The Power of Playing with Possibility with Candy Motzek

In this episode we get curious about:

• Moving our spirituality out into the World by taking action
• Holding a goal lightly
• Journaling: big questions, and playing with possibilities
• What would you dream if there were no obstacles?
• Laurin's favorite question to break through resistance: What if?

To learn more about our guest:

Candy is a podcast host and business coach for life coaches. Candy helps smart people start successful coaching businesses. She believes that coaching transforms lives and that being a coach is a calling. She helps her clients get unstuck & feel more confidence and clarity so they can play bigger, sign clients & create more meaningful success. She is a 'recovering' corporate executive & engineer who combines practical strategy & mindset in her calming unique approach.

Website: How to become a life coach, start a coaching business, attract clients

Podcast: ‎She Coaches Coaches on Apple Podcasts

(Laurin appears on this podcast in episodes 103 & 138!)

Get Candy's Free Private Podcast: Unlock Coaching Success

IG: https://www.instagram.com/candymotzek/

Recommended Book(s):

Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead

& Be Your Future Self Now: The Science of Intentional Transformation

NOTE: Book links include affiliate links.

Credits

Audio Engineer: Sam Wittig

Music: Where the Light Is by Lemon Music Studio

Photography & Design: Asha McLaughlin/TejArt

To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: HeartLight Wellness

Copyright 2024 Laurin Wittig

Interview Episode with Candy Motzek 2

Well, and it's this, possibility, again, it's that emotion of possibility. It doesn't have to be a super joyful, blissful emotion. It's just kind of just the other side of neutral, and when you were describing earlier about noticing your emotion and sort of encouraging the emotions that you want to feel, one of the things that I've noticed sometimes when we're wanting to manifest something, we think that the emotion is going to be like the sweeping soundtrack of a movie, and sometimes it's just da da, you know? Like, it's not, it's, it's not the sweeping soundtrack. It's just like, it's that little, you know, earworm that plays in the back of your head.

Laurin:

And we've gotten to be kind of friends because we keep showing up in the same places all the time. So today I have Candy Motzek with me and she is, first of all, she's just awesome. I love hanging out with her. But Candy is a podcast host. Her podcast is, She Coaches Coaches, which I love because it tells you exactly what she does.

She's a business coach for life coaches. She helps smart people start successful coaching businesses and believes that coaching transforms lives, and that being a coach is a calling. She helps her clients get unstuck and feel more confidence and clarity so they can play bigger, sign clients, and create more meaningful success.

Candy:

Laurin, thank you so much for having me back. I just love having these conversations with you and we kind of get lucky because we get to record it too. Right.

Laurin:

That's right.

Candy:

Instead of just having a conversation. This is great!

Laurin:

We would, we would do this anyway.

Candy:

Yeah.

Laurin:

But now we get to share it. So, okay. We've talked a little bit ahead of time about what we might want to talk about and we found something that really brings together something that I've been really focused on just in the last month or two. And, and this is this idea of I have this beautiful spiritual life and many of us do but I forget that I need to put it in action, that I need to bring it into the world in an active way.

So Candy has been talking about similar kinds of things, and so Candy, you were talking about this idea of “and.”

Candy:

Yeah.

Laurin:

So tell us a little bit about your take on it. That's where I'm coming from.

Candy:

We get to have businesses that really put our mission out into the world. Really make an impact with the people that we help and we get to make money doing so. I have a deeply seated belief that extreme consumerism and extreme corporate greed is one of the biggest downfalls of our society, and so many of the people that I come in contact with, they feel that as well.

And so for me, how it shows up is, in my tagline, is I'm a business plus soul coach, because it's only going to be satisfying if you have the soul. So in the practical sense, how I see this showing up is that we have business coaches, and I teach this stuff as well, that we need an offer. We need to be able to go out and offer to people that we want to work with, how we can help them.

We need to create content so that they know that we can help them. We need to generate leads so that we're growing our circle, and then we need to invite them to come and work with us. So that's the, you know, the business training.

And then we have the “and,” and we can make it so much easier when we approach it from a place of possibility.

Everybody wants to feel that feeling of like, it's possible for me.

Laurin:

Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about what you mean by holding a goal lightly.

