Confidence, Mindset, and Career Growth for Moms with Chelsea Stokes

Episode 132 • 9th January 2024 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith

0:00

I really say the best thing you could do is make it really targeted to that job description because you're right, you are fighting against a robot trying to get through the robots. And every applicant tracking system is different. Some are super intelligent, some are not as intelligent. But the best thing that you can do is align with the keywords in the job description. That is their best clues to figuring out what to put in there. A great tool to help you cut down on this time is chat, GBT is you could throw your resume in chat with BT and say Chachi Vici Can you tailor my resume to this job description?

0:34

Let's reimagine mom life together. Mama high schools is your hub for relatable support and helpful resources that help you fuel yourself alongside motherhood. Your identity is bigger than mom, and whatever your goals are, together, we're making them a reality. We all have bills to pay, and there are more women working or being the primary breadwinner than ever. Now, it doesn't mean that career goals have to be one of your goals. But there are so many different ways to make money. And often we need to bring in new revenue streams to create the versions of success that we may be dreaming up. So whether it's a side hustle a new business moving up in your career, shifting your career, whatever it is, we want to make sure you have the resources to do that. And today with Chelsea Stokes, a former recruiter turned career coach who has helped hundreds of women uplevel their careers, lifestyles and mindset. She's the host of rich and hired podcast and serves clients from all over the world and her coaching program. She is serving us today breaking down some of the things that we can do to increase our confidence work through limiting beliefs have mindset shifts, that all help us with actual strategies of making sure that we're using the right keywords and our resumes, were navigating the different networking opportunities and reaching out on email to make sure that we're in not just a job, but the right job, whether you could say that you're a mom or not how to put that on your LinkedIn, and the different ways to navigate conversations around a gap in work history, and how we can also set our kids up for success in the work environment. This is such a good conversation, tap on it. Chelsea, I'm so excited to have you here today. This day and age, it is really hard to not have two working professionals in the household. Sometimes people are able to navigate that. But more than not, we're seeing that women are either the primary breadwinner even after having children, or they have to work alongside their partner. But obviously, there's a lot of different dynamics going on. And I'm super excited to talk through career tactics and how to really navigate the job search world getting in not just a job, but the right job, especially as a mom and how that shows up for the women in our community. And so I want to just dive in and start with some of the questions that you have your clients ask themselves at the beginning, when they're going into looking for a new job, because I think so often we're like, I need to make this amount of money, I would have thought maybe I would enjoy doing this. But there's maybe some more clarity questions that we need to get clear on before we end up in an interview or in a job search.

3:13

Yeah, totally. So there's basically two parts that I think of when we think about Career Clarity, there's a part that gets you happy, and then the part that gets you hired. So the bird that gets you hired, I think is the more traditional strategic approach, although my approach is really how can we align with your strengths and skill sets. Because at the simplest place in your job search, what you are strong at what you're naturally gifted at is a gifted athlete is typically what you're going to feel happiest doing at work. And that's going to vary for every person out there. And I think a lot of times, I see people out there trying to replicate other people's careers, which can be a beneficial exercise. But at the end of the day, we all have unique strengths, unique skill sets, and things that we can bring to the table. So we have to first look at you and what you're good at. And then that's also what's typically going to get you hired is what your direct and transferable skills are. And there's so much that you can say there, but that's the first part what's gonna get you hired. And then the other part is what's going to get you happy. And that's also going to vary for everybody out there. Maybe you want to be the breadwinner, and you want to have your husband stay at home, maybe you just want to bring in a little bit more income and be able to end your day at five maybe you want to work part time. There's so many different things out there and ways that you can puzzle piece your career together. But what I think a lot of people do is they don't think about these two sides first. And that really is like your roadmap, right? You have to reverse engineer your job search from that place, like where are we going? What's the destination? I often say, what are we putting in the GPS because if you don't put something in the GPS, you're just driving the car around aimlessly, not knowing where you're going. So if I had to boil it down Those are the two pieces that I think leads to career alignment. And in a funny way, too, I think that leads to happier careers, higher paying careers, just better careers overall. So that's why the first thing I would say people should focus on that. And

5:15

when you're able to be happy in your job, and you're able to perform well, with your skill set, then you're able to do a better job, which means there's room for promotions and raises and better opportunities. So I think that definitely is like the whole circle there. And I think that it is really important to find that happiness piece in your skill set. Because if you're maybe going into a job search, you're going into a job search for a couple different reasons, right? Like you need more money, you're not happy in your current position, or you're looking for something to fulfill you. And if you don't answer some of these questions, then you end up in a situation that you're not doing good for yourself for where you're supposed to be. And especially as moms, we have all these other variables, right? And we have to figure out how are we going to find the right role that fits inside of that there's the actual, hey, my schedule is this, or here are the needs I have for my budget, then there's this other side of it, of who you want to be. And especially after you have kids, there's often identity shifts, there's things that we become different people. And I was just talking to a woman the other day, she wants to step into being a business owner, she's actually been growing a business on the side for a little bit. And she's realizing that she might need to bring in some other income. And we were talking about that it's not a bad thing to have a side hustle or a side passion alongside your job. But instead of just going to find the highest paying job, maybe it's finding a job that aligns with that business you're trying to grow, where maybe it's finding a job that's going to teach you something for your new version of your life being a parent or something else. How do you help women find things that maybe they haven't done before, but it's going to fulfill this next level of themselves and this higher version of where they want to go? Knowing they might be lacking some of the skills to get there. But they also want to be in that role. How do you make that bridge?

