Shownotes
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Description
What does self-care look like for those who give their all to educate and support others? In this conversation, Amy-Jo Smith, a seasoned early childhood educator and trauma care trainer, shares her insights on the unseen roles of caregivers and educators, emphasizing the importance of self-care, community support, and maintaining personal identity. Amy-Jo discusses practical self-care practices such as outdoor activities, journaling, and balancing work with personal joy. She also explores the challenges of secondary trauma, systemic frustrations, and the vital role of supportive networks. Amy-Jo’s compelling anecdotes of international caregiving, along with her expertise in Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), highlight the profound impact of connection and empathy in caregiving.
Time Stamps
[05:46] Connection and presence bridge gaps in childrens' needs.
[08:18] TBRI stems from Karen Purvis' trauma research.
[11:12] Support systems are crucial for caregiver resilience.
[15:54] Friend's small help greatly relieved overwhelmed teacher.
[19:35] Movement and beauty alleviate stress and trauma.
[21:14] Monitor emotions to prevent burnout through processing.
[26:26] Supporting colleagues facing trauma needs debriefing, teamwork.
[30:37] Feeling overwhelmed by limited resources in service work.
[32:31] Child's note revealed deep teacher-student bond.
Guest Links
Leading Differently Together | Teachers with Amy-Jo Smith: https://www.careimpact.ca/post/s03e11
Sanctuary Songs: https://shorturl.at/WvPN9
Other Links
Reach out to us! https://journeywithcare.ca/podcast
Email: podcast@careimpact.ca
Listen To Journey With Prayer - A prayer journey corresponding to this episode: https://journeywithprayer.captivate.fm/listen
or get both podcasts on the same RSS feed! https://feeds.captivate.fm/n/careimpact-podcast
CareImpact: careimpact.ca
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Editing and production by Johan Heinrichs: arkpodcasts.ca
Transcripts
The children who need the most love are asking for it in often the most
Speaker:unloving ways and the behavior that is trying to push us away. What does loving
Speaker:your neighbor actually look like? This is Journey With Care. We're curious
Speaker:Canadians get inspired to love others well through real-life stories and
Speaker:honest conversations. Welcome to Journey With Care. I'm Johan. Today we don't have
Speaker:Wendy with us. She is actually in Scotland dropping her daughter off for
Speaker:school. So it's just me again. Wendy's intro got cut off last week if you haven't
Speaker:noticed. We didn't mention it but her internet got cut off. So it's just me
Speaker:again. We are in our series The Battery Left of a Caregiver and we're exploring
Speaker:the lives of those who dedicate themselves to caregiving roles. We'll
Speaker:uncover what it takes, their self-care strategies and how our communities can
Speaker:provide much needed support around them. So today we are joined by Amy Jo who was
Speaker:a previous guest on the season episode 11 leading differently together. She did
Speaker:the teachers episode really good. I'll throw that in the show notes and you should
Speaker:go listen to that if you haven't heard it. Amy Jo who has extensive experience in
Speaker:caregiving of some of her most vulnerable as an early childhood educator. I'll let
Speaker:her talk a little bit more about what she does but before we get to that remember
Speaker:that we have Journey With Prayer five-minute devotional series to start off
Speaker:your week that's on a separate podcast feed. Also to remind you we exist and
Speaker:continue to produce great content and interviews because of the generosity of
Speaker:our listeners, donors and sponsors to help produce the podcast and the work of
Speaker:care impact in the community. We value your support and we would love to connect
Speaker:with new sponsors and people that just want to donate to the podcast as well to
Speaker:help keep us going you can go to careimpact.ca/podcast if you want to get
Speaker:involved. All right Amy Jo you're part of the care impact team part of our
Speaker:trauma care training team. You're based in Ottawa with nearly two decades of
Speaker:diverse experience in various roles. From what I know about you you're passionate
Speaker:about creating inclusive and supportive environments. Did I miss anything there?
