276: Real Talk on Taking Risks, Building Resilience, and Rising Up

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Episode 276 • 17th December 2024 • Burnout To All Out Podcast • Melissa Henault

Melissa Henault:

Ever wonder what goes on underneath the hood of my mind when I'm being mentored by my mindset and energetics coaches? Well, boy, do I have a special segment for you. Today, I'm bringing to you behind the scenes of an interview that I did with my spiritual and energetic mentors who've helped me navigate some of the biggest growth and the biggest challenges, successes, triumphs, and hardships in business, and nothing was off limits with these incredible mentors starting with Sam Harper who's worked with me personally over the last 2 years and with Preston Smiles who worked with me previous to Sam and, really, the identity shifts that I've made and the way I've maneuvered the challenges and the opportunities to hold more. Again, nothing was off limits in this discussion, and I think you guys are really gonna enjoy it. Again, it was a panel discussion at burnout to all out live where we brought in my mentors. Guys, that's the benefit of coming to my live events. You get to get in the room with the people who mentor me. I am not a gatekeeper hiding my mentors. I shine a spotlight on them so that you can learn from them.

Melissa Henault:

And I hope you really enjoy this episode and consider getting your ticket to burnout to all out live next year. Guys, our gold tickets sell out like nobody's business. They may already be sold out by the time you listen to this episode, but it's in a the the VIP days are incredible where you get to spend an incredible experience with the team and an intimate group. I I'm not gonna get into the details here in the intro, but listen to this episode and ask yourself, could I benefit from getting in the room and getting into more conversations like this for my own growth. I hope you guys enjoy this.

Melissa Henault:

Need some effective tactical advice that actually helps you get results and makes a real difference in your life and business? You've come to the right place. If you're finding yourself here today, it means you're getting ready to gain serious traction in your business, rapidly multiply your income and impact, and you're ready to make it happen while living all out. Guys, I'm Melissa Hanault, your trustworthy corporate dropout turned 6 figure business burnout turned happy and healthy CEO of a multimillion dollar online business. And you're listening to the Burnout to All Out podcast. On this show, we're serving up innovative growth strategies, simple implementation methods to put them into practice, and action stimulating inspiration tailored specifically for the modern entrepreneur. Let's dive in. I want you to come back to these stories. One of the most impactful things I've done this year is do these reflections, put them in a journal, and now you have a peer who also has a story.

Melissa Henault:

And when you're in the depths and the dark, I want you to go to this. I want you to remind yourself of when you're in the thick of it, that you're just being chiseled. You're being molded. You're being molded for the capacity to hold more. I'm gonna have you guys share in just a second. I want to end on this note and then I wanna hear some insights that some of you guys heard. But I wanna share this. Some of you guys may or may not be Swifties, but we are in our house.

Melissa Henault:

been sold to a hedge fund in: 2019

Melissa Henault:

Of course, Taylor was successful and popular before this, but because she was releasing music basically nonstop for 4 years, she became the center of culture, catapulting herself to a level of pop stardom not seen since the Beatles. Here's the key. But it's not simply that she became bigger and more popular as a result, or that she seized control over something that was previously outside of her control, but it's that the songs got better. Her concerts got better. She got better. On top of all of that, she made herself the underdog in the process. It was quite the move she pulled off, one without parallel. It was also a remarkable example of taking something you never would have chosen.

Melissa Henault:

Do you think that Taylor ever would have chosen this? Do you think it was a rock bottom moment where she felt like she was dying? She never would have chosen this path. So, in this remarkable example of taking something you never would have chosen, something you thought was profoundly unfair, and using it as fuel to find new potential within yourself because it's what we do after the thing that happens to us that matters. And I hope this story of Taylor inspires you, that we don't necessarily choose what's thrown at us, but it's how we respond, and how it changes us and how it can make us better. Alright. So you guys have your inspirational stories now of when things go south. Are you actually headed up? And can you be patient enough and quiet enough to be still and listen to the gifts that you're receiving, that you're being molded? So I'm so excited for this next segment. You're gonna get the behind the scenes with my current spiritual mentor and executive coach and past spiritual mentor, and I've just got some pointed questions that I'm gonna ask them. But before I bring them up, because you guys have formally heard Preston's bio, if you're a VIP, you heard Sam's bio yesterday, but some of you haven't met Sam yet.

Melissa Henault:

So before I bring her up for the panel, again, I wanna give kind of my personal bio for Sam first. I met her a couple of years ago with her beautiful sound. I was at an event where she played some bowls, and I found them to begin pairing really nicely with the studies I was doing in nervous system regulation and really getting into breath and getting certified in hypno breath work. I'm always investing in mentors that can help me see what I can't see and can help me grow and see ahead and help me think through things. I started with Sam 2 years ago, right before the rocket ship really started to take off. I signed on with her as a client. Initially, I wanted to go, like, right into the spiritual journey. I was really open to learning new spiritual practices to get even more connected with my purpose, get more connected with impact, and learn how to really slow down and get more spiritually aligned.

