How do you bring “Being” to the world of business in a way that is not only understood but also makes a lasting impact? Join Philippe Bartu and Rich Habets as they uncover what get’s in the way of businesses overcoming their biggest challenges.

This episode is particularly relevant for those listeners who are either in business or want to make an impact in the corporate world. Discover simple and practice ways to create a way of listening that is free from filters and interpretations and what it means to be a trusted advisor for senior executives. 

About the Guest:

Rich Habets is a trusted corporate advisor and coach to ambitious senior leaders & leadership teams that want to get everything they can out of all they've got.

Rich began his career as a Management Consultant and left the classical consulting world in 2009 because he saw the incredible power and need for coaching in corporate environments. Rich's work is based on deep knowledge and extensive experience in the practical business applications of human psychology, transformation, and common sense.

Over the past 13 years, Rich has worked with over 6000 people in 20+ countries and four continents. He's helped his clients to upgrade their culture, up-level performance, solve their intractable problems, improve well-being, reduce stress and build their bottom line, and all of this through the power of coaching.

Rich lives in The Netherlands with his wife Diana and their three children.

https://www.richardhabets.com/

About the Host:

Philippe Bartu is a recovering people-pleasing hotelier that became a stressed-out restaurant owner and survivor of severe burnout in 2008. This led him to become a seeker of deeper meaning and purpose in life. In doing so he had a profound spiritual realisation. He saw that every human being is always ok and perfect. 

Over the last 8 years, he has led transformational international retreats and coaching programs that have helped hundreds of clients replace stress and anxiety with fun, ease, and play. He is passionate about relationships and is on a mission to create a world with less drama and more fully expressed, authentic human beings.

By reading The Ultimate Coach, Philippe deeply saw how we create our future from a place of being limited or being unlimited. Today, he helps his clients transform their relationships with their own limitations and become powerful unlimited creators.

www.philippebartu.com 

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Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book, The Ultimate coach written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being. And your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be, it is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply, visit theultimateCoach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from be

Welcome back your host, Philippe Bartu. Here today. And you know, when I first heard the book, The Ultimate coach, it was by a guy called Rich Habets who had just read the manuscript. And I had never really heard anyone talk about a book in the way rich, read the book and shared it with me. And I was so inspired and moved. And that was the beginning of a very rich and beautiful exploration into being. And today, we get to explore a beautiful conversation with rich habits rich, who's doing amazing things in the world. And I'm really inspired by one of the things when we talk about being, it's very hard to have that kind of language in the business world. And Rich is one of those few people who is making a huge difference in the lives of many people that are working in businesses. And I just find that really fascinating. So this is, this episode is particularly interesting for people who are looking to bring this understanding of being into the world of business. Rich, wonderful to have you here with me. Welcome.

Thank you, Philippe. It's, it's always nice to speak to you, thank you for those nice words. And, you know, something that you just said really resonated with me at sow when when I read that manuscript, it really, I had a smile, I couldn't stop reading it. I was just reading it every day. And I think I finished it in two days. And indeed, I couldn't stop sharing it. So you're absolutely right. That was must have been last year. I think it was August, September, something around there. But it's, yeah, great that you remind me of that. Thank you. And

you know, not just that after that manuscript, you committed to going out to Arizona, you spend three weeks there, or you you know how to one on one time, with Steve over 10 hours or so. And so you get you then came back and what's been beautiful, as I've really gotten to know you during that time and accompany you and just be there as a friend as a colleague. And I just wanted to say like, What I appreciate most about you is how I've gotten to know you over this time, and and I'm so delighted for whoever's listening today to get a sense of who you are, what you're up to. And they to get to experience you the way I have had the pleasure of experiencing.

Sounds good. Let's do it. All right.

So Richard, is that I love that you're also just such a straight talker. And one of the things that I often hear you say is how, you know, oh, we can't you have this language. We couldn't talk about that in business like businesses, you can't you can't go in there and talk about being so I'd love to know about how did you start actually getting into the world of business? And how do you introduce this language of being this way of being and using Bing as a way to create the kind of results that you're having? And maybe you can share a little bit more about what you're up to the work that you do? And and then how that yeah, what would it whatever makes sense for you to share?

