Shani Rigsbee shares her powerful journey of resilience and self-discovery following a life-altering diagnosis of ovarian cancer at the age of 26.

As she navigated a medical crisis that disrupted her life, Shani emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and the strength found in embracing one's struggles. Through candid conversations, she reveals how her supportive upbringing fostered a mindset that allowed her to find purpose in her challenges. This transformation ultimately led her to advocate for others facing similar battles.

Shani's story illustrates the profound connections formed through shared experiences, reminding us that our struggles can cultivate more profound empathy and understanding. Join us as we explore how her journey shaped her artistry and inspired her to help others, proving that even in the darkest moments, there is a path to healing and hope.

Takeaways:

• Shani Rigsbee's journey through ovarian cancer highlights the importance of seeking second opinions in medical decisions.
• She emphasizes the power of vulnerability and how sharing struggles fosters genuine connections.
• The role of community and shared experiences can significantly aid in personal healing.
• Shani's eventual acceptance of her journey illustrates the transformative power of adversity.

Shani Rigsbee (SHANI) is a multi-award-winning artist known for her work as a singer, composer, and producer in major motion pictures. Her career spans international music collaborations and performances at prestigious venues worldwide. Beyond her artistic achievements, Shani is deeply committed to humanitarian causes, having founded the nonprofit organization Voices Out, Inc., which supports children and animals in need.

Connect with Shani

• Website - https://shanimusic.com/
• Instagram - https://instagram.com/shani_rigsbee
• LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/shani-rigsbee-1234567
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/shanirigsbee

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Shani Rigsbee: 00:00:55

So when I was 26 years old, I was.

I was kind of experiencing some pain, and I went to my doctor, and the doctor kind of downplayed it, but did some tests and said, you know, we'll do some stuff.

He comes back, and then he says, well, I think we need to do this surgery because you've got, you know, big growth, and we need to take it out and all of that. Well, anytime someone tells you you need to have surgery, right, you go for a second opinion, usually.

So I did, and that kind of sent me on this sort of medical crisis mode. Everything in my life stopped. All the things I was working on stopped, and it was all focused on trying to get the right help medically.

I went through many twists and turns with doctors, but ultimately ended up with a surgeon who split the difference between one that wanted to do something very radical and the other one that was really downplaying it all. Oh, you're too young to have cancer. You're, you know, all of that sort of stuff. And so I went with the one that was kind of splitting the difference.

And sure enough, I did a surgery, which was more of an exploratory one, to sample and see what was going on. And I got the call that, you know, come to the office and we'll talk about it.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:02:15

Today's guest is the incredibly talented Shanie Rigsby. Shanie is a multifaceted recording artist, and she's also a producer, and she opens up about the pivotal life events that really defined her path.

And she highlights the strength found in embracing her own vulnerability during a really challenging health battle.

We'll explore how her supportive upbringing laid the foundation for her resilience and go after things in a way that maybe others like myself might not understand.

And she talks about how sharing personal stories can foster these genuine connections in a world that's often dominated by this social media highlight reels. Shani's insights remind us that in our shared struggles, which I talk about all the time, we discover the true essence of human connection.

So I think you will really resonate with Shani's story, even if you didn't go through the same exact battles that she went through. A lot of the commonalities that we share across the board will really make you connect with what Shani has to share today.

So without further ado, here is my conversation with Cheyney Rigsby. I'm Macgill Hooley. And this is the life shift. Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever. Hello, my friends.

Welcome to the Life Shift podcast. I am here with Shani. Hello, Shani.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:03:46

Hello there. How are you?

Matt Gilhooly: 00:03:48

Oh, you know, so good. And the little secret to everyone listening is that we've been talking for a few minutes.

So this is what I call the awkward hello part of the episode. Where are you joining us from today?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:03:59

I am in Rancho Mirage, California, today. Oh.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:02

And I don't know where that is. So it's. Where is that?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:05

It's basically greater Palm Springs, the Palm Springs area of California. But it's kind of an offshoot where a lot of golf courses, which I don't play, but I think are really awfully pretty. Our country clothes and stuff.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:18

I agree. I think they're pretty. And I. There's probably not a sport that I'm worse at than golf.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:24

Me too.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:25

It's pretty terrible.

Basketball is a close second, but I'm pretty terrible at golf to the point where I went to topgolf once and had a blister within, like the first five minutes, I think.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:36

So it's a humbling experience, isn't it?

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:40

It is. And then I'll never do it again.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:41

That's right.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:42

So that's great.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:43

Yeah.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:43

Yeah. Well, thank you for wanting to be a part of the Life Shift podcast.

Shout out to Scott for connecting us and allowing for this conversation to unfold in the way that the universe wanted it to unfold.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:04:54

That's so right. And I'm so happy to be here with you.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:04:57

Well, for anyone listening for the first time that's never listened to the Life Shift podcast before and is listening because Shani's on this show stems from my own personal experience. When I was 8, my mom died in a motorcycle accident. My parents were divorced, lived states away.

And at that moment when my dad had to sit me down and tell me that my mom had died, everything that anyone had ever envisioned for my life changed in that moment. And it really was this life shifting moment that affected me for decades after that because of a really failed grief journey that I.

I like to affectionately call it. And all that time in this was late 80s, early 90s, most people weren't talking about mental health. They weren't talking about, like, grief and a kid.

Kid's gonna bounce back. He'll be fine.

But in the behind the scenes, I was always wondering if other people had these moments, like, changed everything and turned everything upside down and made us a different person than maybe we were supposed to be. And so I started this podcast and now I know that a lot of people do and that we have multiple life Shift moments in our lives.

And it's just really been this beautiful experience of hearing people's journeys, whether these are external things that have changed us, whether these are internal fires where people have just, like, quit a job one day and run off and done something else that they always dreamed of doing.

But it's just really been a journey of connection, if you will, and understanding that we have so much more in common than we have in our differences. So I just.

I'm just so grateful for this and the ability to have conversations with essentially strangers who, by the end of this hour, we become closer friends. So thank you for wanting to join this journey and thank you, everyone, for listening.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:06:45

It's so powerful. It's.

