Imposter syndrome pervades the consciousness of many individuals, infiltrating their thoughts and engendering feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. In our discourse, we examine the duality of this psychological phenomenon, acknowledging both its detrimental effects and the potential impetus it provides for growth and self-improvement. I share my personal experiences, reflecting on moments when imposter syndrome manifested as a barrier to my self-acceptance, while also recognizing instances where it spurred me to strive for greater heights. We delve into the societal influences that exacerbate these feelings, revealing how comparisons to others can distort our perception of self-worth. Ultimately, we advocate for embracing one's inherent value and the audacity to pursue aspirations, regardless of the internal and external challenges that may arise.

in this episode we dive deep but not too deep into the thoughts of imposter syndrome and how that has helped or hurt us

Takeaways:

• Imposter syndrome can manifest as self-doubt, leading us to question our worthiness in various situations.
• Acknowledging our past experiences is essential to understanding how they shape our present self-perception.
• The significance of encouragement from others cannot be overstated when combating feelings of inadequacy.
• Confronting imposter syndrome often involves recognizing our achievements and the hard work that brought us to our current positions.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Folgers
• Hoover
• Mitsubishi
• Chevrolet
• BC Powder
• Luther Vandross
• Destiny's Child
• Usher
• Brandy
• Monica
• Outcast
• Doja Cat
• SZA
• Beyonce
• India.Arie
• Jimmy Smith
• Phylicia Rashad
• Stephen McKinley Henderson
• Ruben Santiago Hudson
• Michelle Shea

I was thinking about Folgers commercials because I was trying to explain it to my nephew why I like coffee.

Because he's like.

He's like.

He's like, that's a lot of coffee.

Like, how much coffee do you drink?

And I would say he's like, that's a lot of caffeine.

He was like, are you experiencing a lot of anxiety?

I was like, no, not on the weekend.

I was like, I think I just like it because it's hot and it's cozy and it's like the experience of it.

But then it made me think about, like, those Folgers commercials when we were younger, where you would see, like, the white people in their robes and in the mountains and some like, really robust, probably like Luther Vandross sounding ass song.

Somebody's thinking about the.

The experience of drinking a fresh cup of Folgers.

I don't know.

But like, yeah, I kind of feel like that as an adult now.

Like.

Yeah.

Because the best part of waking up is Folgers in your country.

That, you know, I don't know why, but the song that was coming to mind was not that.

And it's not a coffee commercial.

But I was thinking, I don't even know what whose jingle this is.

But it was like, nobody does it like you the way that you do.

That's a song.

Yeah, I think it's Hoover.

No, Hoover.

Nobody does it like you.

You know what?

It was a vacuum commercial.

You know what I like the most about, like, marketing and things like that?

Like, there are certain regions where that would never see that commercial.

And.

But when you go down there or over there or wherever, this is really all you see.

And they're good commercials, but because I've never seen that.

I've seen so many who.

Because we have Hoover.

I mean, like, I've seen.

I'm a commerce.

So when I first started everything, I wanted to be.

I wanted to be a producer of a music videos.

And then I want.

I want to do commercials, and then I wanted to do music videos.

That's how all this stuff started.

So, like, I've.

I've always been a big junkie on commercials.

Ah, you said junkie.

Junkie.

So excited.

Full circle moment.

So my top three favorite jingles ever.

Number one.

And so many people don't know about this.

People make me feel like this never happened.

But there was a BC powder commercial, and it was like, BC powder.

When you got things to do, it was like a whole to do.

That's one I'm gonna wait for the last one, because this is how junkie ties in.

And then the misi.

The misubisi.

Misubishi commercials.

Okay.

Back in the day, Like a rock I was strong as I could be.

Like a rock.

So he's like, ooh, you don't know that.

My first car was in Mitsubishi.

We gotta go find a Like a rock Misubishi commercial.

Hold on.

But no, the last one.

And this might have been exclusively to Memphis because I've talked to people all over the world and they've never heard this before.

But there was a commercial that was an advertisement against, like, drugs, and it was a meth commercial.

Have you ever seen the meth commercial?

Absolutely not.

Oh, I love that I get to bring this to your attention.

I never knew anything about meth until fucking Breaking Bad.

I didn't even know that drug existed.

Oh, it wasn't.

Damn.

Whole time.

It wasn't Mitsubishi with Chevrolet.

America is still the land.

I remember this.

I do remember this.

Such a good song.

That's definitely a Chevrolet commercial.

The most dependable, longest lasting.

Trucks on the road.

Road.

Everything.

Wait, pause.

Can you want to hear a funny full circle moment really quickly?

Yes.

So my father's car, his mother's car was a Chevy.

It came before the.

Because he had a Avalon.

It began with an A. I believe I'm seeing it right now.

It's.

And he used to sometimes hum that tune just randomly.

Like my type of person.

He.

There were.

He had his moments.

But that's when I guess he was being an adult.

Didn't know his child was in the background paying attention.

Because I'm like, curious.

I'm like, you know.

But let me tell you about a kid who didn't Had a speech problem and thought it was microp for many, many years.

Like, like micro up.

For many, many years.

Hold on.

But no, this is the commercial.

I'm waiting.

Busy as a bee.

Where'd I get all this energy?

Oh, man.

M. I don't sleep and I don't.

Eat But I've got the cleanest house on the street.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Get these hairs all out of my face.

Get these bugs all out of my place.

One more hit.

No time to waste.

Oh, that I have never.

Brought to you by the center.

Brought to you by the center for Disease Control.

Ever seen that?

But I.

Maybe during meth.

During that time, meth was a really big issue in that part of Memphis.

Wow.

This is like 20 years ago commercial.

And as a kid, it was one of my favorite songs.

Like, oh, Oh.

I am.

So we are not endorsing the usage of meth.

FYI, that was my jam.

Listen, y' all here getting microphones and sounding foolish.

This is not just another podcast where two men are talking about bullshit and don't make any sense.

This is.

This is a real conversation for real adults.

What's.

Waheeda?

What are we even talking about?

What are we even talking about?

Listen to it now, because you want.

To know what we're talking about.

What's up, King?

What's up, sir?

And what's up to all you out there?

Welcome to the what Are We Even Talking About?

Podcast, where every other episode, we take turns choosing the topic unbeknownst to the other.

So the conversation is unrehearsed, authentic, and most importantly, safe.

I'm laughing because I'm preparing yourself.

Myself for you to make fun of me.

And most importantly, a safe space for friends to be vulnerable.

I'm not going to make fun of you.

Feel so judged in my vulnerability.

Do you want to start over, or will you be able to edit it?

No, it's gonna.

It's gonna.

I'll work something out.

Okay.

No, say it right.

Okay.

Start over.

Oh, from the beginning.

Yeah, that's what I was saying, because I don't like it.

So there was a lot that happened in between that.

Oh, I could have kept going.