Melissa Henault:

And it's been such a beautiful journey with her because it started with spiritual practice and has really evolved into, like, everything as she really sits in a role as, like, an executive coach for me and spiritual mentor and trauma therapist and all the things. And so I wanted to make sure that's my personal bio of Sam, but her professional bio, let me share that with you, is that she's a sound healer, a 3 time cancer survivor, and clinical trauma therapist turned executive coach. Her approach to conscious leadership fuels, I'm sorry, fuses her clinical experience with her intuitive gifts to offer clients a path towards more self awareness, curiosity, and growth. She provides a safe place for you to regulate your nervous system, connect with your own intuition, and gain clarity on the next intentional steps. She equips you with practices, tools, modalities, and understanding that will propel you into the next version of yourself. So with that, I am so excited to invite you, Sam, up to the stage and also invite Preston up to the stage once more.

Sam Harper:

We're here for it.

Melissa Henault:

Alright. So this is gonna be so much fun. So I've just got some questions that I wanna ask you guys if you're up for it. So I'm just gonna fire them off, And we'll just start with some of my stories and, like, working with you guys and kind of draw some parallels to your own, like, personal experiences and practices. So, I wanted to start, Sam, with you, because we talked about this, like, expansive year last year and this constant story of fear of success and fear of calling in more. Mhmm. And you really worked with me a lot last year, like, as the rocket ship was taking off, mentoring me that it was okay to continue to embrace and ask for more and work through the fear of the success. You know, I'm an open book, so you can share with these guys anything.

Melissa Henault:

But really just speaking to and, Preston, feel free to jump in. But just the skills that you coach to help entrepreneurs and help me work through that true fear of a couple of things. Do I have the capacity to hold it? Mhmm. Am I worthy of this? What are people gonna think? How is it gonna impact my relationships? So let's just speak to that is how you work with clients to coach through that true fear of taking on

Sam Harper:

too much or calling more in. Right. I think that we all have our own internal ceilings that we've been conditioned to build, or somebody has told us something that you should be afraid of this, or you shouldn't ask for too much, or you should be humble. We've heard that. Right? Like, don't talk too much about yourself or quiet yourself or only be this much of yourself. When we talked about that a little bit last night and being authentic in who you are. And when you are up against face to face, eye to eye, toe to toe with fear, that's just showing you what is important to you. What means something to you? Because fear wouldn't be there if it wasn't significant.

Sam Harper:

Right? And so I come in to help you get closer to that fear, not further away from the fear Mhmm. But it's like, how close can we get

Sam Harper:

Yeah.

Sam Harper:

To the thing that scares you the most? And then I'm like, okay. Hold my hand. Yep. Hold my hand.

Melissa Henault:

We're going. Jump.

Sam Harper:

We're jumping and without the parachute. Right? Right. Because there will be a soft landing. It's probably gonna look a lot different than you expect. And I think that's what we are doing last year or this even this year

Melissa Henault:

Right.

Sam Harper:

Of meeting yourself where you're at in that fear, and then saying, oh, no. I got this because we all have so much historical evidence of the times that we overcame fear. So you're capable of overcoming it again. And now it's just strapping on those new tools and using them to your advantage and going to the next level. And I always say when abundance is here, Palms open. Thank you. More, please. And with fear.

Sam Harper:

Thank you for the fear. You're showing me what's important. More, please. Because I know if I'm that close to fear, I'm that close to achieving the thing that I really, really want.

Sam Harper:

Mhmm.

Sam Harper:

And I think that's what we were working on a lot. And now look at where you're at. Yeah. It's been amazing. Right.

Melissa Henault:

Yes.

Sam Harper:

Make friends with fear. Fear is your friend. It's not your foe.

Melissa Henault:

Yep. So good. Mhmm. Anything you wanna say additionally to that, Preston, or you want me to jump into another one?

Preston Smiles:

She she nailed a lot of it. I'll just remind us all that we don't know enough to decide whether something's working out or not working out. And the human brain is only built to actually be able to receive and hold only so much. And so the rest of the time we're deleting, distorting, and generalizing. And so because I know that about the mind, when I start going into these woe is me collapse states about things, I remind myself, a, you don't know enough to know whether this is working out for you or not. And b, you're probably deleting, distorting, and generalizing some of this because you're afraid to go into the thing. The part that's really important I spent last year, I went into the woods and I spent 8 days there, 4 of which I was by myself with 2 gallons of water, no food, no tent, just in the darkness in the woods. And I would notice that there would be these different ant piles and each ant mound and pile that was living in this particular part of the forest to those ants in that mound, life was super important.

Preston Smiles:

And yet if I just walked by and kicked it, it's gone in a second. And so they could dress their mound up and put it in Gucci and get Birkin bags and do all the things. But the reality is, is that here today, gone tomorrow. And to me, none of us can afford to get to that last breath, that last moment, that last second, and be like, oh, yeah. I played small the whole time. Like, that's the worst thing you could do to yourself is not run towards what you're most afraid of because what imprisons us also points to our freedom. They go together.

Melissa Henault:

So good.

Sam Harper:

Mhmm.

Melissa Henault:

So when we talk about so there's the fear of success. There's also fear of failure. Both of you have worked with me with different modalities for nervous system regulation. I know, Preston, you even had me doing the primal screams. My kids, Walker and Wesley are still here. I remember there were moments you guys remember the primal screams? There were times where even my kids would say, can I do the primal scream? It's my turn. Right? Awesome. And the and the laughter, the the joy the joy timer.

