Transcripts
Hey mama.
Trish:Welcome to postpartum unpacked, the realest place on the internet to talk about life after baby.
Trish:I'm Trish, labor nurse mama, mom of seven.
Trish:And now that we've walked through pregnancy together, it's time to unpack the wild, beautiful, emotional rollercoaster of postpartum from birth.
Trish:Recovery to year one and everything in between.
Trish:We're talking healing hormones, feeding, sleep, sex, mental health, mom rage.
Trish:Nothing is off limits.
Trish:I'm gonna be interviewing some of my Calm Mama Society members and we're gonna talk about real situations.
Trish:So hit follow, leave a review and let me know what you want to hear more of.
Trish:I'll be here each week cheering you on through it all.
Trish:Let's do it together.
Trish:Hey, so there's one thing that every labor nurse, postpartum nurse wishes you knew in weeks three to six after birth.
Trish:And if you do these things, it will absolutely change your recovery.
Trish:Hey Mama.
Trish:I'm Trish, labor Nurse Mama.
Trish:I have been a labor and delivery nurse for over 16 years, and I've helped thousands of families walk through postpartum.
Trish:I am also a mom to seven.
Trish:I've been through six postpartums myself.
Trish:So if you're exhausted, you're leaking.
Trish:Your boobs are hurting.
Trish:You're worried about milk or you're terrified.
Trish:Did you do something wrong?
Trish:Don't worry, you're not alone.
Trish:Even if you had a C-section, even if you are sleep deprived and feeling like Trish, you don't get it, I am alone right now.
Trish:This is going to give you some next level steps.
Trish:You can start right now.
Trish:First off, I just want you to know we are here with you.
Trish:We adore you.
Trish:We are so grateful for each and every one of you.
Trish:By the end of this, you are going to get a simple little safety checklist, so get a pen and paper so you'll know when to call your provider The exact like breastfeeding routine that I use, that stops panic and a gentle pelvic floor reset to protect your body and the one mistake that drags recovery out for months.
Trish:And I'm gonna give you some scripts to use.
Trish:Y'all know I'm all about the advocacy around here.
Trish:I'll save that one.
Trish:Mistake for the middle, so don't skip ahead.
Trish:Okay.
Trish:The truth is what you do in weeks three to six shapes your entire postpartum, your bleeding, your milk supply, your mood, your pelvic health, and that like inner voice that you are telling yourself during this journey.
Trish:This is the quiet make or break window, and most mamas don't get clear practical guidance.
Trish:Let's just face it.
Trish:In the US we don't get any guidance, so I wanna come alongside you right now.
Trish:I'm also gonna recommend that for some of these specific areas you want to actually speak with a specialist.
Trish:Okay?
Trish:So we're gonna do some quick safety checks first, because everything else depends on that.
Trish:So if you're listening to this right now, you can put it on two x, but slow it down.
Trish:When I give you the red flags that you should not ignore, which is right now, number one, you're gonna call your provider or go to the er.
Trish:If you have any of these, you are soaking a pad.
Trish:Every hour for two or more hours.
Trish:That's pretty heavy bleeding.
Trish:And in fact, if you do it for one hour, I kind of want you to call in.
Trish:So don't mess around here.
Trish:If you have a fever over a hundred 0.4 degrees Fahrenheit after the first 24 hours, also foul smelling discharge, like if your discharge is smelling rotten girl.
Trish:You need to let your provider know.
Trish:Now, it doesn't smell fantastic.
Trish:We're just gonna say that off the bat, but if you have a very bad odor with your bleeding, let your provider know just in case it's an infection.
Trish:If you have severe pain that is not controlled with your medicines, or if you have uneven swelling, like one leg is swollen or you feel a red, painful spot on your legs or.
Trish:You know, that could be a blood clot.
Trish:So I want you to let your provider know that if you have any signs of blood pressure issues, like sudden swelling, blurred vision, headache, that won't go away.
Trish:Let your provider know that as well, because postpartum hypertension is also a thing.
Trish:So we want to let your provider know or go to the er.
Trish:I'm not trying to be dramatic.
Trish:This is real.
Trish:You just gave birth to a human, whether you did it vaginally or through a C-section.
