Links referenced in this episode:

• allaboutbeingsingle.com
• allaboutbeingsingle@gmail.com

Today, we're diving into the not-so-glamorous reality of what I like to call the "singles tax." Yep, that's right! Being single often comes with a financial penalty, and we're here to unpack just how much that tax really affects our wallets. From housing costs and insurance rates to those pesky grocery bills that seem designed for a family of five, living solo can feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders—or at least all your bills! I’ve been flying solo for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s a wild ride trying to balance saving for the future while still treating myself to the occasional Netflix binge or solo vacation. So grab your favorite snack, get comfy, and let’s chat about the financial quirks of being single and how we can navigate this quirky, coupled-up world!

When we dive into the nitty-gritty of being single and managing finances, it’s like peeling an onion—there are layers, and oh boy, do we shed some tears! This episode tackles the concept of the 'singles tax,' which is basically the extra financial burden we single folks face in a world that often feels designed for couples. I mean, let’s be real—when was the last time you splurged on a fancy dinner out, only to realize that you’re footing the whole bill while your coupled friends are sharing the costs like a well-oiled money-saving machine? We break down the harsh realities of living solo, from skyrocketing rent and mortgage payments to the insidious costs of utilities that don’t seem to care if you’re living with a partner or not. And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the grocery bill—ever tried buying a family pack of chicken when it’s just you? Spoiler alert: it rarely ends well!

Throughout the episode, I share my personal journey navigating these financial hurdles, from how I manage my student loans all on my lonesome to the unique challenges of planning a vacation solo. We even touch on the emotional toll it takes to be the only one responsible for everything from emergency repairs to social outings. The goal? To shed light on this often-overlooked aspect of single life and to spark some conversation about how we can support each other. So, if you’ve ever felt the weight of financial isolation, grab a cup of coffee and join me for this chat—you’re definitely not alone!

In the end, I encourage you to reflect on your own experiences with the singles tax. Whether you’ve felt the pinch of unexpected expenses or just want to share a funny story about your grocery mishaps, we’re eager to hear from you. Let’s lift each other up and find ways to make single life a little less taxing!

Takeaways:

• The singles tax is the financial penalty single folks face in a coupled-up world, impacting everything from rent to groceries.
• Living alone often means footing the entire bill for housing, utilities, and insurance, unlike those who share costs with a partner.
• For singles, unexpected expenses hit harder, as there's no second income to help cushion the blow when life throws curveballs.
• Social outings can be tricky for singles who may not have the same financial flexibility as their coupled friends, leading to creative solutions.
• The struggle to save for retirement is real for singles, especially when juggling daily expenses and the singles tax.
• Many singles feel pressured to maintain a social life while managing their finances, often leading to tough choices between fun and savings.

So the other day I saw a post on Threads talking about how single people with no kids shouldn't be broke. To which I said, out of here. Hi, welcome back to All About Being Single. I'm Wioleta, your host.

This is just another week of talking about all things single. So let's unpack the singles text.

And if you're single, and especially if you live by yourself being single, you definitely know what the singles text is about.

But for those of you who maybe don't fully know or have never heard that, or don't realize that it's a part of your life, the singles tax is basically a nickname to describe how being single ends up costing more money than being in a couple. So it's basically the financial penalty of doing life solo in a coupled up society.

So when somebody decide to tell us that single people with kids shouldn't be broke, they're just, they're insane. All I want to tell them is, how about you learn to live on one paycheck? How about you learn to live off of one paycheck?

Once you do that, come back to me and rephrase that whole thread that you decided to make. But anyhow, so let's talk specifics.

So like, housing costs, you know, if you're single and, and your mortgage or your rent isn't being split right, when you're paying for it all yourself, that's a lot of money out of your paycheck that most other people are splitting with somebody else.

All the utilities that you're paying by yourself and people will be like, oh, but you're not, you know, using as much water, you're not using as much gas and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The thing is, so many of the costs, if you look at your bill, are just so standard for everyone.

To me, it seems like almost like the bulk cost of the utilities is just standard for everybody. And then your usage is a smaller percentage of that bill compared to the rest of the standard utility costs.

So it's like even that argument doesn't hold any validity to it. Your insurance, whether it be car insurance or health insurance, like rates are just not as good for one person.

You know, for like health insurance, there's like shared employer benefits and there's savings to it. So we as single people don't get to benefit from those groceries. We obviously pay for all of the groceries.

And a lot of times people are able to save on like large packages. And as singles, you might not need large packages as much.