But what's up, King?

What's up, sir?

And what's up to all you out there.

Welcome to the what Are We Even Talking About Podcast, where every other episode.

We take turns choosing the topic unbeknownst to the other.

So the conversation is.

Giggity.

The fact that they hate the mic.

Oh, man.

Oh.

So the conversation is unrehearsed, authentic, and.

Most importantly, a safe space for friends to be vulnerable.

So go ahead and grab your favorite cocktails or mocktails and get ready to find out.

What are we even talking about, child?

It got.

It took so long to get there.

That's my fault, y', all.

Because, of course, this is pj, AKA sir.

Pj, AKA I forgets a lot, Sir.

I forgets a lot.

And this is Christopher, AKA King Christopher, AKA I lost it.

So just aka, aka, AKA how was your week?

It was a fair week.

I won't say that it was terrible.

I did not find myself in the position of wanting to murder anyone, so that's always a plus.

I think any week that I can get through and I don't have visions of what my prison cell will look like, it's a good week.

I'm comfortable in that work was okay.

I did a lot of things that were creative.

Interestingly enough, doors are opening for new opportunities, so I'm grateful and excited for that.

So I'll say seven out of ten.

I recommend it.

How was your week?

My week is getting better.

My week is getting better as of today.

Hallelujah.

Listen, it's been a week.

A week from, you know, that space right up, like.

Like the in between.

Between hell.

Like, it's not the space.

It's not.

Hasn't been from hell.

Limbo.

It's just.

Yeah.

It's actually really, really been very much in limbo.

Like, my mood has been up and down and good and bad, and I've had a. I've had my good days and my weary days.

It's been.

Yeah.

But today, actually, I won't complain.

The hilarity in that, I'll tell you offline.

Yeah.

Don't forget.

Don't forget to ask me.

I will never forget.

But no.

Yeah.

As of today, things have been actually really great.

Today wasn't interesting.

Switcheroo day.

But something really, I think, powerful for me came out of it, which I think will add to this conversation that we're gonna have.

I want my roof switched.

Your route.

You said switcheroo.

I said I want my roof switched.

Oh, all right.

What is your rule?

And what does that feel like?

Let's switch in your room.

So there are times when two people, and they can be anybody, it doesn't necessarily have to be any specific subset of people, but two people, they come together and they decide that they want to partake in an experience.

And so within making that decision to partake, one of the people, they start normally with their hands, sometimes with other parts of their body to unzip or pull down.

Maybe if there's not a zipper, said pant, remove, said underwear.

If there are underwear, if they're free balling, no need to do so.

And from there, they pull out whatever that, you know, appendages that, so produces the sweet nectar that I think scientifically is referred to as semen.

And so when those two people decide to partake in that experience, normally, the roof, you know, that inner portion of your mouth, like that tissue.

Every roof.

Yeah, the roof.

And, you know, once that appendage goes in, it just starts to switch stuff around.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

And you were actually showing me the perfect one before we got.

Damn it.

I forgot.

Let me find it really, really quickly.

Let me turn my volume down on my device so that nothing happens that shouldn't happen to Start any of the people that are here in this home with me.

But, yeah, I'm gonna get that pulled up for you, so you can definitely take a quick gander while you pull that up.

Quick story time.

So there was a moment where I had went on this.

I had got booked to do this commercial, and so the only thing that we needed to have on set was our laptops because it was prom.

Renting a work.

A co.

Working space.

So that's all that we needed to bring.

And as we were getting.

I had never.

I hadn't opened my laptop or anything like that.

And as we were beginning to like, I'm sitting next to this white girl who's in and his white blonde girls behind me.

This brunette is to my left, and this Indian guy is like, to my right.

And as I.

As I, ladies and gentlemen, as I opened my laptop, when they were like, all right, let's go.

And, you know, rolling, whatever, because it was also commercial or it was just taking pictures.

As soon as I opened it, it was the loudest me that was heard by everybody.

All 60 of us.

That's what everybody.

And they all turned around and looked directly at me.

I was one of three black men of the 70.

I definitely learned never to open, and I'm so grateful for working remote.

Like, if you have that as a fortunate opportunity for you, I'm sure maybe you can relate.

I have definitely learned in office spaces, no matter what, even if I'm having, like, some profound thought where I'm like, oh, I have to share this with the socials.

Don't open Twitter, especially if you can't remember what you had open the last time you were in there.

Because that same thing that you had open, it's gonna be open when you open the app back up.

Especially if you didn't close out of it, if you didn't switch tabs, if you didn't move from said video, like, it's gonna be there waiting for you, baby, right there, waiting for you.

And for everybody within your perimeter.

So be cautious, because the damn daddy you fucking me is right around the corner waiting for you.

Yeah.

Boom.

All right, so this week I am going to do something a little different, as I was challenged to do so because, oh, you know, sometimes you gotta switch up.

And in switching up, the.

That's getting switched is this new segment that we will be doing called Play it or skip it.

And just to give you a little details in regard to what that is, I'm going to throw out a song album or artist and pj will let me know if it's going into his rotation or if he wants to get that up out of here.

And you all can play along in the comments.

Feel free if you have abilities to comment on said podcast, wherever you're listening.

If you.

Once this is posted to social media, have the opportunity to comment on said social media posts wherever you are.

If you want to send us a direct message message letting us know your choice as far as the player skip, please feel free to do so.

So with that, pj.

I'm loving this, by the way.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

All right, so a couple of throwbacks and you just tell me right now in the moment, are you playing it?

Are you skipping it?

Usher, the Confessions album.

Skipping it.

I want to play it.

There was so many.

Like, I think, don't get me wrong, my way was a really good moment for him, but I can't say that my way was a no Skips album.

I think Confessions for me was where I was like, oh, Usher might have something.

He might go the distance.

Like, that was a really good time for me.

All right, the single Destiny's Child.

Say my name.

Skip it.

I'm skipping it right now, too.

I loved it when it was present.

However, at this time, it is my.

Least favorite Destiny style song.

Like, not my least favorite, but it's.

It's my least favorite hit of theirs, I will say, I guess it's a great song.

About that.

I'm about to think about that.

What's my least favorite?

When I say hit, I also mean, like, top 10, probably booty, which I.

Once upon a time really enjoyed.

But right now I'm just kind of like, yeah, all right.

Brandy versus Monica.

The Boy is Mine.

Oh, it's played.

It's.

That's playing.

That's.

That's.

And acted out right now.

I would play it.

Not every day.

Not every day.

And then one more from the past, Outcast.

Up until the first verse, I'm gonna play it.

I don't know what it is, but there's something about the energy of it and the video of him and the throwing of the hair.

It just gets like.

I don't know.

It inspires really good feelings.

All right, now for a recent choice or two, and I don't even know.

I'm wondering, have you even heard it?

Beyonce, Cowboy Carter.

Oh, like the whole album.

The album.

