Introducing episode 3 of our Lent 2025 podcast series, The Joy of Saying Sorry, bought to you by St Augustine’s College of Theology.

This week, The Revd Dr Rebecca Swyer explores how saying sorry isn’t about guilt or shame but the deep joy of making peace with God.

Through personal stories and worldly reflections, she talks about how small moments of repentance can transform our hearts and bring us closer to God. 

As we journey from Lent to Easter, we invite you to see repentance as a way to freedom, renewal and joy.

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A few weeks ago I happened

to have the radio on

as I was driving to church.

A woman was telling the story

of her relationship with her

husband, from when they met

to the present day, some 40 years later.

With refreshing honesty

and a splash of humor,

she included their ups and downs.

The presenter was quite moved

and said, we all love a good love story,

that's what Sunday mornings are for.

My immediate reaction was

to shout at the radio

in a rather irate voice:

No, it's not. It's about going to church.

Then there was a pause,

and I said sorry to God

for being a grumpy deacon

and thought, actually going to

church is about a love story,

the love story between God and humanity.

The theme of this Lenten talk

is the joy of saying sorry.

Perhaps this seems a rather

strange title to you.

What on earth has saying sorry got to do

with being joyful.

We probably all remember our

parents making us say sorry

to the brother or sister

we've just done something mean to.

We might well have muttered the word sorry

through gritted teeth and

not actually meant it at all.

Yet in the Christian faith, saying sorry

and joy are closely

connected, or should be.

Sometimes Christians are caricatured

as people hung up about guilt,

who suck the fun out of life

by disapproving of the

things people enjoy.

But at the heart of our faith

is this love story between God

and humanity, a love which

overcomes sin, darkness,

and even death.

In his letter to the Romans, St.

Paul says, for I'm convinced

that neither death nor life

nor angels nor rulers, nor things present,

nor things to come, nor

powers nor height, nor depth,

nor anything else in all

creation, will be able

to separate us from the love

of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So in this talk I'm going to

be exploring this relationship

between saying sorry and joy

in the Christian faith.

We are going to begin

by reflecting on being human

and our relationship with

God, which sweeps across time

and eternity.

We are then going to think

about how Christians have sought

to find constructive ways

of engaging with the reality

of human behavior, for the

benefit of our relationships

with one another and with God.

I'm also going to make some

suggestions about questions you

might like to prayerfully

ponder afterwards.

At the very beginning of the

Bible in the book of Genesis,

we are told that God made

humanity as the pinnacle

of creation. Whereas the rest

of the created world is

described in details in terms

of appearance and

contribution to the world,

we are told that God created

humankind in his image.

In the image of God, he created the male

and female, he created

them, God bless them,

and God said to them,

be fruitful and multiply

and fill the earth and subdue it

and have dominion over the fish of the sea

and over the birds of the air

and over every living thing

that moves upon the earth.

Humanity is then different,

made in God's image

and given dominion over creation.

We are told that God saw

everything that he had made

and indeed it was very good.

So what happened?

Well, the very familiar

story of Adam and Eve

and the Garden of Eden follows. Both Adam

and Eve succumb to temptation

when the serpent offers Eve

an apple from the tree from

which they were forbidden

to eat, then she shares it

with Adam. Eve blames the serpent,

and Adam blames Eve, neither

taking responsibility

for their actions.

Whilst God dispels Adam

and Eve from the Garden of Eden,

he doesn't completely condemn them.

God curses the serpent,

but not Adam and Eve.

It's God who makes them garments to wear.

They still have their dignity.

God gives them the capacity to care for

and benefit from the fruits of the earth.

God drives them out of Eden,

but he continues to have

a relationship with them.

So whilst the creation

stories in Genesis do seek

to explain why human

beings are a mix of good

and bad, we must be careful not to suggest

that God in any way stops

loving Adam and Eve.

Indeed, the story arc covering the rest

of the Bible is about God's

continuing love for humanity.

He doesn't give up on us

even when people turned

away from him.

The Psalms speak profoundly

of a God who has known

and loved us from the

moment of our creation.

Psalm 139 says, oh Lord, you

have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down

and when I rise up, you discern

my thoughts from far away.

Even before a word is

on my tongue, oh Lord,

you know it completely.

For it was you who

formed my in most parts.

