Join podcast host Tessa Lynne Alburn and guest Amy Blake as Amy shares her personal journey of healing and growth, starting from a difficult childhood marked by abuse and neglect. Amy emphasizes the importance of finding one's voice and the power of healing trauma and attachment wounds. 

Even with 35 years of experience as a psychotherapist, Amy also knew she needed support with voice coaching to become seen and heard. She encourages women to find their voices and bring their gifts to the world, and emphasizes the importance of being healthy and well-integrated in order to make a positive impact. 

Amy also provides some recommended resources for trauma healing and attachment wound healing, below. 

Check it out!

• The importance of individuals showing up authentically with power, compassion, and empathy for the world to thrive
• Amy describes her journey of reclaiming her voice, overcoming childhood trauma
• Amy’s transformation through voice coaching with Roger Love
• The significance of healthy, well-integrated individuals finding their voices and contributing to positive change in the world
• Additional resources for trauma healing 

About Amy Blake

Amy Blake is a dedicated practitioner who specializes in helping professional women and changemakers break through barriers and achieve deeper connections and greater influence. Amy firmly believes that the world needs individuals who show up authentically, with power, compassion and empathy. She is committed to sharing the pathways that support the healing, growth, and transformation necessary for humanity to thrive.

With over 35 years of experience as a psychotherapist specializing in couples and trauma work, Amy combines her areas of training and expertise to provide comprehensive support to her clients.

Connect with Amy

Receive Amy’s Free Gift https://unlockyourbrilliance.org/friend-of-tessa

Via Email: Amy[at]unlockyourbrilliance.org

Website: Unlock Your Brilliance

Therapeutic Resources: 

The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS) is a powerful therapeutic technique for healing attachment wounds and creating new neural networks.

https://www.dnmsinstitute.com/home/

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Learn more and find a practitioner at the EMDR Institute.  https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) has been recognized as an evidence-based treatment for psychological trauma and depression. Find a therapist and learn more here: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/evidence-based/

Free Attachment Quiz for Adults,  from Dr. Diane Poole Heller https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/

* About the Host *

Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.  

As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul! 

http://www.tessafreegift.com/

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May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Transcript

Tessa (00:21):

Hello there. Our guest today is a dedicated practitioner

who specializes in helping professional women and change makers breakthrough

barriers, and achieve deeper connections and greater influence. Her name is Amy

Blake, and I'm really honored to have her here today. Amy believes that the

world needs individuals who show up authentically with power, compassion, and

empathy. She's committed to sharing the pathways that support healing, growth

and transformation necessary for humanity to thrive. And with a passion for

supporting personal, relational, and professional success. Amy guides her

clients to tap into their inner resources, find their speaking voice, build

healthy relationships, and transform experiences of shame, isolation, and

trauma into sources of healing, joy and wholeness. I wanna welcome her here

today. Welcome to Say Yes to your soul, Amy.

Amy (01:25):

Thank you, Tessa. It's really wonderful to be here.

Tessa (01:29):

Oh, I'm so glad you could. It's been a pleasure to get

just getting to know you a little bit as we had meeting, you know, to before

this interview today, and hearing a little bit about your story. And, um, I

think what you, what you're gonna bring here today is gonna be really luscious

and inspiring. And, um, I am, I'd love for you to just take us on that journey

of your story around your voice, Amy.

Amy (02:01):

I would love to do that because for me it's an, it's an

amazing journey and I just wanna say to your listeners, whatever it is that

brings your soul on fire, that lights you up, there are pathways to helping you

achieve that and don't ever give up on yourself. For me, my journey really

started as all of ours do as a young child. And I had the fortunate

unfortunate, uh, experience of landing in a family that didn't do a really good

job of raising children. And I experienced abuse and I experienced neglect. I

have this belief that I actually picked, that I actually kind of put in my

order about what my soul's journey needed to be in order to learn how to love

and be loved in this world in big ways. And that's the family I landed in. And,

and it was challenging for me. And as I was thinking about, you know, really

sharing my story, I was thinking about how as a really young person I was doing

this art form. It's like a crayon etching where you put a lot of beautiful

colors on a piece of paper, and then you cover it all in black and then you

etch out a picture. Well, my picture was, that was etched the final product.