And I think it's so important to share, you know, some of our innermost struggles, because especially nowadays in social media, when everything is in sort of snippets and sound bites, people are putting their best lives. I'm living my best life right on display. But that's not real life. It's really not. So. No.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:07:06

And, you know, I was talking to someone else about this recently, and I was thinking, I can't relate to so many of those highlight reels that people share. I can relate to when someone is vulnerable and someone is in a darker part or someone is in that valley.

Those are the moments that I connect the most. And maybe that's my own trauma speaking, but I feel like that's where we're. We're most connected as humans.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:07:30

Yes.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:07:31

And not so much in, like, I just won this award or I just got this promotion. It's like, well, cool, but I can't relate.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:07:38

It's so true. And I also feel like so many people probably think what you think, which is a comparison of why am I not that happy? Or why am I not in this.

This person seems to be in this state of bliss.

And sure, we all have moments, but I think the reality check is that most of us are running around, we're trying to take care of things and take care of people and your dependence and whatever all that is. And sometimes it just appears that others are just living this life of. It's all a highlight. Right. And I just.

I don't think that's healthy to keep in the world, especially for younger people thinking that that's what their life is supposed to be, too. As adults, we need to kind of correct the record. You know, that. Remember, this is not all reality. This is just social media.

It's almost like, you know those disclaimers when they say, well, try this at home or this is for entertainment purposes only. I feel like it's almost like social media should say that this is for entertainment purposes only. Don't take all this too seriously.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:08:40

You know, do you think people are getting better, sharing their vulnerabilities? Do you think it's less performative?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:08:46

I would like to think so. I mean, you. I don't know your age, and you don't have to tell me, but we likely grew up in the Oprah era, right. You know, and pre Oprah.

I think when I was a small child, people didn't talk about feelings people didn't talk about. I mean, everybody went to school with a good face on. I think that was pretty much expected.

And if you weren't, you were probably shuffled off to the counselor and sent away, you know, But I think that zeroing in on Oprah, because I feel like that was sort of one of the earlier talk shows where she kind of. That was her thing, was to get you to talk, you know, and make people realize it was okay to talk about your vulnerabilities.

And then there were a lot of copycats after that, which maybe even did it better. But that has changed society, I think. And even for me, knowing that you have permission to talk about the things.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:09:45

That aren't working, I hope people get more vulnerable and more, I think, showing the full human, I think, is just so valuable to. To everyone else as well. Including the storyteller. Right. Including the person sharing it. Because you get it all out. You just.

It's a lot to keep it all in and, you know, pretend everything is fine when really you're just being a human and life has ups and downs.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:10:10

Yeah. And honestly, I don't think that, you know, everyone can afford a therapist also, you know, they might think, well, gosh, I want to.

I feel like I need to process, but I don't have the money to go to a therapist and commit to 10 sessions or whatever that would be. Right. And so you need to be able to find outlets. It could be with the closest friends or family member, but it could also be with a total stranger.

That just makes you feel safe and unjudged. Right. And whatever that is, people need to be able to find that.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:10:43

Well, I appreciate going down this little rabbit hole with me. I think it's so valuable. I think vulnerability is. Is a strength, I think, for a lot of. I think we should look at that in that way.

ttle bit about who you are in: 2024

Shani Rigsbee: 00:11:03

Me in: 2024

Produced a feature film that came out about a month ago, and. But in my personal life, I'm a happy daughter, wife, and mom to dogs and horses.

And I try to juggle all of that as best as I can because it's all important, you know, it's all important.

y snapshot of where I'm at in: 2024

Matt Gilhooly: 00:11:59

Yeah. What does success look like for you?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:12:03

So success is not, believe it or not, all monetary or fame. For me, it's really more.

I don't want to sound hokey, but it's like having that privilege to be able to work on projects that you respect, not that you're forced to do because you just need to get paid, but that you respect or that you might be able to implement and develop yourself. And then. And then.

And then, you know, sort of in parallel with that, working with people that you admire and want to surround yourself with, and that can be in music or in film for me, so. And then get paid for that, you know, on whatever scale that helps you live a comfortable life like that.

All of that is success to me, because if you could be making a lot of money at something that you just didn't feel yourself in your own skin, this is not what I should be doing. Right. So to me, one could say, well, you're financially making. But that's, to me, not success. Right.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:13:04

Yeah. I mean, I think the.

Like, the goal for me is if I can show up 85% of the time and be happy about showing up and, you know, and then pay my bills and all those things, but, like, 85% of the time, I'm happy about it. You're not gonna have a great time all the time. Even the projects you love could be challenging.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:13:21

That's right. Oh, absolutely. That too. You know, and then you. But you're learning about yourself when that happens. So that's.

That's part of that constant development as a human, too.

You know, you have to allow for some of that to creep in because you're removing a layer you didn't really maybe know you had, or you need to push through.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:13:40

Yeah. Well, I love the fact that you said you don't have it all down yet.

No, because that just shows that, you know, that's that vulnerability layer that's like, I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm still trying to figure out who I am in this version of my life as I, as I move through and find what success looks like.

So I love that and just keep evolving, really. I think that's the goal, right? You don't want to get stuck.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:14:03

It's so important. And you know, I struggle with even my own kind of personal balance, you know, when not to get frustrated, when it's okay to get frustrated.

You know, trying to control your stress. And stress comes from frustration from not being able to control. And I go out of body, you know, like, you know, like, I gotta fix it all.

And then in reality it's like, you can't, you can't fix it all. I mean, I could go outside and maybe my car won't start. Like, whose fault is that, right? So you gotta find that way.

I always think it's interesting when doctors especially will say, you know, how to manage your stress. It's like, well, who doesn't want stressful, right? Who doesn't want to manage their stress? But, so that's the, you know, that's the hurdle every day.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:14:55

I can't help but think that your life has kind of taught you these lessons and the way that you approach it. So, and maybe I'm assuming wrong, but I can't help but think that.

So maybe you could kind of paint the picture of what your life was like leading up to these pivotal moments that we're going to kind of center today's conversation around and you go back as far as you need to.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:15:15

Well, I mean, if I go back to my sort of early mid-20s, I would say I still had on the sort of rose colored glasses that I thought the world was my oyster, you know, and it's all laid out for me and it's just a matter of time. And that's that period, which is, it's a good period because, you know, being an optimist helps you accomplish things.

