Today’s episode centers on the importance of giving yourself permission to pursue your true desires and make meaningful changes in your life. Kara shares her personal journey of overcoming self-doubt and fear, particularly during her transition from a high-stress career to following her own path. She emphasizes that many people hold themselves back due to limiting beliefs, and she encourages listeners to reflect on what they truly want without seeking validation from others. By outlining practical steps and mindset shifts, Kara inspires her audience to take bold actions and create the life they envision. Whether it's starting a side hustle or pivoting in their careers, the message is clear: you have the power to grant yourself permission to pursue what truly fulfills you.

Takeaways:

• Giving yourself permission is crucial for moving forward in various aspects of life.
• You might be holding back due to fear, but it's essential to take that leap.
• Starting a side hustle can provide a safety net while transitioning careers responsibly.
• It's important to seek advice from those who have the experience you desire.
• You should look inward for permission and validation rather than waiting for others.
• Evaluating both worst and best-case scenarios can help clarify your desires and decisions.

Hey there, I'm Kara and welcome to Design your Dream Life podcast where we dive in and explore how you can use practical personal development to up level your life.

Whether you are looking to have better or deeper relationships, fix your problems with money, learn to love yourself unconditionally, leave a dead end or high stress career, or just want more happiness in your life, my friend, you are in the right place. Are you ready? Oh, my beautiful friends and welcome to another episode of Design youn Dream Life.

I am your host, Kara and I am so excited you're here today. Today we are going to talk about permission. Giving ourselves permission to do the things that we truly really want to do.

And so what do I mean by giving yourself permission? Well, I don't know, is there anything that you're maybe sitting on that you're just talking yourself into staying?

Because really you're not giving yourself permission to move forward because maybe you're scared, maybe there's fear, maybe there is a whole lot of things going on and it feels better to stay where you are than to give yourself permission to go and do something new. The first thing I want to say is when you decide that you want to do something different, it is so easy for you to quickly talk yourself out of it.

So when I was a CEO of the multimillion dollar Facebook ads agency and I decided I just couldn't do this anymore, like I, I didn't recognize who I was, I didn't like who I was showing up at work. And it was really fascinating to me because it was the first time in my life that I truly lost who I.

And not in my personal life, but in my professional life. And in my professional life it was just like, I don't know, I just was so disconnected from who I was and I wasn't happy with that.

And I needed to give myself permission to leave, permission to change. And I remember having the conversation and we decided that I was going to head up a new division in the company instead of just leaving the company.

And it was just like, okay, fine. And so I was still working for the company. I launched the new division, we were doing okay. I went on that vacation and on that European vacation.

I knew in my gut that I wanted to do something on my own, but I didn't give myself permission to do it. I was just like, oh, I would really love it.

But I just, you know, I was like, I'm not going to quit my job because I need the stability and the financial, like the money. I can't just up and quit my job when I get home. Haha, funny way that the universe delivers that to me because I get home and I'm downsized.

So there you go.

I mean, and in that moment, right, I gave myself true permission to go out on my own, really to bet and go all in on me instead of going for another job. Now I did have a little bit of savings, a little bit of a nest egg, not a whole lot. So there was stress and I would never recommend doing that.

Like to me, if you, especially if you're like listening to this and you are in a soul sucking job that you hate or you're just in a job that you don't like or you want to transition into something else but you have no idea how to do it.

Honestly, my best recommendation is to start a side hustle of certain kind, to get your feet wet, learn what you're doing and then when you've built it enough, leave the other thing. I feel like that is the most responsible thing to do. I think that is the least stressful thing to do. Yeah, sure.

Are you going to get tired and you're going to be a little more wore out? Yeah. But let me tell you, when you are trying to start something new and you've cut off all your income, boy, that is a scary place to be.

So I, I personally don't recommend it. Even though that was my path, I feel like that was the path that was presented to me, so I just took it.

But I gave myself permission to actually take the leap.

And so maybe some of you listening here are having a lot of limiting beliefs and a lot of thoughts and you're not really giving yourself permission to leave something. Not necessarily like this could not even be a job like giving yourself permission to leave something that's no longer serving you. Right.

