We're joined by the incredibly talented Laura High, a stand-up comedian with a unique and compelling story. Laura, a donor-conceived individual, brings a blend of humor and advocacy to the often opaque world of fertility. Her insights and experiences are not only eye-opening but delivered with a wit that makes the complexities of donor conception both understandable and engaging. We also discuss one of our recent guests, Dylan Stone-Miller, another advocate for regulation in the fertility industry. Dylan was a donor in college and knows of 97 bio children currently. Hear his story here!

Laugh Lines and DNA Ties: Laura High's Donor-Conceived Story Part 1

Episode Highlights:

1. Laura’s discovery of her comedic talent, influenced by Gilda Radner and other comedy legends.
2. Her journey as a donor-conceived individual, advocating for rights and transparency in the fertility industry.
3. The humorous yet impactful ways Laura uses her comedic skills in advocacy, including her famous sperm costume.
4. The significant role of storytelling from various perspectives in donor conception, highlighting the importance of including donors, recipient parents, and donor-conceived individuals.
5. Laura’s personal experiences with the fertility industry, including the revelation of her genetic background and medical history.
6. The ethical concerns and loopholes within the fertility industry, and the need for more stringent regulations and transparency.

Guest Bio:

Laura High is a New York actor and comedian. She received her B.A. in Theatre Performance from Nazareth College. Laura has had lead roles on TV shows, and national commercials. Laura performs stand-up comedy at venues like Broadway Comedy Club, Bananas, and headlined Carolines on Broadway. Laura has been featured on the New York Comedy Festival and won the 'Broadly Funny' Divison at the 360 Stand Up Festival. Laura is a rising content creator. Laura has gone viral several times on TikTok and her following has grown exponentially in a short amount of time. Laura writes, produces, and edits all of her own work. 

Guest Links:

Website

Instagram

Resource Mentioned:

• Federal Fertility Fraud Legislation

Laura's episode is a blend of laughter and learning, providing a unique perspective on donor conception. Her advocacy work, combined with her comedic approach, makes for an enlightening and engaging conversation. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, remember to rate, follow and review Family Twist for more insightful stories like Laura's.

Join the Family Twist family here!

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1

And as much as we want to pretend it

didn't happen and bury it, you can't

2

unring the bell.

3

You can't unring donor conception.

4

You can't pretend it didn't happen.

5

It did.

6

It literally created your child.

7

Hello and a heartfelt welcome to all our

listeners as we embark on season four of

8

the Family Twist podcast.

9

I'm Kendall Austin Stulst and my life

story is a tapestry of unexpected turns

10

from being adopted as an infant to losing

my adoptive parents by the time I was 17.

11

And then in a twist of fate, finding my

birth family through the magic of DNA

12

testing in 2017.

13

And I'm Corey Stulst, Kendall's partner on

this life adventure.

14

When we uncovered his paternal birth

family's roots on the East Coast, I knew

15

our next chapter was calling us there to

mend the missing pieces of Kendall's heart

16

with the love of newfound relatives.

17

Our podcast began as a single thread, a

narrative of my own, but it is woven into

18

a vibrant quilt of stories celebrating the

complexities of DNA surprises, adoption,

19

donor conception, NPEs, surrogacy, and the

myriad ways families come together.

20

Together, we've been welcomed into an

incredible community with each guest

21

sharing their own family twist.

22

And through it all, we found strength in

each other.

23

Thank you for letting us share our passion

and these remarkable stories with you.

24

The bonds we formed with you, our

listeners, and the stories you share have

25

only deepened our commitment to this

journey.

26

Family Twist isn't just a podcast.

27

It's a celebration of the unexpected ties

that bind us all.

28

Thank you for joining us on this fantastic

ride.

29

Today's episode takes us into the life of

Laura High, a standup comedian with a

30

twist.

31

She's donor conceived.

32

Laura's journey gives us an inside look at

the complexities and emotional layers

33

within the donor conception community.

34

Her story is not just personal, it also

highlights the broader issues in the

35

fertility industry, including the need for

better regulation and transparency.

36

In this episode, we delve into Laura's

unique approach to advocacy through

37

comedy.

38

It's a powerful blend of humor and hard

-hitting truths that challenges our

39

understanding of the fertility industry.

40

The gaps and inconsistencies in donor

conception practices, as Laura reveals

41

them, are both enlightening and alarming.