Speaker:Would you like to tell us a little bit of what you're doing right now? What you're
Speaker:giving your time and energies to? Well thank you Johan it is a privilege to be
Speaker:here again and you're right I've worked in a lot of diverse experiences and with
Speaker:alongside children and families and I'm very grateful for the ways they have
Speaker:shaped me and the work that I do now so I'm currently working as a resource
Speaker:consultant supporting children with special needs and really coming alongside
Speaker:educators building capacity for them to support the children in their care. So
Speaker:you've worn many hats I know you've done mission work as well you want to talk
Speaker:about some other areas we've done some of those caregiving roles. Yeah so I when
Speaker:I look back at my journey I have always I think had a leaning towards helping
Speaker:caregiving helper roles and when I look at I think I talked in the last time when
Speaker:we were talking about teaching and just the ways that were shaped throughout our
Speaker:lives and the ways that we are built into who we are by the people who impact us
Speaker:and even as I look at my own history of my grandma who was a teacher and impacted
Speaker:children and my dad who was a teacher I can see that a lot of the shaping of my
Speaker:life was natural giftings I think that were a leaning that I had towards
Speaker:teaching and caregiving and then all of the experiences along the way so I
Speaker:began with an interest in working with children I didn't know exactly how and
Speaker:then as I stepped into different spaces and studying early childhood
Speaker:education becoming a nanny for a family who had a little guy who ended up being
Speaker:diagnosed with autism as I stepped into different preschool classrooms and
Speaker:school classrooms I just noticed along the way there was a trend that I was drawn
Speaker:to the children with special needs and I really feel like they have been the
Speaker:reason I'm doing what I'm doing today almost like this role that I'm in now
Speaker:the different roles I'm in and trauma care training and resourcing have
Speaker:chosen me instead of me specifically choosing these roles. Can you elaborate
Speaker:on what continues to draw you to working with children and vulnerable
Speaker:children? Well you mentioned Johann that I had also done some international work
Speaker:and I was reflecting on what is the heart of the work that I've done with
Speaker:children both locally and internationally and there was a common thread as I
Speaker:traveled in from different places I had the privilege of helping with a school
Speaker:in the Dominican that some friends started to run in their garage because
Speaker:they saw the need for children in their in their neighborhood. I was also in
Speaker:Peru working with some children's homes one of them was a place where deaf
Speaker:children could come because they weren't able to access sign language in their
Speaker:local schools and whether it was in the Dominican and Peru in a hot little
Speaker:church in Mexico to hear locally working in classrooms and camps I saw a common
Speaker:thread that children are longing to be seen and connected with and they're
Speaker:longing for someone to look at them and delight in them no matter where they
Speaker:are on the globe. It's good. So your biography reads that you believe in the
Speaker:power of connected relationships for healing and thriving. Can you share an
Speaker:example from your work experience that illustrates this or a story? Well that
Speaker:word connection has been something that has become so important to me and the
Speaker:work that I do and even as I was just reflecting on some of the work
Speaker:internationally and the children and families that I got to walk alongside
Speaker:there were moments when I saw lack of resources as we know sometimes those can
Speaker:be a huge barrier to children getting the care and the learning and the growth
Speaker:that they need but I also saw so many moments when a caring adult bridge that
Speaker:gap to meet the needs of the child with their presence and with their time and
Speaker:with their energy. I saw like the caregivers at the school in Peru learning
Speaker:sign language translating for these children so they could connect with them.
