The primary focus of today's discourse centers on the critical subject of boundaries, encapsulating their significance and the methodologies for establishing them effectively in various facets of life. We delve into the essence of boundaries, exploring their definition, various types, and the techniques that individuals may employ to implement them in their personal and interpersonal realms. This topic resonates deeply with us, particularly as we reflect on the journeys we have undertaken, wherein the comprehension of boundaries has proven indispensable in navigating relationships, whether they are familial, spiritual, or social in nature. We aim to elucidate why the establishment of these boundaries is paramount, as they serve not merely as barriers, but rather as frameworks that facilitate healthier interactions and self-preservation. Join us as we share insights and experiences that underscore the transformative power of boundaries in our lives, and encourage a more profound understanding of their role in fostering well-being.
Takeaways:
The discussion revolves around the significance of establishing boundaries in various aspects of life.
Understanding boundaries is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships with others.
Boundaries serve as a protective measure, preventing individuals from being overwhelmed by external influences.
The podcast delineates seven distinct types of boundaries essential for holistic well-being and self-management.
A lot of things have been going on since the last time we chopped it up.
Speaker A:
You know, Rafiki, you.
Speaker A:
You went through some things since the last time we chopped it up, right?
Speaker C:
I think we all had.
Speaker A:
Well, well, well, some of the things that.
Speaker A:
That kind of really, really pushed him to.
Speaker A:
To have this conversation.
Speaker A:
And what is that, Rafiki?
Speaker A:
What are we going to talk about tonight?
Speaker B:
We're going to be talking about boundaries and how to actually set them up, how to get them lined up.
Speaker B:
We're gonna go through the definition and several different types and different techniques that people can use.
Speaker B:
And, you know, I'm just gonna shoot a couple gems out there to them.
Speaker A:
All right, well, before you shoot those gems out there, Rafiki, I have a question for you.
Speaker B:
What's that?
Speaker A:
Why is this topic important to you?
Speaker B:
Due to the simple fact that I had to actually learn to set boundaries and had to really grab a hold of why boundaries are important in our journey.
Speaker B:
Rather it be a religious journey, rather it be a spiritual journey, or rather it be with just friendships in general.
Speaker B:
You know, people just don't understand that, you know, boundaries are highly important and you must set
Speaker A:
how long it took you.
Speaker A:
You know, how they doing that tick tock thing.
Speaker A:
They say, I was this age when I learned about boundaries.
Speaker A:
Yeah, I was today years old.
Speaker B:
I've.
Speaker B:
I've always knew about boundaries, but I never really dug into it like I did this time because, you know, I'm.
Speaker B:
I'm just trying to get my journey lined up with the universe.
Speaker B:
And I feel boundaries is one of the first basic steps of getting yourself there.
Speaker B:
Because a lot of people, they talk a good game, but when it comes down to it, they don't set the boundaries.
Speaker B:
They let people walk all over them.
Speaker B:
They let people do whatever they want.
Speaker B:
Me highly.
Speaker B:
I can use myself for examples, please.
Speaker B:
You know, before when I used to go to my families or whatever or, you know, I would always leave up out of there discouraged.
Speaker B:
And I never understood why until I actually dug into boundaries themselves.
Speaker B:
And I have realized that me going into this, I have learned that I can actually go into the lion's den and come out unescaped.
Speaker B:
Like, you know, I just recently done that.
Speaker B:
And you say how?
Speaker B:
Well, I set a boundary with myself before I left.
Speaker B:
I said, no matter what happens, I'm not going to get into argument.
Speaker B:
And I'm not going to feed into it.
Speaker B:
So I set that boundary and when I went, went there, everything went smoothly.
Speaker B:
Although I felt the firing darts, but I didn't feed into it like I used to before.
Speaker A:
And so at that moment you, at that moment did you say damn, there's something to this boundary thing?
Speaker B:
Oh, most definitely, most definitely.
Speaker B:
Because you know, I, I guess right now would be a perfect time to just go ahead and, and give the description of what boundaries are and healthy boundaries.
Speaker A:
Well, before you go there, I was gonna say mental.
Speaker A:
When boundaries.
Speaker A:
When, when you hear the word boundaries, what's the first thing that come to your mind?
Speaker C:
When I hear boundaries,
Speaker A:
one of the
Speaker C:
things I mean is different things that first pop off but like, like playing a game and you know, going out of bounds and stay within, stay within those two sides or however many sides before going out of bounds.
Speaker C:
And when it comes to me, don't, don't cross them.
Speaker A:
Do you think, do you think you've exercised
Speaker C:
others boundaries or, or my boundaries?
Speaker C:
Yes, I think I exercise boundaries.
Speaker C:
I would like to think so.
Speaker A:
Well, let's find out.
Speaker A:
Rafiki, what is actually is a boundary?
Speaker B:
Well, a boundary itself is a line that is that, that is marked.
Speaker B:
The limits are of an area, a dividing line.
Speaker B:
Turn it over here.
Speaker B:
Personal boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves within.
Speaker B:
Within relationship.
Speaker A:
You said rules that we set with inside a relationship is personal boundaries.
Speaker B:
Yeah, for ourselves we said.
Speaker B:
Right.
Speaker B:
For ourselves we set boundaries.
Speaker A:
Okay,
Speaker B:
so you know, a person with healthy boundaries can say no to others when need to be, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up for a close relationship.
Speaker B:
So when we set these boundaries, we are opening ourselves up to the other person to have a close relationship with them.
Speaker A:
Wait, what I just heard is some people may think oh, if I put boundaries up, nobody can get in.
Speaker B:
Right.
Speaker A:
But, and, and, and but what I just heard you say is opposite of that actually.
Speaker B:
Exactly.
Speaker A:
Having boundaries, you can't allow people to
Speaker B:
come into your, your space.
Speaker A:
Space.
Speaker B:
Exactly.
Speaker B:
And there's actually seven different types of boundaries that you may need in life.
Speaker B:
One is physical, another one is your emotions and or your mental state.
Speaker B:
The third one is the spiritual or religious beliefs.
Speaker B:
You can also set one for financial and materialistic things in life.
