What are the traits of an awakened woman? What do we do when men become defensive, and how can we take responsibility for our own shadows?

This is a compilation of highlights from three previous podcast episodes all about the awakened feminine. This is a great reminder for both men and women who want to deepen their understanding of the awakened feminine and how it can positively impact their relationships and personal growth.

Explore these episodes in full

• The four traits of the Awakened Feminine – Episode 77
• The Woman with the Father Wound & the Man with the Unworthiness Wound – Episode 80
• Why Men Get Defensive – Episode 85

Mentioned in this episode:

The Deep Polarity Program
An 8-week immersive journey to unlock the deepest intimacy through masculine & feminine dynamics.

There won't be any new episodes for the next

three to four weeks, and we'll continue Perus in

October with our biweekly new powerful episodes.

But as we have been talking a lot about the awakened

masculine, the awakened feminine, and of course

masculine feminine dynamics, I want to share with you some

highlights of my previous episodes over the years.

In this episode, we're focusing on highlights

about the awakened feminine.

What are the traits of an awakened woman?

How does an awakened woman show up in relationship?

And what is the path of awakening for a woman to

truly connect with her awakened feminine essence?

Today's highlights will give deep answers for

both women and men.

Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.

My name is Loren Krenn, and I'm a relationship coach.

I help you to embody your awakened masculine

and awakened feminine in relationships and life.

Let's dive into the first trait here of

the awakened feminine.

Number one, the awakened feminine doesn't

talk bad about men.

She has a deep respect for the awakened masculine or for men

who are stepping up and doing the work who are awakening.

She doesn't feed the narrative of limiting narratives that

contribute to a wounded relationship with the

masculine and limit her from drawing an awaken or

attracting, awaken men in her life, or, or inviting, evoking

the deepest masculine gifts of the man she's currently with.

Trait number two, she prioritizes her oracle, her

heart, above all things.

She doesn't allow the need for validation to

override her deeper impulse, the deeper intelligence

that moves through her, which is her greatest

medicine to the world.

Trait number three, she embodies both dark and

light feminine energy.

She embodies her dark feminine, her Kali, her

wild woman expression, unapologetically.

Even if it's challenging, even if it means that she

risks losing connection.

And the fourth trait is she takes responsibility

for her shadow.

She's always working on seeing whether, is this

coming from my shadow?

Is this coming from a truthful heart, heart space?

My oracle?

Or is this coming from my shadow?

And when it comes from her shadow, she will take

responsibility, which in turn will create deeper connection

and deeper polarity and deep respect and honoring

towards the masculine.

When the woman is looking for a sense of safety that

a man cannot give her, when you want him to hold space,

be there for you no matter what, only what a father

will do, the key here is that you need to cultivate some

sense of safety within you.

You need to heal your father wounds.

Otherwise, he will be the person to blame for

your lack of safety.

And yes, it is important for him to create safety,

but for you, every person needs to create some level

of safety in their own body.

And if you have never received that, which comes

from a father wound, a, a lack of safety in our own

body, and if you don't work through that, then you are

going to blame him for your lack of safety in general.

Not in the relationship, but in general, as a

person, as a woman.

And of course that is not going to work, because

we have to walk our own path of healing and we

cannot expect someone else to give us something

that only we can create.

Yes, he can create safety for you in the relationship,

but he cannot create a sense of safety inside yourself if

you have never experienced that inside yourself, apart

from a relationship before.

Unless you are open to that and you are taking ownership

of that shadow and you are voicing that consciously, then

of course you are letting him into your heart, and then of

course that is a possibility.

Nothing is black and white.

And also spirituality can become an escape here.

There is a huge trap that both men and women in this

dynamic can fall into.

So as a woman, you fall into the dynamic

of okay, the divine masculine creates safety.

And there is then this dynamic of, okay, he needs to

create safety and, and, and he's just not doing enough,

and he's not doing this enough and not dead enough.

And your wound, your shadow can use this to

keep feeding these wounds.

So nothing he ever does is enough.

Just like the experience with your father.

He disappointed you, and now you subconsciously

recreate that experience.

You set him up for failure.

No matter what he does, it is not enough.

And even if he shows up, then he's going against his

own truth, which is also not, of course, what you

desire at the deepest level.

So there can be a trap that, the feminine desired

safety or hold that he holds space no matter what.