Melissa Henault:

Do you guys remember the joy timer? It would go off, and I would start laughing, like, hysterically. And you guys thought I was crazy. And then Walker, I don't know if you remember this, but I hope you don't mind me sharing this. One day, I picked them up from camp, and they had been conditioned to this timer going off. And even though it was silly, like, they would play along with it. They got in the car, and I asked how everybody's day was. And Walker was like, camp was kinda tough today. He said, can we have one of those laugh things? Do you remember that, Walker? And we all laughed in the car, like, on the way home, just to reset.

Melissa Henault:

So, can you guys share just some tactical examples with these guys, some modalities for nervous system regulation, some of the things that you do and that you work with your clients on to regulate when they're under significant stress or just dysregulated?

Sam Harper:

Okay. There's so many things for those of you who don't know. I was a trauma therapist for almost a decade before I transitioned into the work that I do now. And so I've gathered through my education and my experience and a lot of trial and error with clients, a lot of different modalities that help. And I can offer some things out, but also I think the very first thing is to trust your instincts on what you need. Your body will tell you what you need first. We were both back in the back. Didn't know that we were both doing this.

Sam Harper:

We were both out there bouncing and I looked over and I was like, oh, I was just doing that too. So my body, I wasn't thinking, oh, what am I gonna do before I go on stage? My body was just doing it. So somatic release, that means letting energy out of the body moving. That's a primal. Right? Our bodies want to do that, to shake. When animals get hurt, they shake to reset their nervous system and then they go. Mhmm. They pretend like they're dead.

Sam Harper:

They get up, shake, vibrate, and then they're out. Cats, they purr, not because they're having a good scratch behind the ear. Yes, that too. But because the frequency of their purr is healing their body. And so things like this, right? So vibration, frequency, primally moving the body organically I love an internal I was telling somebody this yesterday I don't remember who it was, but when we have energy locked in our bodies, our own vibration is going to heal us. Not something on the outside, what is already innately within us. So I would say start there for sure. And then I have a million other biohacking things that you can do.

Sam Harper:

Obviously the nutrition, I do red light therapy every single day. I have a vibration plate that I stand on in between clients. I go on my walks, I do meditation, I do all the things. But truly, honestly, listen to yourself. And if you can't hear that guidance, sit still and get really quiet until you can hear the faintest whisper and then trust. Trust, trust, trust.

Preston Smiles:

Dope. She's the pro. I'll add that going into nature never hurts.

Melissa Henault:

Mhmm.

Preston Smiles:

We live in a fast paced, low touch society where things are constantly dinging and moving and going. And one of the best things I believe humans can do for themselves is to go to a place where there isn't as much of that and be still and listen. Now to even get there, the most important piece to me in all of the openings when it comes to helping people move through their own trauma and shame and guilt is breath. Mhmm. We have this little almond shaped thing inside of our brains. The moment we think we're in danger called an an amygdala. And when that thing fires off, we go into a stress response. And what happens is most people go into it a lot and they never come out.

Preston Smiles:

They never give the body the signal that it is now safe again. I'll give one example. Again, I do this work in workshops form. You've done this more in 1 on 1 fashion. Right?

Sam Harper:

Both. Yeah. Yeah. But yep.

Preston Smiles:

So I'll have somebody, and this is gonna be a heavy example, but I've heard this example multiple times where a woman will come, she'll be in the workshop and we'll speak to the thing and she'll say, yeah, I was 16 or 18 and I was drinking with my friends. And next thing you know, I'm upstairs in a party and the whole football team is having SEX with me. Right. And I'll say, what'd you do after? And oftentimes, what will she'll say is, like, oh, I just, like, hurried up and got dressed and, like, went home. And I was like, and and then what'd you do? Well, I I had to go to work. Okay. So you and then what'd you do? Well, then I just went to work the next day, and then I did x. And and never did she give her body the opportunity to come out of that stress response.

Preston Smiles:

And so that becomes like a frozen thing inside of her her body that now every room she enters, that's there too. And so, again, a lot of times, when we think about success in our business and things of that nature, we don't understand the nonlinear aspect of healing your body and the stuff you've been through to create the capacity for the thing you're desiring to have. Is that making sense? So that was a very extreme example. And yet there are many others where it's as simple as neglect. I'd be really curious how many you grew up in a household where you didn't hear I'm proud of you. I love you much. Right? That's, like, half the room. That is a form of trauma.

Preston Smiles:

And when you're 7 and 13 and 16, that you don't understand how to really register that. You don't understand what's actually happening, and it's over time. It's acute. It's it's there's a lot going on there. And so to me, everything she said and get into nature and get back to your breath as soon as humanly possible.

Melissa Henault:

Oh, good. Okay. This is a good one. This is like a selfish question I wanna know. Because you've heard me talk about, like, rock bottom moments. And your mentors, your healers, I'm a mentor. So when you're faced against your own depths of the shadows, the valley of dark, how do you work through that while creating capacity to hold for others?

Preston Smiles:

Yes. Can we go first?

Sam Harper:

You, nurse.

Preston Smiles:

Okay. When fellow trauma nerds find each other, we're like, yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. It's such a thing. Okay. So just know that's gonna happen here.