42

Let's listen to what Laura has to share

about navigating her identity and

43

advocating for change.

44

We're diving into a conversation that's

not only about comedy, but about personal

45

discovery, influence, and the power of

laughter in the face of adversity.

46

Laura's connection with icons like...

47

Gilda Radner and her perspective on comedy

as a tool for advocacy are something we

48

can't wait to explore.

49

Well, we're super jazzed because today

this is the first time we've had a standup

50

comedian on the podcast.

51

Laura, hi, welcome to the show.

52

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

53

We're thrilled because comedy is one of my

passions and I'm looking at your lovely

54

gallery behind you and I see the Steve

Martin and drag and Gilda and.

55

It's just.

56

Yes.

57

Gilda was my first favorite.

58

So my mom's an event coordinator and she

helped plan the opening for like the first

59

Gilda's house in Westchester.

60

And it was like this huge event.

61

And so I was still at like, I think I was

like still like eight or nine.

62

So I was still coming with her everywhere.

63

And the Gilda's house had this like kind

of like playroom for kids.

64

And they just had like the best of Gilda

Radner playing all the time.

65

So she sat me in there to like get my

homework done while she did her meeting.

66

And.

67

It was like two hours later and I was an

eight year old suddenly doing perfect

68

Roseanne Rosanna Dana impression.

69

And I became obsessed with Gilda Radner.

70

I was like, who the heck, oh, am I allowed

to curse on here?

71

Oh yeah, sure.

72

I was like, who the fuck is this person

and why has she been kept from me my whole

73

life?

74

Your long life at that point.

75

Yeah, I just became this weirdo kid

obsessed with Gilda Radner.

76

But yeah, my husband and I, we collect old

like comedy LPs.

77

So we've got, yeah, we've got like a bunch

of the old ones around here.

78

We've got, you know, Carlin and

everything.

79

But I had just literally yesterday had my

very first show at Comedy Cellar.

80

Oh, very cool.

81

Congratulations.

82

I mean, that's, that is a big

accomplishment, I think.

83

Yes, absolutely.

84

Yeah.

85

Even though like I've headlined like

across the United States, I think that was

86

the first time where I was like, I feel

like a comedian for the very first time.

87

Yeah, right.

88

I officially feel like one.

89

Kudos, kudos, because I mean, it is a

tough, tough gig.

90

I do it from the sidelines.

91

I don't perform, so I just love talking to

comedians.

92

My first two books have been about comedy

with comedians, and it's yeah, it's just

93

it's a it's a tough, tough gig.

94

So kudos to you for doing it.

95

It's a tough gig at times, but when it's

good, there's nothing like it.

96

Yeah.

97

When it's good, it's great.

98

Like you just can't beat it.

99

So fun.

100

You mentioned Carlin.

101

I was actually able to interview him in

the back of a limo.

102

Oh, wow.

103

And that was like, you know, I can control

myself when I'm around famous people, you

104

know, but that was tough because it was

just like, oh my God, that's Carlin.

105

That's the king sitting right there.

106

Two feet from me.

107

I don't want to give away names, but last

night, you know, I'm meeting everybody and

108

there were like two A -listers that they

were just like, oh, hey, my name is, and

109

I'm just like, my name is, yeah.

110

As if you needed to be introduced.

111

And I'm just like trying really hard to

keep it cool.

112

I'm like, hi, my name is Laura.

113

And I'm like, but I also like, I'm like,

big fan.

114

Trying to like play it off really cool and

like play it, just be like, so.

115

major influence on the comedy movement.

116

Like, oh my God, okay, everything's fine.

117

We're just gonna be cool about it.

118

Let's not let everybody know what a giant

dork you are, Laura.

119

Well, I know you were at a protest

recently.

120

Can you talk just a little bit about your

approach to going to these type of

121

protests before we even tell people what

the protest was about?

122

Sure.

123

I mean, I'm obviously, you know, I'm very

heavily influenced by comedy.

124

And by Carlin, Robin Williams was kind of

the first standup comic who I just was

125

like, oh my, Robin Williams Live at the

Met was the first special I ever watched.

126

And I love, love The Daily Show, loved

Colbert Report last week tonight.

127

Anytime a comedian has ever used their

comedy to shed light in dark situations,

128

I've always considered that to just be

pure magic.

129

Using comedy to explain,

130

hard complex situations in a way that like

it's so much easier to digest.

