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From DEI Education to Leadership Elevation
Episode 156 • 23rd July 2024 • TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective • TonyTidbit ™
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Episode Audio Link: https://podcast.ablackexec.com/episode/From DEI Education to Leadership Elevation

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In this episode of 'A Black Executive Perspective,' hosted by Tony Tidbit and produced at the University of New Haven podcast studio, Tony discusses race challenges in corporate America and organizational leadership with Alex Tremble, founder and CEO of GPS Leadership Solutions. The conversation covers topics such as diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) strategies in organizations; the differences between leadership development and advancement; the importance of building intentional relationships in the professional sphere; and the role of mentors and advocates in career advancement. Alex shares personal anecdotes and professional insights, emphasizing the need for intentional programs to support the advancement of minority leaders. The episode also introduces Alex's upcoming workbook on relationship building and features a call to action acronym 'LESS' to combat discrimination.

▶︎ In This Episode

  1. 00:00: Introduction and Host's Personal Experience
  2. 00:27: Podcast Overview and Acknowledgements
  3. 01:14: Special Guest Introduction: Alex Tremble
  4. 02:11: Alex Tremble's Background and Personal Life
  5. 03:52: The Importance of Executive Leadership and DEI
  6. 08:35: Alex's Personal Journey and Challenges
  7. 16:55: Tony's Personal Story and Connection
  8. 20:28: Founding GPS Leadership Solutions
  9. 23:41: The GPS Leadership Model and Approach
  10. 36:59: Mentoring Programs at the U.S. Department of the Interior
  11. 38:12: Challenges and Solutions in Mentoring Programs
  12. 40:46: Expanding Mentoring Programs Across Departments
  13. 42:14: The Reality of Executive Promotions
  14. 44:38: Addressing Diversity in Leadership
  15. 46:04: The Importance of Standardized Interview Processes
  16. 47:57: Building Effective Relationships for Career Advancement
  17. 53:30: Introducing the Relationship Model
  18. 56:34:Types of Relationships: Detractors, Supporters, and Advocates
  19. 01:05:55: Final Thoughts and Call to Action

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Transcripts

Alex Tremble:

But as a black male myself, I've been the token I've been in spaces

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:

where literally I walked in the office

and I saw people's faces clam up it

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:

because they were afraid they saw me and

they were like, Oh my God, who is this?

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:

Does he belong here?

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Tony Tidbit: We'll discuss race and how it

plays a factor and how we didn't even talk

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about this topic because we were afraid.

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BEP Narrator: A Black

Executive Perspective.

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Tony Tidbit: Welcome to a Black Executive

Perspective, podcasts, a safe space where

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we discuss all matters related to race.

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Especially race in corporate America.

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I'm your host, Tony Tidbit.

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And again, we're live at WNHU 88.

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7 on the Richter dial, the University

of New Haven podcast studio.

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We want to give them mad love for hosting

a Black Executive Perspective podcast.

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:

Hoping everybody continues

to enjoy their summer.

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Go Chargers.

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And obviously, as we always do,

we want to pay homage to our

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partners at CODE M Magazine.

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Please check them out.

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Their mission is help saving the black

family by first saving the black man.

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So please go check them

out at CodeMMagazine.

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com.

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So today is a really, really special day.

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I'm very excited about our guests.

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Um, who's on a good friend of mine.

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Um, and I'm pretty sure you're going

to get a lot out of him, but what

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we're going to do today, we're going

to dive into the particulars of

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organizational leadership and diversity.

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We'll discuss the specific challenges

that CEOs, Chief Human Capital

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Officers, and Chief Diversity Officers

face in creating high performing,

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diverse, and inclusive teams.

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Joining us is Alex Tremble, founder

and CEO of GPS Leadership Solutions.

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Alex will shed light on the

common frustrations and hurdles in

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implementing effective DEI strategies

across different organizations.

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We will also examine the crucial

differences between leadership

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development and leadership advancement.

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Let me tell you a little

bit about my friend Alex.

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Alex D.

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Tremble, founder and CEO of GPS Leadership

Solutions, is a best selling author,

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Executive coach and keynote speaker.

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He started his career in executive

leadership development at the U.

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S.

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Department of the Interior.

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And later served as chief

of staff within the U.

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S.

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National Park Service.

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Alex's mission is to empower ambitious

leaders to achieve their personal

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and professional goals by fostering.

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Clarity, intentionality, and leveraging

strategic relationships across

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all facets of life and business.

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He has authored three best selling books,

the most recent Relationships That Work,

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Simple Steps to Building Intentional

Connections in Business and in Life.

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He's also been recognized by

the Aspen Institute and the

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Leadership Center for Excellence.

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Alex hosts an internationally

known top 10 percent ranked podcast

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called the Executive Appeal.

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Alex Tremble, welcome to a Black

Executive Perspective Podcast, my brother.

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Alex Tremble: Hey, what's

going on, my brother?

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Thank you so much for

having me here with you.

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Tony Tidbit: Buddy, I am so

excited that you're here.

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You know, and look at y'all dolled up.

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All right.

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Looking like a million and 2.

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Alex Tremble: Anytime I can spend

time with you is a time well spent

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and I got to look spiffy for it.

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Tony Tidbit: Oh, well, you know what,

buddy, I really appreciate that.

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But more importantly, importantly,

I appreciate that you're here.

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To share with our audience, right?

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Because you have a very, uh,

very accomplished background.

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Um, you've done a lot of great things.

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You started your own business, um, and

you really help leaders, which we're going

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to chat about today in terms of helping

them take their games to the next level.

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So I know our audience is going to get

a lot out of you today, but before we

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get into the heavy stuff, why don't you

give us a little bit about, you know,

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where you're currently living, what

you're currently doing, and tell us a

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little bit about your family, my friend.

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Alex Tremble: Okay, so, um, I'm a Libra.

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I like long walks on the beach.

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Um, funny enough, I was talking

to someone the other day, they're

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like, oh, you like the beach?

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I'm like, no, I don't like the beach.

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I'm more of a mountain guy, actually.

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I love the green and the water.

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Like, in the, like, you know,

Waterfalls, stuff like that.

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Um, but yeah, Alex Tremble, um,

I am out here in DMV area, DC,

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uh, Virginia, Maryland area.

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Um, I'm blessed to have a little boy.

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He's turning one years old tomorrow.

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So never y'all listen to this episode.

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Just know the day after that,

my boy turned one, one years old

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and he swears he's grown already.

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I see it.

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I don't know what this guy's trying to do,

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Tony Tidbit: but you know what?

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He's growing.

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That's what he's doing.

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Alex Tremble: There's a difference

between growing and being grown and

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he, he think he can order us around.

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Tony Tidbit: Well, that's awesome.

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Tell us about your lovely wife, my friend.

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Alex Tremble: Well, my wife is again,

lovely, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent,

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all the things her and I actually

met via Facebook back in the day.

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Um, she is from Myanmar, the

country, um, uh, Southeast Asia.

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Okay.

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And we met via when I was.

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going to college and undergrad in Iowa.

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And she was an undergrad

college in Massachusetts.

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And she doesn't like that.

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I say this, but this is

what actually happened.

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Um, I came across her profile because

you know, we had a mutual friend.

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I thought she was cute.

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So I shot, I had to

shoot my shoot, my shot.

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And it worked.

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We've been together for 17 years

now, married for the last 10.

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Tony Tidbit: Well,

congratulations, my friend.

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You know, one thing we can always

say, college definitely paid off,

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not just from a business standpoint,

but also from a family standpoint.

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So that's awesome.

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So listen, my friend, tell us,

you know, look, like I said,

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you're very accomplished.

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You got a lot going on.

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You got a thriving business.

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You travel all over the world,

helping executives in terms of

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their business and really helping

them from a personal standpoint.

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Why did you want to come on

a Black Executive Perspective

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podcast to talk about this topic?

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Alex Tremble: Well, first.

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To be with you, actually, just

to hang out with you, that has

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to be the number one answer.

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Um, second is, is exactly what you

talked about just a second ago.

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You said helping people in their work

and in their personal life and see

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again, this is Sometimes a very unpopular

statement, um, to make in the wrong rooms.

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And I'm going to say this right here.

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I think we're in a safe space.

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Um, executive leaders

are an underserved group.

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And people like always, like I was

talking to someone really close

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about this just this past week.

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And I was like, I said that they were

like, what are you talking about?

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They got all the money, they got all

the power, they got all the influence.

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And I'm like, yeah,

see, that's the problem.

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Everyone thinks just because it

got some more money, got some more

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power, got some more influence

that their lives are perfect.

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And all of us know who are in those

roles and work people in those roles.

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That is not the case.

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Um, they have family

issues just like everyone.

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They have budget issues.

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They have, um, they have what

was called, um, like, Where they

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don't think they're good enough.

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Um, they have challenges navigating

the workplace versus their family life.

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There's so many challenges

that they deal with.

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This is why I love working with them

because also just from a practical

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standpoint, when they're not living

their best life, when they're not

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functioning at the high level, they

can and should be functioning at who

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ultimately pays the price, right?

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It's

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the, the stakeholders, the, the

stockholders, the, the, the, um, the

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organizations they work with, the

organization, the employees, right?

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This is really important.

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Tony Tidbit: Got it.

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My brother.

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Well, listen, it seems like you

already chopping at the bit.

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So you ready to talk about it, my friend?

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Alex Tremble: Yes, sir.

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Let's go.

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Tony Tidbit: All right,

let's talk about it.

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So before we get in there,

I want our audience, because

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obviously you just said a lot.

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And, you know, um, you know, people

listening to this, uh, based on you,

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you know, the description you just,

you just talked about in terms of

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people thinking that they're perfect

and, um, they're underserved, um,

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from an executive standpoint, right?

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And they need help, right?

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So talk to us a little bit, let's

back up a little bit and let's learn

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a little bit more from Alex about, you

know, who is this guy, Alex Tremble.

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So talk to us a little bit

about where you grew up.

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Life and the influence, you know, what

influence did you have in your life as

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you grew up that helped you shaped you

to where you got to where you are today?

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Alex Tremble: Wow.

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You know, what's funny is I very

rarely am asked these questions, right?

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So you got me thinking.

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Um, so I'm initially from

Victorville, California.

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Um, so SoCal boy myself, and.

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If I think about the first thing I can

remember that helped shape who I am today,

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um, it is my biological father leaving

when I was just two or three days old.

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Um, that is.

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That is the thing that I think

has driven me the vast majority

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of my life and everything that

I've been able to accomplish.

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Um, you know, it was funny because,

you know, going through school, I was

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a good, good student, not straight A's,

nothing like that, but a good student.

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Um, but I, I, I was in the football team.

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Um, I got my senior year, all

area, all CIF, all LA times,

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all, all the good stuff.

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I was a wrestler.

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I was in the track and field team.

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Definitely the field part.

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And I had this drive to

be successful, to do well.

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And I still remember, and I, and let

me, please stop me from going off track.

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Anyway, I still remember.

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My, my auntie, my, one of my favorite

aunties, one of my favorite people, um,

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she was getting baptized and I saw, it was

like this high school, I saw this as an

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opportunity to meet my biological father.

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I knew he was going to be there.

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And so I brought this, this photo

album of me and my friends and me

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playing football and things like that.

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And I was so ready to show

him and he didn't even want to

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take the time to look at it.

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And I remember being devastated it.

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But it didn't stop me.

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I still kept working, striving

to do as well as I can.

