Shownotes
Season 7; Episode 174
Episode Overview
In this episode we're diving deep into a question that's on the minds of many: "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" If we live long enough, we will all be solo agers. How we prepare for our later years can make all the difference.
It's not just about medical planning; it's about social engagement, maintaining robust relationships, and taking a clear-eyed look at our futures. We're here to bring some light and practical wisdom to the conversation.
Joining the podcast today is the renowned author and expert on solo aging, caregiving, and adult living, Joy Loverde. Through her work, including her books "The Complete Elder Care Planner" and "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" Joy has become a beacon of guidance for many grappling with these concerns.
In today's episode, we're covering everything from thoughts about legal and financial planning, to building a supportive network, and even how to have those tough conversations about the future with our friends and loved ones.
Guest Bio
Born with an innate sense of compassion that was evident from her teenage years, Joy Loverde found her calling at the tender age of 14, when she accepted a nun's invitation from her all-girls Catholic high school to volunteer at a nursing home on Thanksgiving. The stark reality of elderly people sitting alone in the dim light of the facility struck a chord with her young mind, and this experience planted seeds of inquiry that would shape her life's work. Loverde was moved by the sight of the individuals she encountered and puzzled by the circumstances that left them isolated from their families on a holiday meant for togetherness and gratitude.
As she grew, the questions that sprang from that day—"Who are these people? What series of events led them to this situation, and where were their families on Thanksgiving?"—continued to resonate with her. These early, poignant experiences sparked a lifelong dedication to understanding and addressing the complexities of aging and eldercare. Loverde's journey began in the shadows of a somber nursing home, but it would unfold into a career filled with light, advocacy, and a quest to improve the lives of the elderly and their families.
Episode Takeaways
Top 3 things to plan for:
- How are you going to finance a longer life. Many resources in Joy's book, "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old."
- Where we live has everything to do with the quality of our life.
- Put your wishes in writing and put them into legal documents.
Links
Contact Joy Loverde at her website: elderindustry.com
She is also on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram
Become a Boomer Believer.
Follow Hey, Boomer! on:
Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
Email Wendy at wendy@heyboomer.biz
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
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Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Transcripts
Well, hello, and welcome to Hey Boomer. My name is Wendy Greene, and I am your host for Hey Boomer. Hey Boomer is all about helping us live the best lives as we age. And I know for sure that having supportive relationships with ourselves and with others makes the journey smoother. So my goal is to bring on guests who will provide us with the wisdom and insight and knowledge for what it means to have dependable, supportive relationships in our lives. So today, we're talking about solo aging, who will take care of us when I when we get old, who we might have take care of. And it just so happens I hadn't, well, a solo aging experience today. That turned out very well.
Wendy Green [:So if my mom is listening, don't worry, mom. But what happened is about 3:40 this morning, my smoke alarm started beeping. You know? The batteries were dying. But it wasn't a continuous beep, so I was able to ignore it until around 6 when I got up and said, okay. I need to change these batteries. And as a soloager, that means getting up on the ladder by myself with nobody else here, and having to be extremely careful because surely I don't wanna fall. And normally, in a normal situation, I would call somebody, come over and just be here, and I'm getting up on a ladder. So I didn't do that this morning because it was 6 o'clock in the morning.
Wendy Green [:But, you know, whether you're a solo ager or not, you may become a soloager at some point in your life if you live long enough. And so what are your plans? Have you really taken into account do you have enough money to last you for a long life? Are you anticipating that your kids might take care of you? Or maybe you don't have kids, and so what's the next person that you would ask? And then the flip side, do you have friends who are solo agers, and might they be hoping, expecting, wondering who's going to take care of them and thinking, oh, well, you're such a good friend. Maybe you will. So we're going to get some great insights into all of these questions from my guest today, Joy Laverde, who is a highly respected expert on soloaging, caregiving, and adult living. But before we tackle those or this topic, I really want you to listen up, because we're gonna talk about boomer believers. So what are the Boomer believers? Boomer believers are the people that will come together once a month to meet with of our amazing guests. And our guest on Boomer Believer this month is gonna be Joy Laverde. So once you hear all of the wisdom that she's gonna share with us, you're gonna definitely wanna become a boomer believer.