Speaker:Locally I've seen educators and teachers working alongside children who we would
Speaker:say in the language of trauma, Karen Purvis who is someone that we have learned
Speaker:a lot from in our trauma care training. She talks about the children who need
Speaker:the most love are asking for it in often the most unloving ways and the
Speaker:behavior that is trying to push us away and even just recently I saw an
Speaker:educator team welcome a little girl into their room who was with all of her
Speaker:behavior asking to be sent away but they told her over and over again through
Speaker:their presence and through their connection and through making sure they
Speaker:were always available for a hug or to hold a hand when she was throwing things
Speaker:in the room because she was having a big meltdown instead of responding and
Speaker:reacting to the behavior rather they responded with care and I saw that little
Speaker:girl thrive in that environment. Love that quote that you share there those that
Speaker:need the most love are often asking for it in the most unloving ways. It's true I
Speaker:find that those caregivers that care the most often give the most of themselves
Speaker:in order to care for the one that they're caring for like learning sign
Speaker:language and maybe when the person you're caring for isn't even your
Speaker:responsibility continuing to open up your home and your heart making yourself
Speaker:available to be there for them. Like what would we do without those caregivers that
Speaker:go above and beyond. Now our series battery life of a caregiver so we're
Speaker:gonna talk about that a little bit but I can kind of working our way to that. You
Speaker:mentioned care and purpose and TBRI so how does how is that training informed
Speaker:your approach to care? So yeah TBRI for those who may not have heard of it
Speaker:before it's trust-based relational intervention so it's a intervention that
Speaker:came from Karen Purvis research as she spent time with children who were from
Speaker:hard places and who had experienced a lot of trauma and she saw these moments
Speaker:of connection and these moments of care really bringing healing to these
Speaker:children. So as I spent some time learning alongside Karen Purvis her team
Speaker:of teachers and educators and as I've grown alongside the care impact team as
Speaker:we learn and we train in trauma care training I've learned even more
Speaker:about looking at the behavior of children looking at the need behind their
Speaker:behavior and as I go out in the work that I do I look for those moments when
Speaker:there's there's something deeper you know we talk about the iceberg and we're
Speaker:so much of what we see on the surface is not really what's underneath and there's
Speaker:so much hidden often and I've also reflected that in the work that I've
Speaker:done over the years I wasn't aware of the toll that it was taking on me as I met
Speaker:the needs of those children and I absorbed a lot of what was going on
Speaker:underneath that iceberg. So taking the training to care for others you've
Speaker:recognized some things in your own life that you took from that training on how
Speaker:to care for yourself. Can you share some examples from TBRI or trauma-free world
Speaker:training that that has helped you learn how to care for yourself a little bit
Speaker:better as a caregiver? Well it's interesting when I look back and I
Speaker:realize how much I didn't understand about the nervous system and anyone who's
Speaker:listening who is in the field of caregiving in some capacity whether it's
Speaker:teaching early childhood education, social work, a parent you know we're
Speaker:connected to a lot of foster adoptive parents and the work that we do with
Speaker:care impact. We understand that when you are regulating and co-regulating which
Speaker:is a term that we use for that co-regulating that needs to happen for
Speaker:children when they are developing their ability to regulate on their own and we
Speaker:understand the toll that that takes on our own nervous system but I didn't
Speaker:understand that years ago looking back and so I held a lot of that stress and a
Speaker:lot of the emotional weight of the children and the things that they were
Speaker:going through in my body without knowing that that's what I was doing. So
Speaker:working in caregiving roles can be incredibly rewarding we know that but
Speaker:also demanding. Can you tell us about your support system because in the nature
Speaker:of the work that you're doing you're just always pouring out into people. I
Speaker:mean I'm sure there's some rewards in the work itself but what about your
