Sex Spoken Here: Sexless Relationships Part 2

Welcome to my virtual therapy room!  I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.

Today I am continuing my series on sexless relationships.  Last week I was joined by Dr Zoe Shaw.  If you didn’t hear that one, go check it out.  This week I am joined by Dr Jane Guyn is a best selling author of "Too Busy to Get Busy - How to Fix Your (Almost) Sexless Relationship" - a practical book for couples who want to go deeper in their relationship, even if it's been a rocky road. She is the creator of the research based BEDROOM™ approach to increasing pleasure and satisfaction using 7 simple steps.

Jane Guyn is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, Professional Sex Coach, Core Energy Coach and registered nurse. She is also trained as a family planning nurse practitioner. She coaches individuals and couples who are ready to have the loving, passionate relationship they’ve always imagined. Jane has been passionately married for over 30 years. She lives in the beautiful mountain town of Bend, Oregon.

We started by talking about the numbers of sexless relationships.  Jane told us that a sexless relationship is defined as having sex 6 or less times per year and that 40% of cohabiting and 30% of married couples live in sexless relationships.  We talked about the lack of education that adds to creating this situation and the fact that people don’t learn to communicate about desire and their expectations are often so low that these issues are swept under the carpet.

We spoke of the taboo of talking about lack of libido and other sexual problems and the fact that people have no idea where to go for help.  We agreed that intensive work (Jane offers a VIP day for couples like I do) is often better because you make more progress quickly.  Jane highlighted the fact that there is a small window of hope and that if a couple doesn’t make progress quickly enough that window can close.

Jane spoke briefly about her BEDROOMÔ model briefly as a model that starts with the head to help people make sense of the issues they are encountering and then move from the head to the feelings and the body to solve the issues.   B is for barriers and she says that this is the place to start – looking at various barriers people have to having the sex life they desire.

We spoke about the fact that desire has no age limit and that there are no limits on sexual activity either.  She told the story of a couple in their 80’s where the woman got a broken hip during intercourse.  We spoke about the false ideas people have about sex after the age of 50.  We spoke about the communication and negotiation problems even people in the beginning of their sexual lives have because of not learning how to talk about emotions and to communicate with connection.

Jane has a 5 module course for women to help them create the sexual lives they desire that is starting now.  The course includes private group coaching and videos and can be found here.

You can find Dr Jane Guyn at

Website: www.jayneguyn.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/drjayneguyn

Twitter: @pleasure_plan

Thanks for joining me for Sex Spoken Here with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drbisbey@the-intimacy-coach.com, follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook..  Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.  For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to www.the-intimacy-coach.com and click the button that says Schedule Now!   Please leave a review on iTunes and stitcher.  I look forward to seeing you next week.