Oh, that's a, that's a,

that's the deception.

927

00:50:51,521 --> 00:50:53,311

That is, that's the deception that the.

928

00:50:53,626 --> 00:50:57,256

Want us to be like, hold on to our

past because ain't nothing there.

929

00:50:57,556 --> 00:50:58,516

It was nothing there.

930

00:50:58,521 --> 00:50:58,751

Mm-Hmm.

931

00:50:58,831 --> 00:51:04,846

. And I was like, you know, the, the, the,

the sex drugs kicking it party, all that.

932

00:51:05,176 --> 00:51:07,426

It ain't even worth compared to what?

933

00:51:07,546 --> 00:51:07,936

The, what?

934

00:51:07,936 --> 00:51:09,646

He opened doors for me, man.

935

00:51:09,646 --> 00:51:13,366

I, he, the first time, the first,

so when I did that, I went on a

936

00:51:13,366 --> 00:51:18,526

ministry trip and um, I, we gave

our testimony, I had to give my

937

00:51:18,526 --> 00:51:20,476

testimony this one church way up north.

938

00:51:20,686 --> 00:51:25,676

All right, this guy walked up to

me and he described his experience.

939

00:51:26,251 --> 00:51:30,681

When he first got saved, when God forgave

him of all his sins, he told me, he

940

00:51:30,681 --> 00:51:34,561

said, when that, when I received Christ

that day, he forgave me of all my sins.

941

00:51:34,621 --> 00:51:37,481

He said, I ain't felt the Holy

spirit like this in years, young man.

942

00:51:37,921 --> 00:51:42,181

And he said, he said, um, God told

me to tell you, you need to go back

943

00:51:42,181 --> 00:51:43,801

to school and I'm gonna pay for it.

944

00:51:44,151 --> 00:51:47,631

And, um, it was the power of forgiveness

that paid for my first year of school.

945

00:51:47,636 --> 00:51:51,951

And, and so when I went back to the, to

the treatment center, I came back with

946

00:51:51,951 --> 00:51:55,881

a check to go back to school because

they knew how much it cost my books and

947

00:51:55,881 --> 00:51:59,421

all that, and they put it in the safe

and this time, God to put something

948

00:51:59,421 --> 00:52:01,071

before me so I won't run no more.

949

00:52:01,801 --> 00:52:02,041

Okay.

950

00:52:02,041 --> 00:52:07,441

And so all that, I, I was in a program

I had, I was waiting to, uh, get out of

951

00:52:07,441 --> 00:52:09,031

this just so I can go back to school.

952

00:52:09,211 --> 00:52:09,786

It was paid for.

953

00:52:10,901 --> 00:52:12,071

That's what I'm talking about.

954

00:52:12,081 --> 00:52:17,041

Thank you for, , exposing that lie

and, , feeling like you're going to

955

00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:22,171

lose so much when actually you're

going to gain right in its way.

956

00:52:22,241 --> 00:52:23,651

It's priceless.

957

00:52:24,131 --> 00:52:27,281

And, and right now you're

actually being cheated.

958

00:52:27,881 --> 00:52:28,251

Right?

959

00:52:29,001 --> 00:52:33,321

When you think you're, you, when you think

you're doing good and you, you can't just

960

00:52:33,321 --> 00:52:35,001

give that up and you're not gonna make it.

961

00:52:35,361 --> 00:52:35,901

You know?

962

00:52:35,961 --> 00:52:39,981

And I hope someone that's listening

and hear that right now, um, at this

963

00:52:39,981 --> 00:52:42,741

moment that they feel like they're okay.

964

00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:45,231

I don't wanna give this

and that up, right?

965

00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:51,791

We are, we are here to tell you that

trust you, trust you gotta gain way more.

966

00:52:52,646 --> 00:52:57,636

And once you understand the, the, the

pricelessness of it, you're going to

967

00:52:57,666 --> 00:53:01,586

be like, man, I've been cheating all

this time and I've been faked out

968

00:53:03,746 --> 00:53:04,766

and I'm going to tell you that.

969

00:53:05,006 --> 00:53:09,636

And when I had, like, when I did that,

it was a girl that was kind to me, man.

970

00:53:09,636 --> 00:53:13,916

I mean, she was there the whole time,

but once I checked into the ministry,

971

00:53:14,236 --> 00:53:18,196

when God had called me in, I had both

feet in my mind, God told me that she

972

00:53:18,196 --> 00:53:19,886

couldn't go and it broke my heart.

973

00:53:20,441 --> 00:53:23,621

And my wife noticed it broke,

but she didn't do, you know,

974

00:53:23,621 --> 00:53:25,891

she, she, she didn't understand.