Okay, yeah, thanks. That's, that's about four big questions in one. So we'll start with I'll start with the first one. So I've been a management consultant almost all my life. I was born as a management consultant. No, I got into management consulting around 1999. And I did that for a long time. I loved it. I was you know, I saw all these companies from up close. And of course in the beginning, you start working as an analyst. And then you work your way up and you start doing strategic sessions. And so that's the work I did for a long time. So, in 2000, I think it was we were sitting with the board of Sony Entertainment. I still remember that when we were in New York, and they were trying to find a way to stop being ripped off by Napster, when you know, Napster and all these illegal mp3. And Napster was losing Sony Entertainment was losing all this money with all the artists that were just freely available on the market on their numbers. And they were looking for a way to monetize it, and protect their copyrights. And we actually came up with a model that looked a lot like what Spotify is now. So that was 2000. And I love my work. I love meeting new people, I love meeting new cultures. And I love to analyze how different cultures think in different ways how they see things in a different way, how they see themselves differently, how they see others differently, how they look at the world, that has always fascinated me. And I mean, really seriously fascinated me when I was young. I read books on the on the pyramids, for instance, you know, why did we build these pyramids? And who were the pharaohs that had them build? And how would they build? And that's always fascinated me and not not just the pharaohs, but everything history. So I'm always looking at how do things work? And how do people see things? And from how they see things? What do they do? What are the actions they take and don't take. And that got me into management consultant. And later on. In my management consulting career, when I was leading my own team, I started to see that sometimes we would go into a company. And we would basically have everything set up perfectly right. So we had a good budget for the project we were going to do. There was good backing from the sponsor, and there were clear timelines, and it was a clear scope. And that project would just fail. And everybody would be baffled, like, you know, what happened? Why did we go over budget? Or why didn't we deliver in time, it seemed also promising and we had everything under control, but it's failed. And then other times, we, we would run projects and companies, these were mostly right reorganizations or, you know, projects like that. And we didn't have a clear scope, budget, we kind of have to see where we're going to get that next week. And those projects were a success. And I was always taught that if you got those three things in place, you got your budget, you got your scope, you got your timelines, your your milestones, that everything would just be a matter of control, while turned out. It's not wasn't true. So I started to become fascinated with what is it that makes projects succeed. And, you know, you don't have to look far to conclude that it's people. And I became fascinated with people, I just, I saw people around me wildly successful, loved by everybody, you know, leaders of teams, and their teams would work over hours, they would go the extra mile and other leaders, those people wouldn't do anything, they would just go home, you know, at five o'clock, they would close their laptop, and they would go home and they wouldn't, you know, do anything extra. And even though I could see the difference, and management style, I was really going for what's the root here? Why is this manager successful in you know, whatever you call successful, but getting things done in this case, and the other one isn't? So I became very fascinated with you know, the human dimension in business. And that put me on a path in 2009 after 10 years of management consulting I am I got divorced in 2009. Because I basically was, you know, almost traveling so much it was working so much my wife didn't see me at all. It was a marriage based on two people wanting two very different things still liking each other, but we decided to go our separate ways. And I was a dad of a three year old at the time. So I got divorced, and I decided you know what, I'm going to quit my job also. Which by the way, I don't recommend to anybody don't do those things at the same time. It's costing you a lot of money and a lot of stress.

But in our from 2009 on I started to focus on solely what's what's the human dimension in business, what what is it? What is it made of what's the root what makes people perform not perform what makes people happy, not happy. What's what's what's, you know, what's at the root of it. And that took me on a went on a long journey, I can tell you I got very confused because it was reading many, many books. And the more I read, the more I got confused. And I joined a Tony Robbins program, I started doing NLP things. And you know, that's the kind of guy I am, I'm always full when I used to be always falling. Now I'm more. Now I pick my things more better than that. And that took me on a long path and a long journey. And at a certain moment, I met somebody that everybody else on this podcast probably knows. It's a dear friend, Steve Chandler. I met him in 2010. I think for the first time in a course that he did with rich life in LA. I did that course hired him as my coach from that moment on, and I decided to drop everything else I was doing, just focus on work with Steve. And took me a couple of years to get going. But I worked with him eventually, for a lot of years, over a decade, you know, not every week or every other week, but we had regular calls, and he coached me really well. And I was able to transform my work from technocratic business consulting, work into being that same business consultant, but looking at the human dimension in business. And that's what I'm doing these days, in businesses

over all this time, and everything that you have read and discovered, like, what how would you say? What? How would you share what you've discovered around human behavior? human dimension in business? What would? How would you put it in your words?

Well, you know, human humans in business are still humans, right? So when a lot of people I speak to they go, like, Oh, my God, businesses, it's all about money and ego and all that stuff? Well, yes, they have a you know a lot about others about money, but it's still people that are in there. And, you know, in a nutshell, we all have a way the world occurs to us. And how toil occurs to us is in our thoughts, and our thoughts are expressed in language. And when we start a seeing the role of thought, that it's not just the way we are, but it's the way we've become, and that we have a say, in who we are, then we can travel, transform our world. And I think we're all perfect, whole and complete, every single human being I haven't met a human being was not perfect, whole and complete in my life. But we have things that get in our way. We have beliefs, thoughts, convictions, and all that stuff that get in the way. And once we get to see that, not make them wrong, right, not make ourselves wrong for having a certain belief or whatever. But what once we start to see, that's what's running the show, right? The way the world occurs to us, that's what's running the show. That's what's running us. That's how we perceive it's how it occurs to us how we occur to ourselves on the world occurs to us, then we get to see Wait a minute. If I've become this way, through conditioning, you know, my parents, my culture, my religion, teachers, you know, I've become that way unconsciously. If I've become that way, I can also, if like, if I've become that way, unconsciously, I can also become an other way, consciously, I have a say in the matter. And when we take that ownership, we can basically create anything we want, through the power of our own minds. And, and that's, you know, that's in two minutes, probably could have done in one could have been shorter here. But that's in one minute. The journey, yeah, that a lot of people take a lifetime to really see. And I hear

you so on a practical level, can you give me an example of how that's played out in the business world and the conversations that you've been having in the work that you've been doing?