<laugh> was a, a black picture, and in the lower, I believe it was the

lower right hand corner, there was a little window with a little light, and

that was it. And that image has been a guiding light for me. Like, no matter

how dark it is, there's a little light that can guide you. There's a little

beacon that you can find and follow. So that, I just wanted to share that

because I was, I was thinking of it as I was thinking about this longer journey

of, of my story. So I really learned to not speak. I really, my nervous system,

my way of protecting myself was kind of, if nobody saw me, uh, that was a good

day. Like that was safety. I even in school, I would, uh, I would not raise my

hand when a teacher called on me just to like not have that visibility.

Tessa (04:28):

Hmm.

Amy (04:28):

So, as I grew, you know, I wanted to, I actually wanted to

do good things in the world. I wanted to have impact, and I was in such a place

of isolation, and I was in such a place of kind of shut down. And I went on to

college and I studied psychology and, and social work. And I, I had dreams

about doing big things in the world, but I kept tripping over the fact that I

had created such a strong defensive system around not being seen, not being

heard. So that when I was in a place where I finally wanted to be seen and

heard <laugh>, nobody could see me or hear me <laugh>.

Tessa (05:11):

Sure.

Amy (05:12):

Because it, it was, it was really quite amazing

<laugh>. I had some that really well.

Tessa (05:16):

Yes.

Amy (05:16):

Yeah. And so I, I really started on my journey of healing

and growth, you know, that, that idea, I mean, honestly, I wanted, I wanted to

really help people. I wanted to do something good in the world. But when I went

into social work school, I studied policy and planning, and I studied

geriatrics because I wanted to get as far away from my childhood and childhood

issues as I could possibly imagine. And it, and it was a really interesting

trajectory because the more that I did my own personal growth work, which I'll,

I'll talk a bit about, the more I came down the age spectrum of the

professional work that I did, <laugh> to the point that I actually was

working with foster children and kids that were at risk of being taken into

state custody for a while. And I came back up and landed in my sweet spot. I, I

love working with adults. I love working with people who are transforming

trauma, who are, um, I love working with couples and I love working with people

who are really on that edge of self-actualization and ready to take off in

their lives, and maybe are just bumping into those inner glass ceilings that

can hold us back.

Tessa (06:32):

That's really beautiful, Amy. I, I mean, I love that right

there you were, you were like, I have to get away from the whole childhood

thing, so I'm gonna choose this professional arena. That's the other end of the

spectrum. But the Right, the irony in many ways is that of course, to get

there, to be able to do that, you had to go back,

Amy (06:55):

Um, Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>

Tessa (06:56):

And look and work with others in their childhoods. And I

imagine that was pretty challenging at times.

Amy (07:07):

Absolutely. Yeah. My first job out of graduate school was

in the intensive care unit of a psychiatric hospital. So even though I studied

my minor was in interpersonal practice, but even though I studied policy and

planning, there were, there were forces that were gonna draw me into doing the

work that challenged me to my core and really called me to do what was

necessary for the healing and growth. And at first, I didn't know how I would

do that. I didn't know how, how was I gonna help people when I was struggling

so much. I had had childhood depression. I had, I didn't even know I was

anxious until my depression started to lift. And then I was a, a ball of

anxiety, but I had depression for 30 years before I could really do the work

that was necessary to help that begin to lift and, and just feel life in a

really different way. And of course, the PTSD symptoms, and it made it, it made

it really hard walking through the world, that's for sure.

Tessa (08:14):

Yes.

Amy (08:14):

In this job that I got, it was so interesting because I

saw people that reflected my story, and that would be, uh, like, why am I in

this chair as the professional helper, and why is this person in that chair as

the patient? And it was a really interesting reflection.

Tessa (08:37):

So tell us more about that. I mean, that's just even an

unusual awareness to have.

Amy (08:47):

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. I think as I, as I

reflect on that, Tessa, it's, it's this idea that, there's so much that we

don't know. Like, how do we end up in the places that we end up in? You know,

what, people can have lots and lots of financial, um, support and, and, and end

up homeless and, you know, addicted people can have other challenges and, and

kind of have some resiliency or some something that, that helps 'em be able to,

to make it through. There's a, there's a different driving force. I mean, I

always looked at that, that, that light, like there was a knowing inside of me

that I was gonna, I was going to make it, I was going to, um, be able to give

to the world in a, in a much bigger way than I, than I could imagine at that

point in time.

