Shownotes
A very special sneak peak behind the curtains of The Successful Chef™ Leadership Bootcamp, Cohort #1.
This what we're here for! Check out when the next cohort begins at Chef Life Coaching.
Lesson Topic: Energetic Presence & Real-Time Regulation
Lesson Plan:
- Segment 1 – What Energy Really Means
- Segment 2 – Stress Isn’t the Enemy (But It’s Running the Show)
- Segment 3 – Steady State = Leadership Power
- Segment 4 – Tools to Regulate in Real Time
- Segment 5 – Your Crew Is Reading You
Action Item: Use the Shift Reset Practice Card once per shift to center your energy. Journal afterward about how it shifted your tone, posture, or clarity.
Tool: Shift Reset Practice Card – Your go-to guide for grounding during moments of pressure.
Group Session Prompt: What energy did you bring into the kitchen this week—and how did it impact the room?
Summary: Presence isn’t passive. It’s a daily discipline. The chef who learns to reset, regulate, and ground their nervous system builds trust without ever having to raise their voice.
Additional Resources:
- You Are the Placebo – Dr. Joe Dispenza
- HeartMath Institute – Research on heart-brain coherence
- Power vs Force – David Hawkins (optional)
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Transcripts
Welcome back, chef.
Speaker:This is module four.
Speaker:Be the Calm.
Speaker:Your energy is your leadership.
Speaker:You've earned your way here, not just by watching lessons, but by doing the work.
Speaker:You started noticing your emotional baseline.
Speaker:You began to track your triggers.
Speaker:That's not small.
Speaker:That's a shift most chefs never make.
Speaker:Now you might be thinking "energy? Didn't we just do that?" Well, in
Speaker:module three, we talked about emotional regulation and stress response.
Speaker:We explored about how stress shows up in your body, your breath, your focus,
Speaker:and what to do when you're in it.
Speaker:That was about you, your awareness, your internal temperature.
Speaker:This week, it's about taking that internal awareness and applying it in
Speaker:real time, because presence doesn't pause, when the pressure ramps up,
Speaker:that's when it matters the most.
Speaker:It's about what happens to everyone else.
Speaker:When you walk in the room this week, it's about energetic responsibility.
Speaker:Whether you're aware of it or not, your team is scanning your
Speaker:vibe before you say a single word.
Speaker:If you're frantic, they tighten.
Speaker:If you're grounded, they loosen.
Speaker:In this module, we're gonna be talking about the signal you send to
Speaker:your crew and what to do about it.
Speaker:Now, I'll be the first to admit that it's a little bit weird that even though this
Speaker:conversation is about how your energy affects other people, it still comes back
Speaker:to you who you're being in the moment.
Speaker:The reality is that the success of your crew is directly proportional to
Speaker:the amount of work you do or don't do to create and maintain a steady state
Speaker:becoming less oak and much more bamboo.
Speaker:But then again, this is what you asked for.
Speaker:It's why you're here.
Speaker:You are after all the leader.
Speaker:This has nothing to do with whether you have a big personality or not.
Speaker:Your professional success will always come down to whether you step in to leadership
Speaker:and assume the position fully or step off to let someone else anchor the team.
Speaker:Your vibrational frequency influences the crew before your voice ever does.
Speaker:If you wanna lead like someone, your team can not only follow, but
Speaker:also trust, you'll have to learn how to regulate yourself first.
Speaker:Here's what I'm talking about.
Speaker:It's a cool autumn Friday night.
Speaker:It's peak period of the shift, and everything's unraveling.
Speaker:Orders are piling up, tickets bleeding down the rail.
Speaker:The fryer's backed up.
Speaker:The grill's off temp, and I can feel my chest tightening like someone's
Speaker:cinching a strap around my ribs, I'm barking: short, sharp commands trying
Speaker:to keep the line from spinning out.
Speaker:But the truth is, I'm the one that's spinning.
Speaker:The voices around me blur the heat, the noise, the expectation.
Speaker:It all crashes in at once.
Speaker:I step off the line without a word, I duck into the walk-in,
Speaker:close the door, and stand there.
Speaker:My breath is caught halfway up my throat.
Speaker:Cold air hits my face like a slap.
Speaker:My hands are shaking.
Speaker:I press my palms against the shelf to steady myself, but it's no use.
Speaker:I'm coming apart from the inside out, listening to the
Speaker:quiet hum of the compressor.
Speaker:Something clicks, not a breakdown, almost a breakthrough.
Speaker:I realize I've been showing up every day tighter than a funeral drum thinking.
Speaker:Control is strength.
Speaker:The apex predator in the punch bowl, but what I'm actually radiating
Speaker:is panic, anxiety, pressure.
Speaker:Whether I say a word or not, my team feels every ounce of it, and they're
Speaker:reflecting it right back at me, snapping at each other like junkyard dogs.
