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Laugh Lines and DNA Ties: Laura High's Donor-Conceived Story Part 1
Episode 7328th November 2023 • Family Twist • Corey and Kendall Stulce
00:00:00 00:29:14

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We're joined by the incredibly talented Laura High, a stand-up comedian with a unique and compelling story. Laura, a donor-conceived individual, brings a blend of humor and advocacy to the often opaque world of fertility. Her insights and experiences are not only eye-opening but delivered with a wit that makes the complexities of donor conception both understandable and engaging. We also discuss one of our recent guests, Dylan Stone-Miller, another advocate for regulation in the fertility industry. Dylan was a donor in college and knows of 97 bio children currently. Hear his story here!

Laugh Lines and DNA Ties: Laura High's Donor-Conceived Story Part 1

Episode Highlights:

  1. Laura’s discovery of her comedic talent, influenced by Gilda Radner and other comedy legends.
  2. Her journey as a donor-conceived individual, advocating for rights and transparency in the fertility industry.
  3. The humorous yet impactful ways Laura uses her comedic skills in advocacy, including her famous sperm costume.
  4. The significant role of storytelling from various perspectives in donor conception, highlighting the importance of including donors, recipient parents, and donor-conceived individuals.
  5. Laura’s personal experiences with the fertility industry, including the revelation of her genetic background and medical history.
  6. The ethical concerns and loopholes within the fertility industry, and the need for more stringent regulations and transparency.

Guest Bio:

Laura High is a New York actor and comedian. She received her B.A. in Theatre Performance from Nazareth College. Laura has had lead roles on TV shows, and national commercials. Laura performs stand-up comedy at venues like Broadway Comedy Club, Bananas, and headlined Carolines on Broadway. Laura has been featured on the New York Comedy Festival and won the 'Broadly Funny' Divison at the 360 Stand Up Festival. Laura is a rising content creator. Laura has gone viral several times on TikTok and her following has grown exponentially in a short amount of time. Laura writes, produces, and edits all of her own work. 

Guest Links:

Website

Instagram

Resource Mentioned:

Laura's episode is a blend of laughter and learning, providing a unique perspective on donor conception. Her advocacy work, combined with her comedic approach, makes for an enlightening and engaging conversation. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, remember to rate, follow and review Family Twist for more insightful stories like Laura's.

Join the Family Twist family here!

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Transcripts

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And as much as we want to pretend it

didn't happen and bury it, you can't

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unring the bell.

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You can't unring donor conception.

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You can't pretend it didn't happen.

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It did.

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It literally created your child.

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Hello and a heartfelt welcome to all our

listeners as we embark on season four of

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the Family Twist podcast.

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I'm Kendall Austin Stulst and my life

story is a tapestry of unexpected turns

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from being adopted as an infant to losing

my adoptive parents by the time I was 17.

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And then in a twist of fate, finding my

birth family through the magic of DNA

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testing in 2017.

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And I'm Corey Stulst, Kendall's partner on

this life adventure.

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When we uncovered his paternal birth

family's roots on the East Coast, I knew

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our next chapter was calling us there to

mend the missing pieces of Kendall's heart

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with the love of newfound relatives.

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Our podcast began as a single thread, a

narrative of my own, but it is woven into

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a vibrant quilt of stories celebrating the

complexities of DNA surprises, adoption,

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donor conception, NPEs, surrogacy, and the

myriad ways families come together.

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Together, we've been welcomed into an

incredible community with each guest

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sharing their own family twist.

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And through it all, we found strength in

each other.

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Thank you for letting us share our passion

and these remarkable stories with you.

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The bonds we formed with you, our

listeners, and the stories you share have

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only deepened our commitment to this

journey.

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Family Twist isn't just a podcast.

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It's a celebration of the unexpected ties

that bind us all.

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Thank you for joining us on this fantastic

ride.

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Today's episode takes us into the life of

Laura High, a standup comedian with a

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twist.

