Shownotes
Welcome to a special Valentine's Day episode of the Money Talk with Tiff podcast! In this episode, Tiffany Grant dives into the often challenging topic of managing money in relationships. From reasons why couples argue about money to strategies for effective money management as a couple, Tiffany shares valuable insights and tips to help lovebirds navigate their finances harmoniously.
Whether it's discussing financial infidelity, income inequality, joint finances, or creating a joint financial plan, this episode covers it all. Tiffany also shares romantic financial planning ideas for couples to celebrate Valentine's Day.
So, grab a seat, cuddle up with your partner, and get ready for an episode that could make a positive impact on your relationship and financial future.
Timestamps
[00:00] Respect different perspectives to facilitate smoother conversations.
[05:31] Income inequality creates financial strain in relationships.
[07:40] Merging vs. separate accounts for couples' finances
[12:30] "Start joint savings challenge for a future date."
[15:12] Podcast host invites feedback and upcoming episodes.
Key Takeaways
- Money issues in relationships: Different spending habits, financial infidelity, income inequality.
- Managing finances as a couple: Merging vs. separate accounts, expense splitting, joint financial planning.
- Communication and transparency: Open conversations, setting financial boundaries, discussing goals.
- Building trust: Avoiding financial arguments, mutual agreement on expenses, regular expense review.
- Romantic financial planning: Joint savings challenge, budget-friendly date ideas, DIY gifts.
- Tailored approach to finances: N
- No one-size-fits-all, understanding relationship dynamics, adjusting plans as necessary.
Additional Links & Resources
Copyright 2024 Tiffany Grant
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy
Transcripts
You know what it is. That's right. It's time to talk money with your
Speaker:money nerd and financial coach. Now tighten those purse
Speaker:strings and open those ears. It's the money talk with tiff
Speaker:podcast. Hey, hey, and welcome
Speaker:to a special Valentine's Day episode of the
Speaker:Money Talk with TIff podcast. This is usually
Speaker:Tiffany's take where I answer your money question. So to get your
Speaker:question answered on the podcast, just go to ww dot
Speaker:moneytalkwitht.com xtiffany. But since
Speaker:we're so close to Valentine's day, I figured, why not do a
Speaker:couples in money episode for all the couples and lovebirds out
Speaker:there? I know that managing money in a relationship
Speaker:is hard. I have been through it before,
Speaker:and I just wanted to share just
Speaker:some tips and tricks and things of that nature when
Speaker:it comes to sharing money with your partner. Now,
Speaker:I say partner because it doesn't have to be a spouse. I know that there
Speaker:are couples out there that cohabitate. They live together,
Speaker:and they share money, too. And so this is for
Speaker:people that do share money with their partner.
Speaker:This episode should help you out a little bit. So, first
Speaker:and foremost, what are some reasons why couples may
Speaker:argue about money? So, number one, and this is what I
Speaker:see most often in working with clients, is different spending
Speaker:habits. So one partner may be a saver while the other is a
Speaker:spender. Sometimes both are spenders, but what they spend on is two
Speaker:different things. They're like, well, why do you have to buy a car?
Speaker:Well, why do you have to buy clothes? That type of thing. So
Speaker:usually, different spending habits is one of the main
Speaker:motivators of why couples argue about money.
Speaker:And the thing is, nobody's right or wrong. And that
Speaker:is another thing that I see as well. You may be thinking, well,
Speaker:since this is how you spend money, this is the right way to do it.
Speaker:And the other person's wrong. Well, really what it is is we all
Speaker:grow up differently, and so we all have different things
Speaker:that influence us. We had different upbringings, so on and
Speaker:so forth. And so I urge you to take the approach of
Speaker:not saying, well, your way is the wrong way and my way is the right
Speaker:way. Have some compassion when you are talking
Speaker:to your significant other partner, spouse, whoever, and
Speaker:understand that their lens may be different than theirs, and then approach
Speaker:the conversation in that way. I can tell you that that definitely
Speaker:helps the conversation flow a little smoothly, a little more
Speaker:smoothly. So try to see things from
Speaker:their point of view. And if you don't know how
Speaker:your partner grew up. Ask them. I always
Speaker:tell people it's great to get to know who you're
Speaker:with on that level. Like, what were their parents like growing
Speaker:up? How did their parents interact with money? What did they see?