Tessa (09:58):

Can you share a little more about that?,

Amy (10:02):

Yeah. Yeah. So that piece is really around

Hello there. Our guest today is a dedicated practitioner who specializes in helping professional women and change makers breakthrough barriers, and achieve deeper connections and greater influence. Her name is Amy Blake, and I'm really honored to have her here today. Amy believes that the world needs individuals who show up authentically with power, compassion, and empathy. She's committed to sharing the pathways that support healing, growth and transformation necessary for humanity to thrive. And with a passion for supporting personal, relational, and professional success. Amy guides her clients to tap into their inner resources, find their speaking voice, build healthy relationships, and transform experiences of shame, isolation, and trauma into sources of healing, joy and wholeness. I wanna welcome her here today. Welcome to Say Yes to your soul, Amy.

Thank you, Tessa. It's really wonderful to be here.

Oh, I'm so glad you could. It's been a pleasure to get just getting to know you a little bit as we had meeting, you know, to before this interview today, and hearing a little bit about your story. And, um, I think what you, what you're gonna bring here today is gonna be really luscious and inspiring. And, um, I am, I'd love for you to just take us on that journey of your story around your voice, Amy.

I would love to do that because for me it's an, it's an amazing journey and I just wanna say to your listeners, whatever it is that brings your soul on fire, that lights you up, there are pathways to helping you achieve that and don't ever give up on yourself. For me, my journey really started as all of ours do as a young child. And I had the fortunate unfortunate, uh, experience of landing in a family that didn't do a really good job of raising children. And I experienced abuse and I experienced neglect. I have this belief that I actually picked, that I actually kind of put in my order about what my soul's journey needed to be in order to learn how to love and be loved in this world in big ways. And that's the family I landed in. And, and it was challenging for me. And as I was thinking about, you know, really sharing my story, I was thinking about how as a really young person I was doing this art form. It's like a crayon etching where you put a lot of beautiful colors on a piece of paper, and then you cover it all in black and then you etch out a picture. Well, my picture was, that was etched the final product. was a, a black picture, and in the lower, I believe it was the lower right hand corner, there was a little window with a little light, and that was it. And that image has been a guiding light for me. Like, no matter how dark it is, there's a little light that can guide you. There's a little beacon that you can find and follow. So that, I just wanted to share that because I was, I was thinking of it as I was thinking about this longer journey of, of my story. So I really learned to not speak. I really, my nervous system, my way of protecting myself was kind of, if nobody saw me, uh, that was a good day. Like that was safety. I even in school, I would, uh, I would not raise my hand when a teacher called on me just to like not have that visibility.

Hmm.

So, as I grew, you know, I wanted to, I actually wanted to do good things in the world. I wanted to have impact, and I was in such a place of isolation, and I was in such a place of kind of shut down. And I went on to college and I studied psychology and, and social work. And I, I had dreams about doing big things in the world, but I kept tripping over the fact that I had created such a strong defensive system around not being seen, not being heard. So that when I was in a place where I finally wanted to be seen and heard , nobody could see me or hear me .

Sure.

Because it, it was, it was really quite amazing . I had some that really well.

Yes.

Yeah. And so I, I really started on my journey of healing and growth, you know, that, that idea, I mean, honestly, I wanted, I wanted to really help people. I wanted to do something good in the world. But when I went into social work school, I studied policy and planning, and I studied geriatrics because I wanted to get as far away from my childhood and childhood issues as I could possibly imagine. And it, and it was a really interesting trajectory because the more that I did my own personal growth work, which I'll, I'll talk a bit about, the more I came down the age spectrum of the professional work that I did, to the point that I actually was working with foster children and kids that were at risk of being taken into state custody for a while. And I came back up and landed in my sweet spot. I, I love working with adults. I love working with people who are transforming trauma, who are, um, I love working with couples and I love working with people who are really on that edge of self-actualization and ready to take off in their lives, and maybe are just bumping into those inner glass ceilings that can hold us back.

That's really beautiful, Amy. I, I mean, I love that right there you were, you were like, I have to get away from the whole childhood thing, so I'm gonna choose this professional arena. That's the other end of the spectrum. But the Right, the irony in many ways is that of course, to get there, to be able to do that, you had to go back,

Um, Mm-Hmm.