You know, if we sat back and thought of everything that's going to go wrong, we might never leave our bedroom.

So having that sort of mindset is good, but at the same time it's also not realistic, you know, so certain things will happen to you at one point or another, will happen to every individual. We may all, may not all experience the same things, but that, you know, Period of loss or grief or extreme shock.

You know, certain things like that are going to eventually happen to each of us. And it happened to me in my mid-20s when I absolutely least expected it.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:16:22

So you said growing up, did you have these rose colored glasses? Did your parents, your mom and dad, like, give you those glasses?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:16:29

I just had. I don't want to say it was a perfect childhood, but I mean, I had a really lovely small town, happy childhood. My parents, I was an only child.

My parents said one was enough. So I'm sorry.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:16:46

Same.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:16:47

Not really sure what happened there, but after me it was quite enough. So I apologize for that, mom.

But at the same time, I grew up in Hot Springs, Arkansas and it was a really pretty place, beautiful place, safe place, and played with kids out on our bikes and on the street and all that kind of stuff. So I just had a really great growing up experience until I sort of moved to Los Angeles in pursuit of the skills I wanted to develop more and go for.

So, yeah, I think just it wasn't so much that I was sheltered, it just was kind of a simple life, you know.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:17:29

Were you supported? Like, was it something where it was like, hey, mom and dad, I have this dream of xyz.

And they were like, yeah, you could do anything you put your mind to. Or was it like, be more realistic?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:17:41

Yes, I was really fortunate because I was that kid that would do like the shows in her, you know, garage and make the neighbors come and watch and do stuff like that. And, you know, and then as I got a little older in school, I got more involved in school activities.

But I knew from a really young age that I was a performer and what I was going to develop and do in my, in my adult life, I knew. So my parents had every opportunity to steer me away from it and they never did.

But they just kind of wanted me to do well as a kid, as a teenager, you know, wanted me to do well in school and participate and be involved in those things. And given that I didn't have too many opportunities to really pursue a profession in the arts, that was really what I had to do, you know.

But no, they never discouraged me. So again, that's that kind of rose colored glass, you know, my future is ahead of me and it's all going to be bright and wonderful.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:18:34

Yeah, there was no shutdown on any area.

It wasn't, you know, because I, I think mine, you know, having lost a parent that early in my life, most of my decisions were fear based, they were failure based, they were abandonment Based.

So like, for me, I can't relate to a rose colored glasses situation because I always felt like, well, if I, if I'm in your shoes, if I go to LA and want to do what happens if I don't? There was, there was always like, happens. If not when I get there, all these things will happen.

So it's just so fascinating to me to hear that people exist where their parents.

Not that my dad told me those things, but like, you just seem like you were supported and it was like, go off, go do big things, Go, you know, build your future.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:19:22

Yes. And I. And it just tugs at my heart, you know, knowing your situation, because I don't know anything other than what my experience was at that time.

And that's why I think sort of everyone has a path.

Because I probably wouldn't be the person I am now if I didn't have that to prepare me for what happened later, which then pushed me to the next step in my life. Right. So it's like each period in time is what helped me evolve to where I am now, which again, as we said, we're still learning every day.

But the things that I'm most proud of, that I've accomplished were all steps that were informed by what happened prior.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:20:09

You know, but here's the situation.

We'll go more into your story, but like, you and I, different stories, but I can relate to that experience because had that trauma not happen to me, I would not be this version. And I like this version and all the things that I've done because of that, because of the opportunities that came because of that tragic moment.

So, you know, I think that it's very similar. Yours didn't start that way, but because it started in the way that it did, things evolved in that way. So I mean, it's, it's all relatable.

Our stories are relatable and they don't have to be any what similar, you know, in that sense I think of.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:20:50

Because what you're doing is so important and keeping these kinds of discussions in the forefront. And I similarly, I believe, to your situation.

I really admire Anderson Cooper because he went through a similar scenario and he has a whole, you know, dedicated part of his life on grief and on loss and forcing people to kind of come to terms with it and, you know, meaning, don't keep it in the shadows, don't keep it buried. And you know, so here he is with his platform and he still feels compelled to share. Right. As you do.

And so I think of people and how it still continues. It still selfishly helps us too, though, because you never sort of stop processing, right?

So as much as you're trying to help others, you're also kind of still, still every day with you. And you're kind of helping and reminding yourself, hey, I'm not alone in these things.

So, yeah, I think I'm a better version of myself than I probably would have been otherwise. I'm certain of it.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:21:57

Well, and that's a good outlook at this point too, when we evolve. So you said rose colored glasses. Rose colored glasses, mid-20s. Things are, you're.

You're feeling like you're chasing your dreams and whatever that looks like, but then life maybe changes the tint of those glasses. What, what happened in that experience as you were chasing.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:22:19

So when I was 26 years old, I was, I was kind of experiencing some pain and I went to my doctor and, and the doctor kind of downplayed it, but did some tests and said, you know, we'll do some stuff.

He comes back and then he says, well, I think we need to do this surgery because you've got, you know, big growth and we need to take it out and all of that. Well, anytime someone tells you you need to have surgery, right, you go for a second opinion usually. So I did.

And that kind of sent me on this sort of medical crisis mode. Everything in my life stopped, all the things I was working on stopped, and it was all focused on trying to get the right help medically.

I went through many twists and turns with doctors, but ultimately ended up with a surgeon who split the difference between one that wanted to do something very radical and the other one that was really downplaying it all, oh, you're too young to have cancer. You're, you know, all of that sort of stuff. And so I went with the one that was kind of splitting the difference.

And sure enough, I did a surgery which was more of an exploratory one, to sample and see what was going on. And I got the call that, you know, come to the office and we'll talk about it. So that didn't sound too good.

And bring your parents or, you know, whatever. So I brought my parents and my boyfriend at the time, and that's when they informed me that I had ovarian cancer.

And I didn't know anything about ovarian cancer. I didn't know anything about it.

And so they just said, you know, we're going to do a really quick radical surgery within a week and it's a complete hysterectomy.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:24:09

Basically in your 20s.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:24:12

Yes. 26 years old. So that pretty much. So now you're being told that, you know, you have cancer, you have ovarian cancer, we're going to operate.