Preston Smiles:

an opportunity in New York in: 2015

Preston Smiles:

And I instantly knew I was there. I knew. So I ran straight to her and I watched her gasp and struggle to live. It didn't matter if her taxes were done. It didn't matter if her and her best friend were on good terms. It didn't matter if she felt like her outfit was nice that morning. She wanted to live. How do I know? I watched her.

Preston Smiles:

Long story short, there was a moment where it was so gory, and I'll spare you some of the details, but her her brains were out the back of her head. And there was a moment I closed my eyes. I went to her feet. I started praying with her. There was a doctor and a nurse there. I saw one moment where the where the nurse put her hand like this, and she said, ma'am, and she was trying to talk to her. And she when she pressed right there, bloods spat out of her mouth. Long story short, I had a moment where when I was in that prayer state, spirit said, open your eyes.

Preston Smiles:

It's time. Now open my eyes, and I watched her take her last breath. Her name is Amelia Styrintle. I found out there was articles and all that stuff about it later. This was on Mother's Day, day before Mother's Day in New York City. And to answer your question, when you get that close to death, you realize that anything that way is pretty awesome, including the downs and including the ups. I like to ride all the waves to the best of my ability and see because there's a difference between pain and suffering. And to me, suffering is caused by being so attached to what you think it should be.

Preston Smiles:

Mhmm. And so because I've seen and experienced violent death in that way, I'd never been the same ever since. Like, literally never been the same. It traumatized me for quite a while, and I still if you walk down the street with me right now and we cross the street, I would look 35 times. You'd look twice. I'd look I'd be like you wouldn't understand that the PTSD is still living in my body from seeing somebody die like that is there, but I also see the gift in it. So all that to say, I do get my ass kicked quite a bit. Not quite a bit.

Preston Smiles:

Probably it's always in relationship. It's always wife stuff. It's like everything else is a piece of cake. Being married is not easy. And you guys know what I'm talking about here. I also get that the mirror can't smile before I do. Mhmm. And so I tend to just get what's actually happening and love the pain, if that makes any sense.

Sam Harper:

Mhmm.

Melissa Henault:

So good. Thank you.

Sam Harper:

Okay. So this summer, this is a very poignant time to be asking this question. I catapulted myself into a really deep healing this summer, and I put myself into a spiritual sabbatical because I had been feeling for a long time. I'd been holding space for so many people and it was time for me to hold space for me in some unresolved areas of my life. And as you heard, I'm a 3 time cancer survivor, and I never grieved that.

Sam Harper:

Woah.

Sam Harper:

Right.

Sam Harper:

Woah. Wow.

Sam Harper:

That's crazy. And it was just something on my checklist of like, okay. I survived. Did it. Got another check. Survived that. Okay. 3rd time.

Sam Harper:

Cool. Check. We're good. Keep going. And never did I stop to feel the gravity of what that meant for my life and how I survived. And I couldn't even think about like the survivor's guilt that I had, even that was too heavy. I couldn't go there. And then this year I was with my therapist.

Sam Harper:

All therapists need therapists. All healers need healers. All mentors need mentors. Let's just like say that. So I was talking to my therapist, and I said, I think it's time we start talking about my cancer. And she said, what? You had cancer? And I was like, 3 times. And she was like, okay. We need to talk.

Sam Harper:

And so I ended up going to Europe, and there's a whole another side story to that. Anyway, beautifully divine. And the first time I had cancer, I was supposed to be studying abroad in Italy, but was diagnosed and couldn't go. And then I thought, okay, maybe after grad school, I'll go. And then I had my son and I was like, okay, maybe sometime I'll get to Italy. And it was this now was the time. And when I was in Italy, it was really this redemption trip of reclaiming my life and really looking at the hardest parts of my life that I didn't think were hard because I couldn't bear looking at it. And I grieved really hard.

Sam Harper:

And it was really difficult. You would think, oh, Italy, so beautiful. Aperol Spritz, Amalfi Coast. No.

Melissa Henault:

It was not nice. Italy is

Sam Harper:

it was very hard, but so beautiful. So there's this polarity of looking at it and being in the dark and hurting and waking up in pain, both physically, mentally, spiritually. It was it was really difficult for me. But, I knew that if I didn't go do that, if I didn't go address it, that I was prolonging this pain. Mhmm. And, it wasn't only not fair for me. It wasn't fair for my son as being a parent. It wasn't fair for the people that I work with.

Sam Harper:

It's not fair for the future that is awaiting me that needed a more expanded version of me. I needed to go deal with it. And so it took me a long time to deal with that one thing. I thought, oh, I'm dealing with all these other traumas in my life. I've got it figured out. And this one thing over here, I'll just tuck that to the side. But we can't just tuck things to the side. And so you have to face them head on.

Sam Harper:

And I created space and time for me to do that. I told all of my clients, I'm taking all of July off. You can text me if there's an emergency, but I trust that you got this. And so I empowered my people to not need me, but always. Right? Like always. It's like, you got this. You can touch base.

Melissa Henault:

I was in Ireland when you were in Italy. Remember that? Yeah.

Sam Harper:

Oh my gosh. It was a mess. Anyway, I had set it up to create space so that I could go into my own healing. So if you're in a place that you need to start doing some healing, you have to create the space to honor it and to be in it and to meet yourself in that space to not only for you, but it's for everybody who is around you. So it's a responsibility to do your own healing.

