What impact can youth make in the world?  Trinity Tacheny is a young lady who is committed to building community, self-awareness, and giving back.

In this inspiring conversation, we talk about how Trinity has been through her own challenges of parental divorce and losing loved ones.  She leaned heavily into her faith, community, and finding supportive adults to continued to be inspired forward.  As a 15 year old, she believes in the power of positive impact and support on a community level, one person at a time!

Trinity talks about her own inner critic and her ability to identify and have the conversation with your inner critic. Her journey of learning has been about building from learning opportunities.  She also has solid advice for parents with how to parent their teenager.

We also talk about:

-self-acceptance and personal growth

- trusting in faith and self

- the inner critic of the teenager

-the process of trial, error, and learning

- self-awareness and being open-minded

- the impact of divorce on foundation and place in the world

- working through emotions and struggling with identity

- the impact of having an outside caring adult to reinforce trust

- getting glimpses of the impact you can make

- the power of having faith in change

- helping with community through future dreams

- listening to, supporting, and encouraging your child by taking the journey with them

About the Guest:

Trinity Tacheny is a young entrepreneur from Minnesota. At the age of 15 she runs her own nonprofit Trinity Birdhouses and she loves helping people expand their journeys through learning and positivity. She is in the process of writing my book "Learning to Learn" that will be coming out in early next year.

Trinity wants to remind others that cultivating a mindset of positivity and growth will lead you to success through trials even when things get tough.

About the Host:

Tanya's mission is to create a legacy of self-love for women that reinforces trust in themselves through our programs, coaching, podcast, and book, The Trifecta of Joy! As Founder and creator of the Trifecta of Joy Philosophy, she combines over 30 years of research and work in various helping fields, to help you achieve your greatest successes!

Using her philosophy of the Trifecta of Joy, her mission is to empower people through their struggles with the elements of awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibe. This podcast is about sharing stories of imperfection moving through life to shift toward possibilities, purpose, and power in your life!

Having had many wtf moments including becoming a widow, struggling with weight and body image issues, dating after loss, single parenting, remarriage, and blending families, Tanya is committed to offering you inspiration and empowerment – body, mind, and spirit!

As a speaker, writer, and coach, Tanya steps into her life’s purpose daily – to INSPIRE HOPE.

Order your copy of the Trifecta of Joy – HELP yourself in a world of change right here.

Get in touch with Tanya and follow the fun and inspiration in other places too!

www.perfectlyimperfect.wtf 

https://www.facebook.com/PerfectlyImperfect.wtf

https://www.instagram.com/perfectlyimperfect.wtf

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-gill-695aa358/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH9VaHVMPa-Vk0l4LTuc_lQ

https://www.tiktok.com/@perfectlyimperfect.wtf?lang=en

Hugs, Hip Bumps, and Go ahead and SHINE!

Xo Tanya

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Hi, friends, welcome to the trifecta of joy. I am so excited to share my next guest with you. Welcome to Trinity Tacheny to the trifecta of joy. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to have this conversation with you today. Oh, I'm so excited to chat with you Trinity. So my friends, I have to tell you about trinity Trinity is a powerhouse. She has she's from Minnesota and she started a not for profit called Trinity birdhouses. And she really epitomizes the trifecta of joy when it comes to awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibration and the vibration of others. Trinity tell us a little bit about trinity birdhouses.

So, Trinity birdhouses was this idea I came up with when I was younger, about just like, what if we did this thing where you could build community with the people around you, but also kind of uplift the community by supporting different causes. And so we partner with those different causes. And we put on an event and people can come and paint a birdhouse. And then we take those birdhouses and sell them, and 98% of the proceeds go back to the cause.

So the idea behind it is you bring people together that then have this beautiful creative connective opportunity, which by the way, is massive vibration rising, and then then the birdhouses are painted, and then they get sold. And so do people have the option to purchase the birdhouse that they've painted?

Yes, they do. They can purchase it at the event, or they can pass it on so someone else can purchase it and support their cause.