975

00:53:25,891 --> 00:53:29,881

And I was like, but I came into her life

manipulative and God told me it's done.

976

00:53:30,331 --> 00:53:31,651

We're done with that.

977

00:53:32,091 --> 00:53:34,551

And, uh, it changed everything.

978

00:53:34,821 --> 00:53:39,791

And once I, I let, I finally let

that go and cause it took me a while,

979

00:53:39,791 --> 00:53:42,351

man, cause I couldn't understand it.

980

00:53:42,996 --> 00:53:45,386

But then when I did do

it, I did it by faith.

981

00:53:45,466 --> 00:53:47,276

I didn't, I didn't go off my feelings.

982

00:53:47,296 --> 00:53:49,106

God was like, I need you to do this now.

983

00:53:49,106 --> 00:53:51,176

It was like an urgent call in my spirit.

984

00:53:51,636 --> 00:53:54,786

And I just let her know, you

know, and I just stayed away.

985

00:53:54,786 --> 00:53:59,026

I was like, she couldn't understand it,

but I'm going to tell you I did that.

986

00:53:59,476 --> 00:54:01,136

I went through the repercussions of that.

987

00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:04,746

She was calling mad in the center,

you know, doing stuff, saying stuff.

988

00:54:05,356 --> 00:54:06,006

It was crazy.

989

00:54:06,606 --> 00:54:08,616

But my wife came after that.

990

00:54:09,266 --> 00:54:09,926

I promised it.

991

00:54:10,311 --> 00:54:10,731

Yup.

992

00:54:10,771 --> 00:54:13,641

Somebody to help me carry the

vision that God called me to.

993

00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:14,861

Yup.

994

00:54:14,901 --> 00:54:19,041

Cause when you give, when you separate

yourself, when you, uh, he said,

995

00:54:19,041 --> 00:54:20,641

he who keeps his life will lose it.

996

00:54:20,641 --> 00:54:23,541

But he who loses his life for

me, Jesus said, we'll find it.

997

00:54:24,201 --> 00:54:26,341

And that's what it was.

998

00:54:26,341 --> 00:54:29,511

And I'm telling you what, the

more you, you, you give up things

999

00:54:29,511 --> 00:54:31,201

in your life, the things that.

1000

00:54:32,141 --> 00:54:35,591

That don't mean you no good man,

or the thing, it can be some good

1001

00:54:35,591 --> 00:54:36,711

things sometime in your life.

1002

00:54:36,951 --> 00:54:38,641

Don't always think it's the bad things.

1003

00:54:38,651 --> 00:54:41,401

A lot of people always think it's

the bad things God coming after.

1004

00:54:41,731 --> 00:54:43,911

But it's the good things,

because there was some time I

1005

00:54:43,911 --> 00:54:45,321

had to give up a radio station.

1006

00:54:45,321 --> 00:54:46,931

I was teaching on a radio station.

1007

00:54:46,931 --> 00:54:50,221

I heard God say, clear as

day, that give that up.

1008

00:54:50,461 --> 00:54:53,511

And I need you to stop doing this

over here in this ministry part.

1009

00:54:53,511 --> 00:54:54,501

And these were good things.

1010

00:54:54,861 --> 00:54:58,811

And I gave him up and he

opened a door for me over here.

1011

00:54:58,811 --> 00:55:00,171

And I was like, Oh, I see why.

1012

00:55:00,691 --> 00:55:04,611

So it's not always bad things

because that's what it can be.

1013

00:55:04,611 --> 00:55:07,101

Some, some things that

are beneficial as well.

1014

00:55:07,141 --> 00:55:10,571

But when God say, give it up,

give it up because he has a

1015

00:55:10,591 --> 00:55:11,841

perfect plan for your life.

1016

00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:13,041

It's a perfect plan.

1017

00:55:13,361 --> 00:55:14,721

So that means we can't.

1018

00:55:15,156 --> 00:55:16,796

Add to it or take away from it.

1019

00:55:17,956 --> 00:55:18,916

Well, thank you.

1020

00:55:18,936 --> 00:55:19,416

Thank you.

1021

00:55:19,446 --> 00:55:20,636

Thank you for this.

1022

00:55:20,666 --> 00:55:22,506

Um, we're about to wrap this up.

1023

00:55:22,506 --> 00:55:25,556

And thank you for just revealing.

1024

00:55:25,846 --> 00:55:27,746

I don't want to call them secret things.

1025

00:55:27,836 --> 00:55:31,256

I want to call them things that is hidden.

1026

00:55:31,866 --> 00:55:33,786

They're treasures that.

