In this engaging episode, Kimberly Wardell speaks candidly about her life experiences that shaped her into the transformational speaker and mental health coach she is today.

From her childhood marked by addiction and mental health struggles to her current role as a chaplain and author, Kimberly shares the raw reality of her journey. She discusses how societal expectations often lead individuals to hide their struggles, especially in faith-based environments where mental health issues can be stigmatized.

Kimberly calls for a shift in how we address mental health in our communities, advocating for compassion and understanding over judgment. With her warm and relatable approach, she invites listeners to reflect on their own life stories, encouraging them to find strength in vulnerability.

The episode not only delves into personal accountability and the importance of taking risks but also emphasizes that healing is a process that requires both inner work and external support.

Ultimately, Kimberly’s message is one of hope and empowerment, reminding us all that transformation is possible, no matter our past.

Takeaways:

• Resilience is built through personal struggle, and we can emerge stronger from adversity.
• Finding mental wellness requires acknowledging our pain and seeking help, not hiding it away.
• Transformation often involves painful self-reflection and learning to love ourselves despite our flaws.
• True healing comes when we stop blaming others and take responsibility for our own lives.

You can connect with Kimberly on her websites at: www.developinginnerexcellence.com & thisisyourcity.ca

 & her social platforms at:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.wardell.1/

FB Group; Developing Inner Excellence: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064105897607

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now we're my battle cry without shame this isn't the the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within.

Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Darrell Snow.

Let's dive in.

Hey.

Good morning.

And as I continue to do this show, I find more and more stories that are just fascinating, and I'm excited to share.

And today, my guest, Kimberly Wardell.

Kimberly is a transformational speaker, but she's also an author, a mental health coach, and a chaplain, and also a world traveler who's passionate about helping people build resilience and grow through their life's challenges.

Now, drawing from her own personal story of adversity, she brings hope, authenticity, practical tools to every audience she meets.

And.

And her mission is to inspire lasting change and remind people that no matter where they are, transformation is always possible.

And, Kimberly, I appreciate you joining me today.

Hi.

Thank you for having me.

You are another one of my international guests.

I've had them from all over the world.

And you're coming from Canada today?

Yes, Ontario.

Ontario.

Did you grow up in Canada or are you just living there?

No, I grew up in Canada, born and raised in Canada.

I did live in the States for a bit when I was younger.

My father was American from Wyoming, so I did live there for a bit.

We traveled across the country of.

Of the States.

But Canada is where I am growing up in Canada.

You know, I know what growing up in different regions of the US Is like.

What's it.

What was it like growing up in Canada as a young child?

Well, I guess like growing up anywhere.

If you ask any child, what's it like growing up where you are, that's your home.

So it's.

It's.

I mean, Canada's great.

Canada's.

I'm very proud Canadian, though, right now.

We're not going to get involved in that right now.

But I love my country so much.

I just don't.

I'm just praying for it to come back to a wonderful Canada.

I think, you know, to be honest, we're all praying that our own countries, actually, the world just comes back to being, you know, back to the center and civilization of humanity so we can be proud of.

Yeah, it's nice if we could actually all just start acting like humans instead of, you know, divisive individuals.

But in the bio you, you're an author, you're a speaker, but you're also a chaplain.

How did, how did you, how did you grow into being a chaplain?

That's the story.

That's the funniest.

It's not funny.

But I had no desire, I never even thought about it, let alone have a desire to be a chaplain.

It was never in my sights.

But when I went back to school to become a cognitive behavioral therapist, open my practice as a mental wellness coach, there is somebody I know who owns a chaplain school in America.

And so he thought it would be good training for my practice.

And so I took the training and I was like, wow, this is really good.

So I took it again with the intent this time to be.

Because the first time I took it, I didn't take any of the exams or anything.

I just sat in on the courses the whole time.

The second time I'm like, okay, I gotta do this.

I gotta get my credentials.

Because the training was so good for my practice then just searching.

So I don't know why.

I came across an ad looking for a chaplain at a long term care facility.

Oh my gosh.

I can't even, I can't even tell you, Daryl.

Like there was nothing in me working with seniors, working with Alzheimer's, nothing.

But I applied.

I don't even know to this day what I was thinking, but I applied.

It was very part time, which was perfect.

I went for the interviews, they loved me, I loved them.

And I can't imagine not being there right now.

Isn't it amazing how we, like, we set out to do one thing and then God really leads us into an entirely different world direction with it without us even realizing it.

You know that, that, that's what happens.

And I know that you're a, you're an author and a speaker.

You're also a transformational coach.

I find from those of us in this space, most of us have come through something to be able to help others get through it as well.

Where did your.

Because I know in the bio we talk about your adversity coming through your own adversity.

What was the start of that journey for you?

Well, I'll give you a little bit of the start of the journey, but I really want to, to stick to a certain part of the mental wellness journey for me.

But you know, I grew up in, in an area, in an environment with a lot of addictions and mental health issues and abuse.

I grew up with that.

And then later on in life, you know, as happens with most of us, when we grow up in those environments.

I kind of started mirroring those things in my own life.

Went through.

Went through all I needed to go through all the addictions and mental health myself, you know, and then through life, kind of worked through that.

But I think what really.

I say work through it.

I didn't perfect it.

I mean, I did stop.

