An insightful presentation on the truth about lying and it's connection to what you perceive will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage.
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Most of our life is elusive and
distorted and generalized and
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:opinionated and subjectively biased most
of the time and it's a lie about our
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:actuality.
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:Have you ever had the illusion
that you're an honest person,
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:
cause some, stir up something here.
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:You know, it was stated in the time
of Plato that all men are liars,
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:all humans are liars.
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:Let me elaborate on that for a moment
and talk about lying, the topic of lying.
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:You know, if we,
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:I have in my Breakthrough Experience
program that I teach pretty well weekly,
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:people coming in and they come in
they're really resentful to somebody,
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:and they really are angry at somebody,
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:or really infatuated with
somebody and admiring somebody.
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:And then I go through a series of steps
of asking questions to make them aware
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:and conscious of things they were
unconscious of in their interpretation and
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:perceptions of that individual.
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:And I bring their perceptions back
into balance by asking them questions.
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:For instance, what specific trait,
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:action or inaction do you perceive this
individual displaying or demonstrating
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:that you resent most, or admire most?
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:And we identify what
it is they're judging.
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:And then I ask them to be accountable,
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:because it's not wise to judge other
people without looking at yourself.
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:Because sometimes we judge other people,
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:it's reminding us of stuff
we're judging in ourself.
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:It was Romans 2-1 in the New Testament
that said, beware, whoever you judge,
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:you do the same thing.
I found that to be true.
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:So what happens is people come in there
and they judge somebody and they resent
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:somebody for some action. And then I said,
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:now go to a moment where and when
you perceive yourself displaying or
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:demonstrating that same specific trait,
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:action or inaction that
you're judging in them,
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:that you despise and resent in them.
And they go, I swear I don't do that.
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:I don't do that. I would never do that.
I pride myself on never doing that.
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:I said, let's look again.
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:And then I give them some examples of
where they may have done that and all of a
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:sudden they go, oops. Yep. I found out
that we only judge people on the outside,
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:only resent things on the outside that
represent parts of us on the inside that
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:we're ashamed of, that we've
dissociated from our shame,
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:put a pseudo cover over it,
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:a dissociated pride persona
on, to cover up our shame.
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:And then we don't want to be around the
person that reminds us of what we're
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:ashamed of.
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:So we go around and pretend we're too
proud to admit what we see in them is
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:inside us but the truth is, we do.
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:And I've been doing that exercise
for about 37, almost 38 years.
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:And believe it or not,
everything you judge, you got.
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:We only judge things on the outside that
represent parts of us that we haven't
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:loved on the inside. Now, you
may not believe that initially,
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:but I've proven that in thousands of cases
in the Breakthrough Experience so I'm
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:certain that's there.
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:But we don't want to admit it because
we think the form we do it in is okay,
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:and we justify it in our mind. But
the reality is we do the same thing.
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:So when people come in and
they're judging somebody,
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:they believe that opinion is truth.
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:But what they're actually doing is
having a subjective biased opinion as a
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:survival mechanism in our sub-cortical
area of our brain, the amygdala.
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:And we're distorting our reality and
generalizing statements and exaggerating
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:the downside with confirmation
biases and minimizing the upside with
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:disconfirmation bias
when we resent somebody,
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:we have a false positive on the negatives
and a false negative on the positives.
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:We're seeing something
there that's not there,
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:and we're not seeing something
that is there. We're distorting it.
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:And then we think that is our truth.
That our opinion is our truth,
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:and we're lying. And then if
we infatuate with somebody,
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:many people have gone into an infatuation
and thought, oh, that's who that is,
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:that's my soulmate, we have the same
number of eyes, same number of ribs,
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:same number of arms and legs, we must
be soulmates. And then days, weeks,
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:months or years, we find
out, oh, they're a schmuck,
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:they're not what we thought. And
we were conscious of the upsides,
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:unconscious of the downsides, and we had
an opinion that they were our soulmate.
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:And then over time, that whittles down
and we realize that what we see in them,
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:we had inside ourselves,
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:but we were minimizing ourselves to them
and too humble to admit what we saw in
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:them inside us.
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:And gradually we find out the downsides
of them and we start to see the upsides
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:of us. And we start to
level the playing field.
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:And we start to have a
moment of unconditional love.