6:59

Yeah, for sure. So, again, I think you're on the right track there in terms of what is the job that's going to support the lifestyle that you want, right, and intern in having that strategy with those things I talked about previously, ideally, you're going to be able to be more focused and thoughtful about the time you're spending, especially for a lot of moms, you don't have a lot of time, right, you only have limited time in the day, and you have to prioritize the tasks that are going to get you the most out of your job search. And one thing that's going to help you to be more efficient in your job search is having that clarity. Now, if you're looking to maybe make a pivot, like I've worked with people who are entrepreneurs full time and want to go back into traditional corporate, or I've had people who are lawyers that want to get out of that field, teachers, nurses, so many different types of people would want to make career pivots, and people to that just want to move up in their career. But in either sense, again, I do think it's important to evaluate, okay, what are your strengths and direct skills? What skills would transfer over? And then what are your blind spots and or areas of development? So what I do with my clients is evaluate all those things, we do the complete brain dump of your career and just look at the whole picture. Because from there, you can start to find patterns, right, you can start to connect the dots between those things, strengths, skill sets, areas, development, direct skills, transferable skills. And then from there, once you figure out, okay, these are the things that I'm good at, these are the things I like to do, you can start to look at potential career paths. And then notice those things that you might need areas of development. Now, a big mistake I see people make is they think that they have to go back to school or invest in like a month long certification. Many times you don't need to do that. If, for example, you want to become a lawyer or a doctor, okay, yeah, you might need to go back to school, but you obviously don't want to invest time, energy and money into something that's not going to drive you forward. So it's very important, I think, especially for moms, to be thoughtful about where they're spending their energy. A great tool I have for my clients is using LinkedIn learning. So LinkedIn learning has a number of different courses out there. I have someone right now who's transitioning into brand marketing from being a set and costume a costumer in LA. And one of the things we've done to really elevate her job search is helping her to get a good understanding of brand marketing to build hard skills in brand marketing that are necessary by taking these LinkedIn learning courses. So there are definitely ways to put your job search together and fill those gaps. But again, it's important that you at least have some direction of where you're going because you want to spend your time on the right certifications and skill sets if you do want to make a hard

9:44

career pivot and that's so good. And taking some of those courses in classes are a way for you to make sure that's what you want to do before you invest in, let's say an MBA or a larger program and you're like, oh wait, I actually don't want to do this either. So you can get really clear on what feels good for you. Now, there is definitely a lot of opinion around sharing that you're a mom in the workplace. So I want to debunk that right at the beginning. Yeah, and debugs, maybe not even the right word, because in some places, it is something to really be considerate of, what are some of the ways that you support your clients in that conversation, whether it's putting mom or not putting mom in their LinkedIn bio, having a part of the interview conversation in process, and also talking about a gap in maybe your work history, if you took some time off work?

10:34

Yeah, so for me, my ideal vision for my client is to get them in aligned career and whatever that means to them. And so when I think about career alignment, we also want to think about pushing away the things that don't align. So if you are a mom, and you want to be in an environment that is supportive of working mothers, I say put that on your LinkedIn is it repels the wrong companies, the wrong recruiters around prime managers, let that go. Let that be sure that could mean that there's opportunities not coming your way. But again, if they weren't going to be a light anyway, then let's put that out there. Right. Obviously, though, there is unconscious bias, and there are people that are going to consciously or unconsciously judge mom, so if you are going to put that on your LinkedIn, let's just be aware of that. It's the same thing for women of color, it's the same thing from someone from a minority background, there are unconscious biases that exist. So certainly, if you're someone who was really not wanting any of that, you can remove that. But again, if we're trying to set the intention that you want a job that's supportive of working mothers working parents, then put that on there and let it be let the people that are going to be repelled by that be repelled by that. Now, strategically, I will say I don't typically recommend more than 5% of your LinkedIn, your resume to be about what I call the personality piece. So it's great to let your personality shine and let someone get to know you. And to form that human human connection. I think human to human connection is a big missing piece of job searching right now. And it's a way for you to connect with people because you know, maybe the person that's hiring you is also a working mother or working parent, right. And to have that connection point could actually be a benefit to you, right? That's something to think about, like your friends or people that you meet or someone you meet randomly at a park, right? When you have that connection point, like you start chatting, and there's automatically that kind of like unsaid energetic tie there. And that is something that can help you in a job search, because at the end of the day, people hire people, but your LinkedIn and your resume is needing to be focused on keywords that are going to get you hired. So I typically say five, maybe 10% of your LinkedIn resume can be focused on anything personality, piece wise, that could be being a mom, a dog, Mom running, traveling, whatever, but those are not keywords that are going to be searched for that are going to get you hired. So keep it on the lower end. In terms of career gaps, again, there are companies and people out there that are still judging that consciously or unconsciously, that is the world that we're living in, I think we're making great strides towards that not being the case, especially with COVID. one silver lining of COVID is so much of the workforce had to take steps back had to take small stints at companies were let go. So we're seeing more and more people have career gaps on their resume for a variety of reasons where from a recruiting perspective, you'd be, it's hard for you to find a candidate that doesn't have some kind of short stint and a company or a career gap. But again, if a company is going to judge you for taking time off to take care of your kids, is that a company that you want to work for is that a company that aligns with your values? If we want to have working moms supported in the workforce, we have to make the decision as jobseekers to seek out companies that support us. So in terms of what the strategy is behind that, I would certainly think about first your mindset behind it, and what you might be projecting onto someone in a job search and what you might think that they might be perceiving. I think that's the first step. And then strategically, I think that there's just ways to explain that right? If there wasn't anything you did during that time, work related, that's okay, explain what you've done to get yourself ready to go back in the workforce. How could you now provide solutions to accompany Why are you ready to work? Why maybe this time off gave you time to reflect on what you really want? Think about your strengths. And like I said LinkedIn courses could be a great way to fill that gap to say, I've done XYZ to make myself feel even more prepared for X job. And I know more now than ever what my values are, I'm never been told Dedicated to committing to my career. And that's because I took that time off. So just like anything, it's like PR, right, you can spin in any way. And it does boil down. Of course, like I said to your mindset, and then there's strategy behind it. And

