Join Courtney Florey and Rachel as they explore decluttering, creating breathing room, and finding contentment in life with practical tips and insights.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12
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Welcome. Today we are talking with the sweetest girl. I'm so excited for this conversation. Today we were talking with Courtney Florey.
I cannot wait to get into this conversation because I always tell people I love helping get your time management skills together, getting more efficient. Let's talk about schedules and calendars and planners and checklists and like, that is my jam. But don't you dare come look at my house. Do not.
Don't ask about it. Don't like, please come organize my thing. No, no, ma'am, I will not. Please and thank you. But you know who is helpful with that? It's Courtney.
So before we jump right in, I want to tell you a little bit about her. In case you don't know who she is yet, you will by the end of today's conversation.
Courtney is a military wife, boy mom, and decluttering coach who helps moms simplify their homes and find contentment in life. Her heart is to be the encouraging friend and gentle guide that makes the often emotionally exhausting process of decluttering feel doable.
She knows decluttering can feel isolating, and she's passionate about providing a safe space to support moms on their journey to simplicity because it's always better when it's done together. And I find that to be so true. If I have a friend in here to help me manage the chaos, it's doable. I can manage that.
So, Courtney, I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for joining me.
Courtney Florey:Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited.
Host:Yeah, we're just going to dive right in. We've heard who you are, and now we want to hear what you have to say.
So before we can go too deep into decluttering, I gotta know, what does breathing room look like or feel like for you?
Courtney Florey:Yeah. So for me, it's being able to physically exhale in my home, sit on the couch and rest without feeling guilty, without feeling like or knowing.
In the back of my head, I have 53 other things to do. Whether it's on my to do list, whether it's because I'm looking around and from the couch, I can see the piles or the things.
Host:Have you been in my house? Have you been in my house lately?
Courtney Florey:It is the physical clutter.
I mean, there's so many ways that clutter impacts us, but the visual clutter, it's that constant reminder that there's more to do, and it makes me feel like I can't rest. Like, yes, I very well could. But seeing it is like, nope, get up and go do that. You can't rest until it's done.
And so for me, it's being able to sit down, feel at peace in my home without looking around and seeing all of those little reminders.
Host:Yes. Oh, and I'm so excited to talk about this today.
I need all of your wisdom because it sounds like when I talk about, like, let's create some breathing room, but I'm talking about, like, mental clarity and healthy boundaries in your life and this physical space. Like, you really want to see my full on ADHD show up, girl. Look around my house. I know.
I also, I always feel like I do have room to breathe when my physical space is not a cluttered mess like you've said. But I will also say the idea of being a minimalist, Right. That feels very unattainable right now.
Especially, you know, I've still got two teens in my house that I'm trying to raise. So that's a whole, you know, whether it's little kids, big kids, kids got stuff.
And so being a minimalist with other humans in your home is a whole vibe. And then also getting everything organized is a whole thing.
So is there still a way that we can create this physical breathing room without hiring a professional organizer or throwing out everything that we own? What does that look like?
Courtney Florey:Yeah. So I take a very simple but realistic approach when it comes to decluttering.
Over the years of working with moms, I've seen that a lot of the time women will fall into one of those camps, like feeling like they have to throw everything out or feeling like decluttering or quote, unquote. Being a minimalist has to look some type of way. They have to get rid of X amount of things.
And they can only have five pairs of jeans, you know, five pairs of jeans. And it's like, that just doesn't work for most people or they feel like they have to get organized. Maybe they aren't a naturally organized person.
And so they feel like, okay, well, I need to get all the bins. I need it to look pretty imperfect a lot of the time because of what we see on Instagram.
There's even TV shows now, you know, where it's all about getting organized. And I think there's a time and place for it. It doesn't mean we can't ever do it.
But that isn't going to be your first step if you're drowning in stuff because you really want to address the root of the problem, which is the stuff. And instead of just putting it in bins and baskets, which, by the way, you're probably going out to spend money on.
And I like to say you're buying more stuff to put your stuff in right when you want to just get rid of it. So don't feel like.
Or take the pressure off to feel like you have to be in one of those two groups or you have to dive in and, you know, fit this mold. Because you don't.
You can declutter in a way that works for your life and that reflects the way you want to live by being intentional and asking yourself some questions. The main one being, what do I want my life to look like? What do I want for my life? For example, do you want more breathing room?
Do you want to feel at peace at home? Are you tired of tripping over stuff or not being able to find anything?
Okay, if that's the case, then how can this stuff in your home or how much you have or what you have reflect that? Unfortunately, it's not a black and white answer. I know a lot of the time people are like, but just tell me, like, what do I do?