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:And we finally love the individual. When
we do, we have reflective awareness,
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:we're empowered in that state. But in
that moment, we now have the truth.
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:The rest of the time all of those opinions
and all those judgments we think are
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:the truth, which are opinions,
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:are subjective biases and confirmation
biases and false positives and negatives.
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:Most of our life is elusive and
distorted and generalized and
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:opinionated and subjectively
biased, most of the time,
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:and it's a lie about our actuality.
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:What's actually there
is something to love.
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:And sometimes we wait till our last day
of our breath in our life and we finally
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:realize that all that was trivia.
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:And really being grateful and loving
people was really the essence of our
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:existence. So are we all liars? Yes.
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:In that context, we're liars. We
confuse our opinion with the truth.
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:We have a subjective bias instead
of an objective awareness. Now,
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:can we actually have a
moment of objectivity? Yes.
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:Can we have a moment of
unconditional love? Yes.
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:Do we sustain it and live
that way 24 hours a day? No.
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:But can we have a moment of that? Yes.
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:And are we in a state of gratitude and
love and inspiration and enthusiasm and
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:certainty and presence when we're
there and maximizing our potential and
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:actualizing our authenticity in that
moment? Yes. Do we have a moment of truth?
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:Yes. Do we lie most of
the time? Yes.
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:most of the time we're lying about our
existence. We're constantly going around,
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:we walk in a mall and we exaggerate people
and minimize people and judge people
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:and living in this strife constantly.
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:We have internal strife as Empedocles
said, instead of a moment of love.
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:In a moment of love, we
have gnosis. We know things.
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:When we're infatuated and we're blind to
the downside, we don't know the person.
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:When we're resentful and we're blind to
the upside, we don't know the person.
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:When we love the person,
we get to know the person.
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:We get to see both sides
simultaneously. Wilhelm Wundt said,
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:the simultaneity of these complementary
opposites is what our maximum potential
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:is.
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:The speed in which we see both sides of
an event or an individual is the wisdom
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:we have in life.
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:If it takes us weeks to see the downside
of somebody we're infatuated or weeks
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:to see the upside of the person
we resent, we're not too bright,
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:we're a bit dense, we're weighed down
with our gravitational emotional baggage,
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:instead of lightened up with our
love and pure reflective awareness.
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:So are we liars? Yes. Do
we lie? Yes. Why do we lie?
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:We lie because we want to protect
ourselves. Now let's elaborate on that.
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:When we're infatuated with somebody,
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:they represent prey and
we want to consume them.
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:When you're infatuated you want to
eat them, you want to consume them,
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:you want to kiss them, you want to
suckle on them. When you're resentful,
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:you want get rid of them, they're
predator, you want to avoid them.
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:Ou ramygdala wants to seek the
prey and avoid the predator,
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:seek the ease and avoid the difficulty,
seek the pleasure, avoid the pain,
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:seek the philias and avoid the phobias.
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:And it's basically polarizing us instead
of integrating us and synthesizing us.
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:The more we try to be one side
and try to get the infatuation,
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:the more we discover that
our infatuation blinded us.
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:And we eventually get over there and
discover it wasn't what we thought.
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:The fatal attraction.
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:And so we have ignorance
when we're infatuated and
we have ignorance when we're
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:resentful. And we basically, you know,
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:a master martial artist isn't
frightened by a phobic state,
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:isn't frightened by a predator,
they're ready to invite to dance.
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:I learned from my master martial artist
many years ago when I was doing martial
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: arts
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:you assume you're being attacked
by a predator. But to the master,
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:you're invited to dance because you're
totally prepared and whatever they're
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:going to do, you're prepared for
it. So you don't see it as a threat.
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:So therefore there's no threat.
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:You also know that the person
that you're infatuated with,
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:that you're blind to is not
your friend. Be cautious.
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:Make sure you keep your
unattached position in the
middle path of the Buddha it
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:says,
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:the desire for that which is unobtainable
and the desire to avoid that which is
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:unavoidable is the source of human
suffering. So those are all our lies.
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:Now the question is, do we have
the courage to be truthful?
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:Do we have the courage
to integrate ourselves?
