The joys of Oaxaca and the horrors of dental anxiety, with some foot fingers, excessive girth and a Rumi poem about teeth along the way.

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Onefjef is produced, edited & hosted by Jef Taylor.

We're on the bus going home.

And I have to get dental surgery in two days.

Oops.

This is episode 57 of onefjef

Hello once again, my friends.

Hola, mis amigos y amigas.

I went to Oaxaca last weekend, this past weekend, which is another place in

Mexico, for those of you who don't know.

I think may- maybe you pronounce it Wocks Sock Kaah, if that's a ton

how it's spelled to a lot of people.

Not to me, of course, but that might make it easier to understand.

Anyway, I went there this past weekend with a lovely companion named Este.

We had a wonderful time, but I didn't bring my computer

or my podcasting equipment.

Actually, that's a lie.

I have an interview that I did with Este on the bus back.

We went to see the biggest tree with the biggest trunk in the world.

A tule.

The big girth.

It was a girth.

Yeah.

Over height.

Yeah.

It was, uh, the biggest tree trunk in the whole world.

How was that for you?

I would've liked to be able to touch the tree, but only one day

a year may you touch the tree.

Yeah, the second Monday of- And there's no way I'm going there on that day

'cause that's gonna be a madhouse.

Can you imagine if we wait in line to touch a tree?

Yeah, I very might have been.

What are we doing?

Um, then we went to the, uh, Aguas de las- Yerbabuena.

What are they?

Si, that one.

The drive was the big adventure of that whole j- that whole thing.

The drive was- That was quite a- … rough.

Yeah, almost thought about throwing up a couple times, um, but did not throw up,

and you were hungover, so- Yeah, I was

yeah.

Un poco

tequila, mezcal- Mezcal … the night before, so.

Too much mezcal the, the night before, but it's beautiful out there.

It is.

Yerbabuena.

It is.

I mean- It's very free … what can we say about it?

What can you say about- It's nature … yeah.

Well, it was in a Cor- And it's crafted … it was in a Corona ad, so that's…

What?

Doggy.

See the dog.

Oh, si.

Oh, he's just walking down the street.

Wow, we're driving down the highway in a bus right now, and there's a dog

just- Oh, my God … walking down the street on the side of the highway.

Oh, there's people there, though.

What are they doing?

I don't see them.

I think that was an accident.

Anyway, the dog will be fine.

You often see dogs just wandering around.

Mm. Um, what's the prettiest place you've been to in Mexico?

Ooh No pressure Actually, the pressure.

Yeah, probably Holbox in Quintana Roo.

Is that… That's down by Tulum and all that.

Yeah.

Si.

Colebox it's called.

Holbox.

What did you like about it?

It was, it was, uh, beachy?

It's quiet.

It's beach, uh, but, um, it's quiet, not crowded, no cars.

I like that.

No big, uh- Yeah, I like that

like that, hotels.

Yeah.

It's tiny.

But there's probably a lot of that seaweed there this year.

Oh, yeah.

'Cause they've got real issues- That's a problem in Holbox … this

year, this year- Yeah, yeah … it's been a nightmare.

Yeah.

Huh.

When did- I wanna go back … when did you go there?

Mm, like, after COVID, immediately after COVID.

Oh, okay.

We went there to celebrate my birthday.

Holbox.

Yeah.

How do you spell that?

H-O-L-B-O-X.

Holbox.

Holbox.

Exactly what I thought.

Like a box full of prostitutes.

That one I got you.

Si.

That's where you put all your prostitutes, in the Holbox.

And then what else?

You bought about 80 pounds worth of m- mole.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Because we love mole.

Si, pero I can't eat- And Oaxaca- Si … pr- produces good mole.

S- So if I'm here- The best mole … I need to get mole.

Si.

I wish I could eat the- Mole rojo, red mole.

I wish I could eat the mole, but- Yeah, sorry.

No … it's okay.

It's okay.

Just don't tell me how amazing it is afterwards.

It is amazing.

Yeah.

I thought of a great name for a mole company that Espi does

not care for, but that's okay.

And it is Hole Mole.

Holy Moly.

No, I, it's, if you, uh, people are, uh, if I play this on, it, everybody will be

like, "Incredible, Jef." Right, everybody?