Of course, of course, there's many examples. So. So for instance, a rare very practical thing that I see a lot in executive, especially executive teams, so people who have climbed the corporate ladder, as we call that, right, like VP, senior directors, C suite level C suite level people. They have created a certain way of listening, where they and I'm not saying all the time, I'm just saying what I see in general, right. So it's never a digital, it's not zero, yes or no, it's not never one or zero. It's just in general. What I see is that they've created a way of listing that they're right Write, this is the way it is. And I have to convince people that this is the way it should be done. Because they've climbed that ladder. And they've gotten so many Pat's on the back for their smarts and for their intelligence and for their insight. And now, it becomes very hard for them to look beyond how they see things. So let me give you a very specific example. I did a session in Germany. i Ces five, six years ago, and there was a leader of a team, I think he was the I think he was a VP at that level of VP. And he said, You know what, I'm always frustrated when we have team meetings that my team members, my direct reports, that they don't have a lot of input on the questions that I have. So we do meetings, and I say, Guys, we have this problem. And girls, and we have to solve it. What are your opinions? And then they come up with either stupid ideas is what he told me, they come up with your stupid ideas, or non workable ideas, are they the quiet? And that's not the way I can work with this team? I need them to be more outspoken, and they need to have better ideas. So can you help me with that? And everybody who's listening now, and who has a little bit background, and coaching already sees a huge problem here. But he didn't see that right? And the key is not, you know, it doesn't matter that I see that the key is if he sees it or not. So we did a three day intensive what

is let me let me just slow you down there, because it may not be clear to what you're sharing. When you say that he sees it, or that I see it. What is that? It's you're referring to?

Yeah, that's excellent. Yeah, thanks for slowing it down. Well, what I see is the moment he's talking about others, he's basically saying they don't understand me, it's always them. Right? The problem is them. He doesn't look at how am I listening? Who are they for me? How do they how do they occur to me? And is that? Is that the truth with a capital T? Or is it just the way it occurs to me? Right for him, they were, you know, not intelligent, sometimes even stupid. They were passive, they were lazy. They got money to do they get a lot of money to basically do don't do a lot of work. That was how they occurred to him. Right, he didn't see how that shaped his listening for them. And also how he was being with them. That's what I mean by it. You didn't get that.

And so there was no possibility for him to get what he wanted, based on the level at which he was listening.

Exactly. For him. They needed to change so that he could have a better team.

So would you say that even if the team did come up with some brilliant ideas, the filter through which he was listening, didn't occur, allow it to occur to him like a brilliant idea.

Exactly. Yeah. And he would discard them as stupid or right work or it's naive, or, you know, he would just if it wasn't in his, like you said, you call it a filter, if it was outside of his filter, he would just discard the ideas no matter how brilliant they could be.

Right? Yeah. And so you were saying that you you then went on and you spend three days with him?

Yeah, so we did a three day session. And on day one, we, we did a little bit of theoretical stuff of how the mind works and all that being and how that works. And, and I know that when people hear this for the first time, it's, you know, when they're in the, in their, in their analytical minds, it's really hard to, to hear. They hear it, but they don't you know what I mean? So my job is to get an opening for them to hear. So we slowed way down, and they got very nervous. So always in business as you if you slow it down, they