Oh, yeah, I'll play maybe.

I'm probably gonna skip some songs if I'm being fair, but I'll play You know, what's.

You know, what's really good with that album, to be honest with you.

And I'll say this like this.

And, you know, like I said.

Hey, B. I love the way that her music is actually blending now, so you can actually listen to it on shuffle, and it really won't change that much of the vibe.

Like, I've never tried that.

I'll have to do that.

I don't.

So this.

I feel like I know what this is, but I don't.

I can't think of it right now.

It's a song by SZA called Snooze.

I think we've had this conversation.

Why is Sizzle even playing?

I'm so sorry.

Sometimes we have good moments, but I'm gonna skip that Drake for all the Dogs.

Skip.

Yeah, same.

I'm gonna take it back for just a brief moment.

Cisco Thong Song.

Song itself.

I'll skip the song.

So it was the album.

I would play the album.

All right.

Paint this.

Paint the Town Red by Doja Cat.

Okay.

That's a song.

Sure.

Okay, let's hear it.

She's a Libra.

I like it.

Yeah.

I give her a chance.

She.

I haven't heard it, so we'll give her a chance.

She's a Libra.

I'm down to listen.

I like.

I like her flow.

I think she's very creative, and I like the way that she challenges herself to make, like, her music sound different.

So I'm definitely on the dozier train.

I wish you would leave them damn cigarettes and those white men alone.

But I'm not here to live her life for her.

What?

What you got?

And is that Janet.

Demita?

The whole entire Joe Jackson.

Oh, I love that.

You guys should see this T shirt.

Ladies and gentlemen, Janet is supreme.

Janet is the.

The.

Like, what's above the queen, below the empress.

I don't know.

I think there is.

There has to be something really quick.

Now that we're here and before I can escape.

Least favorite Janet Jackson album.

Least favorite.

Easy answer.

Dream Street.

Well, just.

We'll just keep it safe.

I don't know.

I don't know that one enough to say it's my least favorite.

I think I started at Control, so for me, I would say Unbreakable.

Really?

Yeah.

I couldn't get into it.

And if she would ever put out Black diamond, that would probably be my answer, because I can't, like.

I don't know.

Like, at this point, newer Janet, her in the element of making music, it's a no for me.

I love everything that she's done prior to.

I don't, ladies and gentlemen.

I think that was when she was married to that billionaire and she was wearing all the baggy clothes and like, all the things were happening.

And I was like, yeah, it's enough.

Ladies and gentlemen, the thoughts and opinions expressed.

Christopher and Christopher alone, because I think.

Discipline was so solid too.

Oh, yeah, Discipline was a great album.

So it was just like a great album.

As a follow up, I was like, eh.

I mean, no album is still ever top Janet, but it was a great album, in my opinion.

Yeah, sure.

I was gonna say, I would argue that Velvet Rope definitely top Janet, but that's just me.

That's what it did for me in my life.

It.

It understood and I agree.

I agree to certain levels.

Yeah, certainly.

Yeah.

This time.

I'm not gonna stay this time.

You know, I think this has.

Because we.

We.

You've taken it back.

You have now made me decide to ask the question, who raised you?

So in this quick segment, I just have a few questions out there for people and I just, you know, you answer along as you listen.

You know, this isn't for Chris to answer.

That's what my segment gives sometimes.

But for real, who raised you?

Is it okay, Chris?

Is it okay to just walk in people's houses and open the refrigerator door if you've never been there before?

That's okay.

Oh, it is okay.

Who raised you?

Right?

Right.

You know, people who work in service are actual people.

Who raised you?

Like, what makes you think that you can talk to anybody any kind of way and get whatever it is that you want?

That's not how the world works.

Were you raised by.

No, wait, not even.

Were you raised by a wild pack of, like, cockroaches?

But in general, who raised you?

Like, I think there's a.

There's a portion, in my opinion.

And tell me if I'm wrong.

I don't know.

I'm asking.

I'm asking all you out there, do you feel that this new generation, old generation, a generation, every generation there are in there, you really want to sit here and say who the raised you?

Because why are you like this in the worst.

Humane, you know, but hey, maybe this is.

Maybe this is just me, you know, being a Libra and just saying, y' all could do so much better.

But hey, you choose to be ignorant.

So, hey, there are choices in life, you know, do your thing.

Brought to you by Pad that will be one of my very few random outbursts this episode.

That was, I will say, I will say this.

I think I did that one in the one that we're not using.

So like, okay, but work this.

This will drive you crazy.

You know what's been driving.

You know what's been driving me crazy?

Watching these kids with these reaction videos to their moms listening to the old school.

Like, like they're shocked about like little Kim and like all out, like, oh, but the way these talk outside, the way they interact, like, are you, like, what do you think?

What do you think we are as adults?

Yesterday, where they were playing some Snoop Dogg song where Nate Dogg was like, since you gave me all your pussy, you even licked my balls.

Like, it was like this woman and her two 15 year old twins and they were just like, like, I get it.

Because like that generation to generation, it's like you, you guys, music is terrible.

Like, listen to what they're saying.

But then we had something that was very much like that.

And I, the generation before us had something that was very much like that.

Wait, so I have a record from my grandfather and this is.

We can move on after this.

And it's really what inspired me to get my record player.

And it's from Jimmy Smith and it's called Sit on It.

Yes, Jimmy.

Have you ever heard of this?

No.

I would recommend you just listen to it one time.

It's an old.

I'm gonna give Jimmy a spin right after this because I want to know what it's like to sit on it.

Yes, I do.

I'd be like, grandma, you were neck.

Grandma was nasty.

But hey, so is Aretha.

I'm trying to get in the Jimmy, but I do want to ask you something, and it's something that I've been wanting to ask you for a while and hopefully, you know, this doesn't make you too uncomfortable.

But if you don't mind, what are we even talking about?

W a W e T a podcast or waita deep side.

The D side was a good side.

For those of you out here who will never hear the episode that will, that never was.

There was a statement that was said and said last episode.

And I asked Christopher, I asked King, I begged, unhand her.

Unhand my friend.

Unhand imposter syndrome.

And I've been thinking about this all week long, about how imposter syndrome has impacted my life, impacted friends around me, my lives, impacted those that I know that are close to me.

And I was curious, like, what about you.

I think about all the time and it's so funny.

Cause it'll randomly pop up in My head, but.

And it's funny, but it's also like a real thing.

That scene from the Help with Viola Davis and the little white girl where she's, like, just affirming her and speaking life over her.

She's like, you are you is kind, you.

I don't even remember everything that she said.

She was like, you was kind.

You was such and such.

You was impotent.

And just that for me, especially as I've grown and I've kind of gotten into this place of therapy, I recognize that something as simple as that is something that I didn't receive when I was younger.

I never had anybody that really just sat with me and helped me to recognize my value and my worth and that my voice mattered and that my opinions were important and that I was safe to show up in all the ways that I so desired.