And the trap that the masculine falls into is

trying to become this ideal, trying to become this perfect

knight in shining armor, trying to be this perfect,

awakened masculine man.

The hero who heals your father wound Just by how

powerfully he shows up.

And that of course, doesn't work.

We can do a lot for our partner.

We can show up really powerfully.

But we all have to do our own work and have

to take responsibility for our own things.

So very, very important that the spirituality and the

dynamics, the shadow loves to use spirituality in order

to keep feeding itself.

The shadow loves to use these things in order

to feed the wounds.

Very important to be aware.

The teaching needs to be embodied at a deeper

level and not be used in the name of the shadow.

Now, in order to shift this dynamic, the first thing to

be aware of is that there is a lot of blaming going on.

The man blames the woman, ah, she with her daddy issues.

The woman blames the man.

Ah, he's just not man enough.

He's not stepping up.

No, you have to take responsibility for

your part in it.

Blaming the other party is neglecting your responsibility

and saying they are responsible for the dynamic.

You are in the dynamic, which means you are 50% responsible

for this dynamic as well.

The first, there are exceptions to this, by

the way, but usually in a dynamic like this, 50 50.

Now, as a woman, the most important thing is that you

become aware when you are demanding the impossible.

When your desire for safety and for him to hold space for

you is coming from a place of wounding, is coming from

your shadow and not from your wise feminine heart

and not from your oracle.

How do you notice this?

I'll give you a quick tip here.

For instance, when no matter what he does, you only get

more frustrated even if he shows up powerfully, even

if he really is there.

But.

It's never enough, and you get more frustrated and

more angry and you project your shadow more on him,

that is a surefire sign that you are coming from

your shadow and you are not coming from your oracle.

Because if you come from your orca, then if

he shows up a somatic experience of a relaxation,

a sense of softening will arise within your body.

Because he is stepping up.

He's stepping, he's onboarding his awakened masculine

core, and now you relax deeper into your awakened

feminine essence, into your, into your divine nature.

And this is the dance of intimacy.

But coming from your shadow and demanding the impossible

is not the dance of intimacy.

And again, the shadow loves to use this, right?

The shadow loves to use this.

So ask yourself, where am I coming from?

If you notice yourself just getting more agitated,

more agitated, then you most likely are coming

from a place of shadow.

But please be mindful.

Don't go into the other extreme here.

Where you now disconnect from the part inside you

that desire safety and for him to hold space for you.

Because some women might now start to, when they do this

work, they go into place of doubt in a sense of, oh,

what if it's all my shadow?

What if it's all my shadow?

But no, of course there is a natural desire.

It's just hijacked by the shadow.

So it's not about getting rid of that desire.

It's not about Now you going into being a pleaser and, and

not expressing your desires.

The work is becoming aware of where you are

coming from and when you.

When you are aware, when you see that you're

coming from your shadow, then take ownership.

When a man gets defensive, the woman can have that

sense of he's resisting me.

He doesn't care about me, he doesn't love me.

An example here would be he goes out with his friends

and he promised that he'll be back by a certain time,

and you being able to have your, your evening together.

And he, he didn't reach out to you and he says, oh God,

I totally forgot, uh, had a good time with my, with

my brothers, whatever, and I totally forgot about it.

So sorry.

In your, in your anger, for feeling neglected

and not cared of, you say You are so selfish.

And he might say to you, well, but okay, maybe

I was selfish here.

What about yesterday?

What about this thing I did?

What about x y z?

I, I always do this for you and this and that.

Now, now, how can you say that I'm selfish?

You see, men, we men, we see this in a different way.

When I would say to a brother of mine, You

are fucking selfish, or You are really selfish.

Then, um, I'm speaking about his characteristic.

That is, that is quite a brutal, brutal way of speaking

it, where the feminine often just voices, um, in

that moment how she feels.

So for you as a woman, it's important to be mindful.

Instead of saying, you are so selfish, I invite you to say

That was very selfish of you.

Or that action felt really selfish to me, boom, there

is a huge difference in you never care about me in really

when you did that, it, I felt like you didn't care about me.

Because it didn't even bother to reach out.

It makes a huge difference.

You can still voice your highest truth in that moment,

but instead you separate the action from his character

and you focus on the action.

Because in that moment, especially when a man is a

little bit more conscious and is working on himself, he will

be much more receptive and be like, yes, you are right.

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