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What if the very thing you see as your greatest weakness is actually where God wants to meet you with His deepest strength?

Welcome to The Collide Podcast Summer Highlight Series!

All summer long, we’re bringing back some of our most impactful episodes — powerful conversations centered around life-changing collisions with Jesus. Whether this is your first time hearing the episode or you’re revisiting an old favorite, each story is filled with hope, healing, and purpose.

This episode originally aired in January 2025 and quickly became one of our most powerful and deeply moving conversations. In it, pastor and disability advocate Shelbi Shutt invites us to reconsider how we view weakness—not as something to hide, but as a sacred space where God’s strength shows up in transformative ways.

About This Episode

Shelbi shares her personal story of living with disabilities while actively serving in ministry, challenging the cultural and church narratives that equate strength with perfection. Through honest reflection and deep theological insight, she offers a vision of faith that embraces our limitations as invitations for intimacy with God. This episode speaks directly to those who’ve ever felt overlooked, discouraged, or unsure of their purpose.

Meet Shelbi Shutt

Shelbi is a Teaching Pastor in the Pacific Northwest, a writer, speaker, and passionate advocate for disability inclusion in the Church. She has collaborated with organizations like Alpha Youth, The Fuller Youth Institute, BibleProject, and the Canadian Church Leaders Network. Drawing from her lived experience and deep faith, Shelbi calls the Church to create space for all bodies and abilities while pointing us to the hope found in Christ—especially in our places of brokenness.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

• How Shelbi’s physical limitations have drawn her closer to God’s presence
• Why weakness is not a disqualifier in God’s Kingdom
• How churches can grow in disability advocacy and inclusion
• What steadfast hope looks like in the face of ongoing struggle
• Practical encouragement for living out your purpose—just as you are

How This Episode Will Encourage You

You’ll walk away with a renewed sense of purpose and hope—especially if you’ve been feeling discouraged, disqualified, or weary. Shelbi’s story is a powerful reminder that God doesn’t need perfection to work through us. He meets us right in our limitations and uses them as vessels for His glory.

Check Out These Collide Resources Inspired by This Episode

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✨ Learn more and grab your ticket at wecollide.net/conferences

Yes, You – A Bible study on self-worth that encourages women to see beyond their inadequacies and walk in their God-given potential.

Connect with Shelbi Shutt – Instagram

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Hey there. Welcome to the Collide Podcast. I'm so glad you hopped on today.

I don't know what you're up to, but regardless of what it is, whether it's something so exciting, so boring, so crazy, I have no idea. But you're making space to listen to this podcast.

And I am so excited to hand you this conversation that I just had with Shelbi Shutt, who is a pastor, speaker, writer, and a disability advocate. And I will tell you this, she was so just honest about her story and her pain and her progressive disease.

And if there isn't a more brave, inspirational woman with such a beautiful heart, I mean, truly, this woman will inspire you and encourage you and maybe even challenge you a little bit. And so I hope you take a listen. Shelbi, you're coming at me from, I'm assuming, Portland?

That's right. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, we are too.

We've been doing this work in Washington for over a decade, but we've been dreaming up this vision of what if we took this and went on the road and shared it with some of our friends? And Portland was just like, that has to be our first stop. So I have to ask you on, like, just a completely practical level. You live in Portland.

What are your top three? Like, if you're in Portland, people go to these three places and do these three things.

Whether it's like a park or food or shopping or, I don't know, a cathedral, I have no idea.

Oh, that's it. There's so much to explore here.

I know.

Depending on time of year, the Rose Gardens are so lovely. So I would definitely check out the Rose Gardens. We're known for our coffee, and so you really can't go wrong with coffee here.

My favorites are barista, and I'd say barista and good coffee are probably my go tos, but barista on 23rd. So 23rd is like a great spot. Lot to do some good shopping and grab a good cup of coffee.

So, yeah, coffee and the Rose Gardens are the two things that come to mind.

I love it. And you can do those hand in hand. I'm taking notes.

That's right.

The next time I come. I actually haven't been in the Rose Garden in a long time, so I want to do that. You. I. I've been reading about you.

You're a pastor, a speaker, a writer, a disability advocate. There's so many things that God is using you to do. I just want to hopefully start by having you invite us into how you became a disability advocate.

Like, invite us into your story of how this came to be.