Wendy Green [:So what we do is we have a Zoom meeting, and you get to interact with her or the guest of the month and ask all the questions you want to ask and learn all the stuff that you maybe thought, oh, Wendy, you should have asked that on the call. You also would get access to being a member of the Boomer gathering. That's more of a community gathering. We talk about all kinds of interesting subjects, and we learn from each other, and we form friendships with each other. That is also virtual. So if you want to become a boomer believer in time to meet with Joy next Tuesday, a week from this Tuesday, at 6:30 EST, then go to buymeacoffee.com/ heyboomer0413 and sign up. It's only $25 a month. It is such a great deal and such a wonderful opportunity to learn even more.
Wendy Green [:So let me introduce you to Joy and and invite her to join us. Hello, Joy.
Joy Loverde [:Hey,
Wendy Green [:I am so glad you are here. This is gonna be amazing.
Joy Loverde [:No. I'm I'm delighted. I love talking about anything to do with planning and taking good care of ourselves as we all age together.
Wendy Green [:Well, let me do a real quick intro so people know a little bit more about you. So Joy is the best selling author of The Complete Elder Care Planner, the 4th edition, and this amazing book, Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old, which is where I spent my time reading and studying. She's a seasoned keynote speaker, a brand ambassador for the senior living industry, and she has appeared on the Today Show, the CBS Early Show, ABC News, and NPR. Also, the Wall Street Journal reaches out to her, Washington Post, Time Magazine. Everybody wants to know what Joy is thinking about. I'm gonna share her website with you at the end. It's elderindustry.com. And if you have not done your planning or you've started but you're stuck, you're gonna wanna be here, but invite your friends.
Wendy Green [:Right? Everybody knows somebody who needs a little extra time and effort to get ready. So invite them now. Tell them to tune in live where they can ask questions in the chat, or let them know that the recording will be available on YouTube, and they will be able to listen to the podcast wherever they get podcasts. So, Joy, tell me your story about how you got involved in the elder care industry.
Joy Loverde [:Well, I was 14 years old. I decided to volunteer to go to a nursing home on Thanksgiving at the invitation of the nun that was in my home room. I went to an all girls Catholic high school. And she looked around and said, who wants to go with me? And I said, I will. And we walked into a nursing home It was pretty much dark, and 7 people were sitting in the dark. And I couldn't wrap my 14 year old brain around why people were in this situation. I I asked myself some questions. Like, who are these people? What series of events led them to this situation, and where were their families on Thanksgiving? Now these questions never left me.
Joy Loverde [:They still don't. Yeah. But I decided to do something about it. And when I turned 40, I wrote the 1st edition of the complete elder care planner in the hopes that people would begin to talk to each other about making plans for the future. And ever since then, it's the rest is history. I've been talking about caregiving and solo aging and aging parents for over 35 years.
Wendy Green [:Wow. So that's an amazing story at 14 and how it impacted you. So so the book, that I was looking at, who will take care of me when I'm old? Such an important question. I mean, how do you even begin to start to answer that?
Joy Loverde [:I I can tell you briefly how that came to be was I was giving talks for for the, as I've said, for many, many years, and people began to come up to me after my talks. And they would say, I'm taking care of my parents and my grandparents and aunts and uncles, But who's gonna take care of me? And these were people that were our age, Wendy, that knew that they they may not have the same family structure, child free or childless, experiencing widowhood, never decided to get married, or they're separated or divorced. And little by little, I realized this is the next big trend in our world of planning for our future self. So that's how that book came to be.
Wendy Green [:Well, it's it's hard to wrap your head around it. You know? I mean, we feel you and I both feel like we're very strong, healthy, independent women. You know? And when you start to think about planning for that, sometimes that can feel creepy or overwhelming or, you know, all of it's gonna be okay? I mean, we all have different thoughts, processes that we go through. And how do you address that?
Joy Loverde [:The the one feeling that continuously comes up when when after people are finished feeling overwhelmed is the one about wanting to take control of of the quality of their life as they go forward. So they go from fear, feeling creepy, as you said, anxious, overwhelmed to okay. I am an I am an independent smart person, and I can begin the process somewhere, and I will. And they begin to take responsibility for their own lives, which is all that I'm asking them to do, and then they see, you know, it is possible. And you could tell from looking at the table of contents that there is a order to being able to to feel the peace of going forward and making a plan.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Well, you do have a lot of of steps in here to make a plan, so I I kinda wanna and and a lot of worksheets too. I I love that. But, yeah, I I wanna start with just accepting the fact that we're all going to, if we live long enough, become solo agers. And we have to make some decisions about, you know, can I live in my house? Can I do I need to go to a nursing home? Do I need to go to continuing care? Do I need to go to assisted living? You know, those are important questions, Joy. And how do we start to address those?