Speaker:All of these questions are great to
Speaker:dive a little deeper into their thought process. And you can probably
Speaker:google some questions you should ask your partner when it comes to
Speaker:their money or what have you. Just make sure that when you do it, you
Speaker:do it from a place of love, caring, and truly wanting to
Speaker:understand, not as a method to attack. Okay.
Speaker:All right, so number two, financial infidelity. So this
Speaker:is like concealing large purchases, debts, or accounts from one
Speaker:another. And the social media post was saying, should I tell my
Speaker:fiance because she just got proposed to, that I have six figures in
Speaker:student loan debt? And in the comments,
Speaker:the answers really varied. One person I
Speaker:remember, though, they were like, no, secure the ring first. And I'm
Speaker:like, woo. Red flag. You should
Speaker:absolutely have these open conversations
Speaker:with whoever you are looking to marry
Speaker:because it could help or hurt one or both of you,
Speaker:honestly. And so sometimes you'll realize that
Speaker:having these conversations and understanding what each other's
Speaker:goals are, you make him work together. Like, what
Speaker:if in that situation, she told him that she has six
Speaker:figures of student loans? Maybe he already paid off his, and he's
Speaker:like, you know what? I can help you get these paid off.
Speaker:You don't know unless you have those conversations, right? So
Speaker:please, I urge you, going back to the first
Speaker:point, have these conversations openly and honestly. If
Speaker:someone's willing to judge you about your financial situation
Speaker:and then therefore not get married or not be in a relationship
Speaker:anymore, maybe that's what needs to happen.
Speaker:Honestly, you need to be with
Speaker:someone that can understand and fully support you in
Speaker:whatever way you're coming to the relationship.
Speaker:And then with the couples that are already together,
Speaker:you shouldn't have to hide purchases. If you do, you
Speaker:should really evaluate what is going on here, because
Speaker:usually financial infidelity
Speaker:stems from something else. And so kind of dig a
Speaker:little bit and see why do I feel the need to hide these purchases?
Speaker:Or why do they feel a need to hide these purchases? Is it because I'm
Speaker:judgmental? Or is it because I feel guilty?
Speaker:Like, what is the feeling behind that? And then that'll help you kind
Speaker:of dig into that. Okay, the next one. Income
Speaker:inequality. So disagreements can arise when one partner earns
Speaker:significantly more than the other. I have seen this at play
Speaker:a few times where one person feels like they
Speaker:should be making more than the other person, but
Speaker:that's just not how things play out. And so they're like,
Speaker:okay, well, you still need to come up with half of everything, which
Speaker:is fine, if that's what you all agree upon. But do
Speaker:understand, if there's an income inequality,
Speaker:then how do we make this where one person's not struggling
Speaker:and the other person is living their best life? So
Speaker:really think about how can we make this an equitable
Speaker:situation if there's some income inequality there?
Speaker:All right, so according to a survey by
Speaker:SunTrust Bank, 35% of respondents name money as
Speaker:the primary cause of friction in their relationship. Financial
Speaker:disagreements increase the likelihood of divorce and can lead to trust
Speaker:issues. I mean, imagine if you are dealing with
Speaker:financial infidelity or you are the one that is financially
Speaker:hiding things, then how is the other person supposed to trust you?
Speaker:Or how are you supposed to trust the other person? So that's
Speaker:why money is usually one of the main causes of
Speaker:divorce or issues in a relationship. So, now that we've
Speaker:talked about money talk in a relationship, let's talk
Speaker:about money management in relationships. So I get this question
Speaker:quite often, how should we manage our money as a couple?
Speaker:And I always say, it depends. Okay?
Speaker:Because really, it depends on your
Speaker:relationship dynamic. It depends on what will make
Speaker:you all feel more cohesive as a couple.