Speaker:Not their fault.
Speaker:I'm the one that brought the heat.
Speaker:Wait, what?
Speaker:Really it's me.
Speaker:Shit.
Speaker:I'm the fucking problem?
Speaker:Because my energy set the tone.
Speaker:I can't lead from chaos.
Speaker:I can't create calm for my team if I can't create it for myself.
Speaker:I start to breathe slow, deep, and deliberate.
Speaker:My hands stop trembling, my body softens.
Speaker:I walk back out with the same tools, the same kitchen, but a
Speaker:completely different presence.
Speaker:That was the day I stopped managing panic and started practicing leadership.
Speaker:I. Chef, your presence is your leadership.
Speaker:That's why we're circling back to the subject of energy in this module.
Speaker:Not because we're repeating ourselves, but because this is
Speaker:the part that changes everything.
Speaker:When it comes to how people trust you, follow you perform under pressure;
Speaker:it's one thing to manage your stress.
Speaker:It's another to be the calm in the chaos.
Speaker:That's what we're leaning into.
Speaker:Let's name the elephant in the walk-in.
Speaker:Most of us were never taught how to lead our energy.
Speaker:We were only taught how to move faster, push harder, and power through.
Speaker:And if you don't know what's happening in your nervous system,
Speaker:you're not in command of your energy.
Speaker:You're just reacting to it.
Speaker:That's where this word comes in, "somatic", "soma", meaning body
Speaker:somatic awareness simply means noticing what's happening in your body without
Speaker:judgment, without trying to fix it.
Speaker:Because if you can't feel what's happening in you, you can't lead
Speaker:what's happening around you.
Speaker:When you learn how to lead from presence instead of pressure, everything changes.
Speaker:How your team hears you, how you recover, how you regulate, when things
Speaker:heat up, this isn't some woo thing.
Speaker:It's science, it's biology, it's breath, awareness, and self command.
Speaker:The most grounded chefs in the world, like Eric Ripert from La Bernadin,
Speaker:, In New York City comes to mind.
Speaker:They aren't just calm, they're regulated.
Speaker:That same chef at one point in his career had to consider why he kept losing cooks.
Speaker:Given the fact that he was the only common denominator in all those losses,
Speaker:he had to come to the conclusion that if he was gonna remain successful, but
Speaker:probably more importantly fulfilled than he was gonna have to change his
Speaker:ways, he became a practicing Buddhist.
Speaker:He became chill, accepting, stoic.
Speaker:He became steady state.
Speaker:Today you're gonna learn how to do the same.
Speaker:Let's start small.
Speaker:Let's start with a quick three-step somatic check-in.
Speaker:Deep breath in.
Speaker:Come on, let's go.
Speaker:You know how to do this right?
Speaker:Box, breath.
Speaker:Breathe in for a count of four.
Speaker:1, 2, 3, 4. Hold for a count of four.
Speaker:1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale to a count of four, 1, 2, 3, 4 And hold for a count of four.
Speaker:1, 2, 3. 4. Now release.
Speaker:In that space.
Speaker:Between your next breath, ask yourself.
Speaker:Where do I usually hold stress?
Speaker:What does it feel like?
Speaker:Ask your body.
Speaker:What's one thing I can use to reset?", Listen, and then do that thing.
Speaker:Dr. David Hawkins in his book, "Power vs Force", writes, "the body
Speaker:doesn't lie, it doesn't perform, it doesn't mask, tells the truth about
Speaker:how you're actually showing up".
Speaker:So how do you define energy?
Speaker:Well, it isn't just about how loud you are or how hard you hustle.
Speaker:It's the frequency you carry, the tone, the rhythm, the emotional field you
Speaker:broadcast, whether you intend to or not.
Speaker:You're scattered, rounded, dismissive, calm.
Speaker:Your team knows, even if you don't say a thing, leadership starts with a signal.
Speaker:You're sending, let's bring that signal in.
Speaker:Let's bring that signal into alignment.
Speaker:Stress isn't the enemy.
Speaker:It is running the show.
Speaker:I'm not here to make you avoid stress.
Speaker:I'm here to help you stop being ruled by it because prolonged stress rewires
Speaker:your brain and makes you reactive, defensive, impatient, fight or flight.
Speaker:Shortens your tone, kills your creativity, erodes trust.
Speaker:You think you're focused, your crew thinks you're pissed.
Speaker:You think you're being clear.
Speaker:They feel like they're being judged.
Speaker:Stress doesn't just live in your body.
Speaker:It spills over and your team can feel it.
Speaker:Check it.
Speaker:You don't need to eliminate stress, you just need to interrupt the cycle.
Speaker:I call it a pattern interrupt.