Speaker:support system and how it helps you stay motivated and energized in the work
Speaker:that you do? I love this question Johan because I think it's so important to
Speaker:realize that for all of us as caregivers we need to know that we're not alone in
Speaker:the work that we do and when we look at resilience and the study of resilience
Speaker:one of the biggest factors both for children and for us as adults is a
Speaker:support system and what that looks like in making sure that we can as you said
Speaker:as we pour out that we're being filled back up again and our buckets are being
Speaker:refilled and refueled and I was thinking back through some of the ways that
Speaker:my community has supported me and I think one thing that is so so key is for us to
Speaker:be seen and I know recently you were talking to a social worker who is saying
Speaker:you know just that importance of people coming alongside and seeing the work that
Speaker:you do and how difficult it is and as I've had friends and family who when they
Speaker:ask how are you and how is your day there were times when I would come home
Speaker:from a busy day of teaching kindergarten and someone would ask how was your day
Speaker:and I just didn't know what to say because which part of the day the part
Speaker:where you know there was delight and joy on the face of this little child that
Speaker:just brought me joy or the part where this little guy because of his dysfunction
Speaker:at home and because of his trauma sobbed into my lap and yelled at me and said
Speaker:that I didn't care about him as we tried to hold you know keep him on track
Speaker:during the day so that the rest of the class would be held together and I look
Speaker:at those those moments of others really being willing to listen and willing to
Speaker:see me in the work that I did not just as the fun part of it but really listen
Speaker:to some of those those harder stories. You mentioned Rebecca the social worker
Speaker:that we had on for one of our previous interviews and how she mentioned how
Speaker:those recognizing the work that you do and how important it is how huge is it
Speaker:for the caregivers to keep them going to keep that battery life running for those
Speaker:being cared for to recognize the care that they're being given and to those
Speaker:that are watching you care for for the vulnerable for them to recognize your
Speaker:work like how much does that help your battery life and keep you going when you
Speaker:come home like are those things that you replay in your head over and over.
Speaker:Well I will say I have a jar on my dresser of special rocks and things that I've
Speaker:collected and I have a shell in there that one of a seashell that in one of my
Speaker:principles it was a very challenging class that I was dealing with and I
Speaker:remember going into the office one day to my mailbox and this is how much those
Speaker:little gestures mean because she had put a seashell in each of our mailboxes with
Speaker:a little note of how much she saw the work that we were doing with these
Speaker:individual children who were like precious seashells gathered on the beach and
Speaker:that this was a reminder to keep going and keep doing the work that we are doing
Speaker:and that had no monetary value and she probably doesn't even remember giving it
Speaker:to me but I took that and I saved it and just like the little things that
Speaker:children say we can be attuned to those moments as caregivers they don't have to
Speaker:be big big gestures grand gestures for me sometimes often it was just a little
Speaker:drawing that the kids would do a little piece of art missing me Joe this is you
Speaker:and there I am with my glasses and ponytails and I think oh that's how they see
Speaker:me and they see that I have a smile on my face and I know that I'm making a
Speaker:difference in their lives so it doesn't have to be a big grand gesture but it
Speaker:really does make a difference to be seen in in little ways in the work that we
Speaker:do. A smile can go a long way and I will say I also had a little girl walk in on
Speaker:superhero day and her dad had made a t-shirt with our faces on it and from a
Speaker:picture that we had had given just as a little a little gift and he had blown it
Speaker:up and we were so shocked to see our faces walk into the classroom on this
Speaker:day and it said my teachers are my superheroes and that was another moment
Speaker:that just I mean her little pigtails hanging off and that moment just gave us
Speaker:so much encouragement that the work that we're doing is seen by this father.
