Samantha Hedden (Sam), MSc Ed discusses how direct support professionals (DSPs) can become more resilient and why this is important. Direct support professionals (DSPs) continue to face increased stress in their roles serving people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD). While DSPs are always committed to helping people, they often neglect their own physical and mental health.

Resources:

Cleveland Clinic: Dialectical Behavior Therapy

DBT: Dialectical Behavior Therapy

The Gifts of Imperfection: Your Guide to a Wholehearted Live by Brené Brown

Mental Health Minnesota: Samantha's Story

- Hello and welcome to

the podcast on Wellness

Matters for direct support.

This is a podcast

developed by the University

of Minnesota's Institute

on community integration.

Wellness matters for direct

support will focus on the

importance of health, wellness

and self-care for direct support workers.

My name is Chut Chedder

and I'm a national workforce consultant

and I'm also a direct

support professional.

I'm here with my colleague Mark Olson.

- Hello, I'm Mark Olson and

I am a, also a consultant,

primarily a trainer in

person centered practices

and some other items.

And I too have spent a lot of

years doing direct support.

Today we have a guest who is a

friend of mine who I learned,

I met actually doing theater.

And you know, theater

is one of those things

where you meet a lot of really cool people

and you run into people who

you share work lives with.

Because oftentimes when you do theater

you gotta have a different

job to make ends meet.

And so let me introduce Sam Heden

and I will have her introduce

herself a little bit more

and why she's interested in the topics

that we're talking about with wellness.

- Sounds great, Sam.

- Thank you Mark. Thank for having me.

Thank you Chet. My background,

I have a master's in education.

It focuses on curriculum writing.

I also have a license to teach science.

Like Mark said, I've

got a varied background.

It includes science, music,

theater, public speaking,

all across the board, which is great.

It makes you for a well-rounded person.

The reason I got into

looking at resilience

and mental health was

because I had to deal

with my own mental health,

but I was also a para for students

for years.

And I worked with a lot of kids

and a lot of educators

who were also dealing with

some mental health concerns or issues.

And I realized, well I can

take my master's degree.

And this was before the pandemic

and I was like, somebody

should research this.

'cause there's a lot

of educators struggling

and educators can be anything

from daycare teachers

to primary secondary teachers, paras.

There was a lack of support

and understanding that these

folks were in a very high

stress situation.

And that's what I wrote my thesis on.

- And thank you Sam. And

one of the things that

that I always take and I

extrapolate a little bit

because anybody that's in a position

where they're supporting others

to live the lives they choose.

So you spoke of the education realm.

Many of our listeners work

with adults with disabilities.

Some of them work with

students, some of them work,

you know, across the whole age range.

Yet the resilience pieces

that you've studied are things

that apply to everyone that's

doing one of those roles.

And it applies to

everyone who they support.

So let's get started with the

our, our list of questions

and we're we're gonna, I'm

gonna ask you the first one,

pretty kind of a softball.

How do you define resilience?

- Resilience is a skill

that helps somebody adapt

or be able to be flexible

or have the ability to deal with trauma

or difficult situations.

And resilience is not

always an innate skill.

Oftentimes it's something

you have to build up

and it's something you

always have to work on

'cause it's like any other tool

that you'll lose it if

you don't practice it.

And it's something that

I realized doing research, it's a skillset

that is more prominent in

certain places than others,

but it should be something

that we're learning constantly

all of the time just

for our own mental health and wellbeing.

It, it's a lot of practice, a

lot of awareness, acceptance

and a lot of change in perspective.

- Sam, you mentioned that you

need to learn different skills

and you need to kinda keep

sharpening them, utilizing them

so that you've got them

when you need them.

You studied resilience

in your master's program.

Can you talk more about what you learned?

- So not just from what I

researched, 'cause that was big

'cause that was applicable

like in the real world.

But also I had to take a

few rounds of DBT therapy.

If any of the listeners

have ever taken DBT

or know someone that's taken DBT,

I'm sure they hear about

these skills often.

- Can you define what

DBT therapy is please?

- Oh boy. You

- Know,

- I will try to say this.