15:13

I'm thinking, it's such a good point that there could be a connection piece to being a mom, I, there's a phrase that if you want something done, give it to a busy mom, because they're gonna find the time to get it done. And a lot employers do see that as a benefit, and the ones that don't probably aren't a good fit. Now, if there's a situation where someone feels like they have to hide a part of them to get their job that they want, have, you had to show up with any clients, whether it's being a mom or something else about yourself, that you're like, Okay, I have to put that turn down the tone on that, because this role is really important to me. And I have to just No, this is like part of it. I can't think of a good scenario. But I feel like this could come up. And I feel like it would be this kind of hard identity. And I know you talk a lot about really being worthy in your identity to yourself. So if you're in a situation where you're feeling like you're hiding part of you, but it's because of whatever reason that you're trying to fit into something. How's that ever shown up? And how do you navigate that? Definitely,

16:10

there's so much workplace trauma that I see with my clients. And usually, if someone is feeling a certain way, about something in the future, there's something in their past that has made them feel this way. So they're trying, it's something called the disappearing present in something I'm certified rapid resolution therapy, when you're projecting into the future, you're not present in the present moment, you're using the past to try and avoid a potentially bad situation which, as humans, we are programmed for survival. I think moms are even more programmed for survival and are more likely to have their nervous systems triggered and to get to that state where they're like seeing potential threats. Because obviously, you want to get a job, you want to be able to support your family and your children. So I definitely see this happen with clients. Obviously, as a coach, we try to support clients as much as we can. But there comes a point where we may recommend mental health resources, if it's really something deep, and where they need that kind of support. So we definitely outsource people for that. But we implement tools that rely mostly on subconscious reprogramming. So the way I see coaching and the difference between therapy is we're giving a client the tools and working through with them, what's coming up with them, to really make sure that they have consistent effort on their subconscious mind. Like I said, if you're projecting a potential future situation, then there's something in your subconscious that is making you feel that way. So we work with clients to peel back those layers, okay, like what actually happened here? How can we reframe this? How can we reprogram this to serve you better, and that has really caused some amazing shifts for my clients. It's not an overnight change. It's not something that it's a lifelong journey to do this work right to program, what we've been taught, and what society tells us what we've gone through individually. And then what society tells us, right, there's so much in our brains that have been downloaded, either by ourselves or against our will. And I think it's one of our big jobs to reprogram that. So we're essentially giving our clients the tools to be able to take that with them even long after they work with us to make those shifts in ways that resonate with them. So I definitely see it happen with clients. And it shows up mostly as workplace trauma. And mindset blocks, like you said, like confidence issues, imposter syndrome, all these different ways, right. So things overwhelm procrastination for every client shows up a little differently. But it really boils down to getting into that subconscious mind and making those shifts. So

18:45

someone's feeling like they have to change part of themselves or they're feeling like they're not being authentically them in the role that they're either in or searching for. We can take it back and say, Okay, why are you feeling this way? And let's create some of this confidence. And let's really find where this is originating from? And does it mean a role shift? Does it mean doing something different? Or do we need to shift something within ourselves, and confidence is obviously a huge component of finding the right role and figuring out what it is that you want to do? What are some daily activities that you could recommend for someone to do to build confidence?

