Hey, it’s great to have you here! This week, I’m sharing some personal reflections on a topic I think we’ve all dealt with: disappointment, especially when things beyond our control don’t pan out as planned.

I’m opening up about the long wait for a promised promotion—a journey that many can relate to. It’s been tough waiting for over seven months while trying to stay motivated and handle the frustration of feeling stuck. In these situations, it can be tempting to let the resentment build, but I’ve realized how important it is to handle it in a constructive way.

Here’s what I’ve learned about dealing with these situations:

1. Keep the Lines Open: Don’t be afraid to periodically check in. Just make sure it’s spaced out and respectful. It helps signal to your employer that this is important to you.
2. Negotiate and State Your Worth: If there’s a delay, don’t hesitate to share your goals and expectations. If things are pushed further down the road, make it clear that you expect the terms to reflect your growth and dedication.
3. Explore Income Alternatives: Losing out on expected income can be frustrating, especially if you’ve been planning big moves (like home buying). Whether it’s freelancing, selling art, or a weekend gig like Uber, consider small side hustles that don’t add too much to your workload but can help you meet your financial goals in the meantime.

Your Growth is Worth Advocating For

Remember, it’s okay to expect more for yourself as you continue to grow. I believe we owe it to ourselves to ask for what we’re worth and to communicate that we’re not just waiting around. If your promotion or raise doesn’t come, keep moving forward. And always, always keep fighting for what you need to succeed.

Thanks for listening, and remember—you’re not alone in dealing with disappointment. Take care, and I’ll talk to you in the next episode!

Connect with Jess

Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love.always.jess

Hey.

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I hope that your week

is off to a great start.

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I am excited because this weekend my

brother came over and he helped me

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build a kitchen island, which I've

been wanting to cook more, but the

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way my apartment kitchen is set up

is I have very limited counter space.

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And with the thought of potentially

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sorry, I was like, I'm not gonna

spend my money on a kitchen island.

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But now that I've extended my house

purchasing another year and I'm really

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focused on my personal health goals, I

was like, I need this kitchen island so

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that I can cook more and have more space

and also kind of stop eating in front

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of the TV and have a designated table.

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So it's a kitchen island with like a par

space so I can put some bar stools, which

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my brother came over to help me today.

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And I'm very, very thankful for him.

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It looks amazing and I can't

wait to start using it.

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Today's conversation that I want to

talk about is disappointment when

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things that are out of your control.

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don't happen.

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This is kind of something that

personally happened to me, , but

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I'm sure we've all experienced it.

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This isn't the first time that

I've experienced it, and I want

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to talk about a couple of options

that I think we as humans have

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when that type of thing happens.

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, backstory, I won't go too much into it.

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I was promised a promotion

to happen this year.

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And I've been waiting now for

seven months for it to happen.

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And it's been like one of those

things where it's been brought up

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monthly, not by me, by my boss.

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And.

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You know, I've asked, but

also they brought it up and

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it's been, I'm working on it.

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I haven't forgotten about it.

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, I got it approved.

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I just had to do paperwork to,

hey, it's not happening this year.

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, it's going to happen next year.

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And it's kind of been one of those things

where I'm like, cool, this is sucked.

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, you know, like for me personally, it's

been, I'm sitting here trying to buy

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a house and I've been banking on this

money, banking on this extra income,

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banking on a higher bonus, to buffer my

house, you know, fund and to like grow

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it and put towards it because I've been

promised that when it happens, it's

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going to be retroactive to certain date.

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So I'm sitting here going, okay, cool.

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I have X amount of months of extra pay.

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My bonus is going to be higher.

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And you know, a couple of weeks

ago, you know, My boss was like,

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Hey, I haven't forgotten about it.

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And I was just like, straight up,

is it happening this year or not?

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And they said no.

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And then they asked me if I was

disappointed and my brain was like, yeah.

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And I told her straight out.

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I was like, yeah, I am disappointed.

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I'm not going to hide my feelings, but

I'm also not going to be rude about it.

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You know, like I'm not

going to call them names.

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I'm not gonna, , become irate or anything

like that because there are Circumstances

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that are kind of preventing it from

happening, but also it kind of stinks.

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, And it hurts, and I'm disappointed,

and my boss asked me if I was

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disappointed, and I said yes.

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And, disappointed, , in two folds, because

A, I think I deserve it, but B, also

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because I was banking on this money.

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I was banking on getting this income,

and I know they always say, like

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if you ask any expert, it's until

the money is in your bank account,

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don't celebrate it, and it's, yeah.

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Did I think too much about it?

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Relying on this extra income?