Joy Loverde [:So so, Wendy, my model is not medical. My planning going forward is more based on a social model rather than a medical model. The reason I say that is there's no assumption or guarantee that we will eve even need care in our old age. My mother in point, she never needed a day of care in her life. She lived independently, 92, died in her sleep. And she was she was Italian mother cooking us dinner to the day she died.
Wendy Green [:Wow.
Joy Loverde [:So what so what we need to plan for because a lot of people don't we really don't know if we're gonna need care. But what are we gonna need? We're gonna need money. We're gonna need a roof over our head. We're gonna need to put our thoughts in writing and then get them legalized, and we're gonna need friends if we begin to outlive people who are in our families. So we are gonna need friends. So mine is more a social model, and that's also easier to swallow than, oh, you know, what about a nursing home or assisted living? We may not ever end up there. Hopefully not.
Wendy Green [:Hopefully not. And yet so many of those places you have to get on a waiting list.
Joy Loverde [:Oh, well, that's another conversation we could have another day. I I will tell you that the waiting list, because there are so many of us boomers, so people are assuming that they can move into, let's say, one of those life plan communities, we have 60 year olds today who are putting deposits down on a room that they will never use for 10, 15 years, but they are they are holding a place because they know that there will not be a place for them to live if they want that environment. They have to put they are putting deposits down today. So this is one of my biggest messages if you wanna live independently and you wanna live in a place that allows you to have an extremely high quality of life, there's already a waiting list.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. So that's part of the planning that you need to consider as you're thinking through all of this.
Joy Loverde [:Right. It just takes a phone call. If you if you start doing tours at 50, 60, even 70 years old, and you say, hey. You know, these places are pretty nice. And then you ask the question, well, what's it take to get in there? You wanna hear whether or not they have a wait list and how long that wait list might be.
Wendy Green [:Mhmm.
Joy Loverde [:There are no there are so many people aging at the same time. The boomers are are 77,000,000 in number. That the waiting list for not only where we wanna live, but some of the, some of the services that we want, huge waiting lists. So if if I'm a solo ager and, you know, I mean, I do have children, but I don't want them to
Wendy Green [:have to take care of me. Right? And so I need to put together a plan, and I need to make sure, like you said, have enough money.
Joy Loverde [:Mhmm.
Wendy Green [:Feel like, what happens if I can't drive anymore? You know? What happens if I need, somebody's I get sick, you know, and there's no one here to take care of me? I mean, it's it's these kinds of what ifs that make this planning so difficult, I think.
Joy Loverde [:That that would be overwhelming in terms of, well, how does it all come together? So one of the things that I like to tell people when they are beginning, besides the money, the next the next topic to address is the one you were just referring to, which is, believe it or not, housing. Housing takes care of a lot of problems. If you live in the right place, you don't have to worry about driving. You either walk or you have on demand. If you're worried about care, you live in a you don't live in a single family home. You live in in a situation like I do in an apartment building where I have 10 people, like I call it a moment's notice, and I am also helping many, many people, and we all help each other. Housing takes care of a lot of things, so I urge people to take a look at, if you're saying I wanna age in place, and your housing does not support you with the quality of life for the long run, then you're really just in denial of what you need to do for yourself, and that's do your homework and find out how can I live here forever? And don't forget how much money it costs to have people come in and do services. It's crazy.
Wendy Green [:That's such a good point. Because where I live, there's no buses that come through here. There's no way I can walk for groceries. So, yeah, that's a really good point. But then as I said in the beginning, you know, we talk about who will take care of us. But if I think about some of my girlfriends that are also single and that are childless by choice or their children live across the country, you know, I've never had that conversation with them about, have you thought about who's gonna take care of you? Are you thinking I am? You know? I mean, how do
Joy Loverde [:you have that conversation? You have it. You somebody's somebody chooses to have it. Hey, Jane. I think you and I need to have a very important conversation, and it has to do with our future. Would you be willing to have it with me? Is this something that we could do? And then you you choose a time and a place that's convenient and and a place where it's comfortable. It because I'm Italian, have it over a meal.
Wendy Green [:Glass of wine.
