136. Values in Action: Helping Students Navigate Moral Dilemmas

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're.

Carol: In the right place.

Carol: Because we're better together. Ready to chat? Let's dive in.

Carol: Hi everyone.

You are listening to the Counselor Chat podcast.

This is the show for school counselors who are looking for some really easy to implement strategies, a little spark of inspiration, and some practical ways to make a big impact.

I'm your host, Carol Miller. I am a school counselor, a content creator, and someone who's always thinking about how we can help our students make better choices.

And not just academically,

but ethically too.

And today we are talking about something I think every counselor can relate to.

Helping our students navigate moral dilemmas.

You know, those tricky there's no perfect answer situations, or where what's right can feel at odds with what's popular or what's easy.

And I'm going to be honest here, this topic came up for me recently because of some of the patterns I was seeing in my own building.

I mean, it started with something I was noticing that was happening around our school. We were seeing more and more of our upper elementary kiddos, those in fourth through sixth grade,

being bystanders in situations that they knew just weren't right,

for example.

And I mean, none of these are earth shattering, but there were things like cutting in line,

being rude to a classmate and no one saying anything,

or maybe a group excluding one student on purpose and the others just going along with it,

kids roasting other kids.

And even though some thought it wasn't funny,

they laughed just to stay part of the group.

And these weren't big discipline problems, but they were really values problems. Moments where kids were really torn between doing what they believed was right and doing what what what felt safe socially.

And that's where I decided to bring in a community lesson that I like to call the Fall Festival Dilemma.

So far this year, it has been one of my favorite ways to really explore values and actions because it gives students a story to wrestle with instead of just a lecture which they're just going to tune out.

So here is how the lesson starts.

So every October,

the town of Pine Hollow hosted its Annual fall festival. I mean, it was a weekend full of caramel apples, hayrides, and the famous pumpkin design contest.

And this year, best friends. Best Maddie, Caleb, Jordan, and Ava. They were determined to win.

Their idea was amazing. A haunted harvest display complete with glowing pumpkins and spooky fog.

But the only problem was the festival rules said no electronics or special effects were allowed.

Maddie was the creative leader of the group, and she thought this rule was unfair. It's just a fog machine. It's not like we're cheating, she said.

Caleb, he wasn't so sure. I mean, he wanted to win,

but he didn't feel that breaking the rules was. Was right.

And Jordan, he usually went along with whatever the group decided. He didn't like conflict, and he didn't want to disappoint anyone.

And then there was Ava, who was newer to the group, and she stayed quiet.

She really admired how confident Maddie was.

But something about sneaking in the fog machine didn't sit quite right with her.

Well, that night, Maddie convinced everyone to meet at her garage to set up the display.

She plugged in the fog machine and promised no one will ever know.

Caleb hesitated, but helped set it up.

And Jordan? He just shrugged and went along.

Ava helped decorate,

but she kept glancing at the machine,

nervous about what might happen the next day. Their display was a hit. Crowds gathered. Judges were impressed. And just as the awards were about to be announced, the fog machine sputtered and a burst of mist sprayed the neighboring group's pumpkins, which smeared their painted designs.

Everyone turned to look.

The festival director hurried over.

Did someone use electronics?

That's against the rules.

Maddy said nothing. Caleb looked at his shoes.

And then Ava spoke quietly.

It was us.

We shouldn't have used it.

Maddie turned bright red. Why would you tell? We would have gotten away with it.

The team lost their prize. Maddie stormed off.

Everyone was mad at Ava.

And later that night, the group argued.

Caleb said he felt guilty the whole time and actually.

But was actually relieved.

Jordan admitted he didn't like how they treated Ava.

And Maddie said Ava had ruined everything.

And Ava said, winning isn't worth losing your integrity.

After I shared that story in class,

the room, it went silent for a moment. In every single class that I went to,

you could almost see their little wheels turning in their head.

Then the hands started going up,

and I had them actually rank who they thought had the best values and who had the worst.

And we did have a little discussion about what values were. We talked about things like winning,

creativity, honesty, peace, belonging, friendships,

integrity,

reputation,

fairness.

And so after the students kind of ranked what they thought each character valued most and ranked who had what they believe to be the best values to the least values,

we discussed it,

and it was really neat to see how the kids reacted and how they saw the values,

because we found out in the story that each character valued something different.

And our kiddos,

they had different values, too.

And many of them said that Maddie wasn't really bad.

She just valued success more than rules.

She valued winning, and there's nothing wrong with winning.

A lot of them thought that was actually a great trait.

And several students admitted they might have done what Caleb or Jordan did, stay quiet to keep the peace.