Melissa Henault:

Yes. So good. So good. Okay. So this is good. I'm gonna, like, pivot into business now Mhmm. Because you're both badass, wildly successful business owners Thank you. And you're in the spiritual space.

Melissa Henault:

I guess where I wanna go with this question is taking calculated risks. And because both of you are very intuitive, and I'm just curious in your kind of entrepreneurial journey, like, how and when you take calculated risks that have created this larger than life brand and business and impact that you guys have today?

Sam Harper:

Yeah. I'll say what I'd done really well is understand what really matters to me, because I'll give you just like a short thing. There was a moment when I was living in a bungalow in Venice beach. I still had the beat up Prius, but I had a half a $1,000,000 in my account. And I was surfing every day. I got my wife, our new child, the whole thing. And I had friends who had $3,000,000 businesses and I'm making $600,000 a year and keeping 4. And I had friends that were making $3,000,000 and keeping 2.

Sam Harper:

And so the ego mind wanted to chase the $3,000,000 business, but the truth was is that I was already living the dream right where I was. And sometimes, I'll say it like this. I live in a mansion right now on 4 acres, and I have all the things, and I got the fancy G Wagon and the old school cars and all the toys and all the things you could ever want I have right now. And what I tell my students in spiritual millionaire academy all the time is is you can only shit on one toilet a day. You can only be in one room, whether you have 45 rooms or 2 rooms or 1. The biggest difference, the thing that makes you a a spiritual millionaire is not how many rooms you have, but the consciousness you bring to those rooms.

Preston Smiles:

Are

Sam Harper:

you bringing prison consciousness or paradise consciousness? Because I choose paradise consciousness. So all that to say, as I'm setting up things for my business, here's what I think all of you need to hear in some sense. And I've taken this. I introduced it to you, the the one thing concept Mhmm. Where I will choose one thing. Let's say I have 5 ideas. Who's one of those people who has, like, 27 things you could do, and you could do this one and this one and this one and this one. Yeah.

Sam Harper:

So I'll take the 27 ideas, and I'll narrow it down to, like, the top 5 top 5 things that will produce the highest income and impact. Then inside of that 5, I'll go, let's go to 3. Then from the 3, I'll go, okay. What are the top 2 here that if one of these took off, it can create space for the 27? Does that make sense? So then I choose 1. Just intuitively choose 1. And whatever I choose, I go all in on that thing until, like a airplane, until we are in the sky, cruise control. It's on autopilot. I got stewardess.

Sam Harper:

Everybody's taking care of the plane. Then I go, pop the hatch, put on my thing, jump out, and go get the next thing. But I don't go get the next thing until the current thing is genuinely taken care of. Does that make sense? Yeah. And the beautiful thing about Internet based businesses, if any of you have anything like that, is you can make your overhead really low and your profit extremely high. And so what I did over time, I knew I wanted a bunch of houses. I knew that my mom had never lived in a brand new house ever, and I knew that I wanted to buy her one. So instead of me getting fancy cars and doing all of that stuff, I lived, quote, unquote, below my means.

Sam Harper:

. So when we got to Austin in: 2019

Sam Harper:

That's 1. Few months later, we're hanging all these real estate people. I'm starting to see how the game works. Boom. Let's buy another one. This time, it's my mom's brand new house. 6 months later, another one. A year from there, another one.

Sam Harper:

I was ready because I was now overlapping with that. Each time I did something that worked well, I just took money off the top and put it over here for the thing that I cared about most. That's what I did.

Sam Harper:

Awesome. Yep. I love that. For me so talking about, like, the intuitive risk taking.

Melissa Henault:

Yeah.

Sam Harper:

Another thing that happened this this year has been a really transformative year. It's a completion year. It's a rebirth, a death and rebirth year. I had opened up a brick and mortar after I thought it was gonna take me 10 years to open a brick and mortar. I really wanted this space, but I was like, at some point I'll be able to do that. And divine timing happened and this perfect place landed in my lap. My name was on the building before I even went into it. It was really it was so cool.

Sam Harper:

I went to go look at the space, and it said Harper Studios. And I was like, obviously, it's mine.

Sam Harper:

And I

Melissa Henault:

was like, this is definitely a sign.

Sam Harper:

And then it was zoned at 143, which is my thing. I love you. It's tattooed on me. Anyways, like, this is the thing. And so 10 years turned into 2 years after inception. And I was like, well, this timeline is moving really fast, but this is amazing. I'm gonna jump before I'm ready. And obviously the signs are here for guidance.

Sam Harper:

I'm gonna trust this. I did not have the capital at the time. Like I had enough. I was like really scraping by like pulling money out of my pocket to like, it was very scrappy we'll say, but it was happening because intuitively it was right. It was a full body fuck yes. It was like absolutely 100%. And I knew as soon as I signed the lease, I heard you're not gonna be here for long. And I was like, what? Wait a second.

Sam Harper:

I thought I thought, that's the problem.

Melissa Henault:

I thought. Right? You thought. Uh-huh.

Sam Harper:

And I heard from God that you'll be here for a year and then you're gonna hand it all over. And I said, okay. I will trust that. And a year came and whoo, was it clear as ever that it was time to go, but I overstayed my welcome because God was like, I told you a year. And it was like a year and 4 months. I didn't stay that much extra, but enough from I wanted to make the decision. I didn't wanna be told. It was like, I'm in Enneagram 8.