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And I talk about this in my book

briefly, the relationships at work

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that drove me so hard to accomplish so

much stuff, just because I had a desire

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that maybe if I was, if I got, if I

was good enough, if I achieved enough,

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he would want to be part of my life.

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And just a few years ago, me

and my auntie were talking.

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She was like, Alex, look, real talk.

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You got to stop.

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Tony Tidbit: He

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Alex Tremble: doesn't care about you.

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He doesn't want to be in your life.

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No matter what you do, he's

not going to be that guy.

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And that was one of those times

I needed that straight talk.

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Um, because again, I, even as an adult,

I still was putting it out there.

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Even though I talked to myself and say I

wasn't, um, I still was, but ultimately

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I'll tell everyone this is like, and

I do believe this a hundred percent.

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All of those things that we look back

on our life and say how dark, how hard,

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how trying, how all those places in

your life that you just weren't sure

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you were going to make it, those things,

they, they, they seem bad in the moment.

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But if you look at them in retrospect.

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Everything that you've accomplished

is in part due to those things.

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As I look at my dad, yeah,

my biological father left me.

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And that put me in a very difficult

psychological situation for a long time.

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Still, let's be real,

it's still with me, right?

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But if he hadn't left, I wouldn't

have my, my five siblings, right?

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Because I would have been

in a different family.

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If he hadn't left, then I wouldn't

have met my wife because I would

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have probably been overseas with

him because he was in the military.

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If he hadn't left, the list

goes on and on and on and on.

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Maybe I wouldn't have had that same

drive that allowed me to get my

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first job as an adult was to create

and manage the executive leadership

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development program for U.S.

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Federal agency and managed three

government wide executive leaders,

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develop programs when I was 23.

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So maybe if he would have been around,

I wouldn't have worked as hard.

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That would have set me

up for those situations.

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And so I encourage everyone

that even when you're.

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When times are good, look back at their

life and just look back at your life

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and see those, those, those, those hard

times and make that connection to say,

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wow, I am where I am because this did

this, which did this, which did this.

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And so if you do that, if you can

be honest with yourself about how

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those negative and those hurtful

moments in your life contributed to

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your positive situation, then when

you're in a dark and trying time,

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it's easier to say, you know what?

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I'm going to get through this and I'm

going to be looking back on this in

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a few years and saying how it helped

me grow that next level of my life.

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Tony Tidbit: Yeah.

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I love you for number one.

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Thanks for sharing my friend.

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And you know, I listened, you

left, you threw a lot of nuggets,

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um, in your story, um, that people

could take away from, right.

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And, and one of the things

you just talked about that.

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Um, you know, this happened, you know,

like you said, he left when you were two,

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three, two, two or three days old, right?

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And then you, you were able to

hopefully, um, build a relationship

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with him at your, at your game.

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And he didn't even want

to spend time with you.

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Right.

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Um, but one of the major lessons

is that you just got from the

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saying a couple of years ago.

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And if I make sure I'm clear

that you had a talk with your

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auntie and she said, let it go.

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Okay.

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So you still carried

that even though Oh yeah.

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You knew you were helping

other people . Mm-Hmm.

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. They had their own stories or had

their own missing pieces in their life.

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You were providing them advice.

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They were like, thank you, Alex.

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Oh my God, blah, blah, blah.

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And you must have it all together

because you are able to help me.

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But there was a piece

still missing with you.

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So, Net, Net, we don't, um, and I'd

love to hear your thoughts on this.

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We don't become instantly

cured in situations.

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We learn how to deal with them, right?

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And, but at some point we

got to learn to let it go.

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So what's your thoughts on that?

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Because look, you are helping people.

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But why you were hurting at the,

and yeah, you use it as motivation.

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Yeah.

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You were able you, you know,

you wouldn't have met your wife.

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Yeah.

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I mean, all those things are true.

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But at the end of the day,

you're still human as well.

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Oh,

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Alex Tremble: absolutely.

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And, and, uh, well, I'm a, I'm a,

I want to make a quick amendment

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to that story just so everyone

understands the very important part.

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So yes, my auntie told me that a

few years ago, um, but when I was

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in college, my mom figured out the

reason why I was working so hard.

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And she was, she told me, hey,

Alex, do this for you, not for him.

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Um, and then my auntie's boyfriend,

because I actually, uh, we're at a

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wedding, uh, we're preparing for a

wedding and he, uh, my biological father

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and his new wife went to the house and

they were in the same space, same time.

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And I was, Man, Tony, you

wouldn't recognize me.

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I was so cold.

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I was so, they tried to say hi.

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I wouldn't talk to him.

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Didn't talk to nobody.

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I had this, this mean mug

on my face the entire time.

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Cause I wanted him to know

that I was not happy with him.

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And you know, my auntie's

boyfriend pulled me aside and

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say, Alex, don't, don't do that.

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You are allowing him

to change who you are.

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You are a funny, kind, helpful person.

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And the person you're being

right now is not that.

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And he was like, doing that is not going

to allow you to release your emotions.

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You have, cause you, in order to

be like, in order to be upset and

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angry, you have to Harbor those

relationships, that emotion.

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And so that next day, after he pulled

me aside, Completely different person,

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you know, just laughing, joking.

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But I, even again, that I'm

still working through that.

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So the point being that I think that

we should be mindful that yes, we

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are all, I think everyone is going

through something at some point.

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And just because you're going through

something at some point doesn't mean

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you can't help someone out, someone

else out with their situation.

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And I think it actually probably helps

you when you're helping other people, you

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know, just go through those emotional,

those difficult life challenges, you know?

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Tony Tidbit: Buddy, preach, preach.

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You mind if I tell you a story?

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And, you know, it's interesting.

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You know, when I met you, you know,

actually I was a guest on your

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podcast and we, we, we hit it off.

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We just had instant chemistry

and I knew nothing of the story

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that you just shared, right?

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Let me share something with you

because I always think kindred, you

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know, you, you talk about kindred

spirits, um, you know, I believe that

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there's, um, there's no coincidences.

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You meet people, thru your life

as you walk the earth, and,

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um, it's not based on luck.

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It's reason, season, lifetime, and,

and we can get into that another time.

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But the reason I bring this

up, because I didn't know your

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story, but let me tell you mine.

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I remember when I, when I, uh,

turned 13 years old on my birthday,

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:

my mother came to me and told me

that, um, who my real father was.

343

:

And I knew that, um, You know,

my stepfather wasn't my father

344

:

because I didn't look like

the rest of my siblings, okay?

345

:

So I knew that, right?

346

:

But then she dropped that

on me, and it was heavy.

347

:

I didn't even know how

to process it, okay?

348

:

Like you, very, I, you know, I, I

just wanted to be something, I, just

349

:

very ambitious, and look, I didn't

get to the, to the levels that Alex

350

:

Tremble did, which is awesome, okay?

351

:

But here's the thing.

352

:

Uh, when in my 30s, all of a sudden I

was sitting with my girlfriend, now wife,

353

:

watching a movie and I saw Antoine Fisher

and a movie about a kid who was in the

354

:

Navy having hard times and he didn't know

his family and Denzel Washington told

355

:

him, you know, go and find your family.

356

:

Right.

357

:

And at the end of the

movie, he found his family.

358

:

And I started crying uncontrollably.

359

:

And my wife was looking at me.

360

:

And she was like, What's wrong with you?

361

:

I mean, not tears strolling.

362

:

Mm-Hmm.

363

:

crying.

364

:

Uncontrolled because I, that

hurt that I was, I was carrying

365

:

all of a sudden came out.

366

:

Mm-Hmm, . Okay.

367

:

It came out and so and so, and I

didn't, she didn't know what to do.

368

:

I'm talking five, 10 minutes just, and

then I knew I had to go find my father.

369

:

Okay.

370

:

So I went on that journey.

371

:

Okay.

372

:

And I was able to find them.

373

:

And my father was a successful

businessman in Detroit, Michigan,

374

:

own more, just successful.

375

:

And I get, and this is the thing.

376

:

This is where I got my

entrepreneurial spirit.

377

:

This is where I got my, uh,

ambition and stuff to that nature,

378

:

even though he wasn't in my life.

379

:

And I pulled up into his, in

the parking lot of his business,

380

:

sat outside for like 20 minutes.

381

:

Afraid to go in and then I walked in and

as soon as I walked in, it was a family

382

:

owned business and they looked at me

double looked like, you know, because

383

:

I've supposedly looked a lot like my

father and I asked for him to come out

384

:

and they said, have a seat and I waited

10 minutes and he didn't come out.

385

:

Okay, and you know what?

386

:

I said, thank you.

387

:

I walked out and guess what?

388

:

He became dead to me.

389

:

Right?

390

:

Because I fulfilled my mission.

391

:

I went to look for him.

392

:

I didn't care what happened.

393

:

I wasn't looking for money.

394

:

All I wanted to do was see

somebody that looked like me.

395

:

Okay?

396

:

And I carried this hurt for years.

397

:

But he didn't want to

have that relationship.

398

:

So guess what?

399

:

It was done, and I've never

looked back since, okay?

400

:

So, I thank you for sharing your

story, because those are not

401

:

easy stories to share, okay?

402

:

And this is, and to your point about

becoming so successful based on that,

403

:

and also the positive outlook, I

can definitely relate, my brother.

404

:

So, one of the things I want

to ask you, You GPS leadership.

405

:

Tell us a little bit.

406

:

How did you start that man?

407

:

Because you've been helping

people for, I don't know how long.

408

:

Right.

409

:

So talk to us a little bit about that.

410

:

Alex Tremble: So, you

know, it's funny actually.

411

:

Um, so the, the reason GPS actually came

about was because, um, I literally, I was

412

:

on a Metro, uh, train, you know, heading

out of side of DC, um, an organization

413

:

had asked me to come and speak.

414

:

And I'm like, yeah, sure, sure.

415

:

But I didn't have like,

I didn't have a name.

416

:

Like I didn't have an organization's name.

417

:

And so look, this is literally

back when I was like 20.

418

:

25 years old or something.

419

:

I'm on the Metro and I'm talking to

one of my mentors and she's like,

420

:

what do you want to talk about?

421

:

I said, well, you know, in order to

be successful, um, you gotta make sure

422

:

you have, you know, your, your, your

goals, you know, you gotta have goals.

423

:

She said, okay, okay.

424

:

And she said, what else?

425

:

I said, well, once you have your goal,

then you can develop a plan, right?

426

:

You know, a plan and she

said, okay, cool plan.

427

:

And then, and then, you know what?

428

:

You gotta have the plan, but

you also gotta have like.

429

:

The strategies, like how do you build

those connections with the right people?

430

:

Because for me, I, it's

always been about connections.

431

:

I've always, my, my entire life's

journey has always been just being

432

:

blessed that people wanted to help me.

433

:

And there was something I did

to make people want to help me.

434

:

And I think that that's what we teach

through our programs and our training

435

:

and our coaching and things like that.

436

:

Like, how do you build those very

intentional and meaningful connections?

437

:

Because that's where if you're at the

executive level, that's what it's about.

438

:

Right.

439

:

It's about how do you navigate, um,

difficult situations via people.

440

:

Um, and so she said, Oh, okay.

441

:

So you're talking about is GPS.

442

:

And I was like, goals, plans, strategy.

443

:

Oh my God.

444

:

This is, this is okay.

445

:

Now, over the years, we

actually, you know, transitioned

446

:

the language from goals.