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She's donor conceived.

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Laura's journey gives us an inside look at

the complexities and emotional layers

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within the donor conception community.

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Her story is not just personal, it also

highlights the broader issues in the

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fertility industry, including the need for

better regulation and transparency.

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In this episode, we delve into Laura's

unique approach to advocacy through

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comedy.

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It's a powerful blend of humor and hard

-hitting truths that challenges our

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understanding of the fertility industry.

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The gaps and inconsistencies in donor

conception practices, as Laura reveals

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them, are both enlightening and alarming.

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Let's listen to what Laura has to share

about navigating her identity and

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advocating for change.

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We're diving into a conversation that's

not only about comedy, but about personal

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discovery, influence, and the power of

laughter in the face of adversity.

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Laura's connection with icons like...

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Gilda Radner and her perspective on comedy

as a tool for advocacy are something we

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can't wait to explore.

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Well, we're super jazzed because today

this is the first time we've had a standup

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comedian on the podcast.

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Laura, hi, welcome to the show.

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Hi, thank you so much for having me.

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We're thrilled because comedy is one of my

passions and I'm looking at your lovely

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gallery behind you and I see the Steve

Martin and drag and Gilda and.

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It's just.

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Yes.

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Gilda was my first favorite.

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So my mom's an event coordinator and she

helped plan the opening for like the first

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Gilda's house in Westchester.

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And it was like this huge event.

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And so I was still at like, I think I was

like still like eight or nine.

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So I was still coming with her everywhere.

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And the Gilda's house had this like kind

of like playroom for kids.

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And they just had like the best of Gilda

Radner playing all the time.

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So she sat me in there to like get my

homework done while she did her meeting.

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And.

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It was like two hours later and I was an

eight year old suddenly doing perfect

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Roseanne Rosanna Dana impression.

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And I became obsessed with Gilda Radner.

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I was like, who the heck, oh, am I allowed

to curse on here?

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Oh yeah, sure.

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I was like, who the fuck is this person

and why has she been kept from me my whole

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life?

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Your long life at that point.

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Yeah, I just became this weirdo kid

obsessed with Gilda Radner.

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But yeah, my husband and I, we collect old

like comedy LPs.

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So we've got, yeah, we've got like a bunch

of the old ones around here.

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We've got, you know, Carlin and

everything.

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But I had just literally yesterday had my

very first show at Comedy Cellar.

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Oh, very cool.

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Congratulations.

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I mean, that's, that is a big

accomplishment, I think.

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Yes, absolutely.

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Yeah.

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Even though like I've headlined like

across the United States, I think that was

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the first time where I was like, I feel

like a comedian for the very first time.

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Yeah, right.

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I officially feel like one.

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Kudos, kudos, because I mean, it is a

tough, tough gig.

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I do it from the sidelines.

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I don't perform, so I just love talking to

comedians.

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My first two books have been about comedy

with comedians, and it's yeah, it's just

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it's a it's a tough, tough gig.

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So kudos to you for doing it.

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It's a tough gig at times, but when it's

good, there's nothing like it.

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Yeah.

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When it's good, it's great.

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Like you just can't beat it.

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So fun.

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You mentioned Carlin.

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I was actually able to interview him in

the back of a limo.

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Oh, wow.

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And that was like, you know, I can control

myself when I'm around famous people, you

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know, but that was tough because it was

just like, oh my God, that's Carlin.

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That's the king sitting right there.

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Two feet from me.

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I don't want to give away names, but last

night, you know, I'm meeting everybody and

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there were like two A -listers that they

were just like, oh, hey, my name is, and

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I'm just like, my name is, yeah.

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As if you needed to be introduced.

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And I'm just like trying really hard to

keep it cool.

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I'm like, hi, my name is Laura.

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And I'm like, but I also like, I'm like,

big fan.

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Trying to like play it off really cool and

like play it, just be like, so.