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Absolutely, but also it wasn't this thing

where I was like, living my life based

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off of that income coming in because I

wasn't out there willy nilly spending and

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I wasn't selecting, like I wasn't, I'm

not buying a house based off of what my

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promotion Would be I would have bought a

house based on what I was currently being

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paid because again It's not guaranteed

until it's actually happened, but it's

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still disappointing so one of the first

things that if you're somebody who's

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in a similar similar situation where

You're either being promised something

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and it hasn't happened yet, or you've

asked a boss or A higher up for this

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raise or for this promotion and it has

not happened yet You My suggestion

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is don't be afraid to bring it up.

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Don't be afraid to ask periodically,

hey, what is the status of this?

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I do not suggest going into your boss's

office every single day and hounding them,

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because that can just become annoying.

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But, if a couple weeks have

gone by, and since you've had the

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conversation, don't be afraid to ask.

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Don't be afraid to ask, hey,

like, what is the holdup?

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What's causing this from not

happening as quickly as I thought?

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, is there something that I can do?

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Or is it just a waiting game?

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We're all human.

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We all know and understand

that life gets in the way,

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especially in today's day and age.

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Things are happening or they

feel like they're happening

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at a much more rapid pace.

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And so before we know it, two, three,

four weeks have gone by and we're like,

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holy shit, we're already in October.

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, the other thing too is, When we

consistently stay on top of asking for

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what we want or reminding them, it lets

them know that you're serious about

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this because sometimes if we don't ask

and sometimes if we kind of just like

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are like, oh, we'll just wait it out.

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Some business people might be like,

well, they're not asking about it.

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I'm not necessarily going

to, you know, do it.

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Um, I've had those conversations.

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I am on the finance side.

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I am on the budgeting side and I've put

in promotions for people into our budget.

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And then the next year, I'm like,

hey, you haven't promoted this person,

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are you still going to do that?

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And their response is, well, they

haven't asked about it, so no.

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, and then I put it in for next year,

and then another year goes by and

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they go, hey, you've been asking to

promote this person in the budget for a

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couple years, why haven't you done it?

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And it's like, well, they

haven't asked about it.

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So, ask about it.

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If you want something, the best

thing to do is to speak up.

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Because it can in a way limit our

disappointment because at least we know

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we're putting in the effort from our side.

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And if it doesn't get matched,

you've done what you can.

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The other thing that I suggest is

think about what you would negotiate.

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, so when my boss told me the other

week that my promotion was not going

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to happen this year, I countered

and I said, okay, this is what

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I want if it happens next year.

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And their responses Well,

I'll see what I can do.

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I hear you.

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I don't know if you're as strong as X,

Y, and Z, but I'll see what I can do.

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Because at least I put, like, my,

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what I feel I deserve,

especially for getting this.

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Continuous like roadblock

of it's going to happen.

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It's going to happen.

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It's going to happen.

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It's going to happen.

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Well, now it's not happening.

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, And so I'm like, okay, you're going

to continue to give me the run around

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by the time we get to when you're

going to give me the promotion.

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This is what I'm going to expect

because I was willing to accept this.

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If I got it this year, but now I'm

a little upset, you know, I'm hurt.

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And if you're going to continue

to give me the runaround and if

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you're going to continue, to

push it off, I kind of want more.

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I'm going to ask for more.

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And it doesn't necessarily mean that

you're going to get more, but it gives

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you leverage and it also kind of like

Makes you feel a little bit more empowered

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of hey, I'm not gonna put up with this.

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This isn't fair I understand there

are things outside of your control

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Just like this is out of my control

Um, it's something I want it's

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something that I deserve We both know

this but extenuating circumstances

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are preventing it from happening.

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So if the potential for me to get

more or the potential for me to,

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you know, grow in the next six or so

months to deserve a higher promotion

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or a higher raise is out there on

the table, I'm going to ask for it.

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Does that mean that it's

necessarily going to happen?

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No, but who you are today is very

different from the worker, the employee

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that you get to be six months from now.

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And If you're somebody who is continuously

putting in the work and continuously

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growing and continuously proving yourself,

you deserve to be like, Hey, I'm not

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going to be who I am six months from now.

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I'm going to be doing more work.

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I'm going to be doing better work.

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I'm going to be a better Different human.

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So if you're not going to give me

the raise of the promotion today, I'm

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going to ask for the raise of promotion

for who I'm going to be six months

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from now, not for who I am right now.

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And I think that's important to consider,

you know, especially if they're saying

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it's not going to happen today, but.

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Let's circle back in six months from now.