You know, I'm not an addict.

I'm not a lot of things anymore.

But mentally, the mental health issues didn't go away just because I got healthier and better in some aspects, I. I found throughout my life, I still kept struggling mentally.

And then later on in my life, when I became a Christian, you know, the Lord found me right where I was.

Thank you, Lord.

And I became a Christian.

And, you know, things did, of course, get better, but some parts of my life didn't get better.

And some of those parts were my mental health and growing in the Lord, growing in Christ, growing in the church.

I found.

I found there was something missing.

There was something missing.

And I want your listeners to hear me.

I am not pointing fingers at any church, at the Christian faith.

I am a Christian.

I am the church.

I am part of it.

So I'm not pointing fingers, But I just found there was something missing.

There are a lot of people struggling with mental health issues.

I'm not saying mental illnesses.

I'm just saying mental health issues that are in the church, that are sitting in the pews, in the workplaces, in the schools.

But we.

We never touch on the ones in the church because what we're always told is, you know, like, if in my book, it's like, girl, just go pray more, girl, you don't have enough faith.

You must not really, you know, and it just kind of makes you want to hide those issues because you must not be a good Christian if you have depression or sadness or anger issues or, you know, anything.

If you're struggling and you call yourself a Christian, then you must not really be a good Christian.

I think that's where a lot of this stemmed from, with me opening my own practice, because I saw the falsity in it.

I saw.

Is that a word, falsity?

Well, it is now, but it's for us.

But I saw that because I was going through it.

I was going through it, and I. I found, personally, I started going deeper in my depression because of.

I didn't feel I had anywhere to go in the church.

You know, you go.

You can only go so far, and then you start hearing all these things, and it's only from what I'VE come to discover is because the church is not equipped.

Especially small churches.

Small, small churches.

Right.

They don't have a lot of money.

They can't.

They're not equipped to handle it.

And.

And the answer is always the Bible.

And it is.

It is.

It is.

I'm not saying it's not, but in those moments, it's like somebody said to me, I was on a podcast, they said, yeah, it's like telling an anorexic, just go eat a cheeseburger.

Right?

It doesn't work like that.

Just go read your Bible.

Yes, but I still need guidance.

I still need help.

I still need love.

I need words.

I need grace.

I'm gonna jump in just a second because I so believe in what you're saying.

And as someone who has my own relationship with Christ, anyone who's listened to my story or my show will know that I say it all the time.

I find more connection sitting on a beach or in walking through a mountain than I do in any pew that I've ever sat in.

However, when we're talking about mental health, and we're not talking about illness, we're talking about our mental health, if you have a drug addiction, it's visible you know how to get help from that.

If you have alcohol addiction, you know it's visible you have help for that.

If you have a broken arm or a broken leg, it's physical.

People can see it.

They know how to help you.

When you have depression, sadness, anger, anything that's internal behind the mask that you present to society that is going to chip away and eat at you every single day, no matter what you do, until you have the courage and the strength to dig deep enough to not just pull the top off the weed, but dig out the root of what caused that.

And if you don't do that type of internal hard work, you will do like I have for 60 years, go through entire life thinking you're okay, but dragging all your shit with you.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the thing is, when you drag all that with you, it's not just you.

It's those around you suffer as well.

And here's.

You might think you're okay, and a lot of times we know that we're not okay.

We just.

The biggest, biggest poison in our world is our pride.

And pride has a million colors, right?

But it's pride.

And when you're able to pop that cap off, I'm going to warn you, it's painful.

Like, it's no joke.

Some people, oh, yeah, I can help you know, I went to my therapist.

You can go to 10 therapists, you can go to 100 therapists.

But if you're not willing to do the work and actually look within you and stop blaming everybody else for every problem you have, like I knew somewhere in there, yes, I grew up like this.

Yes, this happened to me.

Yes, these people did this to me.

All of these things was done to me.

But then I started mirroring it and doing the same things to myself.

I had to find a place that I had to stop blaming the people who did things to me because now I'm doing it to myself.

That's not on them, that's on me.

And it's very painful.

Yes, we take these generational curses, that's Christianese language, but we take the generations before us and all of the crap they put on us and we go into our, our lives, but it's not their fault anymore.

We have to work through that.

And it's painful.

It's not going to change what happened.

But going forward, I'm the only one who can change it.

I'm the only one who can change me.

I can't change you.

I can't change.

The problem with society is that we are a victim mentality.

It's easier to say everything that happened to me and you are absolutely right.

You know, things happen to us, but what we do with that is our responsibility.

And if we don't fix it, not only do we hemorrhage ourselves, we bleed on those around us.

And the church is a really bad place in personal opinion for people to think that they're going to get the mental health.

Because it's like you said, pray more, read Bible more.

Right.

But what they're not giving themselves is the work to find the grace to overcome all of that.

It's like a band aid to your situation.

Is faith in God and spirituality and connection to a higher self vital?

My opinion, yes.

But is it what fixes it?

No.

One of the pillars in my business is co create, empower and transform.

Right?

We have to co create our life, co create it with our higher being or whatever we deem as our entity.

But if, and I've said this a million times, if I give you a shovel, you're never going to get a hole unless you put your foot to it.

That's right.

So the church and God and spirituality is a path, but unless you do your part, it's a dead end road.