Sam Harper:

Yeah. But in that, I was trying to strategically plan my exit and the sale of my portion of the business, which I did. And it was really scary because also from a perception point of view, my community saw me building this really amazing brick and mortar. Like it was finally starting to grow. All the money I put into marketing was finally starting to work. And I said, and now I'm out. Mhmm. Bye.

Sam Harper:

And that was 2 days before I went to Italy. Okay. So we'll we're painting a bigger picture here. And I had planned for the spiritual sabbatical, and it was all really divinely orchestrated, but not in the way that I thought it was going to be. But because I listened a little later than I was supposed to, I listened though and I sold, I I got out. And in the time that I had, really being quiet and not listening to any outside influences, only listening to divine guidance, then I was able to land things I never thought were possible. So opportunities were falling into my lap that I was able to say yes to because I didn't have an anchor to a brick and mortar. And it looked like I shouldn't have left the brick and mortar because it was really starting to pop off.

Sam Harper:

And so what I'm getting at here is that it doesn't need to make sense.

Preston Smiles:

Mhmm.

Sam Harper:

And that it doesn't need to be in line with what you believe should be the path and the way. It looks very different when you're listening intuitively. And because of that, I'm saving so much money, which I'm able to invest in other areas of my work. And bigger opportunities are coming in because I said, okay, I'm surrendering. But that all came through a lot of intuitive guidance, and it's been amazing for my business, and it doesn't make sense. And so just plan for the unexpected and allow yourself to be open to what the universe has in store for you. And I promise you, it will work out. I promise you.

Sam Harper:

Maybe not in the timing that you want. We'll talk about that later, but timing is a whole another what is time? Yeah. What is time anyway?

Melissa Henault:

Well, that brings That's perfect because it brings me to my next question. Mhmm. We talk about timing. So I'm just getting some free coaching here. Right? And you guys can listen. So this is something I struggle with, and I don't know if some of you guys do. The whole, like, being present in the moment, I practice this. Even this morning when I was sitting in meditation, it was, like, bringing me to this moment in this space right now and living a life like that.

Melissa Henault:

And we're CEOs of businesses where we have to look ahead. And I think that's the biggest like dance for me is how do I stay present and not get too wrapped around the axle and obsess about the future, but also be a smart CEO in anticipating the future and future moves, but not obsessing over it and being present. Do you get what I'm asking?

Sam Harper:

I do. I think there's a common misconception about leadership being me having to do it all. And I think it was Martin Luther King that said, I don't have to know. I just have to know the knower. And I forget this woman's name who asked about thy will be done versus my will earlier. Right? My belief is that spirit sends messengers. Right? And when the teacher is oh, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and and everybody's his teacher. And so what I do is I choose, but don't want.

Sam Harper:

That's the first place we start with. Like, my team will say, okay, here's the launch. How do you want this to look? And we'll do good, better, best. So good would be this many people in the academy. Better would be this, best would be this. And I say, thy will be done. Game on. Because I already heard the call.

Sam Harper:

That's why we're doing the thing. Now my team will come sometimes, and this is the piece I wanna really hit on, is my team will come and they'll say, oh my god. This happened a year or so ago where we were launching what's now spiritual millionaire academy. And I said, hey, we're gonna sell it right now off this webinar. And it won't start until 6 months from now. And my team was like, no one's gonna buy that. No one will buy it. They're not gonna wait 6 months.

Sam Harper:

Well, this is my job now to be in the CEO leadership visionary perspective. I heard them, but I'm steering the ship from the affirmative. I've heard the call. They're down on the ground doing the work, digging the ditches with me. And so I said, yes, they will. Watch. Well, of course, that was one of our biggest launches. And it was one of those things.

Sam Harper:

And we've had the opposite. Let me just say this right here. I've had the opposite happen where I've said something, and it didn't turn out the way we thought it was. But for me, it's high intention, low attachment. And so I have a lot of, like, let's freaking go, but I'm not attached to what it's gonna look like because I've designed a life where I'm winning no matter what. And what I find that happens with a lot of CEOs and coaches and people in the space is they are so dependent on it working that they squeeze the life out of it.

Sam Harper:

Yeah. Mhmm.

Sam Harper:

And so when I choose a mountain top, let's say we're headed towards that mountain, but, a train comes through. Well, I don't cry about the train. I'm like, oh my god. We get to look at a train go by now. Mhmm. Or we get to find a new route, or we get to choose a new mountain. And because of that nimbleness of, like, got it. This is the new dance we're doing.

Sam Harper:

I don't have as many let downs. That makes sense.

Melissa Henault:

Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Sam Harper:

Yes. Okay. So presence over strategy?

Melissa Henault:

Yeah. How do you balance looking ahead and being strategic, but not getting too far ahead and staying present as a CEO of your business.

Sam Harper:

Okay. So for me, the trick is I don't get too wrapped up in the excitement of what is coming. I am excited when it's happening. And so, yes, I have things I wanna do in Q1, 2, 3, and 4, and I keep a lot of space for the unexpected or opportunity to come in. And so I create enough that's gonna give me my foundation. So I'm not stressed out because we need that. We need that security to like good. I have space to have a little bit of room, a wiggle room.

