On today's episode of the Becoming the Big Me podcast your host Djemilah Birnie has another special guest for the great conquest project, Jennifer Aube. Jennifer Aube is passionate about helping others find financial freedom and fulfillment in their lives. She aims to help as many people as possible to discover the ease that can come with control over their finances. Jennifer is a mother, the author of the book “Naked Wealth: Have Tough Money Conversations to Achieve Financial Intimacy and Freedom”, and she works with couples daily to move towards greater financial literacy and freedom. Through Jennifer’s journey she has had to learn the lesson of living life for herself and overcoming the obstacle that so many find themselves in, of living their life for others. 

Jennifer would put it, her transformation wasn’t in the form of one major event, it wasn’t instant,  more so, it was a slow burn, a transformation over the journey of life. Gradually learning, gradually becoming more steadfast to the vision, becoming better and better each day of being free from the trap of others opinions. 

This is Jennifer’s story.

Connect:

If you would like to connect and learn more about Jennifer Aube you can connect with her on Instagram at @jenniferaube_

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To get out her new book visit bit.ly/greatconquest

To Connect More with Djemilah Visit www.djemilah.com

>>Learn more about the Becoming the Big Me: The Great Conquest book visit www.thegreatconquest.com 

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Becoming the Big Me: The Great Conquest is a collection of empowering, motivating, and educational stories that will tug at your heart strings while empowering you to step into your own Big Me potential. From addiction, illness, lack of confidence, loss of loved ones, PTSD, and more the contributors of this book have walked through darkness and emerged victorious.

The Becoming the Big Me: The Great Conquest book has been brought to you by a collection of leaders paving the path of the future in their given fields. Within its pages you will find insight from Djemilah Birnie, Sharon Lechter, Nick Wingo, Dr. Frances Malone, Jenny Emerson, Russel Creed, Jennifer Aube, Valerie Fischer, Cory & JoJo Rankin, Peter Neilson, Kiki Rae, Tanya Milano-Snell, Dannah Macalinga-Pedrigal, and Kira Birnie.

This book was envisioned and brought together by Djemilah Birnie, the founder of Becoming the Big Me.

After overcoming many obstacles that could easily break a person, Djemilah has become passionate about helping others face their glass ceilings and break into the expansiveness of their potential.

Djemilah believes that we are all on a journey... There is never a point in which you have "Made It". Becoming the Big Me is about choosing to step into your greater potential each and every day. It is about learning and sometimes messing up but always getting back up.

This book has been compiled to showcase the journeys of overcoming. However, through this journey it becomes so much more. As each author told their story Djemilah noticed a common thread- something that made all of these amazing humans stand out even when faced with adversity.

Through the process of this book Djemilah discovered what she calls "the secret to overcoming obstacles and Becoming the Big Me." The greatest secret is the steps are simple and we have all heard them before.... the greatest secret is in the actual doing.

This book features; Djemilah Birnie the best selling author of Luna's Balloon: A Little Book About the Little Things, Sharon Lechter the author of Think and Grow Rich for Women, co author of Rich Dad Poor Dad, and an ambassador to the Napoleon Hill Foundation, Nick Wingo the founder behind building Grit, Dr. Frances Malone the founder of Malone Pediatrics and the Intuitive Parents Collective, Valerie Fischer the woman behind the trademark of Brain Science Selling, Peter Neilson the "Hybrid Guy", Jenny Emerson licensed therapist, Russell Creed the founder of Invictus Life, Tanya Milano-Snell who is on a mission to break generational trauma, Jennifer Aube best selling author of the book Naked Wealth, Kiki Rae the founder of Quantum Creatrix, Cory and JoJo Rankin founders of RFamilyStrong, Dannah Macolinga-Pedrigal VA and mother, and Kira Birnie the daughter of Djemilah Birnie and kid behind A Kid's Perspective.

To learn more about the book you can visit, www.thegreatconquest.com

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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie the founder of Becoming the Big Me. I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. I am passionate about discovering the "secrets" of our world and what is the true difference maker. Why is it that some succeed and others do not? What is it that allows people to get back up and keep going even in the midst of hardships? What truly is the power of purpose? These are the questions that rattle my mind.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here: http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Do you want to fall asleep faster, rest deeper, and release the stress of the day? Then it's time for you to experience your best nights rest with the Dreamland Meditation Pack! Over 200 minutes of bedtime meditations to quiet your mind, connect your mind to your body, and bring you to your sleepy time bliss.https://www.djemilah.com/dreammeditation

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! ‎https://akidsperspective.us/

In addition to my online offerings I am extremely passionate about giving back to the local community while cultivating community growth. I am the organizer and host of the Wimberley Women's Circle https://wimberleywomen.com/ , where we gather monthly to learn and heal from different community leaders.