447

:

Um, from GPS being goals, plan and

strategy to goals, plan and stamina

448

:

because the plan is kind of like a

strategy, but you know what, when you're

449

:

going to reach a goal, especially, you

know, again, these higher levels, super

450

:

high level, super exclusive clubs that

you're in when you get those levels,

451

:

you're going to need some stamina.

452

:

Things are going to get hard.

453

:

They're gonna be challenging.

454

:

You're gonna have to work some long hours.

455

:

At some point, you're gonna make

some tough decisions, right?

456

:

So you got to have that stamina,

especially if you're getting a

457

:

person of color as a black male

myself, I've been the token.

458

:

I've been in spaces where literally I

walked in the office and I saw people's

459

:

faces claim it because they were afraid.

460

:

They saw me and they were

like, Oh my God, who is this?

461

:

Does he belong here?

462

:

And I have some fun.

463

:

Not funny from entry.

464

:

You laugh at them in the, you

know, in retrospect, but some

465

:

situations has happened just

because of my face and how I look.

466

:

And so I think you have to have

that stamina if you plan to not

467

:

only reach those levels, but

sustain yourself at those levels.

468

:

Tony Tidbit: So buddy, tell us

specifically, like, what do you do?

469

:

How do you help?

470

:

Tell us a little bit about your

programs and stuff to that nature.

471

:

Alex Tremble: Yes, sir.

472

:

So, you know, I tend to, or I say,

I, we, I have a phenomenal team.

473

:

I get to work with, um, work,

tend to work with, uh, chief.

474

:

Diversity officers, chief

HR officers, um, and CEOs.

475

:

You said that in the beginning, um,

generally because those individuals

476

:

who have, um, domain over the

entire organization when it comes

477

:

to developing leadership, uh,

leadership programs and whatnot.

478

:

Um, at the same time, we do

a lot of leadership coaching.

479

:

Um, we had this phenomenal woman,

um, uh, SVP at this fortune 500

480

:

company, um, her and her VP team.

481

:

We coached for them for about a year

and just, just the results are amazing.

482

:

They were going through a merger and

how do you navigate through a merger?

483

:

Again, you all know at those levels,

it's the people at the top, whether the

484

:

greatest chance of, um, of being exited.

485

:

Right.

486

:

And so how do we navigate and

keep all these of these executives

487

:

inspired, engaged as you're

moving through this process?

488

:

So let me take a step back, though,

to answer your question directly.

489

:

Um, You talked about, you mentioned

what, what I'm really passionate

490

:

about, um, leadership development

versus leadership advancement.

491

:

So here's the reality.

492

:

Um, many of these organizations,

especially a lot of, um, organizations

493

:

who, who say they're about inclusiveness

and they say they're about, um, increasing

494

:

diversity within their organization.

495

:

As your last guest actually spoke

about a couple of weeks ago now, um,

496

:

um, Every single time you look at the

executive ranks, you look at the board

497

:

ranks, or even the senior leader ranks.

498

:

At some points, there's no diversity.

499

:

There's always diversity

at the low end, right?

500

:

People who can sweep the sweep, the

floors or, you know, file some documents

501

:

for everyone's well, great diversity,

502

:

Tony Tidbit: 50 percent of the company.

503

:

Alex Tremble: But when it comes, but

when it comes to decision makers, when it

504

:

comes to people making the big bucks and

having those influence, the diversity,

505

:

this tends to dissipate somewhere.

506

:

So, but why?

507

:

The question is why we have these great,

great leadership development programs.

508

:

We're developing these phenomenal leaders.

509

:

But here's the, here's the rub

is there's a difference between.

510

:

Developing a leader, which is, you know,

conflict management, you know, budgeting,

511

:

project management, account, whatever

they, you got those leadership skills.

512

:

Great.

513

:

Hooray.

514

:

We're done.

515

:

Okay, less leadership development.

516

:

There are so many people

who have been developed as

517

:

leaders who have not advanced.

518

:

Tony Tidbit: Right, right, right, right.

519

:

Alex Tremble: There's a difference

between leadership development

520

:

and leadership advancement.

521

:

Say another word for it is what is

your intentional succession planning?

522

:

Right?

523

:

And so when we go into organizations,

it's not only, you know, making sure

524

:

that yes, these people are developed

and they're prepared to move into the

525

:

senior executive level ranks, but it's.

526

:

How'd they build the right

relationships with the right people.

527

:

So when the opportunities arise, they

are the ones who are thought of because

528

:

at that level, it is about who, you

know, who, you know, who trusts you.

529

:

They know that you're loyal

and so on and so forth.

530

:

And you know, 80%, 80 percent of

opportunities are actually given

531

:

via relationships, not resumes,

532

:

Tony Tidbit: not

533

:

Alex Tremble: because all that person,

you know, they're such a hard worker.

534

:

No, no, no.

535

:

There's a lot of people who work hard.

536

:

You and I know a lot of people

right now who work really hard and

537

:

they're not what they want to be.

538

:

So it's not about hard work.

539

:

It's not about leadership skills

because black and brown people.

540

:

Have leadership skills.

541

:

It's not like they don't have the skills

is they don't have the connections to

542

:

the influencers required to be in those

rooms and have a seat at the table.

543

:

So we build programs, policies, and

initiatives that not only develop those

544

:

leadership skills, but also intentionally

connecting with those people who are going

545

:

to ultimately be this decision maker when

they need people to move into those roles.

546

:

Tony Tidbit: So thanks buddy.

547

:

Let me ask you this, because you know,

number one, you hit it on the head.

548

:

There's a lot of programs

to develop people.

549

:

Um, I, I, I went to, um, you know,

a program, um, at the University of

550

:

Virginia, Darden School of Business.

551

:

All right.

552

:

And, uh, it was 50 of us there

from all across the country.

553

:

All right.

554

:

And again, I don't know how

many people actually moved up.

555

:

Okay.

556

:

That's the thing, right?

557

:

So you're 100 percent right.

558

:

So how do you though, You know, you

say you develop programs to teach them

559

:

to network and meet the right people

in the right room and talk a little

560

:

bit more about how does that work

because at the end of the day, you're

561

:

and I don't want to skip because you

said you said a lot of great stuff.

562

:

I just want to make sure

everybody heard 80%.

563

:

Mm.

564

:

Of those advancements is

based on relationships.

565

:

Mm-Hmm.

566

:

Let's just be clear here.

567

:

Okay?

568

:

Mm-Hmm.

569

:

Everybody.

570

:

You know, when I was in business

school, they said that to, they

571

:

were like, Tony, at your level.

572

:

And that wasn't talking to me.

573

:

It was talking to everybody in the room.

574

:

At you guys' level.

575

:

We already know you qualified.

576

:

. Okay?

577

:

Mm-Hmm.

578

:

. That's just automatic.

579

:

You, we didn't, we're not, when

you are interviewing, they're not

580

:

asking you questions about can

you, do they know that already?

581

:

Just based on what you've done.

582

:

It now becomes more about a

people thing, a culture thing.

583

:

Do you fit in, you know, and the

only way you're going to answer

584

:

those questions is about having

those connections with people.

585

:

Plus all those, plus you got to

have people that's going to sponsor

586

:

you and speak on your behalf.

587

:

Right.

588

:

When you're not in the room, that's

already saying we got to have this guy

589

:

because he's got this, this, or she's

awesome, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

590

:

You ain't got that.

591

:

You can be so look.

592

:

Go into it.

593

:

Tell us how your program

helps in that capacity.

594

:

Alex Tremble: So in the beginning,

there is heaven and earth.

595

:

Um,

596

:

So is that fun?

597

:

Um, so look, here's the thing.

598

:

One, it needs to be, the first

thing is it needs to be elongated.

599

:

Right?

600

:

Um, this is not a, we're going to send

someone to a day, a week long course.

601

:

Now it's all done.

602

:

That doesn't happen.

603

:

Um, so there's a few factors

that need to take in place.

604

:

First is that, uh, we've got

the four C connection model.

605

:

This is what we base all

of our stuff on four C's.

606

:

Um, the first is mindset change,

then internal clarity, external

607

:

clarity, then behavior choice.

608

:

Um, the first thing is mindset change.

609

:

First is mindset change,

because if you don't change

610

:

someone's mindset, Nothing else.

611

:

We can teach you all the skills.

612

:

In the world, but you'll never

do it right because you don't,

613

:

you don't agree with it.

614

:

You don't understand it.

615

:

Tony Tidbit: So the Alex real

616

:

quick, when you say change somebody's

mindset, give an example, like

617

:

what type of mindset change.

618

:

Okay.

619

:

Alex Tremble: Yes.

620

:

So the, there's many

different levels of this.

621

:

There's the first is the

mindset of the individual.

622

:

Um, because I can't tell you how many

individuals who get to these levels who

623

:

say, I don't want to rely on my network.

624

:

I don't want to rely on who I, who I

know, because I want to show everyone

625

:

that I can do it, that I'm smart enough,

that I can just push it all by myself.

626

:

No, oh, there are so many

leaders at this level who is

627

:

called imposter syndrome, right?

628

:

They don't believe enough in themselves.

629

:

They feel like they have to do it

themselves still at that level.

630

:

And so they, they want to show, especially

in black and Brown people, they want

631

:

to show that, Hey, I'm smart enough.

632

:

I'm not just here because I'm a number.

633

:

I'm not just here because I know

somebody, but the reality is that.

634

:

Everyone else is there because they know

somebody and it's nothing wrong with that.

635

:

So it's changing the

participant's mindset on this.

636

:

And then second is change the

organization's mindset or those

637

:

decision makers specifically to

say, Hey, look Putting people in a

638

:

leadership program is not going to

make change Just look at your data.

639

:

If putting people in a leadership

program made the change, then you would

640

:

have different data, but your data is

showing that you still lack diversity.

641

:

So then we need to do something different.

642

:

It was the saying, if you want something

to change, then you have to change, right?

643

:

Could this change how we go about this?

644

:

So first is mindset change.

645

:

And this is the whole big thing.

646

:

Um, second is internal clarity.

647

:

Again, internal clarity for the person

is different for the organization.

648

:

Internal clarity for the person

is understanding for that person.

649

:

What are my goals?

650

:

What are my desires?

651

:

Where do I want to be?

652

:

Um, why do I want it?

653

:

Um, understanding everything

you can about yourself.

654

:

Um, why?

655

:

Because when people think

about relationship, they only

656

:

think about the other person.

657

:

Oh, I got to meet that person.

658

:

I got to meet that person.

659

:

I mean, I got to meet Tony,

but here's the problem.

660

:

Maybe Tony's not the right person

for you to connect with right now.

661

:

Maybe that person over there

is not the right person.

662

:

You need to understand where

you're headed so that you know

663

:

who can help get you there.

664

:

You need to understand what resources

you have access to so you can know

665

:

who to help, what you don't have

access to, who can help you get there.

666

:

You need to understand where you feel most

comfortable because here's the reality.

667

:

When you feel comfortable, you look

confident when you look confident,

668

:

you are trusted and you can establish

those relationships much easier.

669

:

Right?

670

:

But that's all that internal

work that internal clarity.

671

:

Once you have external clarity.

672

:

So sorry, the same thing

for the organization.

673

:

Organization has to make

a decision for themselves.

674

:

Where do we want to go?

675

:

Do we want inclusivity and

diversity at these levels?

676

:

Are we willing to put in the energy

and the effort to make this happen?