Sam Harper:

And then everything else that comes in is a cherry on top, but I don't get too excited about it. It's not that I'm not excited about the things. I just this is about energy reserve too. I reserve my energy for the present moment because then I can use the fullest capacity of that energy here now. Mhmm. So I used to be like really excited for the things that were coming, and then some of those things wouldn't work out and I would be disappointed. And so my expectation was diffusing my present energy. And so I don't do that anymore.

Sam Harper:

I, I reserve my energy for now. And I think that that's really important for all of us too. That is the strategy. That is how to strategically position yourself is how much energy do you have in this present moment? How locked in are you here right now? Or are you thinking about what happened yesterday? Are you thinking about, oh, what strategy am I going to implement in my, in the last quarter of this year? There's still so much time, right? You're wasting your time by not being here. Use all of your capacity here in this moment. And then that gives you the energy to strategically plan ahead. Mhmm.

Sam Harper:

Can I just tap on this for a second? Do you guys know that whole thing around, like, drunk drivers when they crash that they often don't get hurt and scream it out? Why don't they get hurt? That part. Mhmm. To me, it's it's what you're saying. It's one of the biggest pieces to the whole thing is if I am not deifying this end result, if I'm not deifying what Mount Everest is going to be for me, then it's a pleasant surprise and not my God. And I think that a lot of people have, again, put their businesses and future relationship and x, y, and z on this pedestal over there. And the big game is to be, if I love here and now, and we were talking about this at lunch, if nothing changed ever again in your life forever, where would you need to go internally such that you would love your life as it is? Because if you can answer that question and actually work on it, then you get a cherry on top every single day. Everything extra is like, I'll take it because I won right here.

Sam Harper:

Yeah. I don't

Sam Harper:

need my husband to be different. I don't need the the world. I don't need I'm not externalizing my power anywhere, and I love this. Now when it comes to dating, you guys ever how many you've ever dated or went there with somebody because they're they were so nonchalant about their energy. You ever have somebody you take their energy away and you're like, wait a minute. You sure you don't wanna date me? It's that thing. The moment you don't need it, you're a magnet for it. And I think that's a big piece to the whole thing.

Sam Harper:

Yeah. Yeah. I love the color that you added to that. It was beautiful. Yeah. Yes. So that.

Sam Harper:

Yeah. I just jumped off of what you said. It was awesome. Yeah.

Melissa Henault:

So good. Okay. So I mean, I could ask a million more questions, but I wanna make sure what's the last couple of minutes that we open up for the group. So where are my mic runners? Alright.

Sam Harper:

Sacred mic runners.

Melissa Henault:

So I just wanna open it up for you guys. Questions that you have for these guys. Me too. Anybody? Nothing. Yep. Go ahead. Wesley Christian.

Sam Harper:

Christian James Raphael. Was that it? Is that it? Yeah. No. Look at that. Thank you. Listening.

Preston Smiles:

So thank you so much. I said this to my man here earlier, Preston. And for all of the sacrifices that you all made that we'll never know about that made it possible to host this event. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My question is about the age that we are in now. Back in 500 to 200 BCE, there was the axial age.

Preston Smiles:

That's when the great religions of the far east, Zoroastrianism, Confucianism, and other eastern religions as well as Greek philosophy, all sprung up simultaneously and great thinking occurred. And I believe that they sprung up in densely populated areas in the quantum field of awareness. Well, because the world has shrunk due to COVID, we have the technology, the Internet. I believe that we are in an axial age now. And that axial age and I believe, and it's my own belief, that we chose to be born at this time to be part of this. And so I'm just curious about your thoughts of that and how, as a collective voice, we can best serve the expansion of consciousness.

Melissa Henault:

Oh, so we're gonna go there. Right?

Sam Harper:

Now. So good. Okay. I'm gonna give you a little bit of a story here that I think will explain this really beautifully. So, Prince, we all know Prince, the great Prince, the musician. Right? He was woken up out of sleep and had a song dropped into him in the theta wave state of being, which is where we bypass the consciousness and go into the subconscious and all of the beautiful things happen there. And he was given this song. He heard the melody.

Sam Harper:

He heard the sounds, the lyrics were coming through, and he popped up out of bed, went straight to his studio and recorded that song. Do you wanna know what song that was? Purple Rain. Exactly. Had he not recorded that song, somebody else would've picked up that frequency, that consciousness that was swirling around and somebody else would have created it. And so I think what we're leaning into here is that we are operating on this magnificent collective consciousness and more people are waking up now more than ever before. And thank God that consciousness is trending is the best trend to ever come to mainstream.

Sam Harper:

Yeah.

Sam Harper:

So I agree with you. I think that we are on the precipice of something really, really massive, and it just takes some connection to be able to bring it up even further.

Sam Harper:

I just add to that one. I I have a whole Prince story. I was at his house. It was just me and 4 other people, and it was absolutely crazy. And I wish I could tell you guys the full story. It's wild. However, I think the the thing I just really wanna tap on for everybody is to not be dinosaurs or blockbuster. And what I mean by that is a part of that that what's happening is AI is coming forward And sometimes we can look at that and go, I'm too old for this push it away Or we can embrace it and ride the wave.

Sam Harper:

And at the very least, fan the flames of someone else who's embracing it and see how we can use it and infuse it into our lives to make things easier. Because going back to what she said, consciousness is in style right now. And a big part of it is is as the computers take some of the work away, there'll be spaciousness for people to look at themselves and to move through the traumas that they've been suppressing by working themselves to death. So just some of that.