It's well it.

Yeah, we got work out your salvation and I'm sorry to Always sound so Christian.

But I, I do.

I love my Bible, I love my, I love my Jesus.

You should, but it is, we have to work it out.

We, we have to work it out.

Like you said, if you give me a shovel, if I don't put my foot to the ground, nothing's going to happen.

And again, I'm not pointing fingers at the church.

I believe and we are together.

It says we are together, one with another.

It's, we have to also, maybe it's also part of my responsibility and I have taken this responsibility on now that I know, now that I've been doing some self healing, now that I've gotten some education on it, deeper in my relationship with, with the Lord, to educate some of the church leaders.

Because we can't just blame the church.

Church hurt is a real thing.

It's an absolute real thing.

I'm not negating that.

But we just can't blame the church if we're not getting better.

Because though they have a responsibility, they're not always equipped either.

Just like we're not always equipped right off the hop.

Well, that's what happens with our generational thing.

Like we blame our parents, our grandparents, their grandparents, whatever.

But if you look through history, they weren't as equipped and in tuned with real solutions as this generation has access to.

It has never been more open and accepted to find alternative help and talk about it.

Like you, I dare you 25 years ago to come on a show and start talking about this.

Nope.

Or 30 or 50 or 60.

Right.

It doesn't happen.

So it's more open, it's more accepted, it's more discussed.

So there's less of an excuse for not doing the work other than the fact that it's painful.

It's hard.

And you know what?

It causes major change in your life because not only are you going to have to change yourself, you're going to have to change those you associate with.

Those that give you a codependency of, oh, it's okay, you know, they were.

Bad, tell you what you want to hear.

Exactly.

There's a plethora of those.

Yeah.

And so it makes, makes it inexcusable to not do the work other than the fact that it's painful.

And no, neither you nor I is saying this is easy.

No, we're saying it's hard.

It's work, which is a four letter word.

You can say shit, damn, all that stuff.

Everyone's accepting that you say work and they're like, oh, I gotta, I gotta do some work.

No, That's a horrible word.

You know, so if you're not willing to do that, you can't, in my opinion, stand there and remain victim in victim mentality.

No.

And, you know, the first.

This is what I'm noticing, and I'm sure so are you and many others.

The first reaction is anger or negativity.

You go out into the world, go to the street, go to the grocery store.

The first reaction is negativity, anger.

People don't know how to be people with each other anymore.

There's.

It's suspicion right off the bat.

And I'm guilty for that because I'm typically a suspicious person first.

Right.

I'm getting better.

But that's how we are.

And because we just don't want to accept that it's us that might need to be changed.

Yes, they do too, whoever they are, but we can't change them.

We try to change everybody, but doing it to ourselves, that's the last resort.

But here's the thing.

It's not easy.

It's not overnight, but it's doable.

You have to want it.

Now.

Here's another thing.

Point 2.

It doesn't mean your situation is going to change because you.

You change.

And that's something I tell a lot of my clients because they have, and I was in the same spot.

I speak from experience when I. I figured everything was just going to be like a field full of roses or tulips.

Right.

Tip two through the gardens.

Everything's gonna be great.

We can all sing together.

No, it doesn't.

The storm could still be raging around you.

It doesn't mean it's gonna change, but you will.

You'll be able to handle it better, you'll be able to walk through it better and hopefully help somebody else through it.

So it doesn't mean everything's going to change.

It's not going to change overnight, and it's not going to be easy.

Well, that's where I, as a.

As a. I'm not a mental health coach.

I'm a transformational coach.

So we deal in similar veins, but that's where I get, like, positive toxic positivity drives me batty because everything is not rainbows and unicorn farts.

It's still problems that you have to solve and issues that you have to deal with.

But the difference is, is that you know that there's a way and there's hope if you look and work hard enough to find the solution.

That's different than saying, oh, everything's Kumbaya.

Hey, we're all going to get together.

No, your mission is not to be problem free.

Your mission is to grow strong enough to handle bigger problems, to handle it.

Mental resilience, right?

And then turn around and help those who need the help behind you because they're looking to you for that guidance.

And I have not met one person who is legitimately impacting others and helping others that didn't go through some kind of mess themselves.

Every coach that I know has had.

And that's good.

You want somebody who can, can at least empathize with you.

They can't walk in your shoes.

But we can understand in our own, in our own way.

I can't say to you, Darrell, I understand what you're going through because I haven't gone through what you've gone through, maybe similar, but I.

But I can walk along with you with some understanding.

And that's what I love about the coaching industry.

It's people healing from their own traumas, their own wounds, going out and now helping other people.

Sort of like what you do, right?

And it's a beautiful thing.

And I just want to say your background has fire, which I love.

And it just started making me think about.

Most people have some sort of gold or diamonds, right?

They have some sort of jewelry that they wear and they keep it clean, they keep it nice.

Now, with gold, most jewel jewelry, it has to go through this refining process, right?

I'm sure most of you have heard this before, but if not your gold, it goes through a refining process.

It goes through intense, intense heat, fire.

Because it has to take off all those impurities, all the garbage, all the crap.

It has to get rid of that.

Then they come out and they start to shape it and form.

It goes back into the fire again to become refined.

Refined gold.

You must have heard the expression refined gold, refined silver, all those things, right?

