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Understanding why you act and react in the way that you do
Episode 29812th June 2023 • Your Dream Business • Teresa Heath-Wareing
00:00:00 00:24:08

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Today’s episode of the podcast is all about the Ennegram Personality Test.

In this episode I share what an Ennegram is and how it works, as well as how it's helped me not only in my personal life, but in my business life too.  

KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST

  1. The nine Enneagrams and what each of them mean
  2. The different subtypes of the Enneagram
  3. The benefits of identifying your Enneagram type
  If you take the test to find out what Ennegram you are, I'd love to know. Feel free to connect with me over on my socials and tell me what you find out!

LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

The Ennegram Institute Take the free Ennegram Personality Test Take the paid Ennegram Personality Test Find out more about the 27 Ennegram Subtypes Tune into my previous podcast episode with Ennegram expert Sarajane Case Connect with Teresa on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter

Transcipt

Welcome to Your Dream Business podcast and as always, I am your host, Teresa Heath Wareing and this is episode 298. Wow. God, I've been doing this podcast a long time. Good job, I love it or otherwise, that would never have lasted this long. So, today I wanna talk to you about Enneagram. Have you heard about it? Do you know about it? If you don't, don't panic. It's not a change on Instagram or something it's not new social media. Basically, I am a big, big fan of personal development as you know in general, but also of personal development, kind of assessments and tests and things in terms of getting to know myself better. And Enneagram is one that I've known for a long while, but I'm doing more and more and more interesting kind of findings about it. And the other week I did a session in my membership about the Enneagram and we worked through it and we worked out who was what and how that worked for them and, and all that sort of good stuff. So I thought I would do a really quick episode today on what the Enneagram is. I would fly through it, explain how it works, and then why it's helped me, not only in my personal life, but in my business and inspire you maybe to go and find out what your Enneagram is. And the beauty of this is knowing what other people's Enneagrams are. So go and send this episode to a friend or to even your partner and get them to do the Enneagram test. We are going to, put some Enneagram links into the show notes where you can actually go and do yours. They're third party websites. They're not mine. And the one we'll put in, you can get a free Enneagram, but I'll also put in the one where I paid for mine and mine goes into a bit more detail. So, Let me start by telling you what the Enneagram is. So the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. The Enneagram describes nine personality types and maps each of those types on a nine pointed diagram, which helps illustrate how the types relate to one another, because that's the interesting thing about the Enneagram. It's not just, this is the number you are, but it's, you also have wings. This will all become very clear. And you have kind of, you show up as other numbers when you are in growth or when things aren't so good. According to the Enneagram, each of the nine personality types is defined by a particular core belief about how the world works. This core beliefs drive your deepest emotions and fears, and fundamentally shapes a person's worldview and the perspective through which they see the world and the people around them. Now while I was doing the Enneagram training with my members, one of them asked actually, can you change your Enneagram or do you think it's set? Because they had only heard the not so good side of their Enneagram. Basically, every personality has positives and parts that you just need to keep an eye out for. And all of them do not just this one type that this person was. Personally, I don't think you can. I don't think you can go, I'm going to change my Enneagram because it's based on your values and who you are as a person. So, I think that's very difficult to do. What I think you can do with ease, though, I say with ease, it takes a bit of work, is make sure that the better sides of that Enneagram is showing up more than maybe the ones that you're not keen on. So why should you even look at doing your U Enneagram and understanding what it is and all this sort of stuff? Oh, the other thing I should have said, right the beginning is I interviewed the amazing Sara Jane Case who is an expert in Enneagram and we will link up to that in the show notes, but that was a really long time ago. But hers was really, really interesting and mine's just more of a general overview, whereas actually I picked her brains a whole lot about my Enneagram. Well, you know, while she was on the podcast, might as well. So the first thing it helps you do is understand yourselves better. And, anything that helps us understand ourselves better, in my mind has got to be a good thing because it gives us so much empathy and sympathy for ourselves. So rather than being like, why do I always do that? You then start to understand why you always do that, and then maybe take on a different feel about it and be like, Hmm, that's interesting, I did that thing again, like. And then you become a little bit more aware, but not so judgey. It also helps you really understand other people better. So for me, one of the things that it's helped, and I'll give you this example a bit later, is I got my husband to do the Enneagram and I've done the Enneagram. So, it really helps me understand how my husband shows up and how I interact with him and which bits I need to kind of understand that that's the way he is. And it just really helps that kind of relationship too. So, like I said, this episode is very much kind of, this is what the Enneagram is, these are the numbers, this is what they're like, and kind of a, a, a stepping point for you to go and find out more. So there's nine Enneagrams. Now I'm