19:22

For sure, one of the biggest things that you can start to do is to cultivate awareness. So awareness is the first step to change. I often say if you try to drive a car and you like there's something wrong with the car, but you keep driving it and you don't actually try to figure out what's wrong. Is that ever going to solve the problem? Right? So the first thing I say is like, start to just notice your thoughts. Get curious, get creative, what's coming up in your brain when you're job searching when you're thinking about this next and breaks to your earlier point? I think a lot of times my clients are projecting past situations on the future. So it's not really that they're being John showed that they need to push themselves down. It's that's happened to them in some way the past maybe even when they were kids that had showing up in the present, or they think it's going to show up in the future. So I would say awareness is the first step, you can do this for a week, carry around a notebook, have a Notes app on your phone, anytime you just notice the thought, write it down. And this kind of starts a process of peeling back these layers where you start to notice patterns, you start to notice, okay, I had this thought, but then the next day, you're like, oh, wait, this kind of seems related. So it's hard to explain esoterically like this, but it's a great way to start. From there. cultivate awareness, a really great, easy tool I recommend to a lot of moms is affirmations, which I know people think affirmations are accordionists, like, people tuned me out when I start saying this, but hear me out for a second. A lot of times, affirmations don't work for two reasons. Number one, you're not making the affirmations that are specific to you and specific to this time in your life. So that's where the awareness comes in. What are the thoughts that you're having that aren't serving you? And how can you reverse those, right? And then over time, as you start to again, notice different things or maybe the affirmation start to work, change up your affirmations two to three. So for example, if you're saying, in your head, I'm going to be judged because I'm a mom. And I feel that I'm not going to get as good job search results. Because I am a mother, you could say, being a mother is powerful. And I will find a company that supports working mothers, or whatever way the phrasing works for you, right. The second thing, like I said, is the time of day. So when you're waking up first thing in the morning, your brain is super malleable, you're coming out of this subconscious state. And it's a theta wave state before you get out of that deep REM sleep state. So if you can do it as soon as you wake up or as close to waking up as possible, and then right before you go to bed, you're literally working with your brain's natural brainwaves to start to shift your subconscious. So this is my Astana, mom's like if you're picking up your feeding, feeding your baby in the morning, per se, do it all. You're giving them their bottle. If you're making lunches first thing in the morning, your breakfast, you can literally do it while you're making breakfast, or brushing teeth or doing hair, whatever it might be. It's a really easy thing, the closer you can do it to waking up or going to sleep, the better. But that one simple tool. I've seen such big shifts in people's subconscious because you're literally working with your brainwaves. You're working with the thoughts, right and flipping them, or seeing them like a misty Aliko. At Work ackward reverse engineer chefs. So that's a really easy tool that is super powerful. And I highly urge Yeah, and

22:32

keeping with that theme with Missy Elliott, my kids love Snoop Dogg's affirmation songs, we start with that song, at least once a week, if not more. And I do think making it specific to you is great. But if you can't get there yet, literally, it might sound silly, but put that song on. And it literally changes your mood and how you can show up. And it's a great way to just start and move forward into how you can start talking to yourself in a different way. And obviously, the song is made meant for kids. So it is a kid oriented thing, when we start talking like power into ourselves as women, it's a different narrative, and one that is going to have a higher impact rather than just saying I am strong. But saying I am going to find a workplace honors me as a working mom, like that is so much more powerful than just saying I am a woman of power. And both are great and have a place but one is going to have a different impact. And I think it's really important that you brought that out. Now, I want to get a little strategic for a second, we're releasing this at the beginning of the new year, there is always this shift of what does this year gonna mean for me, what am I going to dive into? What are my goals? And for anyone that's looking to make a career shift? I know recently, you shared that there are some hiring spikes throughout the year. And the new year being one of those can you talk a little bit about how someone could capitalize on the hiring process right now at the beginning of January. And really I know that there's some work that you could do before this, but at this point in time, what could they do to really capitalize on new budgets New Year and the new energy that the workplace is feeling? Yeah,

24:10

I am going to talk about strategy. But first, I'm just going to briefly touch on energy because something I see for people I've seen this when it's been coming up and my coaching calls and especially for my moms out there because no one of moms are like Christmas shopping and you know that all the stress that comes with the end of the year often goes into January. And I see people get really stressed out sometimes when I or anyone talks about these hiring waves because they're like, oh my god, I just had so much to do and now I need a job to take advantage of this time. So the first thing I would recommend is to try as much as you can to regulate your nervous system. And I know this can be so hard it feels impossible to find the time but literally even 30 seconds a minute of the day. Like literally if you just make your out breath longer than your in breath. You're triggering your parasympathetic nervous system was watching Use the rest and digest, getting yourself into a calmer state. Some other simple tools or emotional freedom technique, it's you look it up on YouTube, it's also known as tapping that can take one to two minutes and take you from a 10 to seven. And I'm not saying you need to get to a zero like Dalai Lama. But anything you can do to just get yourself a little bit more regulated, I would highly recommend because sometimes I see, especially for mothers that they're already stressed out with the holiday season, then they're going into job searching, and it's just it's kicking ass, right? So we need to in the energy first, once you do that in any ways that you can, it's really important to get focused. And because it is the new year, right new budgets, just like you said, There typically are more job postings than normal. And this happens a couple different times a year, I often see it in January, March, June, September, and then a ramp up from like October to December. And just as a heads up to everybody to their you can get hired at any time of year with the right strategies. These are not the only times to get hired, they're just peaks where there are typically more jobs postings. But what I see happen is that people get overwhelmed, they don't prioritize, or they're trying to apply to everything. They're like rushing again, that's where we go back to that energy. So going back to what we talked about earlier, I would really get focused in on what you're looking for, as much as you can, what is the job function, the level, the salary band, the titles and the industries that you're looking at, and that you're qualified for, really try to get targeted there. And I this is there's so much I could say here with strategy. But the biggest things are clarity, optimizing your personal brand, so editing your resume for each job. And if you can do networking, particularly on email, that's what's going to be most beneficial. So there's so much I can say with that. But if there's one thing you would take away, it's to get strategic and focus, you don't have the energy to apply to every job, and you're not going to be a fit for every job. So really figure out what it is that you want, right, that part that makes you happy. And the perfect gets you hired, and then go in and try to apply to let's say, Steve Jobs per week, if they feel aligned, right, really quality is going to get better results than quantity at any time of year, but especially in January. And what I see is people like go ham in January, they just tried to apply to everything, it doesn't work, they get burnt out. And then like they have to recover for months. And we don't want that to happen. So I would say get focused in on what you want. If you can add in the optimization of your resume. Excellent. If you can add in a layer of strategic networking. Excellent. But if there's one thing really get focused in on that, what is it makes you happy? And what's going to make you Yeah,