Candy:

And sometimes when we do that and we allow that feeling of unattached, lightly inviting, it just shows up. So do you mind if I share a perfect example with you?

Laurin:

I absolutely do not mind.

Candy:

I wasn't going to be doing all the stuff, all that nose-to-the-grindstone stuff that I might imagine I need. But I kept thinking, that would be so much fun. That would be so cool. I wonder if that's possible. And I thought, well, maybe it's possible. And so I held it lightly. So every morning I'd wake up and I wouldn't make a job out of it, but I would just be like, that would be so much fun to create two clients this month. Well, that was the month of February and somebody showed up out of the blue on [00:09:00] February, I believe it was February 10th, and then my second new client showed up around the 25th of the month and I had no idea where they were coming from.

Laurin:

Mm-hmm.

Candy:

But they just showed up. Right? So, like how does that happen?

Laurin:

I love that.

Candy:

How does that happen, right?

Laurin:

That's, yeah. Well, that's in, in my parlance, in spiritual, you know, world parlance, that is manifesting because, but it's doing it in the, in the right way, because you were thinking about the emotion of it. You know, you weren't, you weren't saying, it's gotta come this way, it's gotta be this kind of people.

It's gotta, you weren't putting any limitations on it. Just how cool would that feel?

Candy:

Right?

Laurin:

To have two clients come out of the blue

Candy:

And then I have to remind myself, it's okay. You don't have to know. You won't actually know until the person has.

Laurin:

Right?

Candy:

Like you can never actually know the detail until it's happened. And so once you kind of unhook from that, that's that holding it lightly, that allows the manifestation to come around.

Laurin:

So it really is about allowing it, not making it, not forcing it. Is that what you would say?

Candy:

Laurin:

All. Nice. Nice. Yeah, that's, that feels right to me. It's, I'm not sure, I always break it down into steps the way, because I'm not a linear thinker so, you know, I do a lot of things intuitive and somebody goes, well how'd you do that? It's like, I don’t know. I can't even backtrack it for you. Sorry.

So let's talk a little bit about journaling because that's something that I'm a big fan of. I don't do it as often now as I used to. Boy, when my, my teens and twenties, when my life was tumultuous, I journaled like crazy, hours a day sometimes. But now I try to check in a couple times a week with, with myself, with my guides, you know, whatever it feels like.

So when you journal, do you start with like a problem that you're trying to work through, or do you just let flow whatever flows out of you or some of each?

Candy:

Laurin:

Mm.

Candy:

…crud that is playing in the background.

So I, I'll often just sort of get that out of my head. And then the next thing that I'll do is I'll look a little bit deeper at any of those things and question them. You know, like that those words or those worries might be playing in my head, but do, do I really believe them or are they just something that's on auto replay?

And then I'll then from there, I'll often do possibility journaling. It's possible for me to… then whatever, whatever the goal is. It's possible for me to create two clients this month, and then I look for the why is it possible? How can I prove it to myself so that I'm kind of like fanning that flame of the emotion of possibility.

Laurin:

Nice. The emotion, that's something I have to coach my own clients about quite a bit, is that it's when you're, when you're trying to imagine a better future, or you're trying to imagine a different outcome you have to focus on, not on how it's going to happen, not on all of the, the details about it.

So bringing that, emotion is a superpower in terms of cranking things up. You know, it powers things up. Especially the higher, you know, the higher vibration, the more fun emotions, I would say.

So the possibility work. I want to, I want to go back to that for a minute because that's, that's really fascinating to me. With your clients, do you find that they resist that? Or is do they find it fun and how do you teach them to do that? Like when you're not there to say, well, what are the possibilities?

Candy:

So the answer is they find it both. They find it really fun, and then their brain does what brains do. Their brain doesn't want to do that work because it upsets the apple cart of how they're living their life. Right? It doesn't really want to question. Our brains get quite embedded in the wanting life to be dangerous and not take that risk.

So what was the other part of the question?

Laurin:

How do you teach them to then make it a habit?

Candy:

So I encourage them to find an easy goal, something that they can actually believe that doesn't create a lot of resistance. So for me, creating two clients in the month of February seemed like an easy goal. I can do that. Then practice the “it's possible for me to create that goal” and then asking my brain to prove it to me.

