Today, we’re talking about the 1984 John Hughes classic Sixteen Candles, which is about a girl who turns sweet 16 only to have her quirky family entirely forget it on the eve of her sister’s wedding. It all takes place in the span of 24 hours where we get to witness teen longing, horniness, general slapstick hijinks, and a TON of dialogue and plot points that would NEVER pass muster today.

The film stars the 80’s teen icon Molly Ringwald as Sam; Anthony Michael Hall as The Geek/Farmer Ted (the scrawny teen that stalks Sam incessantly); Michael Schoeffling as Jake Ryan (the dreamy object of Sam’s affections); Gedde Watanabe as Long Duck Dong (the whacky transfer student from China); Kramer vs. Kramer alum Justin Henry as Sam’s little jerk of a brother Mike; and Haviland Morris as the conspicuously 3-dimensional hot girl and girlfriend of Jake, Caroline.

It has a runtime of 93 minutes, about half of which is completely cringeworthy by today’s standards.

Sins against it: Sexual assault, misogyny, underwear robbery, racism, and light homophobia.

CREDITS

Hosts: Erin Maxwell & Kristina "Krissie" Rettig

Edited by: Russ Lichter

Theme Song by: Spooky Dan