Trish:Either way, if you have any of these.
Trish:Let your provider know.
Trish:If you don't have any of these, take a deep breath, you are safe.
Trish:Let's move on.
Trish:Okay, so let's talk about normal bleeding and what that looks like and some things that you can do tonight to help it.
Trish:So your postpartum bleeding is actually called loa, and that is just your uterus clean in house.
Trish:It's not a period.
Trish:And the first few days are heavier and brighter red and may even contain some blood clots.
Trish:But over time, that flow gets less and less and lighter in color, and you're gonna go through kind of like a LOA color change, and you may have discharge for a few weeks, or even for a month or more.
Trish:It starts out, you know, red goes to pink, then it's brownish, then it's like a cream colored.
Trish:But spotting can be normal up to six to eight weeks.
Trish:And in fact, around six to eight weeks, your placenta wound is healing.
Trish:So you might have a little more red bleeding that comes and then goes away.
Trish:Here's the other thing, if you overdo it, your bleeding will increase and start bleeding red again.
Trish:So that is just your body's way of saying, girls, slow it down.
Trish:So here's what I want you to do tonight.
Trish:To celebrate you, to relax you.
Trish:After a feeding, I want you to lay flat for 20 minutes.
Trish:No phone, no holding the baby upright.
Trish:Put a pillow under your knees.
Trish:This is going to help your uterus contract and can reduce some of the bleeding and the cramping.
Trish:Try it tonight and see.
Trish:I, I promise you, you obviously are using sanitary pads.
Trish:We are not using tampons.
Trish:Nothing inside the vagina right now until you get cleared by your provider.
Trish:I actually had a patient one time, she was like, nothing, and I said nothing.
Trish:She goes, not even Vaseline.
Trish:And I was like, no, definitely not.
Trish:Vaseline.
Trish:Do not put Vaseline in the vagina.
Trish:Okay.
Trish:The other thing that I really want to encourage you guys, and one thing that I'm really, really all about inside of the full classes is setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself.
Trish:So if you're not a good boundary setter, I want you to make a promise right now to set one boundary this week.
Trish:Tell one person, one person.
Trish:Please wait a couple weeks before visiting.
Trish:You're not being rude.
Trish:You're protecting your recovery like you just give birth to a human girlfriend.
Trish:The other thing I want you to do is delegate chores.
Trish:I want you to pick four chores and delegate it, whether it's laundry or dishes, or nighttime diaper duty, or taking care of your toddler.
Trish:I want you to set four chore delegation tasks, right?
Trish:Now small trades of your time buy you more healing time.
Trish:Girl, you're healing.
Trish:And this is like the most important thing you're doing right now.
Trish:If you've had a C-section, I want you to remember this is a major surgery, a major abdominal surgery, and most people who have a major abdominal surgery are not expected to take care of another little human.
Trish:So girl, ask for help.
Trish:Delegate.
Trish:Ask your your sweetheart to get that drink for you.
Trish:Ask your mama to help you.
Trish:You do not have to do it all, and you're gonna be really tired for the first few days or week no matter what.
Trish:But on top of it, you lost a lot of blood during surgery.
Trish:You lost more blood than you would have if you had a vaginal delivery, and you've got an incision that is sore.
Trish:So.
Trish:There's some things that they obviously went over with you when you were discharged, but remember, don't lift anything over the baby's weight well, unless you have a really big baby.
Trish:Like be cautious even with the baby's weight.
Trish:Don't lift from a squatting position and support your belly either with pillows.
Trish:You can even use a binder, and now a binder is not a replacement.
Trish:Let's just get that out there.
Trish:But it can help you with the pain in the beginning.
Trish:You don't wanna do it super tight, it's just to support you.
Trish:Drink plenty of water to help replace all those fluids that you lost.
Trish:Whether you've had a C-section or a vaginal delivery, you better be staying on top of hydration girl, because you are breastfeeding.
Trish:You lost all that, that water weight and all that blood and just all the shifts.
Trish:Staying hydrated is so important.
Trish:Now everybody's gonna tell you sleep when your baby sleeps.
Trish:And I know that's kind of the dumbest thing ever, but I just want you resting.