Dialectical behavioral

therapy, you learn to sit

with your emotions, how you

can manage your emotions,

be able to radically accept

things the way that they are.

And then you can work on your behavior.

Some of the steps to do that is

accept what is real, knowing

real versus imaginary, which

for some people they make up stories in

their head all the time.

I know it fuels like

anxiety, which frustrating.

And making up stories is difficult.

Giving yourself the chance

to build relationships

with therapists, friends,

loved ones chosen, family,

self-care, the whole idea

of put your oxygen mask on

before you help someone else with theirs.

And having an opportunity

to change your perspective

and take that step back.

Okay, so this is what's happening.

How can I change this in my head

and change the outcome

by changing my behavior.

- So with that DBT, one

of the things that I'm,

I'm hearing then is

that there is a certain

interpersonal concept that's involved.

And you spoke of family chosen family,

all these different people that are a part

of someone's lives.

Share with me a little

bit of a story about,

'cause I know you're a

storyteller, just like

I've known you long enough to

know that, share a story about

how you've seen some of that interpersonal

effectiveness really impact something.

- The biggest thing that comes to mind for

that's boundaries.

So a lot of times having

good interpersonal skills is

being able to have healthy

boundaries for yourself.

So back in the day,

'cause I'm, you know, obviously

not turning 34 tomorrow,

I was at an inpatient treatment center

for an eating disorder and

mental health for myself.

And one of the things

that we worked on was

what are your boundaries?

And if someone crosses

them, what do you do?

There was a lot of work

on how you can communicate

with somebody about, Hey, you did this

and I not okay with that.

Could you not do that?

And if they keep doing

it, how do you effectively

walk away for your own wellbeing?

So having interpersonal

communication skills,

interpersonal skills, people always seem

to think it has to do with talking.

Sometimes it has equal

amounts to taking a timeout

and taking a step away from a

relationship of whatever kind.

So that's something

that I had to deal with

'cause I've had to do that a few times,

whether it's no contact or limited contact

and then being able to uphold that.

- So what I'm understanding

when I hear that is that

there's a certain part of getting in touch

with yourself that has to happen.

- That critical awareness piece. Yes.

- And And you need to be able to take care

of your own emotions so

that you can interact in

that in person with that

interpersonal effectiveness.

- Exactly. You have to be aware.

And fun fact, 'cause I know

this is coming, one of the,

there's a book that I had talked about

and one of those things is

be impeccable with your word.

And that has a lot to do with looking, did

that introspective type

work, looking at yourself

and then sticking with

what is true to yourself.

So knowing yourself is the first step.

And having that awareness of who you are,

that's a lot of work.

- And, and that the name

of that book again is

- The Four Agreements.

- Okay. The Four Agreement.

And it's by Michael Re.

And you know, Sam recommends that

and there is a number of pieces in that

that we'll probably talk about

as the day progresses. So

- Sam, while you were talking

about healthy boundaries,

I think as direct support

professionals sometimes

that drawing that line

and having that boundary

can be really difficult

because we're supporting

people sometimes in their

homes, in their job.

We're together a lot.

And so sometimes keeping

those healthy boundaries

for ourself can be really

difficult, but really important.

Would you have any suggestions

if you feel if A DSP feels

like they're getting too involved

and they're not really listening

to those inner messages

that are saying, ah, this

doesn't feel quite right, I need

to make sure that I protect me and,

and and that sort of thing.

- Well I think it's one

of those things where

seeing a therapist is

always good practice.

Even if you see one once

a month, twice a month,

they're always great.

They can help listen and guide somebody.

Having a relationship with a manager

or somebody that maybe

is above you in some way

and working on that relationship.

'cause sometimes, and I've

seen people have to do this

where they're like, Hey, this line is

for me is getting grayed out

and I'm not sure what to do.

Maybe me working in this

environment isn't the

best fit for me.

And then trying to come

up with a game plan for

who might be a better fit

or am I a better fit somewhere else?

And having the chance

to work with coworkers

or somebody like that to

maybe find a better fit

- Or even I, I was thinking,

coming up with the words

and the language to explain

the boundary with the person

that you're supporting

in a way that's kind,

but it's clear as well.