Yeah. Oh, that's a great question. I appreciate that. Yeah. So that journey for me started when I was 16 years old.

So I grew up one of three kids, and we were a really active family. So me and all my siblings played all the sports all year round. Like, we just did it all. We were super, super active family.

And starting in middle school, we started to notice that there were some things physically that were becoming harder for me. And it first just started. It looked like pain. Pain. Like, I would go to practice, and then my body would just be in so much pain.

And so we started seeing doctors. I was in and out of physical therapy, and really, the only thing I was healthy, you know, and so it really.

The only thing that we could kind of understand at the time was it was some intense growth spurt, growing pains, you know, just normal things as you're getting older. But there was a turning point. My sophomore year of high school, and I remember it so distinctly. So it was softball conditioning.

It was in the winter, and we lined up for sprints, and I. We like, you know, coach blows the whistle, and I just start to notice, like, I'm dead last.

Like, all of a sudden, I'm just starting to realize, like, yeah, I'm dead last when it comes to sprints, and. And that isn't normal. And the more I started to pay attention to just little details.

Like, to get to all of my classes at my school, you had to go up three flights of stairs. And I'd get to the top of those three flights and just look around and be like, I'm exhausted.

Like, is everyone else, like, losing their breath over just climbing these stairs? Or I'd be in conversation with someone, we're standing up, having a conversation, and then I would just, like, be on the ground.

I would just, like, trip and fall over. And the falling became, like, so frequent that it was like, I don't think I can pass this off. It's just like, I'm clumsy.

Like, maybe there's something more going on. So I remember coming home from that practice in particular and telling my mom, like, I think that something's off and we need to go to the doctor.

And so we got in touch with my specialist and went to that doctor's appointment.

And at that doctor's appointment, the doctor just observed me do all these really normal Things like, she'd say, okay, walk across the hall, do lunges. You know, just really basic things, right? Stand on one foot.

And she got to this one moment where she was like, okay, Shelbi, I want you to sit on the ground and stand up without grabbing onto anything. So I did that once. She was like, okay, do it again. I did it a second time. She's like, okay, do it one more time. I did it.

As I'm, like, going to stand up the third time, she just stops, and she looks at me with a lot of compassion, but with this kind of cautious confidence. She just looked at me and she said, shelby, I'm pretty sure that you're showing signs of a neuromuscular disease called muscular dystrophy.

And it's going to be a long journey to figure out if that's what's really going on. But this is serious.

And so that was kind of the first moment where kind of navigating these physical challenges, but then going to a doctor and them saying, like, yeah, I think that there is something more going on here. And so, basically, for three months after that, I did all kinds of tests, biopsy, genetic tests, and we found out that, you know what.

What she was maybe kind of cautiously confident became my reality as I was diagnosed when I was 16 years old with limb girdle muscular dystrophy. And so, yeah, in a lot of ways, came out of nowhere. Limb girdle muscular dystrophy. It's very rare. It's. There's no treatment, there's no cure.

And basically, it is the progressive deterioration of all of the muscles in your body. And so, yeah, that's kind of like a brief overview.

But becoming a disability advocate started with, yeah, diagnosis and realizing, like, disability is going to be a part of my story and my journey.

I know there's a million things that can be asked of you regarding that, and we'll. We'll get into some of it. But going back to that initial moment where you heard those words, were you in shock? Were you like, no, I'm going to pray.

Otherwise, I'm going to pray for a different diagnosis. Was your mom trying to hold it together so you wouldn't be scared? I mean, what was that?

Because I know you just told that, like, because it's a part of your story, but that had to have been a really significant thing to hear and feel and know how to even react, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. So if I could go back a little bit. When I was in sixth grade, I had A really major spot spine surgery.

You know, I had something that was also called. It's called tether cord syndrome. And it's a really intense spine surgery. And in that time. So I'm little Shelbi. I'm. Shelbi is a sixth grader.

But I've had a relationship with the Lord since as long as I can remember. And I remember going through that season of recovery, and I had this moment when I was upstairs in my bedroom and I was just sitting down in my desk.

Chair. Chair. It was quiet, and I just. And I didn't have context for Holy Spirit.

Like, I didn't grow up in a church environment where I had an understanding of, like, how you can hear and sense impressions from the Lord. I had this really strong sense of the Spirit say, there's more to come. There's more to come as it relates to a journey of suffering and.