That's us.

We have to go through the fire.

We have to get rid of that crap and then go back through the fire again to become more refined.

It's not easy.

It hurts.

Fire hurts.

But in order to become a precious jewel or, you know, find gold, it has to go through the fire.

We're no different.

And the difference too is are you looking for the refinement or are you looking for the fire?

Because you'll find both.

No, so but you go through the fire and get burned up, right?

Or you can go through the fire and get refined.

Exactly.

It depends on what you're there to do.

That's a good one.

What, what we've been talking about reminds me of a story slash joke that I heard many years ago.

Two psychologists wanted to do a little of an experiment.

So they took two young children and put one in a room full of all the nicest toys, all the nicest things, every bit of candy and food and things that they could have, and they put the other little girl in a room full of manure.

And after an hour they went back and they checked on the first little girl who had all the nice things and she was mad and crying and complaining that her stomach hurt from eating so much and the toys were breaking and you know, they shut the door and they said, wow, if she's mad about all the nice things she had, what's this other girl gonna be like?

So they went in the room where the girl was with all the manure and she was in there digging through the manure and happy and laughing and just having it.

And they're like, why are you so happy with this much crap in there?

There's got to be a pony somewhere.

I love it.

It's what we look for, right?

Yeah, I like that.

We're either looking for our pony or we're complaining about, you know, other stuff.

So I think it's.

And again, that, that goes back to your own mental health journey.

And every mental health journey is personal because what we're filtering through is what you know is personal about it.

But are you looking for resolution or are you looking for someone who will say, yes, you're a victim?

It's okay.

I think in our entitled world that we live in today, we're looking more and more for, oh, it's okay.

But I think that's the surface part of it.

Internally, I strongly believe, I have to believe that we want more, we want more from ourselves.

That I mean, mental health issues, mental illnesses, let alone just mental health issues are on an all time rise, all time high.

Right?

We have more, we have more accessibility.

We, I mean, everything is just more at our fingertips than ever before.

And yet, and yet we are still some of the most unhappiest generation.

And why do you think?

Because we have social media, which I put in air quotes, because it's antisocial to me.

So we have social media where you can connect with people all over the world in a heartbeat.

You have instant access via telephone, Facebook, FaceTime, Zoom, where you can connect people all over the world instantaneously.

You have access to more things material wise than ever before.

Yet depression, sadness, anger, entitlement is at an all time high.

What do you feel is Creating what should be the reverse of that.

It should be more joy and happiness because we can better connect, and it's causing less connection and more entitlement.

Where do you think that's coming from?

Well, you said the word instant, and I always have to bring up that word, because everything is instantly available to us.

It's the instant gratification.

Over time, we have become so accustomed to having what we want, when we want, how we want it now, and we're not designed for that.

We used to have to work for things.

We used to have to figure things out.

We used to have to use our own mind, our own strength.

We used to be resilient.

But because everything is instant, nobody goes through the fire.

Nobody goes through the fire.

So that instant gratification, it lowers our ability to concentrate, to think, to.

To problem solve.

And I think that's the biggest problem this social media is.

These everything.

It's designed for a purpose.

Why do you think people in China, when with TikTok and stuff like this, which originated from China, they are banned from everything.

America is not banned.

Look, I'm not talking about communism.

Okay, let's not go there.

But their TikTok isn't designed for instant gratification.

Over in China.

It's designed to help them grow emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, physically, everything.

Positivity.

But not here, not the rest of the world.

It's that instant gratification.

It's that not going through the refiner's fire.

And you have no choice because our.

Our attention span is like a goldfish right now.

It's giving credit to a goldfish because I think.

I think we're three seconds now, right?

So it's.

It's that whole instant.

We don't know how to handle that as human beings.

That's not what we were designed for.

You know, we used to have to go hunt or die.

Now we just sit there behind a screen and order something.

Right?

Like we don't have to work for anything.

I think that's a great point.

Instantaneously.

Also, I find that a lot of people get keyboard courage because if we said or did half the things that people do behind a keyboard, not that I'm advocating violence, but we'd get punched in the face like, oh, yeah, there'd be an instant.

And take the punch in the face out of it.

Most people won't say directly to another person what they will with a screen between them.

Not fear of the harm, just the courtesy and courage.

And courage.

Right.

It's that instant thing too.

Because we don't have anything.

We can't process anymore.

We can't think for ourselves anymore because everything is just so instant.

We can't even learn to hold our tongue anymore.

Because it's instant.

If I think it, it needs to come out right.

And I'm not advocating violence either.

But you know, back in the day, us Gen Xers, you had something to say.

You went up to somebody and you just tapped them on the shoulder and said, hey.

You know, and then you risk getting punched in the face or, you know, a whole gang of them coming at you later.

But you worked it out.

Well, you either went your own way or you.

You're absolutely right.

I mean, I'm 60.

I can't even tell you how many times I've been called out to the backyard after school.

I'm gonna meet you out after school, okay?

Right.

But the other part of that is we used to be able to actually have conversation, disagree with one another.

I didn't have to overshout you.

You didn't have to overshout me.

I wasn't always right.

You weren't always right.

We could have an open discussion and maybe learn something that may or may not change our mind.

The goal wasn't to change the other person's mind, but to provide new information.