131

It's so much more consumable.

132

And it also just it kind of hits you

emotionally in different places.

133

And I always found that form of education

and advocacy to be just incredible to me.

134

And it was always very highly influential.

135

And so for me, that's just how I would say

I was really it really like sort of like

136

put me on a trajectory was watching.

137

Yeah.

138

these comedians.

139

And so for me, that has really heavily

influenced a lot of what I do right now

140

and what I do online and what I continue

to do, especially for the protest that I

141

organized.

142

And it was the first protest of its kind.

143

And of course, I wanted to put my own like

little I had to sort of do a tongue in

144

cheek comedic nod.

145

Can I say like what the protest was for?

146

Yeah, sure.

147

Absolutely.

148

So this was the very first protest for

donor conceived rights.

149

And I showed up with a custom -made

costume of me in a sperm cup.

150

As you should.

151

And I had a sperm fascinator on as well.

152

And I've been known to run around in a

sperm costume interviewing people.

153

When I was helping the fertility fraud

advocates, when they were first presenting

154

the federal fertility fraud legislation, I

was there to support, help lobby, and to

155

really try and gain traction for it.

156

I put on my sperm costume in the Raymore

building, which is where all the

157

congressmen have all their offices and

stuff.

158

And so I'm interviewing all of these

fertility fraud advocates in the sperm

159

costume in the Raymore building.

160

And I'm, of course, also filming B -rolls.

161

So I'm filming of me doing parkour in the

sperm costume in the Raymore building.

162

And of course, all the congressmen's aides

are watching me like, what the fuck?

163

And the amount I would pay if the security

team from the Raymore building hears this.

164

I will pay you in a godly amount of money

for that security footage.

165

I want that so much to just see that.

166

So that's, yes.

167

So I would say my comedy has definitely

influenced my advocacy as a donor

168

conceived person, someone conceived with

sperm donation, as I try and shed light on

169

the fertility industry and how absolutely

unregulated and how unethical it is.

170

I have found that people are more apt to

listen to you if you make them laugh.

171

Sure, absolutely.

172

And you know, this is an issue that

Kendall and I did not know much about

173

before we started doing this podcast.

174

And we are hardcore allies now because

it's like, you know, yes.

175

Oh, absolutely.

176

It's the it's like, it's unbelievable,

really.

177

And, you know, we've had some wonderful

guests and just the stories that they

178

told.

179

Well, I know that Dylan was at your

protest.

180

I adore Dylan.

181

What a good guy he is.

182

Oh my gosh.

183

Dylan's the best.

184

I'm so grateful that we have him as an

ally and he has become such a staple in

185

the community.

186

I'm just, I'm so grateful that we have his

voice because the fact that it's not just

187

donor conceived people, we also have

donors and recipient parents who are like

188

so ingrained in the advocacy as well is

like, we need that.

189

Because as much as I firmly believe that

this advocacy needs to be donor conceived

190

led, we cannot get the work done without

donors and recipient parents.

191

We need their stories, their advocacy and

their support as well because the

192

fertility industry harms all of us.

193

It harms our three parties.

194

And the way that we collect evidence in

order to support the regulations, we need

195

the stories from all of our perspectives

because what Dylan was told, what his

196

recipient parents were told, what those

donor conceived children are gonna deal

197

with, all three of their perspectives are

so needed to be able to make.

198

real advocacy and to really be able to

understand what everybody was told in a

199

very, I would say succinct way instead of

this like game of telephone where it's

200

just like donor can see people like we're

comparing DNA records trying to go like

201

what happened?

202

Who was told what, what were your parents

told?

203

What was the, it needs to be everybody.

204

And so the fact that we've got Dylan is

fabulous.

205

Yes.

206

And you mentioned the parents, we had a

guest on just a couple of weeks ago and

207

She's definitely an ally, but at the time

she was so desperate to have a child that

208

she was like, you know, just everything

like glossed over.

209

Like didn't ask the questions and stuff

because it's like, okay, so I get to have

210

a baby.

211

Great.

212

Let's do it.

213

I really feel for parents like that.

214

I get a lot of parents who I would say are

very deep within that like kind of

215

infertility trauma or very deep in that

desperation.

216

I really feel for them.

217

I really, really do.

218

And I get it and I understand.

219

And I talk to them a lot because like

years later, months later, they are in my

220

DMs and they're going like, I feel so

guilty.

