108. Promoting Student Self-Discovery

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host.

I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Carol: Hey there counselor friends. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat.

Here we're going to be tackling some school counseling challenges with a little heart humor and an extra strength cup of coffee. I'm Carol Miller, your host and today we're diving into one of my absolute favorite topics and that's promoting self discovery.

And I'm not talking about the wander into the forest and find yourself kind of way, though let's be honest, a peaceful cabin with no wi fi really does sound pretty appealing right about now.

But really what we're talking about is guiding students to discover who they are. I mean, their strengths, their interests, and their passions, and then helping them channel all that goodness into goals that actually matter to them.

So how do we do that in a world where half our students are thinking about what's for lunch and the other half are stuck in a kind of a TikTok trance?

Well, stick around, my friends, because we have some strategies, some stories, and a few laughs coming your way.

So you might be thinking, why does self discovery really matter in the first place? I mean, they're young. They're not supposed to know what it is they want to do with their future.

Heck, they're not even supposed to know, like everything there is to know about themselves right now because they're in the process of learning about who they are.

But let's start with the obvious. Kids don't always know who they are. Heck, let's face it, some adults, they don't know either.

And you might be thinking, yeah, I'm looking at you, the person who only just discovered that they Love Pottery after 15 years of,

I don't know, just being a school counselor. But seriously, self discovery is the foundation of everything we want our students to build. In fact, I think it's one of the reasons why I became a school counselor in the first place.

I was entranced when I first started looking at school counseling as to really helping students find their purpose, find what mattered to them, and Helping them, guide them to finding the college that would lead them on their way.

Because it was that person when I was in college that really made a difference in my life. I mean, I thought I was all about the blood and the guts and the healing people and going into medicine, that I didn't really know everything there was to know about who I am.

With some advice,

I got involved in some activities and some groups. And it's from there and those experiences that I think I found really what mattered most to me. Because when I tell you when I was thinking about the ambulance squad and joining that and knowing that, hey, I might be getting calls at 3:00 in the morning,

that wasn't what really interested me at all. No, I did not want that kind of lifestyle.

But self discovery, my friends, it's really the foundation of everything. We want our students to build confidence, purpose, resilience, motivation. Because let's face it, when kids know what they're good at and what they enjoy, they stop floating around and they start driving their own ship,

even if they're still trying to figure out which direction is north.

And let's not forget, it's hard to set really meaningful goals if you don't know what makes your heart light up or what you're naturally great at.

So let's help our students figure that out. I have a couple fun activities for you to try with them so that they can figure out what lights them up.

All right, let's talk about strengths. Not just you're really smart or you are great at math strengths. I'm talking about the whole person package. Empathy, leadership, humor, creativity, persistence.

Because when kids know their strengths, they're able to recognize the strengths that different professions or professionals have, and they can start to see those qualities in themselves.

And that's what we want them to do. We want them to try to match all the pieces of the puzzle together.

So here's a couple things that I like to do to help students really spot their own strengths. The first is to do a strengths scavenger hunt. Maybe give students a list of character strengths and then challenging them to identify at least three they've used in the past week.

Then share out in partners or small groups.

And if you're like me and you're doing this in a group, you might have some candy for participation.

Is that bribery?

No, it's just a motivational incentive always.

So don't be afraid to give them a little bribe if needed,

because it is a scavenger hunt and everyone likes to win a prize at the end.

There's also compliment tag in small groups. You could have students write anonymous compliments or strengths shout outs for their peers.

Something like, you always include others or you're brave enough to speak your mind. And I try to encourage these type of compliments rather than the oh, your shirt looks really great on you today or I like how you styled your hair.

I mean, those compliments are really awesome too. But re really want to focus in on their strengths.

So encourage the have a conversation about what different strengths are values and then have them do a compliment tag and write those out to their peers.

Another thing that I like to do with this, if it's because sometimes cutting out all those strips of paper, I just don't have time for all of that. So what I have done in the past too is I've invited one kid at a time to sit in a chair in front of the whiteboard.

And then I have each of their peers come up and they will add those compliments around kind of their the outline of their body. Like we leave them sitting there.

We leave a little space so kids can get behind them. But I encourage them not to write in the the white space that would be where their body is so that we can see all those compliments kind of around or coming around the person.

Once the kids are all done writing, I usually have them go back to their seats and then I like to take a photo of the person in the chair with all the compliments behind them, kind of as a souvenir for them.

And after I take that photo, then I invite them to stand up, turn around, and to look at what their peers said. And if you want to cue the heart melt and the I didn't know people saw that in me aces that you were going to get, you're going to love this activity because it really is.

It's one of my favorites to do with kids.

You could also create counselor super power cards in this. You just want to create cards with different strengths listed and have students choose the ones that match them best. Then you can have them decorate maybe their own little superpower badge and share their favorites.

Because let's face it, everyone secretly wants to be a superhero, and now they are one. So think of this as the little baseball trading cards that you used to get when you were little.

Well, you're just going to create your own version of this, but it's going to be a superpower card of the kids and their strengths.