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:When we live by priority and we're
more objective and we see both sides
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:simultaneously and we mitigate our
risks and we calm down our infatuations
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:and our resentments and
have self-governance,
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:we have a higher
probability of authenticity,
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:a higher probability of
walking a path of truthfulness,
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:and a higher probability of self-worth,
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:because our self-worth
is a reflection of that.
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:But most of the time we're not doing that.
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:We're living in lower priority things.
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:We're subordinating to outer authorities
trying to live in other people's lives,
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:trying to be second at being ourselves
and others instead of being first at
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:being ourselves. And we end
up not empowering our life.
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:And then we're sitting there with our
opinions and we think those are truths,
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:but they're really just opinions.
You see this in politics.
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:You see this in religion.
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:You see this in hypocrisies and
bigotries and racial discriminations and
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:biases. These are basically
rampant lies about people.
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:When you go to, you know, I'm
amazed, I've been to many countries,
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:194 countries in my life,
and when I go there,
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:I find out that every human being that
I meet basically wants to survive and
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:provide for their family and do things,
are loving individuals, et cetera.
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:But if you go on the media,
you find out, well no,
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:those are all those people
over there are bad. No,
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:I've been to Iran andI hear in
the media, well Iran is this,
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:but I go there I meet people
that are lovely people there.
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:And India and Saudi Arabia
and Japan and New Zealand.
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:Everywhere I meet is lovely people.
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:If I am basically realizing that they're
reflections of me and I get to love
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:them and love me, I get to
have a great, magnificent,
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:thankful experience in life. And
I get to see the truth about life.
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:But we go through and allow our biases
to misinterpret reality and we end up
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:having these clashes and
this strife in our life,
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:only because we didn't take the time to
answer questions that brought our mind
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:back into balance and
held ourself accountable.
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:I teach a class called the
Breakthrough Experience. That class,
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:I have a method in there
called the Demartini Method.
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:It's a series of questions that hold
you accountable to see both sides
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:simultaneously and to be able
to have reflective awareness and
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:dissolve the fantasies and
resentments and the nightmares and
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:admirations and things
that you have about life.
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:And dissolve that and get present
and get grateful and see life as
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:it actually is, instead of as you
perceive it to be and have distortions of.
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:The moment you actually do that,
you actually have a moment of truth.
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:Now the reason why we lie is because we
think there's going to be more advantage
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:than disadvantage at any moment.
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:The reason why we tell the
truth is because we think
there's more advantage than
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:disadvantage.
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:But anytime we think
there's more advantage than
disadvantage in a world that's
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:already balanced, we have a
lie. That's the challenge.
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:So we go around and we deal with the
probability of the consequences. See,
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:if we have a prey, we fear its loss.
We have a predator, we fear its gain.
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:So we're making decisions to maximize
the prey and avoid the predator.
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:So if we go in there and we
distort our perceptions of it,
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:we're distorting our reactions
to it. And when we do,
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:we're basically sitting there making
probabilistic kind of decision processes
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:based on distorted information.
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:And then we're eventually discovering
that our perception wasn't complete.
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:So I'm a firm believer in
being accountable at asking
new sets of questions to
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:be able to see both sides
of life simultaneously.
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:That's why I teach the
Breakthrough Experience,
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:to help people break through the
boundaries of these distortions and these
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:opinions that they think are truth,
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:that are actually just opinions
that hold them and bondage them.
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:If you've ever been really infatuated
with somebody, you can't sleep at night,
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:very resentful to somebody,
you can't sleep at night.
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:But when you love somebody,
you sleep soundly.
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:When you're authentic and have
the truth, you sleep soundly.
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:The truth sets us free from the
bondage of those things we judge.
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:As Empedocles said, love or strife. If
we live in strife and opinion and judge,
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:we're trapped. When we live in love
and appreciation, we're liberated.
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:Having the courage to actually see both
sides of an event and hold yourself
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:accountable,
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:that's what the Demartini Method in
the Breakthrough Experience is about,
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:how to ask questions that allow you to
see both sides simultaneously so you're
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:fully conscious and see things objectively
and see the truth of people and
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:events, instead of sitting there having
biases that cause you to seek or avoid,
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:impulse or instinct, infatuate or resent,
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:and be extrinsically run by
misinterpretations of the outer world.
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:I want you to have the voice and the
vision on the inside to be louder than
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:opinions on the outside.