And look and work with others in their childhoods. And I imagine that was pretty challenging at times.

Absolutely. Yeah. My first job out of graduate school was in the intensive care unit of a psychiatric hospital. So even though I studied my minor was in interpersonal practice, but even though I studied policy and planning, there were, there were forces that were gonna draw me into doing the work that challenged me to my core and really called me to do what was necessary for the healing and growth. And at first, I didn't know how I would do that. I didn't know how, how was I gonna help people when I was struggling so much. I had had childhood depression. I had, I didn't even know I was anxious until my depression started to lift. And then I was a, a ball of anxiety, but I had depression for 30 years before I could really do the work that was necessary to help that begin to lift and, and just feel life in a really different way. And of course, the PTSD symptoms, and it made it, it made it really hard walking through the world, that's for sure.

Yes.

In this job that I got, it was so interesting because I saw people that reflected my story, and that would be, uh, like, why am I in this chair as the professional helper, and why is this person in that chair as the patient? And it was a really interesting reflection.

So tell us more about that. I mean, that's just even an unusual awareness to have.

Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. I think as I, as I reflect on that, Tessa, it's, it's this idea that, there's so much that we don't know. Like, how do we end up in the places that we end up in? You know, what, people can have lots and lots of financial, um, support and, and, and end up homeless and, you know, addicted people can have other challenges and, and kind of have some resiliency or some something that, that helps 'em be able to, to make it through. There's a, there's a different driving force. I mean, I always looked at that, that, that light, like there was a knowing inside of me that I was gonna, I was going to make it, I was going to, um, be able to give to the world in a, in a much bigger way than I, than I could imagine at that point in time.

Can you share a little more about that?,

Yeah. Yeah. So that piece is really around this sense of coming into the world with a, with a, with a drive and an idea of a gift. Like, there's something inside of me that wants to be expressed. There's something inside of me that I wanna give to the world. I wanna help people not have pain. I wanna help families be healthy. I wanna help the world be healthy. I had no idea. I, I thought I would be a doctor. You know, I had no idea what form that would take, but there was this push to keep moving in the direction that was gonna help me do that. And whether that was through like, education. Um, but ultimately it was really through my healing path that helped me. 'cause I could have all the education in the world, but if I was bound up in depression and anxiety and trauma symptoms, I wasn't gonna be any good to anybody. Mm-Hmm.

, of course.

So one of the big pathways, like I really did a lot of study and exploration in the area of trauma, because that was the thing that was really holding me back. And what's so amazing to me now is that in the last, say 35, 40 years, there's been so much growth and development and understanding about neuroscience and what happens in the brain and the brain's plasticity, and how much we can change. When I was first coming up, I was learning like, oh, this is how the brain gets impacted by trauma. I'm, I'm in trouble. Like, I'm, I'm gonna be doomed. And that, and that was, it was years later that I learned, oh, no, I'm not doomed. There's, there's are opportunities to heal and grow, and my brain can transform. I can grow new neural networks. And that was freedom. That was freedom to be able to do that.

I imagine that must have been really, um, like what a, what a relief that must have been to you at that point.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think there's a real difference. I want your listeners to really understand too. There's a real difference between healing from trauma of the bad things that happen. We all know what kind of bad things that can happen to kids and to people. And those are traumatic episodes that if, um, a child doesn't get any soothing as a result or any help with processing, that, that gets stuck. And then we have that stuck trauma inside of us that keeps getting triggered. There's also unmet attachment w wounding un unmet attachment needs that, that create a wounding, that's a different kind of thing. And it's kind of that it creates that emotional black hole where it doesn't matter how much we get, it doesn't seem to quite fill us up. And there are thankfully, uh, there are processes, there are strategies for both working with trauma, which is to desensitize a person that's in a real broad brush.

We kind of like, we'll always know the thing happened, but we don't have to have the same reaction to it. But with attachment wounding, there's some beautiful processes to really help create resources that can help meet the needs of these, basically it's ego state, meaning child parts. So we're, we're actually working to heal those child parts inside of us, inside the adult body. And to be able to do that actually creates new neural networks that say, you got your needs met, and it creates a new foundation of stability that is like free, that's freedom. That's a huge amount of freedom when you've been thinking that you're, you're trying to find the answers outside of yourself. You're trying to find somebody or something that can meet those needs or, or help you in some way. And to realize that, that ultimately you actually can do that for yourself. So empowering.

