I used to say "yes" to everything — every invitation, every favor, every tiny request — until I finally realized that saying "no" was actually saying "yes" to myself. Therapy forced me to face the loneliness and the people-pleasing pattern I’d built, and taught me how to set boundaries without drowning in guilt. I got brutally honest about who I am outside of other people's expectations, created accountability, and learned to make decisions from clarity rather than avoidance. At the same time I broke a physical habit too: I set a hard goal to get under 200 pounds and hit 175, which reinforced that mental and physical change follow the same three-step formula—honesty, accountability, then action. If you’re a recovering people pleaser like me, this episode is about protecting your peace, reclaiming your time, and choosing growth over automatic comfort (yes, even when that means declining yet another invitation to chaos). I share the exact moment I faced the habit, what therapy revealed, and the small, consistent steps that let me stop pleasing everyone and start actually knowing what I want.

I used to say yes to everything.

Every invitation, every request, every opportunity.

And I didn't even want to do half of it, like, at all.

I was a people pleaser.

I needed people to like me so badly that I sacrificed my own peace just to keep them comfortable.

And that habit nearly ran me into the ground.

Today I'm telling you how I broke it.

And how you can break yours.

Hey, you guys.

Welcome to the Success Effect, where I bring you success tips, real conversations with successful entrepreneurs, and now I'm taking you guys along my own personal journey of building and scaling my business in real time.

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It's something we're actively building.

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I'm telling you the exact moment I had to face this habit, what therapy taught me and why I built it, and how I went from people pleaser to someone who actually knows who she is.

Then I'm going to share the physical habit I broke.

At the same time getting under 200 pounds and hitting the goal I hadn't seen since high school.

So don't click off, because the best is yet to come.

The people pleaser habit.

So here's what happened.

I got moved to a completely different team.

After six years with the same people.

I was pulled out and somewhere completely new.

I didn't know many people.

I was a brand new associate manager.

And I felt alone.

And what did I do?

I tried to fill that loneliness by saying yes to everything.

Traveling, hanging out, communicating, whatever it took to not feel alone.

You can't build a business or life by saying yes to everything just so people will like you.

That habit was a symptom of something deeper.

So I did something about it.

I went to therapy.

First thing I had to do was be honest with myself.

I told myself, look, you're just lonely, and that's okay.

But we need to figure out why.

Why can't you function alone?

Why are you so uncomfortable with being yourself and being alone?

Working with my therapist, I prioritized myself.

I pinpointed exactly what was going on.

I was so dependent on the relationships I built, Traveling, communicating, even gossiping, that I never learned to just be with myself.

So we broke it Down.

Who am I?

Minus the friendships, who am I at my core?

What do I like about myself?

What don't I like?

What are the bad habits I've built and what are the good ones?

You have to take the time to figure yourself out.

If you can't be alone with your thoughts, how are you going to make decisions only you can make?

As a CEO, this is one of the key things that every leader has to go through.

You need to be comfortable with being with your own thoughts because if you're not, you'll make decisions based on avoiding loneliness, avoiding discomfort, avoiding hard truths.

You'll make emotional decisions and that will tank your business.

You have to be able to hold yourself accountable for your bad habits and only you can do that.

If you can sit along with yourself and actually think, then you can make better choices and better decisions.

And here's the thing.

I was breaking a physical habit at the same time.

I got to a point where I was just so fed up with being overweight that I said I'm going to be under £200 in the next three to four months.

And I did it.

I'm currently sitting at 175, which was always my goal.

I hadn't seen 175 since high school.

Breaking a bad habit starts with being brutally honest about what you're doing that you don't need to be doing.

And that came from being honest about my eating the candy, the cookies, the stuff I was eating not in moderation, but I was overeating it and not working out.

I had to look at it and honestly I had to cut it out.

Whether it was mental habits, like people pleasing or physical one, like how you eat, the process is the same.

Honesty first, then accountability, then change.

Growth isn't just adding good habits.

It's having the courage to remove the old ones that are holding you back, mental or physical, that's quietly capping you.

Be honest about what it is and why it's there and take one step to break it.

This week.

Drop it in the comments down below.

I definitely read them.

So if you guys respond and drop down below, what is it that's stopping you right now, whether it be physical or mental, but something that's capping you or stopping you from growing.

I want to know down below.

Unlearning habits take awareness and consistency, which is exactly why my 90 day tracker is built.

Track the habits you're breaking and the ones you're building.

The links down below you download the PDF and let's do this together.

That's it you guys if this resonated, especially if you're a recovering people pleaser like me.

Like share, comment and subscribe in the next episode, we're going to talk about emotional regulation and what it takes to emotionally regulate yourself as a leader.

As always.

See you in the next one.

Keep building.