Or, I had a really great coaching session with one of my clients. So I look for, I encourage them to find their way, what makes it possible, prove it to yourself, and then they can find that. So then they start to fan their own flame and that's, you know, like as you're talking about emotion being such an important part, that's the thing.

But if they actually acknowledge that they're just kind of not sure, or maybe they have some self-doubt, and then just to see a little bit of that resistance and to reassure themselves to comfort themselves. That You know what, yes, this might be hard, but I can do this.

So that's the possibility part of it, there's another thing, and I don't know if you notice this when you're doing emotion work, is that when I come into that feeling of possibility, that's when I hear the random inspiration. I'll be like, I should reach out to so-and-so. I haven't talked to them in a couple of months. Or, oh, I was gonna do this, and I call that “you're inspired to do list.”

Laurin:

Yeah. It's, I love that you are coaching them to recruit their brain to support possibility. Because to me that's like saying to somebody who's telling you, you can't do that. You can't do that. And say, well, okay maybe, help me brainstorm some ways I could do that. You know.

Candy:

Exactly, exactly

Laurin:

So instead of this resistance, it's like, come help me with this. You know?

Candy:

Yeah. Yeah. And your brain might say, well, it can't be done. It can't be done. Wait a minute, what if it could be done right?

Laurin:

There's one of my favorite questions.

Candy:

…it. I wonder what they did You, you know.

Laurin:

Yeah. Getting curious about it and I… “What if?” is one of my favorite questions, which is about possibility. As a writer, that's where everything starts. Well, what if I had a character who was like this and they lived in this, and what if this happened? What if, you know, is this like a ton of “what ifs.”

What if none of that mattered, what would you do? And I, in doing that in about 30 minutes, had sort of daydreamed my first book that got published.

Candy:

Wow.

Laurin:

But it all started with that. What if there were no obstacles? You know. What, what would you dream if there were no obstacles?

Candy:

I love that.

Laurin:

It's, it's the…

Candy:

That’s an entire, that's an entire podcast. Don't you think? You could almost do a series of episodes on the what if, you know? Yeah. Wow. I love that. And I remember that book. I have that book somewhere, too.

Laurin:

Yeah, I have it right over there on my book shelf still.

Candy:

It’s not on this bookcase, it's on the inside bookcase. But I'd forgotten about that. And you know what?

I probably still have the journal where I wrote out those answers, too.

Laurin:

Ooh, that would be interesting.

Candy:

I wonder what I said. It was a long time ago.

Laurin:

Candy:

Yeah.

Laurin:

Candy:

Oh that's so cool. Have you done that exercise again?

Laurin:

I haven't done it formally, but I do it pretty regularly in smaller ways. That was a, like a life changing, you know, but, but I do, I, I do try to, especially when I recognize the resistance to something. Like, I'll, I'll get, you know, in meditation I get a lot of those sort of inspirations, right? And I always make sure I write them down and then my brain goes, but you don't know how to do that.

And then I start writing down sort of the notes of, of, you know, how that could happen. This is bringing it more into the human side. How can that happen?

Candy:

Right.

Laurin:

And then that's how, I mean, I, you know, I've created courses and I've, I, this morning, this morning, I was mulling over something you and I learned in class yesterday, because we're in this coaching class together, and I was thinking, well, how could I do a “Day with Laurin,” you know, offer, what would I do with that?

And I did not do what we were talking about in class. And I'm not even going to say what that is, but I, what I did is I. Because I was just like, what if I were going to do that? What would I do? Well, I could, I could have it in a day and I could do this and these sort of sessions, and what would I do in those? I have the outline for a one day retreat with Laurin.

Candy:

Oh, perfect.

Laurin:

You know, so…

Candy:

You really got my brain thinking, boy, I'll tell you. Yes. That's so interesting and that whole thing about “what if” there's like it's, it is part of the possibility work, but I think that that's a place that I could layer that in and make it even more powerful.

Laurin:

Mm-hmm.

Candy:

You know, it's not about the getting it, the result, faster. It's about like being more aligned and being, and that somehow there's this place where it almost becomes effortless. I'm not against hard work, but there's something about that. It just kind of arrives.