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major influence on the comedy movement.

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Like, oh my God, okay, everything's fine.

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We're just gonna be cool about it.

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Let's not let everybody know what a giant

dork you are, Laura.

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Well, I know you were at a protest

recently.

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Can you talk just a little bit about your

approach to going to these type of

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protests before we even tell people what

the protest was about?

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Sure.

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I mean, I'm obviously, you know, I'm very

heavily influenced by comedy.

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And by Carlin, Robin Williams was kind of

the first standup comic who I just was

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like, oh my, Robin Williams Live at the

Met was the first special I ever watched.

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And I love, love The Daily Show, loved

Colbert Report last week tonight.

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Anytime a comedian has ever used their

comedy to shed light in dark situations,

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I've always considered that to just be

pure magic.

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Using comedy to explain,

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hard complex situations in a way that like

it's so much easier to digest.

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It's so much more consumable.

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And it also just it kind of hits you

emotionally in different places.

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And I always found that form of education

and advocacy to be just incredible to me.

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And it was always very highly influential.

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And so for me, that's just how I would say

I was really it really like sort of like

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put me on a trajectory was watching.

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Yeah.

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these comedians.

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And so for me, that has really heavily

influenced a lot of what I do right now

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and what I do online and what I continue

to do, especially for the protest that I

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organized.

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And it was the first protest of its kind.

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And of course, I wanted to put my own like

little I had to sort of do a tongue in

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cheek comedic nod.

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Can I say like what the protest was for?

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Yeah, sure.

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Absolutely.

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So this was the very first protest for

donor conceived rights.

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And I showed up with a custom -made

costume of me in a sperm cup.

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As you should.

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And I had a sperm fascinator on as well.

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And I've been known to run around in a

sperm costume interviewing people.

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When I was helping the fertility fraud

advocates, when they were first presenting

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the federal fertility fraud legislation, I

was there to support, help lobby, and to

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really try and gain traction for it.

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I put on my sperm costume in the Raymore

building, which is where all the

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congressmen have all their offices and

stuff.

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And so I'm interviewing all of these

fertility fraud advocates in the sperm

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costume in the Raymore building.

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And I'm, of course, also filming B -rolls.

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So I'm filming of me doing parkour in the

sperm costume in the Raymore building.

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And of course, all the congressmen's aides

are watching me like, what the fuck?

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And the amount I would pay if the security

team from the Raymore building hears this.

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I will pay you in a godly amount of money

for that security footage.

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I want that so much to just see that.

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So that's, yes.

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So I would say my comedy has definitely

influenced my advocacy as a donor

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conceived person, someone conceived with

sperm donation, as I try and shed light on

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the fertility industry and how absolutely

unregulated and how unethical it is.

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I have found that people are more apt to

listen to you if you make them laugh.

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Sure, absolutely.

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And you know, this is an issue that

Kendall and I did not know much about

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before we started doing this podcast.

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And we are hardcore allies now because

it's like, you know, yes.

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Oh, absolutely.

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It's the it's like, it's unbelievable,

really.

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And, you know, we've had some wonderful

guests and just the stories that they

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told.

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Well, I know that Dylan was at your

protest.

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I adore Dylan.

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What a good guy he is.

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Oh my gosh.

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Dylan's the best.

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I'm so grateful that we have him as an

ally and he has become such a staple in

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the community.

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I'm just, I'm so grateful that we have his

voice because the fact that it's not just

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donor conceived people, we also have

donors and recipient parents who are like

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so ingrained in the advocacy as well is

like, we need that.

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Because as much as I firmly believe that

this advocacy needs to be donor conceived

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led, we cannot get the work done without

donors and recipient parents.

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We need their stories, their advocacy and

their support as well because the

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fertility industry harms all of us.

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It harms our three parties.