get nervous. Or late. Yeah, they get uncomfortable with that velocity. Yeah,

exactly. Yeah. And they start watching their watches and their phones and they all of a sudden they have a meeting and but you know, it's my job to to deal with that. And not make them wrong. For me. It's just the way they are in that moment. So on day two, they were talking about a business topic. And I told that leader I said, You know what, what I just want you to do is listen. And while you're listening, I want you to do this. The moment you feel like you got an irritation coming up, or a something like no, this is not right or this is wrong or whatever. Stop, stop, right, like, Stop, notice what's in your listening and give it up and see what shows up when you are able to give up that irritation. All right. That's all I told him stop. Notice what's in your listening, and you give it up your irritation, or your knowing better or whatever is in your listening. Can you give that up? And once you give it up, what shows up? So I sat next to him intentionally. And the group was talking and I could see him getting nervous. He was starting to wiggle his, his feet, and he was, you know, shifting back and forth in his seat. And he was just trying to interrupt and he and I tapped his knee a couple of times said, no, stop, notice what's in your listening? Can you give it up? Yes or no. And at a certain moment, he just, you know, he just couldn't hold it anymore. And he just said, you know, guys, we're now talking 30 minutes about something. And I know from the board, and you know, you don't have this information. But I know from the board that this idea, it's never going to work. So let's stop talking about this. And I call them I call the break. I call the break, and I said, Okay, let's all take 30 minutes, and take a walk, and we'll go for a break. So. So we, we take a break, and go towards the coffee machine, I gotta get a coffee. He stands next to me. And he says, I'm so mad at you, like standing in my personal space, right? Looking me directly. So mad at you set? What do you mean? You just, you know, you know, just make me look bad in front of my team. In my mind, I thought I didn't say this term, I thought, you make yourself look bad in front of your team. But okay, let's dance. Let's see what happens. And I said, what happened? Well, I spoke, I said something, and you acted as if my opinion doesn't matter. And I looked at him and said, You know what, let's take 10 minutes. And let's take a walk, let's get some fresh air. And then we'll talk about because this is exactly what we need to talk about. We took 10 minutes, he cooled down a bit. And he wasn't able to see. It took him I think two weeks, two weeks. And then he called me up and he said, Rich. You know what, I wasn't able to see that in that moment. But what I see now is that, if it's not about me, then I get mad. If people don't listen to me, I feel like I am less than, or I'm less important, or I don't matter. And that's the pattern I've been having since childhood. And I've been taking that with me in my leadership skills in my leadership style, rather. And he said, what happened is that I felt like you were discarding my opinion. And you know what, I've been doing that with my team for three, four or five years, whenever I feel that they have a different idea. I just shove it to the side, because I have the authority. Now I'm the VP you know, I can do that with them. And they mostly Shut up. Because they're, you know, they're depending on me for their evaluations and the bonuses and all that stuff. But it's a very toxic way of leading. And I've been doing that with them. I've been doing that with my wife, I've been doing that with my kids. I always know better. And if people somehow don't respect my intelligence, or my smarts, then I can get very, very nasty. And he said, this has been holding me back my whole life. And he got very, the more he talked, the more he started to see about this huge blind spot he's been having. And I just had him talk and he was just exhilarated. Well, you know what, what happened with him, he started working with it, he started to see discover more around it because you know, every blind spot has, it's like an oil spill. It's everywhere in your life, right? This way of being right. He cleaned that up, we worked together for a while for, I think a year. And he got promoted to become the chief operating officer for the company. And later on, he said, without discovering that blind spot, I would have still been where I was unhappy complaining about my team, not getting the most out of my people.

So when you say we cleaned that up, what does that mean?

What that means is that he gets reflective and start seeing like, okay, so what is this way of being, you know, this way of being like, I know better. I'm smarter than that's that something happened in his youth. Right? But without the psychoanalysts here throwing up going into something happened. And his survival strategy became, I have to be smarter, more intelligent than anybody else. Right, because that way I can still get the respect. That way I can still win. In the landmark terms. They call that a winning strategy. It's a way to get attention a way to get respect, right. And he perfected that strategy, it became a way for him to get what he thinks he wants attention, money, appraisal, respect all those things. Yeah. And that became his life. Yeah, that became his life, his winning strategy was leading his life and seeing anymore. And what I see mean by uncovering is that when you take the lid of that, and they start seeing, like, holy bejesus, you know, that's what I do everywhere. I tried to impress people how smart I am, and how intelligent I am. And when they don't see that, or don't respect me, or don't give me my you know, they don't give me what I want. Then I start gossiping about them, bad mouthing them finger pointing, taking them down, you know, all that stuff. And he says, It's so nasty. And he cleaned up with many, many people around him, meaning that he had a lot of conversations with people where we said, You know what, I've been doing this winning strategy. And I've been doing that to you, too. And when you didn't follow, I started to ignore you. And I want you to know that I'm very sorry for that. I see it now. I don't want to do that anymore. Because it's nasty. And it's not giving me what I'm really looking for. And he cleaned that up. And he became more free. Because here's what you have to understand a winning strategy has you you don't have a winning strategy it has Yeah. Right. It's like, yeah,

it's like a winning strategy is actually a losing strategy. At the same time.

That's ultimately it, because the winning strategy is covering up something. Yeah, something you couldn't be

in it. It's like it stops you from having the freedom you talk about?

Absolutely. It's your most inauthentic way of being. And we all have it, we all have winning strategies, we all have ways to get our attention or, you know, love respect. And, you know, people have control as a winning strategy that's tried to control everything around me. So at least I can feel in control, or dominating, you know, there's all kinds of planning strategies. And they're not good or bad. It's just what you have. And there's so much freedom if you see it. And by the way, it's not like it's ever going to lose, you leave you. You still have it. But the moment you distinguish it, you can be with it. So the moment it, you know, again, starts to get active, you can go like, Oh, wait a minute, see, I'm doing it again. Yeah, make a different choice.

Yeah. So that's such a beautiful example. And I can really see how waking up to that blind spot can just totally set you free. But what I'm curious to know, and this is like, I find maybe a lot of people are also like interested to hear this is how do you go from that to the you know, you talked about introducing being in business? Like how, what does that look like when you're first in conversation with clients and companies and organizations? On the real challenges that they're up against? How did how do you? How do you navigate that conversation?