I am also the visionary behind Wimberley Moonlight Farms, a small family owned farm and nursery located in Wimberley, Texas. This is a journey that will take many years as we continue to develop, follow along at https://wimberleymoonlightfarms.com/

My partner and I have also put together a local directory for our town in the Texas Hill Country in which I have been having so much joy going to all of the local hot spots to photograph! Learn more at https://www.wimberley.info/

Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇

Website: www.djemilah.com

Blog : www.becomingthebigme.com

Podcast : www.bigmepodcast.com

Books : http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/becomingthebigme/

New Book: Becoming the Big Me: The Great Conquest Book: | A Collection of Empowering Stories | By Djemilah Birnie, Sharon Lechter, and Contributing Authors https://www.thegreatconquest.com/

Unknown Speaker 0:05

Hello divine souls, Jamila Bernie here with becoming the big me. I'm so excited for this special segment of the becoming the big me podcast. This section of the podcast is dedicated towards sharing the stories of conquest for some incredible individuals. They are also featured in my latest book, becoming the big, the great conquest. In this section of the podcast, we will dive deep into each of their stories and their journeys and their hardships from addiction, PTSD, loss of loved ones and children. This segment of the podcast is dedicated towards sharing their stories and in sharing their journeys not only of the hardships but sharing how they overcame. To learn more about the author's behind the stories that you are going to hear, go to the great conquest.com And if you would like to purchase a copy of the great conquest book, you can go to bit.li/great conquest. And without further ado, let's dive into the amazing journeys

Unknown Speaker 1:35

Hello, hello, welcome back to the becoming the big money podcast. I'm your host Djemilah Birnie, and I'm so excited you guys, I have an amazing individual with me today. I'm so excited to introduce you guys to Jennifer Avi, Jennifer is passionate about helping others find financial freedom and fulfillment in their lives. She aims to help as many people as possible to discover the ease that can come with control over their finances. Jennifer's a mother, the author of the book, naked wealth, have tough money conversations to achieve financial intimacy and freedom. And she works with couples daily to move towards greater financial literacy and freedom. Through Jennifer's journey, she has had to learn the lesson of living life for herself, and overcoming the obstacle that so many find themselves in a living their life. For others. As Jennifer would put it, her transformation wasn't in the form of one major event. It wasn't in one single incident more. So it was a slow burn a transformation over the journey of life. Gradually learning gradually becoming more steadfast to the vision becoming better and better each day of being free from the trap of others opinions. Jennifer, I'm so glad to be able to speak with you. And to hear more about your journey of becoming the woman, the mother and the business owner that you are today. through any journey, there's going to be obstacles both big and small, that you must conquer in order to make it to your goal. Can you bring us back in time a little bit, you know, before you have created all that you have all that has come into existence. Now, back when your path wasn't quite so clear. And when you found maybe you were living living more for others, unless by yourself? Can you kind of bring us back to that time? And and what were you doing at this time? And where was your head at?

Unknown Speaker 3:37

Sure. So thanks, first of all, for having me, I really appreciate the opportunity to chat with you today. So I wasn't always working with people in the finance field of financial services. I actually started my career in special education, but the way I fell into special education had less to do with me. And more to do with the fact that I had no idea what I wanted. And sort of looking at the narrow focus of probably expectations set forth before me. And so I was in college, and I finished college with not a great GPA. I had an undergrad undergrad degree in psychology because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. And then I said what do I do with this? So the only thing I could think of was to keep going to school. And I wasn't doing it because I was so passionate about special education or so passionate about psychology or any of these things. It was all defaulting, I just kept defaulting into things. And I just would find myself somewhere and say, Okay, I guess is this is what I'm doing right now. And I know that my family highly values education. So I wanted to make sure that you know, at least I was pleasing somebody and doing the right thing by continuing on in that path, so I went on to get a master's degree in special ed. And then I started teaching, and it quickly realize this is absolutely not what I want to be doing. It was I was not good at it. It wasn't for me, I was in a middle school life skills classroom working with kids who might certification was in severe disabilities. And these kids were more on the behavioral side of things. And so that was a big challenge for me. But I realized this isn't what I want to be doing. And I just didn't know how I got there. I look back at it, I get here. So I thought, what's the next path forward and I going back to school again, because again, I just defaulted into that. Well, education is valuable, that'll be great. And I got to DeBeer in a degree in severe disabilities. And I continued on working with technology for kids with disabilities. And I started a consulting business, I realized I didn't want to work for other people. So that was the first time when I really realized, okay, what is it I want? What is it I don't want and I stopped defaulting, I finally was able to CERN that I wanted to work for me. I wanted work life integration, I wanted to blaze my own path, and not be told what I'm doing and not be defaulting anymore. So I started my own business. And that's the first time it really clicked for me. And I said, Okay, I can do me, I can make my own choices. And I can build something that has me in the center of it instead of just falling into other people's paths. So that was the first time that really hit me.