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And the way that we collect evidence in

order to support the regulations, we need

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the stories from all of our perspectives

because what Dylan was told, what his

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recipient parents were told, what those

donor conceived children are gonna deal

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with, all three of their perspectives are

so needed to be able to make.

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real advocacy and to really be able to

understand what everybody was told in a

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very, I would say succinct way instead of

this like game of telephone where it's

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just like donor can see people like we're

comparing DNA records trying to go like

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what happened?

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Who was told what, what were your parents

told?

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What was the, it needs to be everybody.

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And so the fact that we've got Dylan is

fabulous.

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Yes.

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And you mentioned the parents, we had a

guest on just a couple of weeks ago and

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She's definitely an ally, but at the time

she was so desperate to have a child that

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she was like, you know, just everything

like glossed over.

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Like didn't ask the questions and stuff

because it's like, okay, so I get to have

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a baby.

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Great.

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Let's do it.

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I really feel for parents like that.

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I get a lot of parents who I would say are

very deep within that like kind of

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infertility trauma or very deep in that

desperation.

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I really feel for them.

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I really, really do.

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And I get it and I understand.

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And I talk to them a lot because like

years later, months later, they are in my

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DMs and they're going like, I feel so

guilty.

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What have I done?

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Oh my God, I've hurt my child.

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What can I do?

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And I always tell them, I'm like, you

know, one, it's gonna be okay.

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It's going to be okay.

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You're here now, shit happens.

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And I always, always tell them, I'm like,

you have to remember that the fertility

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industry has their script down packed.

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They know exactly what to say.

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They've been lying for decades.

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They know exactly how to manipulate your

trauma and your desperation.

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I get it.

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They failed you by not educating you.

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And yes, it would have been great if like

you had received maybe like some emotional

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support before the process that would have

like helped you find that education

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beforehand.

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Absolutely.

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But everyone makes mistakes.

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But what matters to me personally more is.

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what do you do when you're faced with that

mistake?

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That is where your character really

shines.

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And the fact that you're coming to me, the

fact that you're asking me for advice and

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help says everything to me that I need to

know.

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That this is like you are willing to

reroute and change and stand up.

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That to me is like a 10 out of 10.

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And I will do whatever I can to help those

recipient parents out so that they can

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move forward feeling confident.

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and have the tools that they need to

support their donor conceived child and

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support themselves.

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Do you know what your mother was told?

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You know what stories lies education she

was or wasn't given.

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I love telling this story so much.

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Okay.

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Anyone who's been listening to me for a

long time knows this story very well.

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It's literally like my favorite thing to

tell.

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So I was made, I was not conceived.

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I was made like a Toyota in 1987 in New

York city.

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So my parents were actively going through

fertility treatments for three years.

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And both of my parents had fertility

issues.

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My moms could be fixed, my dads couldn't.

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And it was, there was nothing, there was

no resources.

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There was literally, there was nothing.

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There was not a single shred.

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My mom, even when I talked to her, she's

like, we didn't even think about like

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health history.

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Like that just wasn't even something in

the eighties we even considered was like

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genetics.

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She was like,

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And now she feels like really embarrassed,

but she was like, that just was not spoken

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of, at least for, I would say the general

public.

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But she was just like, it just wasn't.

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And they started seeing this doctor and

they were his first patients.

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Wow.

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And just opened up this clinic.

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So they were also the first patients at

this clinic.

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So I was the very first creation of this

clinic, of this doctor.

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And they basically, they started pumping

my mom filled with fertility drugs.

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She had three surgeries.

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And finally she had the full

reconstruction.

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She had that finally did the trick.

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But they had done lots of sperm donations

up until that point.

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Like they had tried many, like when I

asked her, I was like, how many times did

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you all try donor conception?

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And she was like, I don't know, somewhere

in the double digits.

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And it just, nothing worked.

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And then they did.

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the reconstruction.

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Now at this point, my mom had been on

hormone therapy for three years, just had

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reconstruction.