And physical and. And what that means physically. And so when. Now flash forward, I'm 16 years old.

When I initially heard the doctor say that my mind went back to that moment. I was like, oh, this must be what the Lord was maybe saying to me in this moment.

And so in the moment, I think it was God's kindness to have maybe planted something all those years ago to kind of prepare my heart. So initially, I felt a sense of peace, of like, lord, you're with me.

And I didn't really, in that moment, understand the implications of what a diagnosis, a diagnosis like that was.

And so it's been, and I still am, in a season where because of the progressive nature of the disease, I'm having to grapple with the grief and just the loss of. Of what having a disability like this is. So in the moment, it was like, peace for my mom. It was not.

And so again, like I mentioned, muscular dystrophy is really rare, but it. It wasn't foreign to us. So I actually grew up with a cousin who had a different kind of muscular dystrophy, but he had muscular dystrophy.

And for part of my mom's life, he actually lived with her. And so she saw up close and personal what living with a disease like this could mean, could look like. And so my mom was upset. My mom.

Yeah, she was upset that a doctor would say something like that without having the proof to really back it up. And so it was this interesting, like, both end of, like, a sense of peace and a sense of, like, fear, anger, and. Yeah.

Just the fear of the unknown and what that was going to look like for me.

Yeah. For people listening who have no idea what that actually looks like. What has been the impact on your life, your daily life?

And you just mentioned grieving losses. Invite us into the reality of what this has meant for you, because 16 was a few years back. Just a couple. Not as many as me, but a few.

Yeah. So to help people understand the nature of the disease.

And so basically, if I could summarize, it'd be like, if you go to the gym, the goal is to, like, break muscle, to build muscle so that you grow stronger. Right. When I break muscle, my body lacks the protein to rebuild.

And so that ultimately is what causes the slow deterioration of the use of my arms and legs.

It's.

It's not having the muscle protein to rebuild.

And so getting that news at 16, like I said, you know, I was an athlete, but now all of a sudden, when you come into the awareness that this is happening in your body, you're now kind of walking this tightrope of, like, how do I not overexert energy to the point where I'm breaking muscle and therefore losing it? And also, if you just sit and do nothing, you also. Your muscle atrophies. And so I had to quit playing varsity. I was a varsity softball player. So in.

In the short term, it looked like quitting sports but finding new ways to still remain active.

But, yeah, from the time I was 16 to now, you know, I grew up running, and I'm unable to run, and it's just looked like, yes, a slow deterioration of. I walk. I'm still able to walk a bit, but I use a wheelchair now, and it's. It looks like needing a lot of help and support.

And so I'm married, and my husband is both, like, best friend, partner in life, and caretaker. And there's really, like, basic things in my life that I require help and support.

And so I'm not able to go from, like a sitting to standing position. Almost own. I need help on a lot of mornings getting dressed and undressed and. Yeah, my.

My ability to navigate just really daily, normal activities is always shifting and changing because the older I get, the weaker I get. Basically.

Yeah. That's what I was going to ask you. If there's a fear there of how's this going to progress? Where's this going to go? Do you live with that?

Oh, yeah, definitely. You know, I think growing up in the church, when I first found out that I had muscular dystrophy, you know, I grew up in the church, and I've.

I've watched incredible people get on stages and Talk about hard things, but how, you know, you trust in the Lord and, and so I think what I, you know, as a 16 year old, when I got that news, I was just like, well, I know what to do. Like, you just trust the Lord and you just like, have faith. And then I had to go on a real journey.

What's been a really hard journey of like, wait, what does that actually mean? Because I think that I interpreted it as like, you just sidestep the grief. Like, faith, joy and, and sadness can't coexist.

I thought I needed to choose one of like, in order to exercise faith, I need to just like, be okay. I need to just like be joyful and trust in the Lord, you know. And so it's been a real journey for me to actually show up to.

Yeah, the, the real sadness and the gr. You know, there's major implications for my life.

You know, me and my husband have a deep desire to have children and all of our friends right now, we're getting to be in this really sweet season of watching them become parents and things like that. But we wrestle with this reality of like, I have a hard enough time doing the daily things of my life.

I'm not able to even like, hold a child without help. You know, like, there's, there's real grief and loss as it relates to that.

