Eleni Fuiaxis is a solo mom and author of Picky Patrick the story of an eight-year-old boy who seemingly has it all. Picky Patrick starts off one way and ends up being completely different. The book teaches kids the value of self-awareness, gratitude, tolerance, and inclusion.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How as a mother you can help your kids with their own self-awareness.
• If you've lost your own sense of self, it's not too late to recognize your purpose when life begins to unravel.

[00:05:54] - Losing an identity as a mom.

[00:14:33] - About the book Picky Patrick.

[00:26:00] - How reading to your children helps with your parenting

[00:27:22] - Encouragement for solo moms.

Connect with Eleni on Instagram/Twitter: @elenifuiaxis. And www.mascotbooks.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Don't Parent in Silence

Hello Solo Moms. As a solo mom of three adult sons, I understand the challenges you face on a daily basis. As a mentor, my mission is to help you shift your mindset and empower you to take control of your life, to see yourself as God sees you. I know that unresolved trauma can be a heavy burden to carry and parenting alone can be a lonely journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have the strength and resilience to overcome your challenges and create the life you desire. Speaker 1: 0:41 I want to help you to make the effort to tackle unresolved trauma and change your perspective so you can live the life you deserve. I offer complimentary consultation where we can discuss how to move forward, create a plan to help you heal and empower you. You can schedule a consultation by emailing me at jen@jrosemarie.com or by calling + 1-917-994-1329 (WhatsApp), or schedule a consultation with the link below. I am here for you and I want to help you take the first step toward healing and empowerment. Don't let unresolved trauma hold you back any longer. Don't parent in silence. Take action today and let's work together to empower you to live the life you desire. Thank you.

Eleni Fuiaxis: Thank you so much, Rosemarie. It's a pleasure to be here.

Thank you for having me. I have a special place in my heart for

all moms. J. Rosemarie: Okay, good, good. Well, you know, we're special, so

Yes. Yes. Okay. So you're a, solo mom and I always wanna know this story. How did you become a, solo mom. Eleni Fuiaxis: So I've been, I was married for 20 years and then my marriage fell apart. It started to come undone at the time I had, I was. I was telling [00:02:00] stories to my children and I was trying to put them to sleep and I would be so tired. I would have, I was working full time and I was juggling a million things and I would get so tired. And my children started saying to me, I was making, made up stories, Rosemarie and my children would. Mommy, write it down, write it down. They would fall asleep and wake up the following morning. And they would say what happened to Christopher? Did he make it back to save the world? And I would say, I don't remember. I'm exhausted. And they would say, write it down, write it down. As I started collecting my stories and writing them down, my marriage kind of fell apart. Mm. And then when that happened, I really lost myself. I just became, you know, confused about my future.

Mm-hmm mm-hmm . So at that point, this was eight years ago is when my single mom journey began. Okay. And interestingly enough, at that point is really when my self, as an author also started to develop mm-hmm and eight years later, I just published my first children's book. J. Rosemarie: Oh, okay. Congratulations. Eleni Fuiaxis: Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So it's been a long road. J. Rosemarie: Yeah, absolutely. So I hear the word self a lot in your, in your explaining how things were or [00:05:00] how you became a, solo mom, do you think that maybe. You you lost, are you thinking you lost your identity during your marriage and Eleni Fuiaxis: absolutely. All right. Yeah, I really do. J. Rosemarie: Okay. And looking back, what does that look like?

But when I finished that meditation, I was getting ready for work. And something inside me, like my deep intuition said, get to the computer and you have a story to tell and write it down. And I was like, I kind of struggling with myself. Like, I don't have time for this right now. I'll do it later. And I was like, You need to sit and be still. Yeah. And go write, you need to write, write it down. Yeah. So I sat down and this story poured out of me. I have struggled to write other things, but this story right after that, meditation just poured out of me. Almost like tears or blood would flow. It was incredible. I've never experienced anything like that. And I realized when I looked down that I had written my first children's [00:09:00] book, exactly the way it's published today, I didn't do the illustrations, but almost word for word, except for some editing. That's the story that poured out of me. And this was a huge awakening because I was like. am I an author? I get, I was asking the question. Who am I? Yeah, yeah. And the answer, the resounding answer that I was getting. Writing. Yeah. And sharing stories. Yeah. And storytelling. And I was like, that was never a part of my identity up until then. Right. I was embracing it to do it for my children when they were like, mom, write these stories down, you know? And I, I wanted to keep my promise to my children and they inspired part of that journey. But this has taken me on a completely different ride. Rose Marine. Yes. J. Rosemarie: And, and we'll talk about the book in a minute, but I ask you that question because a lot of times when our [00:10:00] marriage end we kind of get lost. We're not even asking the questions because we don't know that we should be asking that question. And, and so we get lost and we, we spiral out of control and we end up suffering because we don't take care of ourselves. So that's why I ask, because it seems you quickly realize that you needed to ask that question that you, you ask. Who am I? And you found the resources to help you unravel who you are. Yes. Who you are. Yes. And then, you know, because you, you were searching, you got the answer in that children in the, you know, the children's book. So yeah, I, that's why I asked question.