Yeah, that's an excellent question. So, you know, I was lucky enough to have the management consulting background. So I know how these people talk. And I'm saying these people as if they're from another planet, but I know how people in business talk. I know what's important to them. So in my earlier years, when I first started coaching, I went in from the angle of, there's something they need to know, and I need to coach them on that so that they can become better professionals. Turned out that that wasn't the easiest way to get in. So what I did over the years, I developed this method of you know, what, they struggle with real business problems, like revenues, like, you know, which products should we launch? How do we reorganize the team? How do we get better trust in the team? You know, how do we make more profit? So I became interested in what do they perceive as a current problem? So for instance, let's take making more profit, right? Or budget problems, let's take more profit. So what I would do, I would ask them, what's the biggest problem you have right now in your business? What's keeping you awake at night? That would be my angle. And the moment they would talk about that, I know that the solutions they think are the solution to their problem aren't really the solutions, the solutions are always mindset issues being issues. So, in a nutshell, you know, the metaphor that I always use as if you give them if you if you have a dog and the dog is sick, you'll give the dog a pill, and you know, the pill is going to really help the dog get better. But the moment you put that pill in the mouth of the dog, the dogs not going to swallow it because he doesn't like the taste of it. So he's going to find every way possible to push the pill out of his mouth. I mean, I'm, I'm an expert at that. I've tried. I've had three, four dogs in my life where I had to do that, and the dog never would take the pill and go like, Oh, that's great, thank you. I know, I'm gonna get better from that. No, he just pushes it out, even to my irritation, right. So you put the pillow on the tongue, you put it in the back of his throat, and then 15 minutes later, you would find the pillow on the floor. That's the same in business. If you go into business, and you start talking about, you know, you need to shift your mindset you need to be you know, you need to make a document that you need to feel better. And when you're happier, you do better work, the kind of interested in that, but they're also really interested in like, hey, you know, that's great. But I have 300 emails a day, can you help me with that first, or that colleague from customer service that really doesn't communicate? That's a bigger problem for now. Or my boss always cancels my one on ones. And I don't know how to talk to him. I don't know how to get in relationship with him. Help me with that first, right. So what you need to do in business is, and let's go back to the metaphor for dog again, if you want to have that dog swallow that pill, you wrap it in a piece of bacon. And if you just take a piece of bacon, you wrap it around a pill and you put it into dog's mouth, that pill goes down easily. Right? And the dark as a result will get better. While in business. It's the same, you just can't give them their pill. You just can doesn't work. For some people it does. Mostly it doesn't work as my experience. So you have to find the bacon. And the bacon is what do they like in business? Well, business is mostly analytical. So going from there, okay, I can help you get better, you know, better idea of which products you should launch next quarter. So let's get people together. Let's talk about two hours about how the mind works, then let's put your problem on the board. And we're going to talk about how to make more more products that we want to launch. And I'm going to show you where you get in your own way. While you're creating these those ideas for those products. Right? I'm going to show you where you're not listening to each other because you think you know better. I'm going to show you where you are very vague in your ideas. And then you wonder why ideas get lost. It's because they're not present in your in your present experience right now. So you have to make them more present. I'm going to show you how you're not sure how you're not honoring your word. Right? Well, you say one thing, you do another thing. You know, we want to be a team that trusts each other. But you're gossiping in the corridor. Two minutes later, I'm going to show you the importance of when you promise something that you keep your promises. And that's coaching, right? And it all goes all the way down for them to understand

when I'm in a meeting, and I feel like I need to defend myself, that's a way of being right. So for instance, I need to be right. Or I need to be at least not wrong. I'm going to show you how that gets in the way of generating new ideas. Because if you're stuck in that you're right. There's only a limited amount of ideas in your mind. Right? If you open up that mind, and you go like, Hey, I have good ideas with other people have other author good ideas, then you might be able to see new ideas, new insights and solving all problems. So that's, that's how we do it. But you have to go in through the bacon you have to go in through their world. And then of course, the pillars in there.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah. Let me give you another example. There was a team I used to work with. And the first time I walked in, I walked they had this U shape. They had all these in this conference room and had a U shape with the tables and the chairs. And on the tables where they had all their laptops in front of them. And they were doing their emails, I don't know what they're doing. They were doing a lot of stuff and they were and I started my program and they kept their their laptops open. And this was the first session, okay. And after two minutes, I said, Wait a minute, can I ask you a question? Can I ask you what you're doing? And they said, Well, we're doing our emails and we're very busy. You know, I went we cannot afford to be four hours here. It's just we have to do two things at a time. In the past, when I when I was more judgemental, I would just say you know what, call me back when you're able to listen. And I would just walked out what I said to them, I said, You know what, let's talk, like, give me five minutes about how the brain works and how multitasking doesn't work. And then you can decide whether you want to do this session where your laptop, or if you want to do it without your laptop, and I promise you, you're gonna have a lot of insights. Because what you're doing with me, now you're doing what your employees also. And they said, What do you mean? I said, Well, do you sometimes do a one on one with a person like evaluation, you know, job evaluation, or project innovation evaluation, and you're talking with a person while you're sitting behind your laptop? And they say, Yeah, we do that all the time. And then you're wondering why that person doesn't feel heard. Oh, so we talked a couple of minutes about multitasking, and how the mind can only do one thing well at a time. And they were like, you know, let's, let's put away laptops, and we had the best session. So that's how you use coaching. in a business setting, you have to be in their world in their language. And it's not hard. It's not hard, you just have to be willing to also listen for what's important for them. How does the world occur for them?