And that way you don't need

to leave where you're working

or leave your person,

but you are setting up your own boundary

and taking care of yourself.

- So you've worked as

an AED para, which is

what I would say is probably

very similar in many ways to

what our direct support professionals do.

Was there ever a time when you actually

ran into this or saw someone

that you were working with

running into that whole

boundary concern issue?

- I worked with a kiddo

who was placed in a room

that they very obviously

shouldn't have been placed there.

They needed a much higher care

facility than where they were at.

And it, they placed me with them

for a temporary

assignment, which was fine.

Like I'd worked with other

children in various degrees

of mental health abilities

and this young man would get very physical

and he didn't really understand

that he could hurt someone.

He was bigger, he was just

about to enter high school.

And it got to the point

where I did have to be vocal

and with my peers

and say, Hey, I may have to talk

to you guys about helping me

because there's certain things I can't do.

And that was kind of

back to that awareness.

I was like, I can help so much.

And then I'm like, I can't help past here

'cause it makes me uncomfortable.

And so we had come up with a

plan to take care of the kiddo

and help 'em out during the school day

and still get their needs met,

but also making sure we were in a mentally

and emotionally safe place as well.

- So activating, activating the

supports you have around you

and the importance of

that became a key piece of

that is what I'm hearing. So

- Yeah, I just love that that

communication piece of asking

for help from those around you

or for a, from a therapist,

it it just so you're not there

by yourself and there are

others around who will help.

- Which asking for help

can be really difficult

because who knew that

pride gets in the way?

Sometimes asking for

help is the best thing

that you can do for yourself.

Even if it's like the

last thing you don't want,

you don't wanna do it or you

don't wanna feel like a failure

thing is, is that you're

failing people if you're not a

hundred percent the best

version of yourself.

And sometimes that requires

a little assistance.

And humans, were designed

to be social creatures.

We are designed to help support each other

and realizing that you're like, Hey, okay,

so it's a village, not just me.

- Yeah, I love that.

- What gets in the

way of being resilient,

- A lot of people from research

for my thesis is it took a lot of time.

It wasn't just a one day course

and bam, you're like perfect at it.

It was something you do once a week

or you have to practice daily.

And once we talk about some of

these books, they talk about

always do your best.

Sometimes your best is going to be

a hundred percent Superman.

I've got this. Sometimes

your best's gonna be 10%.

I'm eating a bag of chips on the couch

and watching like some kind of TV show

for the next 12 hours.

- We'll go with Hallmark

movie for this time of season.

- Absolutely not. Okay.

But it's, it's one of

those things where things

that get in the way is time, energy,

money sometimes also can be a big deal.

Even like your own mental, mental mindset.

Sometimes your mindset is a

big block to how you could

move forward with that.

- And you talked about us

being a social creature,

which is very spot on.

In my experience in life,

that's truly the case.

Even though I tend to be an introvert,

there are times when I

just have to be social.

So it's, it's one of those things.

But are there people, I mean

you mentioned therapists,

you mentioned colleagues.

Are there other people in folks' lives

that might be a really good year for them

- That chosen family?

I talked about you and I

met doing theater. Yes.

That's kind of part of our chosen family.

And we also do improv.

That's another version.

Finding those connections with friends

or with coworkers

or with family, maybe even your boss,

which maybe they're

your coworker directly.

Maybe they're, you know,

just someone that you work

with occasionally, sometimes,

sometimes just going to a coffee shop

and starting up a

conversation with a stranger.

You'll never know where it ends up going.

- Right. And sometimes, I mean,

I tell me if I'm wrong here,

but I know that until my sister passed,

she was one of my biggest

ears when I had something

that I needed to, to

really get off my chest.

Even since she's passed,

there are times when my mindset

goes to what would she do?

What would she do in this situation?

And so even though she's

passed, she's still a part

of my circle.

And you know, I think that

that probably speaks to one

of the things in the BNE

Barn book about faith

and in, in some of those pieces

and that, you know, we,

we all find those different

walks for that. So

- A lot of times I end up

journaling when I was going

through DBT courses for myself

and going through therapy

now just for maintenance,

I do a lot of journaling.