So that sounded hopeful. But this operation is also going to completely change your entire trajectory of your life as a woman because you won't be able to have children.

Now who's thinking about that? I mean, at that point, you know. Well, I shouldn't say who because some people actually know they want to start families early. So.

But in my case, it's like, huh, Right.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:24:42

I wasn't ready to think about those things yet. Right, right. You. It wasn't. Yeah. Wasn't part of. You were still chasing the other things.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:24:48

In my career path and the things I wanted to accomplish first and took it for granted that it would be there. But. So I didn't even have a chance to completely grieve on that because I'm scared about just being alive.

Am I going to actually survive this whole thing? And then I want to be strong for my parents. You know, it's just like all that. I don't want them to be crushed. So I'm trying to be strong for them.

And then it's just. So I had about a week to get ready for this.

And you know, if you've ever had a surgery, you know, they kind of do that whole three days before you kind of have to start eating less and on liquid and all those things. So, you know, right away you're being sent pre op instructions and here's what's going to happen.

And you just don't even have time to mentally deal with it.

But a few days in and we didn't have the Internet, like you couldn't go on and like Google ovarian cancer like we all do now, it's like, I have a headache. Oh my gosh. What does that mean? You know, we Google everything. I couldn't do that. I had nothing. So I just kind of remember what did I do even.

I mean, maybe I went to the library. I'm not really sure how I studied what ovarian cancer was, but one thing I learned was it was extremely serious and the survival rate wasn't great.

So I didn't want to fixate on that at all. But I processed with a couple of close friends. One gave me a wonderful book at the time. It was written by a person called Bernie Siegel.

It was called Love, Medicine and Miracles. She said, promise me you read this book. Well, when do I have time? Okay? So I. But I I promised her I would. And it was very powerful.

And bottom line to it was just that the mental state that you should be in approaching a surgery is very important. You have to play your role with the doctor. My role is I'm going in strong, I'm going in owning this.

I'm going in with the white light protection on my body and my power given to the surgeon to fix whatever he can. That's my job. So I shifted to your point. Always is.

Right at this moment, my job is to shift into guiding this surgeon with the positive energy that I have. And that was what I had to do to get to that place.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:27:15

Step one, did the growing up and the rose colored glasses, like I can do this, did that help in that journey?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:27:25

Extremely. Because you have to realize at that moment I did have mom and dad by my side. I had my boyfriend by my side who I was living with at the time.

And we were all very close. So I was completely enveloped. Even though no matter what anyone says, you still feel extremely alone.

You feel like, you know, it's that moment when time feels like it stopped and that kind of things are moving, but, you know, very, very slowly. I felt so alone, but I knew I was protected. I had a team that was there to be with me. That's why I had to do the work to do that work. Within.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:28:08

But you had like a week.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:28:09

Yeah, exactly. Within. I had to. Now I have to step up. It's not everybody's arms are around me, but I have to step up from within because this is my job.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:28:21

Yeah.

That feels like a lot of pressure and I feel like it served you well that you had this positive energy going into it, like built up for 20 something years. That was just you. Because I think there are a lot of people that. That diagnosis in itself is very defeating. Right.

Because you're just like, you can internalize that however you can. What did I do? How does this happen? You didn't have the tools. Maybe it was good you couldn't go to WebMD because could have been worse.

You know, like we catastrophize sometimes those things. But like I, I think about these things. Like If I were 20 something and got that, I don't think I would have been able to. I mean, maybe I would.

We never know until we hit these situations.

But just knowing my, my psyche at the time, that's very mature of you to kind of move into the space and to own it and then feel like this, this positive responsibility to, to manifest, if you will, something positive to come from this situation.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:29:27

Yes, I, again, I, I think it does go back to having good people around you that are good influences at the moment that you need them. And again, it could be a stranger, it could be a close friend, but sometimes you, you need to hear something that triggers.

And that moment of like, when my friend told me to read the book, it was something I could do, right. I couldn't, didn't have to sit and focus on, why me, poor me, why is this happening? What if I do right? What if.

But here's someone's giving me something to do. And reading this book set me up for at least feeling like I was participating. Now, whether, whether it helped the surgeons, I don't know.

But I clearly survived that surgery and apparently they were very confident when they came out about how they approached it. Which then sort of sets you up on another path. Right. Because it doesn't just stop there. But that was like giving me a directive and I needed that.

I needed something to do rather than play victim. I needed that.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:30:37

It's very easy to play victim. So kudos to you for that 26 or 20 mid-20s version of you to take on that responsibility in the way that you did.

Because I think of myself and I'm like, I don't, I don't know that I could have handled that. But I mean, that probably helped. Something stuck out, though, when you said you had to, you felt like you had to make sure your parents were okay.

Do you think that affected you in a positive or negative way? Because I know that's a big responsibility that sometimes we as children take on.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:31:08

Yes.

I mean, you know, even though, again, I don't have children, but I think I just understood innately that that would be crushing to know that your kid, you could, you could possibly lose your kid, you know, and so I wanted to be strong for them and let them know that I was okay with, with how this was going to go down.

I knew they were trying hard to help me find the right doctors and I was so grateful to be able to have insurance and the things that we, I mean, don't get me started on that, but I'm sure we'll cover, I'm sure we'll cover the. What happened next.

But, you know, I was so grateful to have that support all the way around that the last thing I wanted to do was show kind of weakness that I'm falling apart over it, you know?

Matt Gilhooly: 00:31:58

Yeah. And it wouldn't have served you well either, showing weakness that you were falling apart. So I think I Think all in the end, it makes sense.

It probably helped you. Like you said, you survived that particular surgery. But what. What you hinted at more that came from that. What?

Because I could imagine now you survived that surgery. Hysterectomy probably changes how you feel, how you move through the world. Is that true or. Poor assumption.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:32:26

So here's a little interesting thing. You're a male, but, you know, you obviously know menopause, right? So you get thrown into what's called, you know, it's. It's.

It's a technical, immediate menopause. You have. These organs are not in you anymore that are regulating your estrogen levels.

And so all the things that women experience later in life happen to me right away. Surgically induced menopause.