gonna say the numbers and what they were called on this particular website. Sometimes they do change the name, but the number is exactly the same. So if you're a one, you're a one, whether it's called the perfectionist or whether it's called the reformer. So number one, is the reformer or perfectionist. Number two is the giver. Number three is the achiever. Number four is the individualist. Number five is the investigator. Number six is the skeptic. Number seven is the enthusiast. Number eight is the Challenger, and number nine is the peacemaker. So for each of the nine Enneagram, I'm going to tell you kind of the synopsis of it, the basic desire, the basic fear, and I'm gonna tell you when you're at your best or what to watch out for. And then I'm gonna explain the wing thing. Okay. And the growth and the stress area. So let's take, number one, the reformer. So, It says the rational, the idealistic type, principled, purposeful, self-controlled, perfectionist. Basic desire is I want to be a good person to have balance, to live in integrity. The basic fear of a number one is I'm afraid of being a bad person, being evil or corrupt. So at your best, number one, if you're a number one, you are organized, you're hardworking, you're inspiring, responsible, hopeful, disciplined, conscientious, visionary and driven. Things that you might wanna watch out for when you're not so much at your best is that you might think you're never good enough. You might have an inner critic of you and other people. You might be dogmatic, impatient, condemning, judgmental, obsessive, and get stressed easily. Now. When you are a one you, every number has wings, okay? So it's basically the number to your right and the number to your left. So if you're a wing, if you're a number one, your wing can either be nine or a wing two. So you, what this tend to mean is that you tend to lean into one of those others. So even if you're number one and you're listening to this, then make sure you pay attention to two and nine because you might lean or have some of the traits of those two. The other thing to pay attention to is that each number has a growth number that they go to. So a number that they're more like when they're in growth and a number that they're more like when they're in stress. So for a number one, growth is seven, stress is four. Does that all make sense? I appreciate that actually, on a podcast, this is a bit tricky, but what we will try and do is put an image of the Enneagram on the show notes on my website. So, yeah, we'll put that there and then, and in fact what we'll probably do is put it in my social media as well as part of the, promotion of this podcast. So hopefully it'll makes sense. Okay. So that was number one. So, like I said, the reminder is the wing is either nine or two, and then your growth is in number seven, and your stress is in number four. Number two is the giver. So for people who are number twos, they're carrying interpersonal types. Demonstrative, can't say the word generous people pleasing and possessive. Their basic desire is to feel loved and liked. Their basic fear is being unwanted, unworthy of love. At their best, they're altruistic, generous, empathetic, warm, caring, loving, kind, charming. At their worst, they're martyrs, unyielding, won't self care, resentful, guilt- tripping, manipulative, and become the victim. So my husband is an Enneagram two, so he is a fairly typical Enneagram two, but there's an interesting difference, which I'll explain at the end. But he does, he's very kind and generous and he does give a lot, but he does it in a very practical way. So he will clean, he will make things, he will fix things. But I do have to watch out for some of his other traits. So for instance, an Enneagram two, and I remember reading Fern Cotton's book, bigger Than Us, I think it's called, and she's an Enneagram two. Lots of Enneagram twos s are the givers. They like to do the things, but also there's a part of them that thinks no one else is good enough. And that is definitely my husband's straight, no one else is good enough. No one does it as good as him, and that's why he does it. But also if I don't thank him and I don't make a point of being like, I appreciate all this stuff you do for me. He can become a martyr or be resentful or Yeah, get annoyed. And these people are not good at looking after themselves cause they put everyone else first. But they can use that against them, against everybody. So if you are a giver, if you are number two, your wings are obviously one and three, your stress is eight, and your growth is four. Okay, number three, the achiever, which is me, I'm an Enneagram three. A success orientated, pragmatic type, adaptive, excelling, driven, and image conscious. Basic desire to feel valuable and worthwhile. Basic fear of being worthless. Only worth based on what I achieve. I feel that massively. Like it's the car I drive. It's the clothes I wear. It's the, like, how good my hair looks on a day. It's what stages I've spoken on. How many people come to my thing. Like, yeah, that is for real a struggle. When I'm at my best, I am likable, popular, energetic, charismatic, thoughtful, successful, inspirational, humble, and brings out the best in others. Things I need to watch out for. And I've done a lot of work over the years on this is ego, vanity, insecure, self-promotional, arrogant, obsessed. I sounded delight, dishonest to look good and always performing. Now I always like to clarify the dishonest thing cuz I think I'm very honest and very vulnerable and authentic. But this is like, This is like when someone says, how many people did you get on your webinar and you had like five and you round up to 10. Like, that's how I read that, and that is definitely how that would've come out in me. I've, like I said, done a lot of work on this, so, I am definitely in Enneagram three. So enneagram three your wings are obviously four or two. Growth is six, stress is nine. And again, as I'm starting to hit these numbers, you're going to see how that shows up. Okay, so number four, the individualist. So the sensitive, withdrawn type, expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, temperamental. Basic desire to find themselves