Unknown Speaker 6:43

Yeah, often, you know, in life, when we find ourselves living without that intention, it can feel as if we're just drifting along. How did you go from, you know, that living without intention to living with the intention through, you know, it sounds like creating your business, but what was that? Like? Was there an internal shift that that happened

Unknown Speaker 7:09

during that timeframe?

Unknown Speaker 7:10

That's something that I think is really important to highlight is oftentimes, you know, while we're in the midst of the obstacle, while we're in the midst of the chaos and the craziness that, you know, life, inevitably will throw at us, we don't realize that what's happening in that moment, and those lessons that we're learning that person, that woman that you became through that journey through realizing that gives us the tools to step in and to continue to grow and to continue that journey. And it sounds to me like you really did learn through that process, a lot of lessons that you're continuing to learn in your journey now.

For sure, and those lessons have really allowed me to help others you know, through that through going through a divorce, I realized things happen to your what you just said, you know, curveballs are thrown, inevitably they're going to happen. And as much as we think it's not going to happen to me. You might you might, you might not gonna know which things gonna happen you it's something something curveballs happen, that's part of life. And so when I'm working with people on their finances, one of the things that we talk about is key, what are the risks? What are the curveballs that can come at any moment? Have you thought about them? If you talked about them? Have you prepared for them because my goal is that whatever is thrown at people are being proactive, not reactive. And they're setting their intention on what's important to them, you know, not everybody has the same priorities, nor should they but that you're really thinking through your financial situation through the lens of your prayers and your personal goals and not just falling back into, you know, what your family dictates. And you know, that's where sometimes you can have some struggle with your spouse, and some dissonance because if your spouse comes from a different place, and you come from a different place, and you know, not just kind of resting on Oh, well, my mom stayed home, so my wife's gonna stay home. And that's that, you know, that could create some significant dissonance if you're marrying somebody who fully intends on working. So yeah, so using those lessons, is well as you know, simply the lesson that you don't know what's gonna come at you. No one expects a pregnancy to end in, you know, a 22 week loss, you know, that it's not something you expect when you go into it. No one expects a marriage to end in divorce either, or anything like that. Yeah.

So something I know that you believe in a lot is just in the power of those small consistent actions, whether that be you know, in your personal life or with your finances, and just through this conversation, did that you kind of have that lesson. When was learned through that process where you learned, like, Hey, I have to do this thing this specific time is that something that you still kind of do now with your personal habits?

Oh, 100%, I mean, 180% even more than that. Like I said, I don't think I learned I learned the lesson. But I didn't internalize the lesson then Right. And over the years, especially since going through a divorce, I really started taking accountability for my actions, I really started paying attention to the small details, it's the details of your day that really dictate your future, even though it may seem miniscule, you know, missing one tooth brushing sessions, not a big deal. But if you don't brush your teeth, brush your teeth for three years, you're probably going to have problems, but you need to brush every single day in order to have healthy teeth. And it's much the same. So those little tiny habits are super critical and play a big role in my life, I use the power list every day where I write down my top three to five tasks that are deal breakers that have to get done. And it's not just the having them written, but also the celebrating when you get those things done. Because even if you don't get done everything in your day, which you inevitably won't, because of those curveballs, if you can get done those most important things and again, through that filter of is this moving me towards my goal, or away from my goal? And really making sure it's each activity is processed through that lens that gets on the list. Is it moving me toward or away from? And how is it helping me and what are the top three things I need to do to hit that goal? So yeah, I do a lot of vision, casting and setting goals annually. And again, making sure what those little tasks are in order to move me forward to those goals.