So, you know, they're coming at you like, okay, you're going to immediately start to experience hot flashes, and stuff is going to start to happen, and we're going to put you on hormones to help regulate that, but we can't do it immediately because you're healing from this surgery. So got to let your body kind of. So, I mean, I went home to recover from the hysterectomy, which most people will tell you it's pretty big surgery.

You know, you're kind of doubled over and all that.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:33:22

For some weeks, they're removing organs.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:33:24

Removing organs. Like a big cutting your nerves, all of that stuff. So it's pretty intense. Because I was young, though, my body healed quickly. That was good.

But they prepare you for it. Hey, this could be six weeks of pretty much discomfort. But what was really wild was having those hot flashes.

I mean, I was just absolutely wet, you know, from head to toe when I would sleep. And so it was just all of this, like, what is happening to me? Right? It's just the weirdest, craziest.

So you're mentally like, okay, I've just had a hysterectomy, but I am sweating and I am uncomfortable. And like, so there are all of these things that are happening. You don't know what to focus on. Should you focus on the now and the body?

Should you focus on your mental grief? Should you focus on the fact that someone's told you that you have cancer? You know, it's. It's the now. It's like the what ifs.

So many things going on at the same time. And then again, your whole life just stopped. Everything you were in pursuit of and doing stopped. You're not talking to those people.

You're just getting through the day, you know, So I remember those. Those days of like, this is nuts, you know, and, and why is this happening?

But I again, you know, was with my family and just wanted to get better, get stronger. And that was my focus. Just get better, get stronger and not go into the negative. Don't go there.

And so I really, that whole, you know, when they talk about like people that are in 12 step programs and stuff, like, don't get ahead of yourself. Don't, you know, get it out in front of your skis and all that, just get through today. Just get through the next hour. Just get through, you know.

And that's what I started doing. I was just like, just going to get through the day, you know, and be grateful for one more day.

I'm here, you know, and be blessed that, you know, feel this feeling that I'm good. My mom made me a great meal and I'm here with my family. I'm here, I'm, you know, this is, this is progress.

So that daily sort of thing was what I had to rely on for a while.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:35:35

Does that start to snowball in a, in a good way? Does that start to, like, build on itself?

And then sooner rather than later, it's like, oh, I do feel stronger, I do feel better, I do move into the world.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:35:48

Yes, very much so. And again, that power of the mind stayed with me. That don't fall into that pit. Now, I'm not going to say that I didn't cry. Of course I cried.

Of course I had moments. It would creep in and then I would let myself feel it and okay, that's gotta go, that's gotta go. That's just not gonna help me out.

It's like, feel it, let it happen. We're not gonna stay there, though.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:36:14

That's the key is to acknowledge it and to let it happen and then to dismiss it. So many people stop it from happening, which just makes it worse.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:36:26

It does make it worse.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:36:27

I did that for a long time.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:36:28

You really need to feel what you're feeling, otherwise it's going to happen when you don't want it to be right.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:36:34

It's going to happen and it will be worse.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:36:35

Yeah, it's not going to be good. So I think I just felt like, okay, I feel like crying. I feel like having a bad day right now.

But then you get just that whole, I'm sick of being sick and tired. I'm like sick of this. So I'm going to. And I got there. I did, I got there.

And once I could physically stand upright and function, I was able to go back to my home. And you start making, taking those calls again and people are checking on you and people are sharing.

I remember a photographer that I had worked with said, I have someone I think you need to talk to again. Total stranger. Loved the connection I had with this woman over the phone. We didn't have this sort of ability to see each other at that time.

She would live somewhere else. We had the most lovely conversation that only she and I could understand.

It was just like, no matter how much my family and friends love me, this woman gets it. And so she shared some incredible stuff with me that I was like, okay. And, you know, gave me more books to read or more things to like, focus on.

And I just thought, this woman is powerful, she's so special, and if I can be anything like her, how cool will that be, you know? And this was a total stranger. So, you know, again, that's that, like developing as a person.

And now that rose colored glass thing, they're still rosy, but it's all different now. Like what you're seeking becomes different. You know, the path of what you're going to do sort of starts to shift a little bit, you know, and.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:38:24

The definition of different things, like what success looks like, what the future looks like, those are all not necessarily moved in a bad way, but moved in a different way. Because your experience now informs how you see those things, I would imagine.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:38:39

Yes.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:38:39

Because that's. I mean, you. That's essentially if we want to be like, if we want to pinpoint it, that's like a.

If you had not mentioned that pain right to someone, it could have turned worse.

It's like a life and death kind of pivot in your life in which you listened to yourself, said something, you advocated for yourself, you found the route that made the most sense with the dire situation you were facing. And your mindset through this whole thing is like this positive snowball.

If we're sticking with that effect of like bringing you to this new version of yourself where you're seeing things, things differently, creating. But yet I see it all as this. Like, yes, you had your tough moments, but like all this positivity. If you.

Not like toxic, but in a way that is serving you because you're doing the best you can with what you have.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:39:32

It's so true. And I felt like.

I felt like I grew up, you know, I might have been 26, but I felt like I grew up suddenly and in a different way of what it meant to kind of. You're now responsible for a lot of choices, and it's not just this is what I'm going to do, you know, this is what I'm going to pursue.

It's like I saw life and what life was about suddenly, you know, I hadn't had to make choices or come to terms with things the way that you did so early. So now I'm that person that's seeing something that other people don't. They're not experiencing what I just did. And I have to make a choice.

Am I going to stay in the world and continue to function in the world? And. And. And also the survivor's guilt is. Was a really big thing because of the thing that I had was very rare to survive it.

You have a lot of feelings with that too.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:40:43

Do you feel like you're living on, like, borrowed time or why me? Or any of those?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:40:49

Well, it's that and it's. And it's. Even if I'm not on borrowed time, even if I'm here and I get to live my life to the end, I mean, you know, long, happy lives. Why me?

Why did I get. Why did I. Why was I chosen to stick around? You know, so that's what I mean about sort of having to grow up mentally.

There was a lot of responsibility that suddenly lands on your shoulders that you got to make it all count. Now it's. It's your choices need to count.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:41:20

Does that get overwhelming? Does that put more pressure on you? Does that.