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:And that occurs when you ask questions
that brought your mind into balance,
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:so you're not reactive, you're proactive,
you're objective, not subjective,
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:you're inspired instead of despired,
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:and you're liberated
instead of in bondage.
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:And you give yourself
permission to be yourself.
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:And that's the true
power you have in life.
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:The most magnificent truth you have
is to be willing to be yourself.
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:And that's not going to occur as long
as you exaggerate or minimize people.
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:Put people on pedestals or pits,
but put them in your heart.
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:So that's why I teach the
Breakthrough Experience,
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:to help people liberate themselves from
the lies of their life and to help them
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:realize that most of our
life is subjectively biased,
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:but we have moments of grace and we
can increase the probability of having
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:moments of grace and moments of
love and authenticity and truth.
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:We can have moments of that. We're not
going to live there 24 hours a day,
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:but we can certainly have moments
of that. And those are healing,
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:and those are empowering, and
those are really liberating.
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:And I love helping people
get that realization,
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:and know the distinctions and then know
the science of how to return to that.
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:So no matter what happens in your life,
whatever perturbation you experience,
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:how to turn it back into
something of poise and presence.
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:When you're powerful and prioritize and
purposeful and patient and productive
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:and empowered, you have
a pretty grateful life.
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:So I teach people that in
the Breakthrough Experience,
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:how to maintain that state
and increase that probability.
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:You're going to be constantly bombarded
by things you're going to judge and
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:unknowns. The moment you know something,
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:you're going to get promoted to the
next unknown and judge some more.
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:The key is to come and bring that
back down into seeing both sides
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:simultaneously and loving it. See
things as they are, not as you project,
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:liberates you from a lot of the emotional
baggage and bondage that trap you
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:in kind of the the mortal world that
ages you instead of liberating you for
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:something that's really deeply
meaningful and inspiring.
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:The mean is the mean between
the pairs of opposites.
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:Knowing how to ask the questions to see
the balance of opposites simultaneously
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:I teach in the Breakthrough Experience.
That is very powerful. It's a science,
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:it works, it reproduces,
it's duplicatable. I've
translated, I've shared it.
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:I've got 7,000 something people out
there working with it, using it,
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:training other people on it. I'm certain
it can make a difference in your life.
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:I've seen it. I've watched lives
change right in front of my eyes.
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:So if you'd like to be able
to have a more empowered life,
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:if you'd like to be able to see
the truth of your own magnificence,
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:the truth of your own magnificence and
the truth of the magnificence of the
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:people around you, and transcend
the judgments that embondage you,
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:come to the Breakthrough Experience.
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:And let me show you the Demartini Method
and how to transcend that with the
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:questions.
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:The quality of your life's based on
the quality of the questions you ask.
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:The questions you have in life make you
conscious of things you were unconscious
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:of that keep you in bondage,
keep you emotionally distracted,
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:keep you in the impulsive, you know,
the instinctual animal effective nature,
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:instead of the angelical awareness nature,
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:the full conscious state that
you have available to you.
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:So if you'd like to be able to go and
have a moment of grace, a moment of truth,
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:great. But just know that
every decision you make,
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:don't ever expect somebody
to be always truthful.
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:Expect people to do whatever they think
that's going to give them the greatest
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:advantage at any moment in time.
That's what you can expect.
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:They don't betray you, you do when you
expect them to live in your values.
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:They live in their own values, not yours.
You live in your values, not theirs.
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:If you expect you to live in their
values, you have a distortion.
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:If you expect them to live in your
values, you have a distortion.
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:When you expect each other to live in
each other's values, you have that,
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:when you expect you to live
in yours and them in theirs,
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:and you learn to communicate what you
do in terms of what they're doing,
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:you open the doorway for communication
and then they have a higher probability
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:of being authentic as you are authentic.
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:And then you have a truthful
and integral relationship,
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:and have a dialogue instead
of an alternating monologue.
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:And you're liberated and appreciated and
you honor the magnificence in them as
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:you live the magnificence in you.
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:That's what I want to teach you
in the Breakthrough Experience.
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:And so if you've got something
outta this little presentation,
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:you're going to get a lot more in
a 25 hour experience with me in the
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:Breakthrough Experience. So
thank you for joining me today.
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:Look forward to seeing you there.
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:I can't wait to bring this tool to
you so you can transform your life.