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I could not even begin to imagine the pain

this woman was in because like a lot of

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the drugs were so experimental.

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Like it was rough and I just, you know,

totally understand.

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One of the things though that the clinic

told my parents though, and this was not

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why they picked the clinic or anything.

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This just seemed very normal at the time

was my parents were not allowed to pick

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their donor.

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That was normal.

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Like I don't have a medical history.

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I don't have a donor profile.

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I don't have a donor number.

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No one had that when I was born.

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Like no one did.

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Very, very rare.

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And so the clinic said that we match the

donors up with the dads as best as

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possible.

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Again, very standard between hair color,

eye color, ethnicity.

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But the clinic said that the number one

thing that we match before anything else

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is religion.

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Oh, what?

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Well.

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I know.

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I know because religion really matters to

the guys jacking off in cups for cash.

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And there's such a difference between that

Lutheran and that Protestant or Catholic

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sperm, like really matters.

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Exactly, yeah.

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Especially that guilty Catholic sperm.

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I mean, that Catholic sperm is really good

on its knees, but you know.

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Oh.

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I mean, that's the first time we've heard

anything like that before.

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That's wild.

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The eighties, man, with the wild time.

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Right, yeah.

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So that was always what they were told.

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And they were told like, it's an Ivy

League doctor, everything's fine, it'll

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match my dad.

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Now my dad, Irish, Scottish, and Catholic.

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Okay, so that was always like Irish,

Scottish, Catholic.

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Got it, okay, cool.

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So my mom is now right after her

reconstruction and she's about to ovulate.

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on a holiday weekend, specifically she's

about, and this is important to know,

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she's about to ovulate on the Jewish New

Year.

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So the clinic was closed.

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And he was like, sorry, we'll just wait

for the next ovulation.

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And my mom's again in so much pain.

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She's like, is there any way we can open

the clinic back up?

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Is there something that we can do?

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And the doctor in his infinite wisdom, in

all of the ideas he could have come up

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with, came up with this idea.

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He said, don't worry about it.

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I'll get the sperm to be dropped off at a

hotel concierge.

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You go pick it up and inseminate it with

your husband.

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This is insanity.

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Insanity.

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It's insane because this was fresh sperm.

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This wasn't frozen.

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This was fresh.

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I'm picturing, I don't know if you saw

that movie, I think it's Forget Paris with

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Billy Crystal where he's running around

with the sperm trying to get to, yeah.

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Oh my God.

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I'll have to check it out.

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I actually don't know it.

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Yeah.

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But my mom went to this hotel building and

waited, picked up,

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the sperm and she's like, it was like this

little tube and she put it like in between

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like her pants and her skin, cause it has

to be kept warm.

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Warm, yeah.

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It has to be at a certain temperature.

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So she kept it warm and then she tries so

hard to make it nice for me and she's

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like, and I whisked off to your father's

office and that's where you were made.

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And I'm like, wait, wait the fuck second.

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The clinic was closed cause it was a

holiday weekend, but dad couldn't take a

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fucking day off.

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Dad could.

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Jewish holiday and your father's too.

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But still, come on.

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Well, and it was just like, really?

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We couldn't have waited to get home to do

this.

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No, I had to be like, you know, mom put

her legs up on dad's desk.

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Like it was just like, I just, I sort of

like imagine my mom's like, you know, legs

370

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up and he's like, you know, all right,

honey, like I have to finish this

371

::

spreadsheet.

372

::

Just go do your thing.

373

::

He didn't have one of those offices where

it was like all glass windows or anything.

374

::

You mean the walls and interior walls?

375

::

I mean, my dad was in advertising, so he

always talks about like, you know, he had

376

::

a bar in his office and everything.

377

::

So it was like, you know, the amount of

sperm that I'm sure was all over that

378

::

freaking office building.

379

::

So it really wasn't changing that much.

380

::

It was just a different reciprocal.

381

::

But yes, and that was how I was conceived.