and their significance to create an identity. Their basic fear is that they have no identity or no personal significance. So at their best, they're creative, self-aware, artistic, honest, accepting pen, compassionate, loyal friend, and heartfelt. Things to watch out for, for a number four is that they might be moody, self-absorbed, hopeless, not they're hopeless. They feel hopeless. Tragically different. Negative self-image, low self-esteem. So four, the wings of five and a three, and interestingly enough, fours go to one for growth. And they go to number two for stress. So the negatives of two, let me just go back and tell you what they were, were the martyrs, the young yielding, won't self care, resentful, all that sort of thing. Number four, when they're in stress, they can go to those things. So hopefully that makes sense. Number five, the investigator. So if you're a number five, you are the intense cerebral type, perspective, innovative, secretive, and isolated. Your basic desire is to be capable and competent. Your basic fear is being useless, helpless, or incapable. So at your best, your pioneers and experts and innovators, teachers, mentors, advisors in depth knowledge and stimulate others. But things to watch out for are, you might be an intellectual hoarder. Have you bought all those courses and never done anything or need to do 300 courses before you start something? Maybe you're an Enneagram five. Shared responsibilities, disconnect, lost in thought, absentminded, withdrawn, cutoff from the social world. So, Let's just take this Enneagram five. Like so if your basic fear is being useless, helpless, or incapable, your bad sides are going to come out or your not so great sides are gonna come out when you might feel that. So for instance, let's say you hurt yourself and you need someone to help you. You might then become disconnected, you might become withdrawn, or you might cut off from the social world because you don't like needing help. So it's this sort of thing so you can understand yourself a lot better and go, well that's okay. That's interesting. I know I do that, so I have to watch that.Okay, so if you're a five, obviously wing four and six, your stress is in seven and your growth is in an eight. Okay. Number six, the skeptic. If you are an Enneagram six, you are the committed security orientated type with engaging responsibility, responsible, anxious, suspicious. Your basic desire is to have security and support, and your basic fear is being without support and guidance. Let's have a look at your best. If you're at your best, you are a protector's, loyalist, trusted integrator, hard worker, brave defender, confident, prepared, team player, and organized. However, you need to watch out for fixated and perceived dangers, paranoia, worrying. Looking for ulterior motive, suspicious anxiety, and hypervigilance. And now like I said, this isn't like, I don't wanna be those things. That's just at times of stress or when things aren't good or some of the things you just need to be careful of. Because I know, for instance, as an engram three, I need to watch my ego. Like if I let that, that come into play too much, then basically I make some wrong decisions. But everyone has an ego and it's important to have one. So, As an Enneagram six, you have wings five and seven, but also your stress area is three and your growth area is nine. Okay, let's go onto, if you're an Enneagram seven. If you're a seven, you're an enthusiast, a busy, fun-loving type, spontaneous, versatile, distractable, and scattered. Your basic desire is to be satisfied and content. To have your needs fulfilled, your basic fear is being deprived and in pain. So when you are at your best as a seven, your ideators, you are optimistic, you're fun in energetic, curious connectors, always on the grow. Things that you might wanna watch out for is you might. When you are not so at your best, you might break commitments. Abandon projects, have poor relationships, self-medicate to avoid dealing with anything negative. You might have burnout or be cynical or critical. So as a seven, obviously you have wings of eight and six. But your growth is a number five and your stress shows up as a number one. So, like I said, when you are not in a good place, let's just go back to number one. You might show up as never good enough in a critic, dogmatic, impatient, condemning, judgmental. So, like I said, just keep an eye on those things, when you are looking at them and it's not just the one Enneagram that you are. And what did I say? So if you are an Engram seven, that's where we're, so your growth is five. So let's just have a quick look at what five shows as so, pioneers, expert, innovators, teachers, mentors, advisors, in depth knowledge, stimulate others. So, Like I said, there is so much good stuff. This isn't about going, oh God, look how awful I am. This is about going, this is really interesting. Okay, number eight, the challenger. So number eight are powerful, dominating, type with self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational. Your basic desire is to protect themselves, to be in control of their own destiny in life, and the basic fear is harm or controlled by others. As an eight when you are at your best, your righteous defender's, generous, welcoming, loving, honest, independent and determination. Things that you need to watch out for as an eight is you see relationships as competition. You push away, angry, abusive in pursuit of power, fiery, stubborn, and headstrong. When I looked at the number two, What did I say? Because my husband's number two. So number two, yeah. When they're stressed they go to an eight. So that's really interesting cuz I can definitely see that. I can definitely see, sometimes my husband going to an eight, which like I said, it's things like pushes away angry, abusive in pursuit of power, fiery, stubborn, and headstrong. I can definitely see those traits when he is in stress. So as an eight, you obviously have the wings nine and seven. When you're in stress, you go to a five, and when you're in growth, you go to a two. So, Hence, you can see that kind of two and eight connection....

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