So I think on certain levels, especially for people that can relate to that, I think it definitely creates a big sense of imposter syndrome when we're put in positions as to where it's like, oh, wait, I'm really here in this room and I'm really part of this meeting and I'm really a part of this conversation, and people are really looking to me for my opinion or to sign off on something or to make a decision that's going to impact change here.

Because it's like, who am I?

What gave me the audacity?

Where did anybody ever feel like I was worthy enough to have this kind of power or agency over something?

I think it puts us in a position as to where we have to, like, challenge ourselves sometimes.

Because, honestly, it's like, well, damn, like, am I really good enough?

Does this really matter?

Is what I'm presenting something that's actually meaningful?

And if nothing else, I think a big part of it starts from childhood and never really learning that, never being given that sense of encouragement and believing that.

So, like, once you get older and you start to, like, move and make choices and find yourself in certain positions or making decisions to move in certain ways, a lot of times it's really, really easy to question yourself.

Like, for me, even in this, here, in any space where I feel like I'm putting my voice out, it's like, who's going to want to hear what I say?

I'm not anybody.

I'm not anybody special.

Nothing about who I am or how I show up in the world makes what I have to say significant or important.

Why would anybody even care to listen?

I'm just me.

And a lot of times I think it's a part of our belief system and a part of our, like, sometimes our lack of self validation and maybe even self love in certain ways, that puts us in the position to question why anybody would care, why anybody would want to hear what we have to say, why it would be significant for anybody to feel like there was value and what we had to offer into a space.

So I definitely can say that actively on a regular basis.

I challenge myself to move past it so that I can just show up and do whatever it is that I feel like I'm being led to do, called to do, inspired to do, without allowing fear to, like, make me curl up into a ball and say, no, I'm scared.

I don't want to do it.

Because that's really what it creates in a lot of ways sometimes is fear.

Right, right.

So, see, because.

Okay, so the angle that I was thinking about, and not just the angle, but I definitely.

I definitely hear everything you're saying.

But, like, how.

How do you think it was created for you?

Like, what?

Because for me, I know it's been.

It's been a really interesting and.

And it's been a long, long road to get to certain points, and then when you get to that point and you've been successful in that point, it's, It's.

There have been moments where it's unbelievable to the point, whereas, am I really.

Am I really doing this, or am I just faking it?

You know, like the whole idea of fake it till you make it.

And do I need to be here?

Am I worthy of being here?

Should I be?

Have I done all the necessary steps?

You know, do I deserve this?

And I think that that starts from, like, people telling you what you can deserve, what you can get, what you're capable of, what you're not capable of.

More so just telling you what you're not capable of.

Because the knots tend to stick, at least with me, for longer than what people tell me what I am capable of, because I already know what I'm capable of.

If you don't know, but you're.

You're.

You're sure.

No, but I'm not capable of.

Which is interesting.

And then realizing that I wouldn't be in those spaces if I wasn't supposed to be, I wouldn't be.

You know, I. I tell my students, and there's a.

There's an interesting story.

I have a tie tied to, like, what imposter syndrome can do to you.

And I think we've had this conversation offline, but you Guys, as our listeners, you've never heard this.

So my first audition, my first class, first of all, I auditioned for this school, this little itty bitty acting school called Stella Adler Preparatory, which is a very prestigious acting school.

And didn't know anything about it because I literally just quit working NYU maybe.

I got in and out.

This is several times.

And I didn't know much about it.

I just knew that it was a school that, that taught the art of acting and it was centered around a black theater.

Black theater.

So it was the Black Theater Intensive.

Okay, Are you following me?

Okay, cool.

Are y' all following me?

Fantastic.

All right, so went through the rounds of auditions, got in 30, I think it was roughly around 500 applicants.

30 got in.

And great.

As it turns out, my original acting coaches, as when they walk in to let us know who's actually teaching this class in walks in Ruben Santiago Hudson.

Michelle Shea.

Stephen McKinley Henderson.

And if anybody doesn't know these names, I would suggest you just take a quick pause in this episode.

Each one of those are legends in their right.

And the Honorable Dr. Phylicia Rashad.

So understand that you knew that she was a part of it, but didn't really think that you would actually be sitting in this room with all the others because you just auditioned.

Didn't really take everything.

I'm, I'm, I am rambling, aren't I?

No, this is a very, this is very intense story.

So we're all sitting there and this is the first day, and they starting to let us know where.

Who, who are we going to be with?

Phylicia Rashad was my coach.

So for months I had this woman, this, this goddess, this, this just this breath of fresh air in my presence, just teaching us and then talking to us and listening to our monologues and going through, like, acting classes.

And so, yeah, so at the very.

So yeah, at the very beginning, she goes around and there 15 of us, and there 10, 10 of us in this class.

And she asks everybody to.

What's your name?

Give your name and an adjective that describes how you feel.

And, you know, so just imagine you got Tommy is, you know, happy.

Kelly is, you know, ecstatic.

You know, I'm thinking of all Power Ranger names.

I just can't think of them all.

Sorry.

Because I was like, who is Kelly?

But go ahead.

Kelly.

Wasn't she the Pink Ranger?

Wasn't Kelly the Pink Ranger?

Kimberly.

Kimberly.

See?

Damn.

I said you might have also Watched seasons of Power Rangers that I never saw.

So I've only seen.

I just don't know her.

I'm just only Mighty Morphin.

That's the only one I know.

And so she gets to me and I go unworthy.

And there were like five other people behind me and.

And everybody was just like, oh, like, that was so deep.

Right?

Like, I. I just genuinely how I felt because I've listened to these people who have been going to.

They went to nyu, they went to Juilliard, they went to all these places.

They've been doing this.

Like, this is the.

This is their craft.

I just walked in the door and so, like, we're.

We're.

She breaks us up and she puts us in our separate.

Our separate group.

So there was going to be a group that was going to go before we break, and there was a group that was going to go after we break.

I was in the group that we went after.

We.

We went to break.

So every single time a person came up, even though we just went through that exercise, she said, okay, and what is your name?

Okay, and what's your monologue?

All right, let's.

Let's hear it.

And, you know, she would ask that question.

Four people break.

Then it was my turn.

But we didn't get to my turn because I watched her around the corner, and she was just talking to someone, and she put her finger up and she's like, hold on for a second.

And she made a straight beeline for me and said, philip, excuse me, why did you say unworthy?

And the fact that she just walked up to me and just said my name took me out of control.

Took, like, the breath out of my chest.

And I said, well, to be honest with you, like I said, I just quit.

My last day working was Juneteenth.

I have never been in a space like this.

I'm listening to all these.

I'm being around all these guys who've been doing this for years.

And I literally just got here.

This is August, because we were also doing August Wilson.

So it was a really.

It was like monumental that it was done in this time, right?