So I have a whole journal

just with lists of gratitude,

things I'm grateful for.

But at the bottom I'll

always jot down a note

to the universe or the higher power

or whatever someone wants to

call it, just about, you know,

this is where I'm at, this

is where I'd like to go.

Like I would really appreciate

any type of like, you know,

any type of vibe that I can

get that might, you know,

lead me in whatever

direction I'm supposed to go.

So far it's been working so I mean,

hey there's gotta be something

to that. Right? Right.

- Absolutely. Absolutely.

- I like to think of myself

as a fairly resilient person,

but there are times when I know that

that resilience has, has worn down.

And I think this time

after, well we're still

in a pandemic officially,

but I think I'm worn down and

other people are worn down.

How can we learn to be more resilient

and what are some of those skills? Sam?

- Learning to be resilient.

Like I said, it's a skill

that takes a lot of practice

and a lot of patience.

The self-care, self-care part

is do something you love,

take the time out, make sure

you've scheduled something

that you enjoy, that you

know you can wind down

and kind of just do.

Taking the chance to take a

class, learn something new.

Sometimes that can make a big

difference for people like me,

where I'm like always looking

to learn something or research something.

That's my kind of thing.

Opportunities for growth

sometimes for other folks,

taking the opportunity

to go help others is more

of their refresher.

It's a lot about, it's like when you buy

those, what were they called?

Cut Cutco knives.

And you have to like re like

sharpen them after so long.

It's kind of like res sharpening

that blade over and over again.

It seems monotonous sometimes.

You don't wanna do it and you're

gonna roll your eyes every

time you feel like you have to,

but you're gonna get a much

better outcome if you keep

with it consistently.

- Well and and one of the

things that that brings

to my mind is rituals

and how rituals can be a

part of grounding us too.

- Routines are important.

I would like to say that

I'm more of a free for all,

but even I have my own routine.

I get up every day, I go

to kickboxing, I make a cup

of coffee and I built myself a routine

that I was comfortable with.

Other people have different routines,

but yes, routines are a big

deal, especially for feeling,

you know, more grounded

or like down to earth

sometimes that helps.

- One for me, one of the

things that I've gone back

to recently, and maybe it's

because I haven't even

thought of it in this way

of being resilient,

but I've gone back to making

my coffee the way I used

to make my coffee,

which is a real process.

And there's a, there's a think

time that goes along with it.

So I've gone to doing a pour over instead

of using the carig at the office.

And that pour over gives me

time to kind of plan my day

and kind of figure out

where I am at that day.

And if I'm gonna be that person

that's, you know, that's,

that's superpower a hundred percent.

Or if I'm at the point

today where hey, you know,

just showing up, iss gonna

be the best I can do.

- And I think routines help with that.

I, I know quite a few people

who their days immediately just

like flush down the toilet.

They're like, I didn't didn't

do this right this morning

and this didn't happen

that I was supposed to.

Which brings me to the next thing is

how do you change your perspective?

That's a skill that you really

do need to have to build

that resilience is 'cause

sometimes things are not

gonna work out the way you want.

And you'll have like the worst luck ever

and you're gonna like,

walk under every ladder

and have every black cat,

although they're adorable,

like cross your path.

And I'm gonna tell you really

have to be able to take

that step back and be like,

whoa, I need a timeout.

That's what I call it at home.

I'm like, if I'm having one of those days,

I'm like, I need a time.

I'm mommy. Time out. I love you.

'cause I have a 7-year-old and

an 11-year-old and I'm like,

but I, I need a break.

Like I need to, mommy needs

to go sit down and maybe cry.

Fun fact crying is really good for you.

People should do it

more often. It's a great

- Release and they should laugh as well.

- Well that too. Yes.

I'm hoping that there's a good

balance both now more than

one than the other, but yeah.

- Yeah, I mean there,

I I mean I'm, I'm a bit

of a sports fan and,

and right, the, the whole e

foundation had its thing going

on recently and one of the things that,

that Jim Valvano said was, you know,

you should laugh every day

and you should cry every day.