221

What have I done?

222

Oh my God, I've hurt my child.

223

What can I do?

224

And I always tell them, I'm like, you

know, one, it's gonna be okay.

225

It's going to be okay.

226

You're here now, shit happens.

227

And I always, always tell them, I'm like,

you have to remember that the fertility

228

industry has their script down packed.

229

They know exactly what to say.

230

They've been lying for decades.

231

They know exactly how to manipulate your

trauma and your desperation.

232

I get it.

233

They failed you by not educating you.

234

And yes, it would have been great if like

you had received maybe like some emotional

235

support before the process that would have

like helped you find that education

236

beforehand.

237

Absolutely.

238

But everyone makes mistakes.

239

But what matters to me personally more is.

240

what do you do when you're faced with that

mistake?

241

That is where your character really

shines.

242

And the fact that you're coming to me, the

fact that you're asking me for advice and

243

help says everything to me that I need to

know.

244

That this is like you are willing to

reroute and change and stand up.

245

That to me is like a 10 out of 10.

246

And I will do whatever I can to help those

recipient parents out so that they can

247

move forward feeling confident.

248

and have the tools that they need to

support their donor conceived child and

249

support themselves.

250

Do you know what your mother was told?

251

You know what stories lies education she

was or wasn't given.

252

I love telling this story so much.

253

Okay.

254

Anyone who's been listening to me for a

long time knows this story very well.

255

It's literally like my favorite thing to

tell.

256

So I was made, I was not conceived.

257

I was made like a Toyota in 1987 in New

York city.

258

So my parents were actively going through

fertility treatments for three years.

259

And both of my parents had fertility

issues.

260

My moms could be fixed, my dads couldn't.

261

And it was, there was nothing, there was

no resources.

262

There was literally, there was nothing.

263

There was not a single shred.

264

My mom, even when I talked to her, she's

like, we didn't even think about like

265

health history.

266

Like that just wasn't even something in

the eighties we even considered was like

267

genetics.

268

She was like,

269

And now she feels like really embarrassed,

but she was like, that just was not spoken

270

of, at least for, I would say the general

public.

271

But she was just like, it just wasn't.

272

And they started seeing this doctor and

they were his first patients.

273

Wow.

274

And just opened up this clinic.

275

So they were also the first patients at

this clinic.

276

So I was the very first creation of this

clinic, of this doctor.

277

And they basically, they started pumping

my mom filled with fertility drugs.

278

She had three surgeries.

279

And finally she had the full

reconstruction.

280

She had that finally did the trick.

281

But they had done lots of sperm donations

up until that point.

282

Like they had tried many, like when I

asked her, I was like, how many times did

283

you all try donor conception?

284

And she was like, I don't know, somewhere

in the double digits.

285

And it just, nothing worked.

286

And then they did.

287

the reconstruction.

288

Now at this point, my mom had been on

hormone therapy for three years, just had

289

reconstruction.

290

I could not even begin to imagine the pain

this woman was in because like a lot of

291

the drugs were so experimental.

292

Like it was rough and I just, you know,

totally understand.

293

One of the things though that the clinic

told my parents though, and this was not

294

why they picked the clinic or anything.

295

This just seemed very normal at the time

was my parents were not allowed to pick

296

their donor.

297

That was normal.

298

Like I don't have a medical history.

299

I don't have a donor profile.

300

I don't have a donor number.

301

No one had that when I was born.

302

Like no one did.

303

Very, very rare.

304

And so the clinic said that we match the

donors up with the dads as best as

305

possible.

306

Again, very standard between hair color,

eye color, ethnicity.

307

But the clinic said that the number one

thing that we match before anything else

308

is religion.

309

Oh, what?

310

Well.

311

I know.

312

I know because religion really matters to

the guys jacking off in cups for cash.

313

And there's such a difference between that

Lutheran and that Protestant or Catholic

314

sperm, like really matters.

315

Exactly, yeah.

316

Especially that guilty Catholic sperm.

317

I mean, that Catholic sperm is really good

on its knees, but you know.

318

Oh.

319

I mean, that's the first time we've heard

anything like that before.

320

That's wild.

321

The eighties, man, with the wild time.

322

Right, yeah.

323

So that was always what they were told.

324

And they were told like, it's an Ivy

League doctor, everything's fine, it'll

325

match my dad.

326

Now my dad, Irish, Scottish, and Catholic.

