Description: A blistering takedown of consulting firms and their pyramid scheme with letterhead. While partners measure their manhood with Mont Blanc pens, 22-year-olds bill for nostril scratches and bathroom breaks. You're paying $600/hour for Harvard grads who couldn't diagnose a broken leg without three hundred PowerPoint slides and another $400,000.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Corporate America loves paying $600/hour for buzzword bingo because admitting "we have no clue" is career suicide. These firms sell executive plausible deniability wrapped in Harvard degrees. "It wasn't MY failed strategy—McKinsey recommended it!" Meanwhile, shareholders foot the bill while consultants laugh all the way to their Hamptons houses—bought with PowerPoints and Excel models nobody understood.