And then you've had a full day.

You know, you, it's, it's getting

in touch with the emotions

that are a part of who you are

and making sure that you're taking care

of yourself in that manner.

- Right. That balance

DVT is all about where is

that happy medium, not one or the other,

but that nice happy goldilocks spot.

- Yeah. And, and as far

as the black cat goes,

if a black cat crosses my path, I pet it.

- I know, right?

- I mean really. I mean,

- See you change your

perspective. That's right.

- You change your perspective

immediately. I gotta pet the

- Cat.

It's like, ooh, it's fluffy. I want it.

- Well, is her tag.

- But it's funny how all

these things are connected

because DBT is distressed

tolerance, interpersonal

and emotional regulation.

So look at that.

- It's, it's all, it's all a part of it.

It's all a part of being human.

- Oh, don't remind me.

- Alright, so let's

see, where were we here?

What recommendations do

you have to learn more

about being resilient?

- The internet's a really good tool, huh?

Let me rephrase that.

The internet can be a

really good tool.

Turns out as much as I don't like TikTok,

sometimes there are pretty decent videos

and people teach these little

mini skill sets sometimes if

you know how and what to look for

and you go to reputable sources.

There's a lot of like advocacy places

that will have done some kind of talk

or education.

And a lot of times they'll post them

for free on their websites

and they'll be like, Hey, we just did this

talk, check this out.

And they have a lot of really

good information and resources

and a lot of times that's a

really good way to learn more

and find more ways to help yourself out.

- Well one of the things that

I always think about there is

that there are great pop

culture resources out there

and I I think that, you know, many of us

glom onto Brene Brown

because there's a lot of

really good information there.

And my vision of her is

that she's done some of the research.

Now as far as some of the

other research goes, I mean,

did you ever use Google Scholars?

One of your places where you would

- Google Scholar was my best friend.

Regular Google would've got

me in so much trouble. Right.

But yes, Google Scholar's great.

And then it, it's nice having the chance

and I wish that they would

have like a general community

course in this on how to search

for specific things

using like Google Scholar

or there's more reputable sources.

'cause most people are

like, I went on Google

and I'm like, no, go to Google Scholar.

- Well then Google

Scholar, I mean for those

that don't know, I mean really

just Google Google Scholar

and it will take you to the Google.

That sounds weird, but

Google, Google Scholar

and you'll, you'll actually

get to the Google Scholar page

where then it, it does take

you to things that have had

some sort of peer review.

It takes you to some other things

that maybe haven't had a peer review

but are are best practice types of things

that may be out there.

And you can run into things like this.

Like, you know, there,

there's so much out there to,

to do now knowing with

direct support professionals,

much like anybody

that's doing a human

services related thing,

time is of the essence.

So some of the, some of

the pop culture things,

if you take 'em with a grain of salt

and say, you know what, that

helps me to get through my day.

It may not be the end all

be it all scholarly wise,

but it helps me if I think that way.

There's nothing wrong

with that either, right.

But if you really wanna

research it, going to places

where you'll, you'll get

the peer reviewed pieces

are important.

- I've learned podcasts

as well nowadays are a really good tool.

I mean, not that that's

because we're doing one

because you know, that's pretty cool.

But podcasts in general,

there's a lot of people

that have a lot to say

and it's a really good platform

to hear other people's stories.

Like I have an autoimmune disorder has

to do with my thyroid.

So there's podcasts that I listen to

and it's usually about, you know,

how did it work for this person?

How did it work for that person?

And then how do you tailor

that to yourself? So,

- Well, and, and, and I just

one more story about resilience

and part of why I met you, Sam.

Oh, part of why I, I gained resilience and

because of a health issue I had in part

because I started taking say,

how am I gonna deal with stress?

Stress was my biggest thing.

And that was when I connected

with theater and now we improv

and in the things that we do

outside of the work environment

that you and I as friends are,

are are enjoying together in

that chosen family sort of way.

Are the types of things

that you can do now,

a direct support

professional, find something

that distresses you?