Because it's helpful and it's easy. It's like, if I knew exactly what to do, I could do it and be done, but it's not.
And it can be emotionally exhausting because there's so many decisions you have to make. But when you know in the back of your head, I want X for my life, I want, you know, more peace.
Whatever it is, it feels, at least for me, it has felt a little bit easier to let go of certain things because I know what I'm working towards. I know it's not about having as much as I can or I know for some, like, having a lot makes them feel comfortable or makes them feel safe.
But again, if you have this end goal, I think it can be motivating to kind of take those steps forward.
Host:Yes. Oh, it's so good. And you are, in fact, speaking to the queen of purchasing bins or baskets.
It's kind of like how, you know, and I'm one of these people too, but you go through and you want to get your ish together. Well, obviously, I just need a different kind of planner. Obviously, that basket wasn't the right size of basket or I need them color coded.
Now there are, we want the fix right. And I love what you're saying about, like, there's not an answer. There's not one thing. But setting that intention, going to, what is the goal here?
What is the thing that I most need in life? Um, I love Kendra Adachi, the lazy genius. Right. She talks, you know, decide once. So set your intention. This is the thing.
Decide once what your goal is, and everything gets filtered through that. So I love the idea of, as we go through our spaces, what are we filtering it through? What is the whole point? Ooh, that's good. Okay, I'm.
I'm gonna like to be taking notes and baby step through my house one bit at a time. And the other piece of this I love. One thing that you and I connect on is scripture.
And in everything we discuss here in this space, we are always seeking the truth in God's word. And I know you talk a lot about contentment, and that feels like a really big part of this conversation.
Everything you've said, whatever it is you're looking for, you're looking for the thing that brings contentment. And so how does seeking contentment play into the struggle that we have to create breathing room in our physical spaces?
Courtney Florey:Yeah. So I just want to start by reading a verse, because this is what I mean. I think we can pull the answer from this verse. And I remember I've. I.
I can't remember when I first read it. I mean, it was a long time ago, but I just remember it really resonating with me. And it talks about contentment. So this is Philippians 4:12.
It says, I know what. Dang it. Let me turn the page. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. There you go. I mean that. It's like, there's so much in that. It's like, wow, I've learned. I have learned because it's a choice you make.
It's something you do have to learn. It's not. Doesn't come natural. I mean, you have to choose to see a situation and say, I am grateful for these things.
There might be this challenge, but I'm thankful, you know, or this is what the Lord has given me.
And when you think about that with decluttering and just the society we live in, there, there's always this pull for more social media marketing advertisements everywhere. I mean, there's Advent. There are advertisements everywhere we look.
Host:Literally, literally everywhere.
Courtney Florey:Yes, but especially social media, you know, we go on, we see what everybody else has, and whether consciously or subconsciously, we start to feel like we need to have those things too. And what I love talking about and just learning about Is the deeper root. Right.
Because, yeah, the jeans look cute or those might look good on you or whatever it is, but, like, where is that coming from? Right? Are you looking for belonging? Are you looking for a sense of purpose?
And whatever it is you might be buying, are you feeling like you need to keep up with other people because you're feeling a certain way about yourself? And that can often impact how we spend our money and what we buy and then what comes into our home and how much stuff we have.
So it is, I think, so impactful to cultivate this heart of contentment in life, not just with decluttering, but in life, because it makes life better when you live knowing, I have enough, because I have Jesus, because he's given me what I need.
Host:Yeah, Yeah.
Courtney Florey:I can still enjoy shopping. I can still buy and use things in my life. Like, we need things, we use things.
But putting stuff in its rightful place, as I like to say, and not obsessing or getting to a place where it's controlling our lives, because sometimes we can feel like our stuff is controlling us and not the other way around, as it should be.
Host:Yeah, absolutely.
And as you're talking, I especially thought, as you were talking about the Genesis clothes, I know is a big thing for a lot of us, and some of it is, that looks cute, I want it. Or that's really popular right now. That would be fun to have. Or I've worked really hard, I deserve it. I know is, you know, a big one.
But also those of us who have had our bodies change over the years for, you know, we've had babies or had health issues or stress ate our way out of X, Y and Z. You know, there's all the different reasons, and we hang on to the things.
And I just had this conversation the other day with someone, you know, well, I'm hanging on to those because when I lose X number of pounds, then I. That's going to be my reward. And I looked her in the face and I said, listen, listen, Linda.
Her name was not Linda, but I just felt the name, Listen, Linda. When I. If I lose 30 pounds, I get to go shopping, I get to get.
I don't want to hang on to the things that bring me guilt or shame or make me feel bad about myself. I want them gone. And that has been a more recent thing for me because we do. We just.