And I learned a long time ago the worst thing you can do is believe everything you think.

Yeah.

If you don't have the open mindedness to be wrong and learn a new point of view or even be right and learn a new nuance by somebody else's looking at it.

I say this to my wife all the time.

Five plus three, you know, six plus two, they both get you to eight.

How are we looking at the problem?

And if we're not open to actually learning that.

Okay, Kim, how did you get to five plus four?

Because I got to six plus three.

Where did you get there?

We both got to nine.

But how did you get there?

Like, we can't even have that.

No, it's only going to be six plus three.

Six plus three?

Yeah.

And I'm guilty.

I was like that too.

And in some cases I still am.

I'm learning too, right?

We all.

But we should.

It's true.

And now it's like, if you think differently me differently than me, then you're the evil one.

Like you said, we used to.

You can get there this way or that way.

My whole group of friends growing up was.

We were so different.

I had headbangers, I had jocks, I had, you know, the math People I had the music.

I mean, we were all in a group and we were all so different.

Sometimes we'd all, at night, go hang out in different places, but we can come together during the day and hang out.

And it was okay.

And it was okay.

Yeah.

I didn't have to agree with them.

I didn't.

There was some of them I didn't agree with.

They knew I didn't agree with it, but, you know, either.

You know what?

That's great.

You go, you go believe that over there.

I'm.

You know, I would still help you if you were in pain, but we don't need to be friends.

But you don't have to have violence over it.

Right.

And I don't.

I don't know where I. I studied the human mind and, you know, my background's in psychology.

So I look at all this stuff and I can't officially pinpoint when that switched over to, you're right and I'm wrong versus we just disagree.

Like, I. I still can't pinpoint that, but I hope it swings back to common decency.

I hope so, too.

And I don't want to be a pessimist, but the way the world's going, I don't.

I don't see it any day soon.

And I hope I'm proven wrong.

Please, people, prove me wrong.

Yes, let's prove them wrong.

I mean, we all.

I just want to say, we all go through things.

Every one of us go through things.

We all suffer silently in our bedrooms or our classrooms, in the church pews, in our workplace.

We all suffer silently.

I don't know that there's a need to suffer silently because there's always somebody willing to listen.

But it's us who become prideful and say, I'm not going to burden somebody or they're going to think of me a certain way.

Whatever the reason is that you don't seek it out, it's.

It's not going to get any better.

And as a matter of fact, it's like, take a.

A clothes hamper, a dirty clothes hamper.

Right?

Some people just.

It's right there.

But they throw their clothes on the ground.

They.

They throw their shirts in, they throw their darks in, they throw their whites in.

It's all going into the hamper.

That one piece of clothing that you put at the very bottom of the hamper might have been just something, you know, I didn't feel like wearing this today.

So you throw it in the hamper.

It's not even dirty.

But now you're throwing all your dirty stuff on top of that, guess what happens to that shirt underneath?

It becomes soiled, it smells, it becomes dirty.

And that's what happens to us.

It's like we just keep throwing stuff on it, throwing stuff on it.

That one piece at the bottom, it becomes soiled.

And so we have to keep working out because that inner excellence, that piece of us is really deeply in there.

It is in there and it can come out, it can shine.

We just got to start separating.

We got to start separating the colors, taking them out, doing our laundry, hanging up our clothes when we're done wearing them if they're not dirty, instead of just pile.

Does that make sense?

Absolutely.

No, I totally follow that.

And I'm going to ask you about a couple things that may or may not go into that because, you know, this is our first time meeting, so I don't claim to know everything about you.

First off, I wanted to ask you what's the tattoo on your wrist?

Which.

I didn't get to see that one, but.

Yeah, that.

Both of them.

Yeah, this is.

It's not a very good one.

The cross down here is not very good.

It's the music note.

Heartbeat and the cross.

I love music.

I love worship.

My husband's an artist.

It's the heartbeat and.

And Jesus is my breath.

So I love that.

This one is.

This one is.

I can't see how to do it on this thing.

An M with a heart on the top for my daughter Megan.

It was supposed to be finished, but I didn't finish it.

And now I feel like I'm too old to finish it, so.

You're never too old to finish it.

I also know that you have the Born to Risk book, which is an anthology behind you on the other side.

What was your chapter in that about?

So the chapter in that.

So it's about what risk have you taken?

And I'm a risk taker.

You know my background.

I'm a sc.

But I. I went a different route with this book.

So the chapter, it's on chapter four and the title is what if A Leap of Faith.

Because we always go negative first.

Right?

What if it doesn't work out?

What if this happens?

What if I fail?

What if I get laughed at?

What are people gonna think?

Like, what if.

What if we tend to go negatively?

And during COVID my husband and I were like, millions of us.

Choices were put in front of us and we had to make some pretty quick choices of where we stood and what we were gonna do with that.

And it was scary.

And what if, what if, what if this, what if that?

What if we, you know, all these terrible things, and then we made our decision, we had to stick to it.

Some terrible things did start to happen.

But of course, God makes things, turns them out for our good.

And then through that, my husband and I were like, maybe this is a time for us to go and follow our dreams.

You know, give it a year or two.

We've been blessed.

Now we can.

We can go for at least two years.

Let's follow our dream.

So I went back to school.

He did.