Even if it's in your head, the answers come. If you're looking, if you are, if you're seeking the answers will come and you'll find them. So that's, that's what happened to you. And that's what we see, you know, unfold in your life. So tell us about the book. Okay. Tell us as much as you can about the book.

So when I was taking time to tell [00:15:00] them stories or read them stories, I was like, I needed something that was gonna do double and triple duty. Yeah. Yeah. And I recognize. That's what I wove into this story. It's this little boy who has self awareness. And through this story, it's kind of like a journey because he starts off, you know, one way and ends up being completely different. Mm-hmm and. It's, there's definitely a journey of self discovery. And this book really promotes SEL, which is the acronym for social, emotional learning. Okay. Which is part of the core curriculum now in New York city. I didn't even realize when I started to write this book eight years ago, that that's what it was. But basically I was like, as a mom I want my children to have values. Yes. I want them to understand gratitude. Mm-hmm I want them to be self-aware. I want them to [00:16:00] have tolerance. I want them to be inclusive of other children and to be kind and have empathy. And I was like, how can I. As a mother and now budding author weave these lessons into the stories. Yeah. And I've managed to do that, and that's, what's really powerful about this book and really unique about it. So it weaves the lessons into the story. And then also at the end of this story, I had never seen this in a children's book. What I did was I added prompts. So there's 14 questions at the end of the book. Mm-hmm and they ask you, so it's basically a resource for teachers or single moms or parents or grandparents, a lot of times as single solo moms, grandparents, or helping take care of the kids. Yes. Or we to them. So you are reading this story. You get to the end of the story. There are questions there, and it's a wonderful [00:17:00] tool. If you just ask the questions, they really lead to the, the discovery that children are having. Mm-hmm after reading the story. Yeah. So I'll give an example, like I'm reading it in the classroom. So I say to my class, I'll do a read aloud and then I'll say, okay. Patrick had a problem in this story. And he asked for help.

Mm-hmm because children see themselves in the character. And then as you talk about the character, they talk about how it pertains to their own life. Yes. So I say, okay, you're not asking for help. What do you do? I talked to my pets. Another student said, I like to draw. Another student. So they were all sharing their problem solving and self soothing skills. And I was like, wow. Yeah, this is invaluable. J. Rosemarie: Yeah, it is. And, and that, that's very helpful to see how they express themselves differently, but it also exposed the fact that they're carrying their own load, which is not really good for them. Cause that's what the parents there for. Eleni Fuiaxis: Well, I agree with you. Yeah. But that's why it's so important for [00:19:00] the, for the parents to read this, like I said, or the caregiver. Yeah. You know, because it's important if you're reading those questions and you're asking the questions because that's a tool and a resource, once you buy the book, What you said was so insightful. It's important for the mother to acknowledge my child is not asking for help. Right. Or my child thinks I'm going to get angry. Yeah. Maybe I'm responding in a way that is coming off angry, or maybe I need to, you know, take a breath. Yes. And, you know collect myself and gather my thoughts before. I address the situation or whatever it is that's happening.

Or what's something you would like to share and, you know, I promise mommy's not gonna get mad. Right. Or share something that happened at school today that you wanted to tell me sometimes Rosemarie, we don't give them the place or the space. Yes. Yes. We, they see how busy we are. Yes. And they need to know. I see you.

I hear you and you matter. Yes. And I promise you, once you turn your phone off mm-hmm and once you shut those devices down yes. And they see that you are engaged and committed with them. You would not believe the things that they will start sharing. Yeah. And it's such a powerful thing as a mother. Yes.

To hear those things from a child. Yes. And to know those

things.

Eleni Fuiaxis: From them. Yeah. Yeah. Believe me. It's an incredible gift that they give me every day. It's such a privilege. Yes. They share so much. Mm-hmm and they know I, I, they, they just.

Are genuinely innately innocent and they're built to share. Yes. Yeah. Adults are not like that. We start as we get older, right?

J. Rosemarie: Yes, yes. Yes. They,

Eleni Fuiaxis: the children are not like that. No. So that's why I'm so thrilled about these questions for discussion, because any parent or care. You know, even in the schools, they can use it as a resource in the classroom to share and have these discussions with the children.

Mm-hmm , mm-hmm because it's magical and it's so profound, the connection that you can make with these students. Yes.

J. Rosemarie: Yes. True. True. All right. Thank you. I like that. Okay. So what is Elini grateful for today?

Eleni Fuiaxis: Oh, wow. That's a great question. I'm grateful to be here with you. And I'm grateful that I'm at the point where I am not, you know, a famous author.

I'm not a famous speaker, but I feel grateful that I have a place in my heart. That I wanna share and lift somebody else up mm-hmm and that I'm able to do that because no matter how dark or difficult our day gets, we always have, you know, something we could share that will lift somebody else's spirit.