677

:

Sorry, let me take it back.

678

:

Take a step back.

679

:

Not just the energy and

effort, the money, right?

680

:

We can say we care about things

all day, but we all know.

681

:

Your priorities are

dictated by your budget.

682

:

So you look at your budget, you

can see what the priorities are.

683

:

So are you willing to actually invest

in these people, making sure they have

684

:

the time and space and the resources to

actually advance into these positions?

685

:

Um, then after internal clarity is

external clarity for the individual.

686

:

Now that you understand where you

want to go and what you're missing

687

:

and what you need and so on and so

forth, who can help you get there?

688

:

Where are they at?

689

:

Who are their friends?

690

:

Who are their enemies?

691

:

How can you help them?

692

:

What are their needs?

693

:

What are their desires?

694

:

Right?

695

:

That's the external clarity

for the organization.

696

:

You've made a decision that you want

to move forward in this direction.

697

:

Who can help get you there?

698

:

Obviously, this is where GPS leadership

comes in and we help again, create

699

:

these programs and manage them,

coaching and all the things like that.

700

:

Then finally is behavior choice.

701

:

Behavior choice is what everyone

loves to talk about when it

702

:

comes to relationship building.

703

:

Oh, I should shake this person's hand.

704

:

Oh, I should, um, I should look

them in the eye, whatever it may be.

705

:

Those are behaviors.

706

:

Here's the reality.

707

:

It doesn't matter what behaviors, you

know, if you don't have the right mindset.

708

:

Because you're not going to do anything

doesn't matter what behaviors, you know,

709

:

if you don't have internal clarity,

because you don't know where you're

710

:

headed, you don't matter what behaviors,

you know, if you don't have extra clarity,

711

:

you may be talking to the wrong person.

712

:

So this is why all those things

need to happen in order, um, And

713

:

then we'll talk about this new idea.

714

:

I've just been working on.

715

:

Um, I'm really excited about it.

716

:

But the long story short is we take them

through this four C connection model

717

:

as an organization, as an individual.

718

:

Again, elongated program is

generally what works best.

719

:

Um, you know, at least nine months to

12 months because you need the time to,

720

:

um, to, to allow them to actually build

relationships with those decision makers,

721

:

which Within the organization, um, it

can't be again, it's not a weak thing.

722

:

It's not a two week thing has to be

over and over and over because not only

723

:

do they need to understand that these

things are important, but many of them

724

:

are still lacking the skill when it comes

to building intentional relationships.

725

:

Now, again, we have all not, we have

all many of us have reached this,

726

:

this, these, these roles by chance.

727

:

By just working hard by pure force, right?

728

:

Just doing whatever you got to do,

but there's easier ways, right?

729

:

You don't always got to beat

your head up against the wall.

730

:

There are easier ways.

731

:

So that's what we teach

them specific skills.

732

:

Some that we go over a minute that we

go over in the book relationships that

733

:

work, but we teach them these very

specific skills tied, tied, connected to

734

:

their specific unique needs and goals.

735

:

Tony Tidbit: So tell us a little, little

bit about like, based on everything

736

:

that you've done, tell us, give us some,

some examples of how you, or some major

737

:

accomplishments you were, you were able

to be, some wins that you were able to

738

:

do from an organizational standpoint.

739

:

Obviously, You're helping individuals.

740

:

So I, that part, I think is a no brainer.

741

:

Tell me a little bit about some of the

organizations you are able to change

742

:

their mindset, get them to network, right?

743

:

Because it's not as much Tony Franklin

going to meet with everybody, right?

744

:

It's about.

745

:

The senior leadership, all right,

the C suite coming and meeting Tony

746

:

Franklin and spending time with me and

then say, Oh, you know, we got one.

747

:

All right.

748

:

So tell me a little bit about that.

749

:

Alex Tremble: One of my favorite ones

that come to mind actually is the,

750

:

um, the work we did at the department,

the U S department, the interior.

751

:

Tony Tidbit: Okay.

752

:

Alex Tremble: Um, So here's the reality.

753

:

Again, as you pro as in the private

sector, as in the federal government,

754

:

there there's a severe lack of diversity

at those senior level positions.

755

:

So the question was beginning, okay, how

do we increase the number of individuals

756

:

in those senior executive level roles?

757

:

It's like, cool.

758

:

And they want to do it via mentoring

program, which I am a huge proponent of.

759

:

I, I love mentoring programs.

760

:

We, we craft create launch mini and

entering program for organizations.

761

:

Um, and so for this one, um, I'll

tell you, I am not a, I don't

762

:

believe in like, there's one shot.

763

:

What, what, one shot, one kill.

764

:

I, I, the snipers are great at it.

765

:

And that is their job.

766

:

That's their job.

767

:

Tony Tidbit: I'm teasing, bro.

768

:

Go ahead.

769

:

You got a shotgun.

770

:

You can

771

:

Alex Tremble: blast a lot of people.

772

:

Tony Tidbit: Okay.

773

:

Alex Tremble: But look, but look.

774

:

Right, shotgun.

775

:

Right.

776

:

Right.

777

:

I believe in a shotgun approach,

but a controlled shotgun.

778

:

Right.

779

:

So, instead of saying we have 1 program,

that's going to help 1, 1 person.

780

:

Right.

781

:

Or because that's the problem with

most mentoring programs by design.

782

:

Most member mentoring programs.

783

:

Other a lot of people, right?

784

:

You can only have so many

people in a mentoring program.

785

:

If you can only have 30 people, 40

people, what about the rest of everyone

786

:

else who may be a great position

or great shot for the next, the

787

:

next opportunity, they get nothing.

788

:

Right, right, right.

789

:

And so I think you have to

have multiple levels of this.

790

:

So what we did with interior is

actually create a few different

791

:

levels of mentoring opportunities

as well as a mentoring program.

792

:

So we had, yes, the mentoring

program that was focused on.

793

:

Just connecting those senior

level executives with those

794

:

people who are just about moving.

795

:

So we have about 40

people in that program.

796

:

Very specific, very intense, very, um,

I don't think control, but monitored

797

:

for an extended period of time.

798

:

Yes.

799

:

We also then had a number of mentoring

events consistently happening.

800

:

So we had, um.

801

:

Speed mentoring events, right?

802

:

So those things happen, uh, consistently

throughout the year to allow anyone

803

:

who wanted to access these individuals

and our other leaders and mentoring

804

:

opportunities to access that.

805

:

So we would have, um, it

was actually really cool.

806

:

Sometimes we did days for for

women, um, women in leadership, um,

807

:

executives, um, uh, project managers, I.

808

:

T.

809

:

Professionals, whatever, uh,

We did obviously the, uh, the

810

:

assessments first to figure out

who was looking for mentorship.

811

:

What did the ranks look like?

812

:

What were the positions that need

to be filled in the next few years?

813

:

Um, what are the skills required?

814

:

So once we did all that work, it

was really easy to identify what

815

:

were those big buckets that we

could keep holding, uh, hosting

816

:

mentoring events for, um, again, Alex,

817

:

Tony Tidbit: can I, can

I just jump in real fast?

818

:

Just want to make sure I'm clear, right?

819

:

So if I'm hearing when you say the

speed mentoring program, that was a,

820

:

uh, program where senior leadership.

821

:

Could come down and meet with

people who were interested in a

822

:

mentor program so they could help

develop and more importantly, see

823

:

their pipeline of individuals.

824

:

And then when opportunities

they could pull because

825

:

they're building relationships.

826

:

Is that what I'm hearing?

827

:

Alex Tremble: Exactly.

828

:

Tony Tidbit: Okay.

829

:

Alex Tremble: Yeah.

830

:

Okay,

831

:

Tony Tidbit: buddy.

832

:

Alex Tremble: So again,

that was on tonight.

833

:

You have two levels.

834

:

You have, you have the, the, the

program that's for 40 people.

835

:

You have the, the mentoring events,

the speed mentoring, uh, opportunities

836

:

and whatnot that are happening for,

uh, You know, a few hundred people.

837

:

I don't think that's enough.

838

:

I still think there's

opportunity out there.

839

:

So with the government,

government's massive, right?

840

:

So we had one department.

841

:

Let's say, how can, how about we

work with other departments as well?

842

:

And then we started

having events with OPM.

843

:

All the acronyms.

844

:

Sorry.

845

:

Um, the Office of Personnel Management, U.

846

:

S.

847

:

Department of Interior, U.

848

:

S.

849

:

D.

850

:

A.

851

:

Um, the F.

852

:

B.

853

:

I.

854

:

All the other organizations.

855

:

I started coordinating with them and we

have bigger events for everyone there

856

:

because now you're cross pollinating

857

:

across different departments and

you're exposing people because

858

:

the reality is, is that That one

department only has so many slots.

859

:

So now you're exposing them to other

opportunities and the same thing can

860

:

actually go with an organization,

especially the bigger organizations that

861

:

we work with, but they have thousands

and thousands and thousands of employees.

862

:

You can do something at your

department level, then also do

863

:

something at the organizational level.

864

:

And then if you're actually,

if you're feeling, if you're

865

:

feeling good about yourself, do

something industry wide, right?

866

:

There's so much fear about,

there's so much fear.

867

:

In losing great employees, which I

understand, you know, great employees

868

:

are always going to be sought after, but

if you can create a culture and a brand

869

:

of you wanting people to come in and see

what you do and you allowing them to see

870

:

what other people do, one, they're going

to learn some new stuff that they're

871

:

going to bring back to your organization.

872

:

And two, if they leave, there's probably

someone else who out there who attended

873

:

your event, who says, you know what?

874

:

I'm interested in this organization.

875

:

So it keeps the new blood as well.

876

:

You know, new blood coming in.

877

:

Tony Tidbit: So, net net, were

you, based on working with the

878

:

Department of Interior, uh, on the

programs you put together, and then

879

:

cross pollinating with the other

departments, did you see, not just from

880

:

a development standpoint, but did you

see from an advancement standpoint?

881

:

Alex Tremble: Yeah.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

The number of, so what they have in

the federal government is called, um,

884

:

SCS CDPs, um, like senior executive

candidate development programs.

885

:

So basically, um, a department will

host one or potentially two of those

886

:

each year and not all departments

even have those, but in order to

887

:

become an executive, there's two ways.

888

:

There's the hard way.

889

:

And there's the SCS.

890

:

And I'll look at the

diversity within that, the S.

891

:

C.

892

:

S.

893

:

C.

894

:

D.

895

:

P.

896

:

within the next couple of years just

skyrocketed in the cool part about

897

:

it was it was the individuals who had

participated in the mentoring programs.

898

:

Who actually got into those programs.

899

:

And I'll say this, and this

is the quiet part out loud.

900

:

Most people, unfortunately, in the federal

government, look at those programs.

901

:

And we work in both federal and

private, but this is specifically for

902

:

the, the government, but I think the

same thing happened in the private.

903

:

Most people believe that in order

to get to that executive position,

904

:

they got to write a, have a really

great experience and they got

905

:

to write really great resumes.

906

:

But I, I've been behind the curtains.

907

:

I've, I've, I've worked

behind the curtains.

908

:

It's, it's, it's, it's horse trading.

909

:

I want this person in.

910

:

Okay.

911

:

If you want this person and I'll,

then I got to have this person in and

912

:

they're picking people's names off

of who they know, who they support,

913

:

who they trust to do, to do the job.

914

:

Well, that's how it happens in the

government as well in the private sector.