As it makes sense, yeah, you're on fire as I'm just sitting here and just enjoying listening to you talk about this, I can see that it's something you're really passionate around. Yeah. And I also know that you, yeah, that you're also very eager to help more people to understand how to bring more of this work into businesses, and how to like, Yeah, and just how to, you know, to be someone who can create shifts in culture, in wellbeing, and results, financial, performance related, you know, the kind of work that you're doing. So yeah, that's beautiful. I, I just want to say, you know, I really feel the passion you have for this, and, and what is also occurring to me is, it's just your willingness to do what it takes your willingness to show up. And there's a quote as well that you think you you're the one that shared it with me, by one of our heart. And this quote was, power doesn't come from knowledge. What people know, doesn't make them powerful. It's being present to what you're dealing with, that gives you power. And I feel like that's really behind the essence of what you're sharing is really about the power of being present. So whatever you're dealing with, that is powerful. And I want it to just Yeah, acknowledge you and, yeah, and how you've been present, to showing up and all in a powerful way, by being present to what's needed. Yeah, thank you. And, you know, I did a, like a 10 month leadership program with CTI. And it really was about coming out with the ability to respond to two questions. The first one is, what's here. And the second one is what's needed now. And if you can be present to what's here, not to the story of what's here, but to what's actually here. You can be present to deal with it with whatever life throws at you powerfully.

Yeah, it sounds a lot like the stock notice what's in your listening, and can you give it up? And that's also becoming present, too. How am I listening to the situation right now? Yeah. And can I keep it up? Yes or no?

Yeah. Yeah. And that's a beautiful way to notice. First of all stop notice. Because the stop and the stop and noticing for most people is just an automatic way of being. Yeah. So to me, this is a really, this is this is like beautiful because it is speaks to the essence of being while at the same time uses language that people in business can relate to notice what's in your listening. Yeah. Well, it's not like you, you know, shift your V and get your document out and recreate yourself because who you are is a creation like that. That may be a little too abstract. So I love the practicality the simplicity and The power that you bring to this conversation to businesses and enter the work that you do.

Yeah, let me say something about that. There was an exercise that we used to do before COVID. And it was a really simple exercise, we just, you know, every time we would do like a three, day intensive, whatever the team, the first thing we would do, we would say, Okay, everybody stand up, and it will be like 1516 people. And they will say, I would say, what we're going to do is you're going to shake everybody's hand in his room, that's why I said, pre COVID, you could speak and do that anymore, you're just going to shake everybody's hand, and you're going to give them a compliment. And you're going to give them a heartfelt compliment, and the other person just receives it, notice what's in your listening, right, while you're receiving the compliment. And then the other web person would do the same thing. So they would also give a compliment, and then you would move on to the next person. And I would just stand in the back and observe what's happening. And because this is a microcosm of what's happening in that team, because some people would avoid each other, or, you know, when they would say shaky Jeduthun, it would be really quick, like, oh, nice shoes, or nice shirt, or, you know, nice glasses, that would be really like a superficial kind of compliment. And you would see the colleagues that it would get along really well, they would spend like a minute with each other, you know, on one compliment. And if you become skilled at reading the group like that, you don't need introduction, you don't need intakes or anything like that, you would just need to do that exercise, or you would know more than enough about this team. And what's needed. Yeah. And then afterwards, we would always ask like, Okay, so the more What's more, what's easier getting a compliment or giving a compliment. And they would all say, getting a compliment, mostly. And I would say, oh, that says something about the team, right? Getting something is more important than giving something that says something about a culture. And during the course, we will also always shift to you know what, you have no problem, getting what you want, as long as you're willing to give other people what they want. Right? If you want to be listened to? Why don't you give away better listening to other people? If you want other people to work more with you? Why don't you give that away first. And it's so beautiful to see a whole team of people getting that realization, getting that new way of being right, and being a giver instead of a getter. That alone, if you would spend like three days having getting that into the being of a team, that would shift the whole team.

Now I can say this, I can serve see that. And it would create a team of givers. And you know, a word that we use for that, as well as a team of people that are in service of each other, that are looking to make each other win and looking to make each other get what they want and look good. Yeah, exactly. And it just becomes, yeah, it's like a complete shift from the me and to, to the Wii and to, to this sort of collaborative way of being, it's just going to be way more beautiful and fun and engaging and powerful. Yeah, so it's so important.