Now, after you help them to identify their strengths, you really want to start looking at Their passions and their interest.

You want to tap into what lights them up inside. And here is where we move from what are you good at? To what makes you feel alive.

And this part is fun. And sometimes it's often surprising because sometimes the quietest student in your class has a secret dream to be a marine biologist or start a sneaker business.

And here's how to help them uncover it. I like to start with something that I call the perfect day activity. And here's where we ask students to describe their perfect day.

Not just what they're doing, but how they feel doing it.

Then you're going to help them connect the dots.

If you're working with older kids, like high schoolers, I have used this activity too. With their perfect day on campus.

What are they doing? What are they looking at? And this can really help them choose which campus that they visited is their best fit. But the perfect day activity.

So here's where we look at. Oh, maybe they love playing outside or maybe they loved helping others.

And once we have their perfect day and the things that they really loved and what made them feel so good, we start to connect the dots.

They love playing outside.

Maybe they're nature smart people,

maybe they're kinesthetic learners. If they loved helping others,

maybe it's a future school counselor or a teacher.

But you're going to help them connect those dots.

Another thing to do with them is an interest inventories. But you want to make them fun. You can use an online tool like the Career one Stop interest assessment or a paper pencil one.

I have one that I do with kids with my fifth graders and that's in my on TPT in my career fifth grade career lesson. Or you can even create a hands on card sort game.

And you can ask some questions like what's something you could talk about for hours? Or if you had your own YouTube channel, what would it be about? And if you're working with elementary kids asking about if you had your own YouTube channel, what would it be about?

I know the answer you're going to get probably has to do with video gaming.

But these are things that are still going to help us figure out what gets kids excited, what turns them on,

where can we find what motivates them?

And last but not least,

not only do we want to ask them what they love and what lights them up, but we also want to ask what do you know you don't want to do?

Or what annoys you? Because here's a weird trick. When you ask students what frustrates them or what they don't like,

you're going to maybe get some surprised looks. And why do I do this? Because passion and purpose, they often hide behind pet peeves.

So if a student says I hate seeing animals mistreated, boom. They care about advocacy. And if they say, ugh, I really hate working with Legos, well, maybe you want to cross engineer off their list.

That's purpose, my friends in disguise.

And once students know what they're good at and what they love, it's time to help them dream forward. This is where we move from discovery to direction and we set some real goals.

But let's be real, goal setting needs to feel less like a worksheet and more like a vision board with a to do list.

So I want you to try this,

try some smart goals, but with flair. Turning those boring goals like I want to do better in math. And two, I want to raise my math grade from a C to a B by reviewing homework with a friend twice a week.

You see how we added a little fun to that goal. We had them doing it with a friend who's, let's face it, sometimes when we do things with other people, it makes it easier to achieve our goal and add some flair by to this.

Also by having students create a mini goal poster or decorate a goal card that they're going to keep in their folder, you want to give them that visual reminder of that goal as well.

Because those things tend to tend to stick. And when kids see goes back into their mind reinforces that purpose, that passion, and it helps drive that goal to fruition.

Another fun thing to do with the kids in this department is some future me letters. And I know that some of you have have done this before,

but you want to have students write a letter to their future self about where they're going to hope to be in five or 10 years. Now here is the thing.

You get bonus points my friends, if you seal it and hand it back during 8th grade graduation or a senior send off. Because what kid doesn't like to see what they wrote way back when?

You could also have some counselor coaching sessions. I like to hold these five minute mini meetings to help students really review their goal and to set the next step. And I also use, I keep a stack of post it notes for us for this, but I use my little sticky notes for those next steps because it feels informal,

it's doable and it's like something that they can actually accomplish. And when they walk away with their little sticky note, I see those, I see them in Their folders, on their desks, in their lockers.

So those little mini meetings, they have a big impact.

And now my friends, here's some encouragement for you because let's be real for a second. Self discovery,

it's messy and you might have a student say that they want to be a lawyer one week and the next they're laser focused on becoming a llama farmer or they want to be a YouTube chef.

And that's okay. Your job isn't to hand them a roadmap, it's really just to give them the tools to explore, to reflect and to dream big.

I know I've talked about this before, but you are planting the seeds and sometimes you won't see the growth right away.

But my friends, the roots,

they're there.

So let's recap. You wanna when you are building this self discovery in your kiddos, you wanna start with the strength spotting. You have to build that confidence within them. Then you wanna dig into their interests and their passions, what gets them excited.

And then channel all that self discovery into goals that have meaning, not just checkboxes.

And remember, you don't need all the answers,

you just need to ask the right questions and to be a safe place where students can wonder, dream and imagine who they're becoming.

My friends, I want to thank you for joining me today on Counselor Chat. If you found this episode helpful, I would love if you would share it with a counselor friend who's helping their kids find their sparkle as well.

And until next time, keep inspiring discovery one student at a time. And as always, I hope you have a great week. Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player.

And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it. Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram @counselingessentials. Until next time.

Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.

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