And I'm gonna make a sticker restaurant that will sell stickers and mole.

You like them.

New businesses.

Si, in the same place.

Wow.

Yeah.

Me and Espi have a long… No, this is not those shoes.

This is something else.

Me and Espi have a long-standing d- d- like, a competition as to which c-

language has the best version of the word.

Like, uh, Mexican or Spanish is, for puzzle, yeah, English, puzzle.

In Mexican or Spanish, rompecabezas.

Which, rompecabezas wins.

I mean, hands down.

But then what's oops?

Oops in English is oops.

In- Well, you could say that in Spanish, but- Right, but- … it,

algo salió mal … which, I mean, no.

I mean, by the time you say it, you've a- already fallen on your face.

Algo salió, boom.

So there, put the tie there anyway.

We're on the bus going home, and I have to get dials for Adrian in two days.

Oops.

What?

Pal que palta, so what's the- Algo salió mal.

Algo salió mal.

Algo salió mal

Anyway, how are you, my friends?

That's great.

That's great to hear.

I'm so happy for you.

So profoundly happy.

How am I?

I'm not great at all.

I have to get dental surgery in a matter of about two hours.

I know I mentioned my dental issues the last week or the week before, maybe

both, and I mentioned how anxious I am at the dentist and so forth and so on,

but we're at zero hour now, my friends.

Like, I have to go in in about, uh, two hours, as I said, to get a tooth pulled

out of my face, and then I guess a implant of some sort placed in the bone of my jaw.

Let's not talk about it.

Let's not talk about it, 'cause talking about it makes it sound like some sort of

a medieval torture, which, again, perhaps it is, you know, dentistry and all.

but it's necessary because the tooth hurts and it's gotta go

apparently, according to the dentist.

So I have to go through this thing and I am feeling

a profound level of anxiety about the whole thing

I don't understand how people don't get profoundly anxious about having

to get this kind of thing done.

I'm trying to think if I would be as anxious if, if I was going in for

like, I don't know, like a regular surgery that's not mouth-related.

I think I probably would be.

But for that, I'd probably be put asleep, so that's the biggest difference, is

that I'm going to be awake for this, and the idea of being awake while somebody's

yanking a tooth out of my mouth, it's not pleasant to think about, nor will

it be pleasant to experience, I imagine.

Who knows?

Maybe it'll be wonderful.

Maybe I'll wanna do it again.

I don't think so.

But again, I'm open to the idea that I may just enjoy this experience

I'm not putting money on it though, at all.

Why didn't you get anesthesia, Jef?

Why didn't you ask them?

Well, I did.

I did, in fact.

And for some reason, it costs an incredible amount of money in

Mexico City, or Mexico in general.

Almost $1,000 to get anesthesia.

So we're foregoing that, and we're going to raw dog it through this.

I mean, they're gonna numb my mouth, I assume, but gonna get headphones.

I'll listen to headphones.

Everything will be fine

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

Anyway, so that's why there's not a very long episode this week because I

went to Oaxaca, got back late Monday night, and then scheduled this dental

appointment and was overcome with anxiety for the last few days about it.

And now as the clock ticks closer and closer to the time I have to walk over

to the dentist office and get this done,

It'll be fine.

It will be.

I'm trying to ask myself what exactly it is that I am so anxious about.

Like, nobody wants to go through unpleasant things, of course, and

that's really all that this will be, is an unpleasant thing to go

through, and that can build character.

Am I right?

Like, although the idea of a dental procedure building

character is somewhat absurd.

Uh, I'm grabbing at whatever straws I can grab at here.

So yes, there's a positive thing.

This experience will build character.

Also, it will prevent my tooth from rotting and falling

out, so forth and so on.

And this is only part one.

I guess I have to go back in, like, three or four, five months once the

gaping wound in my mouth heals so they can put the fake tooth in or whatever.

Ugh.

Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad.

Like, a lot of my anxiety comes from the fact that I am in Mexico.

I'm in a foreign country where I don't speak the language very well, and

I've only been here five months, and it, it's just… Like, were I going

through this in, in the United States, yes, I would be anxious, for sure.

But there's another level of it here.

Do you understand?

It's a lot.