Joy Loverde [:Right. Restaurants are typically not a good place to have highly sensitive conversations. Usually, comfort of your home where you won't be distracted or somebody doesn't have to run and and and begin the conversation by saying, you know, I I am willing to bring this conversation up because it's important and we may need to talk about it. And here's the thing, Wendy, we need to we need to say to our friends now, I'm not a caregiver. I'm not the right person for the job. And because of that, we need to have a very important conversation about just in case you need care, how I'm not the right person, and and we I'll be happy to help you make a plan. But I'm telling you right now, it's just not not something I see myself doing. That's a very responsible thing to do with people that you love, your your friends right now.
Joy Loverde [:But I have other friends who say I'd do anything for you. Call me 2 in the morning. I'm all yours.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Right. And so but we all have to know ourselves and what we are capable and able to do and to give. And and you made a good point in your book too, Joy, about the financial side of that. You know? Like, if, like, if you have a super compassionate heart and your friend is struggling financially and you're like, well, don't worry about it. I'll pay for your Uber to the doctor. I'll I'll get your care you know, I'll get your house cleaned for you. Don't worry.
Wendy Green [:There's some risks in that. Right?
Joy Loverde [:Oh, it's huge. It's huge. And this is why even if you don't wanna talk about anything other than, than being with each other, The hardest conversation to have with a friend is, do you have enough money? Gosh. I can't
Wendy Green [:even imagine.
Joy Loverde [:Right. But what if they call you at 2 in the morning, you're there for them, and they say, I need to I need to do this, that, and the other thing. And, oh, by the way, I don't have any money. Yeah. Now when you rather find out now so that so that if you are a planner by nature and they are not, then then you know that there are ways to begin the process of researching what's available for them financially and including qualifying for programs where they could get a lot of services. But we gotta have these conversations.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. And you'd and you mentioned a lot of those programs in the book, which is helpful. And and as you said, if you can know ahead of time instead of in the middle of a crisis, then they're more prepared too.
Joy Loverde [:So much Wendy, I can't tell you how many times mostly females would come up to me in a talk, and they will say that their friends are disappearing left and right. When something happens, like, like, they they describe being deserted.
Wendy Green [:Really?
Joy Loverde [:Those are their words. I my friends are deserting me. I'm experiencing problems, and they're, you know, of all kinds, and they disappear.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Because they've they don't know how to handle it. They've never had that conversation. Yeah.
Joy Loverde [:Right. Right.
Wendy Green [:Beth raises a good, question here. She says, my sister is very independent. Thank goodness my nephew's been able to help, but I don't think she has a network like you describe. And what if she doesn't she's not open to you having that conversation with her, your sibling? You know? Like, I need you to get this in order because I don't want it to fall
Joy Loverde [:on me. Well, that's just a clear indication that we're not the right person for the job. We're not the right person to be an influencer. And I I understand the sibling thing because siblings tend to be quite guarded with their information. So the job our job as a sibling would be, I understand you don't want to talk with me about it, but who can you talk to that you trust and that you can bring this forward? You don't have to tell me anything, but I would be I am seriously concerned that you are planning and that you're getting stuff done. Would you do it do that at least for me?
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Yeah.
Joy Loverde [:So, I mean, this is no different than if we're having a conversation with a parent. Same thing. If if somebody wants to be guarded about their information, I I respect that. But I have to have evidence that they are moving forward in some way, shape, or form with planning. But I many times, I'm not the right person to talk with. Many times. Maybe it's a may it's an adviser of some kind. And you know from the book, there's a lot of free and low cost resources to get this info yeah.
Joy Loverde [:Oh, it I mean, that's where I spent most of my time because what bothers me about most most, most people's advice is, oh, just go talk to a lawyer or financial planner. Those people cost a lot of money.
Wendy Green [:That's right.
Joy Loverde [:What if you don't have money? So so I was very certain that having and offering low cost and no cost resources would be a a key component of that book.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Have you heard of the talk about death over dinner
Joy Loverde [:thing? And the death cafes? Yeah.
Wendy Green [:Yes. What do you think about that?
Joy Loverde [:I love them. I've been to I've been to several, and, they're not they're not conversations that are, there's no guide. You just all show up in a room willing to discuss whatever, comes up, and it has to do with death and dying, and conversations go all over the place. They're fascinating, and they're funny, and people have a great time, and and there's just a lot of relief in the room that they find like minded people who do wanna talk about death and dying. And once they get going, you'd be surprised. It's it's very enlightening.