27:50

let's talk about optimizing your resume for a moment. Because when I first understood like how to optimize your resume, I felt dumb to be honest, because I was like oh duck like that it's going into a computer, it's going into a system, I need to have keywords in there. But I feel like when I graduated high school in college, no one talked about keywords and like search engine optimization on your resume, and how it's going into a program that's going to basically score you no one's gonna even look at your resume unless you get a higher score for certain jobs. Not every job. Yeah. And none of those things were things that I was taught. And I always looked at my resume back then about like, how does it sound? How is this making me sound? What is it putting together? Where really you're like writing something for a computer to read? Most of the time? Not always. Sometimes it's going directly to an email. But can you talk a little bit about that and how to make it personable, but also for a robot for me,

28:46

I'm not really my client, make two resumes, have them make one for the robot, one for the applicant tracking system, and then one that would be read by a human and typically they're similar. So let me explain the differences. I really say the best thing you could do is make it really targeted to that job description because you're right, you are fighting against a robot trying to get through the robots. And every applicant tracking system is different. Some are super intelligent, some are not as intelligent. But the best thing that you can do is align with the keywords in the job description. That is their best clues to figuring out what to put in there. A great tool to help you cut down on this time is chat GBT, you could throw your resume in chat GBT and say chat, you beachy Can you tailor my resume to this job descriptions? It's not going to be perfect. It's not going to be quite the same as a human looking at it, but at least get you on the right track. Another thing you could ask is what are the 20 most important keywords from this job description and to start there, right that will at least right track because applicant tracking systems basically use AI? So check GPT is like a very rudimentary ATS so you can use that as a starting point. Another great tool is jobscan.co They do make you pay off Your five scans, but sigh No. And hopefully job scan doesn't hear this. But if you go into incognito mode, it won't track your cookies. So that's a good tool to use. And that will at least get you on going on the right track in using the keyword. So I wouldn't say not to not make it personable at all. But I would really just focus on making your resume keyword heavy. Now I do my clients make a separate version that is more read for a human that they use for networking. So something I teach my clients is productive networking, getting in touch with companies and people at companies in departments that they want to work at before jobs are posted. So there, you could have a little bit more personality or personality or whatever. And we still want it to be keyword focused. But you can make it more read by a human and your LinkedIn is a great place to be a little bit more personable, right? LinkedIn does have an algorithm to they do have a similar strategy and algorithm that's similar to applicant tracking system. So you do want that to be keyword focused as well. But there's really a place that you can show more of your personality, I think LinkedIn is it. And then last thing I'll say is that I really don't recommend relying on applying alone, because it's not a perfect system, right, you can make your resume perfect using these tools. And it could be beautiful and all allied and there are strategies to get through the applicant tracking system, I don't like to rely on that alone, I like my clients to feel like they are doing everything in their power to get an interview for a job they're interested in. So that's where strategic networking comes in. And try to go beyond the applicant tracking system making those connections and making yourself more than just a piece of paper. Because at the end of the day, the way you're going to really have that person ability. And that connection is by having a conversation with someone. And that's so yeah.

31:41

And so often before in a situation and someone says, Hey, do you know anyone that that happens before someone says, Alright, let's hire a recruit, or let's put this into the system, like the company is first saying, hey, think we have this role opening up, or we're gonna build this role or whatever it is. And the very first conversation is going to be Do you know anyone, because they don't want to hire a recruiter and go through the whole processes if they don't have to. So I think that proactive networking is so important. If you were to give us just I know that there's so many different tactics to that, and it's really in depth. But if you're gonna give someone a couple of steps to say, hey, here's how you get started proactive networking, or really connecting with people before the job is even listed. What are some things that you could do?