It's a lot for my poor, anxious mind to deal with But it's gonna happen.

It's confirmed.

Although I did think this morning, I was like, "Oh, what if I just

tell them I'm not feeling well? I can reschedule it. I can put it

off." No, you can't do that, Jef.

You gotta do it.

You gotta be a man.

God, it's embarrassing how anxious and scared I am of

getting this dental work done.

And honestly, I think that anxiety and fear is why I've been putting it off

for so long, and probably why I'm in the situation that I'm in right now.

But don't look back.

Don't look back.

Just get your teeth yanked out and move forward.

I don't wanna make this entire episode about my teeth, so let's talk about a few

more things just so I can make it seem like this episode is actually an episode.

Oh, I got a voicemail from a friend of the pod and a friend of mine, Kirsten.

Here's some of it.

We have quite a bit of bougainvillea here in California, and we call it

bougainvillea, not bougainvillea.

So I didn't look it up or anything.

I don't know what the pro- correct pronunciation is, but there's quite

a bit of bougainvillea talk here in California, and we call it bougainvillea,

so I thought I'd provide that tidbit.

Maybe helpful, maybe not.

Anyway, thanks for the new episode.

Thank you for the correction.

I appreciate it.

Uh, yes, that is the way it is pronounced.

I was wrong.

You are correct.

It's pronounced the same in Mexico as it is in the United States.

I would say it right now, but I'm editing in the voicemail message,

so I don't actually remember what the word is that I mispronounced.

I know it's the flower on my porch.

Bougainvillea?

Is that the wrong way to pronounce it?

I don't know.

I don't have access to the message right now, so

Wow, very professional.

Anyway, thank you Kirsten for the voicemail and for the correction.

Uh, very helpful.

I will no longer mispronounce bougainvillea.

I'm still mispronouncing it, I think, but I will check it when I edit this

episode, and I will write it down to make sure that I never mispronounce it again.

However it's pronounced, that flowering bush on my terrace,

the flowers are going away.

I don't know if it's a seasonal thing, but they flowered a lot, and then they are not

flowering right now, which is unfortunate, but to everything turn, turn, turn.

There is a season turn, turn, turn, and so on and so forth.

Thank you God for the reminder.

When I was in Oaxaca, I learned that the name for toes in Spanish

is the same as the name for fingers, which is dedos, dedos

So literally toes in Spanish are just foot fingers.

Wha-

Which is, I'm sorry, it's wrong.

It's not right.

Estee and I have this longstanding kind of competition.

She's a Spanish teacher, and I'm a longstanding friendly competition

about which version of the word is better English or Spanish.

And for this one, I would say having a word for it, toes, is much

better than having foot fingers.

Foot fingers, I mean, there's many things that I think about.

There's a name of an indie rock band, Foot Fingers.

There's the name of the first album of some band.

There's, uh, something sexual.

I'm not sure exactly what.

Uh, there's a lot going on there, uh, but none of it's great.

None of it's great.

So if you are a purveyor of the Spanish language, a person who is developing

it, if you're listening to this by some random thing, let's work on a word.

I would never be one to encourage you to add words to the Spanish language

because there's already so many.

But in this case, I think, yes, you need a word.

Instead of foot fingers, you need a word.

I imagine there's other languages that use foot fingers too, but I just

don't know, and I don't want to know.

I don't wanna know

I'm gonna have to call this episode Foot Fingers now.

Oh, well

Worse things happen.

Oaxaca.

We took the bus to Oaxaca.

Took about seven hours to get there.

Beautiful drive through the mountains.

Mexico's a beautiful country.

Lots of different landscapes, really pretty.

And the bus drive wasn't-- the ride wasn't bad at all.

You know, it was long, but we stopped a few times.

It wasn't terrible.

One thing I did notice, though, I haven't really been on the highways much here

in Mexico, but people drive… Like, in Mexico City, people drive crazy, but

in the highways, like, it's nuts, dude.

We were in a bus, of course, as I said, and, like, I, you know, I imagine we

were going quite slow, and part of it, we were on, like, two-lane roads.

So basically, people just pass you whenever they want.

They would kinda just pass, and then the cars c- oncoming

cars would go into the berm.

Like, it was just like how traffic language works here.

