In Episode 5 of Journey Through the Song, Sam and Debbie take listeners into one of the most intimate scenes in the Song of Solomon as the newly married couple enters the bridal chamber. What unfolds is a beautiful picture of how love deepens through affirmation, tenderness, and trust. This episode explores God’s design for intimacy in marriage—showing that physical closeness grows out of emotional connection, loving words, and a secure relationship. Along the way, Sam and Debbie highlight the wisdom of God’s timing and the sacredness of intimacy within the covenant of marriage.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

RELATIONSHIP REALITIES: https://relationship-realities.captivate.fm/listen

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

We're excited to be back on our journey through the Song of Solomon.

And we've had four sessions already.

And so this is our fifth session of teaching.

And in their last session we left Solomon and his bride at the wedding feast, talking romantically to each other.

In verse 15 it appears that they've left the banquet table and they've moved to the bridal chamber, or we would call it the bedroom.

And Solomon is speaking and he says, behold, thou art fair, my love.

Behold, art fair.

Thou has dove's eyes.

And again he's talking very romantically and he tells her twice that she's very, very beautiful.

And listen guys, you can't tell your wife enough or too many times that she's beautiful, can you?

May she wants to hear it how many times?

All the time, Often.

So most women want to hear that often that they're beautiful.

And most women don't think about how fair they are, they think about how flawed they are.

And so she needs to know that you think she's beautiful.

And notice he also says she has dove's eyes.

And back in verse nine he compared it to a horse and there's comparing her to a bird and specifically a dove.

And perhaps he says a dove.

I think really maybe for two reasons.

A dove all their life has one faithful partner.

So you might be saying to her indirectly, you're going to be my faithful partner for life.

And also a dove was noted and pictured purity.

And so he is saying, honey, I'm so thankful for you that you are a virgin and that you are pure.

So this is a real compliment.

When he looks over at her, they're in the bridal chamber.

It's the beginning of a very intimate scene.

And so he's complimenting her.

And then in verse 16 and 17 she responds and says, behold, thou art fair, my beloved fair.

They're being good looking, probably handsome and yay pleasant.

Also our bed is green, the beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters are fur.

Now it's interesting that she's looking around and she's noticing their bedroom as they're in the bridal chamber.

And she mentions the bed.

She says our bed is green and the bed is what they brought her to the palace own in the wedding procession.

And then they put it in the bridal chamber.

So it was designed to carry her, and it was very, very luxurious.

And as she looks around, she's reminded of Lebanon, and she's reminded of her homeland, because she knows in her homeland they have these huge fir trees.

And she looks around and says, wow, you have brought some lumber from home, and you have made our bridal chamber out of this lumber to make me feel at home.

And so she's taken notice of this.

Now, the ancients, back in that day and time, their bridal chamber again, we would call it the bedroom.

It was an incredibly special place, okay?

And it had a lot of emphasis on scents.

And they would line the walls with beautiful linen and all kind of satin curtains.

They would dust the sheets with Senate powders.

And they would anoint their bodies with oils, and they would burn incense.

So when you walked into the bedroom, it kind of make you feel like you entered your own little paradise where you could escape all the pressures of the world and all the pressures of the day, and you could relax and you could take time to really delight in each other's husband and wife.

And that's what they're doing in this bridal chamber on their wedding night.

You know, I remember the first time that Sam pointed these truths out to me.

You see, at our house, I used to make sure that I kept the family room straight in case we had company.

But we had this large family, and so that meant continually I was doing laundry, but I never had time to fold it.

So I would stash all the laundry on my bed.

And I had this other.

We had a business together.

There was a lot of paperwork, and I would stash all the Melanoff paperwork over on the dresser, get it out of the way so nobody could see it in case they decided to stop by.

Then Sam comes home, and he starts reading to me and teaching me about how bedrooms ought to be like a haven, just a retreat.

And he said, look, I want you to pick out some paint, and we're gonna fix this bedroom up.

So, hey, we did.

We had the best time making it special.

I think we got a few new pillows.

We just made it into our own special place.

And.

And now this.

This has been important to me ever since.

So we've lived in several different houses, and we've always tried to make the bedroom the most important room in our house because it's ours.

It's where we connect, and.

And we want it.

We want to be able to walk in there and be at peace and.

And know it's our special place.

Place.

And I can give you a few suggestions too, like candles.

Candles are amazing.

Just for giving atmosphere to a room.

Flowers.

Candles.

Yeah, Sam likes candles.

Flowers.

I mean, you might need a few new curtains or bedspread or something like that.

I'll tell you something else too.

It's bubble baths.

Normally, master baths connect to your bedroom.

If you just take a bubble bath, it makes the whole area just smell inviting.

So just a few things you can do.

But atmosphere is a huge part of communication, especially romantic communication.

So your bedroom should be the most inviting room in your home.

Just a special place for romance and connection.

And I noticed something else that Shulamite did.

Her husband had gone to a lot of trouble.

He had been really thoughtful.

He built that chamber especially for her.

He wanted her just to know how much he loved her.

So he brought all that lumber in from Lebanon.

That took a lot of effort.

But she immediately acknowledged his efforts.

I mean, she looked around, she expressed pleasure and amazement at what he had done for her.

So acknowledging your mate's efforts.

Yeah, that stirs up the romance too, you know.

And as you share that, I can't help but think back to.

Part of making the bedroom special was you want me to paint the walls lavender.

And boy did air force boys give us.

Give me grief about that.

Oh, dad, you're in a sissy bedroom, aren't you?

Hey, but it was their room.

It was romantic.

It's what Debbie wanted and what I wanted.

And it.

It made it very, very special.

We're taking a bit of time to mention this because this is important.

This is your special time to get away from the world and to retreat and enjoy each other.

Now, the scene is in the bridal chambers in the bedroom.