Speaker:That's amazing. Can you pinpoint a specific time where you felt cared for
Speaker:by someone in your community? Well beyond the listening there's practical help
Speaker:and I can very much remember one time when a friend she said I'm gonna make
Speaker:play-doh for your class and it may have seemed like a very small thing but I was
Speaker:so overwhelmed looking back I had children in the school I was teaching in
Speaker:downtown and there were children from refugee families and children from
Speaker:really challenging situations. I wasn't aware at the time of how much I was
Speaker:carrying but just something so practical of a resource that I wasn't going to be
Speaker:staying up late that night making play-doh for the class so a little practical
Speaker:things that my mom is so good at finding resources and things that she can she
Speaker:knew that I was resourcing my classroom a lot of teachers and educators spend
Speaker:their own money and their own time on bringing resources and so that was just
Speaker:a way that she showed love to me as well. That's beautiful so a little bit of
Speaker:play-doh can go a long way. You mentioned the importance of community
Speaker:support for caregivers. Can you offer some suggestions for like I know you're
Speaker:involved in the church as well in your church community around you? What about
Speaker:those that are in your church community? How can they offer more support? Well I
Speaker:remember Johan I was at a church in California when I was doing some work
Speaker:with a disability organization there and when I talk about being seen there was a
Speaker:moment that I felt so seen and it was actually Mother's Day and Mother's Day
Speaker:can be challenging for some people as we want to honor and recognize mothers but
Speaker:this particular Sunday they went up and prayed and in the prayer she said for
Speaker:those who love and lead and nurture and care and those words by the tears
Speaker:rolling down my face saw me in the work that I was doing and so I think that
Speaker:there's ways that in our communities and our churches we can see those who are
Speaker:serving in maybe ways that are not not visible often but we can see them in
Speaker:those moments and let them know we're supporting them and we're caring for
Speaker:them and appreciating what they do. It's so good recognizing people not only for
Speaker:the job that they do but for the role that they play and those gaps that they
Speaker:fill in people's lives. Let's talk a little bit about self-care so you mentioned
Speaker:one of those days where you're yelled at by a kid and you're feeling down so you
Speaker:you go through your long day at work and you come home through your door burnout
Speaker:is a real risk in the helping profession so what do you do to unwind when you
Speaker:walk through your door at home what's that feeling after one of those days and
Speaker:what do you do to to help adjust and recent to yourself? That's such a good
Speaker:question Johan and I feel like this is something that we have to keep coming
Speaker:back to I was actually talking to Alicia who you also hear on the podcast and she
Speaker:and I were talking about how even as we teach these things there's times where
Speaker:we feel like we're not practicing them for well in our own life and we were
Speaker:talking about how I think the real heart of the matter is paying attention and
Speaker:recalibrating when we can see that maybe we aren't giving ourselves the
Speaker:the refuel and the way that we need so for me some of those refueling things are
Speaker:to make sure that I'm moving my body. Yesterday I got home and I did not feel
Speaker:like getting on my bike but I instead of driving to the grocery store I got on
Speaker:my bike and I biked into the sunset and watched the sky turn color bike to the
Speaker:grocery store and just moving your body is so key in releasing some of that stress
Speaker:and some of the built-up stress of our nervous systems that we when we hold
Speaker:the tension and we hold the care of others and even just moving our body
Speaker:helps our brain to integrate the limbic system in our left and right brain to
Speaker:talk to each other and so there's science behind that. You don't have to know the
Speaker:science to know that it is just so important to move your body and for me
Speaker:another thing is is seeing beauty and I know that a lot of people who work in
Speaker:the area of trauma have talked about just the ways that our brain can take in
Speaker:so much of the challenge that we're dealing with and the pain of other
Speaker:people's stories and we need to recalibrate ourselves to beautiful things
Speaker:and so for me that is getting up in the morning and going for a walk or a run in
Speaker:the garden near my house this morning it was the sunflowers that were stretching
Speaker:up to the sky reading poetry making sure I'm a writer so I process a lot
Speaker:through writing and journaling and some of that I don't even know what's inside
Speaker:that needs to come out until I really make sure I carve out the time to sit down
Speaker:and write. I think some of the battle for some people might be that they don't
Speaker:necessarily recognize when they need to recalibrate or when things are becoming
Speaker:overwhelming so how have you learned to recognize that in your own life what are
Speaker:some of the red flags you might you might see when you realize while I'm
Speaker:feeling overwhelmed I'm having not a good day I need to be recentered. Yeah I
Speaker:think that is very key and again looking back I think there were times
Speaker:when I really got to the boiling point and you know we talk about compassion
Speaker:fatigue and burnout and those those things that can just build up until we
Speaker:get to the point where we just don't have tools left and resources left so I've
Speaker:tried to pay attention now like on the dashboard when you're looking for the
Speaker:signs that your tank is getting low and so for me some of that is just when I
Speaker:think we've talked a bit about processing emotion like how do we
Speaker:process some of these sad things that we are experiencing and I see those signs
Speaker:of overwhelm and just that inability to really work through my own emotions then
Speaker:I know I need to make time and space for like journaling and writing and just
Speaker:letting out some of what is building up inside. It's part of that building some
Speaker:of those things like journaling into your routine so you don't have to wait for
Speaker:those challenging days to come like is that something that you've learned that
Speaker:you need to do to build into your your daily routine to stay regulated? That is
Speaker:absolutely absolutely true and I think one thing that's really helpful for me
Speaker:when you ask about how do I how do we recalibrate is having other people in my
Speaker:life and in my community who know me well and help me to see some of those signs.