What does that do to your psyche that seemingly feels like you're ready to move forward, but now you have this extra responsibility, this guilt of, like, other people couldn't do it, so do I have to live for them? Is.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:41:37

Yeah. I mean, it's funny, I just. When you asked me that, I flash back to this one moment pretty soon after my surgery, but I was still.

Was able to move around and go out in the world and stuff. And I went and I shot this music video. And I was not the featured singer, but I was in the band at that time.

And because I couldn't move around a lot, I was placed. Was being shot on the beach. So I was placed where I could sit on the sand and participate. And because we're at the beach, I had sunglasses on.

And I remember it was a happy, happy, energetic song.

And I should feel like, imagine you're at the beach, just beautiful day, you know, waves are coming in and people around you that you like, and happy song. No reason you should not feel good. I had the glasses on it. So kind of, you know, cosmically poetic. I.

Tears are Running down my eyes during this whole filming, and I just could not stop them. And I think it's because I was thinking to myself on the outside, everything is screaming. This is beautiful and blissful.

And I feel like I shouldn't even be here. Like, this doesn't feel right at all. What am I doing here? And that just discomfort was so overwhelming that tears just came.

And it's funny because I wasn't crying at home, I was crying here. So then I realized, okay, you know, it's okay. It's okay. But I just needed more time.

I needed more time to be able to be in happy situations, you know, where I could fully feel it.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:43:29

Yeah. Yeah, that's hard.

I mean, that's just, I guess, the beauty of being human in that we can be in these situations in which we're supposed to be a certain way, but we just don't feel it. Because circumstances, right? Because life, because our body, because whatever it may be.

It's even on the flip side, if someone's deep in their grief journey and then they find themselves laughing and then they're like, I'm a terrible person. I should be crying. And it's just like, no, all those things are okay. And we're allowed to feel however we need to.

And you might have been so grateful to be alive, and you might have been so grateful to be healing. And at the same time, you were mourning things that you couldn't do. You were mourning the people that weren't able to do that. And it was a lot.

It's a tough story, but, yeah, it's a lot.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:44:26

It was a lot. And it came at a really odd moment, right? It's like the grief came when I should have been happy, but that was that interesting contrast, right?

So, yeah, it was. It was. It was a time.

So I feel like there were, you know, several moments in this course of thing that continue to push me, that I had to keep processing. Had to keep processing.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:44:53

How far after that surgery did you start to feel like more fully you again and fully accepting all the things and knowing that you deserved all the happiness that you always wished for yourself.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:45:10

So I would say I would.

I would give myself likely about maybe six months, you know, where I was physically not focusing on the pain, on the literal inflammation and pain that you just kind of. You're still feeling icky or whatever. And my body had to adjust, so.

So when you're not physically, you know, down, you can forget about it and just go back to your mental health and space. And so I was Able to then go back and start working on my creative work again.

And the creative work gave me an outlet which again, continued to introduce me to new people. And if I was willing to share even that much, I would be introduced to someone who would become pivotal to that stage of where I was.

So the work that I was doing. Yeah. It just. It's just so interesting how that happens. You got here. Here's the thing. You've got to show up. Okay?

Because if you show up to life now, you're giving yourself an opportunity to attract someone who is going to then give you another little nugget of something that will open a new door for you.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:46:33

I would add to that. You have to show up fully yourself.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:46:36

Yes.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:46:36

And not show up what you think other people want to see or hear from you, because that's not gonna serve. That might get you a little bit farther. But showing up as yourself is gonna introduce you to the right people and open the door to the right spaces.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:46:53

And then you start to realize, hey, wait a minute. I think I'm on a journey here. This. I'm seeing a pattern. You know, I have a pattern. I. And I flipped it into.

You know, I flipped it into the sort of, why me? Into spiritually speaking. Maybe I was chosen. Maybe I was chosen.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:47:14

That's big.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:47:15

This is my destiny. My destiny.

It's funny because I had a song called Destiny, which I think is so funny, because I had a song called Destiny, which was, you know, not gonna belittle things I've done in the past, but it was so not about what my actual destiny was later.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:47:31

Or was it.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:47:32

I mean, you know, maybe there was.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:47:34

A little seed under there. You never know.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:47:36

Perhaps. Yeah.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:47:38

Sometimes I look back at stuff, I'm like, oh, I wonder if I did that because, you know, that subconscious part of me was trying to get out.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:47:45

Trying to get out.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:47:47

Yeah. You know, I. I think it's.

You know, your journey really starts with this openness to these experiences, and I think that probably served you really well in your healing journey as well.

Just to be open to understanding that you're not gonna be better tomorrow, but you might be better a couple days from now or a couple months from now, or life is gonna really open itself up as long as you're willing to do the work that's required of you so that you can live that best life.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:48:17

It's true. And if you. If you.

If you allow yourself again, going back to the vulnerabilities, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable when you speak to people, not that you have to come into the room with your feelings on your sleeve, you know, and let me tell you about me. It's. It's just that you got to be.

You got to be sort of there's a give and take right when you're having conversations with people and there's a window where people maybe are sharing. And if you're willing to share this even that much, you might be surprised at the person's response. So, like, for me, it was just, you know, I met.

I met an entertainment lawyer that I just, I guess happened to share that I'd had the surgery. And I didn't even go into why. I just shared. And guess what?

She was on the board of directors of a women's clinic and said, I would like to invite you to come to a board meeting if you would be kind enough. I'm like me a board member of anything, you know, 26 years old, 27 maybe at that point, why would someone want me to be on a board?

But I, I don't want to. I don't want to toot my horn. But I was the perfect person to be on this board because I was speaking.

I was able to speak to the issues of someone like myself that need it. It was a women's clinic and health and family counseling center.

So I was the person that, had I not had health insurance and family and all of those things, I would have been a client. So it was a huge honor to be asked to be on that board.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:49:57

Oh, and did that, that lead.

I'm imagining that led into other things because you, like, I feel like having that experience and helping other people in that way through story, through your own experiences, not through teaching them anything, but really just sharing, right?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:50:13

Yes.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:50:14

Did that open more doors for you that built this journey of yours?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:50:18

It did, because I remember we would have to do fundraisers, you know, we would have to raise money to keep the doors open because there were some funds you would get from the state, but a lot of it was relying on donations. And we were in a pretty crisis state where we were close to having to move or close the doors. And we came up with this fundraiser.