And, and that's just really helping you to stay clear set on your vision, which I just love, because Jennifer helps you move through your life making those decisions for yourself. Because I know that something that when we were speaking before, our interview that you talked about is through life, you know, we can go and through life making choices for others, but understanding that we are in the driver's seat is such an important factor in moving forward. And I love that you have those small little habits to keep the needle moving steadily. Do you think that having these set habits has helped when there are little hiccups in the road? So you don't go astray?

Definitely. I mean, there are days when you know, things happen, right? So say I'm gonna make 20 phone calls or send five emails or whatever it may be. And all of a sudden, my child ends up at the emergency room. Right? Those may not happen. But I know what I'm doing the next day, I'm picking that right back up. It's not like I've got this huge long task this but it also if I am in a situation where my child is at the emergency room, and I know that it's five emails, well, there's a lot of sitting around those types of things. So I can use allows me to focus my time better if I'm in the pickup line. I'll go ahead and you know, look at my list. Is there anything I can accomplish here? Oh, great. I can get some social media stuff done. So it 100% helps stay focused, especially when things get derailed because you're really breaking things down into small chunks. It's like oh, I don't if I think, Okay, I'm gonna write a book this year. I don't have time to do that. I'm so busy. But if I think Okay, today, I'm writing the bio, or the intro, or I'm gonna, you know, dictate one chapter and get some ideas out or write the outline and just taking everything it takes life into much smaller chunks so that you can really achieve big things. I heard a story once about, oh, goodness, I'm totally blanking, a basketball coach, John Wooden, and he was staring at the floor. And somebody who was sitting next to him, I believe it was Jason Selke said to him, John, what is going on? Why aren't you looking at your players and looking at the scoreboard, you're staring at the floor? And he said, I'm watching your feet. I know if they run in diagonals, they're doing well. Because, you know, he said, well, not until he doesn't keep his eye on the scoreboard. He keeps it on the little tiny movements along the way of the team. And so that's that's really resonated with me and that's what I try to do. I try to focus to make sure I'm looking at the small details and the day to day activities that will move me forward and not at the scoreboard.

I love that you break things down into those little chunks because it really helps us overcome that obstacle that many of us face of that paralysis analysis right like It's just so big that we just don't even know where to step. Mm hmm.

Yeah. And I think it's super important to break things down. I mean, if I looked at if you told me a year ago, that during COVID I was going like, Okay, your goals this year, I bought a little tiny while my husband I a little tiny vacation place. And I wrote a book. And, you know, I had my best year in business ever. If you said, Okay, you're gonna go do all that this very big. Okay, shut down done. You know, that's too much. It's too much. But yeah, if you break it down, you'd be surprised how far you go. And it's just like, Okay, if this is my goal, what do I need to do to get there? What's one step, one step you can do to move the needle in the right direction, you don't have to do and you just have to move it by even an inch, just a little bit, just creep it up. And what's one thing I can do to do that, if you can't, you know, I just was reading David Goggins book, and he talks a lot about how you don't have to, he didn't start running 100 miles, he started with like telephone poles, you know, or half a mile, just, you just do that, you just and then push yourself 10% more the next day. So just increase your effort by a little bit to move the needle. And it's really, I mean, it amazes me, I look back, and I think, Oh, my goodness, like, it's amazing how it adds up in time by so quickly. But all of a sudden, you turn around, and you're somewhere where you meant to be, instead of didn't mean to be. And you know that you got there by doing these small tasks. But if you looked at it as just the big picture instead of the task that would have seemed insurmountable.

And that's what happens when you move through life with that differentness of purpose. When you look at those obstacles, you know, just as you were saying, Jennifer, when you look at those obstacles with how can I overcome this? Do? does it align with where I'm going? And and when you move through with that divineness of purpose, it helps you to make those choices, those day to

day, throw off the things that are not in alignment. And that's been huge. That's been huge. You know, if, if someone says to me now, oh, do you want to come sit at a restaurant and just chat for three hours about the weather? Is that moving me towards my goal? It probably isn't. And so if it was, then it'd be different, but I'll be like, you know, what, that's probably not something right now that I want in my life, you know, and also relationships, is this relationship conducive to where I'm going? Or is it only to where I've been? And really filtering through where you're spending your time? And that's can be hard, but I think it's important.

Do you periodically, go do time audit?