Speaker:Just recently when I wasn't well and I was trying to do some some things that I
Speaker:felt like needed to be done for work and a friend said but does it really need to
Speaker:be done and just having those people in your life who can help get you back on
Speaker:track when they see that you're overwhelming yourself or you're needing
Speaker:to build those spaces in for more care. Okay let's talk a little bit about that
Speaker:balance then because it's not like you go to work in and it's always difficult
Speaker:because you do love caring for the children that's why you do it because
Speaker:you're passionate about it it's something on your heart it's not something you come
Speaker:home saying oh I had to I have to do it again tomorrow but striking a balance
Speaker:between self-care and fully engaging with children can be challenging. Do you
Speaker:have any creative ways as you incorporate self-care activities while
Speaker:working with children because there's children outside of your workplace too
Speaker:right that you want to engage with? Yeah I love that question because it comes to
Speaker:mind just this morning I was walking with some children down a forest trail and
Speaker:they were having so much fun collecting acorns and tucking them in their pockets
Speaker:and finding them and giving them to me and I think there are times when the
Speaker:outdoors is so powerful and when we're spending time with children we can also
Speaker:combine that with another experience of movement or beauty this summer I had the
Speaker:privilege of walking on the beach with my niece and nephew and just the
Speaker:experience for them of the sensory experience of the waves and the water and
Speaker:the rocks and the sand and I think that for me nature is a really powerful way
Speaker:to help regulate both myself and the children that I'm with. That's great
Speaker:side note I also got to spend time with your niece and nephew walking on the
Speaker:beach this summer so that's kind of fun. Your brother Tim took us on a fun
Speaker:excursion there in Nova Scotia. Anyway moving along on this podcast
Speaker:specifically you're getting called upon because your professional roles and
Speaker:your gifts working with children as a teacher but how do you maintain your own
Speaker:personal identity outside your profession and the things that you're good at as a
Speaker:caregiver and educator? Well I appreciate that question and something that I've
Speaker:been reflecting on recently is the need for me to make sure that I have fun in
Speaker:my life because that is something also that is very off it's a buffer to some
Speaker:of these hard things and the challenges that we deal with as caregivers and I
Speaker:reflected on how for children play is so so just a part of who they are and they
Speaker:just go into that flow so easily and because part of my my professional role
Speaker:has been to learn about play I've reflected on how I need more of that in
Speaker:my life and so this weekend a friend just messaged and said I've booked a
Speaker:campsite and I said yes I want to come and so some of those things that I'm just
Speaker:making sure that I'm looking at my weekends and making sure that they're not
Speaker:all booked with training and caregiving but there are also other things in my
Speaker:life that are filling my bucket and I will say that a gift in my life has been
Speaker:friends who both appreciate me as a caregiver for their children at times
Speaker:but appreciate me as a friend and I know that to them I am a friend and not just
Speaker:a caregiver for their children even though I love their children dearly. Let's
Speaker:talk about secondary trauma a little bit it can be a real concern for caregivers
Speaker:first of all what is secondary trauma and second of all how do you ensure your
Speaker:maintaining healthy boundaries to avoid this secondary trauma? Well this when we
Speaker:work alongside people who are going through different challenges we often
Speaker:start to experience the pain of their challenges for example some of the
Speaker:children that I've worked with either they've come from countries that have
Speaker:had a lot of unrest and they come as refugees or there's a home situation
Speaker:that's very dysfunctional I've worked with children who are palliative or have
Speaker:lost a parent and some of these situations are very traumatic and it's
Speaker:easy for us to experience that traumatic situation through caring for this child
