Welcome. This is Me and Leuk, an upbeat, sometimes downbeat, podcast of my life with Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL).

Hi, I'm your host, Jim Smith and I have CLL, which, if you found this podcast, you probably already know stands for Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. But I think CLL could stand for "Could's Lived Longer!"

Did you ever have some one show up on your door step you really didn't want to be friends with? Maybe he was too high maintenance or needy.

You'd been trying to avoid him, but there he shows up on your doorstep and invites himself in. And the worst part is he doesn't even have a sense for when it's time to leave.

Well, I had someone show up on my doorstep in September of 2009. Yeah, I named him Leuk.

I'd gone in for my regular appointment and the nurse told me that my white blood cell count was a little high, but it was hardly anything. It's probably because you're coming out of a cold.

Then she told me the doctor would like to do some further tests.

About two days later the doctor calls me and says, "Jim I'd like you to come in so we can talk about that blood test."

"Well, Doc." I asked. "Can't you just tell me over the phone?"

'No," he said. "I don't want you to worry. Just come in and we'll talk about it.

The next day I go in. He and I are good friends; he's been my doctor for nearly 35 years.

So he comes in, he puts his hands on my knees, looks me right in the eye and says, "Jim, I'm sorry, but you have leukemia."

I wasn't quite sure how to react to that. It was weird. I wasn't afraid or even angry. I was just numb. It almost felt like I was watching a play, like there were two people over there and the doctor is tell the guy he has leukemia.

That probably doesn't make sense to you, but, yeah. It was an odd feeling.

In fact, I made a stupid joke. I said, "well, that's a rare disease, maybe I should buy a lottery ticket since I'm so good at getting rare things.

It wasn't a very good joke. The doctor said, "Well, you're taking it well."

The truth is I wasn't taking it well at all.

For the next two years I didn't have any real symptoms and Leuk was kind of like one of those invisible friends children have. You know, like not really there?

But during those two years I guess Leuk got tired of being ignored, because on my next blood test the doctor said, "well, your white blood cell count has been steadily increasing. It's twice what it was in 2009.

So... That was interesting...

Well, if you're with me so far, you've probably noticed this is not your your normal leukemia podcast.

This one is more about how to live life despite your CLL.

I know the word leukemia is scary. It is, after all, a life threatening disease. But here's the thing. I believe life isn't about how long you've got. It's how you live it that matters.

That's really what this is all about. I won't always be talking about leukemia. Sometimes I'll just be talking about how my day went and what I did to avoid thinking of leukemia.

Because Leuk is a mean taskmaster. If you let him, he'll take over your thoughts and pretty soon that's all you can think about.

So this podcast is about how I live my life with CLL. And along the way, hopefully there will be something in there that will help you.

Also, for the last 9 years or so, I've been writing a blog called Me and Leuk. And it is also along this same theme of keeping Leuk from taking over your thoughts.

So if you'd like to check that out, it's at: meandleuk.com

Maybe there will be something there that will help you out.

Okay, so what did I do today to keep my mind off leukemia?...