And that same team, when they get together now, it's so in their in their DNA, right? That whenever they're talking in a meeting, or anywhere else, they check in, am I here for me? Or am I here for the team? How am I listening? Am I listening at the level of self? Or am I listening at the level of team? And the beauty is and you know this, this just makes me so oh my god, this is so beauty. When you see a team do that by themselves. It's almost feels like I'm the granddaddy. And you know, when kids being happy and playing with each other, I'm like, Oh my God, this team is so much more productive. Now. They don't need me. That's always been in them anyway. But now they see how they're listening. You know, when I'm in a meeting, and I'm starting to debate something, what am I doing? Am I trying to be right? Or am I trying to really contribute something to the idea? am I dancing in a conversation? Or am I trying to make somebody else wrong? And I'm trying to make myself right. And to your point earlier, I meet so many wonderful people, coaches, consultants, mentors, people who do amazing work. And they tell me that they they're kind of scared of business, right? They don't know how to start working in business or that it's scary. It's all about money, big egos, all that stuff. But if you really, but that's also a way of being it's also a way for looking at a business. If you shift and peel away those layers of materialism and egos and all that stuff. You see that this is a huge opportunity to read You reach a lot of people at once, right? Because you're working with a whole team, instead of one person, you're working with a whole company, whole department, whenever you get a chance to shift 1000s of people, if you if you do that, well, instead of one or two or three, and to me, that's the game I'm playing, I want to make a bigger difference for more people. Because we spent so much time at work, I don't even know how much I was, like half of your I don't even know. But it's like eight hours a day, if you're if you're lucky, you know, most people I work with work 1012 hours a day. So what an improvement if people get along at work, get better results don't have, you know, distress, know how to deal with breakdowns and all that stuff. They bring that home also to their kids, to their wife, their families, they bring that home to their friends, they bring that home everywhere. So what a huge impact we can have as as corporate advisors, and I call it advisors doesn't mean that we're giving advice, but you know, it's coaches, consultants, those groups group, that group, what an impact we can have that way. So I'd really love for more people to step beyond their own filters of EU corporates.

Yeah, yeah, just

looking like what what difference? Can you even like, you know, your local, your local chamber of commerce, they have people there who are looking for how can I perform better small business owners, you know, you can go there and start making a difference. By doing a speech of you know, I'm doing a speech on how to get more productive, why not? It's not hard. It's not. It's still people. And still people. And, you know, we can make a huge difference in corporates. Because if you look at the world, right now, a lot of people are stressed, in corporates. They're eager for help. And the help they mostly get is from people who are unskilled in doing this work. And they're doing I would like to say more bad than good. When they're, you know, heartfelt advice. And I see a lot of people being burned out. You know, and that also they bring that home also. So I would encourage, if you're a coach, or a consultant, or somebody who really wants to contribute, look at businesses to do that. They need you, they need you.

Yeah, that's so helpful. That's just a possibility for more wellbeing in the workplace. That's how I see you and the work that you were doing and the possibility you're creating for 1000s of people. And, yeah, it's, it's super inspiring. And I know you haven't brought this up, but I'm going to bring it up myself, because I know there's a program that you are offering called, being a trusted advisor. And this is for people who are looking to get into working more with businesses. And it's like a support team. Is it okay, if I ask if I ask you to share a little about that?

Let's get this out. Because it doesn't I don't want it to be a promotional thing.

Okay. So, yeah, we can cut that out. And that's totally cool. And at the same time, I want to challenge you on that, because it's not a promotional thing. It's about being in service. And if you can see it that way, it will be beneficial for people listening to know that there's a way they can get on board and be more. So I invite you to look at it as you being of service, and not you promoting yourself and stop making it about you.

Yeah, man, that's a different perspective. Okay. Let's do it.

Okay, so I'm gonna ask you that question again. So yeah. Is that Is that something? Is it okay, if I asked you about that? Sure. Sure. Go ahead. Yeah, well, what well tell me what is what is this being a trusted adviser? What is the program about? And who is it for? And how can people find out more about it?

Well, it's really something that started in my own mind to two months ago, when I had a conversation with somebody really good coach, a guy who used to work for a law firm, and he turned to coaching. And he really doesn't know how to do that with corporate clients. And I had a conversation with him and he really started to get benefits from that. And I stopped and I was like, you know, more people need to know that it's not scary or different, or anything else, you know, it's just, you just need to know if you need to do a few things. So I had a conversation with my wife. I said, You know what, it's just so I'm blown away by how many people are scared of working in business and scared might not be the word that resonates with you, but scared or look up to or intimidated or whatever. And it's such a shame because they got so much to offer. So you know, I said to my wife, what I'm going to do, I'm just going to do a couple of calls of an hour. And I'm just going to tell people the basics, where to start, how to make a proposal, what the languages you use, what the language is, you don't use who you speak to who you don't speak to. And my wife said, Yeah, you know, that's great, you can, you can help many people with that. And I thought about it a little bit more. And I decided to make a little bit of a program out of it. And it's called being a trusted adviser. And everybody can look it up on Facebook, it's I posted it on my wall. And I put that on, on my wall, actually. And many, many replies of people saying I would love to participate. So yeah, so that's what I'm doing is basically me sharing what worked for me, and not only what worked for me, but also how it can work for them.