Melissa Henault:

So good. Alright. Who's next?

Sam Harper:

So question I have is a little bit more on the business side. So 2 clients, same company, 2 buddies, equal investors, equal owners. 1 wants out, 1 doesn't. They've got a chasm of what they think the business should do. And I don't have 2 clients. I have 4 clients because there's wives attached. Yes. So one wife wants them out, one wife doesn't.

Sam Harper:

There's very much put your ego aside, figure out what's best for the business, but I don't have the skill set you have. I have the business side of the house. So, what's the best way to help them get unstuck? Because, like, one of the things earlier, Preston, I saw you do when people were giving you an answer and you're like, no. No. Let's go deeper. Nice try. Thank you for playing. But then how do you, without us being your skill set, help them bridge that gap where there's another answer besides just what's on the P and L or the income statement.

Sam Harper:

Yep. Yeah. I think it it never, ever, ever will hurt to see humans first. Because a lot of times the filter we see them through is numbers or business partners, etcetera, etcetera. We forget that no matter how much money somebody has, no matter what status they have, they got some stuff they're working through. In the book, Healing the Shame That Binds You, he talks about how the the screw up and the overachiever often have the same exact shame, but different strategies that they use. So you may have this person who creates rockets. Let's call them Elon Musk or whatever the case may be, and a person who's smoking crack on the side of the road, and you think, oh, they're so different.

Sam Harper:

Maybe it's the same shame, just out pictured differently. Mhmm. All that to say, I just went through this. And what we learned is that we didn't have a divorce clause in our contract. Do you guys have that in there? Mhmm. Okay. So then I'll just say this. We had this happen, and I'll just won't won't say too much because there's people in here who know some of the things.

Sam Harper:

I'll say that at first, we were like, oh, this is terrible. And okay. We all have to quit. And we just walked away from $4,000,000 And then I was mad and sad and had to take a walk and all the whole thing. And then we came back and we're like, wait. No. You quit. We still have a business.

Sam Harper:

And just by that saying that the other people involved were like, well, we didn't necessarily like quit Like what we were really saying was and they backtrack the whole thing and now we're going back into business again this coming year. So, one, I would just make sure that you do the human part and actually hear. This is what I'm a say. Find out what they actually think is missing with the partner who wants out. Whoever wants out, like, literally hear them out. Say, hey, Jeff, Susan, you're out. I'm not gonna try to talk you back in. But I genuinely because out of 8,000,000,000 people, we became partners.

Sam Harper:

8,000,000,000 people, and you and I found each other. Can you really, honestly tell me why you went out? And let him tell you or her because oftentimes you can't solve for something you don't know is going on.

Sam Harper:

Mhmm. Copy paste all of that. So good. I would see in addition to that too, is I like to when there's conflict in business with equal parts power, we'll call it, I say, okay. Let's put it all on the table. Let's just look at it. Let's not be emotional. It's just I'm putting this on the table.

Sam Harper:

I'm gonna put this book on the table. I'm gonna put

Sam Harper:

a pen

Sam Harper:

on the table. We're just gonna look at it very objectively. What needs to stay? What needs to go? What is what are my things that I need to take back? That's ownership and responsibility. And what is that person's ownership and responsibility? And then usually when you see it all out there in front of you, it's a much easier decision to make. And it's very clear when it's all in here and it's rumbling around, it's ping ponging off everything inside of the body, that's when it's chaotic and messy. So everything on the table.

Melissa Henault:

Awesome. Love that. We'll take maybe one more question. Is there was there one more question? Are we good? All good? Yeah? Okay. You guys, this was amazing. I appreciate it so much. You guys are willing to just open up and riff off with questions we're putting out. So we'll wrap up this segment, and you guys, we're gonna do we're running behind because I think everybody was running behind from lunch.

Melissa Henault:

So we can take, like, a 5 minute break, like, a bio break, and then we're gonna be coming back to Sam's absolute genius to

Sam Harper:

wrap us up

Melissa Henault:

for the afternoon. Okay?

Sam Harper:

Say use the bathroom now so that you don't have to leave the room. Yes. Yes. Okay.

Sam Harper:

Can I just say one thing as well? Quite a few of you have asked where you can get the book. It's prestonsmiles.comforward/book. Just FYI. And if you don't buy it, it's all good. But, literally, I've had many of you ask me. And I'm not selling them here. It's just prestonsmiles.comforward/book. I love you all.

Sam Harper:

Thank you. It was a pleasure. You're gonna kick some ass. Thank you. Yeah.

Sam Harper:

Thanks, Benton. Go.

Sam Harper:

Thank you so much. Filled with catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away. Oh. She got both feet on the ground, and she's burning it down.

Melissa Henault:

-: 2285

Melissa Henault:

Come find me over on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, wherever you like to hang. Cannot wait to hear how you are enjoying and applying what you're learning. You guys reach out to me over on social because I love hearing what's resonating with you. When you reach out to me and you send me those personal DMs, they really do impact the content I continue to bring forward to you. So again, come find me, melissa_henault over on Instagram, melissahenault over on Linkedin and Facebook. Can't wait to see you guys over there.

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