And so, yeah, I think I spent a lot of years just trying to sidestep and like, not confront the gravity of that pain and loss. And that led to a really, a really hard space of just like, yeah, it led to a really hard season in my mental health that was really, really painful.

So, yeah, there is fear.

But I think I've been on a journey of learning how to like, how do I show up and bring the real truth of what I'm feeling and experiencing to Jesus, you know?

Yeah, I can't imagine all of the things that you've had to battle and navigate and all the grief that you have felt and do feel on a daily basis. I love though, that you're actually being real about, hey, I was tempted to dismiss my pain.

I, I was tempted to dismiss the loss and just move straight to the like, Jesus answers.

I think we in Christian culture often in the church and I run into all these women who, I remember speaking at a retreat once and this woman just kept crying. Every time I ran into her at meals and breaks and stuff, she's like, why am I still crying? I thought I was good with God.

If I'm good with God, wouldn't I Be over this thing that happened to me, like, 10 years ago. And finally this just kept happening. I was like, lady, like, what happened to you 10 years ago?

And she told me this story, and she was given permission by her spiritual mentors to just move on and get over something. It was so incredibly difficult. But because she wasn't given permission to grieve, it didn't go away. I think we were invited to move on.

And I always like to say, but when we just move on, we don't. It moves with. Right, Exactly. It keeps moving with us.

And so you inviting us to understand that grief and joy and faith can all coexist is so good, Shelbi. That's so good.

Yeah. And that work is essential. You know, I wasn't just tempted to dismiss the pain inside. I did for a lot of years.

And, like, you're saying it moves with you. It caught up to me and started to leak. And so, you know, transition was kind of the thing that triggered this, like, oh, wow.

I've not really been being totally honest about. About the loss that I'm experiencing, about the grief that I'm experiencing. And I had to.

You know, I went through a real intense, dark night of the soul where I had to really show up and get really honest and be like, you know what? There's so much about life and navigating disability that is terrifying.

And I think that I had to really come to terms with, like, deep down, if I were to. If I really started to pay attention to how I prayed and how I thought internally about navigating with life, life with disability.

My prayers were like, lord, I want to die young. Like. Like, I want you to have my whole life. But.

But there was a real part of me that just did not want to get to a place where I had to experience the impact of my disability.

You know, I think I had to get honest with, like, God, if I have to live with a disability, I don't know if I want to live, like, getting that honest in prayer, bringing that level of honesty before the Lord, only then can he begin to, like, tend to that deep wound of your heart. But I think until we're able to feel it, we're not able to heal from it. We're not able to live from a place of wholeness.

And so my life came to a point where it was like, whoa, I'm dealing with some real hard stuff in my mental health.

And, you know, my life, it was like, a matter of life and death for me, of, like, if I don't confront the Real fear and the real anxiety that I'm experiencing, experiencing about my body continuing to deteriorate. I don't know if I'll be able to keep going.

Yeah.

But it's been in that place of honesty, it's been in that place of lament that I've experienced. The Lord really need me in powerful ways. Yeah.

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But it's been in that place of honesty, it's been in that place of lament that I've experienced. The Lord really need me in powerful ways. Yeah.

On a really practical note, when you talk about being that honest, you talk about the dark night of the soul. You talk about coming before God and saying, this is how I really feel about this. Did you have somebody help you do that?

Did you have someone come alongside you and sort of invite you and give you a permission slip to do that? Or like for someone listening who might be in a space where they're like, man, I've been running from what is true.

I'm not being real with myself, God or anybody else. And now might be the time that I do that. But how did you get to the place where you gave yourself permission to do it?

You know, I don't think it always has to get to this point. And I'd had people along, I had, had good mentors who had given me that permission definitely.

But what the catalyst for me it was, it became a matter of life and death as I was dealing with, you know, suicidal ideation. I was, you know, I, I was dealing with self harm. I was in a space where I was desperate.

And so that level of desperation and needing help, like I felt so powerless and so helpless that my husband and I got to a point where I was like, okay, I need some real help.

And so it looked like me actually needing to go away and get that help for an extension, extended period of time, you know, going to therapy once a week and having good people in my life who loved me, it wasn't enough to help me. Like I needed more tools to really get to the heart of stuff. And so yeah, for me, that Looked like I went to a place in Tennessee.