Speaker:and their family and one thing that we talk about in the trauma course is the
Speaker:importance of debriefing the importance of talking through a situation eat
Speaker:whether it's a child or an adult it we call it name it to tame it I think Dan
Speaker:Siegel coined that phrase where we name it to tame it and talking through it
Speaker:takes away some of the the overwhelm of that trauma and so when you work with a
Speaker:good team I think a lot of people who have worked in a hard difficult challenging
Speaker:job will say you can do a hard thing if you have a good team and for us in the
Speaker:in the work that we do that means having people that are supportive that you know
Speaker:you can debrief with on a Friday afternoon if you just email and say I
Speaker:need to talk through something that happened so having a supportive team and
Speaker:again all these things that we talked about making sure that we're buffering
Speaker:the rest of our lives with the things that do reorient us to goodness and to
Speaker:beauty and to life and moving our bodies and eating well and getting sleep and
Speaker:all of those things that will help keep us able to lean towards goodness in the
Speaker:world now I know your person of faith how does your faith help keep you
Speaker:centered in your daily routines what role does faith play in your self care
Speaker:well I think one thing that I've learned the real value of is solitude and quiet
Speaker:and in a world that can be very loud and a job that can be very loud when you're
Speaker:with people and people that have a lot of needs just that need to be quiet and
Speaker:for me sometimes that means walking outside in the beauty of nature and God's
Speaker:creation it means often in the morning just taking that time to breathe and to
Speaker:read and journal to listen to music on my way to work I love the one of the
Speaker:albums from the sanctuary course sanctuary songs that has some beautiful
Speaker:songs to center and ground and just sometimes a breath prayer breathing God's
Speaker:peace over the day if there's not time for much else but just knowing that I
Speaker:don't go into that work alone now you probably don't work with too many
Speaker:believers in your current workplace but like doing trauma care work with care
Speaker:impact how important is it for you to have people of faith around you to debrief
Speaker:and have those conversations with well it has been a gift having the care impact
Speaker:team you know we're connected across from Winnipeg to Nova Scotia and just when we
Speaker:get on the screen in those squares of our meetings we know that each one in
Speaker:that frame understands some of the toll of the work that we do and there's
Speaker:support and there is an understanding of the need to be with each other in that
Speaker:space and to pray for each other and to walk with each other in the work that we
Speaker:do yeah and I find I find it a little bit harder on the screen but we do have
Speaker:those opportunities where we can connect in person those are always really good
Speaker:I know just having those connecting points I think with with believers that
Speaker:you work with so important to just debrief some of those frustrations and
Speaker:talking about frustrations we haven't really talked about some of those things
Speaker:in the work that you do in caregiving that are frustrating for you some of
Speaker:those pain points so that we know what actually brings up that stress and and
Speaker:maybe some people aren't recognizing some of those pain points in their own
Speaker:life well I think anyone who works in the field of either education or social
Speaker:services somewhere health care we know that feeling of trying to stop a flood
Speaker:with a bean bag there's times where it feels like our resources are so small
Speaker:and so stretched and our capacity is so maxed out that I think sometimes it is
Speaker:hard to pinpoint sometimes what exactly is going on inside and I think for me
Speaker:personally I tend to go more to overwhelm and to sadness and not even fully
Speaker:understand what might be underneath some of that is frustration at some of
Speaker:these challenges that we come across in the systems that are broken and the gaps
Speaker:that we find children are falling through and so I think it's it's helpful to
Speaker:acknowledge that some of those things are really challenging and difficult and
Speaker:and then come back to some of these practices when we do feel that
