Ian Hawkins 0:02
Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.
The day that this podcast goes out is Anzac Day here in Australia, our day of remembrance for our fallen soldiers. And for me as a youngster, and actually well into my adult years as well, I had a deep connection with Anzac Day. And strangely also, to me, was this real? It's hard to describe, but I got a lot out of funerals, let's say it felt good in some sense. And that, that very contradiction at a sad event, which yes, I felt sad as well. Why would there be an attraction to that. And you can understand even me having trouble explaining it, how that would have really confused me particularly as a youngster. While it's almost like a morbid attraction to these events. And Anzac Day or a remembrance day for whichever country you're in. It's a special day, as we remember those that have fallen, particularly if you've had family members who have served it's also like, naturally, that patriotism towards your country and, and coming together. That made sense to me. But the funeral scene was like, what what is that all about? Like, why would that be, as I've come to learn is that the attraction to those events for many people, is because it's one of the few places that it's safe for us to allow ourselves to feel emotion. Now, particularly for men in Western society, we are taught different ways on how we are to show emotions or not show emotions. And these patterns and programming is become so hardwired from a young age. And when we get at an older age, teenage adult years, and then even through to later years, is his internal contradiction. We, on the one hand, have had this programming don't be sad, don't be upset, don't be angry. For men don't be soft. And all the other words you can think of that'd be weak, that'd be a pussy Don't be a be Yeah, man up all the all that all those expressions that have that have really haven't been of service to us at all, because it's important for all of us to have that space. And again, that's why particularly if you are over overnight, oh overly, but sort of more prone to sensitivity than others, then it becomes a really important space to have that space.
So for me, it was okay for me to feel emotional, Anzac Day, it was okay for me to feel emotion at funerals. And everywhere else in my life, I was bottling that emotion up, I was pushing it down, I was suppressing it. And that's why I was carrying so much pain in my body, I was carrying so much internal angst. Like emotionally I was just so unstable, it was affecting my mental health, physical health, like the pain in my, the different parts of my body for me, particularly shoulder and back is where I held a lot of it and carried a lot of it. And then my also serve to disconnect me from my intuition, which is, again one of the purposes that emotions serve. They, the more we can trust what's showing up in our body from an emotional perspective, the more we can trust our intuition and the better results that we will get the more success that we'll find in our life. Because our intuition that inner part of us in a sense knows better than anything.
So if this is resonating with you have a think about if these moments in your life where you are able to open up a feeling good and you know Oh, that you need more of that in your life, started thinking about how you can make that a reality. And even just pausing like you do on those days to breathe, to relax, to make it okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Give yourself that space every day. Allow yourself to relax, to slow down, to find stillness, and just invite in whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions come to you. And you'll be able to use that same power that shows up for you, on these days of great importance, great significance in the calendar. And also for those really emotional moments when we say goodbye to people that allow you to process emotions, and use that power on a day to day basis. Now imagine how good you would feel if you're regulating your emotions daily. Or, as you required to each and every moment of the day, when it becomes a challenge. Some days are tougher than others, as you all know. So sometimes we might do pause a bit more and just take those breaths. Really, for me, it was such a game changer, to have that realization to understand it to then learn how to regulate to learn how to find a healthy way to express emotions, by talking to different people, by learning different strategies. And one of the ones I want to just quickly mention now and also for those of you who are listening and and would like access to my free meditation training, I've got a few of them actually. But this one's like an introduction, either to if you've never tried meditation, or you've dabbled in it, and it's never really worked, or you've been doing it for a while and you know, you could tweak something, this training is going to allow you to take that to another level by that simple thing that I talked about before, in that state of allowing, and instead of being resisting everything that's coming up, but allowing everything to flow in, because that allows you to get to that balancing and regulated space so much quicker. So I'll send you the training, if you'd like it at a very simple level, when you come to stillness when you come just to focus on your breath, close your eyes, inviting, whatever showing up. Invited in, allow it in, invited in, and you continue to breathe and relax. Everything that's coming through is there because it needs to be released. So give it space to release. It's the resistance. It's the trying to stop ourselves from feeling thinking or having different emotions that really caused the problem. Allow the space allow the resistance to float away. And you'll feel much better instantly, you can change your physiology in an instant. And as I said, if you would like the training 320 minute videos, you can move through it in your own time. There's some meditation practice in there as well, as part of those three trainings. Yeah, it's been really beneficial for the people who have joined the Grief Code group. So if you haven't done that, also, you can join in there. And that's another way where you can get access to that training. And yeah, we'd love to share that with you. Have an awesome day. I'll speak to you tomorrow.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform
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