We want to do better and be better and aren't content with the way things are. So I think that's a big heart piece.
Courtney Florey:Yeah.
Host:To explore and with stuff this was another conversation. I've been having a lot of these conversations lately.
Courtney, this is very well timed, but a friend and I were talking about the things we have, like, to decorate in our homes, and you know, what we like and don't like. And I really kind of went through this season where I am not an interior decorator. Also, don't ask me to come decorate your house.
That's bad News Bears. You don't want it. But I love having words around me that are encouraging or having scripture.
I need the visual reminders to keep me on track through the day. And so I do have quite a few things in my house that have words, but it kind of got to that point where it's like, we're gonna be drowning.
We're, like, having books on the wall, like, speaking to us. We gotta narrow this down.
And so just being aware that it's good to have a couple things like that that you like, but you don't have to have all of them everywhere, all the time. And that's where. Not being a minimalist, but like, moderation, I guess.
Courtney Florey:Yeah. Being intentional or. Or selective with what you choose.
Host:Yes. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not great at that yet.
Courtney Florey:Courtney, you will be. You can get there.
Host:Okay. Thank you.
And okay, so with that, I have heard you are the queen of quick wins and dopamine boosts, which my neuro spicy brain loves when it comes to clearing out our physical spaces. So I'm here for it. What are a few ways we can get that quick win with decluttering and feel better about the physical space we are in?
Tell us all your secrets.
Courtney Florey:Yes.
So first thing I want to say before we start even touching stuff or chucking stuff in bags, because I know you're ready, I want you to take the pressure off, to feel like you have to do it all at once or all in one day or in a weekend, even a week. I mean, we put these, I think, because we're so eager and, like, we get to the point when we're done.
And I think with decluttering, we really have to work our way up to even starting. We have to finally get to the place where we're either like, okay, I'm really ready, or I'm so overwhelmed, like, I want to throw everything away.
I've had people say that. Or I want to move and start fresh because they literally are just so done. Right? So I think it gets. It takes a lot to get there.
And then once we're there, it's like, okay, I'm ready. Let's go.
But what I have seen happen is people put these unrealistic expectations on themselves to, you know, I'm going to do it all today or I'm going to do whatever it is. And then we've all seen those reels of, you know, the girl in the closet surrounded by all the clothes on her phone.
Like, oh, how I'm watching reels in my closet with all my clothes around me because I'm now overwhelmed, right? I pulled everything off the hangers and now, but I haven't made any decisions and now I'm overwhelmed because I did too much at once.
And I, I can relate just like wanting to just do it, but to prevent the burnout, to prevent feeling overwhelmed. And then, I mean, usually what happens afterwards, it's like, I can't do this. I'm done. That was too hard. It's not for me. I'll do it later.
And then later never comes, right?
Host:Yeah.
Courtney Florey:So to prevent that, I want you to give yourself the permission to start small, to take one step. It's just, it's so much more doable. It feels more realistic.
You walk away feeling good because you accomplished the thing you were going to do because it was bite sized.
So some examples, your fridge, great place to start because decision making is going to feel easier there than, for example, your closet or the totes of baby clothes in the garage. Oh, don't let's not start there. Fridge.
Maybe one junk drawer in your kitchen with random stuff that, you know, okay, half of this can probably be tossed and it's just easy decision making. Maybe it's your car, maybe it's your reusable bag collection.
I mean, things like that where, you know, hey, I could probably knock this out 10, 15 minutes and you're done. And from there you can decide, you know, okay, I'm done. That's great. I'm going to pick this back up another day and do another small task.
Or sometimes what happens is you do it and you're like feeling really good because you can see the visible pro or the visual progress, which I love about decluttering. Sometimes with other things, I don't know, for example, weight loss, 15 minutes of working out. We don't see the pounds fall off.
Host:What a waste. I hate it so much.
Courtney Florey:Right?
But with decluttering, 15 minutes of getting rid of whatever and from, you know, you can open the drawer or you can see that cabinet and you can visibly see, wow, you know, I have 50% less stuff, or, oh, I can move things around because everything isn't crammed in there. And it's really motivating. And I want to also say decluttering can give you a dopamine boost.
I know you don't believe me, and I know shopping, clicking that buy button, ooh, it feels so good. But decluttering it really, if you do it right, right.
We're not going in and getting overwhelmed, because that doesn't feel good and that doesn't give us the dopamine boost. But when you can do it, little bite size and you can stand back and look, it feels good.
You feel like you made some progress, and you feel more encouraged to keep going. Instead of the burnout where you're like, I'm done. It's not for me.