I think it's amazing that you're doing that rich, and it's so needed. And I was one of the first to sign up to that program. I was like, Yes, I want to, I want to be a part of this. And, you know, I've also invited people that I can for dearly that will be joining the program as well. And I know you already sold out for the first time them for the first batch, and you're doing a new one in October. So you know, I know that also, that you're not someone who likes to self promote. And I really appreciate you sharing that here. Because I, I really feel like this is a just a beautiful opportunity to serve people. That kind of people that you describe, that really wants to be making a bigger difference in the world, but don't know where to start. So so just, you know, thank you for creating that on, and I'm sure it will be absolutely powerful, insightful, and really practical. Because if there's one thing that I love about your way of sharing and teaching and is it's just the practicality that you bring. And and that's, you know, something I personally really value. So yeah, and also all the examples you gave today, you know, thank you for who you're being for what you're creating. You are an inspiration to me and to many people. And I'm so glad to be able to call you a dear friend and to be able to Yeah, just keep being a witness of your journey. And what is being created, I think, is absolutely fantastic.

Well, thank you for that. That's really touching. And let me also acknowledge you for, for doing an amazing job on his podcasts. And, you know, we have many conversations also outside of this podcast, and I always find it inspiring. Congratulations again on the board on the birth of Oliver. Really enjoyed

you so much. Yes. And it's actually my first episode and I'm recording as a dad and I tell you, I just feel so I feel so tender. It's I feel so tender. And and it's it's great that we're talking about business and stuff because it's just allows me to just yeah, really present to you and to what you're sharing. And I love that.

Thank you for, for being who you are. I experienced you as one of the most kindest people you got a beautiful voice for for doing these podcasts. I think my wife overheard us speaking less than last week and she said that guy should become a professional voiceover

Thank you. I appreciate that as well, Rich. It's been a delight just to share this, this episode with you. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we complete our conversation today?

Anything else? Yeah, I would like to say one thing. Don't let yourself be held back by anything. Don't let yourself be held back by anything. Stop. Notice what's in your listening. Give it up. If you're not willing to give it up. Look why you're not willing to give it up, investigate, keep digging, because that's where the freedom is. If you want to be a corporate consultant, if you want to, I don't care what kind of income goal you have. It's achievable. The only thing that's working against you is how you see things. If you challenge that and if you change it, if you shift your being towards what you're looking at, it's all possible. And I know that, you know, especially when you're in a hole that doesn't sound like real or real Stick. But Warner Earhart has this beautiful quote. And, you know, I don't know it by heart, it's a longer quote. But he basically says heroes, the definition of heroes are people. We're not looking at the current circumstances, but they create a world in their mind first, and then they work towards that they're coming from the vision that they have. They don't look at their circumstances, those people are heroes. And I think that's true. And Werner is a hero. He's great. There are many heroes on the planet. I think Steve Hardison is a hero. There many, many heroes, and you know what they're heroes, because they're driven by who they say they are, not, who they've become, or what the world says, or whatever, they honor their word. And that's so beautiful.

Beautiful, and there's something just a short story, I want to add to that. And I have mentioned this in previous podcasts around the challenges that I've been facing with the relationship between my wife and my mother, and, you know, rich, something so beautiful has happened. With the birth of Oliver, it has been almost, I just have to say it is an absolute miracle. Because Christina, just my wife, Christina, who really wasn't having, there's hardly a relationship at all, with my mother, completely let go of the story, completely letting go of the need, for any sort of conversation to happen or completion to happen. And it just let go. And she was free to be in a healthy relationship with my mom again. And you know what, it's so beautiful. And it was, it was amazing, because I could really see the power and what you share and just stop notice what's in your listening, and can you give it up? And I think can you give it up is really the big one. And it's, it's a willingness to let go of the grudges the need to be right, as you say, and to be able to witness that in this way, as it's just so so profound, that I am really, really moved by possibility. And I can say, you know, if that's possible in my family, you know, what's possible in businesses in our lives in the world is miraculous. Yeah,

absolutely true. There were miracles everywhere. And yeah, this is a great one.

And this, this is the work that you and I get to do is the work of opening up people to possibility where they see limitations. Isn't that amazing restriction. It's the most beautiful work, and it is the most rewarding work. And I'm so grateful to be on this journey. Yeah. And you too. Yeah. Yeah. So what a beautiful place for us just to complete this conversation today. Again, I want to thank everyone who's been listening in and anything that you want to share and we always love hearing from you, and any takeaways that you have, please feel free to reach out to Richard to myself and share anything that you got from from our conversations. Thank you again, rich for your time today for your openness for your practicality and your beautiful way of bringing, being in business. I'm inspired by you by our conversation, and I look forward to being more in conversation with you and with everyone else in the ultimate coach, group and family.

Yes, amen to that.