And so she said to me in the only clear, huxtable way that she could possibly say.

You know that conversation when she was having with Elvin, when she said, if you.

You haven't get rid of these macho.

Attitud now I'm gonna bring him a cup of coffee.

Just like he brought me a cup.

Of coffee this morning.

And that, young man, is what marriage is made of.

It is give and take.

50, 50.

And if you don't get it together and drop these macho attitudes, you are never gonna have anybody bringing you anything, anywhere, any place, anytime, ever.

And she said to me, no matter what anybody tells you, did you not.

She's like, did you not audition to get here?

Did you not go through rounds of auditions to get here?

Are you not sitting around other people who did the same as you?

That mean.

And you were chosen, right?

So that means you are worthy.

Even if you weren't chosen, you're still worthy because it's your gift.

This is who you are.

I was like, finally someone, like, said something to me that clicked, and I was like, maybe I'm not an imposter.

Maybe I do have talent.

And I think that a lot of us.

Bringing it back to all you guys, because that was a long story for me.

Thank you for making it through.

Brought to you by thc.

I think I'm gonna make that a thing.

Your face is what's killing me, because your face is like.

I'm on bated breath.

I'm getting.

We're getting beyond the moment.

Tell me more, damn it.

I mean, but.

But.

But the thing is, like, from that moment on, it changed how I felt about, like, even, like, in these spaces where I'm in these spaces, in the world of podcasting or in the world of, like, film or, like, this is why I said.

And this is one of the other things that I feel like what even sparked more of this conversation today is on my way home, I get a random call saying, hey, I found your.

I found your.

Your profile on backstage.

We have an audition tomorrow in Harlem.

Please let us know if you're available.

And I talked to her about it.

So I'm actually going to do it.

And I just, like, text a few people, and I was like, oh, my God, it's.

It's happening again.

And I.

Sweet.

One of them was Yoshida.

Now, Yoshida was one of the original members of a highly melanated.

Right.

And I one time had a panic attack.

And this is when I first got booked my first Broadway show.

And I still have the video somewhere locked in my phone, but it was like.

Do you remember the app Marco Polo?

Yes.

So we had a Marco Polo with.

The red beach ball.

Yeah, with the beach ball.

And you could send videos back and forth to each other.

It was kind of, you know, it was.

Yeah.

Back when it was free.

Who.

Who would pay for that?

Anyway, she.

I was having an anxiety attack because we had all these other Famous people that were coming in.

And I just was like, I can't do this.

I'm going home.

I'm getting on the train.

And she was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.

You can do this.

And it's not often that people pour into other people, you know, so that's what I think helps create the imposter syndrome.

Is the lack of people pouring into other people.

In my opinion, not the lack of people, but like the.

If you have more people taking from you and more people not putting into you, saying, giving you those that boost of confidence that you do need.

Good boy.

Like you do like you would a dog, but not like a dog, you understand?

Like positive reinforcement.

In order for someone to know that they're doing well.

In order for someone to believe in themselves, even if they're.

If.

Let's just say I've been running my mouth for a very long time.

Wait, what are we even talking about?

Good boy.

That's what stood out for me, among other things that you said.

But no, I was gonna say, interestingly enough, something that you said earlier triggered, I think where it comes from for me is like people telling you what you're not capable of or what you can't do.

I think in a lot of ways for me, where it comes from is like when I was young, I was often put in spaces where I felt less than or I was put in spaces where I felt like maybe I was below average or like I couldn't meet certain standards or exc.

Expectations.

So kind of walking around with that trauma, because I think that's something that we don't recognize is how trauma can show up in your day to day life.

Just walking around with certain traumas and having that as a part of my experience.

In moments where I'm put up for an opportunity or in moments where I get the chance to do something, I kind of revert back to a moment in time before where it was like, nope, you can't do that because you're not good enough.

You can't do that because you're not smart enough.

You can't do that because you haven't done what's necessary for the prerequisites in order to meet that accomplishment.

Right?

Yeah.

A lot of times it's like taking yourself out of the mind state that it's even possible for you before you even get to the conversation.

Because it's like, well, I'm not going to go out for that.

They want somebody that has a lot more experience or they want somebody that has, you know, a specific type of experience, or they want somebody that ultimately can do this or to do that or that has already done this and done that.

So you kind of take yourself out of the running before you even get there because you tell yourself all the reasons why you feel like you can't.

And a lot of times, honestly, it's just, you know, that trauma and then also that fear of, well, damn, like, what if I actually get it?

And then I actually have to show up every day and figure out how to make it happen.

Like, I have to actually be present and show up and be successful at that.

So it's scary enough to even try for it.

But now that I'm here, now I have to show up every day and, like, almost feel like I'm competing with the other people around me in order to continue to be present and to continue to be accepted and continue to be told that I am deserving of being here.

So I definitely think that that creates a lot of that as well.

Yeah, I. I copy and paste full on by men.

It's funny because, like, this past week alone, I have been put in the position where I've been, like, just presented with.

And for some.

Some people, it wouldn't mean anything.

There's small opportunities in spaces that might not be significant to a lot of people, but I've been put in positions where I.

Like, it's been asked of me to show up and be in leadership positions and to take on opportunities in certain spaces where I don't think I would have imagined that I would have been able to do it.

But I'm also having to challenge myself to be able to say, well, this is going to prepare me for something.

So even if right now I don't believe that I'm necessarily.

If I don't have all the tools, if maybe I'm not qualified, if maybe I don't necessarily know what I'm doing, this is going to be an opportunity for me to challenge myself.

This is going to be an opportunity for me to learn.

This is going to be an opportunity for me to sharpen my sword and ultimately make sure that in the future, even if right now I am kind of acting as this imposter, by the time that it really counts and by the time that the next opportunity comes along, I'll be able to have kind of out those kinks and actually show up and say, well, yeah, when I first started this, I was definitely faking it till I make it.

Making it.

I was definitely figuring it out.

I was definitely an actor showing up and pretending like I knew what the fuck was going on every day and I had no idea.

But now, because of all of those trials, because of everything that I've experienced, because of everything that I was able to accomplish in that space, now I can show up as a well trained master and say, bow down.

No, I'm kidding.

But I was like, but no, just like from that space of, you know, like, like, hey, I'm here and this is meant for me.

And you guys can really learn something from what I have to offer now because I had to figure it out for myself.

Okay, let me ask you a question.

How do you find ways to beat it?

Do you see it as it's coming?

Do you feel that emotion?

Can you, can you, can you acknowledge in the moment when it's happening, that's what's happening?

No, because I don't think it's something that I actively think about.

Like, I don't carry that around with me as like, like there's like a little marker that pops up like, ding, ding, ding, imposter syndrome.

Like I'm not actively thinking about that.

And it's not like something that I'm using as a tool in my day to day life, but it's definitely something that if I think about later, I can recognize like, oh, okay, well, this is what was inspiring these specific feelings.