32:24

Yeah, so the first thing I would do is target certain companies, maybe a list of 10 to 20 companies would be a good place to start. I on LinkedIn, every week post companies that have great benefits and perks if you want to look there, I list the company and the different perks they have, whether that's like maternity leave, or extra maternity leave whatever. You can also go on LinkedIn and search, you can literally just search a search term like paternity leave and see what jobs descriptions come up that have paternity leave listed as a benefit, if that's important to you, right, or let's say 20 weeks on maternity leave or something like that. But my LinkedIn will have all those listed there if anyone wants to see it. And obviously the search will show any current jobs that have that listed. So that's a good place to start is to target 10 to 20 companies that you feel are aligned with you. The second step would be to decide, okay, what department Am I looking to work in. And this is where that earlier piece of Career Clarity comes in. If you know, the job function, the function that you would have in an organization is, then you could start to get more specific about the department that you fall in, maybe you want to work in learning and development, for example. So you would start to look for the people that are working in learning and development on LinkedIn, there's a people tab, and you can search on that people tab and put in different search terms like learning and development and see the people that show up that have that on their LinkedIn. From there, you want to try to find a decision maker. So a decision maker would be someone who is level above you. Now this is again, where clarity is really important. If you're looking for a manager level, you'd probably be looking for someone at the senior manager or director level, we didn't want to go too high. We don't want to go too low. Now, one thing people ask me often is what if I have a peer or someone below me, you can certainly reach out to those people, but they're typically not the people that are making hiring decisions. The person that's gonna be making a hiring decision is the person above you, there typically going to be your manager, we also call it your future potential boss. So that's the three steps I would follow. Another question people ask is, What about recruiters, you certainly can reach out to recruiters at companies. But again, to your point, the hidden job market is happening within departments, right? It does have a window in HR too. But recruiters don't really love this practice because it goes around the processes and procedures that are in place. But we're human. You're absolutely right. If we know someone's going to be leaving a team or you're adding a headcount, they're not going to wait for finance show proven the job to be posted. They're gonna say just like you said, do we know anybody who do we know and to your point to if they don't have an HR department, they don't want to have to hire an agency if they don't have to. So they're gonna go out and see who they can find it. And so if the company doesn't have a recruiting team, you can reach out to your recruiters, I do see a lower response rate with recruiters because recruiters are their partners with hiring managers are not the people that are make hiring decisions. So to really target the people that are decision makers is what's going to give you the most bang for your buck the most return on your energy, as I say, as well. So that's what I would focus on. There's obviously like more finesse to that. But at the highest level, that's what we're aiming Yeah.

35:26

So the other thing that comes to my mind is thinking about now versus later. Yeah, and so often we can go in, we can search for a job, and we can be like, Yeah, this is what I want. Right now, this is what how much money I want to make. Now, this is how this fits my life now. And then there's a part of it of focusing on the later that's really important. Yeah, and there's the good aspect of hey, you can grow into this role, or you can grow here do this, but also the other side that it's okay to be in a job for a period of time, right, you don't have to go into a job and say, this is going to be my end all be all. Or if it's like less than the amount of money you want to make. Remembering that anyone that's listening to this podcast probably has at least 20 to 30 years work life left that they could take advantage of if they wanted to. And when you're going into a job, you're like, gosh, just just isn't the amount of pay that I was like really looking for. I think this is a really interesting concept. Because we want to get what we're worth, right, we want to allow ourselves to manifest and embody this highest version of ourselves. But also doesn't really matter. If two years from now you're able to get that amount or three years from now or five, because you probably 10 years from now could totally be making that amount. And doesn't matter. How do you see the show up when you're helping your clients settle, but not settle? Right, we want to manifest and embody this best version of ourselves. But also, sometimes maybe it's not the right fit right now.

36:45

For sure, yeah. So it is such a fine balance. Because you're right, you don't want to sell yourself short, which I see I work mainly with women and have worked with some men, but the women I work with very often are selling themselves short. So we do want to make sure that you're not just going lower, because you don't think you can get higher, right. And that's where mindset comes in. But the way that we work with this with our clients as we make a list of desires, deal breakers. So I have a three part process. The first I talked about evaluating your career thus far. The second is evaluating you now. And then the third is where you sit in the job market. And the evaluating you now is what are your desires, deal breakers at this stage of your life, me now is different than me five years ago, and will probably be different from me five years from now. So valuating, where you are in your life and what your wants and your needs are really important. It really easy example is maybe you're planning to have a family, right now you want to prioritize travel, and maybe you're recently married, and you want to just enjoy time with your partner. But in five years, that might be different than you maybe you'll be planning for a family or have kids already. So evaluating that I think at different stages of your career in life is very important. But that initial list of desires and deal breakers is really great because it helps you to evaluate what are the things I want? And what are the things I absolutely need. A really easy kind of example is you might have a walk number, right, there might be a minimum base salary that you would feel comfortable taking. But maybe there's an ideal salary that you would want. So I use this with my clients to help them decide what jobs to apply to what interviews to take, what interviews to continue with what offers to take, how to negotiate offers and salary. So it's a really valuable tool because it allows you to have an objective list that you made early on in your job search that is not based on emotion or a certain moment, like for example, maybe you get an interview and you're like, oh my gosh, I have to take this because it's the only opportunity that I'm going to get, which is a mindset block. Right? So then we go back and say, Okay, actually, it's $20,000, less than you said your walk number was. So let's go back to this right or to your point to right, maybe it is in your deal breakers. And you could say okay, it doesn't hit your desires. But it does hit the things that you said you absolutely want and need. So let's move forward. And let's explore it. And that case, it's important, I think, to evaluate what is the typical promotion trajectory in this company? What are people making at the next level up is a large company, is it a small company, it is totally fine to have a role that doesn't check all the boxes. But if that is what you want it you want to roll that hit certain boxes, figuring out okay, what how does this role play into that? And so I'm always thinking about career steps, right? Maybe this next step isn't exactly what you want. But is it getting you closer to your ultimate goal? I think that's the thing that you have to evaluate, especially if you're going to take like a salary cut. Or if you're going to take less than what you want. It's important just like okay, maybe this isn't what I want, ideally, but isn't getting me closer to my ultimate goal. Was that music to take a little pickup, okay, but make sure that it's lining up with the ultimate