Speaker:frustration coming of making sure that we are filling our own buckets and also
Speaker:coming back to what is our role and what is ours to carry it's taken me years to
Speaker:really process and learn this but we know that we are not the ones that can
Speaker:fix everything and solve all the problems and how do we focus on what God has
Speaker:given us to do in the work that we do and yeah and show up fully for that seems
Speaker:very common in the area of caregiving that there's systematic frustrations and
Speaker:while we know those continue to exist you just keep saying yes to it over and
Speaker:over again so there's obviously some value there's there's something rewarding
Speaker:about doing this there's those things that you can look back on and say it was
Speaker:worth it can you think of a time maybe a situation or something you can just
Speaker:look back and and say you know what all the hard work all those tough times it
Speaker:was worth it because of that well there's a lot of those moments and one of them
Speaker:that really stands out that little guy mentioned earlier who was sobbing in my
Speaker:lap often and you know yelling at me that I didn't care about him when I at the
Speaker:end of the year we all gathered because I was leaving and I was leaving the
Speaker:school to go on to something else and all the children wrote me a book and they
Speaker:said cute things you know as kindergarten kids do but his I kept close to my heart
Speaker:and I still have that quote because he wrote Miss Amy Jo helps me when I have
Speaker:trouble with stuff and that just hit my heart because I knew that even through
Speaker:all those moments where he said you don't care about me something got through
Speaker:and all that care we made sure there were times where we reorganized our
Speaker:breaks so that we would be with him and so that he wouldn't be alone and made
Speaker:sure that we always had a place right beside us where he could feel that
Speaker:physical closeness because he had experienced neglect and when he said
Speaker:she helps me when I have trouble with stuff I knew that that love and that care
Speaker:had gotten through and my sister-in-law Galena who's also part of our trauma care
Speaker:team she often reminds me that when children know that you care they don't
Speaker:care how much you know sometimes till they know how much you care and that it
Speaker:really really matters in the work that we do even if we feel like we're not
Speaker:meeting all the goals that we want to meet in education if those children walk
Speaker:away knowing they were loved and cared for then it was totally worth it now I
Speaker:want to give you a chance to just share a little bit so reflecting on these
Speaker:experiences what are some of the most valuable insights that you have to create
Speaker:that caring environment where the caregivers feel cared for even if it's
Speaker:self-care like what's your best advice for those that might be in similar roles
Speaker:that you are in yeah I think one thing that we talked about earlier was really
Speaker:listening and asking how people are doing and then listening to what would be
Speaker:supportive to them and it could be something small like bringing a meal
Speaker:when they've had a long day and you know I have friends who to be able to eat
Speaker:around the table I have a friend who she'll often invite me for dinner with her
Speaker:kids and to be able to sit around the table with children that I'm not
Speaker:responsible for caring for but just enjoying a family dinner inviting someone
Speaker:into your home or making sure there's time for a phone call you know I have
Speaker:had friends that I can text and say I'm having a hard day and know that they're
Speaker:gonna be present so just making sure that we're looking for ways that we can
Speaker:connect and support even if someone's not asking for it also asking ways that
Speaker:we can support okay we're coming to the end of our interview thanks so much Amy
Speaker:Jill for all your insights and thank you for being a caregiver to some of our
Speaker:most vulnerable because our children need caregivers like you well I appreciate
Speaker:it Johan and I will say that I get to work with caregivers every day and I have
Speaker:witnessed so many in my life who are caring and caring well thank you for
Speaker:joining another conversation on Journey with Care where we inspire curious
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