Try to let go of a thought right now. Really try. It is still there, and now you are annoyed about it as well.

About 16 minutes, a short talk then a meditation.

Letting go asks you to hold the thing in mind so you can check whether you have dropped it. It is do not think of a red bus, every time. Acceptance says something else. This is here, I see you, you can stay. The struggle was the fuel. Take the struggle away and what is left is just what is.

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Thank you for sitting with me.

Steven

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Welcome to The Open Hand. A different way of letting go.

I'm Steven Webb. And Just allow yourself to become comfortable.

Allow your body to settle in.

You can sit, lie down or whatever your body feels like right now.

And I want you to stay quite alert if possible.

There's no perfect position for this.

And your body knows how to relax, if we just allow the body to relax.

Allow your shoulders

and your arms and your fingers.

And while you're allowing the body to relax, just become aware of your breath.

Breathing in calm,

breathing out relaxed.

You don't need to do anything with your breath.

Your body's got all that in hand.

Just the same as relaxing when we allow the body to do it.

Our only job right now is to be aware of what's happening.

Where are my voice.

Aware of the room.

Aware of your muscles relaxing.

Just aware that your whole body and your breath is slowly relaxing and slowing down.

And it's doing it all naturally.

You can gently close your eyes if you haven't done already. Or just soften your gaze a few feet in

front of you.

And just before we move into the actual practice,

I just want to talk a little bit, a little Dharma talk about the difference between acceptance and letting go.

But

we just treat this as a intro to the meditation.

So just be aware of what I'm saying and your breath. And

there's a phrase that comes up in meditation and in life. Let go. Let go of your thoughts.

Let go of your worries. Let go of your tension. And I've used it myself in some of the teaching.

But

today I want to explore something a little different with you.

Because I think there's a more honest and more helpful way to find this peace that many of us are

longing for in this crazy busy world.

And here's what I've noticed, both in my own practice and working with many others. When someone tells you that

you've got to let go of something, what actually happens in your mind?

Your brain has to grab hold of it first.

And the one thing you want to do is get rid of it. But we have to bring it to

mind. It

has to be located. It has to be focused on.

And when we wonder whether we let go or something we have to bring it back into focus to see

if we've stopped thinking about it.

It's a bit like telling someone, whatever you do, don't think of a red balloon.

There you go.

So let's try a small experiment together. Right

now I want you to think of something that's been on your mind recently. It

doesn't have to be the biggest thing in your life to let go. Just something that's been niggling you. A

worry or confusion A

conversation that didn't go well perhaps. Something quite unresolved.

So when you've got it, good. Now I want you to try to let it go. Push it away. Tell

yourself I'm letting go of this thought. Really try. Put some effort into it.

Force it out your mind completely.

Has it gone?

So how did that go? And

if you're like most people, the thought is still there. We have to check in to see whether the thought's

gone and maybe even more vivid than even before.

The subconscious mind and the body now thinks it's even more important.

And now there's a second layer on top of it. The frustration of not being able to get rid of

it. You try to let go.

We've done it before and the

grip gets tighter.

And just before we move to the practice, here's why. When you think a thought just a few seconds

your body responds and emotion arises. Maybe a tightness of the chest and not in your stomach, a

heaviness behind your eyes. That's

not just in your head that's a real physical pathway and it's been formed every time. It's chemistry,

it's biology. It's what the body does.

Trying to force it away is like trying to unring a bell.

So if letting go doesn't quite work, what does?

Acceptance.

And here's the difference. Letting go says, get rid of this.

Acceptance says, this is here. I see you. You can stay.

It sounds counterintuitive. Why would you invite an uncomfortable thing to stay?

Remember the moment you stopped fighting it? Something remarkable happens. The tension around it begins to soften.

Not

because you forced it, but because you stopped adding fuel to it.

The struggle was the fuel. Take

that away and what's left? Just what is. And

let me show you what I mean. So bring your attention back to your breath.