Trish:That's it.
Trish:So what we recommend is five days in the bed, five days on the bed, five days near the bed.
Trish:Now that can be longer.
Trish:Some cultures are like 40 days of rest.
Trish:Whatever you need, I want you to know that you are so valuable and you should be resting and taking care of yourself.
Trish:So you may not be able to sleep when the baby sleeps, especially if you have another baby or a toddler or children.
Trish:But.
Trish:Sleep as much as you can and ask for help.
Trish:Delegate the chores.
Trish:You don't need someone to hold the baby for you.
Trish:You need someone to do the dang dishes.
Trish:Okay, let's talk about your milk supply.
Trish:Again, I'm not an expert, so you're gonna want to reach out to a lactation consultant, but this girl did breastfeed the most of the nineties and the two thousands, so between three to six weeks, that's where your supply might feel a little unstable, either you feel like you're, it's disappearing.
Trish:Or you feel like you're drowning in it.
Trish:Both are normal and fixable.
Trish:One thing you might also experience is breast engorgement.
Trish:This is where your breasts swell as they fill with milk.
Trish:This is usually a few days after giving birth, but.
Trish:You might be still feeling it at three to six weeks.
Trish:They may feel tender and sore, and this discomfort usually goes away once you start breastfeeding regularly.
Trish:If you're not breastfeeding, it may last until your breasts stop making milk, which I'm not an expert in that either.
Trish:You wanna talk to a lactation consultant.
Trish:Okay, so here's what to do for engorgement, breastfeed your baby.
Trish:Get your baby on the booby.
Trish:Try not to miss a feeding or go a long time between feedings.
Trish:Do not skip night feedings.
Trish:I don't care if your baby is sleeping through the feedings.
Trish:You need to wake your baby up and feed your baby.
Trish:I had that with Lainey, like she was such a good sleeper and she wasn't growing like she like.
Trish:She started losing weight.
Trish:I was like, oh, this is amazing.
Trish:No, not so amazing.
Trish:So don't do that before you breastfeed.
Trish:If you're having some engorgement, you can express a small amount of milk from your breast.
Trish:With a breast pump or by hand, I feel like by hand is so much easier.
Trish:You can even jump in a warm shower.
Trish:Lay warm towels on your breast to help get the milk flowing.
Trish:Now, if you're listening to this ahead of time, you're like, why would I have to do all that?
Trish:Like, girl, you have no idea how rock freaking solid hard your breast can get when it's engorge like you ca. You can't even actually squeeze it sometimes.
Trish:So the warm shower and letting that warm water hit your breast might be the.
Trish:Thing.
Trish:If your engorgement is really, really painful, you can do like cold packs and warm packs.
Trish:But again, I would contact an I-B-C-L-C if your breasts are leaking between feedings.
Trish:I loved the washable nursing pads, like those were my favorite.
Trish:I felt like the adhesive was like having a panty liner in my bra, and I did not like the way it felt.
Trish:But you do you if your breasts stays swollen.
Trish:Are painful.
Trish:You can even contact your provider, but your best bet is to reach out to an I-B-C-L-C.
Trish:We know some that you can do virtual appointments with and we will link to them in the show notes now for regulating your supply.
Trish:Here's my mama proven nurse proven approach.
Trish:Step one, give the baby the breast on demand.
Trish:If you're having a supply problem on demand, get skin to skin.
Trish:Get naked girl.
Trish:Let the baby lay on you.
Trish:Watch your baby's cues, the rooting suckling, and I really want you to just let 'em nurse when they wanna nurse.
Trish:And again, if you, you're really worried, contact a lactation specialist.
Trish:If you have oversupply, some people are like, oversize is amazing, but it actually can be really difficult.
Trish:And one thing that I was recommended was block feeding.
Trish:So you feed from one breast for a two to three hour block, and then you switch.
Trish:Now again, I'm just gonna tell you, reach out to an I-B-C-L-C.
Trish:So the other thing is like don't pump excessively after feeds.
Trish:Just relieve enough to get comfortable over pumping tells your body to make more.
Trish:So when you have a lot of milk, a lot of women think, well, I'll just get rid of it.
