CEO and Founder of Dream University, Marcia Wieder, explains the difference between dreams, fantasies, and goals, the value of realism in dreaming, how intention and integrity work together, breaking down big dreams into small projects, separating dreams from doubts, the 3 little words that breed self-sabotage, and why you should want to be PIE (passionate, interested, excited, not the baked good).
I have always believed in the power of dreams, and today we have for you a dream expert. I mean, she is the founder of Dream University and the CEO. Her name is Marcia Wieder. She kind of has this seminal book that she is putting together that it's called "Dream, Clarify and Create What You Want". So Marcia, welcome to the show.
Marcia Wieder:Hi. It's great to be here with a fellow visionary.
Host:It's interesting, because when people think of dreams, I think they immediately go to sort of soft, like, Oh, it's a real soft skill. Can you tell me the difference between a dream a goal, their fantasies? Can you kind of talk about the difference between those and and do you think of it as soft, or do you think of it as as kind of a practical skill?
Marcia Wieder:What a perfect place to start. What I have discovered is that without the inner work, the outer doesn't without doing the inner work of clarifying what you want, removing fears and doubts, getting strategic. You know, we don't really see real solid outer world results. Most people compromise their dreams and vision down to what they realistically think is possible, and it can be very, very limiting. So I would say that in business, dreaming is serious business. It's the driving force for transformation, and without our vision and our goals, life can become routine, and their businesses can become stagnant. So for me, a dream at a simple level, is something that you want. And the distinction between a dream and a fantasy like winning the lottery is that in a dream, you can actually design a strategy for getting there. In a fantasy, there's not much that you can do to make it happen. And it's an interesting thing, because if we never go to strategy, the dream just
Marcia Wieder:remains a nice idea, however, and I see this a lot in organizations, if we go to strategy too early or too quickly, we wind up compromising the dream down to what we realistically think is possible, or based on how much we have in the budget. So the work that I do is about getting people to open to bigger possibility, opening their minds, showing them that where dreams come from is that you make them up, and then you have to put the strategy behind it to get into action. Otherwise it's just a fantasy. And you know, those people give us people a bad rap, because it's not enough to be talking about your dream or thinking about it or dreaming about it, you have to do something about it.
Host:So then would goals be sort of a series of checkpoints towards a dream?
Marcia Wieder:That's the perfect way. I, you know, somebody smarter than me once said that a goal is a wish with a deadline, which I thought was, was really good, but it just Yes, that's, I think the goals are the measurable results. Sometimes we talk about projects. I mean, we're big dreams or long term dreams die is when somebody just, you know, plops them onto a to do list. So, you know, write a book double my sales team open to another location. These things need to be broken down into projects and goals and strategies. And I think this point that we go to strategies so quickly, right? We get an idea, and then, you know, the realist in US wants to know where you're going to get the time, where you're going to get the money. And you know, we have to have plans and strategies. But again, if we go there right out of the chute, I just see people compromise their dreams so quickly, as opposed to wait a minute. Let's not go to strategy yet. Let's focus on what do we want,
Marcia Wieder:and why do we want it, and what's important, and what else would have this really be a compelling and a profound and a successful dream. Let's put everything in that we want, leave out what we don't want, and then design the strategy and the plan for getting to what we really want.
Host:How do we break free of that? Those of us that are the analyticals, the skepticals. We're not, we're not the dreamers. What do we do to kind of like, break through that barrier?