That's so awesome. That is so awesome. And then these beautiful birdhouses go out into the world, which by the way, provide homes for birds, and also our gorgeous decorations, and also our supporting causes. Like I mean, this is it's a win, win, win, win win. I love it. I love it. Okay, so, Trinity. You're 15 years old, like I just let's just be really honest. Like our listeners are probably like, Okay, this girl, okay? No, she's Trinity is 15 years old. And Trinity saw this as something that was a need, and something that she recognized as being an opportunity to share. So why, why what what's happened in your life that made you decide that this was something you wanted to do for others?

Well, I had, like, a few major things happen in my life. At the same time, when I was eight, my parents got divorced. And during that time, my grandpa was really sick, and he ended up passing away. And there was just like, a lot of division in my family. And then over the years, we ended up losing my uncle to suicide. And then just two years ago, I lost my grandma. And through a lot of that, I struggled with a lot of negativity. And I think all of us can say that we have, you know, cuz it just sounds like your own thoughts. But then I wanted to live a more positive life, because it really is just brings you down, when you're constantly thinking things like, oh, I don't think I can do that. I, I am scared to do that, where instead, you could acknowledge that and then build off of that. And I wanted to help other people to have that positivity as well. And just like rewrite their stories a little bit. So that's kind of where this whole idea of, let's bring the community together and also elevate it came from

love it. Thank you for sharing with us that you've been through some stuff. I'm sorry that you've lost so many people and you've been through so much. But I can see that your priority has very much been about working to elevate the vibration and feelings of others. How did you how did you elevate your own vibration and your own feelings when you were going through that at such a young age?

You know, for me, a lot of it was my faith. I had kind of like, there's so much change going on that I didn't really know who or what to rely on. So for me, I relied on God and through prayer and just like watching myself in that new identity of being beautiful being a new creation, I was able to be like, Okay, maybe it's true, and at first it was hard to believe a lot of it because I mean, you see stuff all the time.I'm where it's like, you're amazing, you're this, you're that, and it's hard to believe it if you really are just not comfortable with yourself at first, but then through kind of like this process of just kind of accepting myself where I'm at, so I can grow, you know, because if you don't know where you're at, you're not able to grow. But it was just a very slow process. You know, some days, I'd be like, Oh, I really like this about myself. And then other days, I would be like, Huh, what if we did something new and did this so we can help others too. And it was just this very slow building process.

It's a learning process. Right? Yeah. 100%. So it's that process of recognizing where you are, and what you want to be different. And then being intentional about starting to make some of that change. And, and was part of that, okay, you So you talk about your relationship with God. And so, you know, some people have a relationship with their version of God, whatever that is, I call it source, but we all have our own version. And at the end, I believe we all go back to being loving light. And so that relationship and not trust, like what I hear is at a young age, you leaned into trusting that there was a purpose in what you were experiencing. And interesting what you were experiencing, making the choices to make your life better. Now you're 15 years old, and you have lots of inputs in your life. watts. So I've got to ask about your inner critic. Do you have an inner critic?

Oh, 100%. I mean, especially being a teenager, because nowadays you have like social media, you have your teachers, your friends, your parents, your siblings, your coaches, whatever you're doing, everybody has an opinion on it. And so my inner critic, she'll take that and be like, hey, what if you're not so great at that? Or what if you're this, but it's like, but I'm not that, you know. And again, it's that process of just slowly, kind of contradicting it. Because you know, the truth about yourself, whether or not you're aware of it inside, you know, who you are and what you want to do. So it's just a slow process of just like discovering that, and then going, You know what, I think you're wrong. You know, and it's just that comfortability of being able to have a conversation with yourself in a way.

Yes, yes, yes, it is the conversation that you have with yourself, that makes the difference. And it doesn't matter if you're 15, or 105. We live in our heads all of the time. And so you talk about this journey of learning, what is that journey of learning.