915

:

You just, like you said, at certain

level, they know you're qualified.

916

:

Right.

917

:

It's about who do I know?

918

:

Who do I trust to come in

here and do a good job?

919

:

Tony Tidbit: And that's in every, I

mean, if you were, you got hired as

920

:

a manager of a baseball team and they

already have coaches there, right?

921

:

Well, you want to do, you want

to bring your own people in.

922

:

All right.

923

:

You want to bring in people that

you trust that, you know, right.

924

:

And so that's in court.

925

:

I've not been at a place

where that has not happened.

926

:

Okay.

927

:

So.

928

:

Let's, let's shift a little bit, buddy.

929

:

I want to ask you a couple

pointed questions here.

930

:

Um, and I want to get your, your,

your, and I, you know, you've always

931

:

been a very authentic individual

as you are right here on the show.

932

:

Why is it that companies

struggle advancing people of

933

:

color at leadership positions?

934

:

You've worked with, you know, hundreds of

thousands, hundreds or thousands of people

935

:

of color, um, that are very qualified.

936

:

That, you know, are smart, um, they, they

have all the tools, they go through these

937

:

programs, they do this and that, but then

they, and, and I appreciate the, the,

938

:

the, the case study that you gave with

the government, but at the end of the

939

:

day, most is still nil in terms of the

people that actually end up moving up.

940

:

So what, and you work

with these companies.

941

:

Alex Tremble: So there's a few

things, um, the first, and here's my

942

:

perspective on life just really quickly.

943

:

I do believe that the vast

majority of people are good people.

944

:

Yep.

945

:

I agree with that.

946

:

And I think they're doing

the best they know how to do.

947

:

I don't know about that out there.

948

:

Well, no, I guess they know how to do.

949

:

Okay.

950

:

Okay.

951

:

But go ahead.

952

:

Go ahead.

953

:

You, I want to hear your thoughts.

954

:

I'm sorry, buddy.

955

:

And no, that's gets to my first point is

that it's the best they know how to do.

956

:

That means many of these organizations

just don't have the expertise.

957

:

Um, they, they think

they know what they know.

958

:

They think they got it right.

959

:

I can't tell.

960

:

I was, I was working with

an organization just.

961

:

A year and a half ago, and they were

having challenges with their diversity.

962

:

And I said, okay, great.

963

:

The first thing we're going to do

is we're going to develop, um, uh,

964

:

standardized interview questions.

965

:

And everybody, cause they don't have

no standardized interview questions.

966

:

They didn't have interview

process, none of that stuff.

967

:

And the CEO took me aside real quick.

968

:

Well, you know, I just, I just don't

think this will work for, you know, our,

969

:

our senior level positions, because,

you know, I'm really good at hiring.

970

:

I have a really good gut on who,

who should be in these roles.

971

:

And, but, but if you look

at who's in these roles,

972

:

Tony Tidbit: but what was his so,

so, but to be fair, His, his take is

973

:

a take that a lot of CEOs or people

in on senior level would say, right?

974

:

So what was his fear?

975

:

What was their fear?

976

:

Alex Tremble: Um, the, the, the,

the, the fear is the fear is loss

977

:

of control and not being able to

make the decision they want to make.

978

:

And I understand that, but

here's the reality is that

979

:

we all have unconscious bias.

980

:

And this is a reality.

981

:

All of us have bias.

982

:

Bias is not a good thing.

983

:

It's not a bad thing.

984

:

It is a thing that we all have.

985

:

Tony Tidbit: And so

986

:

Alex Tremble: the reality is that we

are, we like people who are like us.

987

:

Tony Tidbit: And

988

:

Alex Tremble: so even when you think

you are being fair, if I say, I think

989

:

people are, they want to do the best.

990

:

So even when they think they're

being fair, Hey, you know, that

991

:

person with the same school as me,

Hey, you know, that person, um,

992

:

they, they kind of look like me.

993

:

Oh, they have a kid just like me there.

994

:

You have a dog just like me.

995

:

Oh my like, this is what

happens all the time.

996

:

And this is why it's extremely important

to have standardized interview questions,

997

:

to have a, a, a process in place when it

comes to, you know, evaluating, what do

998

:

you, what do you say is successful or not?

999

:

Right.

:

00:47:49,740 --> 00:47:51,470

Because you're just

calling it by your gut.

:

00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:52,569

Your gut.

:

00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:56,610

It's likely wrong just

in regards to biases.

:

00:47:56,610 --> 00:47:56,930

Right.

:

00:47:57,270 --> 00:47:59,300

And so, but I'm going to talk

off the other side of my mouth.

:

00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:00,040

Okay.

:

00:48:00,340 --> 00:48:01,770

So here's the deal.

:

00:48:02,260 --> 00:48:07,660

Um, even as I, when I work, when we

work with organizations, we do our best

:

00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,919

to help them understand and identify

the biases they may have in their

:

00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:14,580

system so that we can correct for.

:

00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:17,260

That is what we do in organizations.

:

00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,440

When we work with

individuals is telling them.

:

00:48:21,100 --> 00:48:25,670

Hey, look, there are biases out there

that are probably working against you.

:

00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:26,730

This is being real.

:

00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:27,450

This is be real.

:

00:48:27,890 --> 00:48:33,030

So the question becomes, how do you create

biases in their mind that work for you?

:

00:48:34,310 --> 00:48:35,470

Tony Tidbit: So give me an example

:

00:48:35,470 --> 00:48:35,950

of that, buddy.

:

00:48:35,950 --> 00:48:36,995

Oh,

:

00:48:36,995 --> 00:48:40,020

Alex Tremble: but you and I know

we, you, we do this all the time.

:

00:48:40,270 --> 00:48:42,490

Um, Hey Tony.

:

00:48:42,740 --> 00:48:46,760

Hey, so, Hey, do you have, um,

you have kids, you have kids.

:

00:48:48,490 --> 00:48:48,700

Yeah.

:

00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:49,537

How many kids you have?

:

00:48:49,537 --> 00:48:49,604

Okay.

:

00:48:50,475 --> 00:48:51,265

I got three.

:

00:48:52,405 --> 00:48:54,355

Oh, boys, girls.

:

00:48:54,695 --> 00:48:54,945

Yeah.

:

00:48:54,945 --> 00:48:55,605

Three girls.

:

00:48:56,205 --> 00:48:57,365

Oh, that's crazy.

:

00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:59,875

So I, I, I have, I'm a boy.

:

00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:01,485

My boy just turns one tomorrow, you know?

:

00:49:01,824 --> 00:49:03,915

Um, I don't have any daughters.

:

00:49:03,915 --> 00:49:05,195

What was it like having daughters?

:

00:49:06,825 --> 00:49:08,655

Tony Tidbit: It's, it's

different than having boys.

:

00:49:08,655 --> 00:49:10,180

Alex Tremble: So

:

00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:14,515

Tony Tidbit: you're basically, is

this like, so are you just saying in

:

00:49:14,515 --> 00:49:18,445

terms of how to build a relationship

with somebody or stuff to that nature?

:

00:49:18,445 --> 00:49:18,475

Yeah.

:

00:49:19,020 --> 00:49:22,980

Alex Tremble: All it's about creating

an in group again, in groups are

:

00:49:22,980 --> 00:49:26,660

biases in groups are just that it means

that you and I have things in common.

:

00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,860

So how do I ask the right questions

to find places and spaces that

:

00:49:30,860 --> 00:49:31,990

were you and I have in common?

:

00:49:32,190 --> 00:49:36,489

So when you look at me and you look

at someone else, you say, Oh, shoot.

:

00:49:36,490 --> 00:49:36,690

Yeah.

:

00:49:36,690 --> 00:49:37,649

Alex has that little boy.

:

00:49:37,650 --> 00:49:39,410

That's all I need.

:

00:49:39,645 --> 00:49:43,375

God, many of those, and what you're

doing is it's a percentage game.

:

00:49:43,535 --> 00:49:48,984

If you can try a probability game, if you

can make enough connections one, yes, you

:

00:49:48,984 --> 00:49:52,795

should be good at what you do, but if you

can make enough connections, you slowly

:

00:49:52,804 --> 00:49:56,495

increase the probability that person's

going to go with you just simply because.

:

00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:01,000

Unconsciously, they like you more

and the reality is that most of

:

00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,510

us want to work with some we like

:

00:50:03,010 --> 00:50:04,360

Tony Tidbit: and that's

just the bottom line, right?

:

00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,000

And I just want to back up one thing

because I just want to make sure clear

:

00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,189

because we have this this climate today.

:

00:50:10,605 --> 00:50:16,185

That thinks that anybody who's,

you know, uh, black or a woman of

:

00:50:16,205 --> 00:50:20,055

color, they're getting promotions

based, they're not qualified.

:

00:50:20,465 --> 00:50:21,045

Okay.

:

00:50:21,335 --> 00:50:24,055

And they're getting promotions

based on a lack of merit.

:

00:50:24,224 --> 00:50:24,805

All right.

:

00:50:25,134 --> 00:50:26,925

And we know that's not true.

:

00:50:27,105 --> 00:50:27,615

Okay.

:

00:50:27,644 --> 00:50:31,015

But we, and we, I don't want to,

I want to stay where you're going,

:

00:50:31,025 --> 00:50:32,005

but I just want to make sure.

:

00:50:32,555 --> 00:50:38,235

At the audience knows because when we

say you, it's about who, you know, right?

:

00:50:38,265 --> 00:50:42,325

We're not saying that you can be

a bum or you, you've not qualified

:

00:50:42,575 --> 00:50:46,245

and you can still get a job because

you, you best friends with the CEO

:

00:50:46,295 --> 00:50:47,685

that no, that's not going to happen.

:

00:50:47,995 --> 00:50:49,285

You, that's a minimum,

:

00:50:49,335 --> 00:50:50,145

Alex Tremble: not for us though.

:

00:50:51,605 --> 00:50:52,205

Tony Tidbit: Exactly.

:

00:50:52,485 --> 00:50:54,495

That's the, I've seen it

happen, but not for us.

:

00:50:54,535 --> 00:50:56,445

The minimum is you're qualified.

:

00:50:56,475 --> 00:50:56,725

Right.

:

00:50:56,725 --> 00:50:58,075

And they know that, right.

:

00:50:58,095 --> 00:51:02,265

The key is to your point and what

you help people do is to be able

:

00:51:02,265 --> 00:51:04,085

to build those relationships.

:

00:51:04,314 --> 00:51:07,105

And you just talked about how, you

know, with the in group example

:

00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:08,965

that you just shared with us, right.

:

00:51:09,225 --> 00:51:12,005

Those things matter because

at the end of the day.

:

00:51:12,415 --> 00:51:15,105

People are going to hire

people that they like.

:

00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:17,795

And there's a negative to that too.

:

00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:18,265

Okay.

:

00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:21,455

If you mind me saying, right,

because I remember we did this

:

00:51:21,455 --> 00:51:24,324

exercise at a company I worked at.

:

00:51:24,335 --> 00:51:26,345

This was probably 10, 12 years ago.

:

00:51:26,715 --> 00:51:30,885

And we had a guy come in and

analyze, you know, everyone's team.

:

00:51:31,245 --> 00:51:34,915

And I met with him and he went through

my personality, blah, blah, blah.

:

00:51:34,915 --> 00:51:36,295

And then he met with everybody on my team.

:

00:51:36,545 --> 00:51:36,985

Okay.