Trish:Let me get rid of it, let me pump it.
Trish:But you're actually telling your body, make more.
Trish:Does that make sense?
Trish:Hopefully that makes sense.
Trish:Now, if you think you have an undersupply, usually that's related to latch or positioning.
Trish:This is huge.
Trish:So again, increased skin to skin and just.
Trish:Speak to an I-B-C-L-C.
Trish:That's the best bet for all of these situations.
Trish:If you're breastfeeding, you have nipple pain during the first few days, especially if your nipples crack.
Trish:I am all about the ette.
Trish:We are going to stick a link in the show notes.
Trish:You want the ettes, they are the best thing.
Trish:You can also use lanolin.
Trish:You can use nipple crack.
Trish:There's a lot of stuff you can use, but just the most important thing is if your nipples are sore, have someone assess your latch.
Trish:And if you see an I-B-C-L-C or a lactation consultant, they are trained to help you.
Trish:They're trained to help you whether you have problems or not.
Trish:So working with a lactation consultant can make all the difference in the world.
Trish:We're gonna link to some in the show notes, but you should be able to find a lactation consultant that can either see you in person or do a virtual visit.
Trish:We adore the virtual visits 'cause girl, you don't even have to get dressed.
Trish:You don't have to leave your house.
Trish:You don't have to get baby ready.
Trish:So to me, that's a win-win.
Trish:We will link to our favorites down in the show note.
Trish:You can also use creams again that help your nipples as well.
Trish:But I love the ettes, like you don't have to worry about cream.
Trish:You don't have to worry about is this safe for baby?
Trish:Okay?
Trish:Let your nipples dry, air dry before you put 'em into your bra.
Trish:Because them, you could also get an infection and just having them wet all the time inside your bra can be a problem.
Trish:There's also plugged ducts and mastitis, but again, you just wanna see a expert in this area.
Trish:However, I have had mastitis it sucks.
Trish:It comes on so fast.
Trish:The signs of mastitis are the same signs of infection.
Trish:So if you get red hot, painful, your breasts feel like difficult to touch and you feel feverish, call your provider right away.
Trish:Do not ignore it because it can come on so, so.
Trish:Fast.
Trish:Okay, so again, what did we learn if breastfeeding, if you're having any challenges, if you need any help, reach out to a lactation consultant.
Trish:They can assess your latch, they can help your positioning, and they can give you a personalized plan.
Trish:Do not wait weeks.
Trish:Don't wait weeks.
Trish:Hoping it'll get better.
Trish:Just reach out right away.
Trish:Now the next thing we're gonna talk about is your pelvic floor, because this is so important and pelvic floor rehab isn't glamorous, but I really encourage everyone who's pregnant to see a pelvic floor specialist during pregnancy, I recommend that you continue that.
Trish:Afterwards, if you go during pregnancy, they can get a baseline and afterwards they can help you prevent lots of issues like leaking and pain and weakness.
Trish:So here's what you need to know.
Trish:Multiple changes happen during your pregnancy and during the birth.
Trish:That can affect the nerves and the muscles and the connective tissues in your pelvic floor.
Trish:That area is important, girl.
Trish:It's important.
Trish:So the compression, the stretching, or even the tearing that accompanies your pregnancy and your birth can lead to you having pelvic floor weakness or pelvic floor dysfunction.
Trish:Now, again, I'm not a pelvic floor expert.
Trish:I really recommend you see a pelvic floor specialist, like a physician or someone who specializes in pelvic floor that has lots of experience.
Trish:So pelvic floor dysfunction is the inability to control or coordinate the pelvic floor musculature, right the muscles, because those muscles support your uterus and your bladder and your rectum.
Trish:Postpartum symptoms can be urinary incontinence, joy, joy.
Trish:Fetal incontinence, joy, joy prolapse, pelvic girdle pain, low back pain.
Trish:There's so many different, symptoms that are related to your pelvic floor and in some people it'll resolve, but why risk it?
Trish:Why you really should definitely, should definitely, definitely should see a pelvic floor specialist because.
Trish:Those problems can impact multiple facets of your life.
Trish:Physical, social, emotional, sexual health.
Trish:So this is important.