Marcia Wieder:Well, reality is an important part of the mix, but the question is, what has being realistic cost you? If you're overly realistic, it could squelch your passion. It can compromise the dream. It can cost you. To, you know, your excitement about what you're doing, but also, the world doesn't need another, you know, another thing, majiggy, you know, the idea of us being open to dreaming is, you know, and using that creativity for real world results, I think, is the is the winning formula. So, you know, for me, anytime you're wanting to change a behavior or develop a new skill, it requires some kind of a practice, a personal practice. So when we want new muscles in our body, we go to the gym and we exercise. When we want deeper peace or contemplation, we meditate for 20 minutes a day. Some of us, you know. So the question is, what is it you're trying to build? So I think for most entrepreneurs that you know, I think the muscle we're wanting to develop is the
Marcia Wieder:ability to take risks, which comes from our ability to trust ourselves. And I feel that that comes from a very core and fundamental process for dreaming has to do with integrity, right? So a lot of people talk about, I'm going to put two concepts together here, very briefly. People talk about intention. Intention is the rudder that steers the course of our life, but without intention, without integrity, intention can be just a lot of lip service. So intention and integrity, getting clear about what you want to do or what you want to develop or who you want to become, is, you know, has to be married with what are you doing to demonstrate that you're serious about that, not just talking about it. So this idea of intention and integrity, keeping your word, keeping your agreement with yourself and others, I find, develops greater muscle and capacity for trusting myself more, and that allows me to take greater risks. And what I find is that when people don't have the ability to
Marcia Wieder:take risks because they don't trust themselves, or don't trust life, or don't trust you know the crazy, uncertain times that we're living in right now, which, on one hand, it makes sense not to trust it, but on the other hand, I feel like that's one of the big limiters for us. So the more that I can say, Okay, I walk my talk, I keep my agreements with myself and myself and others. I do what I say I'm going to do that helps me trust myself more fully, and then that allows me to open up to you know, I think I will take this risk, or you know this, because visionaries know there are no promises, no guarantees, no assurances, but it's up to us to demonstrate that we're more committed to our dream than we are to any doubt, fear or reality that might get in the way, and the only way to demonstrate it is through the action that we're taking or not taking. So you take a big dream, you break it down into a short term project, maybe a month or less, because a month is a short
Marcia Wieder:enough period of time to see a real result. We need results to stay motivated, but a long enough, I'd say, a long enough period of time rather, to see a real result, but a short enough period of time to stay passionate, interested and excited in it. So we take the big dream, we break it down into projects. We demonstrate we're serious about it by taking action on it. And the long term benefit of all of that is, oh, I can dream dreams, because where dreams come from is you make them up. Some of them are based on need, like putting food on the table or working your team toward a measurable goal. Some of them are based on desire, like writing a best selling book or traveling the world. And then finally, the dreams that are the most profound are usually an expression of your purpose or your organization's mission or vision, and those are the ones that are usually the meatiest and the most profound and the most important. So I just threw out 20 concepts. Sorry about
Marcia Wieder:that.
Host:I've never associated until right this second, like integrity is what makes intention the reality. And I guess that is why it's hard for people to believe in dreams. Is if you don't believe in your dream, to an extent, you're saying you don't believe in yourself, you don't believe in your own ability to take action.
Marcia Wieder:Beautifully said. So the question, how do we develop greater self trust? And at a simple level, it's about making and keeping our agreements. Now, what I have found, and I see this a lot in business, is that people were like, well, then I'm not going to make a big promise, because then I'm going to have to do it. And that actually is where the rubber meets the road. A lot of people don't even know what they want anymore. You know, we're so mired in reality and so busy living from our clocks and calendars, we may not even know what our dreams are, much less how to come accomplish them. So a lot of people, you know, we stay well, first of all, we're so mired in reality, we don't even take the time to stop and feel what do I want? What's really important to me? And then the second is, am. Going to declare it out loud, because once I do, you know, I'm a person of integrity, I try to keep my agreements, but once I put it out there, I'm going to have to do
Marcia Wieder:something about it. And coaching has become like a multi billion dollar industry, because people are much more likely to do something when they tell you that they're going to do it. People don't love this concept of intention and integrity, because it's a little it's challenging and it's confronting, but it builds muscle, it builds character. And if you tell me what your intention is, we can just look at your life and see, are you in integrity with that intention? You know? And there's intentions, like goals, I want to write a book, or I want to make more money. But there's also intentions for the quality of the person you want to be, the values of your company and your organization, the caliber of you know, do you want to be known as a world class organization? And if yes, what does that look like? And what needs to happen? What do we need to do more of, and what do we need to do less of in order to up that relationship between intention and integrity, I would go
Marcia Wieder:so far to say that that, to me, is the fundamental key to manifestation this combination of intention and integrity. And are we living at cross purposes, saying one thing and doing another. Or are we doing our best to really live in alignment with those two principles?
Host:So I want to talk about self sabotage. So why do people do this? What exactly is self sabotage? How does it happen? When does it happen, and what do we do about it?