It was a trauma rehab facility. I spent 40 days receiving holistic care. And I think being in that environment for where.

Where I had a lot of help in people saying, like, until you, until you allow yourself to see and accept the, the reality of what you're feeling and thinking about this, you won't be able to move forward. Because when you're in that place of pain and grief, all you want is to not be there.

And I, I wanted so bad to just like, figure out the thing that I needed to believe or I needed to do to not be in this place anymore.

And, and I think it was, yeah, the help of professionals and being in an environment that was giving me space to be able to do that work, to say, oh, actually showing up to this, it's really not an option if I want to live, it became that desperate for me. Yeah.

Would you say that when you left that 40 days, you came out of that dark night of the soul space? Have you come, come into a place of light since then? Like, invite us into what has happened?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a great question. Yeah.

I think I so desperately wanted like this light, light switch moment of like, oh, it was so bad and now it's all okay. Right? And it, it's been a journey. So that season of my life is about five years ago.

And I can definitely point to things that were instrumental in, in and healing and moving from that place of deep darkness into. Into light, to use that language. So it's definitely been a journey.

But I think the biggest piece of that journey for me is, you know, when I started to experience the, you know, I was diagnosed with anxiety induced depression. When I was experiencing the symptoms and the reality of all those things, I did the thing I knew I wasn't supposed to do. I isolated.

Like, I shut everyone out. And I think a lot of that was because I had wonderful people in my life that wanted to understand and help.

But I didn't even know how to articulate what I was experiencing. It was. It felt so foreign and I felt so out of control. I didn't know how to show up in community. So I just shut everyone out.

And the biggest component to. To stepping into a space of wholeness has been community, of stepping back in and actually showing up to a space vulnerably.

To say, I still don't have all the answers, I'm still in process, but can I just be there?

And allowing people to love me in that space has been instrumental in moving from that Place of deep darkness into a place of, like, perspective and peace.

I'm sure you've thought about this, Shelbi, but as I'm listening to you share your story, I'm just thinking about.

What.

It would have required for you to agree to say yes to entering an inpatient trauma recovery program to allow other people to enter into this thing. Thing that. That you isolated. And it's interesting, too, because maybe I.

I think sometimes we isolate because we're almost protecting other people from our darkness. We. We're almost protecting them, like, we don't want to burden them with how heavy and hard this feels. If you have a big heart sometimes that's.

That's what you do. They don't want to burden other people. But I'm sure you've imagined, what if I wouldn't have done that?

And I think about people, and I know you advocate for people and you're ministering to people and speaking and writing and all these things to help people, but I'm sure there's people listening who. They might be in isolation.

They might be in a place where the temptation is to stay and keep what's really going on kind of quiet and secret and in the dark. What. What did it take for you? Because to me, it took incredible bravery.

But what would you say it took for you to say, I'm gonna allow other people into what's really going on here?

That's a great question. Yeah. When I. When I look back on that decision of. Of saying, yeah, I gotta go and get that extra help again, it was like. It felt life or death.

It felt like, you know, I'm. I'm looking at my husband and I. And I was. I really was. I was in, like, a mental health crisis space of, like, I.

I was having a hard time functioning day to day, and I really had gotten to a spot where I had believed, like, I felt. Think that it, you know, I. I had understood so much of my identity.

Looking back, this is hindsight, but so much of my identity, I think I had placed in what I. What I did. Like, I am what I do. And so as my body is deteriorating and I'm.

I'm experiencing like, oh, I can't contribute in the way that I thought I was supposed to in order to be of value. So then mentally, I'm like, well, then wouldn't it be better for me and everyone around me if I just wasn't here? That's the spot I was in.

And so I think that that moment of reaching out was, you know, of really Hearing my husband and saying like, I love you and, and I want you here and, and I think it really was like a, yeah, it just was a moment for me of like, okay, I can't figure this out on myself. I can't do this alone. I'm afraid of what I, of what I would do.

And I think it was, it was just coming to terms with that reality that was like, okay, if I really do believe that, like, there is hope on the other side of this, then I have to be willing to get help. So I don't know if that's helpful, but I think that I was just, I was in that spot where I thought I was the only one.

And I think it was just taking a risk to say, oh, maybe I'm not. And yeah, maybe I'm not.