Wendy Green [:I'm gonna have to try that sometime because Yeah. Because I think it would take some of the the fear away. You know? Like, I you sit here as a solo ager. You know, you sit here in your home, and you're thinking, okay. Everything's fine now, and and you don't know what's to come, and then you get scared. And and, you know and you know probably better than most of us. You know? Fear will stop you in your tracks. And so by initiating these conversations, whether it's with a friend or a family member or a child or whatever, you start to normalize it a little bit.
Wendy Green [:Don't you think?
Joy Loverde [:Absolutely. That normalize is a good word. Very good choice. Because and if you look out in the in the universe, there are there's no place to put this if someone does not want to engage with us in these conversations. On the other hand, when you start looking for them, there are many people who will engage in these kinds of conversations. It takes some doing on our part, but the safety in the room and the educational, elements are are priceless, Wendy. That's I think yeah. I'm sorry.
Joy Loverde [:Go ahead.
Wendy Green [:No. I was gonna say, so tell me about some of the conversations that you have to figure out who's gonna take care of you. Who have you talked to?
Joy Loverde [:Well, I give talks on 2 different levels. 1 is to the caregivers, and the other is to the actual solo agers. And by now, because we're all aging together, it's all mixed up So that we have people who are solo aging and they are they are coming up with what's interesting, like the common theme, is the quality of the relationships that they have, both as a caregiver and both as a solo ager. So the quality of relationships determines a lot on feeling like can can this be the beginning of a of a social network or in a support network? So those are the those are the highest themes that it's it's all about relationships. We hear a lot about technology. Right? And everybody's looking at a phone and thinking about getting an app and all that, but I have never ever seen a robot in the hospital radiating waiting room. Never.
Wendy Green [:That's right. So so
Joy Loverde [:the focus of most people's conversations is is is is our is the person who put the comment in the chat, how do we develop these kinds of relationships? Mhmm. That's key.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. It is key. And that's what, you know, I'm really trying to work on with Hey Boomer is to recognize that our relationships are so important to us as we age, and it's not like we have to have, you know, a 100 friends. Yeah. You only need a few, and I guess you need to recognize and not be disappointed. Right? So you may think, oh, this one's gonna be the one that's there for me. If they say they can't do it, love them anyway. They're they're being honest with you.
Joy Loverde [:That's right. So there's a part in the book that you you may have read already that asked the question, what kind of friend am I? So instead of trying to find friends, the first thing I do is look at myself. Great. And how am I as a friend? And there's even a an a self assessment checklist
Wendy Green [:Mhmm.
Joy Loverde [:In the book about am I am I truly treating my friends the way they deserve to be treated? Because in the long run, if they do end up being there for us, we've earned the right to have them in our life.
Wendy Green [:Beautiful way to put it. That's right. And it takes effort and energy to be a good friend.
Joy Loverde [:That's right. And the the obvious thing is is they do have to be local. If you have great friends all over, that's fine. But, again, finding outlets to gain friendships, begin the process of meeting people that you think have the possibility of being a friend has to be nearby. It could be in your building, like like, where I where I live, or it could be in one of these places where where it's, you know, active adults, 55 and over. Just but it has to be somebody who can run over Right. And say, hey. Okay.
Joy Loverde [:Let's go. We're gonna do this. But this all of what I'm describing takes time.
Wendy Green [:It does. So start now.
Joy Loverde [:Start now. That's it.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. And I think start to think about what kind of help you need. You know? Like, I think about when my mom or dad had to go to the doctor, you know, to have somebody go with them so that your eyes and ears for them, do you have friends that you would trust to know about your medical conditions that you would ask to go with you? Because you can't absorb it all at that point when you're the patient.
Joy Loverde [:That's right. That's right. We definitely that's a that's a great place to start. If as we're assessing our close relationships, would they be the type of person who would say yes to coming with me to to a medical appointment? You know, would would I be able to call them at 2 in the morning if I fell or or even, you know, have I been have I been communicating that I would be that person for them?
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Yeah. And then what other ways might you ask a friend that you might need help? What other things might you might ask them?
Joy Loverde [:It's easy. Social. Come over
Wendy Green [:and have coffee with me.