So for me, it's in a way life itself, because there's so many different pieces to your lives, there's the good and the bad. And it's kind of like building off that. And sometimes you'll get a new idea, and you'll try it, and it doesn't work. And it's actually worse than it started. And sometimes you'll get a new idea, and you'll slowly apply it, and then you'll be like, This is so much better. And it's just kind of that trial and error process of living itself. Because sometimes we think that I know, I've had this experience where people will just see learning is kind of like what you do in schools. But learning is so much more than that, because it's what builds who you are, and gets you to who you want to be. So I think just a big part of that is being aware of like the different parts of your life, and then kind of being open minded about it, but also knowing what you believe in so that you can have that bass to grow and develop.

So can we go there for a second because your parents divorced when you were eight. And I know a lot of families worry about the impact of that on their kids. And they still make the decision that they believe that their children will benefit in the long run from their decision to part ways. And I know that for them, there's a lot of learning that happens. But as a kid who experienced parents in divorce, what did you learn about yourself in that? Well,

I think the biggest piece for me was because I was so young, you kind of lose what your foundation is at that age your parents. And I know like a lot of people don't even get to have parents but luckily, I kind of a boss that base foundation, but I still had what they taught me in a way. And so I would talk to people about it for one, I kind of there was a lot of anger and emotions to work through. And I've learned kind of who I was and how I handled things from what I had first been taught, which I think is a really big thing. You know, how we handle trial and challenges really does come from those younger ages. And so I think when I was able to deal with that, when I was eight, I learned what I had been taught, and I learned what I was lacking. But I struggled with identity for a really long time after that. And so I really did just have to lean into like that. I know, there is a purpose for this, I know that I am more than this, I really just leaned back because there were times where I wasn't so sure. And my inner critic, those times,

right, and I think, as parents, parents worry that the chil that children are going to blame themselves for divorce. And, and blame themselves for how they help their kids navigate loss, whether it be a natural loss, or a loss where someone chooses to take their life. You know, parents are always trying to protect their kids. And so I know that, that adults are doing their best for kids. But I think that we also have to consider, you know, where kids are at and what's happening for them. And so, you know, you said, having people to talk to who were your people. You know, for

a while, right after my parents got divorced, I had this one teacher, and she had just been very close with our family for years. But during those years following my parents divorce, I would have a lot of trouble, I would get really angry for no reason. Sometimes just because I was frustrated at life. Or I would just struggle to do certain school assignments, because I'm like, this, it didn't feel like it mattered even. But then that teacher, she would really come beside me and she just kind of speak life. And just kind of that reassurance that hey, it's not okay right now. But if you work at it, maybe one day can be okay, it can be even better than okay. And she also believed believes in God. And for me, that was a really big part. Because I, in a way, I still needed a little bit of validation. And I needed that model of hey, there is something I can trust in I have a purpose, even though everything just seems to be falling apart. And so for me, that teacher, definitely she made a really big difference

for me. Okay, let's give her a shout out what's her name,

so I call her Miss Sue, but Sue shields, she teaches at hand in hand, she's actually now the principal of that campus. And so she's also gotten to like, grow and develop, which is so cool, that she's just so amazing.

I think we need to give Miss Sue a shout out because, you know, one of the things that we talk about when it comes to adverse childhood experiences, and there's actually scores that say, when kids have certain things that happened in their childhood, it can impact them deeply. But what research shows is that it takes a kid having one caring adult in their life, to make a difference. And it's clear that, well, you may have had many caring adults in your life, one of the ones that made a big difference for you was clearly Misu. And being able to recognize that there was that caring adult in your life that made the difference is really important, right? Because the truth is that when we have those caring adults as kids especially, it is like being that voice that reminds you that you are okay, and to trust the process and that whatever you're feeling is valid. And okay. And the relationship that that she shared with you and with God is clearly about that trust and this is happening for a reason. And, and you are here for a reason. And so you took some of that reason, and you and and you didn't just be like okay, I'm gonna do this at the age of 50 and you have Trinity birdhouses in your help not for profits, to raise funds to do more good in the world. Do you understand how beautiful this really is trying to be?