He opened his studio.

I opened my.

My practice.

And the what ifs became, what if I succeed?

What if I can help other people?

What if this is where I'm supposed to go?

What if I'm really good at this?

And it was a real leap of faith.

And that's what we did.

And that's where I want to tell people, like, what if, though?

Why do you go to the negative?

What if I fail?

I have so many dreams, I have so many visions and.

But, you know, what if I do that?

Then this is going to suffer and that.

But what if it doesn't?

What if you start small?

The funny thing about the brain is that you can use the same amount of energy to what if the negative?

And you can do the same amount of energy to what if the positive.

And your brain's job is to make whatever you're saying and thinking be your truth.

So whatever energy you're expending on your what if your brain's job is to make that true.

And it's the same amount of energy for the positive or the negative.

So I'm glad you chose the what if positive side of that.

I also want to ask you about the book that you wrote, the one on the other side of you on the counter there.

Yeah.

And what's that book about?

So this is Silence in the Sanctuary, and it's my latest book, when the mountain hasn't moved and the church won't hear.

So it's a mental health journey when we say the mountain hasn't moved.

Because the Bible tells us if you have faith of a mustard seed, you can tell this mountain to move from here to there.

And so what if that mountain hasn't moved yet?

What if you're suffering mentally like I was?

Because I did.

I truly went through a period a few years ago.

It was deep and it was dark, and it was probably the lowest that I had been since Years, years and years.

It was the lowest I had Been.

And it, it almost was the end of me.

Well, I'll just say that it almost took me out.

Oh, makes me think, right.

And my mountain wasn't moving and my faith wasn't helping me.

I did come to realize that it was my faith.

I did have low faith at the time, but that's not what I needed to hear at the time.

Right.

I didn't need to know that, oh, your faith is, oh, you're just not.

I knew that I needed somebody to come along beside me and say, wow, this is.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, Kim.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

How can I help you?

Can we pray together right now?

Instead of saying to me, I'll pray for you, because we won't.

Life gets in the way.

You know, we might say a quick two minute, then we forget.

Pray for me now.

Come alongside me.

It was a dark time and I had some great experiences with the Lord at that time.

And through my experience, I started listening differently to other people.

My empathy became stronger because I was going through something and I noticed there was a pattern in the church.

And so that's why I wrote that book called Silence in the Sanctuary, because too many people are sitting in the pews.

We don't have pews in my church chairs, but we'll call it pews.

And sitting there going through the same things, struggling, but ashamed and guilt ridden because they're going through these things.

And that's why it's, it's just to talk about a little bit of my own experience, how what we can do and how the church can maybe do something differently and how we who have gone through it can help the church.

You know, it's interesting when I, because I've been a Christian since I was 11, when I, I grew up in a Catholic church and an evangelical church.

And when I got old enough to make my own decision, I decided, you know, to be a Christian.

But I always, for the longest time, prayed incorrectly like it and I behaved incorrectly in my goodness.

I'm going to put goodness in because I always tried to treat people kind and fair and things of that.

But I found as I developed later in years like my mountain wasn't moving and I'm like, I'm praying, I'm asking, I'm doing all these good things.

And I realized I was basically using God as a goodwill atm.

I did all these good things.

Where's my reward?

I helped all these people.

Where's my reward?

And God give me.

God give Me, God, give me.

And I realized that it's not a God, give me.

God help me with my highest and best self, but let me do these good things because they're the right thing, not because there's a reward attached to them.

And that's when my own spiritual transformation deepened and connected.

I stopped using God as an ATM and started using him as my co.

Creator to the life that I wanted to live in honor of Him.

Him.

That's right.

And I heard a pastor or a preacher say once, you know, everyone's waiting on God.

Everyone's waiting on God.

But what if God is waiting on you?

And he is.

And he is.

He will give you more if you can do with little.

Yes.

And he said, it says, he gives us our measure of faith.

He's not going to give us more until we, we use the measure he's given us.

And you know, through that process of my.

It was pretty bad.

It was pretty bad.

And through that process, you know, God is not a puppet.

We're not puppeteers, but we like to use him as a puppeteer.

Right?

Like here, God, we're gonna move your arm this way.

We're gonna.

He's God.

He is the creator.

We just bring him down to our level so much.

And he's God.

He doesn't need me.

He doesn't need me, but he desires me.

And when I came to that realization that he's waiting for me, he's like, kim, I've told you a hundred times, you don't want to listen.

I can't force you.

Just like a parent, right?

I warned you not to put your hand on the stove, but you went and did it anyway.

So that's, that's how I was growing in him.

I'd been a Christian for a few years, like maybe a decade during this time, and I really knew nothing.

I knew nothing.

And going through that, going through that fire, he taught me quite a few lessons about myself, you know, he's given me the instructions and I was just refusing.

I wanted to do it my own way.

I wanted him to give.

I wanted him as my daddy, atm, but I didn't want him as my daddy, you know, the one who loves me so much that he's going to tell me the way it is, you.

Know, and, and yeah, and we, we, you know, we have to rectify in our own brain that, that we do have free will, which means that he is.

If you want to take it back to that parental image, you're going to tell your child, ride your bike but put both hands on this, on the thing.

And if they take their hands off and their bike crashes, you're.