In terms of schedule,

just to take inventory of where you are spending your time to get a better, you know, under

picture, I would say I do that ongoing, I do not have a minute on accounted for. If you asked me where I was on, you know, may 16, at 2pm I 100% can tell you where I was, and what I was probably doing. I use every minute of every day. So I wouldn't say it's something I do ongoing. Because I am so incredibly busy with four kids, one who one of my daughters does competitive volleyball, and one of them does competitive dance. I have a husband who also owns a business and I help him with his paperwork and things like that. Plus, I have my own business. And I'm doing 75 hard right now and I just was doing a book I'm always have so many balls in the air. It forces me to function with utmost efficiency and intention.

Can we talk about work life integration? Because I know that that's something that so many mothers really have a hard time with, I mean, or parents in general.

Yeah. Yeah. That's an absolute goal for me. So when I'm aligning my life decisions, I'm ABS my time is money and time are very, very close to equal to each other and time to have work life integration. And I am I like to have if I want to take a walk at 10am with a friend I'm I want to be able to do that if I want to be able to work remotely for two weeks or take a vacation I want to be able to do that. So that is absolutely important to me. And I also one thing that is a deal breaker for me is driving my children to where they need to be I spend a lot of time in the car. And a lot of people say that's waste that's wasted time that's wasted time. Well, I listen to podcasts when I'm driving, I call, the time when I catch up with friends is when I'm driving. When I'm sitting in the pickup line for something or waiting outside of dance or volleyball, I usually have my laptop, and I'm either working on my social media or something I can do remotely. So that is, it's very, very important to me to have work life integration and not be able to miss things. So again, when I'm making a decision on something I've say, Is this a deal breaker for me that I want to be part of or not, for me grocery shopping, I don't care about going. I mean, I love food. And I like, I'd love to have the time to go to the farmers market and the farm for the dairy and the approach and for the meat and all that, but honestly, I just don't. So I will use grocery delivery service sometimes because that is something I that, you know, do groceries, how does that fit in? To where I want to go? And is it gonna really affect me if I don't go and I have someone else go? No, it's not boom, I'll have someone else do that. cleaning my house is that something I can offload to somebody else. But again, driving my kids is important to me, because some of our best conversations happen in the car. And so I'm not willing to give that one out. But I found ways to make that time, a little more efficient. So it's absolutely doable. But again, you do have to be very, very strategic and very aware of where your time is being spent. If you're sitting in the pickup line watching Netflix, that might be okay, but do you have time? Or is there something else that needs to be getting done? You know, um, can you take a can you get on a work zoom call while you folks fold some laundry? I, I'm generally multitasking. But again, not in a way, I don't want to multitask in a way that takes my attention away from what I'm working on. either. You know, I think it's very important to that we're not like I'm the math master multitasker. Because generally, if you're doing everything, you're dropping something so

this level of you know, scheduling really takes a level of discipline that most people haven't developed. What are some ways that you have helped to develop your discipline? To get yourself to be in this place?

Ah, in get if you could react?

Yeah, like, what are some ways that you have cultivated developing your own personal discipline and control over your schedule, right? Because a lot of times people will find themselves losing a lot of time to things like social media or Netflix, like you mentioned, what are some things that you have done to help build that level of discipline for yourself? Because it's not something that just comes easy for most people?

The power list has been a huge help for me. So number one is I have that with me. So there are pockets in everybody's day, right? So I have my assistants who book my schedule for me, I don't book my own calendar. So they book my calendar. And I generally have to wake up every morning and say, What am I doing today? So in terms of my where am I at nine, where am I? Where am I at 11. They've usually booked in my day. But they also are aware of when I have the kids when I have activities when I'm not going to be at the office, or when I'm not going to be available for a phone call because I'm doing something else. So those appointments happen in the time blocks I've given them. These are appointment time blocks, when my children have a dentist appointment or orthodontist or physical therapy or whatever scheduled. I give that to my assistant so they get it in there. So that time is preserved. And when I have like a vacation planned or even the school calendar, I give that to my assistants every year too. So I make sure everything gets in my calendar. So these are an IF appointment comes in that I book, I say okay, well, I have a 9am appointment block and I don't take up a block that's not there. It has to go in one of the appointment blocks. And then all the time in between right or the time when something gets canceled. So inevitably, few times a week someone calls in and says I can't do my appointment with Jim this week. Can we reschedule? Now I could take that time and just go, okay, cool. I'm just gonna relax now, but generally, and maybe I will do that. But first I go to that power list. Have I accomplished everything on my list. So those things in my power list are not time bound. In my day to day, they have to get done by the time I go to bed. So I might get up at 5am and bang them all out first thing, but if and I usually do, I guess start my day very, very early in order to get a workout in as well as some paperwork and some reading. So I get stuff done first thing in the morning before anybody else is awake. But then those other things that remain on the list get slotted in when I have a cancellation, or they get slotted in, like I said in the pickup line they get wherever they can, but I do not stop for the day until they're done.