It was just, like, natural.

Single line, double line, doesn't matter.

We'll pass whenever we want to.

It's nuts, and I can't believe that there's not more accidents because,

uh, uh, yeah, it's some crazy driving.

It's like the berm is another lane, to be honest.

And I was thinking about my friend Gary, who biked all the way to, to

Chile, how dangerous it would've been to, to bike on these roads 'cause you'd

be biking in the berm, and if cars are just using that as a lane, Jesus.

I'm glad he survived.

Congratulations, Gary.

Oaxaca is also the mezcal capital of Mexico and the world, I imagine.

So everywhere there are mezcal distilleries.

Everywhere.

I mean, boom, boom, left, right, left, right.

Just everywhere.

We went to a tour for, of a mezcal place, learned how it was made.

I don't entirely understand still, but it was interesting.

Uh, tequila is a kind of mezcal, as they say.

Like, all tequila is mezcal, but not all mezcal is tequila

Tequila's made with blue agave.

That's the only thing you can make tequila out of, whereas mezcal

can be made of all different kinds of agave, I think, apparently.

Anyway, we drank a lot of mezcal.

Not a lot, enough.

It was fun.

I don't know if I like mezcal or not.

It's like wine here, to be honest.

Like, people are very serious about their mezcal here.

They showed us this way to drink it.

Like, they poured some into a shot glass, and they said, "You put your

finger over the middle of the shot, of the opening of the top, and then

you smell of the top of the finger and then below the finger, and you're

supposed to smell something different."

I did not smell m- many different things, but I lied and said that I did.

I didn't want to upset the, uh, mezcal maker.

We saw the tree with the biggest trunk in the world.

I forget what it's called.

It's in Oaxaca City.

It's not a tall tree.

It's a Mexican cypress.

Beautiful tree, beautiful, but, like, literally massive trunk, and all

I could think of is, like, girth.

It's the only word I could think of when I was there.

It's weird, and girth kind of comes off as a sexual… Like, length is girth.

Anyway, it was a pretty tree, and my brain ruined it by thinking of girth.

'Cause there was a church right there too.

There were churches everywhere.

Oaxaca is so full of churches.

Like, every single block, giant, old, amazing-looking biblical church.

And right when we got there, like, the first evening we were there, we were

walking around, and we had just had dinner or something, and we just stumbled upon

this, this huge parade that was apparently for, like, graduating people from

college or starting college or something.

I think starting college.

But huge parade.

Like, bands playing, people marching, people with giant, weird costumes with

all this… I can't even describe it.

I'll put some pictures on the Patreon page, patreon.com/onefjef.

Sign up now.

See, that was quick and painless this time.

Anyway, it was a magical way to begin the trip.

Like, it was just like we were, like, in the parade.

We just kinda walked down the street, and boom, there it was.

Fireworks, all sorts of things.

Super fun.

That's kind of the nature of the whole trip, really.

It was just kind of a magical trip.

Yeah, super fun.

One night we were drinking in this bar, uh, sitting on this patio, like

just a second-floor patio, and I looked down, and there was a person dressed

in, like, a rabbit robot costume.

It was like a rabbit but had, like, glowing eyes, uh, holding a, a knife,

which I assume was fake, but just kind of walking down the street holding a knife.

So I don't know.

I don't know what to say about that

I didn't see them stab anybody, the, the knife-wielding rabbit costume person

And we had this meal at this restaurant, the first word of which is yeast, which

is not generally a word I would suggest is a good word to put in the title of

a restaurant, at least not in English.

But I guess in Spanish it works out better.

I don't remember the word for yeast, but apparently the first

word of this restaurant is yeast.

It's a very well-regarded restaurant.

I think Michelin-listed or something.

I don't know.

So we went there, and we had this, like, appetizer, uh, tomato salad thing.

This was possibly one of the best things I have eaten in years.

I didn't think tomatoes could taste so good.

It was all different kinds of tomatoes arranged beautifully, and there

was kind of this, like, uh, was it beet, like, puree underneath it.

My friends, I would go back to Oaxaca just to eat that tomato dish again,

and I'm not a big foodie, to be honest.

I like good food, but I'm not like, "Uh-huh, I don't know how to do it."