J. Rosemarie: Yes, that's for sure. that's true. That's why I always wanna hear them

yes. All right.

Eleni Fuiaxis: Yes. Everyone has a story in them. Yeah. And yes, my heart is just full of gratitude for being here and talking to other moms out there. Take care of yourselves, give yourself grace, give yourself, kindness. And that's the way the children learn.

Yeah. A lot of parents, I see parents being so hard on themselves and they tell their kids. To, to be kind and to be patient, to have grace. And I'm like, they have to see it from us.

J. Rosemarie: Mm-hmm , mm-hmm they have to experience it.

Yes. We're not just seeing it. Yeah. They're seeing it and their experiencing it through us. And we're modeling that behavior. Yes. And that's a gift we can give to our children. Mm-hmm .

Yep, absolutely true. So how can we get in touch with

you so you can follow me on Instagram my handle is @elenifuiaxis.nyc and then also @elenifuiaxis on Twitter.

And the, the book you can buy on Amazon, amazon.com. Okay. Picky Patrick. And there's more manuscripts coming. Okay. So I have three more finished manuscripts, so, oh, working hard, juggling

it all.

J. Rosemarie: That's great. Looking forward to that. And do you have a website?

Eleni Fuiaxis: Yes. Well, I'm, I'm building my own website. It's going to be the .

www.kidswelove.com, but you can go to www.mascotbooks.com and just search for picky Patrick right

now.

Eleni Fuiaxis: And share, share thoughts and energy and yeah.

What books are, what books you're reading to your children. Yeah. I love getting in mom groups and seeing what moms are reading to their kids. And yeah, like I said, we have so little time now in the day and we're being pulled in so many different directions now more than ever. That I really think if you're gonna pull out a book like this book teaches opposites, it teaches animal recognition.

Mm-hmm it teaches gratitude and self-awareness, so let's really be conscious of how we're spending our time, what we're reading to our children. Right. Take the time. You can read this book to them in under seven minutes, I timed it and then take 10 minutes for the questions and the discussion or whatever I'm telling you.

your greatest creation, your child.

J. Rosemarie: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. All right. So you gave me a few points. You gave us a few points. You encouragement the solo moms. Give me one piece of advice before you go for solo moms.

Eleni Fuiaxis: I really, we hear the, so the time that it takes a village and you cannot do it alone. So it's so important to surround yourself with people.

So maybe you can meet up with other moms and go to a local library where an author like myself is doing a read aloud and this way your children are engaging with other children. You're making connection with other moms and dads and other parents. And you. Like likeminded, you know, activities and the same values.

Yes. So I think that that's a great resource. The other one I wanna add is do I call it a children exchange. I used to do this with my sister. I have three sisters, but my one sister had children who were close in age with my boys and what we did on the weekends, Rosemary, we would swap kids. Mm. So that's interesting sometimes would.

They're helping clean up the dishes mm-hmm and do chores. And the other thing we would do. Sometimes I would take, you know I would have my kids and take her kids as well and do find a way when you have someone that you know, and that you trust to find, incorporate an activity that you can do together and then kind of give yourself a break.

It doesn't even have to be a weekend. Maybe you could just go out and have a walk and listen to music. Or maybe you play an instrument and you haven't picked it up since you had your kids. My kids were like shocked that I play tennis because they didn't even know I could play. Right. And I'm like, that was BC before children

And when your children see that you're modeling really, that that's a good thing for them to see as well.

J. Rosemarie: Yes, definitely. Thank you. Yeah, because you know, they can see they, you know, a lot of time we tell them what to do, but most of the lessons learned from what they see you do.

Eleni Fuiaxis: A thousand percent every day.

Just try again. But are they seeing us fail? Are they seeing us trying again? Yes. And again, yeah. And again, yeah, so I'm proud of myself for that because. I'm modeling this behavior for my children, because they have seen me down and out. Trust me my, and I'm starting to pick myself back up and find myself and now find my way as an author.

Mm-hmm and now go to schools and do read alouds and inspire other children and other budding authors. Yeah. So they see that it is possible. To fail to lose your publisher, to lose the contract, to lose the job, to lose the friend, to lose the husband mm-hmm , but still find yourself yes. And find your purpose and still live.

A fulfilled life. Yes,

appreciate you.

Eleni Fuiaxis: Thank you so much. The pleasures, all mine. . Thank you so much for what you're doing. Rosemary. It's such a wonderful mission and wonderful podcast.

This is a great resource.

Thank you for all moms.

J. Rosemarie: Thank you. Thank you very much,

Eleni Fuiaxis: God bless.

J. Rosemarie: I'm excited to share that Solomon's talk is now on YouTube. Check out these interviews on our new channel. SoloMoms! Talk TV. There you will actually see the interaction between myself and my guests. You will also find bite size clips of daily inspiration to help you manage your struggles of everyday life.

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