Laurin:

Candy:

Yeah.

Laurin:

If you're overhearing, you're always resisting everything. You can't even approach the path where you could do that.

Candy:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally.

Laurin:

So, for me with the book, it focused where I was going to go. I spent almost a year researching, but I found friends who were also doing the same kind of research and my best friend and I weren't friends at the time.

I mean, we knew each other. We went to Scotland together to do research because she was working on one too. And I mean all of these, you know, synchronicities and opportunities began to show up the minute I said yes.

Candy:

Amazing. Oh, that's great. I've learned so much from you. That's great. Cool.

Laurin:

It's nice when we get to learn from each other, isn't it?

Candy:

Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Okay.

Laurin:

Yeah. I can see your brain…

Candy:

…going to incorporate that.

Laurin:

…working.

Candy:

Yeah. It's just going.

Laurin:

Yeah.

Candy:

I have the little gerbil in there that runs around.

Laurin:

Candy:

You think about like that was, you know, that the sort of infinite effect of that. She wrote that, it showed up, you decided to do it, you followed through, and then what you created, like you said, is a, it changed the trajectory of your life and the book and books that you've written have changed the life of countless people.

Laurin:

Yes.

Candy:

Right?

Laurin:

Yeah. Yeah.

Candy:

I think there's a law of that. There's like the law of infinite return or something like that.

Laurin:

I was on, you know, a Zoom with her this morning, you know, and it's been, it's been over 20 years, but you know…

Candy:

And I have to just say something here. You say that you're not a linear thinker, but then you actually do know. How, like if you look back and you do that, oh, this is how I created this. So you might not call it step one, step two, step three, but you actually see that path that got you there.

Laurin:

Yeah. But it..

Candy:

I think that's really important.

Laurin:

Yeah, it is. It's also that I was just, because I'm so freaking intuitive, when things showed up, I just accepted it and moved on, you know, and, and just kept, and things kept showing up, and things kept showing up, and every time they showed up, I got happier, you know? It was like, Ooh, what's coming next?

Candy:

Exactly. Woo. This is fun, right?

Laurin:

So,

Candy:

Exactly. And that's exactly the, you know, sort of how I describe this, like how to become a fully booked coach. It's this, it's sure it's a different result than writing a book that impacts all those lives and is published and is a bestseller. But it's the feeling through the path, right? Like how do you do it in a way that is: What's the next, Ooh, that's so cool. I never knew that person was thinking about that. Right. Like

Laurin:

Right.

Candy:

How to do it with full enjoyment.

Laurin:

Yeah. And and that's where also you have to stay aware of resistance, because it will come in because that's just the way our brains work. It's like, oh, that's like going too fast. No, you’ve got to slow that down. You know.

Candy:

Yeah. Yeah.

Laurin:

What's causing it? What if this was not a hurdle that I had to jump? And, what if this was easy? And you know, and I start going into those possibilities.

Candy:

I wonder if there was nothing wrong with experiencing resistance, right? Like lots of times we resist the resistance. It's like I can't be feeling resistance, but it's like, it's part of the process.

Laurin:

It is. And there's always something to learn from it. There's always something to learn from it. That's what probably the biggest lesson of my life is that everything that happens in, to me, around me is for me, even when it's icky, because I learn so much. I become wiser. I become my, I get greater perspective.

You know? It's, it's so I've, I have learned to go, oh, I'm resisting. Hmm. Wonder what that's about? You know?

Candy:

Laurin:

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And that's sometimes that's what it is. What's in this for me is this is not the right way to move, you know, you're, you're moving this way out of fear or out of trepidation or look back there. Isn't that cool? That's really nice over there.

Candy:

Doesn't that look pretty?

Laurin:

So it kind of is a redirection too.

Yeah. So there's always a, a point to it. It's, it's just sometimes it's just, I’ve got to, I’ve got to overcome my own, you know, innate fears that are not founded in reality.

Candy:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Laurin:

That living in the future that…

Candy:

And that's the place where you're looking for the, how is it really possible, right?

Laurin:

Right.

Candy:

Like it could, it could really happen. What do we see? Right? Hmm.