They have to live with the consequences of taking their hands off because you explain to them the safety of keeping the hands on.

That's right.

Their free will pulled their hands off.

Right?

Yeah.

And I can liken it too, to a husband and wife, like, because God is everything.

He's our husband, he's our friend, he's everything.

You know, just because you can doesn't mean you should.

And everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.

So you're married.

You can go do whatever you want, go have an affair.

You know that that's the wrong thing to do.

You know that there's going to be severe consequences.

So if you go do it, that's on you.

Right.

Like it's, it's like that.

We can, we can do whatever we want.

You want to go murder somebody, Go murder somebody.

But just know that there's going to be consequences.

And that's the way we don't, we don't think of that relationship within ourselves, within our, with our God, in our relationship.

And we must, we must, we must know that.

Okay, just because I can, I need to have some mental smarts here.

Let's weigh out the cost.

And I think to answer a part of your question earlier, why, and I talked about the instant gratification, we don't weigh the cost anymore either.

We don't weigh that cost.

And that's with our relationship with God, that's with our relationship with others, and it's with our relationship with ourself.

Why don't we not treat ourselves as importantly as we do some of these other things or people in life.

And I, I equate that to.

I've said this for, for decades, if they allowed murder and robbery to be legal, not everyone would go out and suddenly start murdering robbery.

So you're trying to legislate morality and you can't legislate morality.

The laws aren't there to prevent people from doing them.

The laws are there for the consequences of doing them.

And it's same with the Bible or God.

The laws aren't there to prevent you from doing something.

The laws are there for the consequences if you choose to do something else.

And to show us the law is also there because you can't fix what you don't know is broken.

You don't know until you know.

So if you don't know that, you can't speed down this road.

But then all of a sudden they put a sign up and says, it says 50 kilometers.

Now you know, so now you have no excuse.

So it's not there to just bind us, it's there to help us.

It's there but we become these self centered creatures that.

Right.

Like the law, the Bible, God's word, it's there to show us the consequences and to tell us, okay, this is wrong.

You might not have known it, but now you know, so you don't have an excuse.

Well, this is where we don't like ambiguity because like you said, if it says 50 km, I know you know.

And I heard a cop in, in South Carolina once said, you know, 10 you're fine, or 9 you're fine, 10 you're mine.

So the posted speed limit, they give you a buffer of about nine extra miles.

And on that tenth one, you were going to, you know, get the ticket.

And we can understand that.

But I was driving through Montana several decades ago, in my younger years, and the speed limit sign said whatever is safe and prudent.

And I'm like, well, what is safe and prudent?

Well, let's see what my car can do.

And then I found the number within my car to where it started to shake and vibrate and knew that below that was safe and prudent.

Prudent.

Right for you.

For me.

Right for me.

So the ambiguity was like, well, that's open interpretation.

So we try not to have those ambiguitous moments.

Yeah.

I want to bring up a couple things that, that you have.

You're developing Inner Excellence site and this is your city site.

Can you describe.

I love the logo, by the way.

As a former owner of a graphic design company, I really love the logo.

Can you explain both of these real quick?

So I'll do this Is yous City first because this one here, this is my podcast and when I went back to school, I had to put it on the shelf and I got so busy with opening my practice, just I think it was a week or two ago, I made the decision that I'm going to be bringing this Is yous City back.

It was doing quite well.

What it is, it's.

I interview people from all over the world who have fascinating stories and I know there's a lot of podcasts like that, but it's everywhere in the world we can find people like us.

We're not so different and just amazing stories.

For instance, there's a gentleman in, in England, he's a black ops operator and what his job is was, he's retired now.

Was he's stealth.

He goes into enemy territories to take back children that were stolen.

So stories like that, I mean, fascinating.

A man who spent 16 years in prison for rape and murder of a schoolmate to come 16 years later to be exonerated by DNA.

So stuff like that.

Extremely great stories.

Now, developing the inner excellence.

That's my practice.

That's what I opened.

My mental wellness practice.

My speaking.

I love to speak.

That's my passion.

I did that for many, many years before any of this happened.

I was a speaker international, all around the world.

But developing inner excellence is probably where you'll find me.

Go to that website developing interexcellence.com for workplace mental wellness or one on ones or speaker and author.

And author.

Yes, you're very well.

And chaplain, how does the Kimberly of today differ from the Kimberly of 20 years ago?

That's a good question.

That one allows one per show.

Okay.

That one should have been asked at the first because I could take this whole podcast to answer that.

But I'll.

I'll try to be brief of Kimberly today that's different from Kimberly 20 years ago.

I am the same person, only better.

I. I love me.

I never did.

I love who I am.

I love who God created me to be.

I'm just so grateful that his grace and mercy is allowing me to discover person that he created me to be.

20 years ago.

I was the person I was creating me to be.

I was the.

I was the person my environment was creating me to be.

I owned it.

I was useless.

I was worthless.

I was an addict.

I was not worth the breath to breathe on this planet Earth.

Yet I was fun and bold and all of these other things.

Now I am loved.

I am worthy to be here.

I have been created to be here.

I am still bold and exciting and fun and all of these amazing things.

And I'm still discovering who I am, but down to the core of me as I've been for.

Actually, I shouldn't say, because 20 years ago, I was not an addict.