This was… It was transcendent.

It was transcendent.

Now tomatoes taste like shit to me because they're not made like this or whatever.

They're not-- I don't know what they did.

Maybe there were drugs in them.

I don't know.

It doesn't matter to me.

It was still good.

So yeah, if you're in Me- if you're in Oaxaca, if you go to Oaxaca, find

the restaurant th- the name of which starts with the Spanish word for yeast.

I wish I could help you out a little more than that.

But, you know, it's fun to have to look things up and figure

them out yourself, isn't it?

It is.

It is

We took a tour bus out to this place called Monte Albán, Monte Albán, and

it's this, I don't know, 500 BC was founded, this, you know, the ancient

Zapotec people, I believe, who were the original people who were in Oaxaca.

This is where they, you know, hung out, this whole amazing structure

on the top of this mountain that you can kind of see the whole city from.

It's incredible, and as you're driving out there, like, you understand why

Oaxaca is the mezcal capital of the world because there is literally

agave growing everywhere, like as far as the eye can see, agave,

agave, agave, agave, agave, agave.

So if somebody was like, "Oh, look at all the… What can we do with

all…? Oh, we can make mezcal." That's how I imagine it started.

Anyway, this Monte Albán was kind of spectacular, and our

tour guide was very good.

I wish I could, um, explain why or how, but he was good.

He was like a performer, you know?

Yeah, that was fun.

Anyway, I am becoming distracted because I need to prepare to go to

the dentist in about 45 minutes.

So I'm gonna do some yoga.

I think it's a good idea, and I will finish this later or not.

Maybe it's already done.

Maybe it's done.

If it is done, please like, rate, subscribe, and review.

It always helps.

Uh, send this episode to one of your friends or send a different

episode to one of your friends.

These things spread by word of mouth, my friends, and any word of mouth

you can give, I really appreciate.

Speaking of mouth, I'm getting dental work done today.

And I'm trying to think of a good teeth-related quote if I'm

really gonna end this episode.

Uh, I don't know one offhand.

I'd have to look one up, a tooth-related quote.

Did Rumi say anything about teeth?

I doubt it.

I doubt it.

What was dentistry like in Rumi's day?

I wonder.

I bet I could have, like, AI write a poem about teeth in the style of Rumi.

Let's do that right now.

Okay.

Write a poem about teeth or dental work.

Let's do dental work.

Dental work in the, the style.

This is exciting, isn't it?

Rumi.

Here we go.

Oh.

All right.

The dentist takes the tooth, and I say, "But this has always

been me." The tooth laughs.

"No, beloved. I was only something you were holding onto."

Then the drill begins, and the old pain leaves through a tiny door.

What remains is empty.

What remains is space.

And Rumi whispers, "Wa- what? Why?" Rumi does not insert

himself into his poems, whatever.

And Rumi whispers, "Do not fear the space.

This is where the new thing will grow

Six or seven out of 10, I'd say.

I, I disagree with the ending because nothing new is going to

grow in the socket of the tooth, but it's a good effort, ChatGPT

Hello all.

I thought I'd give you an update.

I just got back from the oral surgery, the extraction of the tooth, and the

implant, which involves putting some sort of a metal object in my jaw.

I don't know.

The good news is I'm alive.

I am in pain, and I am drooling blood, but I am, I'm alive.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Of course, your anxiety gets the best of you, and you… Yeah, I

didn't really feel much of anything.

And there's a new neighbor with dogs

And it may drive me to the edge of my sanity

Anyway, I'm really exhausted, uh, but I did wanna just throw an update in there.

It's not over.

I have to go back next week and get some stitches removed or

something, and I can't exercise.

I can't eat solid foods.

Uh, I'm gonna be drooling blood for a day, so that's exciting.

Uh, but it's over for… The worst part is over, I think.

I hope.

Yeah, there's a sense of relief

And also a sense of, "Now I have to pay for this."

But I'm gonna go lie down now and, uh, continue, get a Kleenex to

mop up the blood that's pouring out of my mouth right now.

Not pouring, but you know what I mean.

Okay.

Sorry if I'm mumbling.

I can't really move my, my entire side of my face is numb, so that's exciting too.

Love you guys.

Very good, Jeffrey