I mean, every time I talk to someone I feel like I get even more of a glimpse at it. You know, because sometimes when you're in it, you don't really see but then you get like these hours Are perspectives of like, wow. And then you're like, hey, maybe this is even bigger than I thought it was, you know? It's that

opportunity for impact, right? Like, we know that as human beings on our on our journey, we impact people just through conversations like this, I know that this podcast is going to impact our listeners, and they're going to be like, Wow, this girl is amazing. She's been through some stuff. And, and she's found people to support her in the journey. And she's gone on to be at the age of 15. Like, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when I interview you when you're 25. Because at the age of 15, you are about going out there and putting goodness into the world. Why is it important to you to put this into the world?

Well, I think that oftentimes, we can kind of go through life and think, Well, maybe I can make a difference. But it's not like I couldn't make much of a difference. And the other piece for me is the community piece. Because if you have a whole community of people thinking that they might be able to make a difference, but they don't really believe it, the world is gonna stay the same, it might even get worse. But if you can, like just begin this chain of impact or impact the community as a whole, like the world will be better for it. And maybe one day, we will have some, like at least a little less pain even just because we can come around and support each other. And I, I had that experience with like some of my teachers, even my siblings, and parents even after that, where they just came in, they supported me, even if they didn't necessarily agree. And I think that that's something that can really be valuable to anyone. We've all struggled, we all need that community. So I want to help make that difference.

I love the way you describe it, because what you're describing is the recognition that we do feel sometimes like I'm just a single person, can I make a difference? But the truth is, is that we all can make a difference. So when we find places and spaces where we can gather, and literally share that light, share that positivity share that goodness, it has it has that multiplying effect, right. So someone might go to a craft night and paint a birdhouse. So on the surface, it's like a fun craft night where I go and paint a birdhouse and help cars. But what that does for us, for our own vibration and for our own sense of contribution. And just for plain and simple fun, is gorgeous. It raises our vibration, and we take that outside of that space and into the world. And that stuff is contagious. Like just like negativity is contagious, so is positivity. And so Trinity birdhouses is about not just creating an energetic and positive experience. But you're helping people fundraise too. Yeah. So So Tell, tell it tell me a little bit tell our listeners a little bit about the positive impacts that you've seen from these events.

So we're still relatively newer, so we're still figuring out a lot of the process. But it's so interesting to just see the way that like, even though people might not believe that they can make a difference when they see someone else trying it makes them want to try. And so it's just kind of increase people's ability to believe to have faith in change. You know, and I think that's kind of one of the biggest pieces that we've seen is just that. Sometimes people will be skeptical when you tell them about something like this, but through that skepticism, they can grow and be like, Hey, maybe I can make a difference too. And it's kind of that inspiration and that just belief.

Right? It's the belief in the positive change that can come from one human being at a time. Yeah, that is so amazing. Okay, so, Trinity you are 15 years old. What grade are you in my love?

I'm in 10th grade. I'm a sophomore.

Okay, so you are a 10th grade sophomore, and you are already making a difference in the world. So let's talk a little bit about where you want to go and how you want to learn and grow in your life like have you got big juicy plans?

Well, my dream has always been to start restaurants because I believe that food is such a universal language. It's just that warmth and that community building of just like Sharing a meal together. So my dream is to start my own chain of restaurants. And whether that'll be nationwide or worldwide is yet, we'll see. But I want each restaurant to be able to plug into the community around it, help out with homeless shelters have a night where like, Hey, if you come and buy a meal tonight, some of it will go to like cancer research, or just different things that can help uplift the community there. So it's not just a restaurant, it's it's kind of like the headquarters for the change in the community.

Oh, I love that having a restaurant be the headquarters for change in a community. So people can go and get a meal, but also contribute to something larger, besides their own bellies. Yeah. I love that. That is awesome. Now, do you like to cook? Is this a is this a cooking thing for you? Or is this a community thing for you? Or is it both? It's both

in my family, so many people cook. So it's just been part of my life for so long. And I mean, my grandpa, he owned his own restaurants and my uncle had his own restaurant. And so it's kind of a little bit of tradition even. But I love cooking. I love artistic expression. And there's something so fun to me about the fact that you can create something. And then it's even more than someone just looking at that and feeling that connection. They eat it and they feel it in their belly even you know, it's just this full connection. It's I love cooking, I love experimenting, and I love communities. So what could be better?