I have not been an addict for almost 30, so I can't say that.

But 20 years ago, you know what?

I went far too.

I went back too far to say that I was all those things because that was more than 25 years ago that I was all those things.

20 years ago is when I.

22 years ago is when I started changing.

Thanks be to God and my daughter.

How long have you been married?

13 years.

13.

But I have a daughter.

She's 22.

She'll be 23 in November.

And that's when my life really started to change.

Something clicked inside of me and I just knew that it wasn't about me anymore.

And that's the key.

You, you, you were starting to live your life for something else, not just you.

And that, yeah, that tends to flip a switch in many people, you know, when it's not about ourselves anymore.

Which is why giving back and helping and helping those behind you is so important.

Because your life then no longer becomes about you and you get yourself out of that victim mentality and you start helping others to do the same.

So I think that's kind of vital given your life of addiction, your transformation into who you are today, your child, your marriage.

What do you want your legacy to be?

What do I want my legacy to be?

I guess, I mean, that's, that's actually a difficult question.

It should be easy.

Maybe it's easy, maybe it's not.

But I really just want to be known for somebody who really loved the Lord, really loved the Lord's people, and did my best to, to live out his commands in me, which is to go love others.

He said to love him and love thy neighbor.

Right.

Never mind everything else, because everything falls into that.

I want to be known as somebody who loved.

That's what I, I know that sounds really corny, but really not, especially in today's society.

I mean, you would be hard pressed to find people who say she loved or he loved in today's world.

So it's not really corny.

I think it's a admirable goal to wanna, to be known as.

I mean, I want my daughter to know that you have to work hard.

If you want something, go get it.

Take a risk.

Count the cost before you take the risk, but take a risk.

Take a risk.

But you know, I just want, when I say I want everybody to know that I, they're loved or that I loved, it's because everybody's worthy of being loved.

It doesn't matter if you're Muslim, Hindu, Christian.

It doesn't matter if you're gay, you're straight, you're black, you're white.

I don't even know why these things are an issue.

Are some of them wrong?

In, in my opinion we can do things that are not right, that go against scripture.

But Jesus told us to love, to love, go love, go out into the world, preach the gospel and love.

I'll tell you what you do with it is your choice.

That's not going to make me stop loving you, right?

And so you're Worthy.

You have worthiness within you.

Everything you have to be successful.

And I'm not just talking about millions in your bank.

I'm talking about with your.

Your body, your mind, you have within you, you have it.

And it's.

It's.

You're worthy of it coming out.

So if you're sitting there listening to this, this episode right here, and you're like, yeah, but.

Yeah, but.

There's no but.

Yeah, but surround yourself with people who help you, let and help you grow in knowing this.

If everybody around you is saying the exact opposite, my friend, please, please love yourself a little bit more to distance.

Sometimes you can't because they're immediate family, but love yourself.

You are worthy.

You are loved.

Find somebody.

I'm here.

Darryl's here.

Let's talk.

And I.

And I.

It drives my wife and I crazy.

Everybody wants a label.

And it's like, well, the only label we should have is human being, because we all are.

And all of the labels don't change our blood, and they don't change our breath, and they don't change our existence.

So.

I'll let the Holy Spirit do what the Holy Spirit needs to do, and I'll just do what he asked me to do.

And this is what I want to.

I want to say, and I don't know if this is ending it or if this is not ending it, but I want to say, God so loved the world.

God so loved the world while we were yet sinners, he died for us.

And I want to put that together for those who are listening that are not Christians and may not know what the heck I'm talking about.

When God said he loved the world as every single human being on the planet, Jews and Gentiles.

Gentiles are every single person that's not a Jew.

He died.

Yet while we were sinners, we weren't perfect.

We were doing wrong.

We were hurting him, we were hurting each other, we were hurting ourselves.

And yet he still died for us.

And so all of these things, all of these things that's going on in the world, he died for the world while we were yet these horrible people, because we are, and he still loves us.

And I'll let the Holy Spirit condemn.

I'm going to love.

And that will lead me into the last question.

What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Kimberly Wardell?

Overcoming.

I am a warrior.

And when I saw the title of your podcast, it almost brought tears to my eyes, because I am a warrior.

I have survived so many things that not I'm not a victim anymore.

I used to have that victim mentality.

Sometimes I still do.

But I am a warrior.

I have overcome.

I fight.

I fight for what is right.

And it gets me in a lot of trouble because I fight for justice.

And even my friends get mad at me.

But I am a warrior.

Warrior spirit is that you can overcome.

You fight and you overcome.

Put yourself through the fire, no fun.

But you become stronger, you become a warrior, and you can war on.

I war for other people, too.

And I think a good part to what you just said, because it's beautiful, is in that a warrior knows when to put the sword down and when to pick it up.

Yes.

And I think you do that really, really well.

So thank you for, you know, coming on the show and sharing this time with me and your experience.

And anytime it's an open door policy you want to come on and have further discussion, it's here for you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for having me.

And if you'd like to connect with Kimberly, you can do so at her developinginterel excellence.com website or you can catch her podcast, thisisyourcity ca and you can also catch her on our social platforms, Facebook and her Facebook group for her website.

Thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as Roku via the Prospera TV app.

So be sure to like or subscribe to catch all the episode.

And as always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

It's how we rise from it.