Tired of pretending to be "normal" at work? Discover why masking your ADHD is secretly costing you 4+ hours of mental energy every day. From forgetting phone numbers to almost getting fired from Google, this episode reveals the real cost of hiding your neurodivergent superpowers2.

In this game-changing episode, you'll discover:

• The hidden "energy tax" of professional masking
• How to leverage your ADHD traits for career advancement
• A simple 2-second rule to stop unnecessary masking
• Real success stories of women who stopped hiding

Perfect for busy professionals who listen during lunch breaks or commutes. Includes actionable strategies you can implement today without risking your career

Hi, welcome back.

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Let me ask you something.

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Have you ever walked out of a

meeting so drained that you felt

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like you've just run the marathon?

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Except that you actually didn't do

anything at all except sitting there

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and nodding and smiling and trying

to look like you had it all together.

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Well, yeah, me too.

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Uh, and here's the thing.

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Masking ADHD at work

isn't just exhausting.

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It's actually like carrying a backpack

of 50 pounds around full of shoulds.

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I should sit still.

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I should remember this

without sticky notes.

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I should act just like

Karen from accounting.

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Because somehow she seems to

have her life all together.

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Well, that backpack, it's

why you're fried by 2 p.

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m.

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while Karen is still humming around.

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Like in a busy bee.

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A few years ago, I burned out so hard

that I forgot my own phone number.

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Literally.

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And why?

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Because I spent months, or

even years, pretending to be a

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neurotypical bobblehead in meetings,

and forcing myself into schedules

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that made my brain want to scream.

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Turns out, that professional mask

wasn't just uncomfortable, It was

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costing me an additional four hours

of mental labor every single day.

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Does that sound familiar?

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Well, today I am going to crack open

the truth about masking ADHD at work.

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And I will tell you why it's secretly

stealing your energy and your focus.

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But also how you can start to

unmask without risking your career.

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and lastly, we're going to discuss

what tools you need to turn your ADHD

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quirks into your biggest strength.

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Oh, and also stick around because I am

sharing a story about an ADHD coach.

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Who almost got fired from Google

before her diagnosis and how unmasking

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actually ended up saving her career.

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And it skyrocketed her productivity.

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So grab your coffee and let's do this!

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So for those that are new to my channel

and do not know me yet, I'm Sonja.

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I'm a neurodivergent mom of four and

I have a thriving career in tech and

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multiple businesses under my belt.

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I have been where you are.

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I've been juggling chaos, chasing

dreams and trying to make it

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all work without burning out.

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And this is the space where we get

real about navigating life with ADHD

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and turning what makes us different

into what makes us unstoppable.

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Whether you're here for practical

tips or just need someone who gets

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it, you're in the right place.

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All right, let's get real

about masking ADHD at work.

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If you've ever felt like you're

playing a role just to survive

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the day, well, you're not alone.

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Masking is basically pretending to be

the neurotypical version of yourself.

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So you don't stand out.

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And it's exhausting.

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Think about it.

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You're scribbling notes during a meeting,

not because you need them, but because

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you're terrified that somebody will

notice that you zoned out halfway through.

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Or maybe you're forcing yourself

to sit still when your brain is

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screaming for a fidget break.

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Well, that's masking.

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So, you can ask yourself, why do we do it?

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Well, for starters, there is unspoken

pressure to meet workplace norms that were

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never, ever designed for brains like ours.

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We've been told our whole lives that

we are too much of a lot of things.

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Too loud, too distracted, too

disorganized, too anything.

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And instead of embracing how

our brains actually work, we try

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to fit in to the mold that was

never ever ever meant for us.

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The issue is that masking

isn't just uncomfortable, it's

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actually extremely costly.

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Studies have shown that some women

with ADHD spend up to 7 hours

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a day masking their symptoms.

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I mean, 7 hours, that's like

working an extra shift every

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single day just to appear normal.

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No wonder that we're burned out by

2pm and ready to have a power nap.

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And let me tell you, masking doesn't

just drain your energy, it can

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actually make you worse at your job.

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And let me tell you, masking doesn't

just drain your energy, it can

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actually make you worse at your job.

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When you're so focused on hiding

your ADHD traits, you lose the

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bandwidth to actually do the work.

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I've seen it happen over and

over again with my clients.

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And honestly, I've lived it myself.

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So, now that we've unpacked what masking

is and why it's draining the life out

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of us, let's talk about some solutions.

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Because the truth is, unmasking doesn't

mean ripping the mask off all at once

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and throwing it in your boss's face.

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It's about taking small, intentional

steps to show up as your real self

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while still feeling safe and supported.

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Let's start with something really simple.

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It's called the two second rule.

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The next time that you catch

yourself hiding an ADHD trait,

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pause and ask yourself, is

this actually hurting anybody?