327

Okay, so that was always like Irish,

Scottish, Catholic.

328

Got it, okay, cool.

329

So my mom is now right after her

reconstruction and she's about to ovulate.

330

on a holiday weekend, specifically she's

about, and this is important to know,

331

she's about to ovulate on the Jewish New

Year.

332

So the clinic was closed.

333

And he was like, sorry, we'll just wait

for the next ovulation.

334

And my mom's again in so much pain.

335

She's like, is there any way we can open

the clinic back up?

336

Is there something that we can do?

337

And the doctor in his infinite wisdom, in

all of the ideas he could have come up

338

with, came up with this idea.

339

He said, don't worry about it.

340

I'll get the sperm to be dropped off at a

hotel concierge.

341

You go pick it up and inseminate it with

your husband.

342

This is insanity.

343

Insanity.

344

It's insane because this was fresh sperm.

345

This wasn't frozen.

346

This was fresh.

347

I'm picturing, I don't know if you saw

that movie, I think it's Forget Paris with

348

Billy Crystal where he's running around

with the sperm trying to get to, yeah.

349

Oh my God.

350

I'll have to check it out.

351

I actually don't know it.

352

Yeah.

353

But my mom went to this hotel building and

waited, picked up,

354

the sperm and she's like, it was like this

little tube and she put it like in between

355

like her pants and her skin, cause it has

to be kept warm.

356

Warm, yeah.

357

It has to be at a certain temperature.

358

So she kept it warm and then she tries so

hard to make it nice for me and she's

359

like, and I whisked off to your father's

office and that's where you were made.

360

And I'm like, wait, wait the fuck second.

361

The clinic was closed cause it was a

holiday weekend, but dad couldn't take a

362

fucking day off.

363

Dad could.

364

Jewish holiday and your father's too.

365

But still, come on.

366

Well, and it was just like, really?

367

We couldn't have waited to get home to do

this.

368

No, I had to be like, you know, mom put

her legs up on dad's desk.

369

Like it was just like, I just, I sort of

like imagine my mom's like, you know, legs

370

up and he's like, you know, all right,

honey, like I have to finish this

371

spreadsheet.

372

Just go do your thing.

373

He didn't have one of those offices where

it was like all glass windows or anything.

374

You mean the walls and interior walls?

375

I mean, my dad was in advertising, so he

always talks about like, you know, he had

376

a bar in his office and everything.

377

So it was like, you know, the amount of

sperm that I'm sure was all over that

378

freaking office building.

379

So it really wasn't changing that much.

380

It was just a different reciprocal.

381

But yes, and that was how I was conceived.

382

So in terms of like going back to your

initial question of what was my mom told?

383

So the big thing was the sperm donor that

was supposed to be used was supposed to

384

match my dad.

385

And the clinic saying the most important

thing was religion.

386

My dad is Scottish and Irish and Catholic.

387

We took a DNA test when I was 25, 26.

388

My donor is 100 % Ashkenazi Jewish.

389

I am 50 % Ashkenazi Jewish.

390

My mom, she took a DNA test along with me,

does not have like even 1 % of Ashkenazi.

391

So it's all from my donor.

392

So that was one, that was completely

different ancestry, heritage than my

393

father.

394

Also they were like, oh no, no, perfectly

healthy, everything like that.

395

No, I absolutely have had medical

problems.

396

The donor conceived siblings I have found

so far have had medical problems as well.

397

It all seems to be on the donor side.

398

So there's just been lies after lies after

lies being told.

399

And I even called the doctor when I was

19, because I just was curious and I

400

wanted to understand what my medical

history was.

401

And I wanted to see if there was a chance

he would give me his number.

402

And I called him and I was like, you know,

can you give me any kind of information?

403

And he was like, well, you're

404

donor came from a bank that was filled

with like residents and doctors that has

405

now since burnt to the ground.

406

So even if I could give you the name,

which I couldn't, it's all ashes anyway,

407

but I can guarantee you perfectly healthy,

nothing to worry about.

408

Hmm.

409

Well, what's up with these places burning

to the ground?

410

It seems like that's a pretty common thing

we're hearing about.

411

Yes, no, it's actually it's very common

with both donor conceived people and

412

adoptees like adoption agencies and banks

and clinics just apparently burned to the

413

ground.

414

Like there is an arsonist going around,

taking down all of our medical history.