Breathing in calm, breathing out relax.

Allow your body to relax because by now your shoulders are probably tensed a little.

We don't need to put much effort into this. We just allow this moment to be.

And now generally I'd like you to bring back that same thought you had for a moment ago. The

niggling thing. The worry or frustration and

Let it come. Don't chase it. Just let it arrive.

Like someone knocking on your door, I guess.

And now notice what happens in your body.

Where do you feel it?

Is there a tightness somewhere, a warp a heaviness?

Maybe it's in your chest, maybe your jaw.

Maybe there's a tightening somewhere in your jaw or your shoulders.

Don't judge it. Don't try to change it.

Just notice.

Now, instead of trying to push this feeling away and adding more tension to it, I want you to just

do something different.

I want you to turn towards it.

Just generally.

Like you turn towards a friend who's upset.

Not to fix them, but just to sit with them. And

say quietly in your mind, I see you.

You're here.

And that's okay.

Notice what happens. You might feel the sensation shift slightly. It might soften. It might move.

It might stay exactly where it is. All of that is fine.

You're not trying to change it. You're just being with it.

Now let's try the other approach again.

Just briefly so you can feel the contrast.

Take that same feeling and try to push it away.

Clench against it. Tell yourself, I don't want this. Go

away. I'm letting go of you.

Can you feel that? Feel how your body tenses up. Feel how the struggle creates its own kind of

its own power and its own strength.

The tightness isn't coming from the original thought. It's coming from the resistance. From

that little tug of war that you've declared in your own experience.

It's like you're the one pulling both ends.

Now let that effort go. Stop pushing. And come back to the open approach.

Soften your jaw. Soften your shoulders. Let

your hands relax. And

say again quietly, this

is here. I

see you. And that's okay.

Now imagine your hands in your mind's eye.

And that just means imagining you seeing your hands in your head. And

see them clenched up

into tight fists.

That's what the forcing feels like.

All that energy spent gripping, holding, and pushing. And

now slowly see those fists open. Those hands open finger by finger. Until the palms are

facing upward, open and soft. Not

throwing anything away. Not clenching anymore.

And this is acceptance. It's not giving up. It's not saying the situation is fine or that your feelings

don't matter. It's simply choosing in this moment to stop adding struggle to whatever's here. And

in that choice, something loosens. Something breathes. Something frees up.

Now let the thought drift into the background. You

don't need to push it just You don't need to hold it either you

let your attention gently return to your body. To

the weight of you sitting or lying here. To

your breath to Moving in and moving out of his own space

you feel your hands again your real hands wherever they are notice that they've softened during this practice

you may notice if there's a little more ease in your fingers or

your forearms

And notice your chest or your belly. Is there a little more space than

when you started?

Even just a fraction.

The space wasn't created by force, it was just an opening to this moment, an acceptance.

And let's rest together for a moment in this stillness, in this acceptance. There's

nothing to fix, nothing to force, nothing to let go of.

I will keep an eye on the time.

There is just this, you, breathing, being here.

And as I come back from five, we'll

just come back to the room. So five, four, just gently shake out your arms, wiggle your fingers. Three,

just gently open your eyes. Two, look around. And one, just take a little deeper breath and feel like

you're really present back here now.

So you'll notice the difference between trying to let something go, trying to force it and just allowing it to

be what it is. And it takes less control over your body. It takes less control over you. It takes

a lot less effort. And eventually your body just lets it go anyway. That's

where the peace lives. Not in the prisoner way in the opening up.

Thank you for practicing with me and take care of yourself. And just a reminder that these meditations are brought

to you free by the people that donate and support me, just by donating for a coffee. Just head

over to StevenWebb.uk my other podcast, Stillness in the Storms, and many other links, and you can contact me.

And perhaps you've got an idea for a meditation yourself. Take care and thank you

StevenWebb.uk Bye for now.