:

00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:40,315

Then he came back to me and he

said, listen, you know, Tony,

:

00:51:40,315 --> 00:51:42,615

you're this way, this way, this

way, this way, which is great.

:

00:51:42,615 --> 00:51:43,215

Blah, blah, blah.

:

00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,620

But do you know that everybody's on

your team is this way, this day, this

:

00:51:46,620 --> 00:51:48,820

way, they're just like you, right?

:

00:51:49,030 --> 00:51:50,730

And that's why you get along with them.

:

00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,400

But the two, a couple of people that

you told me that you struggle with, that

:

00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,500

you hired, they're not like you, okay?

:

00:51:57,610 --> 00:51:59,889

And that's why you struggle with them.

:

00:51:59,909 --> 00:52:03,450

And it, and one of the things that

he taught us is that you don't

:

00:52:03,450 --> 00:52:06,945

want to hire people that are That's

just like you, because you're

:

00:52:06,945 --> 00:52:08,545

going to get the same output.

:

00:52:08,555 --> 00:52:09,875

You can get the same stuff.

:

00:52:10,185 --> 00:52:14,654

And when I, when I have the people that

were very detailed and very methodical

:

00:52:14,835 --> 00:52:17,324

and this, I struggle with them because

I'm like, bro, come on, what's up?

:

00:52:17,605 --> 00:52:19,694

You can't be, but that's

not how they process.

:

00:52:19,735 --> 00:52:22,395

And those individuals was just as good.

:

00:52:22,705 --> 00:52:25,405

And some even better than

the people just like me.

:

00:52:25,405 --> 00:52:29,945

And they were given a different

perspective that helped the whole team.

:

00:52:30,255 --> 00:52:33,935

So that's one of the other reasons why you

don't want to hire people just like you.

:

00:52:34,020 --> 00:52:36,670

Alex Tremble: I 100

percent agree with you.

:

00:52:36,860 --> 00:52:39,640

And again, this is why we have to

talk out of both sides of our mouth.

:

00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:40,040

Correct?

:

00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:44,329

Because from an organizational standpoint,

this is how we advise because this

:

00:52:44,329 --> 00:52:45,399

is the best way to do it, right?

:

00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,780

You don't want everyone like you do.

:

00:52:47,020 --> 00:52:50,890

You don't want to be utilizing biases

and so on and so on and so forth.

:

00:52:51,269 --> 00:52:52,874

But from an individual standpoint.

:

00:52:53,645 --> 00:52:56,635

I'm gonna be, I gotta be

real biases coming to play.

:

00:52:57,035 --> 00:53:02,704

So I'm going to, I told people, I

don't want to, I want every opportunity

:

00:53:02,704 --> 00:53:06,535

to get the, the offer and we, when

we work with our, with our executive

:

00:53:06,535 --> 00:53:11,074

clients, we, the, the, the, the point

is to get them as many offers as

:

00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:12,525

possible and they can make a choice.

:

00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,170

That that that's what we want.

:

00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,890

We want three, four office on the

table so they can say, you know

:

00:53:17,890 --> 00:53:19,260

what, I'm gonna pick this one.

:

00:53:19,670 --> 00:53:23,130

And so again, those are, but those

are due to different clients.

:

00:53:23,140 --> 00:53:23,490

Right.

:

00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:28,500

Um, and there's, there's something I

want to talk to you about today that

:

00:53:28,510 --> 00:53:30,860

I, I, I, no, we can go right to it,

:

00:53:30,860 --> 00:53:31,129

Tony Tidbit: buddy.

:

00:53:31,129 --> 00:53:34,120

I want to go into your, your, your

relationship model that you're,

:

00:53:34,130 --> 00:53:36,800

you're launching and stuff,

because that dovetails right

:

00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,050

into what we're talking about.

:

00:53:39,010 --> 00:53:41,030

Alex Tremble: So, so,

so, so I'm so excited.

:

00:53:41,039 --> 00:53:46,555

So, um, I have a new workbook, you

know, so the, the, the feedback

:

00:53:46,555 --> 00:53:49,875

that I received about the last

book, um, relationships that work,

:

00:53:50,225 --> 00:53:52,385

um, is that Alex, this is so great.

:

00:53:52,394 --> 00:53:53,345

It's so wonderful.

:

00:53:53,555 --> 00:53:54,754

I, it's amazing.

:

00:53:54,755 --> 00:53:59,615

I had, um, literally SVPs VPs contacting

me on LinkedIn saying, Hey, you just

:

00:53:59,615 --> 00:54:01,145

helped me connect with a billionaire.

:

00:54:01,164 --> 00:54:02,815

You helped me go to met

with a multimillionaire.

:

00:54:03,015 --> 00:54:03,965

I just got this new job.

:

00:54:04,765 --> 00:54:08,415

But you know, it would be really

great if there was a workbook,

:

00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:13,835

something to help me on a weekly

basis, make sure I'm making progress.

:

00:54:14,325 --> 00:54:15,375

I say, you know, you're right.

:

00:54:15,405 --> 00:54:15,635

Okay.

:

00:54:15,635 --> 00:54:18,425

So I'm going to create a

workbook, but there's a story

:

00:54:18,425 --> 00:54:19,905

behind why I ended up doing this.

:

00:54:19,915 --> 00:54:23,464

So a few months ago, I was hanging

out with some people, really good

:

00:54:23,464 --> 00:54:24,935

people, wonderful people, great people.

:

00:54:25,355 --> 00:54:28,015

Um, and we were wrapping

up, we're about to leave.

:

00:54:28,025 --> 00:54:32,480

And then as two of those people, my

friends of mine, um, we were We're,

:

00:54:32,590 --> 00:54:35,480

we're, we're talking on the side and

someone offered another person a job

:

00:54:36,110 --> 00:54:39,380

and he said, Hey, um, you know, you

want a job that someone, you know,

:

00:54:39,380 --> 00:54:40,659

they work at a big organization.

:

00:54:40,659 --> 00:54:43,590

They said, look, we'd love

to have you on me again.

:

00:54:43,590 --> 00:54:44,599

I'm completely joking.

:

00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,760

I'm my own business.

:

00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:47,950

I have no interest in working

for someone right now.

:

00:54:48,370 --> 00:54:49,865

Um, I said, what about me?

:

00:54:49,865 --> 00:54:50,745

What if I want a job?

:

00:54:51,185 --> 00:54:53,655

And they laughed and then

they kept it walking.

:

00:54:54,435 --> 00:54:55,145

And I was like, wow.

:

00:54:55,145 --> 00:54:55,545

Okay.

:

00:54:55,985 --> 00:54:58,775

So I thought about this as I was

driving home and I thought my best

:

00:54:58,775 --> 00:55:01,055

friend was there with me and we

were listening to talk about it.

:

00:55:01,055 --> 00:55:03,144

I said, yo, man, there's something

I want to share with you.

:

00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:08,104

I haven't, I haven't

said this out loud yet.

:

00:55:08,525 --> 00:55:09,795

I've been thinking about

the last few months.

:

00:55:09,795 --> 00:55:10,635

It's probably going to be raw.

:

00:55:10,645 --> 00:55:12,495

I hope you don't think bad of me.

:

00:55:12,495 --> 00:55:16,805

He said, no, I want to say, I said, man,

I think I need a new group of friends.

:

00:55:18,135 --> 00:55:19,344

He says, what do you mean?

:

00:55:19,344 --> 00:55:23,845

I said, well, you know, All the

executives I work with all the, the

:

00:55:23,845 --> 00:55:28,275

ones who've been super successful

earning their own companies and so on

:

00:55:28,275 --> 00:55:32,525

and so forth, they always talk about

how they have a good group of friends

:

00:55:32,854 --> 00:55:34,305

who they're just building each other.

:

00:55:34,695 --> 00:55:37,324

You hire me, I hire you, you

introduce me to this person, like

:

00:55:37,505 --> 00:55:40,194

everyone is winning and I said.

:

00:55:41,185 --> 00:55:45,815

You know, in this particular group, I've

invested a lot in them over the years.

:

00:55:45,825 --> 00:55:47,265

I've gotten them contract opportunities.

:

00:55:47,345 --> 00:55:51,104

I've gotten them introductions

to awesome people, but they've

:

00:55:51,115 --> 00:55:52,485

never actually helped me.

:

00:55:53,925 --> 00:55:56,265

And he was like, wow, he

actually said this thing.

:

00:55:56,265 --> 00:55:56,745

I really love.

:

00:55:56,745 --> 00:55:59,315

He said, you know, Alex, you

know, when we were younger,

:

00:56:01,495 --> 00:56:03,845

time was abundant, but money was scarce.

:

00:56:04,325 --> 00:56:05,194

So we just did whatever.

:

00:56:05,194 --> 00:56:05,514

Right.

:

00:56:05,915 --> 00:56:09,664

But now that we're older, time is

scarce and money is more abundant.

:

00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:12,374

And so we have to be very

intentional with our time.

:

00:56:12,374 --> 00:56:15,394

And we hang out with, I'll say, you know,

that's, that's, that's a great idea.

:

00:56:15,415 --> 00:56:18,155

So I started socializing this

idea when a number of my clients.

:

00:56:18,370 --> 00:56:22,020

Each and every one of them, CEOs,

SVPs, VPs, so on and so forth

:

00:56:22,070 --> 00:56:23,540

said, Alex, this is how I feel.

:

00:56:23,540 --> 00:56:25,320

I feel like I'm doing this alone.

:

00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,360

Like no one is helping me.

:

00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,260

So over a few conversations,

a few weeks of conversation, I

:

00:56:30,260 --> 00:56:32,100

developed this three, this model.

:

00:56:32,119 --> 00:56:34,599

I haven't come up with a great name

for it just yet, but it didn't come.

:

00:56:34,599 --> 00:56:37,529

So, um, there's, there's certainly

three types of relationships.

:

00:56:38,499 --> 00:56:40,990

First type of relationship are detractors.

:

00:56:41,610 --> 00:56:44,790

Um, detractors are people

who, um, intentionally or

:

00:56:44,850 --> 00:56:47,620

unintentionally, um, hurt you.

:

00:56:48,020 --> 00:56:51,760

Harm you detract from you, reading,

reaching your goals, those, they may

:

00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:55,750

be specifically talking bad about

you, but they may just be every time

:

00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:59,079

you want to do something, they say,

ah, you can't do that's too hard.

:

00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,929

Don't worry about, you know, people

who are detracting from your goals.

:

00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:02,706

Those are attractors.

:

00:57:02,706 --> 00:57:06,370

And unfortunately, way too many

people hang out with attractors

:

00:57:06,860 --> 00:57:09,010

and that's because, you know,

they've known him for too long.

:

00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,590

They've been my friend for this

or my family member, right?

:

00:57:12,075 --> 00:57:12,695

Detractors.

:

00:57:12,695 --> 00:57:13,495

I don't like those.

:

00:57:13,905 --> 00:57:14,195

Okay.

:

00:57:14,195 --> 00:57:15,285

Next one is supporters.

:

00:57:15,355 --> 00:57:16,605

Supporters are great.

:

00:57:16,615 --> 00:57:17,105

They're wonderful.

:

00:57:17,105 --> 00:57:17,505

They're nice.

:

00:57:17,505 --> 00:57:18,265

They're fun.

:

00:57:18,525 --> 00:57:19,375

They're your friends.