And I think if you really look inwards and you know, like you, you know the answer, right?

And so if there is something that's going on in your life that's like, you know, I really want to start a side hustle or I want to learn a new skill and I want to pivot out of my career, or maybe you're currently in a business and you hate it, like that is possible. Well, give yourself permission to pivot. Give yourself permission to find out how to make it more enjoyable for you. Right.

You don't have to stay where you are just because you are allowed to create change in your life. Right.

And I will tell you, I think being able to take bold action like that can just leap you forward in so many areas of your life, you know, you're never ready. Like, we never feel ready, right? Like, take this podcast, for example. I've been sitting on it for such a long time, and I love doing it.

And obviously I'm a talker, so I, I love sharing all of this stuff, but I sat on it for so long because I didn't necessarily give myself permission to go out and actually do. And now I'm like, okay, I love this.

Like, I love sitting here and sharing my journey, my stories, and any type of wisdom that I can give to you that might help you get through something quicker or change your perspective on something. Because let's be real, that is what life is about, is it's all about perspective, your perspective.

And how can you change your perspective on anything, right?

And so I think if you, if there's something that you want to do, if there is, and it could be anything in your life, and you are not necessarily giving yourself permission to go there, I want to give you that permission today. I want you to say to yourself, like, yeah, you know what? I am going to try this.

And you know, it might not work out and it could be so damn scary, and I can do hard things, and I am going to give myself permission to go and do this thing. Yes, I am going to give myself permission. Because why do we wait for permission?

I will say, like so many people, it's like, let's say maybe you have this idea and you go and ask like five of your friends, and like, maybe four of them say, oh, that's stupid. And one's like, yeah, you know what I mean? It's not about them, it's about you.

And here's the reality is that while I believe, like, I value people's opinions, there are certain people's opinions I don't value in certain things. So example, if I had a business decision to make, like a really hard business decision to make, would I ask my husband about it? No.

Would I ask my mother about it? No. Why? Because I love them dearly. They have no experience in business. I have other friends who run seven and eight figure companies.

I would reach out to them. Right? Doesn't that make sense? It's just like if you're asking for marital advice from somebody who's divorced, really, you know what I mean?

You should be talking to people. When you're talking to them about things, you should be talking to people who have what you desire.

Because the reality is everybody wants to offer advice, but if you've never done the thing, how can you actually give advice on how to achieve it? Right. Our social circle is huge.

And sometimes we go into that social circle and we start dipping our toes and be like, hey, guys, what do you think if I were to do this? Do you guys think because you're. You're waiting for them to give you permission to go do the thing, right, you're unsure of it?

So you're like, hey, what do you guys think about me doing xyz? Do you think that's, like, a really good idea? That's you searching for. For permission?

You could also say to yourself, well, that's me trying to validate my idea. But again, if they're not your ideal person, like, how are you validating it through them? Right?

So really what we're trying to do is we're trying to solidify that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if. If I get enough yeses, then that's easier for me to convince myself to give myself permission. Right?

Where if there is something that you want to do, what I would encourage you to do is write out, what do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? Why do you feel passionate about it? And then sometimes I go a step further because I'm a what ifr?

And I'm like, what if this goes extremely wrong? What is all my brain needs to go there? So for me, I'm like, okay, what is the worst thing that could happen if I do xyz? Right?

Okay, this is all the worst stuff. Okay, what is the best case scenario? Okay, here's all that. And for me, I just get all my brain out there.

But then I go back and look at why do I really want to do this? And then if I'm reading that and it's lighting me up and it's making me feel good, then I'm literally like, okay, I'm going to do this.

Like, give yourself permission to do it. Like, you're. Go ahead, you can do it. Right? So we think in this scenario of, do we need to look outside of ourselves for permission?

The answer is absolutely no. Right? You have all the wisdom. You have everything you need to make any decision on what you want to do in your life.

It's just, you have to be brave enough to listen. And so with that, my friends, this is going to be a super short episode.

And I am hoping that whatever might be on your mind, that you need to give yourself permission, that you go and do those steps and allow yourself to go into the next chapter of your life giving yourself permission to do the things that you truly want to do.