This is why I was kind of doubting myself.

This is what had me so worried.

Because even in spaces like this where I talk about like showing up and allowing my voice to be heard and like kind of having that fear of getting started if nothing else is just starting so that I can be moving.

And it's like once you start it now you're here and you're just kind of flowing along and things are happening.

But yeah, I definitely don't necessarily acknowledge it in the moment.

But I can also say that what helps me as far as just challenging it is just like kind of.

My therapist says this all the time.

Like, you have to remember your why.

I think recognizing what it is that I want, why I want it, how I feel like it's going to serve me the benefits that I feel like I'm going to gain from it, how I'm going to feel if I'm actually able to succeed at it, and what I'm going to accomplish if I push through whatever these negative feelings are, whatever doubts and worries that I might have surrounding.

What if things don't work out well?

What if everything goes amazing?

What if everything happens exactly the way you plan it?

What if Everybody shows up and supports you and loves what it is that you have to present.

And so for me, I think in moments where it does rear its ugly head, I'm able to say for myself, you know what?

I'm scared.

I'm really, really worried about how things might turn out if they don't go as planned.

But if I never do it, I believe I'm going to regret it and I'm going to look back and wish that I had.

And I think as I get older, I'm going to get to spaces where I don't want to have those experiences.

I don't want to be able to look back and say, I wish I would have done this.

I don't want to go back and say, I wish I would have taken a chance on this opportunity because I feel like I've done that so much in my youth out of fear.

And don't get me wrong, I'm still grateful for the way that my life turned out, but just to think about what, how things could have been different or better if I would have just done this or that.

So, okay, so let me ask you a question, because there's an argument that said that, and I wonder which note your opinion on it is.

There's an argument that said a lot of people's imposter syndrome or anybody who may think that they have, or understanding what that looks like or what that even feels like is because you're not thinking it from self.

You're in comparison to someone else's journey, someone else's story.

How do you feel?

Right?

You do.

You see that?

Because all we're able to see, we're.

You know what I'm saying?

Like when you're only see what, able to show.

Right?

Yeah, we see.

We see.

Externally, you don't know what's going on in another person's head.

You don't know what it took to prepare them to get to where they are.

You don't know how they had to stumble to fall.

You don't know what I had.

Come on, come on.

You don't know about their own.

You know what I'm saying?

Their imposter syndrome and how that shows up for them.

All you see is the output.

All you see is them having the opportunity that you want, having the designation behind their name, having the title, having the privilege and the opportunity of being able to do the things that you desire to do.

And you're thinking, thinking to yourself, well, if they're there, then they must be deserving to be there.

And if I'm not already there.

It must mean that I don't deserve to be.

But you also don't know what the work it is that they had to put in to get there.

You don't know how many nights they had to cry about the fact that it wasn't happening as quickly as they wanted it to happen or wasn't happening in all the ways that they wanted it to happen.

You don't know their journey.

So I think sometimes we have to step outside of our ideals of what things look like and how things seem and just push past all of that.

Because a lot of that is surface level.

A lot of that is just based on general perception of, like, clips and sound bites and images.

Exactly.

We're able to see right in front of us.

But child, I think it's.

I think it really started coming even more when social media really became a thing when.

When we were very much invited into these people's lives and these.

You know.

And, you know, this brings me to a segment that I wanted to do today.

Now that I remember, because this episode was.

Was not brought to you by pad.

Mind y' all business.

Okay.

Mind y' all business.

Y'.

All.

Like, we're so worried about, like, what the other person is doing when we have so much that needs to be worked on within.

It goes back to, you know, W, T, F, Y D. Does it?

Right?

I got it.

Yeah.

Okay.

What was it?

Wow.

I can't even remember.

I think it was.

I would have to go look.

You know, and I love this about your side of Libra.

Like, you just once it's gone, it's gone.

But it was like worry about what the you're doing.

So I don't know if the A was there or not, but I might have been like, okay, worry the.

So maybe wb Worry about what?

Wb W, T, F Y D. Like, worry about what the you doing.

That might have been it.

But.

Yeah, bury that.

Always that.

And I always say I don't think the life would be perfect, but I definitely think that it would be a better place if everybody, like, focused on themselves.

And don't get me wrong, but let me add.

Let me add to this.

It's not even just about people focus on themselves, but it's also about the people who are showing all this.

These.

All these wins are also showing all of their loser.

Their losses because that's not as transparent.

So it seems as though you have this picture perfect.

But you two have.

Which is understandable because obviously presentation meets anything.

Everything I used to have this conversation all the time.

When it came to, like, a conversation with one of my exes.

Presentation versus perception.

And I'm a perception person.

So, like, no matter what.

What is presented, you're going to.

Whatever.

No matter what is presented, you're going to feel that way.

But I feel like if you perceive something one way, you're always going to perceive it that way, unless your opinion changes.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was gonna say this is honestly confirmation for me.

It's really funny.

I was having a conversation earlier about how a lot of times we're only able to see the positive.

Like, this is what I went through.

These are some of the things that I had to go through to get through it.

And now that I'm here, look at how much better my life is.

Look at all the great things I get to do.

Look at all the amazing opportunities that I get to have.

But you don't really get to see, like, this behind the scene.

View this full range of the struggles, the timeline, things that I had to sacrifice, things that I missed out on, ways that it took me longer to get here than maybe I wanted it to because I went left when I should have went right.

Because I made this choice when, honestly, if I really would have considered it, a better choice was available to me.

And I think a lot of times, being that people, especially from spaces of inspiration and motivation and all of those different things, they're trying to get you to understand, like, this is what's possible for you.

You know, if you start believing the way that I believe, if you just change the way that you think and feel about things, this is what you can do.

But, okay, what about the days where I don't necessarily have the energy?

What about the days where I'm tired?

What about the days when I backslide?

What about the days when I don't necessarily feel my absolute best or don't necessarily believe as strongly as maybe I was believing the days prior to.

And I think it's so important to recognize that as you kind of flow through your journey that, like, there's so much that goes into an experience.

So, like, even when that imposter syndrome is showing up, even when it's, like, poking at you and saying, like, hey, you're not good enough.

You'll never be able to do this.

Why are you even trying?

Who told you that you had the right to be here?

I always talk about audacity.

Like, what gave you the audacity to believe that this was something that you were capable of fighting through?

That and understanding that whatever is for somebody else is for them and that whatever you want for yourself is possible.

You just have to believe it.

You have to challenge yourself to continue to show up for it.

And you can't allow yourself to succumb.

I hate that word.

Cause I always challenge myself with the words and the sounds that are.

You said it.

You said it just like Janet, just like.

But like, you're stupid.

But I just.

I feel like it's important to challenge yourself to, like, fight past that, because you never know what you're capable of until you.

Okay, now try.

I want to add this because in order to overcome it, in order to do all those things, you have to.