Could you describe the power list just a little bit more for our audience who is not associated with Andy or Ed?

Sure. So the power list is the top critical tasks you need to accomplish for the day. So critical tasks are not going to be 20 tasks, you might have 20 tasks. But that's a to do list the critical tasks or if you have your to do list, for example, and you know, there are three on there that are absolute have to get done. Deal Breaker cannot move on with your day until they're done. Because those are the things that are going to move you towards the direction of your dreams. And they're generally a stretch item. So if you're generally someone who gets up every single day at 5am, and goes for a run, and you don't even think about it, you love it, you do it, that's not gonna go on your power list, it's something that you're not going to be automatic about. So if you wake up in the morning, and you're not accustomed to working out, and you have a fitness goal, you may say one thing is I need a 45 minute workout today that will go on your power list, because it's not something comfortable. Or I want to get in the habit of reading, I wanted to get a habit of reading the Wall Street Journal every single day, I get the Wall Street Journal and I scan the headlines, I just leave it alone for the day. And I realized I wasn't gathering as much as I need out of that in order to really understand what's going on to help the people I'm working with the best. So I put read the Wall Street Journal for 25 minutes every day on my powerless. But now that it's not a Maddox that can come off again. So it's the things that are going to move you closest to your goals. Three to five tasks. Yeah, I love that

I just wanted a little bit more explanation for those because it is such a powerful tool for moving you forward. And, you know, as Jennifer has discussed so much throughout this interview is just the power of those consistent actions. Compounding over time, is what I love about the power list because it helps people get out of that, like that sprint and burn out mentality that the internet has kind of brought us into, and brings us back to that. Okay, to accomplish these big things, I have to take these steady actions over time. Yes. So if you could, if you could give yourself you know, a piece of advice from earlier on in your journey from the knowledge that you know, now, that would have kind of helped you a little bit more. What is one piece of advice, from your perspective today that you would tell a younger version of yourself?

Sure. Well, it's interesting, because life hits us the way it does, right. And sometimes we might not be ready to receive those lessons, when were younger, but, you know, had I been able to extract wisdom, from experiences I had not gone through, I think I would have told myself to really take a deep inward dive like I was created to be me. And who am I wasn't created to be my sister. I wasn't my mother's clone. I wasn't created to be my best friend. And I went through a lot of life like I'd have, I had a friend who did this weird Blinky squinty thing with her eyes. And I want to do that. So I started doing that, just for the heck of it, because she did. And I thought she was really cool. So you know, but I wasn't meant to be her. I wasn't meant to have that Blinky squinty thing I wasn't born of, you know, bleached blonde, it just wasn't. And so I would say, just take a deep dive like you were created as you. And all those little traits that you say, are there for a reason. They're there for an intention for a purpose that you have in the world. And so don't worry about other people don't worry about their vision for your life, because their vision is going to be different than your vision. So when you come up against people who say, hey, you know what, why are you doing that I don't understand, they're probably not going to understand, because they have a different vision. They weren't giving you your vision and your skill set. And I would tell younger version of myself, to pay attention to that. And know that and not know in your head node in your heart and your soul, and the depth of your gut. And even today, I still struggle with that. But you know, to just know it and be confidently moving forward towards who you were created to be. Because that's when you're going to find the most satisfaction the most happiness and impact the most people

hmm, I just love that. Jennifer, your words, you speak with so much power and conviction. And that just shows the confidence that you have built over time throughout your journey because I know that you haven't always been so as clear confident in your abilities and who you are. And I just love that I can I can hear the confidence coming through your voice.