Host:I love that so much. And I. I have experienced that, you know, and it's. It's so funny because when I have the moment of like, we have got to empty this room of all.
It's usually like, I'm looking at one of my kids room, and I'm like, what is even happening in here? I'm. I'm setting everything on fire. I can't handle it, you know, but we did something recently because we were having multifamily yard sale. Fix it.
Jesus. It was a whole thing. But with that, I was like, we are going through all of the games.
We have like two cabinets that are board games and card games and all these. And I was like, even if that's like all we do, I want to go through these.
And I had gotten these little zipper bags that you could put things in and still see what was inside them. And they were clear. And I realized most of the board games, all of the little pieces would fit in this bag. And then you just have the board.
I consolidated two cabinets down to like a little basket of bags.
Courtney Florey:Wow.
Host:And a stack of. Listen. I felt like I had conquered the world that day.
And I mean, I did it with the kids because we're, you know, what do we want to keep and play together? But that was all we did was go through. And it probably was over the course of like five days. We would do it for a little bit, put it away, come back.
But when we finished it, it was like, we are rock stars. We should eat cookies. We are so amazing. And so I believe you with the dopamine hit. I'm here for that.
And I love the idea of instead of looking, I'm sitting here at my desk and I have this tower of drawers next to me. Oh, my gosh. When I think of, like, I need to go through that whole thing and whatever's in it, it makes me want to cry.
But if I was like, today, I just want to clean out this one drawer, I might not cry over that. It might feel good.
Courtney Florey:Yes.
Host:So when I think about the task at hand, I do feel overwhelmed, and I don't know why. I mean, if I sit here and think about it long enough, we could probably figure it out. But we don't like to leave things undone. Right.
We've talked before about needing to close the open loops in our head. We can't rest with all these open loops. And so I think one way to do.
To close those loops around decluttering anyway is that permission slip you just gave everybody. I love giving permission slips. And so the one to say, like, you actually don't have to. It's not unfinished because you haven't done all the things.
Breaking it down like that is so.
Courtney Florey:That's so good.
Host:I'm not gonna sit with that a while. Thank you.
So in your process of doing all these things and you've got, you know, you're a mom, you're doing the mom life, trying to manage your own time and space. What are some tools or some strategies that you have found that are the most helpful to manage your time and allow you to have some breathing room?
Courtney Florey:So I have two. I have, like, a personal one and more of a business one.
Host:Yeah.
Courtney Florey:Although the business one, honestly, that could apply, really, to anything. So first one, I really enjoy cooking and baking and just making things for my family. So I find that planning ahead.
And I'm totally a planner, too, so I love it, or prepping ahead, whatever it might be for meals, is huge. And, I mean, I think we're all.
I would assume as moms, we're always looking for ways like, what do we, you know, the next meal planning hack or prepping. And for me, it's not necessarily anything rigid. It's more.
Usually I'll go grocery shopping on Saturday or Sunday, and then usually Sunday, I'll kind of prep for the week ahead. Wash fruit, put those in a container.
Because I know especially with produce, it's like, well, especially with fruit, it's so easy to just grab it out of a container right when it's washed. And, like, especially, you know, grapes. It was really just anything. You don't want to have to wash it every time. Like, it's an extra step.
Host:Yeah.
Courtney Florey:It also makes it last longer. Right. When you wash it right away and then you store it. So things like that, that really are simple.
It takes a little extra step in the beginning, but it really sets your week up and just makes it a little bit simpler so that you're not having to do all of those things every time, I guess. Right.
Because you're washing it once and then you're done and then you can grab it or, you know, whatever it is, prepping muffins or breakfast or snacks or things like that. So I like doing that.
Host:Yeah.
Courtney Florey:Also leaning into the days when I feel really energized or really like I'm a. I'm getting it done today and doing work again. This could be business, it could be house or whatever it is. Right.
But for me, it's usually more, probably more work for my business. Just cranking it out because I feel good and I'm like, what can I do? What can I check off?
Host:Yeah.
Courtney Florey:So that on the days when I'm feeling like I want to rest or I'm not in the head space to want to create or whatever it is, I can rest guilt free again. Right. Without having, without feeling like, oh, shoot, you know, I needed to do these tasks or these are time sensitive things and I.
It just, it makes such a difference. Right.
Because I know, you know, when you're not in the right head space, especially with when it's like work that you really need to think about or, you know, it's not just stuff you can like kind of do on autopilot, but you really need your heart into it. You want to be doing it from a place where you feel like you can pour into it.
Host:Right.
Courtney Florey:And I'm no expert on cycle syncing, but I know that, you know, if you do that, that can kind of help.