Trish:Research actually shows that even in the best case scenario, the pelvic floor withstands immense tissue strain, dur vaginal delivery, obviously with an estimated stretch ratio of over three times normal.
Trish:And the studies show that between 24 to 42% of women report distress from prolapse, urinary, or other symptoms during the third trimester of pregnancy.
Trish:And at least 45% of women report pelvic girdle or lower back pain during pregnancy.
Trish:And this is why intervention matters so much.
Trish:So I wanna give you a little gentle reset that you can do right now.
Trish:Start with your breath diaphragmatic, inhale and slow exhales, feeling your belly soften.
Trish:So I did an episode with a pelvic floor specialist and we will link to that in the show notes so you know.
Trish:Girl, there's things you can do right now to help yourself.
Trish:And if you are leaking, if you're having pain, that is not normal.
Trish:I don't care what your doctor says.
Trish:You need to be checked out, period.
Trish:Okay?
Trish:Period.
Trish:Period.
Trish:If you've had a C-section scar massage is also something that you can start around week three, if there's no open wound and your provider says yes.
Trish:Now, for most of you, if you've had a C-section, you're probably gonna see the doctor earlier.
Trish:So I want you to listen to me, but also don't listen to me because you wanna get approval from your doctor.
Trish:And we have some information online about C-section scar massage.
Trish:But here's what I really want you to hear.
Trish:If you're experiencing any problems or pain or anything that's just bothering you, it's not normal and no one should blow you off.
Trish:No one should brush you off.
Trish:You need to be seen and to be heard.
Trish:And in many countries, postpartum, pelvic floor, physical is already a standard of care, and patients might receive a prescription for that, but your Dr.
Trish:May not tell you.
Trish:So if you.
Trish:Want to do any of those things like ask your provider if it's provided, if they have PT treatment plans because that is designed to help reduce or eliminate like pelvic floor dysfunction.
Trish:Hello.
Trish:We don't want that long-term problems.
Trish:Hello.
Trish:We don't want that.
Trish:So.
Trish:Just ask.
Trish:That's all you have to do because research suggests that fewer visits are needed overall if the care is initiated early.
Trish:So don't wait.
Trish:Ask, don't wait.
Trish:Ask.
Trish:Ask your provider for a referral and go see a pelvic floor physical therapist.
Trish:Okay, so I kind of saved this, but we're gonna talk about the emotions because, this period of life is super messy and hormones are shifting.
Trish:You're not getting much sleep.
Trish:I say this all the time, the reason they use sleep deprivation in prisoner war camps.
Trish:Is because it works.
Trish:Girl, you tired right now and I know it.
Trish:And everyone's expecting you to bounce back and that is not reasonable.
Trish:And you do not need to if you're feeling sad, like having like sadness in those first few days are normal.
Trish:And baby blues can happen two to three days after your baby can last up to a couple weeks.
Trish:They usually go away on their own.
Trish:And a lot of women don't need treatment.
Trish:However, postpartum depression, postpartum.
Trish:Anxiety, postpartum anger, those feelings of sadness and anxiety and tiredness and rage, they can last.
Trish:And if it's lasting, ask for help.
Trish:Those feelings can actually make it hard for you to do so.
Trish:It can make it hard for you to ask for help to take care of yourself and your babies.
Trish:So if you're a partner or a family member who's listening to this, keep your eye out girl.
Trish:Or or not, girl, whoever.
Trish:If you're listening to this and you are coming alongside someone who's in this period of postpartum, keep your eye out.
Trish:Postpartum depression is a medical condition that needs treatment to get better, and it's the most common complication for a woman who's had a baby, like let that land.
Trish:Let that land.
Trish:If you are listening and you are the one who just had a baby, ask for help.
Trish:Tell your partner, Hey, I am resting today at 2:00 PM for 30 minutes, and get the rest and tell them I need help.
Trish:Create some rituals for yourself and every single night, I want you writing down your wins, whether you text it to yourself or you write it with pen and paper.
Trish:When we write down our wins, it rewires our brain to notice progress.
Trish:The other thing that I want you to do, and I know this is ridiculous, we talked about in the beginning, is getting as much sleep as you can.