Yeah, no, I was not always confident at all in it. And that's that's such an important thing too, I'd probably tell a younger version of myself, you know, you're gonna fall down and that's okay. And there was a URL, several years back, there was an event that I attended. And it was a networking thing. I'm horrible at networking. Like I'm horrible. I'm an introvert at its most like, if I can do anything, I'm going to stay home, read a book and take a bath. And if I go out, I drink like, I'm good one on one with people. But in a big group, I'm just you're completely completely drained. So an awkward, I would go to networking events, and I'd hide in a corner and burnin I was on the phone, and just mark the time till it was over. And this one day, I knew I really had to show up at this event, I needed to show up not just physically but mentally and emotionally. And so I spent about two hours in my office and I wrote down all these questions that I could ask people, open ended questions that would get them talking. Not necessarily just what do you do for work, but, you know, tell me about your summer plans or, you know, tell me a little bit about what you do and how it has an impact on people or, you know, just whatever, just all these open ended questions. And I wrote them all down. And then I visualize myself asking them, and then I practice them. And I was in there for two hours with these five open ended questions. Just getting them and memorizing them. And I went into the events and use them. And when I left, someone pulled me aside the sucker, they said, Wow, you are amazing. You have such a way of working a room. And I was like, funny, and I told this person I said, Do you know that I spent two hours practicing. And so sometimes it is hard, you know, but I think as you stumble and you fall, and you do awkward things, and you prepare for something so silly is just talking to people in public, you, you know, you all of a sudden find you're able to do it and you find your power and your confidence. And especially when you're really in you're where you need to be you know where you're supposed to be, it comes through so much more, because you're like, This is me, this is truly me, I don't have to fake it. I don't have to pretend I'm just me, I'm being completely authentic in every way. And when I make a mistake, I can say I made a mistake. And that's okay, because people understand I'm human. And when I do it, well, I can accept the praise for it. Because I also know I did it well. And I put a lot of effort into it. And it's just really it's like freedom freedom in yourself instead of feeling trapped and scared. And like, you don't feel like a fake or anything, you just completely what's internal and externals, all congruent with one another. And you people you hang out with him where you spend your time, and it's all congruent. And there's so much power in that.

And that's truly the power that you have when you begin to live your life for yourself. And sometimes people might think that, that sounds like a selfish thing. However, what I've come to realize, you know, so thus far in my journey, is that when you come to live for yourself, and truly for like your desires and your wants, that is the most selfless thing that you can do. Because you are, you're going to now influence the people that you are supposed to influence. And you're also showing other people that they can do it 200% And

you hear that a lot in like parent circles, the one thing a lot of shaming. Oh, you're doing you you're doing you that's so you should be 100% dedicated to your kids right now should be 100% like home, and whatever, whatever that looks like to that person cooking or you know laundry all day, or just waiting for them to sneeze? I have no idea what that even means. But I've been told before Oh, well, you know, I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm, you know, and me. And I'm here for my kids, as if I'm not, you know, and that is going to look different for everybody. If everybody was meant to be a stay at home mom or everyone's meant to be a working mom, or if everyone's meant to be a journalist, it'd be pretty boring world. And why would we be created for our own purposes? It doesn't make any sense. So I think all the shaming has got to go. And being a mom, you're in living your full purpose and really living for who you're crazy to be. Isn't that what we all want for our kids? And so I think that's the best thing you can do to be the best mom whether that be you are a you know, a financial advisor on Wall Street, or you're a scuba diver who spend six months out like exploring marine life, whatever that is, Are you fulfilling your purpose and showing that to your kids so that they can be who they were created to be because they're also not meant to be your clone. And I think that's so important. It's the best lesson I can give my kids

Hmm. And I know, I know that facing this obstacle of living life for yourself has completely transformed your life and impacted where you are today. Can you share with us a little bit more about where you are Kind of currently and, and what motivates you now and what's going on in Jennifer's world today?

Sure. So I am, you know, I work with a lot of people every year, I love doing it, I love helping people accomplish their dreams. And so moving forward, I want to have an even greater impact. So what's going on in my life is I'm working with friends right now, and who have really big stories, and big transformational journeys. And we're joining together to start a podcast. So I'm super excited about that. Because our messages while we come from very different places, they have very similar messages at the bottom of it. And I think that, we're going to be able to have a great impact on helping people really live to their best of their ability and live their best life. So podcast is coming out because it the book literally just launched in paperback two weeks ago. So that's still brand new, hoping to get that into Barnes and Noble this year, as well as it's already on Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a lot of things going on that and then of course, just growing my impact. Right now I have a pretty good local presence and really expanding that, you know, I don't want to just work with couples here in my little town in Massachusetts, but really having more of a national impact and being able to work with people in different states and from different walks of life. Because I, you know, I already have clients in about 30 Something states but really expanding that impact and expanding that reach even more and expanding the message of not just talking about money in terms of how do you make it here that a lot? Oh, you're gonna make money, I'm gonna invest in this and invest in that I'm gonna buy cryptocurrency, I'm gonna start a new business, but you don't have a lot of people talking about? Why had you come to this place of really digging deep into your money values and your money path and your money history and your money future? And how do you integrate that so that all of the things mesh together? And looking at, you know, the, the end game, the estate game? How do you pass on your values? How do you leave a legacy? What's the best way to do it and looking at it from all angles. So that's something I'm looking to really have a further reach on as I move forward. So yeah, so a lot of different balls in the air.