:

00:57:19,375 --> 00:57:22,574

They, you go out to drinks with,

you go on trips with, they're

:

00:57:22,574 --> 00:57:23,794

there for you emotionally.

:

00:57:23,795 --> 00:57:24,585

They're wonderful.

:

00:57:24,585 --> 00:57:25,315

Oh my goodness.

:

00:57:25,315 --> 00:57:26,435

I love me a supporter.

:

00:57:27,725 --> 00:57:28,725

But they don't help you.

:

00:57:29,615 --> 00:57:30,555

They stop short.

:

00:57:30,795 --> 00:57:35,715

They'll give you all the advice in the

world, but they stop short of helping you.

:

00:57:36,185 --> 00:57:40,185

And again, actually many mentors actually

fall into the group of supporters.

:

00:57:40,535 --> 00:57:42,485

And again, we have a lot.

:

00:57:42,495 --> 00:57:44,575

We tend to have a lot

of supporters around us.

:

00:57:44,745 --> 00:57:45,075

Why?

:

00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:45,775

Because it's easy.

:

00:57:45,775 --> 00:57:46,205

They're fun.

:

00:57:46,214 --> 00:57:46,955

They're wonderful people.

:

00:57:47,335 --> 00:57:51,215

Um, and then you had people

who advocate for you.

:

00:57:51,940 --> 00:57:55,590

Those people are intentionally

working to help you be successful.

:

00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:57,290

They are introducing you to people.

:

00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,340

They're, they're, they're

buying your services.

:

00:57:59,540 --> 00:58:02,469

They're telling their friends

to hire you to do, to do work

:

00:58:02,469 --> 00:58:03,970

for them and so on and so forth.

:

00:58:04,049 --> 00:58:04,940

Those are advocates.

:

00:58:05,049 --> 00:58:06,910

And those are just wonderful people.

:

00:58:07,169 --> 00:58:08,320

Um, but here's the reality.

:

00:58:08,340 --> 00:58:10,409

There are only so many advocates, right?

:

00:58:10,629 --> 00:58:15,870

There are so many, there are many more

people who'd rather just be a supporter.

:

00:58:16,595 --> 00:58:18,405

The navigator word is easy, right?

:

00:58:18,545 --> 00:58:20,895

I'm going to say, Hey, great job, Tony.

:

00:58:21,105 --> 00:58:22,805

I think you should do X, Y and Z.

:

00:58:22,805 --> 00:58:23,205

Tony.

:

00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:24,815

I don't got to put my name on line.

:

00:58:25,405 --> 00:58:26,845

I don't got to help you do nothing.

:

00:58:26,875 --> 00:58:28,185

I don't got to connect make connection.

:

00:58:28,445 --> 00:58:29,885

It's easy to be a supporter.

:

00:58:30,495 --> 00:58:33,685

Okay, so if we think about those

three groups, okay, got it.

:

00:58:34,095 --> 00:58:35,995

Obviously detractors not great.

:

00:58:36,144 --> 00:58:37,655

Okay, so let's put them off to the side.

:

00:58:37,985 --> 00:58:40,945

Let's talk about supporters

then and I'll wrap up.

:

00:58:40,945 --> 00:58:42,705

I know we're only have so much time.

:

00:58:43,095 --> 00:58:44,530

Um, Supporters.

:

00:58:44,750 --> 00:58:46,370

Well, why are people supporters?

:

00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:49,230

Well, one, the first reason is

because maybe we didn't ask them.

:

00:58:50,450 --> 00:58:52,789

We didn't ask them to

be an advocate for us.

:

00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,460

We didn't ask them for something.

:

00:58:54,669 --> 00:58:58,360

And many times if you're listening

to this, this podcast right now,

:

00:58:58,589 --> 00:59:01,069

you're probably one of those people

who people say, oh, you're that guy.

:

00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:01,609

You're that girl.

:

00:59:01,619 --> 00:59:02,109

You're that, that guy.

:

00:59:02,170 --> 00:59:03,710

You're that you're the ish, right?

:

00:59:03,820 --> 00:59:05,900

So people already think

you're doing so well.

:

00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:08,560

They don't even need, you

wouldn't need help from me.

:

00:59:09,540 --> 00:59:13,290

So maybe they're in a supporter role

because you've never asked them for help.

:

00:59:13,740 --> 00:59:17,480

And so when we have to be, when we go

into one, understand what we want to go,

:

00:59:17,490 --> 00:59:22,019

where we want to go, the internal clarity

and ask people for help, um, to, um, they

:

00:59:22,020 --> 00:59:27,310

may be a supporter because, uh, they see

you for who you were, not who you are.

:

00:59:28,490 --> 00:59:30,900

See, unfortunately, when we know

someone for a long period of

:

00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,159

time, they, they, they, they're.

:

00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:38,100

Their connection to us is anchored and

where we, where they met us, whether

:

00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:40,900

we were an intern at the time, or we

are director at the time, or we're

:

00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:44,620

the CEO of a smaller organization at

the time, but now we've advanced so

:

00:59:44,620 --> 00:59:47,110

far up, but they don't see us there.

:

00:59:47,110 --> 00:59:49,620

So, because they don't see us

there, they don't see you as.

:

00:59:49,950 --> 00:59:52,560

Tony, the executive, they say,

Tony, I'll ask Tony that my, my

:

00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:57,110

cool friend, we used to hang out to

intern together and so don't think of

:

00:59:57,180 --> 00:59:59,100

opportunities to connect you with that.

:

00:59:59,100 --> 01:00:01,460

When you ask them to connect with

someone, they don't think that you're

:

01:00:01,460 --> 01:00:05,110

even qualified to do something like that

because they don't see you in that role.

:

01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:06,930

That space really quickly.

:

01:00:06,930 --> 01:00:08,750

I'll share an interesting story.

:

01:00:08,979 --> 01:00:10,350

Oh, when am I someone I knew?

:

01:00:10,730 --> 01:00:12,110

Ask me, Hey, can you do Miss solid?

:

01:00:12,110 --> 01:00:15,180

I need you to come on the line with

one of my, my, my boss, my boss,

:

01:00:15,210 --> 01:00:17,880

the executive, I just need you to

talk to him about some products.

:

01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:18,500

I'm like, yeah, sure.

:

01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:20,660

I used to work from the jump line.

:

01:00:20,749 --> 01:00:22,900

Um, have a great conversation,

talk about change management,

:

01:00:22,900 --> 01:00:25,849

communication, internal, external,

all the things, human resource

:

01:00:25,879 --> 01:00:29,490

that, uh, get off the phone, person

picks up, calls me back immediately.

:

01:00:29,909 --> 01:00:30,489

Oh my God.

:

01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:32,590

That was, that was really good.

:

01:00:32,620 --> 01:00:34,050

You you're really good at this.

:

01:00:34,050 --> 01:00:38,465

And I said, Yeah, that's that's my job.

:

01:00:38,475 --> 01:00:39,205

That's what I do.

:

01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:44,135

Of course, because that

person did not see me as such.

:

01:00:44,315 --> 01:00:44,605

Right.

:

01:00:44,605 --> 01:00:44,915

Right.

:

01:00:44,944 --> 01:00:48,415

So they saw me for who

I was not for who I am.

:

01:00:49,095 --> 01:00:52,355

Then the finally the last piece

on the supporter piece is that.

:

01:00:54,225 --> 01:00:57,125

You know, maybe they weren't an

advocate at one point, you know,

:

01:00:57,125 --> 01:01:01,205

maybe they were, and the, but then

they transitioned to supporter and

:

01:01:01,205 --> 01:01:02,925

then they transitioned to detractor.

:

01:01:02,935 --> 01:01:03,295

Why?

:

01:01:03,465 --> 01:01:07,884

Because they were happy to help

you when they were superior and you

:

01:01:07,884 --> 01:01:09,105

were trying to move your way up.

:

01:01:09,615 --> 01:01:12,694

But once you became where

they were, Oh Lord help you.

:

01:01:12,695 --> 01:01:15,285

If you try to pass them

up, that don't look right.

:

01:01:15,525 --> 01:01:15,835

Right.

:

01:01:15,845 --> 01:01:18,185

So now they've, they've

moved from an advocate to a

:

01:01:18,185 --> 01:01:19,775

supporter now to a detractor.

:

01:01:19,775 --> 01:01:23,395

And here's the problem is that we

see some people that we think are

:

01:01:23,395 --> 01:01:28,675

supporters who are actually detractors

because if they have the means to help

:

01:01:28,734 --> 01:01:34,355

us out and they don't, and they don't

tell us why they didn't help us out.

:

01:01:34,574 --> 01:01:37,895

The question becomes, what

do they think about us?

:

01:01:38,545 --> 01:01:39,825

What do they truly think about?

:

01:01:39,965 --> 01:01:42,025

And what are they saying about

us when we're not in the room?

:

01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:42,820

Right.

:

01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,910

And so this is a big, big

thing I'm talking about.

:

01:01:46,010 --> 01:01:47,460

We can go on talking about

this for a long time.

:

01:01:47,650 --> 01:01:51,020

Again, if you'd love to hear more,

please reach out gpsleadership.

:

01:01:51,050 --> 01:01:51,409

com or.

:

01:01:51,610 --> 01:01:51,890

org.

:

01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:53,699

Um, bring this, bring us in.

:

01:01:53,700 --> 01:01:55,750

I'd love to talk to you about

this, but here's the point.

:

01:01:56,230 --> 01:02:00,749

If you are at these executive ranks,

um, and you want to navigate, you

:

01:02:00,750 --> 01:02:02,490

want life to be just that much easier.

:

01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:08,755

If you want to be at a, at a Make

movements and, and, and, and, and progress

:

01:02:08,775 --> 01:02:10,965

on your projects that much faster.

:

01:02:10,965 --> 01:02:13,455

Because again, time is

important at this level.

:

01:02:13,865 --> 01:02:16,434

It comes down to having the

right relationships, having

:

01:02:16,434 --> 01:02:17,834

more advocates around you.

:

01:02:18,045 --> 01:02:19,024

I'm going to say one last thing.

:

01:02:19,024 --> 01:02:19,635

I'm going to shut up.

:

01:02:19,984 --> 01:02:21,494

Um, here's the problem.

:

01:02:23,035 --> 01:02:26,394

Um, when I share this,

it's idea is so crazy.

:

01:02:26,424 --> 01:02:27,494

This is so interesting.

:

01:02:27,494 --> 01:02:31,654

Actually, when I share this concept

with people who are at the executive

:

01:02:31,654 --> 01:02:35,864

ranks, or at least the bare minimum, the

senior leadership ranks, they say, wow.

:

01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:37,710

This is really helpful.

:

01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:38,460

Okay.

:

01:02:38,460 --> 01:02:40,600

I know I need to be much more intentional.

:

01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:41,110

My time.

:

01:02:41,110 --> 01:02:41,420

Okay.

:

01:02:41,430 --> 01:02:41,880

I got this.

:

01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:42,670

Okay.

:

01:02:42,980 --> 01:02:47,699

Um, but when I share this concept with

people who are earlier on their career or

:

01:02:47,699 --> 01:02:53,230

in lower level positions, the first thing

they say is, uh, this doesn't feel right.

:

01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:54,699

No, no, no, no.

:

01:02:54,950 --> 01:02:58,279

So you pretend to those people are

more, those people aren't important.

:

01:02:58,288 --> 01:03:02,160

You're saying those, uh, no, I couldn't

imagine, you know, prioritizing

:

01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,759

my time with, with this person

versus that person as a whole.