You have to be willing to not suffer in silence.

I think a lot of us suffer in silence and think that we're the only ones that have experienced this.

I mean, like.

I mean, look at all the people in.

In.

In recent years.

And this is for you, audience out here who have unalived themselves because of whatever reason.

I'm pretty sure that there was some moment where they felt like they couldn't talk about it.

And I'm not saying.

I'm not really trying to correlate the two in a way, but sometimes there are moments where your imposter syndrome can lead to suicidal ideation.

You know, we haven't.

I think we.

I think.

In my opinion, I think a lot of us have a problem or don't do this enough.

And I won't say I have a problem with.

Because I just.

This will help celebrate in the little joys.

We're so big on the destination.

We're so big on getting to where the end is, that we don't realize that every little step that we're taking is moving you one step closer to whatever your goal is, if that's what you're doing.

And you know it's happening, but it's not happening at the.

The speed that you thought it would.

But no one's paying you to think.

Well, the universe ain't paying you to think.

So give me my money.

You hear all these thoughts?

You hear all these thoughts?

Yeah, it's just like that.

Just.

Just, you know, the universe is coming.

From where you are from where I am from my.

From my.

For me.

Okay, Got it.

Hello, New York.

Listen, that's.

That's.

Ain't nobody holding your thoughts hostage.

Is.

Has there ever been a moment that, like, you, you know, of any of your friends, not just you, just anyone that you know, that an example of really bad imposter Syndrome without saying the person like a situation.

I don't give a. I know you don't, but I was like, okay.

The thoughts and opinions alone are expressed from Tig.

No, I'm kidding.

But no, I'm sure if I had to think about it.

But I don't know.

Like, it's.

It's challenging when you're, like, putting yourself in that position to speak for other people, too.

Like, I'm sure.

So, interestingly enough, I'll say this, not necessarily a friend, but, like, the first time I think that the concept was brought up for me, I talked about this before about Jensen Chero.

She's an author of these books.

It's a series of books called you are a Badass.

And I think she has, like, four of them out now if you've ever seen them.

Like, one has a yellow cover, one has a blue cover, one has a green cover, one has a purple cover.

And it's like, you're a badass.

How to stop doubting yourself and live a such and such life.

And you are a badass how to make money.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And she wrote in her very first book, talking about how she had, like, applied for this job.

I'm sure she had kind of, like, wrote some amazing fan fiction in regard to the resume and what all the ways that, you know, she had done different things in her past, and she got this opportunity to, like, share this program or this fundraiser, and she had to come up with all these different things that she had never had this type of experience, but it's like just being able to show up and to learn and get to have so much experience and about how it kind of helped to set her up for different things in the future, and about how every day she was afraid that somebody was going to be able to, like, actually see, like.

Like, I. I don't know what the I'm doing, and I have no idea what's going on.

And I'm honestly just, like, floating through this, trying to figure it out at Day by day.

And as it comes, I think that was kind of the first time I had ever actually heard it referred to in that way.

And the first time that I actually kind of went to dive deeper, because I think a lot of times it's easy to just recognize, like, I don't believe in myself right now, or maybe I'm, like, not feeling as confident about something as I could, or maybe I'm doubting my capabilities, but, like.

Like, impostor syndrome as a concept or the construct in the way that it's defined, I don't think it.

A lot of times we as people, especially if that's not something that you typically subscribe to, recognize or understand exactly what it means.

So, yeah, for me, like I said, I can't really say in regard to any specific friendship, a way that it shown up for somebody, but that was definitely like the first time I, like, saw it show up in like, just anything.

And I think the whole moral of it for her was just kind of that idea of like she was actually promoting it.

Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

As much as people will say that that's not a good idea, sometimes you have to kind of push through those fears, push through the worry about how it may look or how it may not look so that eventually you can get to the goal.

Because the ultimate goal is to, like, get to what you're seeking to accomplish.

Whatever it looks like, whatever you got to go through, whatever you're doing in that process, those things don't really matter once the goal is accomplished, because nobody really sees all that.

All they see is, here we are presenting what it is that we came to present.

When it comes.

Okay, so you've read a lot of books and not just books, y'.

All.

I've read some books.

I don't know if I lied, but yeah, I read some books.

But okay, I meant to say self help books.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

That's what I meant to say.

Not just books.

Like you've read a lot of books.

Because I don't read.

What would you say if you had any?

Are some of your favorite affirmations?

My number one, and it's so funny because I hear it all day, but it like, really, really, really resonates for me right now in my life, is that everything is always working out for me.

And it's something that I have to lean into because I think that there are moments where, like, sometimes I forget it it, or sometimes, like, I may challenge it.

Because, like, sometimes in a moment it's like, yeah, this sucks, and I'm not happy with the way that things are going and like, things aren't flowing in the way that I thought that they were going to flow.

And I don't know if I'm going to be able to find my way on the other side of this.

But then I'm also reminded of, like, moments where I felt that way before.

And ultimately everything worked out how it was supposed to be.

At the end of the journey, I was safe, I was comfortable.

Goals were Accomplished.

I never missed a meal.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's one of those things where it's like, you just have to lean into the idea that no matter what, but that everything is working out.

I think another one is, like, as it applies to money, is that money flows to me easily and freely.

Just that idea of, like, kind of misdirecting the concept that, like, oh, well, I don't make enough or I don't have enough or I lack or I need more.

And instead of focusing on what isn't present, focused on what.

What you believe is available for you, what can actually happen in that space, what you are calling into your atmosphere.

And then I. I don't know.

I like.

I like top three.

Top.

A third one is probably.

Huh?

Affirmation.

Affirmation.

Affirmation.

I think if I had the third.

A third one is just like, there was a series of them where it was like, you are beautiful, you are powerful, you are strong.

You are exactly where you need to be.

Like, that type of thing.

So I don't know if there's one that really, really stands out.

But just like, that idea of like, everything is as it should be, like, or like, everything.

What did Lauren Hill say?

Everything is everything.

Everything is everything.

Thank.

Oh, stop.

There's a dog that just randomly burst in my room.

That's what you.

We'll go ahead.

Un.

Once again, unhand my.

Everything is everything.

Unhand her.

That's my favorite.

You know, everything is everything.

Like, it's whatever you want it to be.

And, you know, nothing is still something, even when it's nothing.

I love that one too, but the one that always sticks out to me, and it's.

It's like an affirmation, like, I am safe.

I. I am safe.

I am heard.

I am loved.

I am safe.

I am heard.

I am loved.

And I. I used to say a lot of these things to myself when I first wake up, when I'm in the shower, when I'm wiping, when I'm walking up the stairs or down the stairs.

Primarily down the stairs because up.

I'm getting old.

When you're wiping my ass.

Oh, okay.

Just want to make sure we were in the same.

Go ahead.

Yes.

You know, I. I have some of my most.

Most greatest thoughts.