39:47

vision. So good. Now, there are so many things that I think we all say gosh, I wish I would have learned this when I was a kid or I wish I would have been able to have these skills or these tools as parents will What are some things that we can do with our children to help set them up for success in the workplace environment? Whether it's job searching, or like internal work? What are some of the things that we can do to help them as they navigate real life?

40:16

Oh, that's a good question. Get them a career coach and don't have them relax. Okay, good.

40:22

Let's start there, when at what age so I started working like on paper at 15. And I was actually working before that as well. So what is too early to be working with a career coach or having some of that information provided to you?

40:39

, I think, you know, for even: 1112

43:23

now. So surface level, and my oldest is almost five, I'm pregnant with our youngest. And we have a two year old in the middle there. Yeah. And so I'm in a different season of where right now, maybe Snoop Dogg affirmations are enough. And that's all that we have to do. But some of the women in our community that have older children, we start to get into this other area, where we have to find this fine balance between really implementing some solid skills that you are going to be able to bring into the workplace, while navigating that inherent worth that we have, right? We want to bring those Snoop Dogg affirmations along with us. And we want to be able to know, hey, we're worthy, and we want to tell our kids like you're worthy, you don't have to just get that job to be worthy. You don't have to just get that raise to be worthy. But we do hear I'm a millennial myself, we do hear a lot of this entitlement. Right. So where is this balance of supporting ourselves or our children, to learn the skills that are necessary understand that there are certain things that have to be done in the job? And also, we're worthy, as is what it? How do we balance that as a parent and as an individual? Yeah,

44:32

I think that Gen Z in particular is doing a great job of shaking up the workforce in the head. I understand that there is like this sense of entitlement, but sometimes things I think do need to be extreme in order to make waves and I think Gen Z is actually helping millennials and Millennial managers to create healthier workplaces and that might be a hot topic or a different take But certainly, there's simply a disconnect. I, my parents were from a blue collar background I was taught, you're supposed to work hard. And that's how you're gonna get success. But that didn't serve me that led to me burning out feeling exhausted, feeling unhappy, being depressed. And that's why I started to go about my career a completely different way, and how I teach that differently to my clients. So I think with Gen Z, they're taking that even further, right? And being like, No, I'm going to do what serves me. But I think what we need to do is find a balance here, right? I personally believe that a lot of people think that they just want to do nothing, they don't want to work, corporate is the worst, and nobody wants to be a part of it. I don't assign to that story. I don't believe that. I think we're all here for a purpose. I think we are here to make an impact. And I think that we feel the happiest and most fulfilled when we align with that purpose. So I think for kids trying to bring them back to that purpose. Maybe that means if a kid is artistic, and maybe you're worried about how they're going to actually make that into a living, okay, can they do that as a side hustle and find another job that allows them to be creative, but it's more stable, right? I think that we can go back to what we are naturally called to. And I really believe every person on this planet has a specific reason that they are here. And we and I think that if you follow that, and if you align with that you will be okay, you will make money and you will be supported. And you will probably feel the best that you could. So I think for children, young and old, trying to help them get to that by just going back to themselves. I think we all have that answer inside of us no matter what age we are. So I think it really is about connecting to ourselves. And that's such a big topic. And you talk about like nervous system regulation. meditation, meditation is a great thing, I think for kids, for them, get out of the thinking mind get into their bodies. But I think at the end of the day, to answer your question, connecting to purpose is one of the best things I think kids can do to bridge that gap between okay, how do we work, but not be in that kind of entitlement phase. And I think that's the the bridge that we are hopefully going to be building in the next generation.

47:16

I think that's so important, because so often we see in this community of moms as well, after we have kids, we think, Okay, this is our purpose. And then it's not your only purpose, and especially women that are on this podcast, they're they're navigating that they're realizing, Hey, I'm called to do something else, I have goals in these other areas, in addition to being a mom. And if we apply that to our kids, it's really the same thing where you have a purpose to be a child, you have a purpose, to be an individual, you have a purpose to be an employee, or whatever you are called to go do. But there are these different arms of us and each of them come back to the bottom of the tree, if you will, but to be able to really allow yourself to have those multiple purposes and find that and I love that you brought the example up of the art, because we can have a passion and a joy that maybe isn't what pays the bills. And we can nurture that in our children, while helping them navigate real life things, and maybe helping them be creative into how to pay their bills with that passion. So I think that's really great. Before I ask our last couple final questions, where can everyone connect with you? Where's the best place for everyone has happened to your world and hear more of this goodness? Yeah,

48:29

so I'm on Instagram and Tiktok at Chelsea Stokes underscore, so I post content on there daily. Like I said earlier, you can find me on LinkedIn, I think my LinkedIn is Chelsea Stokes one. But if you search Chelsea Stokes Career Coach, you should find me. And like I said, I have a weekly post that goes out of great companies, a lot of them are really aligned to mother. So you can follow me there to see those posts. And or you can find me at Chelsea stokes.com. So I'm on every platform pretty much. But that's where you can find me.