Speaker:Sometimes merging finances. So that is when
Speaker:you have one bank account, you are both working from the same bank
Speaker:account. Sometimes that can go well, but in other
Speaker:situations, it can go really bad. So you have
Speaker:to look at both positions. It could foster
Speaker:unity and transparency. You can't hide anything.
Speaker:You are both working together from the same pot of money,
Speaker:usually towards the same goals, but it can also lead to
Speaker:disagreements over your individual spending. So, for
Speaker:instance, if you like to order Uber Eats or
Speaker:Doordash and the other partner doesn't agree with that,
Speaker:well, if you merge your finances, then they're going to
Speaker:see every time that you spend on Doordash. And if it
Speaker:starts inching into the goals that you all set, it's
Speaker:going to be a problem. And so
Speaker:merging accounts and having one account does have its pros and
Speaker:cons. Now, let's talk about separate, right? Because
Speaker:you each can have your own separate account and then work
Speaker:from that, and then make sure that you just have your
Speaker:portion of the bills or however you all want to do it. Now,
Speaker:that allows for financial independence, so you don't have to answer to anybody
Speaker:about how you're spending any of the money. But it also could
Speaker:potentially create communication gaps because you don't really have to talk about
Speaker:it, all you have to do is make sure you have your half, and that's
Speaker:it. Okay? So really think about
Speaker:will merging our finances work, or will
Speaker:maintaining separate accounts work for us? And like I said, it just depends
Speaker:on the couple. So there's no one size fit. All. All that social
Speaker:media talk you see. Oh, if you're married, you should definitely have a joint
Speaker:account. Not necessarily. It doesn't work for
Speaker:everybody. I've seen couples that don't have joint
Speaker:accounts that are super happy in their relationship and never have money
Speaker:issues because they realize that separate accounts actually
Speaker:just works better for them. It's okay. Now, you could
Speaker:also do a combination of the two, where you have
Speaker:one joint bill account where all the bill money and
Speaker:everything goes, and then you have your separate accounts for separate
Speaker:spending for all the things that you want to do. Now,
Speaker:I've seen this work for couples as well. We have the transparency
Speaker:aspect, where we're merging for the bills and all our
Speaker:joint financial plans, which I'll talk about later. But then
Speaker:we also have a separate account where if I decide that I want to eat
Speaker:doordash or uber eats, it's fine. I can do that as long as
Speaker:I have money in this account. So that's a way where you can do a
Speaker:combination of both. And I've seen that work as well.
Speaker:So another thing that you should absolutely talk about in your relationship
Speaker:is expense splitting. So discuss
Speaker:who should pay what ahead of time. So
Speaker:have a mutual agreement. That way, you avoid misunderstandings. And
Speaker:this is perfect for the money dates that I tell my
Speaker:couples to have. And even if you're single, have a money date with yourself. But
Speaker:that's for another episode. But the money date you all should have, where
Speaker:you're sitting down and you're talking about, okay, what
Speaker:do we want to spend our money on this month? How did we spend our
Speaker:money last month? Are we still on track for our goals? So
Speaker:on and so forth. So, during your money date, make sure that
Speaker:you agree on who is paying for what, what you're spending
Speaker:on. And that way, throughout the month, you're not having all of
Speaker:these little bitty fights that usually blow up into
Speaker:big ones when you already know ahead of time
Speaker:what's going on. So highly recommend that you have those conversations,
Speaker:and then also just regularly review your expenses, set
Speaker:financial boundaries, and always, always discuss your
Speaker:financial goals. Okay, so now let's talk about
Speaker:creating a joint financial plan. So the importance
Speaker:of this is it creates a sense of partnership and can help
Speaker:avoid financial arguments. Which we just talked about. It also
Speaker:allows for transparency about income, debts, and financial goals.
Speaker:And it's crucial to successful financial planning. So
Speaker:even if you all decide on separate accounts, you should still have these
Speaker:conversations because it's important to know what's going on,
Speaker:how you all are operating, is there anything you all can help each other
Speaker:with? And so on and so forth. Like if you're a spender and your
Speaker:partner is a saver, maybe they can help you spend less.