And I just remember sitting on my bed at home making calls because we were going to do this shoe event where we were going to be selling high end shoes, name brand shoes, and was like, well, how do we get these shoes? Well, we have to call. So who's going to call? Well, we're the board, you know, and that's. So again, I'm totally out of my comfort zone.

It's not what I envisioned for myself at all.

But I have to tell you, it was so powerful to know that little old me could pick up the phone and call, you know, whatever brand name in New York and tell them I'm representing this women's clinic and family counseling center in Los Angeles and what it's for and what we're trying to do. And next thing I know, they're shipping all these boxes because of my call. Right. And when we did the event, we made who knows what we made $30,000.

I don't know what the number was. All I know is super important. And that kept the doors open. So that would always help me process that survivor's guilt that I would struggle with.

See, because I knew I am actively giving back, I am helping to keep the door open. That's allowing someone in to come in and do their tests, that they need to do their mammograms, their pap smears, whatever the things that they're.

That is literally keeping the doors open for those people. And so whenever I would kind of start falling, I would get, nope, nope, nope, nope.

It's service, you know, being in service, being in service, it really helps you stay out of that broken, victimized feeling.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:52:19

Yeah. Did helping those people also like fill you up with that earlier definition? We were talking about what a success look like. Did that feel.

Because it didn't matter what that number was. You couldn't remember what that number was exactly because the success was in the fact that you were able to help, that you were able to serve.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:52:40

You know, the rose colored glasses girl was. I'm not saying I was a spoiled brat, but I was not geared towards service because the career path I was on was very self centered.

It was very much, I have to accomplish things I have to put. And this was not about me at all. This was all, you know, like I said, making the calls and carrying the boxes and setting up the event and doing it.

You know, all of that was just, I'm a team player, I am giving, I'm giving.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:53:13

But it felt good.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:53:14

Felt so good. That's why they always say, you know, to give is to receive. Because you're selfishly getting something back.

You know, even when you buy a present for someone, you're like, oh, I can't wait to see the reaction. Because you know, what you went through picking it out or whatever, right? Or you made it yourself or you baked it or whatever that is.

You're getting something out of it too. It always works. That way.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:53:37

Yeah. No, I think it's so interesting how life can unfold these things.

Like that younger version of you never would have imagined that you'd be sitting on the edge of your bed calling some shoe company and you know, like some high end shoe company, right, to ask for a donation and you know, but, but because of the very traumatic experience that you had and your diagnosis and the surgery and the recovery and the survivors guilt and all that, now your life is probably even more full than it would have been had you not, you know, like it just feels, feels weird to say that. But do you look at those experiences as that?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:54:15

Yes. And you know, there, there is a book called the Gift of Cancer. I'm not sure if you know that, but a lot of that mindset is that.

And this goes back to the, to the woman I told you, you know, she said, I wouldn't want my life any other way because I know this person I am is a direct result of what I went through. And I'm happy being the person I am now. And I don't know that I would have been altruistic. I don't know if I would have been empathetic.

I just don't know. And I'm grateful that I am because I see the world differently, you know.

And then selfishly, again, being in the creative field that I am, all of the music I wrote was, had just so much more depth and it wasn't all on the surface of like, you know, I feel good, I love you. You know, it's like none of that shoes. Oh, so you know, so that's a bonus right now.

Suddenly I have a lot to say and feel and emote and the emote part is big. And I'm taken more seriously as a creator because of it.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:55:32

How does that evolve into what you're doing now? So like you had this journey of you and so now you're able to do what you want in a way, right?

You can create in the way that you want and support all these things. How does that version of you trickle into this?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:55:48

So the funny thing that happens when you start getting a little bit of success is going back to that social media thing. Do people really want to hear all about your bad news? Do people really want to know all your traumas?

They want you to be happy and talk about all good stuff and smile and good energy right in your interviews or whatever you're doing. And that also felt.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:56:13

Not here.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:56:14

Not here. Thankfully not here. And again, this is going back a few years, right?

Matt Gilhooly: 00:56:19

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:56:20

So that also felt very artificial to me because I was like, oh, I can't just pretend like everything's great when I know I have all of these other things to say. But you never quite could figure out where you had the permission to have in depth conversations about things that mattered.

So you're seeking again, going back to, like, what is my role? Is my role to just write about it and people will maybe hear? But what about, like, should I be the face of something?

Should I be willing to talk about things? It felt very deceitful and dishonest. Do you know what I mean? To cover that history. And so I.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:57:07

And exhausting, right?

Shani Rigsbee: 00:57:09

It's exhausting. It's like people in the closet. It's just. It's just no place to be. So sooner or later that's going to catch up to you.

And I finally got to a place where I was like, no, I'm putting this out there. I'm putting it out there. And what are you afraid of at the end of the day? Judgment.

Like, again, this is when everyone starts to realize that you feel so much better. And if you lose some people, they weren't your people. They weren't your people.

I mean, even in Hollywood and whatever, if they look at you as tainted or damaged goods or whatever that is, whatever we put in our heads that we think we have to be, you don't need those people. So you grow from that.

You realize, you know, it's just a constant, like we were saying before showing up, being willing to put out where you are in the moment because you will continue to grow.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:58:07

Hopefully.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:58:08

Hopefully.

Matt Gilhooly: 00:58:10

Yeah, I think, I think to your point, it's so exhausting to pretend that you're one way or another or you can only share this sliver of your life. And once you get it out, it feels lighter. Like everything.

I would imagine as soon as you turn that nozzle and let the faucet run, it's like, you know, like a weight off. And if the people don't stick around, they weren't meant to be there anyway, like you said, you know, so, yeah, it's so true.

It's scary though, because I think Hollywood and, and the whole entertainment industry for so long was very secretive and very, I mean, still is in some capacity.

But also, I think people are opening up a little bit more, sharing realistic live livelihoods and the things that they do and the failures that they have and owning those. But yeah, I can imagine what that.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:59:01

I really feel. In our lifetime, we have witnessed a lot. I really do And I think we are more vocal and we are. We see it.

ever. But. But that summer of: 2020

Matt Gilhooly: 00:59:35

And you probably never would have written that 10 years ago and put it out publicly, right? 20, 15 years ago.