Laurin:

But what the kid said constantly is “It could happen.” It's, it's like this is going to be a home run. And somebody would go, no, it's not that night. He never does a home run. And he'd go, “It could happen,” and then it would happen. You know. So it's just, it's weird, the things that pop into my head at times.

Candy:

Laurin:

Mm-hmm.

Candy:

Every every morning I get a new one. That's one of the, that's one of the.

Laurin:

I call that my mental jukebox.

Candy:

Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes that's good enough. Like we don't, we don't have to have just these giant emotions.

Laurin:

No, and that's a really good point because one of the things that's a joy of be, of experiencing different levels of emotion is that you notice them when they're different. If we were always up here at Ooh, we would never know that that was special. So there's this contrast in emotions that we get to experience, and we all do that all through the day, and go ups and downs and stuff.

Candy:

And that's where that possibility or the what if it makes it easier for people to get to because then they're not trying to go from, you know, here in the basement to, you know, the 10th floor. You, you just gotta get to the ground floor. That's good. You

Laurin:

Yeah. Or even just get on the staircase.

Candy:

Yeah. Yeah. That true. Hmm.

Laurin:

Yeah. Just take that first step and then the rest of them get easier, so. All right. Well this is, this is, I love this conversation.

Candy:

What's fun is we never know where it's going to go.

Laurin:

We never do. We never do. And I, yeah, like you said, like I said, I get all these wild things that come into my head , you know, at times.

So let's… I think that we've kind of come to the end of that, for now, at least. So I've been asking everybody this season if they have a must read book that you'd like to recommend.

Candy:

Laurin:

I have my pen and paper here. I can take as many books as you want to share. I love books!

Candy:

So there's a couple of books that I really like. One of the ones I've had for quite a while, and it's called Playing Big by Tara Moore.

Laurin:

Hmm.

Candy:

She has a wonderful book. She's a coach and a wonderful program where she teaches specifically women and, and very often women in academia how to play bigger. So it's everything from learning how to deal with self-doubt and getting in touch with your inner guidance and your inner mentor.

Learning how to speak kinder to yourself, understanding sort of what you’re like what your avocation would be from a timeless standpoint, and that was really an interesting thing. So I really highly recommend her book.

And how do you practice being that person so that you become that person more intentionally and more quickly. So that's some of the books that I would recommend. I got a whole list, but I think that's probably enough.

Laurin:

Candy:

That's great.

Laurin:

I love it.

Candy:

What you should do is a book club so that we can all like a virtual book club.

Laurin:

Yeah. Ooh, there's a good idea. Ooh,

Candy:

Wouldn't that be fun?

Laurin:

I got my goosebumps there. That's, yeah. Okay. I, I'm just jotting down that inspiration.

Candy:

Very good.

Laurin:

Oh, I love that. We, we really could do a book club.

Where can people find you?

Candy:

Ah, so people can find me at my podcast. That's easiest way She Coaches Coaches or my website, which is StepIntoSuccessNow.com.

And I have a free gift for coaches, specifically. The easiest way to get it is with this fancy domain that I have called CandysFreeGift.com

Laurin:

Okay.

Candy:

Laurin:

All right. See, this is just like, we're just sitting around the house having a, having a nice conversation, isn't it?

Candy:

Exactly.

Laurin:

Well, I want to thank you Candy for this amazing conversation. I always learn things that I know, that I don't know that I know, when I'm talking to people.

So , it's, it's really interesting and I learned a lot about, yeah, I learned a lot. I hope my, my listeners have too, and I know we've, we've spurred some ideas for you with your clients, so that's good too. So it's a, it's a win all the way around!

Candy:

Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a great conversation.

Laurin:

Yeah, we'll do more of this, I'm sure,

Candy:

Indeed

Laurin:

Thank you so much for joining us today on Curiously Wise. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss future fabulous conversations.

And if you had any ahas, please share them in a review on apple podcasts so we can continue to pay forward the unique wisdom we all have.

If you want to know more about me or my intuitive energy healing practice, Heartlight Wellness, please head over to my website. www.heartlightjoy.com.

Curiously Wise is a team effort. I am grateful for the skill and enthusiasm. Arlene Membrot, our producer, and Sam Wittig, our audio engineer, bring to this collaboration. Our music is Where the Light is by Lemon Music Studio.