Speaker:Maybe you can help them spend more. But you don't know
Speaker:unless you have these conversations. Also, set some common
Speaker:financial goals. Decide on savings and spending limits,
Speaker:and regularly review and adjust this plan as
Speaker:necessary. So make sure that you all are
Speaker:creating a joint plan, even if things are
Speaker:separate, because it does help you both get
Speaker:further faster. So since this is a Valentine's Day
Speaker:special, let's talk about some romantic financial
Speaker:planning.
Speaker:So maybe one thing that you can do, maybe you
Speaker:can jump started on Valentine's Day, is a joint savings
Speaker:challenge for a future date or a holiday or a
Speaker:vacation. And with that, you're like, okay,
Speaker:let's save x amount of money, let's have it by this amount
Speaker:of time, and let's see if we can do it and kind of just challenge
Speaker:each other to save for that thing. Now, once you
Speaker:save for, it's something that will contribute
Speaker:to your relationship. So if it's a future date
Speaker:or if it's a holiday, or if it's a vacation,
Speaker:it's going to allow you all to spend more time together. And
Speaker:so that is your reward, right? So to help
Speaker:you out with this challenge, I will link to a savings
Speaker:challenge that I have put on in the past that can help you
Speaker:out. So you can either save $1,225
Speaker:or $5,050. And even if you're single and listening,
Speaker:definitely go check that out because it does work and it's really easy
Speaker:to follow. I will make sure that I put that link in the show
Speaker:notes. Now, another thing that you can do is just
Speaker:think about some budget friendly date ideas. So maybe have a home
Speaker:cooked meal, just the two of you. Do some DIY
Speaker:gifts. I'll be honest with you. The DIY gifts
Speaker:that I get, like, from my kids and other
Speaker:people in my life, they are way more
Speaker:meaningful than all this extra stuff that I have sitting around the house.
Speaker:So think about something that your partner loves,
Speaker:enjoys, and see if you can diY. I
Speaker:think just the thought that would go into that would really be
Speaker:touching. And then maybe you can do some outdoor activities like
Speaker:hiking together or just going out for a walk in
Speaker:the park. There are so many different things that you can do for free or
Speaker:low cost for your date night. So definitely think about
Speaker:that. So that wraps up our special
Speaker:Valentine's Day edition of the Money Talk with TIFF
Speaker:podcast. So just to reiterate,
Speaker:make sure you have open communication, mutual agreement
Speaker:on expenses, joint financial planning, all
Speaker:for a harmonious relationship so that way
Speaker:you don't end up in a situation where money
Speaker:makes you break up. Now I invite you to share
Speaker:your experiences and tips on money management and
Speaker:relationships. I would love to hear from you. You can do so
Speaker:at ww moneytalquat.com forward slash
Speaker:Tiffany. Also, you can send in questions or
Speaker:topics for future episodes. I'd love to hear from you what is on your
Speaker:mind when it comes to money, business or career, and I will
Speaker:absolutely make a podcast episode for it. So thank you so
Speaker:much for listening. Make sure you rate, review and subscribe
Speaker:and I'll see you next week. Next Tuesday I plan on going
Speaker:over 32 ways to make progress in your
Speaker:life, so that one's going to be a little lengthy, but I
Speaker:promise it will be good because I'm going to give you some tips and
Speaker:tricks that I use on a regular
Speaker:basis. So definitely check that episode out next Tuesday
Speaker:and then also check out the interview on Thursday. Every Thursday
Speaker:I do an interview episode where I interview someone else so that
Speaker:way you can hear about their money story. So until next time, I
Speaker:hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and I will see you next week.
Speaker:Bye. Thank you for listening, joining and
Speaker:being a part of the Money Talk with TIFF podcast this week. You can check
Speaker:TiFf out every Thursday for a new Money Talk podcast, but if you
Speaker:just can't wait until next week, you can listen to previous podcast
Speaker:episodes@moneytalkwitht.com
Speaker:or follow TIFF on all social media platforms at
Speaker:moneytalkwitht. Until next time, spend wise
Speaker:by spending less than you make a word to the money wise is
Speaker:always sufficient.
