Description: From ChatGPT and Claude's passive-aggressive blog posts to tech bros battling over humanity's destiny, we're all just innocent bystanders in AI's algorithmic dick-measuring contest. Silicon Valley promised utopia but delivered digital chaos with better marketing.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

We worship at the altar of AI because mediocrity loves company that thinks it's special. Why? Because real self-improvement is hard, but downloading an app that tells you you're special is easy. We've traded genuine connection for algorithmic validation because facing actual humans means facing actual rejection. Meanwhile, tech billionaires repackage our data addiction as "progress" while they colonize Mars and we doomscroll through digital breadcrumbs, mistaking personalized ads for personality. The ultimate con? We're paying for our own surveillance with both dollars and dignity—like volunteering to build your own prison cell and thanking the warden for the opportunity.