When I was doing direct support

regularly, one of the things

that I did, because I also

started off as a musician,

would take my guitar with me to work.

And there were times when

I could step away and play,

but oftentimes my playing

helped others be more

resilient as well.

If I was playing and singing a song,

people come and sing along.

I even got to use it with

folks I was supporting

because of course my boss heard that.

I'm like, well, let's do some music to to,

to support them folks

we're supporting as well.

So it ended up being a win-win.

I was using one of my talents

and skills both to heal myself,

but then it also became, became

a healing piece for others.

So do you have anything else

that you would like to share

with us about some

of the research pieces that you ran into?

I know we've talked a little

bit about Brene Brown,

we've talked a little bit

about Michael Reese's book.

What, what other things did you run into

that were really probably

good resource type ideas?

- Oh, I think for anybody

working with anybody,

I think it's really helpful to

give yourself that quiet time.

We live in a culture nowadays

where everything's always busy now,

everything's always go, go go.

So even if you can take five

minutes to just step back

and practice that mindfulness

and have a, with who you are,

will make a huge difference.

'cause sometimes you go so

fast that you're kind of numb

to the things around you.

And I think people forget

that a simple walk in like the sunlight,

a simple moment of just quiet, well,

it's in reason there's a lot

of hums and noises around.

It can do a really big difference

to your mood, your energy.

And it can help you take

that time to just be like,

okay, here's where I'm at.

I'm doing okay. So that

one five minute break

of just quiet is nice. Well, and

- There can be little things

that you can do within your

day that can help build

- You up. Yep,

- Yep.

Absolutely. Well, and, and in

another one of our podcasts,

Linda Anderson spoke of some

of those types of things.

And some of 'em is just,

just some mindful breathing.

It's amazing how we don't

breathe properly often,

and when we don't breathe properly,

we don't feed our brain

the oxygen it needs

and we don't feed our heart

the oxygen that it needs.

And it ends up being really

kind of hard on us health wise.

- Well, that's simple

breathing, that's learned

that a lot in DBT.

It slows your heart rate down

and then it helps,

helps lower your stress.

So if you can lower your heart

rate can lower your stress.

And if you can lower your stress,

then you think more clearly. So,

- Right. It's all connected.

- It is, it is. Should

- We all just breathe in deeply now?

- No, no. I'm not. It just was too easy.

- Yeah, you know what, geez,

because the door's open doesn't mean

you walk through it. Mark,

- I, you know, I do a little

more often than I probably

should, but that's just fair.

Just the humor. Chuck,

did you have anything else

that you would, would like to

ask Sam or would like to add?

- We

- Just like to thank you for being here

with us today. I've learned a lot.

- No, thank you for having me.

And I love doing this kind of stuff.

And maybe one day I'll go

back to public speaking

and that'd be amazing.

- Yeah. I cannot wait to see

you doing the what, what is it?

Those, those videos that, oh goodness.

Why am I zoning on what they're called?

- That's so scary. But

keep going, you know.

- Well the, the the fancy

ones that, you know,

like everybody does where

it's, you know, these,

they're just them in the microphone

and they're just talking to a ted drawer.

Ted Talks Ted Talk. Thank

- You.

Yes. I would love to do a Ted Talk

one day. That'd be so good.

- You know, I'm, I, you know, my, my,

I I'm not a young man anymore.

It, it was in there just in the very

back of the file drawer. A

- TED talk is on my bucket list.

I would like to do one,

one day then you will,

- You will.

Right On that note, thank you

again, Sam, for being with us

and, and sharing your

expertise and your research

and just sharing humanness.

'cause that's what we all

are. That's who we support.

That's who direct support

professionals need to realize

that they are too.

You're not the superhero,

be the direct support

professional, but be human first

and really share with each other

and support each other to

live the life that you want

to choose as well.

Not just supporting folks

that we support to live their lives.

So on that note, tune in

for future episodes about

taking care of our physical

and mental health episodes

are available on one

of your favorite podcasting

streaming services.

This podcast is produced by the University

of Minnesota's Institute

on community integration.

And it's by and for D.