48:57

Now, I think when we think about really getting into this purpose and these different conversation, through strategy, we talked about the keywords, we talked about how to network, how to get into places, but we can create this frequency or this feeling of how we are as human. And I seem to show up a lot in how we nurture our homes as moms, if we walk in and we're all stressed out, and it's been a crazy day, we're creating more chaos than we are joy in our house. That is the frequency at which everyone chooses to operate within the house doesn't mean it's easy to switch it but the fact of the matter is when we can switch it we can have a better culture or a better environment. Now you have a new program that talks about frequency. Let's talk a little bit about that and how this shows up in the workplace and our job search.

49:45

Absolutely, yeah, so I just launched a new program called Career freak and it's all about aligning your internal frequency to align with your external reality. So I really believe if even think about atoms and we're all in Giving out different vibrations all the time right now you and me it like everything around us is all giving out a certain vibration. And while certainly we can't control other people, I do think our vibration impacts the people around us, especially our families and the people that are closest to us. Who knows there could even be a genetic component to that, if you think about like winds and how they have like that. What is helicopter? Yeah, where they hit each other's minds. But anyway, I think it really is about and I know, this is so hard for moms. And I think the expectation a lot of times for moms that work with me, or like they're thinking they need to have a 30 or minute or an hour long self care routine to see progress. If you can even carve out five minutes, two minutes, right, there are meditations that are literally that long, my program, I made the meditations like 10 minutes or less, like I'm trying to make it really short so that if you're working a lot, if you're busy, you have as you can call about 10 minutes, then you can still get that alignment. So finding ways for you to go inward, and really create that alignment as much as you can yourself. Again, it's not going to be an overnight change, it's not going to happen immediately. But it'd be curious to see how that impacts your external reality that people around you even just to give herself evidence for this. If you ever just meet like a kind person, like someone opens the door for you? Or does a little act of kindness like how do you feel? How do you feel impacted by that energy, think about ways that you have experienced energy impacting you. And that can give you the motivation to do that with your own family, with your own kids with your own partner. So I have a great program that's working on aligning your frequency in your vibration, but any sort of like meditations or visually visualizations that align with you any nervous system practice practices that can create that calm within you, I really feel that is going to impact everybody and everything around you. And what a beautiful ripple effect that is to just with like society at large, so

51:57

good. And of course that helps us get our dream jobs or dream positions, right? Because then our energy is there. So this has been so helpful, Chelsea, so many good takeaways. There have been a lot of takeaways, though, and with all of the frequency and higher energy, and Mom's having a lot of mental load. I would love if you could give the mom that's looking for something different when it comes to her career. What is the very first step she should take getting off this podcast today?

52:25

Okay, the first step that you should take, what I would say is the first step that you should take typically for most moms, is to figure out how you can get things off your plate to make time for you. And again, even if that's five minutes to figure that out. So I was actually just doing this exercise today. And it was it's from Boss Baby, whoo, Natalie, every girl's name. Yes, she's amazing. She has this exercise that's called do delegate, defer and delete. And if you could take an audit of the things that you have going on what needs to actually be done, what can be deferred, what can be delegated, and what can be deleted? That's a really great place to start. Because I don't think it's really beneficial to just dive into a job search for most moms. Because if you were able to do that, you probably wouldn't be doing that right, you probably don't have the time or you're feeling stressed out or your energy isn't aligned, right. So in order for you to carve out the time to meditate, in order for you to carve out the time to job search, you got to take a look at what isn't working, where's your energy being drained? Where are you not optimized, maybe that looks asking your husband or wife to watch your kids for five minutes, or calling in the in laws or maybe looking into play data or something, getting creative and making that list of that do delegate defer and delete can really help you to prioritize? What are the things that actually need to get done? What are the things I can give to somebody else? What are the things that can wait? And what things can I remove off my plate? And this is a hard exercise. But you have to be really honest with yourself. I think, especially for moms and women, we want to do it all. We want to be that superhero, right? But like, maybe you don't need to make the cupcakes for the birthday class. Like maybe you can ask somebody else to do that. Or maybe you don't need to host those people maybe don't have to host that play date. Like how can you say no, and there's a lot that goes into the mindset around that. But I would say that if there's one action, you can take 15 minutes today, write down all the things that you can think of that need to be done, put them into those categories and try to prioritize, can carve out this physical space for you to start either working on your energy or working on your job search that I would say is the first place to start that so good.

54:40

Now, we love evolving goals. You've done a lot of really cool things. You've transitioned from a really successful career into helping women in this space. But what are you currently excited about? What's a goal that you're currently working towards? Yeah,

54:54

ms. And so that's my plan for: 2024

55:50

you so much, Chelsea. Yes. Thank

55:51

you so much. You

55:53

your story and what you have to offer this world builds me up. I want to meet you join me on Instagram at this is Kelsey Smith. And let's create a ripple effect for mamas with goals together is better

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