Speaker:I will do almost anything to short circuit, a well-practiced way of being.
Speaker:That's a phrase I use that describes habits, emotional triggers, and
Speaker:crystallized neural pathways in the brain.
Speaker:I'll breathe, go for a walk, close my eyes for two minutes.
Speaker:Because going inward, that's where the power truly resides.
Speaker:Steady state equals leadership power.
Speaker:Remember when we talked in module one about presence over position?
Speaker:Yeah, just like that.
Speaker:This is where Dr. Joe Dispenza and HeartMath come in handy because your
Speaker:thoughts and emotions produce a literal electromagnetic field around your body.
Speaker:Your vibe isn't' a metaphor it's measurable, and when you're in
Speaker:a coherent state, your heart and brain in sync, you create a ripple
Speaker:effect of calm all around you.
Speaker:And that your team sinks with that frequency.
Speaker:I worked with a grill cook in a high volume fish house who after
Speaker:a station would stock, would reach into his shirt pocket and
Speaker:pull out a little troll doll and put it in the window.
Speaker:then he'd give me the long side eye as if he was preparing for that inevitable
Speaker:moment during the shift when the triple rail is full and tickets are spilling
Speaker:out onto the floor, and it's at that moment when I'm rocking seven windows,
Speaker:six food runners at my back, and the only printer on the line is mine.
Speaker:Once he does catch my eye, Doc says to me, looking back at me through the pass,
Speaker:"Tonight? Don't fuck with my Chi man".
Speaker:See, when you're regulated, your line moves sweeter.
Speaker:Everybody's in rhythm swaying to the beat right in the pocket, five by five.
Speaker:Nights like that when everybody's in sync is the reason why I got into
Speaker:this business in the first place, "the dream of the dance", the community, the
Speaker:fraternity, the bond that can only be forged under fire, chasing the perfect
Speaker:sell, the perfect night, riding the razor's edge until somehow the train
Speaker:stays on the track no matter what, and somewhere in the middle when time slows
Speaker:down, and focus narrows, the organic machine that is we together, hammers it
Speaker:home, and when the last plate is out,
Speaker:the clouds part and there's an angelic choir swinging from the
Speaker:chandelier to a heavy metal symphony.
Speaker:And judging by the sweat stained faces peering back at me through the pass,
Speaker:all wide-eyed and ready for more,.
Speaker:I'm not the only one who hears the music or feels so connected.
Speaker:You got goosebumps yet, you're probably ready to strap on your apron right
Speaker:now and hitch up your clogs because you know what that feels like too?
Speaker:On a night like that, when everything aligns, it all unlocks so perfectly.
Speaker:Questions get asked earlier, support shows up without even being called for.
Speaker:The timing is just fucking sublime.
Speaker:And in a moment like that, I feel so proud and privileged to be part of that crew.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because coherence builds trust.
Speaker:That's what we're building towards.
Speaker:Rock solid, sustainable regenerative trust.
Speaker:Lemme put it another way.
Speaker:My daughter is failing middle school, and I can see the fear in her eyes
Speaker:when she hands me her report card.
Speaker:She expects a lecture, the punishment, the disappointment,
Speaker:and I can feel it rising me.
Speaker:That old chef energy, the need to correct, to fix, to control with
Speaker:something in her face, some mix of shame and resignation stops me cold.
Speaker:I exhale, I breathe just once, all the way in and all the way out.
Speaker:I sit beside her instead of across from her.
Speaker:I ask questions instead of offering answers, and for the first time I hear
Speaker:what she's been trying to tell me.
Speaker:She doesn't need fixing.
Speaker:What she needs is someone to sit with her in the mess until she's
Speaker:strong enough to stand on her own.
Speaker:I pull out a marker and write three words on a sheet of paper.
Speaker:Be, do, have.
Speaker:We talk about how we've been taught to.
Speaker:Have to do more to get more so we can finally be something.
Speaker:But that's backwards.
Speaker:You become who you want to be first, calm, grounded, and
Speaker:curious, and the rest follows.
Speaker:She nods slowly, like she heard something that she didn't know
Speaker:she needed, and I realized I'm not just helping her regulate.
Speaker:I'm actually finally modeling it for her so she could see
Speaker:what it looks like that night.
Speaker:I think about my kitchen and the cooks who come in with shame in their eyes, hoping
Speaker:not to be corrected, but to be seen.
Speaker:I can't breathe with my kid.
Speaker:How can I expect to lead with clarity under pressure?
Speaker:That's the day I stopped using urgency as a leadership style.
Speaker:I started using Breath Chef, let me remind you, your crew is always
Speaker:reading you always, they're looking for an emotional and energetic
Speaker:clue to how this shift will unfold.
Speaker:Is it gonna be smooth and groovy or are we gonna go off the rail sideways?