Shani Rigsbee: 00:59:40

So that feeling of empathy, of listening, of power, power connection, doing something about it. You know, I feel like you said, once the faucet switches on, it's on.

And, you know, race relations may not be something that affects my daily life, but I have empathy for it. Like, I want to be that ally. I want to say, I'm hearing you. You're speaking. I get it.

Just like when I'm speaking about my sense of loss or grief or struggle, I'm hoping someone's hearing me. You just are a different person when things happen.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:00:25

I agree.

And if we're lucky enough to have the ability to reflect upon it, to grow from it, to think about it, I mean, in my own experience, it took me about 20 years to grieve my mother because I didn't have the tools. I didn't know how to do it, and I used it as a crutch and just all sorts of terrible ways of processing it.

But once I got a handle on it and I was able to reflect on how it changed me and the things that I learned because of it and all those other things, then I could feel that way. You know, it.

But in the mess, if you don't have the ability or the tools to reflect upon even, like a diagnosis like that, if you go down the wrong path and you don't have these, you know, the mindset and the tools and the book that your friend offered you, had she not offered you to read that book and she. You didn't call her that day or, you know, like, yes. Who knows where your life and how your mindset would have been?

Shani Rigsbee: 01:01:19

And did. Did you feel that?

You know, because you kept it quiet for so long, then when you, you know, when you did sort of put it out there, you attracted a different, maybe group of people.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:01:32

Yeah. Oh, for sure. And.

And now to the point where I will vocally tell everyone, whether they want to hear it or not, if I'm having a bad day or how I'm feeling or. And especially as a guy, I think there's this other thing, like, where you're not supposed to Be sad or you're not supposed to be a certain way.

And I feel it's important because I am sad that I'm sure I'm not the only one. And so by sharing that, it helps me selfishly. Right. It helps me because it gets it out of my head.

But also someone else out there might be listening and going, me too. You know, And I don't feel so alone. So this is why I do this show. This is why you share stories.

You share your stories through your art, through your, you know, through your music and your films and those kind of things.

And then just sharing it here and having this conversation to strangers before we started this conversation, and now I feel like I know you so deeply in a different way because I listened.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:02:28

Right.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:02:28

And that's all we need, you know, like, we just need to listen to each other.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:02:31

That's all it is. It's. It's quite the human sort of experiences, as you said earlier. I mean, we're so much more similar than we are different.

Regardless of what the outer packaging looks like. Right. Male, female color, skin tone, race, we are human beings. And at the core, those feelings are all exactly built in us. We all have them. Right?

Matt Gilhooly: 01:03:00

Right.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:03:00

And. And how we kind of process them determines how they get manifest. And.

And then when we complain about so and so is doing so and so, or there's, you know, this person went down that path rather than judging them. It's. It's. It's like if you could look at it differently and think, you know what? I've never been in their shoes. I wasn't in their shoes.

So how can I sit here and say, well, when I don't know what that journey is like for them? So maybe if we listen and we invite them in and we give them a seat at the table, we can turn that around. It's just. We make it too complicated.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:03:41

I also think if the more we see other people sharing their stories, sharing them in an open way, I think the more permission it gives us to also share those or the people that maybe didn't feel comfortable doing so. So I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that people show up more as humans in this way.

And just like you do through all the things that you do, I like to kind of wrap up these conversations with a question.

And I'm wondering if, like, this version of Shani could go back to the girl who got the call from the doctor to come into the office and was going to have to make all these decisions. You didn't really know what they were, but you knew you were going to have to. Is there anything that you would want to tell her now?

Shani Rigsbee: 01:04:22

Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Got the chills. You know, the first thing that comes to mind is, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.

This feels terrible, but you are going to be okay. In fact, you're going to be better than okay because that's what I needed to hear, you know?

Matt Gilhooly: 01:04:45

Yeah. The unknown can be so scary. And just to know that, like, someone's got.

I mean, you had a good circle around you, so it wasn't like someone didn't have you, but to know that, like the grown up Shani was going to be, you know, like, even better because of this really tragic traumatic experience that you were about to go through.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:05:04

And. And the interesting thing is now I might be the person that someone else says, you need to call my friend Shaney.

And I would be the voice on the phone as that other lady was for me, telling them, hey, you need to read this book, or I suggest this or that, because. And they would. I would hopefully be that woman that they might admire and say, wow, if I could be like her. Right. So I've stepped into new shoes.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:05:31

Yeah.

And no doubt, I mean, even someone listening to this, if you know someone in your life that needs to hear this story, maybe it's not a direct connection with Cheney, but it's like you want to hear a story that's. I mean, that's. You're. You're serving in this way and that's. This new technology allows us to do things like this.

And so you never know who's listening right now that just like something sparked in them and they feel, okay, I can do this too, you know, just because of what you shared in your story. So thank you for being willing to have this conversation in this weird, wacky way that I call the Life Shift podcast. It's really just such an honor.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:06:04

Oh, it's so powerful. And I'm grateful to be here and thank you for having me. I'm. I'm really privileged to be able to talk with you too.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:06:11

Well, I appreciate that.

If people want to, like, check out your work, listen to your music, like, get in your circle, connect with you, what's the best way to find you and get in your orbit?

Shani Rigsbee: 01:06:22

Please, please do connect and reach out to me. So on Instagram, I go by Shani Rigsby.

My name is S H A N I Rigsby, with two E's and I have a website shanymusic.com I'm on YouTube Shani music so please do reach out to me. I'd love to connect with people.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:06:41

Awesome.

We will put those links easily on in the show notes so if you're listening and want to connect to listen to music, watch the videos, whatever you need to do, those links should be in the show notes for you. Again Cheney, thank you so much for just being a part of this journey that I am taking right now.

Shani Rigsbee: 01:06:57

Thank you so much.

Matt Gilhooly: 01:06:59

If you are listening, thank you for listening.

Like I said before, if something that we talked about today in this episode touched you or you know someone in your life that might need to hear it, please share it with them.

We would love that so much and I think with that I'm going to say goodbye and I will be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast. Best thanks again Shane. For more information please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.