You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you for I am

fearfully and wonderfully made.

God knows us to the depth of our being

and still loves us completely.

Yet we also know that the

first part of the story arc

of God's relationship with

humanity is of a people

that didn't listen to God.

Despite having a clear summary

of living well in the 10

commandments and numerous prophets

and figures pointing to God.

It's significant that when Jacob wrestled

with the angel next to the river

Jabbok, he's renamed Israel,

which means wrestling with God

and this was the name given

to God's chosen people.

So there's something

complex about human beings

and their behaviour in relation to God

and we see in every person

both goodness and sin.

Sin is both an individual

and a communal thing.

Behaviour and decisions

that separate an individual

or group of people from

God, something that masks

who we really are, who

God's created us to be.

Sin brings chaos and turbulence

into lives in communities.

Sin can be like a block in

the road of someone's life

that they can't see past. It's dangerous

also to think of sin just as

a private and individual thing,

because who we are and

what we do affects others.

Imagine that a person committing

a sin is a bit like a rock

being thrown into a pond.

There's an immediate splash

and turbulence round the rock

and where it falls.

This is the immediate impact

it has on our own lives when we

sin, but the ripples from

the splash then continue

to ripple outwards hitting

other objects in their path

and ricocheting off them

causing other ripples.

As they touch the bank,

they might still not stop,

but will often then start

a new waves spiralling back

out on the pond.

You can see this sort

of reaction when someone

hurts another person,

which in turn could even

lead them to hurt others.

This isn't a joyful picture, is it?

But we get to the New Testament

where we hear the story

of our God who loved us so

much that he sent his only son

that we could be saved.

It's in the incarnation of

Jesus Christ that we see love

for humanity personified.

The New Testament has repentance

and the joy of the

gospel at its very heart.

Mark's gospel begins with

these words, the beginning

of the good news of Jesus

Christ, the Son of God.

Mark then quotes from

the prophet Isaiah, see,

I am sending my messenger ahead of you

who will prepare your way.

The voice of one crying

out in the wilderness,

prepare the way of the Lord,

make his path straight.

After John the Baptist was

arrested, Mark says, Jesus came

to Galilee proclaiming

the good news of God,

and saying the time is fulfilled

and the kingdom of God

has come near. Repent

and believe in the good news.

So the first 15 verses of

Mark's gospel cut to the chase,

the gospel is good news.

God has prepared the path ahead

to be made straight for us.

The kingdom of God is here.

And finally, the call to repent

and believe in the good news. Saying sorry

for sin and joy about the good news

of the gospel are central to our faith.

The disciples who travelled

with Jesus heard the good news.

Over shared meals

they experienced firsthand

how God was making possible

a new intimacy with human beings.

They heard through his teaching

and parables about God's

kingdom, often taking shape in

unlikely places within the

chaos of our sinful world.

When they travelled with him,

they witnessed his compassion

for the suffering and outcasts

and a different perspective

on looking at their past

and what was possible in

the present and future.

They also of course, witnessed

Jesus' suffering at the hands

of others, being scapegoated,

mocked, scoured,

and ultimately put to death.

Yet sin and death don't

have the last word.

Jesus Christ rises again, defeating sin

and death for all eternity.

In the darkness of the

tomb, the place of death,

the mysterious light

of the resurrection is transformational.

Jesus Christ who has died rose again.

Then we see the disciples

becoming apostles, transformed

by the Holy Spirit who

is promised to us always.

We see people becoming

Christians, hearing the gospel,

believing, repenting,

and turning to Christ

and experiencing his new life.

We see people whose lives are transformed.

We see the joy of saying sorry.

In the New Testament, in the gospels

and the various letters, we see

that Jesus' authority over

sin became a foundational

dimension of the earliest

followers and the early church.

Jesus shared this authority

with his apostles.

When Jesus asked Simon Peter

who he thought Jesus was,

Simon said, you are the Messiah,

the son of the living God.

Jesus responds, I tell you, you are Peter

and on this rock I will build my church

and the gates of Hades will

not prevail against it.

I will give you the keys

of the kingdom of heaven

and whatever you bind on

earth will be bound in heaven,

and whatever you loose on

earth will be loosed in heaven.

This is sometimes referred

to as the power of the keys.