1027

00:55:34,836 --> 00:55:40,516

We need to know about when we thinking

about giving up things for God and how,

1028

00:55:41,336 --> 00:55:44,016

, forgiveness plays a big part of you.

1029

00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:49,826

The biggest part, I believe of you

being able to step away from, , the

1030

00:55:49,826 --> 00:55:54,166

lifestyle you had before that sent

you back and forth to prison, had

1031

00:55:54,166 --> 00:56:00,156

you under those influences and

had you spiraling down in the fun.

1032

00:56:00,226 --> 00:56:05,641

And it's like, I know we You know,

I look at this every day and it's, I

1033

00:56:05,641 --> 00:56:11,781

believe it's a spiritual thing when

we hold on to things that we know.

1034

00:56:12,836 --> 00:56:13,536

It's no good.

1035

00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:17,386

We see where we at and we

still want to hold on to it.

1036

00:56:18,016 --> 00:56:22,716

And again, just thank you telling us

how it was for you to separate from

1037

00:56:22,716 --> 00:56:27,576

those things and how benefits that

you didn't have before started coming

1038

00:56:27,876 --> 00:56:30,216

and how your wife came after that.

1039

00:56:30,246 --> 00:56:32,406

It's like you have to get

through this test in time.

1040

00:56:32,706 --> 00:56:36,726

I'm pretty sure going back to

what you say, it don't feel good.

1041

00:56:37,101 --> 00:56:39,531

Oh, your feelings don't

usually be there yet.

1042

00:56:40,281 --> 00:56:41,216

It's faith.

1043

00:56:41,216 --> 00:56:43,561

This is faith, not feelings.

1044

00:56:43,701 --> 00:56:44,231

Okay.

1045

00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:46,161

Okay.

1046

00:56:46,161 --> 00:56:47,191

Faith over feelings.

1047

00:56:47,191 --> 00:56:47,921

I like that one.

1048

00:56:48,271 --> 00:56:51,051

So is there anything else you

want to tell the audience,

1049

00:56:51,101 --> 00:56:55,021

, we mentioned your book,

80 Barry white voices.

1050

00:56:55,441 --> 00:56:58,061

Um, can they get it on Amazon or?

1051

00:56:58,576 --> 00:57:02,206

Yes, they can get it on 80 Barry

White Voices, Robert Dean Bell,

1052

00:57:02,206 --> 00:57:03,716

it's on Amazon now and it's cheap.

1053

00:57:03,716 --> 00:57:05,086

Everybody's like, man, you got it cheap.

1054

00:57:05,336 --> 00:57:06,466

It's 14.

1055

00:57:06,466 --> 00:57:08,746

99, but it's a, it's an impactful read.

1056

00:57:08,746 --> 00:57:09,326

It's engaging.

1057

00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:12,136

Teenagers should read this book.

1058

00:57:12,256 --> 00:57:17,136

You know, uh, it's really like

a 00, you know, a 007 start.

1059

00:57:17,146 --> 00:57:18,946

It just start off like action packed.

1060

00:57:20,131 --> 00:57:21,591

You will see the story, man.

1061

00:57:21,591 --> 00:57:23,111

I'm telling you, it's a great book.

1062

00:57:23,121 --> 00:57:24,241

1499.

1063

00:57:24,321 --> 00:57:28,801

Plus I want to shout out to my church,

Life Church, Milwaukee, and I'm here on

1064

00:57:28,801 --> 00:57:34,451

56th and Burlap, our service times at 9 30

and 11 AM, right on 56th and Burlap, Life

1065

00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,571

Church, Milwaukee, 9 o'clock services.

1066

00:57:37,811 --> 00:57:41,981

And I'm here to tell you

that he is who we say he is.

1067

00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:44,921

Christ Jesus is who we say he is.

1068

00:57:45,631 --> 00:57:51,381

All right, I thank you so much for

that shout out and a great show again.

1069

00:57:52,031 --> 00:57:56,691

I really don't get enough times to

talk about forgiveness, but your story

1070

00:57:56,901 --> 00:57:58,821

and what you went through was perfect.

1071

00:57:58,891 --> 00:58:03,431

And you just really gave us

the details about forgiveness.

1072

00:58:04,161 --> 00:58:10,961

Life feelings, how you feel, how

you can get cheated, how, how was

1073

00:58:10,981 --> 00:58:15,251

worth it and just how far you've

come and how God has blessed you.

1074

00:58:15,541 --> 00:58:18,391

But I thank you again for joining me.

1075

00:58:18,551 --> 00:58:23,321

Thank you audience for listening and may

you have a week filled with blessings.

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