Yes. Oh my goodness, this is so delicious today. Um, I, everything you're saying is just bringing me chills. And I am also like, sort of like having some of my experience in the same at the same time, right? Like recalling some of those bigger healing moments and some of the, that growth around the healing of the child parts, um, and, and holding that adult place at the same time, but something, okay. So you said something about, oh yeah, it's freedom. Like, and you're creating new neural networks because you've got your needs met, or it's, those things are connected. And I'd love for you if you could just highlight a little bit more about the getting one's needs met when we've got that child inside of us, and how do we, how do we do that and, and stay an adult at the same time? If you, if you can just expand on that a little bit. I know my listeners would heat that up.

I would, I would love to. Yeah. I felt really fortunate to find, uh, it's a therapeutic technique called the developmental Needs Meeting strategy, which is designed specifically for healing attachment wounding. And as I do, as I learn about something, then I have to go and do it for myself. And I'm actually a trainer of other clinicians in this strategy. But it's really about tapping into who you are in your most adult caregiving, loving, compassionate, empathic self, and creating a resource, you know, like, like me as the social worker. Or it could be a person as a, their dog lover self and how, you know, so it's like we're bottling the best of the best of who you are in these different relationships. And, and then we're able to utilize that to meet the needs of child parts. And, and the child parts get to tell their story.

They get to, it's a, it's more than I can go into here, but they basically get all the validation and empathy that they could ever want and wouldn't even realize that they needed. And in that way, they, the, the work is to get that part unstuck from the past, to help that part understand that he or she, or they are in an adult body now and they have more power than they ever had back then when they were a child. And what they've been reacting to is just an old recording that that old event is over, it's not happening anymore, and they've just been reacting to a painful recording. And that, that is a step in helping those parts get unstuck from the past and really getting connected with resources. And there's a spiritual core resource that we also develop. So there's caregiving resources and, and a spiritual resource that are, make a really powerful team for getting parts unstuck and helping them get their needs met and heal ultimately. And I've found that to be a game changer in my work.

Absolutely.

And in my own life, personally.

, yes. You know, I've done a little bit of this work, I should say, I immersed myself in it for a while. Um, and one of the, sort of the perspectives that I came to understand as you were talking about, like, the, the child doesn't know that it's not happening, right? They're just hearing that recording and, and getting triggered by it and feeling powerless or hopeless, et cetera. But the, that, when we do this healing process, we're, we're creating the new neural networks. And one of the things that I appreciated that my mentor taught me was, it was almost like giving yourself a new blueprint, right?

Mm-Hmm. ,

Like now we have choices. We don't, we're not stuck with the old choices anymore. We have options to operate. It's like having a whole upgrade to our personal operating system when we have new neural networks.

It is, it is. And I think there's also, there's this piece around healing. We're all familiar with, oh, we need to heal, but we also need to grow because developmentally, if we didn't get supported in our developmental growth, then there's, there's some stuckness there. And that might include learning new skills. It might include challenging ourselves. And for me, this, this is a nice segue into what I, I wanted to share also about my voice journey, because that is one of the me not having a voice and then being at the stage in my career where I wanna do bigger work. I wanna reach more people, I wanna do online programming, that kind of thing.

Mm-Hmm.

and being terrified of being in front of a camera, being choking up so much that I, I have to read my name from a piece of paper because there's just this dissociation from my thinking brain.

And part of me that's reacting. And I had the good fortune of meeting Roger Love, who's an amazing voice coach. And I joined his programs and really worked with him. And it was torturous. I would cry , I'd be like, I can't do this. My voice was really monotone and it was really weak, and I choked on it. And when I talked, the most important thing that I wanted to say, I would, it would be like, I would swallow the word. And so I had no impact. People would talk over top of me. People would not even know I was, you know, in the room. And so that being and understanding that there was something stuck in my throat, I also was doing a lot of work on that chakra area, and I experienced some really amazing release there. And with that release, the range of my voice, I could have more melody in my voice.

I, I left them, I can still go pretty monotone, but I, I left that behind. And I, I started having more resonance in my, I started getting feedback from people like, oh, I like the sound of your voice. It's really nice. And, which was amazing to me to get that feedback.

Mm-Hmm. .