415

I don't know what vendetta this guy has,

but he needs to be stopped.

416

But yeah, no, you ask 10 donor conceived

people what happened to your paperwork.

417

Five of them are going to tell you gone in

a fire or flood.

418

Flood is another big one we get.

419

Yeah.

420

I forget who I talked to, but there was a

donor conceived person.

421

I think like they were in like Michigan or

something.

422

And they were like, yeah, apparently it

was taken out in a flood.

423

And I'm like, by where?

424

Yeah, exactly.

425

Right.

426

What?

427

And she was like, yeah, apparently it was

a flood.

428

I'm like, how, you need to explain what

flood this is.

429

The great Michigan flood, I don't

understand.

430

Yes, yes.

431

Missed the history books.

432

I'm thinking Locusts are going to be

number three.

433

Oh, no.

434

We haven't heard Locust yet, but I would

not be surprised if Locust is now going to

435

be one that we get.

436

I think there's been like fires in

Australia as well.

437

Like bushfires and stuff has been has

taken it out.

438

A big one for our community was Katrina.

439

When Katrina hit that apparently took out

all medical records for like, you know,

440

clinics that were located in California.

441

Apparently, they kept all their records in

New Orleans.

442

So, yeah, they used Katrina, the major

natural disaster that

443

caused so much death and destroyed homes,

the fertility industry was like, ha ha, an

444

opportunity.

445

Wow.

446

Yikes.

447

It's atrocious.

448

So have you gotten any inklings or any

other clues as to who the donor is?

449

Like, has he popped up on VMA?

450

Oh, I totally know who he is.

451

Oh, OK.

452

I was connected to his first cousin on

Ancestry.

453

So and between her and I, we figured out

who it is.

454

And so I know him, I've seen his photo.

455

I totally Facebook stalked him.

456

And yeah, no, he, and he were completely

has refused contact.

457

I've sent him a letter and an email,

nothing.

458

One of my donor conceived siblings has

also emailed him, nothing.

459

I also recently got connected to his

brother, sent his brother an email,

460

nothing.

461

His brother was on a different DNA site.

462

So I sent him a letter, an email through

there and just nothing.

463

Wow.

464

Hmm.

465

Mm -mm -mm.

466

What do you know about him?

467

So I do know who the dude is.

468

My donor is a OBGYN Rabbi Moyle.

469

Hmm.

470

Wow.

471

All right.

472

There you go.

473

Yeah, so definitely does not exactly.

474

I mean, you know, both my dad and my donor

have brown hair.

475

Like, that's the commonality.

476

They got brown hair.

477

How many siblings have you connected with?

478

So far I officially, like, so my donor has

two raised children and then so far I'm

479

one of five donor conceived siblings, but

we know that there's no way there's just

480

five of us.

481

He donated for at least six years.

482

Oh, wow.

483

We know at least minimum, we know he

484

I'm so far the youngest, we have no idea

when he stopped.

485

And he was a medical student and then an

OB -GYN, so we know there's not just six

486

of us.

487

So we're just kind of waiting.

488

But it's very common, so I've not spoken

to all of my siblings, because some of

489

them just don't want contact, which I

totally understand.

490

But what's happened is, it's very common

for people who were born in my generation

491

and older to have never been told that

they were donor conceived.

492

Like so far out of my pod, I'm the only

one who was told.

493

And that creates a lot of problems,

because you have a lot of people just

494

taking 23andMe Ancestry for fun, and then

find out, oopsie, I'm donor conceived.

495

And it's very traumatic.

496

and they're just like, I don't know what

to fucking do.

497

And it can be overwhelming.

498

And a lot of people tend to just go like,

I don't wanna touch this.

499

So I'm giving those siblings of mine time,

but also the bulk of my siblings may have

500

most likely have no idea they're donor

conceived and may never know.

501

And so for them, they're like, why would I

take a DNA test?

502

Right, exactly.

503

Yeah.

504

I mean, you know, not everybody's doing

it, but more and more people are doing it

505

every day.

506

So.

507

Yeah, I mean, those numbers are definitely

going to grow.

508

How did your parents tell you?

509

So I was 14 and my parents for the age

bracket that I'm in, they were very, very

510

progressive.

511

So my parents knew they were always going

to tell me, which is so rare for my age.

512

And it's like such a gift.

513

They when I was born and they, you know,

we started seeing my pediatrician, my

514

pediatrician was like, I swear, fabulous.