382

::

So in terms of like going back to your

initial question of what was my mom told?

383

::

So the big thing was the sperm donor that

was supposed to be used was supposed to

384

::

match my dad.

385

::

And the clinic saying the most important

thing was religion.

386

::

My dad is Scottish and Irish and Catholic.

387

::

We took a DNA test when I was 25, 26.

388

::

My donor is 100 % Ashkenazi Jewish.

389

::

I am 50 % Ashkenazi Jewish.

390

::

My mom, she took a DNA test along with me,

does not have like even 1 % of Ashkenazi.

391

::

So it's all from my donor.

392

::

So that was one, that was completely

different ancestry, heritage than my

393

::

father.

394

::

Also they were like, oh no, no, perfectly

healthy, everything like that.

395

::

No, I absolutely have had medical

problems.

396

::

The donor conceived siblings I have found

so far have had medical problems as well.

397

::

It all seems to be on the donor side.

398

::

So there's just been lies after lies after

lies being told.

399

::

And I even called the doctor when I was

19, because I just was curious and I

400

::

wanted to understand what my medical

history was.

401

::

And I wanted to see if there was a chance

he would give me his number.

402

::

And I called him and I was like, you know,

can you give me any kind of information?

403

::

And he was like, well, you're

404

::

donor came from a bank that was filled

with like residents and doctors that has

405

::

now since burnt to the ground.

406

::

So even if I could give you the name,

which I couldn't, it's all ashes anyway,

407

::

but I can guarantee you perfectly healthy,

nothing to worry about.

408

::

Hmm.

409

::

Well, what's up with these places burning

to the ground?

410

::

It seems like that's a pretty common thing

we're hearing about.

411

::

Yes, no, it's actually it's very common

with both donor conceived people and

412

::

adoptees like adoption agencies and banks

and clinics just apparently burned to the

413

::

ground.

414

::

Like there is an arsonist going around,

taking down all of our medical history.

415

::

I don't know what vendetta this guy has,

but he needs to be stopped.

416

::

But yeah, no, you ask 10 donor conceived

people what happened to your paperwork.

417

::

Five of them are going to tell you gone in

a fire or flood.

418

::

Flood is another big one we get.

419

::

Yeah.

420

::

I forget who I talked to, but there was a

donor conceived person.

421

::

I think like they were in like Michigan or

something.

422

::

And they were like, yeah, apparently it

was taken out in a flood.

423

::

And I'm like, by where?

424

::

Yeah, exactly.

425

::

Right.

426

::

What?

427

::

And she was like, yeah, apparently it was

a flood.

428

::

I'm like, how, you need to explain what

flood this is.

429

::

The great Michigan flood, I don't

understand.

430

::

Yes, yes.

431

::

Missed the history books.

432

::

I'm thinking Locusts are going to be

number three.

433

::

Oh, no.

434

::

We haven't heard Locust yet, but I would

not be surprised if Locust is now going to

435

::

be one that we get.

436

::

I think there's been like fires in

Australia as well.

437

::

Like bushfires and stuff has been has

taken it out.

438

::

A big one for our community was Katrina.

439

::

When Katrina hit that apparently took out

all medical records for like, you know,

440

::

clinics that were located in California.

441

::

Apparently, they kept all their records in

New Orleans.

442

::

So, yeah, they used Katrina, the major

natural disaster that

443

::

caused so much death and destroyed homes,

the fertility industry was like, ha ha, an

444

::

opportunity.

445

::

Wow.

446

::

Yikes.

447

::

It's atrocious.

448

::

So have you gotten any inklings or any

other clues as to who the donor is?

449

::

Like, has he popped up on VMA?

450

::

Oh, I totally know who he is.

451

::

Oh, OK.

452

::

I was connected to his first cousin on

Ancestry.

453

::

So and between her and I, we figured out

who it is.

454

::

And so I know him, I've seen his photo.

455

::

I totally Facebook stalked him.