And, and I noticed, people noticed me noticing me. 'cause this was during the pandemic, and I was working online, and I was like, wow, people are paying attention to me in a different way. And this is my clients. Or if I was in a group, uh, training or something, and I spoke, and that, that was powerful because I was so used to people not noticing me. And so being able to learn the skills necessary to improve my speaking voice and to understand I'm not just stuck with the voice I was born with.

To me, that was a, that was development, that was a developmental, uh, piece that I really needed. And I think that's one of the things that happens for a lot of us is we think, okay, we got what we got. We're kind of stuck with it. That's it. You know, this is, this is the cards I was dealt. But there's this whole, when, when you, we talk about opening to possibilities, just because we need to learn things doesn't mean that we are stupid. It just means like, there was an area that we didn't get access to. There was an area that nobody helped us with. And, and, and we can take that on, and then we can grow and develop in, in lots and lots of different ways. So for me, the, the voice coaching transformation helped my, it helped me in so many ways. I told my voice coach, I said, this was like 10 years of psychotherapy this really helped release the last vestiges of trauma that I've been dealing with. And I can be visible and I can be safe, boom. Like , I can be visible and I can be safe that I had never experienced before in my life. But that, that was the amazing piece to me.

That is amazing, Amy. And that just gives me chills. And I, oh my goodness. And I think about like, how many women are staying small, you know, and staying invisible and isolating because they're not feeling safe yet. And they really, they need to know. I mean, I love that you're here today, bringing this message forward in a beautiful way. You know that it's not over. That you, there is hope and you one can do that healing work with the, you know, the right focus and the right mentor or therapist such as yourself. It's been easy for women to stay small and not push things, or not put themselves out there. I mean, you chose to go take lessons and it was really hard and you had to commit to that, right? You, I did. You stuck through it. Yeah. And you say, oh my gosh, I'm gonna work through the tears and I'm gonna work through this and that, and the fear.

And when we do that, and we come out the other side, and sometimes it's in a moment, like, we have this glimpse into other possibilities. We look through that window in the dark, and it's like, I had no idea. Like, I can actually do this. I know that all women have a voice. They have something that they're here to bring, a gift to bring to the world, to their communities. Whether it's on a community scale, a familial scale, or a global scale, everyone's voice matters. And I'm a fan. , let's get more women out there. Like, in order to bring balance, I think and, and care to our world in the right ways, we have to find our voices more and more. And we have to start using them in ways that can be heard and can be received. And I can, I can tell like you're, um, you know, if I didn't know your story and I was just listening to you, I'd be like, oh my gosh, that woman's been a speaker for 40 years. .

Well, thank you.

Yeah, I can hear it. I can hear the tones. Right. And the resonances and the richness and the connection that you're having as you speak, the connection to your own heart and soul.

Yeah. Oh, thank you. I wanted to comment on something that you were saying about, you know, it's so important that women find their voice and bring their voice into the world. And I will add another layer to that, that I am really dedicated to. I want healthy, well-integrated people finding their voice. 'cause we've got a lot of loud voices in the world. They're, they don't all belong to women. I know. But we, we don't need more angry voices in the world. We need, we need people who are grounded, who are solid, who've done their healing, who are moving in that direction of self-actualization to bring those gifts to the world.

Yes.

That's what I'm dedicated to creating and voices that is a crucial component of that.

It is our, our ability to respond and the voice, those two together, our, are really where the magic is. Right. Being responsive and non-reactive or, or activating, um we want to, I think the, the, the gift in the feminine, uh, is to create relationship and support through our energy, through our being, through our heart, through our listening and our empathy. And to, to be in that place. These things are required. Groundedness, I love what you said, being healthy. Right? Uh, he and doing the healing work.

Mm-Hmm. . Having that congruence from the, from the top down, from the bottom up, from the inside out, like that to me is the feminine path.

Yes.

That we're, we're healthy in our relationships. We're healthy as parents, and we're healthy out in the world. That to me is what's gonna change the world. That's what's gonna save the world.

Hmm. Yes, indeed. So, Amy, if you have, if somebody were listening today, some of the listeners, like, they're going, well, yeah, I've got trauma. I know I've got these issues. I get triggered. Where do I start? Like, what would you suggest to them?