It isn't about the

apostles being superhuman,

but about them sharing in Jesus's ministry

and authority over sin.

This is still true of bishops

and priests who have the

authority to forgive sins,

but they're not forgiving

sins in their own strength,

but sharing in the

ministry of Jesus Christ,

he's the only saviour of our souls.

Paul says All this is from God

who reconciled us to himself

through Christ and has

given us the ministry

of reconciliation.

Whilst one dimension of this

is the power of the gospel

to transform the life

of an individual person,

we also see in the New Testament

that the church community

itself was defined by the power

of reconciliation.

To become a member of the

church, you first need to repent

and be baptised.

In Acts, Peter tells the

people of Jerusalem: repent

and be baptised every one of

you in the name of Jesus Christ,

so that your sins may be forgiven

and you will receive the

gift of the Holy Spirit.

Saying sorry in Christian

terms is never enough

though in itself.

The New Testament Greek word

used here is metanoia. Saying

sorry, but actually turning

to Christ and away from sin.

It therefore encompasses

a commitment to changing

and living differently. Really

then it's a sort of conversion

of life that we're talking

about, a turning round of the way

that you live your life.

And this is of course

what baptism is about.

A once and for all sacrament

where our sins are washed away

and we are incorporated

into Christ's body,

The church. This isn't

just a passive event,

repentance of sin and

profession of faith must come

before baptism itself.

What's very evident in Paul's

letters in particular is

that the grace received in

baptism didn't mean people

stopped sinning.

And you can sense at

times Paul's exasperation.

He pleads with Christian

communities to behave in a way

that's worthy of their calling.

Paul talks regularly

about the call to holiness

and seeking to be conformed

to the pattern of Christ.

Paul also makes clear the communal impact

of an individual sinning.

It can change a Christian

community in the same way yeast

can change a dough to

either raise or deflate it.

Therefore, the church must be

a community built on metanoia

and living a life worthy of God's call.

It's quite reassuring in some ways

that we can recognise ourselves

in the earliest Christians

and early church, they're

normal human beings

who make mistakes, sometimes

argue over mundane things.

So how is saying sorry

and repenting linked to joy

in the life of the church?

Aside from initial conversion

and transformation in

baptism, all Christians need

to keep reaffirming and

living out that calling,

and the promises made to turn

to Christ and repent of sin.

The church has developed

different opportunities for us

to do this as individuals

and also together as a church community.

First, we shouldn't falsely

separate baptism, confirmation,

Eucharist and healing.

There's a thread running

through which is about

living out Christ's call.

Sometimes being called

back when we meander

or lose our way a bit.

In the Church of England,

confirmation's often at a separate

occasion from baptism,

and becomes an opportunity

for the candidate

to reaffirm their baptismal promises

to turn away from sin and to Christ.

The bishop lays on hands

and may anoint the confirmand

before they go on to

receive holy communion

At every Eucharist,

and indeed at most services of the word,

there will be a time

of saying sorry to God,

expressing penitence

to him and one another,

and seeking his forgiveness.

This will be followed by

some form of absolution,

God taking away our sins

through Jesus Christ

and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Again

before receiving communion

will be a sharing

of the sign of peace.

God's peace means an end to conflict,

and this action means we

are expressing the desire

to be at peace with, to

be reconciled with God,

but also our brothers and sisters

in Christ. We say the peace

of the Lord be always with you

and also with you.

Receiving holy communion

is food to sustain us

for the journey of our

lives being strengthened

by the presence of Jesus Christ.

Every Christian is on

this journey of holiness,

a word linked to wholeness.

Each of us should be becoming

the person God created us

to be, not remaining content

to be stuck repeating the same

mistakes over and over again.

Second, it's no accident

that we have this long season

from Lent to Pentecost.

We can make the mistake of just

looking at Lent in isolation,

and whilst a distinct season,

Lent only makes sense within

the context of Easter

and Pentecost. Lent's a

traditional time for penitence

and self-examination,

but those things aren't

an end in themselves.

Lent is in time of preparation for Easter.

Indeed, Eastern Orthodox

Christians will sometimes call it

the season of bright sadness.

Even the word Lent comes

from a word meaning spring,

of cutting back, but

also a time of new growth

and preparing for

blossoming and fruitfulness.