And yeah, it was a very like, humbling and even humiliating season because I was like, you know, I was a youth pastor at the time. I'm the person who's supposed to like, have the answers.

And here I am experiencing this huge disconnect between like, what I know to be true and then what my experience is. And I think it was just, it was just recognizing that, like, I can't keep going on like this. I've got to actually make space.

I can't give away what I don't have. And so I really needed to step into that space of like, getting honest and healing and recovering.

Yeah, just bravery and humility and surrender and yeah. Being gut wrenchingly honest, which is, I mean, I'm so proud of you for, for doing that. And yeah, as you think about, I mean, that was, I think.

Did you say five years ago? Yeah, five years ago.

Yeah.

And, and now it seems like God's using you to sort of advocate for other people who are in hard spaces. What has that been looking like for you?

Yeah, I, I, I think that what it looks like first and foremost is continuing the work myself of, like, how do I show up to opportunities to get to speak or, you know, I'm on my, my church's teaching team.

What does it look like to show up to all of those opportunities and continuing the work of bringing myself honestly before the Lord and, and speaking and teaching from that place. And so I, I don't think it's something that we ever grow out of.

You know, I'm reminded of Jesus, Jesus's words where he said, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom. I think that poor in spirit requires a constant recognition of how much you need. And so I think Like, I think some of that advocacy works. Just it.

It looks like just showing up and being honest and vulnerable about, like, where I'm in process and how much I still need the Lord and then allowing him to, like, show up and move in power. You know what I mean? And so I think it's just the. The consistent. Yes. To like, okay, Lord, how do I.

How do I show up completely, like, yeah, honest before you and others? And how might that actually open us up to receive the more of you, to receive what is true and actually make space for more people at that table?

Yeah.

Well, I think it's so incredibly cool that you continue to allow Jesus to show up in your story. And the whole call to be aware that we are poor in spirit and we need God and then allow him to use that in other people's lives is.

Yeah.

Is a beautiful invitation that you're laying out for us.

Yeah. Good.

I was thinking the other day about the man whose friends I don't. We don't even know if they're friends. We know that four men carried the man on the mat to the house. The house was full. You probably know the story.

They unroof the roof and they lower him down in front of Jesus, who's teaching in a packed house. And I was thinking about that the other day, and I was thinking, wow, that's so cool that Jesus healed this guy.

Like, he could have been like, I'm busy, I'm in the middle of a sermon, whatever. Like, who knows? The rope could have dropped. They could have dropped this guy. I don't know. There's a lot of things that could have gone wrong.

Wackadoodle. But what I've never thought about in all the times that I've read that until the other day was, wow, those men experienced a healing.

The men who lowered him down, they experienced front row seats to seeing what God can do. Their faith grew. They realized Jesus has power for their lives as well by being a part of seeing.

So I just thought of that when you said that, because it's like they got to help carry someone who was poor in spirit, and that actually changed their lives forever. Right.

So I think what you're doing, in a way with your life and your story by sharing it even today, coming on here and sharing it, is you're kind of filleting yourself open and being real about your experience and the way that Jesus is meeting you in the pain.

And other people get to see his healing and his power and his hope and his light because you're not coming out here saying I'm awesome and life is perfect. But you're saying Jesus is meeting me in the pain and in a personal way, which is really like a really faith building thing for other people to see.

Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, yeah. And I think we need more of that, right?

I think sometimes in, in leadership or in whatever role it is that you play, we feel like in order to lead people to Jesus, we have to be Him. And so therefore we need to, like, have all the answers or be put together or.

But I continually come back to, you know, Paul, Paul in 2nd Corinthians 12, where he says, where he's like having conversation with the Lord about this thorn in his flesh and he receives the Lord's voice, which is, my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.

And I think that when we offer up, when we lean into the places of pain in our life, our pain becomes a dwelling place for the presence and power of God to be made known. Right? And so it's like, oh man, I actually don't have to, like, I don't have to like, be perfect or whatever.

Actually, if I want people to see Jesus letting people into the, the places of like, pain and need in my life, it allows us both to see Jesus. And I think that that's what you're hitting at in that story in the Scriptures.

It's like as we both, as, yeah, as we, as we come together and we show up to one another, we come to Jesus and that we get to accept, experience him, which is what we really need.

Right? It was in his pain, his need, his. His weakness that everyone present gotta see Jesus's power.