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Okay, I'm going to tell you what

my expectations are for six months

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from now, because I don't want that

to become a surprise to you when we

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have this conversation in six months.

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So start to think about if it doesn't

happen now, and it happens in six months.

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down the road, what are your

expectations going to be?

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And you might not 100 percent have an

idea of what your expectations are, but

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putting that out there and just even

thinking about it of, hey, maybe just

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telling your boss, you know what, cool, I

understand things can't happen right now.

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When we talk back in six months from

now, I want to have that conversation

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to negotiate versus you just

telling me what's going to happen.

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And obviously say it in a nicer way,

but, you know, have that approach

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of let's have conversations.

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And then what I suggest is if it's

something that you're banking on

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now, like I'm sitting here and I'm

like, cool, I need, I was looking

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forward to , this increase in pay.

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I was looking forward to

the retroactive of this.

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I was looking forward to a higher

bonus and I'm not getting it.

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So what am I losing out on by

not getting this pay raise,

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by not getting this promotion?

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And how can I make up that money?

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Now, if you really want to go to an

extreme, um, you can find another

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job that is going to give you the pay

increase, because more often than not,

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you're going to get a better jump.

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In title and in pay scale, moving

companies, getting a new job,

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it's just the nature of the way

that the economy works and the

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way that the job market works.

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More often than not, you will

get a better pay increase or a

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better position within a company.

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Moving companies, because you have

a little bit more of leverage,

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versus like getting promoted within.

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You can go to that extreme.

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I love my job.

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It's not the plan.

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, but the other thing you can do

is, what can I do on the side?

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To help make up that money.

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And I want you to think proactively

about it in the sense of not

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necessarily Just going out there

and like getting a second job.

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But what could you do that

wouldn't take up as much time?

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Because we don't want to add a

whole other 40 hours to our lives.

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We have personal lives.

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So could you spend Saturday Ubering or.

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You know, is there something

that you're really good at?

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Are you a good, like, painter?

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And you could paint, some

paintings and sell them on Etsy.

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Because maybe you do it as a hobby and

you're like, just for the next six months

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while I'm waiting for this promotion,

I'm going to sell my artwork on Etsy.

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Or, I'm going to, , take photographs for

friends, or do something, something that

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doesn't necessarily take up too much of

your time and add more stress to your

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life, but also something that can add

extra income, if that is what you want.

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If you can wait, Great, wait, but I'm

sitting here going I just lost all

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this money for a house that I could

have used How do I make that up?

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Because more than likely when

I get that, you know promotion

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next year It's not gonna be

retroactive anymore and that stinks.

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So a couple things

Continuously bring it up.

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Ask about it.

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You know, my boss has told me that

the promotion isn't happening this

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year It's gonna happen next year.

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Cool.

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In January?

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I'm gonna bring it up.

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Hey!

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Any chance the promotion can happen this

month instead of waiting until March?

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No?

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Okay.

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Middle of February.

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I'll bring it up.

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What is the plan for my promotion?

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What is the pay?

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What is the title?

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Can we negotiate it?

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I don't want to be a nuisance, but I

also don't want it to be taken lightly

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as in, oh, she hasn't brought it up.

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I'm not gonna, you know, put in the

effort to give her the promotion.

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The next thing to do is obviously

think about what you're gonna

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counter with if it doesn't happen.

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And who you think you're going to be

as an employee and what you feel you

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would deserve as that person at that

level, you're going to be six months to

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a year from now, and then think about

ways that you could make up that money.

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If that is something that you need

to do outside of your 40 hour window.

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Which we all know it's not 40 hours, but

outside of your nine to five job, if that

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is what you were doing, I hope that helps.

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It is disappointing.

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I feel you, I am there for

you in the sense of, I get it.

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I've been there.

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This isn't my first time going through it.

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I'm, you know, if you've listened to

other episodes, you know, that I've

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been put on probation and how to take

pay cuts and all this kind of stuff.

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It sucks.

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It's disappointing, it's heartbreaking,

and when we have our finances

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impacted, when money is what

makes the world go round, it is

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stressful, and hurtful, and painful.

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And also, it can be scary.

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So, I'm there.

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I get it.

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I've been in your shoes.

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I am in your shoes.

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But we can figure things out.

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There are options.

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And sometimes making

those decisions sucks.

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But, at the end of the day,

do what is right for you.

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Do what is going to bring you

fulfillment and happiness, and

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make your goals successful in as

short amount of time as possible.

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But please, please, please, always

continue to fight for yourself

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because that is the number one thing.

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Fight for you.

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Fight for what you need in life.

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Alright, I love you all.

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Enjoy the rest of your day.

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Bye.