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The Journey of Joy and Grief: Navigating Motherhood Through Loss with Barb Higgins
Episode 399th January 2024 • Life, Loss and Motherhood • Vallen Webb
00:00:00 01:11:18

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Today I have the absolute honor and pleasure to talk with Barb Higgins. This woman is a culmination of so many things I don't know how to explain all she is and all she does. I hope you get so much out of this episode, I know I did. She has a way of making you feel comfortable and safe. Throughout her story, Barb emphasizes the importance of community and support for mothers who have experienced child loss. This conversation explores the themes of connection and support, grief and loneliness, the special bond between mothers and babies, the impact of baby loss on the holidays, creating new traditions, avoiding holidays and grief, and finding joy in the chaos of parenting.

Takeaways

  • Child loss is an isolating experience, and mothers need to find a supportive community to connect with.
  • Mothers who have experienced child loss have a unique bond and understanding of each other's grief.
  • The journey of motherhood can be filled with both joy and tragedy, and it is important to celebrate and remember all of our children, regardless of how long they were with us.
  • Health issues and complications can impact pregnancy and childbirth, and it is important to have a supportive medical team.
  • Sharing our stories and experiences can help others going through similar situations feel less alone and provide them with hope and support. Grieving parents often find solace and support in connecting with others who have experienced similar losses.

  • Guilt and self-blame are common reactions to the loss of a child, but it's important to remember that it's not the parent's fault.
  • The bond between mothers and babies is special and continues even after the baby's death.
  • Miscarriage and stillbirth are significant losses that deserve acknowledgment and support.
  • Ultrasound memories can be cherished by parents and serve as a connection to their lost child.
  • The reality of baby loss is unimaginable to those who haven't experienced it.
  • The holidays can be particularly challenging for grieving parents, and it's important to find ways to navigate them.
  • Creating new traditions can help grieving parents cope with the holidays and find meaning in their grief.
  • Easing back into holiday celebrations after the loss of a child can be a gradual process.

  • Laughter can be a powerful tool for coping with grief and finding moments of joy.
  • Acknowledging grief instead of cheerleading can be more helpful and supportive to grieving parents.
  • The grieving process is unique to each individual and may take longer than expected.
  • Assimilating traumatic events takes time and involves processing and grieving.
  • The five-year mark is often mentioned as a significant milestone in the grieving process.

  • Finding joy in the chaos of parenting can be a way to honor and remember the lost child.

Barb is the mother of 4 children, two of whom live in heaven. Having a baby boy at 57 culminated a challenging 5-year journey following the death of her 13-year-old daughter. A teacher, coach, and elite athlete Barb is skilled at using life's tragedies to create life's victories. She hosts a podcast called, A Thousand Tiny Little Steps. Along with the podcast, Barb Higgins aims to create a community in which those who feel unsupported or unheard in their grief and/or trauma can come together to learn from the stories of others and themselves.

The mission is to help those affected by grief and trauma find their way to a place of forgiveness and healing. Through relevant content that aims to minimize the effects of grief and trauma, listeners will learn that happiness can be found in grief and create a path toward joy one step at a time.

You can find her at

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