Trish:Obviously, don't drink alcohol, don't use drugs or anything to help you feel better.
Trish:'cause it is gonna make you feel worse.
Trish:All of those can affect your mood and make you feel terrible.
Trish:And it can make it really hard for you to take care of your baby.
Trish:The most important thing you can do is just say, help.
Trish:Ask for help.
Trish:Tell them exactly what they can do for you.
Trish:Take time for yourself.
Trish:Ask someone you trust to watch the baby so you can maybe go for a walk, connect with other moms.
Trish:This is why we have the Calm Mama Society, our membership, which you can join.
Trish:And have support from a labor nurse and doula and a community of women.
Trish:Go to Labor nurse mama.com/scratch.
Trish:Go to labor nurse mama.com/cms.
Trish:Ask your provider to help you find more support if you need more support, if you feel hopeless for more than two weeks, or have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, call your provider immediately.
Trish:This is not.
Trish:Shameful.
Trish:This is a medical situation and you deserve help.
Trish:If you are worried about hurting yourself or your baby, call nine one one Call for help.
Trish:Don't mess around now.
Trish:The single mistake that ruins recovery.
Trish:And the exact phrase you need to say to your provider to fix it.
Trish:The mistake I see over and over is trying to bounce back too fast, like having these ridiculous expectations of yourself and returning to heavy exercise or even impact classes, doing heavy lifting before your baby is ready.
Trish:And that can lead to more pelvic pain, more prolapse, and months of setback.
Trish:So take it slow.
Trish:Take a slow graded return.
Trish:Start with the breath and pelvic work.
Trish:Add in some gentle strength stuff when you get released.
Trish:Not before.
Trish:Most providers want you to wait four to six weeks after giving birth, and even then you might not be ready.
Trish:So make sure you get checked and get personalized attention.
Trish:Okay?
Trish:When you're ready to have sex, be careful and you don't have to do it just because you've been cleared to do it.
Trish:It's your choice, right?
Trish:And here's a fun fact.
Trish:You can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Trish:So my mama went in for her six week checkup and was pregnant with my brother.
Trish:So be careful.
Trish:You wanna talk to your provider about birth control.
Trish:Breastfeeding is not birth control.
Trish:It does not prevent pregnancy.
Trish:And again, you can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Trish:Here's the thing, mama.
Trish:I can give you all the information in the world, but what you really need is a plan.
Trish:A step-by-step roadmap and what to expect, what to watch for, when to see the specialists, how to get ahold of them, how to troubleshoot, and I have that for you.
Trish:It's called my Postpartum Recovery Roadmap, and you can actually grab it right now.
Trish:For just $22.
Trish:It normally is 1 97, but by being a listener to the podcast now, if you're pregnant and you're planning to join the birth bundle, you'll get this for free.
Trish:So don't do that.
Trish:If you want the full birth classes, go to labor nurse mama.com/calm.
Trish:If you want the postpartum guide week by week guidance, safety checklist system, troubleshooting for the boobies and the booty, feeding support, all of the different things.
Trish:It's normally 1 97.
Trish:You can get it for 22.
Trish:Go to learn dot labor nurse mama.com/postpartum and grab it for $22.
Trish:It's absolutely what you need.
Trish:Here's the thing, mom, we say this all the time.
Trish:You can refuse anything, but should you.
Trish:Make choices that heal you, not hurt you.
Trish:Remember, if you need specialized help, do not just listen to my podcast, girl.
Trish:Reach out to specialized help a lactation consultant, a public floor therapist, a mental health provider.
Trish:Reach out to your provider for any red flags or any other concerns.
Trish:You do not have to do this alone if this helped.
Trish:Save it.
Trish:Share it, subscribe, write a review, leave a comment and tell me where you are.
Trish:I adore you and they mean so much to me.
Trish:You know when you're talking to a microphone and you're not seeing the recipients of that to get those comments and those reviews mean.
Trish:Everything.
Trish:Next week we'll talk about six weeks and what to expect, what test to ask for and all the other things.
Trish:So hit subscribe so you don't miss it.
Trish:I adore you as always.
Trish:I'll see you again next week.
Trish:Bye for now.