Marcia Wieder:Yeah, well, so the number one way that we sabotage our dreams, and I'm using the word dream and vision very interchangeably. Here, in some corporate environments, they like to talk more about vision. Some places love the idea of dream, but we're not talking about something soft and mushy. Here. We're talking about really accomplishing what's important to us. So the number one way that people sabotage their dreams or goals or vision is by projecting their fears and doubts into the dream. They do it with three simple words, but what if? But what if we go for this new idea and it bombs so what if we launch this new product or service and it doesn't fulfill our expectations. But what if I move to a new city or location, you know, and then fall short? So the secret here is that we have to separate out your dreams from your doubts. It's an interesting thing. I jokingly would say that, you know, if you have not dealt with your own doubt and you meet another doubter on
Marcia Wieder:the road, their doubt will magnify yours. But if you've dealt with your own doubt and you meet another doubter on the road, a team member, a family member, etc, by contrast, it's the opportunity to deepen your commitment and your conviction to your dream, when you can develop the ability to talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace, about what you're doing, your products, your services, your offering, your ideas, your dreams, in a way that inspires them to join you. Now you're tapped into the secret to manifestation, and we can come back to that in just a second. So if we turn we have lots of different parts inside of us. We have a leader, a visionary, an adolescent, a child, a king, a queen, lots of archetypes. We have all different parts inside of us, and the question is, who's driving and who's leading the campaign at any given moment. So we have a dreamer that says, Yes, I can, and even a visionary, the visionary tends not to worry too much about strategy. They're just,
Marcia Wieder:you know, big vision, big ideas, and then they have other parts or other people that can implement right? But we have a dreamer that says, Yes, I can, and we have a doubter that says, No, you can't. Well, if you turn the voice of the doubter down, it becomes the realist. And as we said earlier, the realist wants to know what's the plan. But if you go to that realist too soon, you'll compromise the dream down before you've ever even fully explored the possibilities. So we want to hear from the doubter. Believe it or not, it's not the enemy, your doubter or the doubts inside of you will give you your list of obstacles. And every obstacle is either a belief, something you believe about yourself, your dream, your business, the world, or other people, or something that requires a strategy or a plan. So I would say that wherever there's an obstacle, we can design a strategy to manage it. Now, the idea of not compromising your dream down and sharing your dream is one of my
Marcia Wieder:favorite topics, because I believe in order to master manifestation, the ability to make stuff happen, you must master the skill of enrollment. Enrollment different than selling, although. Has a selling component to it is when you share your vision or ideas in a way that inspires other people to join you, to help you, to hire you, to invest in you. The obstacle called not enough money often disappears when you're able to inspire people to join you or even invest in you. So the simple approach is, you know, we have to establish rapport. People have to like you and trust you. We have to build value. What's so great about what you're doing or offering? We overcome objections by doing more of one and two, more rapport and more value. And step number four, we secure an agreement. What next step are we going to take together the people that I found who are the most masterful at enrollment are the people who connect to what they care about. They communicated clearly with
Marcia Wieder:context and value, succinctly but clearly, and then they make a compelling invitation for people to join them. And when you really become masterful, and it's something that I've been teaching for a long time. You know, I was Jack cancels coach. I was Jack's coach for many years. He put me on his stage at his train the trainer program to teach this skill of enrollment, because different than selling, it's an opportunity to inspire people to help you, to join you, or to invest in you. But when you don't believe, let's go back to that for a second. When you don't believe in your dream or your idea, nobody else will either. And at the end of the day, people know that you believe in it because you're doing something about it, which then takes us back to this integrity practice. So it's an interesting thing. It morphs together. But there's a, you know, there's a very specific process and methodology. People can learn to trust themselves more deeply. We can learn to take
Marcia Wieder:greater risks. We can become masterful at enrollment. We can catch ourselves in the act when the doubter has hijacked our dreams. You know, it's a beautiful thing when your ego is in service to your soul, as opposed to your ego hijacking your soul and telling you that what you're doing is a bad idea. You know, I believe that we were created to create and that it's our God given birth right to create and live a life of joy, love and abundance. I believe that we live by example, so as we model that we do have dreams, and we're moving forward on these dreams that inspires other people to do the same, and as we stand confidently in who we are, which doesn't mean we're perfect, and certainly doesn't mean that we don't make mistakes, but we course correct a little more quickly. And I think that that's a beautiful way of living life, but I believe that every one of us was given the gift to be able to create and to be able to dream. So on one hand, dreaming can be considered a soft
Marcia Wieder:topic, but on the other hand, I really do believe that it is what transforms a company, an organization and individual. When we have the dream, we articulate it with clarity. We bring our passion to it. We invite and enroll and inspire other people to join us. And people stay in an organization, the retention conversation. You know, I think people join because they're inspired by by the leader or the products or services, but they stay when they see how they can bring very unique gifts in service to a vision that's bigger than them in a way where they feel appreciated and acknowledged, and that's a culture of visionary thinking and dreaming.
Host:Marcia, this has been so fun, I knew it would fly by and it did. Where can people go connect with you?
Marcia Wieder:My business website is dreamuniversity.com and then if you're interested in working with me personally, you can visit my website, which is marciawieder.com so marciawieder.com, dreamuniversity.com.
Host:Well, Marcia, thank you for inspiring us to dream and encouraging us to do it and showing us how to do it and what to watch out for. Thank you, Marcia, so much.
Marcia Wieder:Thank you.