And I learned about that a little bit earlier on learning about, you know, during your cycle, like when it is, you know, what phase where you're feeling more energized. And then, you know, okay, the week before, like, I start my period, I'm going to want to rest.
And then you can do that knowing that you've planned ahead.
Host:Yes. And I do think you've talked several times about doing things guilt free.
Like, and that's for some people are like, I don't know what that feels like. How does one live?
You know, And I think there's always the tendency for that stuff to kind of creep up and say, like, now wait a minute, what are you doing resting? Like, you've got all these things, that piece of it. I think being able to say, I'm putting it all in on These days. I'm resting on these days.
Being intentional, that is a big part of creating breathing room for yourself because you are not able to breathe easily and feel like you are able to rest and be at peace.
Even if you've got the space for it physically and you've created space on your calendar, if your heart and mind are not allowing that space is not really breathing room because you're still shooting all over yourself and it stinks. So I, I just love that you pull that piece out. That matters so much. So I love that. Okay, two last really easy questions and we're gonna wrap it up.
I would love to know if there is a book or a podcast would like to recommend to our ladies?
Courtney Florey:Yes, I have two. So Chasing Slow by Aaron Lochner is a classic. Have you read it or heard of it?
Host:Yes, I've heard of it. It's on my list. It's on my eternal list.
Courtney Florey:Yeah. To be read books. Yeah, I have one of those too. Yeah, it's so great.
Just, you know, it totally talks about what we talked about in this conversation and more. Not only simple living or decluttering, but really well. Yeah, simple living, pursuing a slower paced life.
Such a great, like warm hug, gentle, encouraging read. So great.
Host:Love that.
Courtney Florey:Also the Four Winds by Kristin Hannah. I don't know if we have any Kristen Hannah fans out there.
Host:That's another one on my list. You're just. Okay, so now I literally, I'm like, I just have to go do it.
Courtney Florey:I just have to get them five stars for that one. I mean, I mean the Nightingale read that years ago. So good. I don't know. Did you. Have you read that one?
Host:No, I'm telling you, my TBR list, Courtney is coming out my ears at this point. And so this is what you're telling me is I've got to just bite the bullet. Well, Ian, you know, surgery recovery allows for lots of reading time, so.
All right, putting it down.
Courtney Florey:So though, Kristin Hannah, you can't go wrong. I mean, she has, I think better books than others, but I think her historical fiction honestly are the best.
So hands down, if you need a good read, go listen or yeah, listen on audiobook or grab a.
Host:Okay for copy. Perfect. I'm linking them in the show notes. I'm excited to jump in. They're moving to the top of my pile because especially the. Well, both of them.
But Chasing Slow is one that we've heard recommended a couple times here, so. Okay, I need to do it. I need to jump in and do it and I'll get to them all eventually. My lovely books.
So, okay, where can everybody who is listening today, where can they connect with you? Because I know you've got some good stuff we need to find. Tell us all the things.
Courtney Florey:Yes. So you can find me on Instagram @declutterandwell.
There is lots of content there for you to just binge enjoy, get tips from, get inspiration from, feel seen.
Because sometimes with decluttering, it's like I just want to feel validated, like, I'm not the only one struggling, I'm not the only one overwhelmed. Because you are so not. Like, please. No, you are not. I know there's so much on Instagram, you feel like everyone else has it together but me.
No, it is not true. So please know that. And if you need some inspiration, some encouragement, you'll find that on my page.
Host:Awesome.
Courtney Florey:And then I also have the Simple Life starter kit.
It is a super short four page guide that will give you a little bit more encouragement to get going, remind you of your priorities before you start decluttering, and then it will give you 10, 10 minute tasks that you can do. I shared some earlier in the episode.
You're going to get 10 more to just start, right, to get that quick win and to start your journey to a simpler life.
Host:Love that. Well, thank you so much for being here today and sharing all of your. Your gracious wisdom. It wasn't just like, here's all the things to do.
It was like grace and love. And we need that so much. Especially, you know, when this is releasing. We've like rolled out of holiday season.
We're starting out a new year and this is the time when everybody's like, I'm gonna get my life together.
So I love that you have shown up today with this gracious permission slip to do things as needed and to kind of learn, like we've said in the scripture in Philippians, learn contentment in all things. So I'm gonna wallow in that one for a little bit too. And I will. I'll link, I'll add that one, that verse to the show notes.
We'll add all the books and the podcasts. Everything we've talked about is gonna be linked below. Y'all go follow Courtney on Instagram. She's amazing and I hope we get to talk again soon.
Thank you.
Courtney Florey:Me too. Thank you.
Host:All right, guys, we'll see you next time.