What a powerful next step. And that just completely goes along with, you know, continuing to step into the full version of yourself. So you're continuing to step into your purpose and your power through these next steps in your journey, and you truly are, you know, stepping into the version of yourself, that you were created to be and it is beautiful to watch. It's beautiful to watch as you claim that power. And, you know, the book is so exciting was that was that hard for you? To put yourself out there in that way, releasing your first book?

It was a little bit I think the people closest to us can sometimes be our harshest critics. And so of course, just you know, taking in like, Okay, who are you like, what do you think you're doing, like, you know, those types of things and our own self doubts and that imposter syndrome was a bit challenging. But I just knew, I was like, I was something I always wanted to do. I was wondering to book and I tend to be wired in such a way that I say, Okay, I'm going to do this, and I do it. You know, if I say I'm writing a book, I'm writing a book, like, I'm not just talking to you, there's no, I'm not just talking, it's happening. And so I said, I was doing it. And I always tell people what I'm planning on, I tell somebody, so that I'm held myself accountable. And I know once I've told somebody, I don't want to back out on that. So it was fun. It was tough. I have a lot of personal stories in there. That was definitely tough coming full circle and you know, kind of having that vulnerability. But ultimately, I know that that vulnerability is what resonates with people because everybody goes through stuff and everybody screws up in their life. Everybody makes a mistake, when everybody has a story to tell. And I think even though my story is not this big, like huge event, it's it's still a story and it still does have pieces that resonate with people so and I felt like it was important to tell some of that story in the book. So I did and that was also you know, becoming Being vulnerable to a large audience is definitely something that is not always easy. Well,

and you know, Jennifer, we don't have to have this crazy story, right. And that's why I love that you share it, because you know it, there's a lot of little stuff that happens throughout life. There's all kinds of things that everyone faces, everyone, it doesn't have to be some big massive event. But we all you know, go through things, and we all face obstacles, and we need, you know, more people just sharing that journey. Because too often people all people see is, you know, the pretty curated picture, right, or the extreme, or the extreme stories. And so I just, I commend you. And I just love that you are stepping into, you know, the true embodiment of who you were created to be, and putting yourself out there so that you can influence and change the lives of the people that you are supposed to. I'm so excited to hear more about your podcast. You guys once she does launch the podcasts, I'll put the link in the description. But before that, it won't be there because it's not launched yet. Um, where else can people find you to connect with you so they can continue to watch you flourish on this journey?

Sure, I am a vailable on Instagram. And I'm trying to handle it's Jennifer Avi underscore. So I have an Instagram account there. I can be also found on Facebook, which is at Jennifer WVA. Up.

Beautiful you guys. And as always, I will put Jennifer's links in the description down below so you can connect with her further, make sure that you go and check out her book, it is available on Amazon now, right?

It's on Amazon in paperback and Kindle version.

Beautiful. I will also be throwing the link in the description for that. But Jennifer, thank you so much for spending the time to share a little bit about your story. I've really enjoyed listening to it. Because you know, it can be hard, especially as women to understand our true power and to find our voice and to step into our confidence. And I love the approach that you have, because it's something that I think that a lot of people can resonate with, because it's very actionable. So thank you so much for coming on and sharing your insight and your light with us today.

You're welcome. Thank you for the time, I hope that you know people really can resonate and of course anybody wants to reach out with questions or chat and always love to hear other people's stories as well because there's always no matter what place you're in, you know, if you've just gone through something horrible or you just feel like you know, everybody has a power and it's just a matter of finding it. There's always beauty in all the ash around us. So it's just finding it and raising it up

thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming the big me podcast. I know that you found value in hearing this story today. And I would love if you could show your support by going and grabbing a copy of our book. And you can do so by going to bit.li/great conquest. You can also go to www dot the great conquest.com For more information about each of the individuals involved in this process. Thanks again for tuning in.