Speaker:They wanna be prepared for the mayhem or the piece.
Speaker:So they clock you from a mile away and you know that you might even come to expect
Speaker:and enjoy that moment when you walk in the door so that you can set the space
Speaker:and ground everybody with your presence.
Speaker:But before you do, you better pause in the back hallway or the parking lot for
Speaker:a few moments and smooth out your apron.
Speaker:Get steady, do some box breathing.
Speaker:Have some reverence for the moment and opportunity to be
Speaker:in service to your people.
Speaker:Check your uniform.
Speaker:Are you crisp?
Speaker:Then and only then do you make your grand entrance captain
Speaker:on board smooth sailing ahead.
Speaker:Because leadership isn't about control, it's about coherence,
Speaker:and coherence is contagious.
Speaker:As we talked about in module three.
Speaker:Some easy ways to maintain a calm and steady presence is regular exercise,
Speaker:a hobby, meditation, or some type of practice you do to ground yourself.
Speaker:It's gotta be a daily practice, so you can depend on it and others can depend on you.
Speaker:Try a bunch of different techniques.
Speaker:Somatic release, yoga, walking.
Speaker:What matters is you respect yourself and the people in your life enough to care
Speaker:whether you show up, scattered or not.
Speaker:One thing that helps me is maintaining a self-care routine throughout the month,
Speaker:sometimes I meet an old friend for coffee, go to the sauna, take a salt water float.
Speaker:Sometimes I just step in the grass with bare feet feeling connected
Speaker:to the earth in the process.
Speaker:Figure out what grooves you.
Speaker:But the only rule about self-care and self nurture is this, whatever
Speaker:you choose to do, it should only involve and benefit you.
Speaker:That's not to say that others won't enjoy the byproduct of
Speaker:whichever self-care action you take.
Speaker:I mean, I've never heard anyone complain about their partner's new pedicure.
Speaker:This saying, in a life devoted to being in service to others,
Speaker:it's critically important to make sure you serve yourself as well.
Speaker:There will never be a good time or a good enough reason for you to focus.
Speaker:On yourself, but you'll do it anyway because to deny yourself that bit of
Speaker:grace, acceptance and love means that at some point in the future, probably
Speaker:sooner than you think, you'll be backed up, bitter, jaded, and hold everybody
Speaker:else in judgment for the cycle of negativity your life has become.
Speaker:I've been there, seen that movie doesn't end well for anybody.
Speaker:Word.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Wanna go deeper?
Speaker:Okay, Reid, you are the placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Speaker:Specifically the part about elevated emotion and intention, it'll help reframe
Speaker:how you view your thoughts under pressure.
Speaker:I posted a link to a video produced by HeartMath Institute explaining more about
Speaker:heart, brain coherence and team alignment.
Speaker:This isn't fluff, it's physiological presence isn't passive.
Speaker:The chef who learns to reset, regulate and stabilize the room
Speaker:becomes the one others' rise around.
Speaker:And who doesn't wanna be in that room?
Speaker:I hope what you're starting to feel is this.
Speaker:It's not about being the loudest or softest voice or the hardest worker.
Speaker:It's about how you show up in your body, in your breath, in your energy,
Speaker:especially when things get out of hand.
Speaker:Calm is not the absence of chaos.
Speaker:Steady state.
Speaker:Calm is a choice.
Speaker:It's a tool, and it's a skill.
Speaker:Over time, it becomes a signature, something your team comes to recognize,
Speaker:trust, and rely on steady state.
Speaker:Trust doesn't begin with performance, it begins with presence.
Speaker:If your team never knows which version of you they're gonna get
Speaker:today, then they can't relax into their work and they can't relax.
Speaker:They can't perform.
Speaker:That's where we're headed next week.
Speaker:How trust is built, not earned, and how your consistency energetically,
Speaker:emotionally, and relationally becomes the foundation your team stands on.
Speaker:Your challenge for this week is track how your energy flows.
Speaker:Pay attention to who adjusts themselves when you walk into the
Speaker:kitchen, or who avoids eye contact with you, and as something feels off,
Speaker:reset it right then in that moment.
Speaker:Not to be perfect, but to be present.
Speaker:You're not just running the shift, you're shaping the atmosphere, and
Speaker:that's the calm that builds trust.
Speaker:Your group coaching session prompt this week is what energy did you
Speaker:bring into the kitchen this week and how did it impact your team?
Speaker:Come ready to talk about it because I really wanna know in the next module,
Speaker:we're gonna keep stacking, we're bringing your voice back into the room because
Speaker:when your nervous system is steady, your communication gets clearer, and your words
Speaker:start to build trust instead of break it.
Speaker:Bring your truth.
Speaker:Because that's where we grow.
Speaker:Until then, stay tall and frosty and lead from your heart.