Joy Loverde [:Or or did you or do you get do you both get out of the house? I mean, it's really important to to get out there and be out and and and do things. What if your friend just likes to stay home? I mean, that that causes so social isolation in a hurry. So so you also this, like I said, this is not only about medical care by any stretch of the imagination. It really has to do with a high quality of life for having fun and doing things together that are enjoyable, inviting other people into into a circle of of friendships that develops over time, whatever. It could be book clubs. It could be it could be church groups. It could be a lot of things, but just not to just concentrate on health because, like I said, we may never really need help in that department, but, boy, if there wasn't a lesson we learned in COVID
Wendy Green [:Right.
Joy Loverde [:How much we missed our friends
Wendy Green [:We did, didn't
Joy Loverde [:we? Suffered emotionally. We suffered socially. We so we suffered spiritually. This is what friendships bring to the table, and we have to cultivate them. So I say the first thing is is are you with people you really have fun with?
Wendy Green [:And, you know, it almost redefines what you're saying about with the solo ager then. So don't really think of yourself as a solo ager. You can think of yourself as living alone but in a circle of friends. You know? Because I think that's what you're saying. That's so important whether we get sick or not, whether we need their help or not. We need them emotionally, spiritually, socially. You know? Do you remember
Joy Loverde [:how we all felt when we went to the restaurant the first time after COVID? And we thought we were let out of it was the most incredible feeling, and we couldn't get enough of the people around us. And we all we even strangers, we were so nice to everybody. We we were so we were so starved for somebody to be near and to and to see and to touch and to and to laugh with. That's what it's about.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. So your planner, no question about it. There are so many checklists and ideas in this book who will take care of me when I'm old. If I am not normally a planner, if our listeners are not inclined that way, what would you say would be the top three things for them to to focus on today or the over the next year?
Joy Loverde [:Number 1, how to finance a longer life. We're all living about a 3rd longer, and we know that if you retire at 50, 60, you have the possibility of financing a lot longer life than after work. So what does that look like to finance a long life? Secondly, housing. Where we live has everything to do with the quality of our life. So look at where you live. Are you you know, you're looking around it from a possible potential solo ager, will you be able to really age in place? Take a look at the questions that I I offer in the book and and just ask other people, what do I need to know? And the 3rd is putting all your wishes in writing and legalizing documents and doing your homework on what's available in terms of advanced directives and also just just a variety of agents who will come to your aid. They don't even in this day and age that you we don't have to be related to them, but we have to develop professional relationships now so that we can see if we really trust them. And then the question to ask those people is, hey.
Joy Loverde [:If you decide to retire or you decide to close-up shop and you're my adviser, what's your game plan? Because I need to
Wendy Green [:know. Right.
Joy Loverde [:And don't hire a professional unless they have an answer to that question, like a lawyer or a financial planner. Yeah. If you're not gonna be here, what's your succession plan? Because I'm counting on you, and there may be a time when I count on you when I I don't I can't even I may not have my my mental, capacity to to work any of this out. So how is that how does that work? We need to ask these people to cover cover our backs. And how are they gonna do that?
Wendy Green [:Yeah. That's good. My my question to you I mean, I've got the paperwork. I feel pretty good about that. Right?
Joy Loverde [:So Can I say something about your paperwork? Please do. It's it it also has a shelf life. As long as you have paperwork, that's great. You gotta look at it every 6
Wendy Green [:months. Every 6 months?
Joy Loverde [:Yes. Because you're naming people in those documents. Is that correct?
Wendy Green [:Yes.
Joy Loverde [:Okay. So they may meet they may move. They may die. They may get dementia.
Wendy Green [:Yes. That's true.
Joy Loverde [:Watch watch who you're naming and you may have to change the information in those documents. Because we're at a certain age where we're surrounded by people that we may be naming that are close in age to us or a little behind us, doesn't mean they can't die, move away, or get too much.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. Amy, thank you for this comment. She says she worked in elder care. She's up Northeast Maine, and she says many people who insisted on staying in their retirement home on their water on the water which was so far out of town and dangerous to get to in a storm. So extra important to consider the fact that help may not be able to get to you if you live in a faraway place.
Joy Loverde [:Thank you, Amy.
Wendy Green [:Yeah. That's great. And Doris reminded us that if you, have your paperwork and you move out of state, then you need to change who's gonna be there for you. Yeah. Good point, Doris. Thank you. But what I was gonna ask you and oh, and I have I think we also have to be sure that we update who we're talking to about these different like, you're gonna be my power of attorney, so this is what that means, and here's where my bank accounts are and all of that. Right? Obviously.