Then we travel through holy

week following the passion

of our Lord Jesus Christ to

his resurrection on Easter Day.

In the weeks of Easter

tide, we celebrate the joy

and mysterious experience of

the resurrection in our lives

and world, culminating in the coming

of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.

So we've formed through

this journey from Lent

to Pentecost each year,

hopefully each time entering

more deeply the mystery growing

closer to him.

Third, the church community

very early on developed ways

of dealing with sin.

Nowadays we use the word

excommunication in a rather slang

way to mean someone's totally expelled

or shut out of something.

However, excommunication was

the way the earlier Christians

addressed serious sins, not

by expelling the sinners,

but seeking reconciliation

of the penitent individual

with God and with their church community.

The penitent still attended the

first part of the Eucharist,

so they had the chance to hear the word

of God proclaimed in scripture

and expounded in preaching.

They left the worship

before holy communion.

Hence the phrase

excommunion, excommunication.

The clergy spent time

with individual penitents,

talking and counselling them in

order that they could be reconciled

with their church community at Easter.

Over the centuries,

the church also developed the possibility

of individual confession,

and it's important we don't

merely form our understanding

of this through films and TV.

At the heart of this

sacramental act is an individual

Christian knowing in the depths

of their being the good

news of the gospel.

In Jesus' ministry, we regularly

hear people speak to him

of their lives, problems or

concerns, their mistakes.

He responds with words

that speak of God's love

and the transforming power of the gospel.

This is what we call

auricular confession, speaking

and being heard.

The priest will often sit

sideways on, for this reason,

you're speaking into God's ear.

It is Jesus Christ who

forgive sins, working in

and through the priest.

The priest proclaims God's

forgiveness, not their own.

And of course, to be

forgiven, we must say sorry

and really mean it.

Remembering that God knows

the secrets of our hearts.

Indeed, at the ending of the

rite of individual confession,

the priest says, go and

pray for me a sinner

also. Making your

individual confession isn't

something we must do, but

it can be very powerful

and could almost physically

feel that the weight

of sin is being lifted.

It can therefore be transformative

and is all about helping

someone to be reconciled to God

and to the Christian community.

So what does this all mean for us?

The bottom line is that we're

all sinful. We make mistakes,

say the wrong things, can be

unkind or selfish.

Sin can manifest itself

in all sorts of ways.

What we can't do is

brush it under the carpet

and pretend sin isn't

part of our own lives.

If we are called by God

to become more Christ-like

and grow into the best people

he created us to be, we have

to know ourselves as we really are.

This starts with the joy of

the good news of the gospel

and that God loves each of us

and knows us better

than we know ourselves.

Naming or acknowledging our sins

before God isn't going to

bring him any surprises.

Some of you will have seen the

film Groundhog Day when the

same thing happens over and over again,

and as we get better at naming our sins,

we'll also hopefully

get better at spotting

and stopping repeating

patterns, those besetting sins

that we are susceptible to

committing over and over again.

Sometimes we are able to believe

that other people are forgiven

but aren't good at believing

that we are worthy of forgiveness.

When asked about the greatest

commandment, Jesus responds,

you shall love the Lord your

God with all your heart,

with all your soul, and with all your mind

and with all your strength.

The second is this, you

shall love your neighbour

as yourself, loving God our neighbour,

but also loving ourselves.

Unconditional love is at the heart

of our relationship with God.

Nothing we say or do

can stop him loving us,

and he wants us to know

and experience that,

and bask in the light and joy of his love.

So some questions and things

for you to think about

this Lent related to the

joy of saying sorry.

First, what is weighing you down

that you might need to say sorry for?

Second, could you consider

setting aside some time

to prayerfully prepare a list of your sins

and bring it to God?

You might want to try arriving

at church a bit earlier

before the service, to

prayerfully prepare for worship

in this way. You might even want

to consider approaching a priest

for sacramental confession.

Third, are there mistakes you repeat,

or weaknesses in your

personality and character?

What's the one thing you

could work on or do this Lent?

Fourth, how can this Lent

be a time when we focus on

preparing ourselves for

living in the new light

and joy of Easter?

And finally, you might want to listen to

or sing the wonderfully inspiring hymn

And Can It Be by Charles

Wesley, which captures

so well the joy of saying sorry.