:

01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:09,345

First of all, there's nothing

wrong with prioritizing your time.

:

01:03:09,945 --> 01:03:12,455

My wife and I have been

together for 17 years.

:

01:03:12,845 --> 01:03:15,975

We would not have been together for

17 years if I did not prioritize

:

01:03:15,985 --> 01:03:18,825

spending time with her versus

the barista at the Starbucks.

:

01:03:19,114 --> 01:03:19,454

Okay.

:

01:03:19,725 --> 01:03:23,825

So prioritizing your time is

always going to be important.

:

01:03:24,125 --> 01:03:26,644

The problem, I think, and

please, Tony, weigh in on this.

:

01:03:26,975 --> 01:03:33,075

I think the reason why many people at the

lower levels don't get this is because.

:

01:03:33,780 --> 01:03:40,790

The more success you have, the more your

time has to become valuable because you

:

01:03:40,790 --> 01:03:42,160

have more people asking you for stuff.

:

01:03:42,310 --> 01:03:45,000

So we maybe don't have enough

people in their life asking them.

:

01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:49,059

And like, just for me, like

the last few years, I had so

:

01:03:49,060 --> 01:03:50,210

many people reaching out to me.

:

01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,230

Even I have to prioritize.

:

01:03:52,780 --> 01:03:53,969

I can't call everybody back.

:

01:03:54,519 --> 01:03:57,150

I can't do every project with

everyone because I have other clients.

:

01:03:57,620 --> 01:03:58,900

Tony Tidbit: Right, right, right.

:

01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:00,410

But here's the thing though, bro.

:

01:04:00,950 --> 01:04:04,450

You know, one of the things, and we are

running out of time, but I want to get

:

01:04:04,460 --> 01:04:07,470

back to one thing I want to get, I want

to say something about everything you

:

01:04:07,470 --> 01:04:10,880

just got from saying, it's very important.

:

01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:12,939

Uh, I can see why you're very successful.

:

01:04:14,019 --> 01:04:16,120

Um, this is not a job for you.

:

01:04:16,429 --> 01:04:19,170

This is something that

you're passionate about.

:

01:04:19,179 --> 01:04:23,690

You believe in, you provide

your whole soul to it.

:

01:04:24,100 --> 01:04:29,710

And I can see why that any executive or,

or organization that has worked with you.

:

01:04:29,710 --> 01:04:35,154

Um, That they got everything out of

you because at the end of the day, Alex

:

01:04:35,154 --> 01:04:38,445

Tremble, CEO of GPS leadership solutions.

:

01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:43,570

Is going to do everything in his

power and then the company's power

:

01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:45,740

to help you become successful.

:

01:04:45,970 --> 01:04:49,840

So one of the things we want to hear

more and I want you to give us more.

:

01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:53,179

We're going to put your information

on the website, but I want to when

:

01:04:53,179 --> 01:04:54,889

you finish, we figure out the name.

:

01:04:55,399 --> 01:04:59,910

I want to get no more about your

relationship model because to be fair

:

01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,430

and we wasn't running out of time.

:

01:05:01,690 --> 01:05:03,960

We that is an area that people struggle.

:

01:05:04,270 --> 01:05:04,580

Okay.

:

01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:06,790

I've struggled in that area before, right?

:

01:05:07,050 --> 01:05:11,700

Because it's trying to understand

who you're dealing with, who's

:

01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:13,660

an advocate, who's a supporter.

:

01:05:13,810 --> 01:05:16,470

The detractors, I think

most people can get it.

:

01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:19,560

They, you know, but you still, sometimes

you think people are supporters

:

01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,729

and they're detractors, right?

:

01:05:21,810 --> 01:05:28,940

So, but more importantly, I want

to thank you for podcast and

:

01:05:28,940 --> 01:05:31,040

sharing your love, your passion.

:

01:05:31,365 --> 01:05:31,715

Right?

:

01:05:31,795 --> 01:05:36,965

Educating us on this topic, and we're

going to have you come back, and I

:

01:05:36,965 --> 01:05:40,924

want, uh, more importantly, to get your

information on your books, so we can put

:

01:05:40,924 --> 01:05:45,845

that up, um, especially the four C's,

I believe it was, uh, uh, am I correct?

:

01:05:46,215 --> 01:05:51,024

Um, so we can share it to people, so then

they can become more enlightened as well.

:

01:05:52,525 --> 01:05:53,095

Alex Tremble: Yes, sir.

:

01:05:54,015 --> 01:05:54,445

Tony Tidbit: Alex.

:

01:05:54,445 --> 01:05:55,505

Thanks a lot, buddy.

:

01:05:55,585 --> 01:05:59,215

And look, stick around because

Alex is going to help us close

:

01:05:59,215 --> 01:06:00,785

out with our call to action.

:

01:06:01,055 --> 01:06:04,745

But now I think it's

time for Tony's Tidbit.

:

01:06:04,785 --> 01:06:05,285

Okay.

:

01:06:05,285 --> 01:06:11,314

And the tidbit today is always a quote

based on what our guest is talking about.

:

01:06:11,545 --> 01:06:16,535

So the tidbit today is leadership

advancement means building not just a

:

01:06:16,535 --> 01:06:19,704

ladder, but a lattice of opportunity.

:

01:06:19,704 --> 01:06:22,310

The That anyone can climb.

:

01:06:22,620 --> 01:06:23,180

Okay.

:

01:06:23,220 --> 01:06:25,180

And you heard a lot of that today.

:

01:06:25,380 --> 01:06:28,440

That was one of, uh,

uh, Alex's pet peeves.

:

01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:30,160

It's not just about the development.

:

01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:33,320

It's about the advancement

opportunities as well.

:

01:06:33,538 --> 01:06:38,049

So don't forget to check out this

Thursday, our need to know segment by Dr.

:

01:06:38,049 --> 01:06:40,430

Nsenga uh, uh, uh, Burton.

:

01:06:40,690 --> 01:06:43,080

She's coming on A Black

Executive Perspective

:

01:06:43,325 --> 01:06:48,415

every Thursday going into the crucial

topics that shape our community and world.

:

01:06:48,665 --> 01:06:50,895

You do not want to miss it this Thursday.

:

01:06:51,035 --> 01:06:52,765

I've already seen what she put together.

:

01:06:52,975 --> 01:06:54,474

So definitely check it out.

:

01:06:55,385 --> 01:06:58,345

And now it's time for

our, our call to action.

:

01:06:58,795 --> 01:07:04,265

And I'm blessed that our fabulous

guest, Alex Tremble is going to

:

01:07:04,275 --> 01:07:05,805

help us with the call to action.

:

01:07:05,805 --> 01:07:07,795

And if you are, this is your

first time listening to a

:

01:07:07,795 --> 01:07:09,115

Black Executive Perspective.

:

01:07:09,555 --> 01:07:12,895

Our goal, our mission is to decrease.

:

01:07:13,385 --> 01:07:15,385

All forms of discrimination.

:

01:07:15,665 --> 01:07:21,994

So our call to action is an

acronym called less L E S S.

:

01:07:22,295 --> 01:07:26,625

And we're going to go through exactly

what less is, because this is something

:

01:07:26,845 --> 01:07:30,645

that every human being can incorporate.

:

01:07:30,705 --> 01:07:34,204

And by incorporating less,

we're going to make some change.

:

01:07:34,205 --> 01:07:34,985

So Alex,

:

01:07:34,995 --> 01:07:36,345

Alex Tremble: you want

to kick us off, buddy?

:

01:07:37,065 --> 01:07:37,565

Yes, sir.

:

01:07:37,605 --> 01:07:38,725

Let's start with L.

:

01:07:38,845 --> 01:07:40,305

L stands for learn.

:

01:07:40,575 --> 01:07:44,165

That is educate yourself on

racial and cultural nuances.

:

01:07:44,464 --> 01:07:48,575

And what I just recommend everyone

understand your, your ignorance,

:

01:07:48,755 --> 01:07:50,574

understand that you don't know everything.

:

01:07:50,575 --> 01:07:54,494

And so look to walk through the world

with an open mind, ready to learn

:

01:07:54,494 --> 01:07:56,575

and consume and just appreciate.

:

01:07:56,815 --> 01:07:57,325

Thank you.

:

01:07:57,605 --> 01:07:58,275

Exactly.

:

01:07:58,275 --> 01:07:59,154

And then E,

:

01:07:59,455 --> 01:08:03,045

Tony Tidbit: uh, after you learn

E stands for empathy, right?

:

01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:06,654

Since you've now become more enlightened

because you've learned more about other

:

01:08:06,654 --> 01:08:12,675

people and cultures and racial nuances,

now you should be more empathetic towards

:

01:08:12,675 --> 01:08:14,413

your new, your friends and family.

:

01:08:15,745 --> 01:08:16,295

Alex Tremble: Yes, sir.

:

01:08:16,314 --> 01:08:21,635

And S stands for share, share

your insights to enlighten others.

:

01:08:21,955 --> 01:08:26,115

You know, look, when others want

to know more about us, we shouldn't

:

01:08:26,145 --> 01:08:27,654

expect them to be at a mind read.

:

01:08:27,694 --> 01:08:30,645

Like we gotta be able to open

our mouths and actual share

:

01:08:30,675 --> 01:08:32,065

our authentic experiences.

:

01:08:32,304 --> 01:08:34,965

And hopefully they'll, they'll

accept it and they can grow as well.

:

01:08:35,545 --> 01:08:36,274

Tony Tidbit: Exactly.

:

01:08:36,274 --> 01:08:37,315

And then the final S.

:

01:08:37,765 --> 01:08:38,455

is stop.

:

01:08:38,965 --> 01:08:43,055

You want to stop all forms of

discrimination that walk in your path.

:

01:08:43,175 --> 01:08:49,154

So if grandma or grandpa or uncle Joe

or auntie Carol is at the dinner table

:

01:08:49,154 --> 01:08:53,815

and they say something inappropriate,

you say grandma, grandpa, uncle,

:

01:08:53,874 --> 01:08:56,044

auntie, we don't believe in that.

:

01:08:56,095 --> 01:08:57,225

We don't say that.

:

01:08:57,444 --> 01:08:59,684

And you stop it in your tracks.

:

01:08:59,694 --> 01:09:07,245

So if everyone can incorporate less L

E S S will build a more understanding.

:

01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:12,430

World, and more importantly,

we'll all be able to see the

:

01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:14,590

change that we want to see.

:

01:09:15,029 --> 01:09:19,510

So again, tune in to the next episode of

a Black Executive Perspective podcast,

:

01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:23,769

wherever you get your podcast and you

can follow us on all of our socials.

:

01:09:24,104 --> 01:09:30,365

Of LinkedIn X, YouTube, Instagram,

and Facebook at a black exact for our

:

01:09:30,365 --> 01:09:36,184

fabulous guests, Alex, the tremble

CEO of GPS leadership solutions

:

01:09:36,434 --> 01:09:40,694

for my man behind the glass police,

who's making all this happen.

:

01:09:40,964 --> 01:09:42,395

I'm Tony tidbit.

:

01:09:42,675 --> 01:09:43,863

We talked about it.

:

01:09:43,984 --> 01:09:44,874

I love you.

:

01:09:45,055 --> 01:09:45,805

And we're out

:

01:09:50,125 --> 01:09:52,565

BEP Narrator: A Black

Executive Perspective.

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