Wendy Green [:But, financially, okay, so we're 70. Chances of making too much more money at this point till it take us to a100 have diminished from when we were in our thirties and forties. And so how do you work that plan when you're you know, this is where you are now. This is what you have. How do you work that?
Joy Loverde [:You have to get professional advice at this point. They're gonna they're gonna ask you lots of questions. There are 2 professionals to speak with, a lawyer no. 3. A lawyer, a realtor if you own property, and a financial planner. And those 3 people must know about each other and work together to answer that question. Oh. Now if you don't have money, that's not that's okay.
Joy Loverde [:Then you go to the area agency on aging in your neck of the woods, and you ask them for the local Medicare and Medicaid offices and the Social Security office and you go sit down with them and say I don't have anything. I didn't plan. Help me out. What am I supposed to do? And they will tell you. Really? Yeah. So you got you have 2 roads. I got some money. I got no money.
Joy Loverde [:So
Wendy Green [:Alright. So you don't have to just give up.
Joy Loverde [:No. That's the point. You can I'm surrounded by, I live in a very interesting neighborhood where there are many people who are on, just living Social Security and also rent. They don't have anything else. But because I live in in a city that has an incredible program for older adults, I live in a, age friendly city. Chicago is designated, and they went through all this certification. If you choose to live in an age friendly city, there are many programs, and I mean they go to the opera. They get on buses and they go on tours.
Joy Loverde [:They go to they they go to, parks. They have a wonderful robust program here. Fitness. We have 12 fitness centers that are part of our area agency on aging. Wow. There is so much available. And, again, I talk about those low cost and no cost resources in the book because I believe we have all worked really hard to deserve the benefits. Now let's all take advantage of them.
Wendy Green [:Joy, this has been so helpful. A 1000000 more questions, I'm sure. Yeah. And people are going to get to ask you questions if they come to the Boomer Believer, session, which is going to be a week from Tuesday, so February 27th, I believe that is. And in order to do that, you can sign up right now by going to buymeacoffee.com/heyboomer0413. I can't wait to see what some of the other questions are that come out when we meet again because you are so knowledgeable and so I mean, this book, like, you can see where I have, my place mark because that's where I need to go back and get started on my on my work. You know? I felt like, oh, I'm good. I have my paperwork,
Joy Loverde [:but there's a lot more to it. Yeah. Just yeah. Little little tidbits like that. You know, I am always qualified anymore. I mean, at our age, we have we are surrounded by people who are experiencing forgetfulness, and and it's it's really opened my eyes to changing documents left and right.
Wendy Green [:Wow.
Joy Loverde [:I know. It's just the way it is. So it used to be we could say, oh, you know, you do it once. You're good to go. No. Not anymore. Every 6 months, I look at our documents.
Wendy Green [:Well, thank you. I'm gonna pull mine out here when we get off.
Joy Loverde [:I didn't mean to put you to work. Bye.
Wendy Green [:Oh, there's plenty of things I still need to do for sure to be ready. Joy's website is elderindustry.com, and there's so many resources on there. And you can also contact her through there if you have, if you wanna reach out or have her come as a speaker to one of your organizations. She is lovely. I absolutely adore her and so knowledgeable. So go to elderindustry.com and check out what Joy has to offer, and get her books. Both it's the elder care planner.
Joy Loverde [:The complete elder care planner. That's just as thick as the other one with with re with resources. I mean, I I'm a firm believer in helping everybody no matter how much money they have or don't have. It's it's that kind of world. We all need all the help we could get.
Wendy Green [:That's right. We all do. Thank you. So next week, my guest is Rob Schwartz. You all might remember him as the son of Morrie Schwartz, who has know, they wrote the book, Tuesdays with Morrie. And we're gonna look at caregiving from the child's perspective. So Rob was, like, a secondary caregiver for his dad. I was a secondary caregiver with my dad.
Wendy Green [:And, you know, what does that mean when you are the child and your parent is ill, and what is expected of you, required of you, what are you able to provide? So, I know that's gonna be an interesting conversation. Each episode of Hey Boomer is an invitation to listen, learn, and apply the wisdom gained from the episode to your own life. The path ahead may not always be easy or what you expected, but it's traveled best with support and shared insights. The Hey Boomer show is produced by me, Wendy Green, and the music was written and performed by Griffin Hanrato, who is a student at the North Carolina University School of the Arts, and my grandson. I know. Thank you, Joy.
Joy Loverde [:I can't thank you enough, Wendy. This has been awesome for me as well. Okay. See you