Like, obviously throughout the years of living single and I've been living by myself for like the last eight years now. Oh, wow. Eight and a half, actually. But I've learned to, you know, save on groceries as much as I can.

But even then, it's like, for example, everybody, you know, so many people are like, oh, get a Costco membership. And it's like, yeah, if I was splitting with somebody, that would make sense. But I just don't use that much stuff for me to come out even.

Even with the costs. I just go to places like Walmart or Aldi.

But even then it's like Aldi, some of the produce, like, you have to buy and like bulk, where I'm just not going to use it, it's going to go to waste. Or if I want to make some, like, really good recipes, some stuff I really, really enjoy, a lot of it requires so many ingredients.

And then even though I meal prep, I'm still going to be wasting a lot of that food and therefore also wasting the money.

So sometimes I'm kind of more forced to make simpler things or, you know, kind of change what I eat and what I buy so that I'm not overspending and I'm not wasting as much. Student loans, you know, you'll get like the smug look from, like, coupled up people who no longer pay.

And that's because they were able to combine the amount of money they make. So of course, some of theirs are paid off already. I'm still paying for mine at the young age of 38 and a half.

As far as travel goes, you know, you're not splitting hotel rooms with a significant other. Therefore, unless they go with a friend, I'm spending all of that money and I'm kind of getting old to, like, always share rooms with people as well.

Like, I. There's things that I like to do by myself. And, you know, it's sometimes nice not to have to share a room with a friend.

And if you've listened to me enough, you know, I actually also really enjoy taking solo vacations and I will do those even if coupled up. But, like, my ideal vacation is either a solo one or one with a partner entertainment like Netflix.

I mean, hopefully you might be splitting that with, like, your, you know, friends or other family members. But for those of you who might not even have that, you're paying for all of that by yourself.

Uber is when you're, like, traveling or even if you want to go out, you're not splitting that with somebody else. You have to pay for the entire ride. Medical bills, like, my teeth need Constant work.

So I'm constantly spending thousands of dollars every year just on my teeth, unfortunately. And I take good care of them nowadays. You know, for some reason my car breaks down.

I don't just have that built in support where I can just use my significant other's vehicle taxes. You know, if you share jointly, you have lower tax burdens. I cannot combine incomes for tax deductions. It's just what I make.

Just overall lifestyle like pet expenses. Again, that's all on me. If I want to buy new furniture, I have to really save up for that. Like I haven't bought new furniture since.

Well, I did buy this new desk, but before then I actually used desks by my sister. My sister gave me their old desks. So I had that for a long time.

And then all the furniture I have in my house is stuff I purchased when I purchased the house five years ago. And even my mattress is super old. And my mom bought me that when I moved into my townhouse. I just don't have that extra money. Money holiday gifts.

You know, you're the only one spending money on holiday gifts where other people are able to combine. And I will say, thankfully I do have a lot of great family members where they still give me basically two people's amounts worth of gifts for me.

So that is nice. But I know plenty other people who don't have that.

And then you know, any events like weddings and baby showers and all those things that have been happening for decades at this point, things that I've been to, things that I've been a part of that I've had to pay for, that people haven't in a sense paid me back for because I haven't had those events happen in my life. And of course emergencies too. Like if a random life emergency happens, it's all going on a credit card.

And if there isn't an unexpected expense, it's there's just so much extra stress.

Because A, not only do I not have that emotional built in support system living with me, I also have to come up with the money by myself and time and labor for stuff. Like I live in the Chicago suburbs. When there's a snowstorm, I'm the one who's traveling.

Or I have to somehow come up with money to pay somebody else to shovel. Which since I've lived here for the last five years, I do just shovel alone because it's easier just to do that.

But I Also sometimes I've DIY'd, which I'll definitely do an episode on this. But I've DIY'd a lot of stuff in my house by myself.

So not only do I have to purchase the things for DIY and try to make them as cheap as possible, I also have to put in the time and effort and my energy into doing that.

Whereas people who live with somebody else, again, they have savings, most likely, hopefully not everybody, but if they have the savings, they can just hire more people to just do that extra work for them so they have more free time, which I don't have as much of for that reason. Like I literally spent like three years just remodeling the majority of my house and I have no savings.

Basically, like I have a very small amount of savings and that I, I literally just started that in like a high yield savings account, whatever it's called, that was last year. But again, I'm a 38 year old woman, but because I've lived alone so long, I just couldn't put money away.

And even again, that savings isn't really much because it's like after I pay everything off each month and because again, I don't have a person to hang out with me, I would be extra, extra, extra lonely if I never even went out and did stuff. So sometimes I have to go out and do stuff or go on a vacation to keep myself mentally somewhat sane. I have no retirement savings.