456

::

And yeah, no, he, and he were completely

has refused contact.

457

::

I've sent him a letter and an email,

nothing.

458

::

One of my donor conceived siblings has

also emailed him, nothing.

459

::

I also recently got connected to his

brother, sent his brother an email,

460

::

nothing.

461

::

His brother was on a different DNA site.

462

::

So I sent him a letter, an email through

there and just nothing.

463

::

Wow.

464

::

Hmm.

465

::

Mm -mm -mm.

466

::

What do you know about him?

467

::

So I do know who the dude is.

468

::

My donor is a OBGYN Rabbi Moyle.

469

::

Hmm.

470

::

Wow.

471

::

All right.

472

::

There you go.

473

::

Yeah, so definitely does not exactly.

474

::

I mean, you know, both my dad and my donor

have brown hair.

475

::

Like, that's the commonality.

476

::

They got brown hair.

477

::

How many siblings have you connected with?

478

::

So far I officially, like, so my donor has

two raised children and then so far I'm

479

::

one of five donor conceived siblings, but

we know that there's no way there's just

480

::

five of us.

481

::

He donated for at least six years.

482

::

Oh, wow.

483

::

We know at least minimum, we know he

started in:

484

::

I'm so far the youngest, we have no idea

when he stopped.

485

::

And he was a medical student and then an

OB -GYN, so we know there's not just six

486

::

of us.

487

::

So we're just kind of waiting.

488

::

But it's very common, so I've not spoken

to all of my siblings, because some of

489

::

them just don't want contact, which I

totally understand.

490

::

But what's happened is, it's very common

for people who were born in my generation

491

::

and older to have never been told that

they were donor conceived.

492

::

Like so far out of my pod, I'm the only

one who was told.

493

::

And that creates a lot of problems,

because you have a lot of people just

494

::

taking 23andMe Ancestry for fun, and then

find out, oopsie, I'm donor conceived.

495

::

And it's very traumatic.

496

::

and they're just like, I don't know what

to fucking do.

497

::

And it can be overwhelming.

498

::

And a lot of people tend to just go like,

I don't wanna touch this.

499

::

So I'm giving those siblings of mine time,

but also the bulk of my siblings may have

500

::

most likely have no idea they're donor

conceived and may never know.

501

::

And so for them, they're like, why would I

take a DNA test?

502

::

Right, exactly.

503

::

Yeah.

504

::

I mean, you know, not everybody's doing

it, but more and more people are doing it

505

::

every day.

506

::

So.

507

::

Yeah, I mean, those numbers are definitely

going to grow.

508

::

How did your parents tell you?

509

::

So I was 14 and my parents for the age

bracket that I'm in, they were very, very

510

::

progressive.

511

::

So my parents knew they were always going

to tell me, which is so rare for my age.

512

::

And it's like such a gift.

513

::

They when I was born and they, you know,

we started seeing my pediatrician, my

514

::

pediatrician was like, I swear, fabulous.

515

::

And she was like,

516

::

You know, it was always a conversation

between my parents and her and my

517

::

pediatrician in the eighties.

518

::

This was her instinct.

519

::

And I'm like, I adore her.

520

::

She looked at my dad and was like, you

guys are going to tell her that she's

521

::

donor conceived and looked at my dad and

was like, and you're going to be the one

522

::

to tell her, because when you guys tell

her this, she's going to be insecure that

523

::

you don't love her.

524

::

She's going to be insecure.

525

::

You have to be the one to tell her because

that's going to make it OK, which I'm

526

::

like.

527

::

Girl, how did you pull that out of

nowhere?

528

::

Like there's no research.

529

::

How the heck did you just like pull that

out of the air and go like, this is the

530

::

right thing to do.

531

::

Like way to get her, Dr.

532

::

Mary, her name is Dr.

533

::

Mary.

534

::

If she is still in practice, like, oh my

God, best pediatrician I could have asked

535

::

for.