Right? You're describing nurturing on every level, right? Nurturing in the creation, nurturing in the sharing of food, and then nurturing in the possibilities of sharing it beyond the community and having impact. So amazing. It is amazing. Okay, Trinity, you are such a lovely bright light in the world. And when we were talking, I knew that you were you are not were you are the trifecta of joy. Because you bring awareness into your life, you do work to be friend, your inner critic, and I can hear it, it's it's kind of a daily process for all of us, right. And you've noticed, even at this age in your life, I don't want to diminish the fact that you're 15. Because I think it's incredible, because I think if we had all started to really build on this at at the age that you are, the world would be a different place. And maybe people would be struggling a little less. So what makes you so inspiring to me is that you see this light within yourself and within others, and you're ready to share it. I am so inspired by you. And I know that our listeners are going to be so inspired by you, because of simply who you are. Now, when we were talking, you commented that you are going to write a book. So I want to know a little bit about this book idea that you have coming.

So my current book is it's called learning to learn. And it kind of walks through a bit of the process of my life in a way. But through that it also shares this things that you can actually apply. And it is that awareness and that growth and not even just like being aware of your inner critic, but befriending your inner critic, as you said, and it just kind of shares my story because stories are so much more memorable. And I want to use my story to help others grow as well. I don't think it matters what age you are. That's the amazing thing is you can always make a difference. You can always say you know what, today, I'm going to change and it's a process, but you can start that process. And I want to help people do that.

I love that. It doesn't matter what age you are. It doesn't matter what age you are. It's about that decision to make positive change in your life first and then in the lives of the lives. It's beautiful. As long as you are breathing and as long as you are living you are in possibility. Yeah, right. You are in possibility. Trinity this has been such a lovely conversation. You are such a lovely human being and I am so grateful to be able to share you with our trifecta of joy audience. If you had a piece of advice for a parent of a kiddo, that's a teenager. Okay, so because we got lots of listeners who have teenage parents and they're going Trinity doesn't sound like my kid or they're saying And Oh, wow. Like, my my kids have been through some of the same things Trinity has what? What piece of advice would you give those parents to help them empower their kids?

I think the biggest thing is invest in your kid as much as you can. And with that, you know, if there's something that makes them really happy, or something that they really want to try encourage them, if it's something that's going to help them and you think that like, this could be a big thing for them, help them you know, we don't really know what we're doing all the time. And so we need, we need the help, we need the advice. But sometimes we also just need someone to listen. Because sometimes the issue isn't that we don't know what we're doing. It's just that we're trying to get past what has already happened. And so a big thing is also just be there to listen, your kid doesn't necessarily need you to fix all their problems, they just need you to be there to listen, because oftentimes, they might even be able to fix it. And so just support your kid in any way you can support activities they want to do encourage them to try new things. If that's the point of growth, they're at, encourage them in that take that journey with them, and just listen to them.

You said something really beautiful there, take that journey with them. So it's not about fixing it. It's about taking the journey with them. And you know, I love this. You are such a you're so articulate, and you're such an insightful speaker, because in the trifecta of joy, we talk about health. We talk about health as being honor, empathy, love and presence. It's not about doing it's about being that for and with the person you love. And that is such a beautiful description. That is the way you describe that. It's that holding space, and not necessarily fixing, but being there with them. Yeah, that's beautiful. Trinity if people want to follow you, how do they find you on the socials?

So our biggest platform is Instagram. I'm on there's Trinity, Kashmir, or Trinity underscore birdhouses. And I think that's the best place to reach us. Soon, we will have more of our platforms up and running. So keep your eyes out.

Beautiful, amazing. Amazing. I cannot wait to see the good that you do in the world and share it with even more people. Trinity. This has been such a gorgeous conversation. Thank you so so much for being here with our listeners and with me and sharing yourself and your trifecta of joy with the world.

Thank you so much for having me. Tanya, this has been such a gift. I'm so glad that I got to meet you. You know, I think it was destined to happen. And I just I've really enjoyed this time. I think we're creating positive frequency right now.