515

And she was like,

516

You know, it was always a conversation

between my parents and her and my

517

pediatrician in the eighties.

518

This was her instinct.

519

And I'm like, I adore her.

520

She looked at my dad and was like, you

guys are going to tell her that she's

521

donor conceived and looked at my dad and

was like, and you're going to be the one

522

to tell her, because when you guys tell

her this, she's going to be insecure that

523

you don't love her.

524

She's going to be insecure.

525

You have to be the one to tell her because

that's going to make it OK, which I'm

526

like.

527

Girl, how did you pull that out of

nowhere?

528

Like there's no research.

529

How the heck did you just like pull that

out of the air and go like, this is the

530

right thing to do.

531

Like way to get her, Dr.

532

Mary, her name is Dr.

533

Mary.

534

If she is still in practice, like, oh my

God, best pediatrician I could have asked

535

for.

536

And like such an advocate for me.

537

So it was my dad who told me I was 14

years old and we were driving home and

538

telling me in the car is such a dad thing

to do.

539

And because like you don't have to look at

your kid.

540

Like we can like, you know, it's emotional

connection to an extent.

541

And so he's just looking forward.

542

He can control how long, how short the

conversation is if he wants to take the

543

long way or the short way, or if he wants

to speed really fast.

544

And he just kind of like looks forward and

he was like, Laura, do you know how babies

545

are made?

546

And I'm like, dad, I'm already, my comic

brain is starting to like click in at that

547

point.

548

And I just, I'm like, yeah, dad, I'm 14.

549

I've seen Skinimax.

550

And then of course he like popped right

back and he was like, okay, well, wasn't

551

how you were made.

552

And then kind of went into how, you know,

he was like, do you know what sperm

553

donation is?

554

And I'm like, yeah.

555

And he was like, okay, well, cause at that

point I knew my parents had issues

556

conceiving and he was like, so you know,

your mom and I had issues conceiving.

557

And I was like, yeah.

558

And he's like, so this is why.

559

So we used a sperm donor.

560

Are you understanding what I'm saying?

561

I'm like, yeah.

562

Okay.

563

And it was this moment of, the best way it

was like, I can always explain it was it

564

felt like I could see the matrix.

565

Everything made sense.

566

I was like, it gave me way too much

confidence because of how validating it

567

is, because I was just like, I fucking

knew something was up.

568

I was like, I was adopted, was I switched

at birth?

569

Why does something, I could smell

something was weird, but I looked just

570

like my mother.

571

I looked just like her.

572

So I was like, I had no idea.

573

And this just, I, it just was this like

boo moment where I, yeah, it was like kind

574

of like that Alfred Hitchcock Jaws moment

where you zoom in and you roll the camera

575

back at the same time.

576

It was like one of those.

577

And I just was like, ha.

578

So yeah, it was 14 and, and then I just, I

sat with it for a very long time.

579

I really just was like, all right, that's

cool.

580

I just kind of sat there for a very long

time.

581

Did your father have any of those feelings

about?

582

that he worried that you wouldn't feel

connected to him or something like, you

583

know, we hear these stories of people

whose parents feel that way.

584

I'm going to say he would say no.

585

He would say no, but I think if, you know,

maybe if I get a few drinks in him, then

586

maybe he'd be like, yeah, I was really

scared.

587

She wasn't going to love me or she was

going to look at me really different.

588

I was going to, yeah, I'm sure he would

say that, but I need to get him a lot of

589

gin, lot of gin first before, before he

would admit that.

590

We're pausing here, but Laura's story is

far from over.

591

In part two, we'll explore more of her

advocacy work and the impact of her

592

journey on her personal life.

593

Laura's experience underscores the

emotional complexities of being donor

594

-conceived and raises critical questions

about the ethics of the fertility

595

industry.

596

Laura's candid discussion about her

discovery, advocacy, and the humorous way

597

she brings light to these serious issues

is both inspiring and thought -provoking.

598

We thank Laura for her honesty and for

shedding light on the critical need for

599

legal reforms,

600

and ethical practices in the fertility

industry.

601

What an incredible first part of our

conversation with Laura High.

602

Her stories, her passion for comedy, and

her insights into using humor as a bridge

603

in difficult conversations are truly

remarkable.

604

It's not just about making people laugh.

605

It's about making them think and feel.

606

You can listen to part two with Laura

right now.