And so I love that you're opening yourself up to that and I love that you've hopped on here and blessed us today. I know I could ask you a million questions and we could talk all day long.

One thing I do want to ask you because you just brought up Corinthians and God's powers made perfect in weakness, which is like a verse that I go back to almost every stinking day. But you, you, you bring up the part of the verse where he says, my grace is sufficient.

And I'm wondering, on days where it doesn't feel sufficient moments in days for you where it doesn't feel sufficient, can you invite us into what you do to grab hold of Christ's efficiency? Because I think there's many of us listening who could learn from the wisdom that you have gained over the years.

From your journey oh, yeah. Yeah. How do I grab on to the sufficiency? Because you're right. There's a lot of days where. Yeah, it is. Is just.

It's just hard, and it just feels like loss. Yeah. I think for me, it requires creating really intentional space, to be honest.

And so, like, you know, just quick story example is part of the reality of my life because the disease is progressive. Moments like this happen where my husband was out of town.

This was not too long ago, and I needed to go to the grocery, so I got my car, I went up, just to the market up the road and got what I needed. And as I'm getting into my car, I fall and I'm. I can't get back up. Like, I'm not. I don't have the physical strength to just get back up. And.

And so before he had left, we had kind of game plan, like an emergency plan in case something like this happened. And so I texted my friend Maddie. She lives 20 minutes away. So, Matt, I'm just sitting there for 20 minutes until she comes. And I'm helpless.

And I'm like, you know, it's so vulnerable. Like, people are walking by, and I don't know what to like. It just. All the chaos and the reality of feeling helpless is, like, in the present moment.

And I think holding on to and reaching for the sufficiency of his grace in that moment and then in the moments after is creating space to. To feel all those things, but to feel them with Him. And so, yeah, it looks like sitting in my favorite place in my house and just saying, like, it.

It. Giving myself permission of, like, it's okay to feel.

And so I allow myself to cry or I write out the things that I'm scared about or that I'm afraid about. But then I make space to just be like, okay, so what do you say? Where are you in this? And I think imaginative prayer has been really helpful.

So I'll just, like, engage my imagination and say, okay, Lord, like, where were you in this? And I think, yeah, creating that space is really, really important in order to receive his grace.

Because I think if we just move from thing to thing to thing and we don't actually create the space, then we can't receive the gift that's on offer. But I think that it's in feeling the pain and giving voice to the grief and the fear with him is.

Is a bridge to receiving the sufficiency of his grace.

Shelbi, you have so much wisdom and such a beautiful heart, and I love that you want to Help other people while you're grasping hold of his efficiency for your own life while sharing it with other people. So thank you for being on here today.

Yeah, thanks so much, Willow. It's a joy.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I know there's going to be people who want to follow along with your story, want to be praying for you, want to reach out and connect with you.

How can they do that?

Yeah, probably the easiest way. I'm on Instagram. I'm not on a lot of social media platforms, but I am on Instagram and so you can find me Shelbi. Shutt. All one word.

Love it. Shelbi. Thank you for hanging out, friend. I hope that you enjoyed that conversation with Shelbi.

And if you love hearing stories of people who are experiencing God running into the.

The pain and the darkness and the hardship and the mess, keep coming back to this podcast because you'll see that it seems as though the people that were interviewing her colliding with Jesus are experiencing Him. Bring light into the darkest of places. Bring hope into the most hopeless of places. Bring life into the places where they're giving up.

And that, see, seemed so true of Shelbi's story. I hope it encourages you and your story where you're at today.

If you feel like you need permission to grieve or to get real, we have so many spaces where you can do that.

One of the things that I think about is checking out our counseling bundle online course where you can sit with 10 or so counselors who speak into different topics. And one is specifically on grief. So make sure to check that out.

But friend, I hope that you just got the fattest permission slip to be real with God, knowing and trusting that he can meet you in your truth. He can meet you in your anger, your despair, your doubt, your confusion and your longings. He can meet you there.

That you can't just move on because it will move, move out, move with you. And as Shelbi said, it will leak, right? It'll come outsideways that pain that you're not dealing with, that. That struggle.

So, friend, invite him into it and trust that the God who says I'm the light of the world will bring some light into that dark, isolated place. Keep colliding and we'll catch you next week.