536

::

And like such an advocate for me.

537

::

So it was my dad who told me I was 14

years old and we were driving home and

538

::

telling me in the car is such a dad thing

to do.

539

::

And because like you don't have to look at

your kid.

540

::

Like we can like, you know, it's emotional

connection to an extent.

541

::

And so he's just looking forward.

542

::

He can control how long, how short the

conversation is if he wants to take the

543

::

long way or the short way, or if he wants

to speed really fast.

544

::

And he just kind of like looks forward and

he was like, Laura, do you know how babies

545

::

are made?

546

::

And I'm like, dad, I'm already, my comic

brain is starting to like click in at that

547

::

point.

548

::

And I just, I'm like, yeah, dad, I'm 14.

549

::

I've seen Skinimax.

550

::

And then of course he like popped right

back and he was like, okay, well, wasn't

551

::

how you were made.

552

::

And then kind of went into how, you know,

he was like, do you know what sperm

553

::

donation is?

554

::

And I'm like, yeah.

555

::

And he was like, okay, well, cause at that

point I knew my parents had issues

556

::

conceiving and he was like, so you know,

your mom and I had issues conceiving.

557

::

And I was like, yeah.

558

::

And he's like, so this is why.

559

::

So we used a sperm donor.

560

::

Are you understanding what I'm saying?

561

::

I'm like, yeah.

562

::

Okay.

563

::

And it was this moment of, the best way it

was like, I can always explain it was it

564

::

felt like I could see the matrix.

565

::

Everything made sense.

566

::

I was like, it gave me way too much

confidence because of how validating it

567

::

is, because I was just like, I fucking

knew something was up.

568

::

I was like, I was adopted, was I switched

at birth?

569

::

Why does something, I could smell

something was weird, but I looked just

570

::

like my mother.

571

::

I looked just like her.

572

::

So I was like, I had no idea.

573

::

And this just, I, it just was this like

boo moment where I, yeah, it was like kind

574

::

of like that Alfred Hitchcock Jaws moment

where you zoom in and you roll the camera

575

::

back at the same time.

576

::

It was like one of those.

577

::

And I just was like, ha.

578

::

So yeah, it was 14 and, and then I just, I

sat with it for a very long time.

579

::

I really just was like, all right, that's

cool.

580

::

I just kind of sat there for a very long

time.

581

::

Did your father have any of those feelings

about?

582

::

that he worried that you wouldn't feel

connected to him or something like, you

583

::

know, we hear these stories of people

whose parents feel that way.

584

::

I'm going to say he would say no.

585

::

He would say no, but I think if, you know,

maybe if I get a few drinks in him, then

586

::

maybe he'd be like, yeah, I was really

scared.

587

::

She wasn't going to love me or she was

going to look at me really different.

588

::

I was going to, yeah, I'm sure he would

say that, but I need to get him a lot of

589

::

gin, lot of gin first before, before he

would admit that.

590

::

We're pausing here, but Laura's story is

far from over.

591

::

In part two, we'll explore more of her

advocacy work and the impact of her

592

::

journey on her personal life.

593

::

Laura's experience underscores the

emotional complexities of being donor

594

::

-conceived and raises critical questions

about the ethics of the fertility

595

::

industry.

596

::

Laura's candid discussion about her

discovery, advocacy, and the humorous way

597

::

she brings light to these serious issues

is both inspiring and thought -provoking.

598

::

We thank Laura for her honesty and for

shedding light on the critical need for

599

::

legal reforms,

600

::

and ethical practices in the fertility

industry.

601

::

What an incredible first part of our

conversation with Laura High.

602

::

Her stories, her passion for comedy, and

her insights into using humor as a bridge

603

::

in difficult conversations are truly

remarkable.

604

::

It's not just about making people laugh.

605

::

It's about making them think and feel.

606

::

You can listen to part two with Laura

right now.

Links