I think on the.

On the toilet.

I'm not.

I'm not mad at that.

Your face response is your process as it processes out.

But the part that finally it came back to the station, I think that the part that we all forget that you keep bringing back is that we have to do the work.

And we have.

If, especially if you've done the work, keep doing it.

If you know you've done the work and you're letting the tell you what you can and can't do and who you are and who, who you ain't, when these ain't even got the same color socks on.

Like, not even like somebody's walking around with an anklet, an ankle sock, and a tube shop and gonna try to tell you what to do or who you should be.

Get out of my face.

I always say.

And I don't want to go too deep into it because it will turn into one of the greatest rants ever.

Like, I would totally filibuster this podcast episode.

But one thing that renaissance the album by Beyonce did for me was it reinforced a sense of confidence that I needed at a time that I didn't even realize that I needed.

It helped me fight through so many different things because I feel that for me in that moment of hearing that album and being able to live with and experience that album, it was all of the things that I wanted to be.

It possessed all of the qualities that I wanted to have, have just free flowing energy, confidence, sexiness, boldness, maybe even a little bit of arrogance, you know, just out loud, gayness, whatever.

Like, it had so many different things.

And to go into something not knowing what it was going to be and not really having any expectations and then to press play and the first line you hear is, these ain't stopping me.

Like, imagine starting your project like that.

These ain't stopping me.

And then in case you didn't get it the first time, I'm gonna repeat it a couple of times for you just to make sure it really and speed it up.

These ain't stopping me.

These.

Yes.

And so for me, I think honestly, that put me in the position of like almost putting my shoulders back a little bit more and sticking my chest, chest out and holding my head up a little high.

And I was like, you know what, Beyonce, you right.

These ain't stopping me.

Who are they to even think that they could stop me?

And it definitely just kind of like created something in me that I was like, you know what?

Okay, I'm a push.

Like, I' ma push past it.

Whatever, whatever.

Like, even if I, even if I am an imposter, guess what?

I'm here.

Okay.

No, but, no, but like I said.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna condense.

Because, like, I could, I could go on and on and on you.

You.

You are.

You.

You have been condensed my life.

But go ahead, I'm listening.

Really?

No, no, no.

Because the baby.

The way you just inhaled.

No, sincerely, Absolutely.

I think it was just.

It just came at the right time for me in a moment where I was just like dealing with a lot of.

And I was just like, wow, these are the words that I needed to hear or not.

Or.

Or concepts that I needed to lean into or feelings that I needed to have inspired within me.

Yeah, like, absolutely.

See?

And this is why I need one of our Libran musical therapist to get back in the studio.

And India Iri, I need another album from you.

I definitely do.

I.

That's just me.

She's.

She's.

That's.

I. I can see how you could feel that way about Beyonce.

I mean, about Renaissance.

I felt that way about strength, courage and wisdom, that whole album.

Well, that's Voyage to India.

This is in remembrance.

Yeah, all of that.

No, is that.

Am I the wrong one?

That's the next one.

That's the one.

I.

No, not acoustic soul.

Oh, you're doing the very first.

Yeah, that's the very first intro.

That's the verse.

Yeah.

Okay.

No, I'm thinking of.

Cuz Voyage to India was.

Was not it?

Hold on, I want to say the right one if I'm going to put it out there into the universe.

It's testimony and relationships.

Oh, volume.

Volume one.

With volume one Black.

No, that's volume two.

That's.

That's the key.

Oh, with the yellow and when our hair was in the Afro.

Yellow.

Okay, what's the.

What's the first song on the album?

Hold on a second.

It is.

Is that the one that had Yellow on it?

It's this one.

Yeah.

Like, scroll down.

Do you see a title called Yellow?

Yes, Yellow is on here.

Okay, got it.

Yeah.

Okay.

No, no, Yellow was on the next one.

Okay, got it.

Yo, that's the black and red.

That's politics.

Love and politics.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Is that.

Is that volume two of that?

Essentially?

Like the first one that you show was Volume one.

That was Volume two.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

And so like, I remember.

Okay, thank you, New York.

I remember being out in.

In Miami on the beach and just listening.

Do you remember the song?

Okay.

Oh, God, grant me the serenity.

To accept the things that I cannot change.

Okay.

But I was on a beach listening today.

And I could remember tears falling down my eyes listening to that whole album from beginning to end, especially those little interludes and that affirmation.

The serenity prayer is always, still, always going to be one of my favorite affirmations in the entire world.

Forget what I said earlier.

I just, just now really realize it because.

Why?

Why.

I think, and this is part of the conversation I was having with the funeral director earlier about how, like, we have to understand how we put ourselves in whatever situation we've been put our.

We have put ourselves in to make us feel as if we weren't worthy, couldn't do it or shouldn't do it based on the opinions and thoughts of others.

Because who the those people.

People you got to grant you the serenity to accept the things that you can do and the things that you can't.

You know, I'm just saying it the way that comes out.

Yeah.

This episode really has been brought to you by thc, hopefully.

But no, I was gonna say another one that I really strengthens me and resonates with me is that, like, it's really simple.

Like, you are enough.

You are enough.

I am safe.

All of those singular ones, you know, they.

They, you are worthy.

Like, I love her album.

Worthy.

That song brought me to tears.

One I didn't get into.

But I was gonna say that next one.

The one that you were saying, that one did it for you.

That next one.

That next one was around the time that my grandfather passed away.

And there's a song on there with MC Light Death.

Yeah.

And it did something to me.

I was at work one night sweeping.

Sweeping up the floors, and I was like, listen, I had that plan.

And I was like, like, o.

Okay, this might be a moment to break down.

I was like, if there was ever a moment to break down, we might be having that.

You doing something right now.

I'm recording a podcast episode.

Okay.

Okay.

We're almost done.

I think we are.

I think we could be done.

I had.

It's not going the way I wanted it to go, but I can make this work.

Work.

Unless you.

Unless you.

You don't like it.

No, I'm good.

I don't.

I'm.

I feel like.

I feel like the conversation's been good.

Okay.

I feel like you'll listen back to it and appreciate it.

I will.

And see, there, There's.

There's an example.

I mean, like, not that a specific example, but an example of how, like, self doubt creeps in and then creates all these different things to you where you think that what you've done is.

Not worth anything or.

But that goes.

That speaks to what I was saying earlier.

Like, I understand editing and how it shows up and how it works for this because it's.

And why it's necessary for me.

I'm more so of the mind of before I have even.

Even allow myself to question myself.

Cut paste.

Edit that.

No.

Cut paste.

Post.

We're here and now.

Whatever it is and whatever it's going to be, it's out into the universe and I don't have to worry about it because it's like whatever I said is what I thought, and I want you to know what I think.

And even if it's not, even if the words don't come out right the first time, or even if it doesn't sound perfect, or even if I stumble sometimes, I still feel that I'm presenting the.