Mm-Hmm. . Well, as you were saying, finding a trusted, whether it's a therapist, a coach, a mentor, it's, so much of this work is about tapping into the unconscious. 'cause our, we are amazing beings and how we survive these, these difficult childhoods and difficult experiences we split off.

Yes.

And so we, we need somebody outside of ourselves to know ourself fully. And so that's why it's not possible to fully, I'm not, you're saying you can't do anything by yourself, but to fully do this level of healing and growth, it really takes connection with somebody outside of yourself,

Connection and trust and commitment to that connection.

Mm-Hmm. . Correct.

Do you have a resource you could recommend or that we can put into the show notes for folks?

There are so many. Um, there are a lot of resources on trauma. Uh, the, the, probably the most powerful, popular, well-known approach is called EMDR. And there's an organization, if you just Google EMDR, you'll find practitioners. You'll find information about trauma and trauma healing. The developmental needs meeting strategy. I would send you to the website, DNMS as in D for dog, DN as in Nancy, M as in Mary, S as in Sam, dnmsinstitute.com. And there's some resources for people looking into that idea of healing attachment wounding. And I think that's a powerful, powerful approach.

I love that. Yes. And that's something that I've seen show up in a lot of people's journeys as they're healing. And, um, to have those resources would be fantastic. Thank you.

Mm-Hmm. . You're welcome.

So I would like, I have one last question for you before we have you, um, share how everyone can connect with you. I'd like to know, how does this connect to your soul for you?

Good question. How this connects to my soul is that, my soul comes into so much of what I do, the work that I do, that there's, there's not a lot of difference between who I am and what I do. And it feels like there's a, there's a deep integration. I do deep soul work when I'm, when I'm working with people. And I honestly, I need to bring myself more as I think many women do into that circle of care and, uh, and really nourish my soul, uh, separate from the work I do

Absolutely, So for you, you feel really quite integrated, like everything that you're doing is so work to you. And if you, if you could imagine like there being another level of growth for you, what might that look like?

I think it ha it is in the arena of still my voice and reaching bigger audiences, holding, holding my, uh, holding my knowledge and my awareness and knowing that I'm enough. I still struggle sometimes with enoughness. And so, yeah, I think that there, there still are many, many growth paths for me. I think I still get triggered. I think I still, you know, if I'm tired, hungry, what, you know, all of those things, I can , I can, um, not be a happy camper. And I think in the area of taking care of my body, there's some growth around what's it, what is it that I believe about myself, that I find it hard to truly take care of my body and the way that I know I can, and that my body would be really happy with me if I did. Hmm. So, yeah, I think there's always growth. I, I certainly am on the path. I've, I've done a lot and I'm really happy with how far I've come. I would've honestly never imagined it when I was a kid. And I can see the trajectory moves forward. I think there's always aspects of ourself that, um, are perfect and there's room for improvement, I would say.

Yes. Oh my gosh, I love it. And I really appreciate that, uh, your vulnerability and your honesty in sharing what you just shared about your own journey going forward. And I, I mean, I'm like, oh my gosh, you'd be amazing in front of larger audiences, bigger, bigger, you know, whatever those stages are. And now there's, there's so few limitations, right? You can be talking across the world in moments and, um, or split seconds and reaching exactly those people you are here to support. And I'm, I'm just super grateful that you've been here today. I'd love for you to share with our listeners how they can get in contact with you.

Yes. Well, you can reach me directly through my email. It's amy@unlockyourbrilliance.org.

Great.

And there's a gift for you as well. Do you want me to share that?

Yes, please.

Okay. So the gift address, you can go directly to unlock your brilliance.org/friendoftessa. And I have a gift for you there.

Fantastic. I, I welcome everybody. Check that out. Amy is amazing. You can tell she's done her work. She is intelligent. It's just been so beautiful to have you here today, Amy, and hear part of your story, but also just like really glean even more from your rich, um, cache of wisdom. I am super thrilled that you've been able to share today with my audience and I, I wanna wish you all the best going forward.

Thank you, Tessa. This has been an absolute delight and I'm so happy if sharing my story can help others. I'm more than happy to do it. It's been wonderful to meet you and to be a part of your program.

Thank you. Alright, everyone b lessings to you. Much light. Keep looking for that light, that window. If you're not feeling it or seeing it, know that it is there and you too can have the life of your dreams. Bye-Bye for now.