I don't have a 401k because it's, I don't even know A, if it's a future I'll have. But B, I just literally don't have that money to put away each week.

And going back to like the vacations that I take, like again, the mental health stuff, it's like I cannot just sit at home and like not hang out with friends ever. And usually that requires spending some money. And I cannot never go on vacations because that's like the one super positive thing I have in my life.

Otherwise it'd be just sitting at home overthinking about these things. I want to have like a husband and kids that I just don't have and I'm. Sometimes it feels like I'm nowhere close to it.

And so a hill Hal Diane is that unexpected expenses hurt a single person just so much more financially because it's already harder to save, but it's also a larger percentage of what one income households bring in.

And then again it's also more stressful as it might put that single person just back so much more in their current or future, you know, goals, financial goals in their current and future financial goals. We don't have that support system and we don't have an extra paycheck and it just, it is what it is.

And never again will I feel guilty for asking a friend to do something more low key when we hang out as I don't have the same spending power hour as they do because most of them are in a relationship. Obviously I will still spend, you know, some amount of money and going out.

But I've also learned that, you know, what if I don't have money for the super expensive dinner, I just, we have to, we can maybe go take a walk and drink some coffee instead. And the no like to stand on, you know, the marrieds.

I love how every time somebody hears that I don't have a 401k, how much they love to tell me that I need to put money away for retirement. And it's like, yeah, it's easy for you to say when you have more money left over because you have two incomes or you make a ton more money than I do.

It's again, like I've mentioned earlier in the episode, it's like it's either me doing this or never enjoying meeting friends out and having some kind of a social life and sometimes taking a fucking vacation because I deserve to take a vacation. I don't have to put my life, life on hold completely.

And you know, once a week, me getting a lunch out, like I'm not going to be losing out on just some regular things that some people can do every day because they make more money or they have two incomes. Like I'm just not going to do that. I deserve to also enjoy my current life. Okay, so now we're going to get into the note to sell.

So take a minute to just ponder on or maybe write down, maybe say out loud to yourself if you're at home by yourself or you know, if you're maybe doing this while you're walking or you're driving, send yourself a little voice note. So this is the question, have you felt the effects of the singles text on your daily life or your social life while you're thinking about that?

Or in lieu of that, if you want to come back to that question later, I am going to do a little dance break. You know what to do. Okay, so I'm back.

So talking about the note to self, I mean, I felt the effects of the singles text throughout all these years and I think definitely my biggest effect on it is the fact that I don't have much savings and you know, and it's this constant Tug of war of like, yeah, do I get a 401k and try to live my life even more frugally or do I put some money into a savings account at least for now, so that I do know I have some kind of a savings account which is basically what my what I decided doing to do is, you know, get a high yield savings account in lieu of the 401k, at least for now, so that I know I'm still putting some money away. And it's not a whole lot of money, but it's some money.

So at least I started the process of thinking about the future a little bit more financially because I don't know, I don't know if I'm ever going to meet somebody. I don't know if I'll ever get to live with somebody again. And I need, you know, to feel safe financially.

And unfortunately getting a 401k to me wouldn't make me feel safe financially. It would probably just stress me out more because I would be putting down this money that I don't even know if I'll ever use.

So at least with the high yield savings account I know that I'm doing something to make my financial reality in the future a little bit better. I'm sure I missed some ways in which the singles tax operates.

So if there's anything I missed and you want to let us know, or if you want to just share your own experiences with the singles tax, please let me know. Go to all about being Single.com, click on the Send voice memo to Violeta button and then you'll be able to send me a voice note.

If you do that, I would love to be able to feature them on future episodes. Okay, let's get into the weekly Glow Up. This one's pretty simple. Just choose one area where you're carrying the full. The full, I can't say that word.

The full burden of the singles tax and actively reclaim some power around it. So maybe split a subscription with another single friend, maybe put $10 each week towards a savings account for emergencies.

Whatever you think might yield some kind of a return for you where you're making things a little bit easier for yourself financially wise. And same thing as with the voice memos. Please feel free to share your weekly Glow ups and what you did.

You can either put up a story on Instagram and tag the about being single account or you can email me at all about being singlemail.com or just go to the allaboutbeingsingle.com website.

If this episode has resonated with you, please share it with one single friend right now just so that we can keep this community going and add more people to it. If anything, us singles need more single people in our lives.

Always remember, and I think about this with my 401k, even if we're late or right on time. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate you listening. I hope you have a good week ahead and I'll talk to you next Tuesday.

Make a life for myself. Sat.