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Or am I just breaking some

unspoken neurotypical rule?

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For example.

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Fidgeting during a Zoom call.

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Harmless.

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It might even help you focus a bit better.

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But pretending you don't need deadlines

because you're afraid of looking

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difficult, well, that's dangerous.

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It sets you up to fail and reinforces

the idea that your needs aren't valid.

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The goal here isn't to stop

masking entirely overnight.

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It's to start questioning which part

of it are actually necessary and

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which ones are just weighing you down.

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Now, I know that the idea of

unmasking at work can feel terrifying.

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Because what if people judge you?

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What if your boss doesn't get it?

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That's where strategic

vulnerability comes in.

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Unmasking.

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Here's how it works.

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Instead of dumping all your ADHD

quirks on the table, you start

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really small, and frame your needs

as ways to improve your performance.

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So for example, try saying to your boss,

Hmm, I've noticed I contribute best

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when I have clear deadlines in writing.

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Can we test that on the next project?

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See what we did here?

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You are not making excuses and you're

not asking for special treatment.

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You're actually showing how

a small adjustment can help

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you do your job better.

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And most people, well,

they'll respect your honesty.

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So finally, let's talk about tracking

your masking habits with an energy audit.

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For one week, jot down every single

time you'd catch yourself masking.

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Whether it's forcing yourself to sit

still in a meeting, or taking detailed

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notes to cover up, or whatever.

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And then ask yourself, How much

energy is this person using?

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For example, that habit of furiously

note taking during meetings, it might

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seem harmless, but if it's draining

300 brain calories a day, just to keep

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up appearances, it's worth rethinking.

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Maybe instead of notes, you could ask for

a recording of the meeting, so you can

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actually focus on listening in real time.

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you know, unmasking isn't about being

rebellious or refusing to adapt.

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It's about finding a balance that

lets you show up as you, without

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burning out in the process.

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And trust me, once you start letting go of

those unnecessary masks, You'll be amazed

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at how much extra energy you get back.

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Okay, so what really happens

when you stop masking and

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start owning your ADHD at work?

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Because the thing is, unmasking

isn't just about survival, it's

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about unlocking your potential.

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And I've got a little story that's

perfect to show you what I mean.

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Jane is an ADHD coach now, but before

her diagnosis, she worked at Google.

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I know, it sounds fancy, right?

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Except that she was about

this close to getting fired.

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And why?

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Well, because masking her ADHD

made her worse at her job.

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She spent hours pretending she

didn't need help, forcing herself

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to follow neurotypical workflows

that just didn't work for her brain.

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And by the time she left the office,

every day, she was completely drained.

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And still, she felt like

she wasn't doing enough.

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Everything changed after her diagnosis.

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She decided to stop hiding and

start speaking up for herself.

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Instead of trying to keep up with verbal

updates in meetings, for instance,

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because they were a total nightmare

for her, she told her team, hey, I

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do better with written summaries.

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Can we try that?

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And guess what?

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Her productivity skyrocketed.

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She went from barely keeping

up to absolutely crushing it.

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Because she finally had the

tools she needed to proceed.

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And Jane's story isn't unique.

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it's proof that the very

traits that you're hiding might

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actually be your secret weapon.

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The key is finding ways to work

with them instead of against them.

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So here's my challenge to you.

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What's one small way that you

can start unmasking this week?

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Maybe it's asking for

deadlines in writing.

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Maybe it's letting yourself doodle during

meetings because it helps you focus.

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Or maybe it's something as simple

as saying, Hey, I need a quick

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break without apologizing for it.

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Remember, the energy you're spending

on masking could be going towards

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something much bigger, like building

a career that actually works for you.

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And trust me, once you start

showing up as your real self,

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the right people will notice.

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At the end of the day, authenticity

is felt by those around us.

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And we like authentic people.

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All right, that's it for now.

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I hope you're walking away with at

least one thing you can try this

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week to start unmasking at work.

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But before you go, I have

a little favor to ask.

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If this episode hit home for

you, I want to hear about it.

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So, please drop me a comment and tell me

What's one ADHD trait that you've been

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masking that you're ready to embrace?

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Or maybe you can share a funny

story about how you were masking

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and how it didn't serve you.

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I really would love to read through them.

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And hey, if you haven't already,

make sure that you like, subscribe,

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and follow so you don't miss

on any of our great episodes.

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And trust me, we've got some

amazing conversations coming

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up that you don't want to miss.

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Also, if you know someone who

needs to hear this, maybe your co

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worker who's always apologizing

for being scatterbrained,

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or your friend who secretly

color codes everything, then

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send this episode their way.

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Thanks for spending your time

with me today, and you're

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amazing, just as you are.

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Masks off and all.

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Stay hydrated, take a deep breath,

and I will catch you next time.