That honestly told me a lot about what our kids were dealing with. Kids at this age really worry about relationships.

I mean, they see relationships and friendships as fragile.

And the fear of losing one can be bigger than doing what's right.

And I think that's why this lesson matters,

because that's the heart of this work, helping students see that values aren't just beliefs, they're actions.

And we talked about how easy it is to say you believe in honesty, fairness, or kindness.

But real values show up when those things cost you something.

And we ask questions like, why did Ava tell the truth even though it made Maddie mad?

What could have Caleb or Jordan have done differently?

And even did Ava fess up because,

well, the judges found out,

or would she have said something without that?

We also talked about what happens when we stay quiet about something that we know with was wrong.

And we connected everything about the story back to our lives at school.

And I asked them, where do we see moments like this here?

And you should have seen it, because the answers, my friends, they just poured out of them. Like when somebody copies homework and you don't say anything when your friend's being mean to someone and you don't stop them.

That was the big dilemma of my day today.

Talking about what we should have done there.

Friends being mean to someone and he didn't stop them.

When you laugh at a joke that hurts someone just so people don't think you're boring.

I mean, these are the real life moral dilemmas our kids are facing every single day.

And it's not because they don't know what's right.

It's because they're afraid of the fallout.

They're afraid of losing friends,

of standing out,

of being seen as maybe the good kid.

And that's really why I love lessons like this one,

because it gives them a safe space to wrestle with those feelings before they have to Face them in real life.

When we process a story like this together,

our kids are realizing that it's normal to feel torn between doing what's right and fitting in,

that everyone feels scared sometimes when speaking up.

But standing by your values, it builds trust. It builds confidence and respect,

even if you don't win the prize.

And we ended our lesson with one reflection prompt that really stuck.

If your friends expect you to break the rules,

stay quiet, or hurt someone,

is that friendship,

or is it pressure?

And that really led to some really powerful responses from these kiddos.

One of my students said, real friends wouldn't make me lie.

And another said, if I had a friend like Ava,

I want to be like her.

And I thought, that's exactly it.

When we help students name and live their values, we're giving them the language and the courage to really be that kind of friend.

And if you want to try this in your own school,

my friends, here's how you can set it up. Just share the story. I mean, you can read it aloud, project it, or even act it out as a kind of like a reader's theater.

But then have the students identify what each character valued most.

Give them a short list, things like friendship, honesty, winning, loyalty, fairness.

Ask students to rank the characters from who they related to most to the least and talk about why,

and then facilitate a circle discussion.

Ask things like, what would you have done if you were part of the story?

What would you have done?

What's the hardest part about standing up for what's right?

And then connect it to school life?

Ask them, where do we see situations like this here?

What could we do differently next time?

Really, this lesson really aligns beautifully with both our ASCA mindsets and behaviors and the casel competency of responsible decision making.

But even more than that,

it really helps kids connect the dots between what they believe and what they do.

So after the lesson, I had a few students come back later that week and tell me that they thought about the story again,

which I thought was actually pretty cool.

One said, I was in a group project,

and we almost didn't tell the teacher when we got help from the other class.

But I thought about Ava and I said something.

I mean,

wow,

I can't believe you came to tell me that. And, oh, my gosh, am I so proud that my friends made my day.

Because that's what this is about. It's about helping kids practice values in a safe story so that they're ready to act on them in real life.

And it reminded me that as counselors our role isn't to give students all the answers.

It's really to give them space to think,

to reflect,

and to grow.

The choices that they make in these small moments,

whether they stay silent, they speak up,

or they take responsibility,

are the moments that shape their character.

And sometimes it's those quiet courage moments like Ava's that make the biggest impact.

So if you're like me and you've been noticing that your students have been becoming bystanders where you're hearing but everyone else is doing it,

I'm going to urge you to try a moral dilemma story just like this one.

It's a really easy way to start those deeper conversations and help students realize that doing the right thing doesn't mean doing it alone.

Because friendship shouldn't place demands on someone's integrities, and helping kids see that early on help can change everything.

So, my friends, thank you so much for joining me and I hope you will consider adding this lesson into your own counseling program.

If you'd like to grab the Fall Festival Dilemma lesson that I used,

you can find it inside Perks or in my TPT store and I will link both in the comments.

Once again, it's Asuka and Casel aligned and it's ready to use.

Because remember,

values, they grow through action.

So keep noticing,

keep connecting,

and keep doing the amazing work only you can do.

Until next time, my friends. I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat.

All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast.

Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player. And if you would be so kind.

Carol: To leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Carol: Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or.

Carol: Instagram at Counseling Essentials. Until next time.

Carol: Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.

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