It's a very intimate scene and it's continuous zone.

But let me remind.

Stop and remind you.

This is between a husband and wife.

They are married.

And this is so important that God is allowing us to peek into their bedroom.

So this is a very intimate scene as we continue.

Remember that, okay?

She speaks first as.

As we look at the passage.

Is this verse one, chapter two.

And she says, I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.

Now, the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys, they were these beautiful.

But they were very common meadow flowers there in Palestine.

It was like she was saying, you know, I'm nothing but a daffodil because she's in the palace and she's still concerned about all of these elegant, dignified ladies.

They're gorgeous.

They're beautiful.

And she's looking at herself and saying, I'm ordinary.

And, you know, in our culture today, looks are.

The emphasis on looks is astronomical.

It's just extraordinary, really.

Yeah, Good work.

Idolatrous.

And most females feel totally inadequate and they fret all the time about not looking good enough.

They're worried about it, you know, and

it's interesting how that Solomon responds to her.

She's very insecure, not feeling good about herself.

So what does he say?

He says, as the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.

You know, he's saying, listen, you're like a lily among a bunch of thorns.

All the other women look like thorns compared to you.

Because she kind of feels like she left home and.

And she landed on Gilligan's Island.

If you remember that show.

If you ever watch Gilligan's island.

And she feels like every.

All the other ladies are ginger and she's Marianne.

That's right.

You know, she doesn't feel like she's very, very beautiful.

So he turns her insecurity into letting her know that she is the most beautiful to him.

And guys, this is important to your wife because again, usually they don't think about how fair they are.

They think about how flawed they are.

And you need to convince your wife that she is beautiful.

Hey, you married her.

And listen, let me just remind you that your wife is your standard of beauty.

You should never, ever compare your wife to other women because she is beautiful.

You know why?

Because she's your wife.

She is your standard of beauty.

But notice the progression of communication here.

It's a very intimate, loving and warm discussion that increases in passion.

And God wants us to see that his plan for physical intimacy begins with praise and kind words.

And it's important to remember that God didn't make sex the foundation of a relationship, but rather it's a culmination of the rest of the relationship is not designed to be the start.

I like what C.J.

mahaney says.

He says in order for your romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you ever touch her body.

And you know, Solomon had already done that because he had talked her earlier in the day at the.

At the wedding feast and everything.

He's continually complimenting her.

And guys, remember, it's going to be hard for your wife to.

Very difficult for them to give her their selves to you if they don't feel secure in your love.

I love what Dr. Ed Weed says about this.

And I love this quote.

He says the Husband.

You girls will like this too.

Right?

Right, Right.

Right.

The husband has been compared to a warm coat he wraps around his wife.

As long as she feels encircled and surrounded by his love, she can give herself completely to him.

As long as she feels encircled and surrounded by his love, she can give herself completely to him.

And that's the picture that's being painted.

Here he is surrounding her, wrapping her in love.

And so she responds to him.

And he's just said, you're a.

You're a lily, all right, but you're a lily in the middle of thorns.

And so she goes, okay, you.

The apple tree among the trees of the woods.

So is my beloved among the suns.

I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Now what she's doing is she is taking this conversation to a total different level.

And you see in Palestine, the apple tree, this is a symbol, a frequent symbol that they used for sexual love.

So what she's really saying is, yep, you're an apple tree.

Among all the ordinary trees in the forest.

You stand out, you sexy dude, you.

That's what she's saying.

And the progression that we can look at it here, we can see that it's advancing also, not just the conversation, because she says, I sat down under his shadow, and that means he must be over top of her.

They must be reclining.

He must be over top of her.

And she says, his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Hey, she is enjoying kissing him.

So you see how this.

This conversation is getting to be more than just words, more and more intimate, right?

It is.

They're advancing.

It's a progression.

And she's enjoying kissing and the gentle touching.

But then she.

She lets him know why this is so special to her.

She says in verse four, he brought me to the banqueting house.

His banner over me was love.

And Sam mentioned this earlier, that she's telling him she's reinforcing to him.

When we were back at the wedding feast, all those things you said to me, the way that you made me feel, the way you gave me your attention, that gave me security.

It was like a banner, like a covering over me.

It was my identity.

That's who I am.

I'm not that daffodil.

Hey, I am yours.

And so this gave me security, so much security that now she is liberated to show him love.

And it's all because of the way he treated her.

Then she continues in verse five, and she says, stay me with flagons.

That's raisin cakes, comfort Me with apples for I am sick of love.

Now, raisin cakes were thought to stimulate a desire for sex, kind of like an aphrodisiac.

We've already said apples are a symbol for sexual pleasure.

So what she's saying is, the things that you're doing, being here with you, they are stimulating me.

I want more.

Feed me more raisin cakes.

Feed me more apples.

So, couples, you need a little code language sometimes.

If you're home and you want to get a message, maybe wives to your husbands, but you don't want the kids to understand what you're saying.

You can just tell them, you know, sure would like to have some apples and raisins tonight.

And he'll get the message, and they'll be clueless about what you're talking about.

But what you want to notice here is the passion is building.

And she's asking him to continue to do what he's doing.

And she says, look, I'm faint with desire for you.

I'm sick of love.

Faint with desire.

And then she continues.

His left hand.

This is verse six.

His left hand is under my head.

His right hand does embrace me.

So obviously he's got his arms wrapped around her, probably holding her head up with his hand so he can gaze into her eyes.

And then.

You're throwing me off.

So he can gaze into her eyes.

And he's embracing her, very gently, touching her.

But the word there, embrace, has a sexual connotation to it, meaning he is fondling her, he is stroking her.

It has a lot of sexual content here, but you can see they're advancing.

They're going from the kissing and the soft touch to more passionate kissing and fondling.

And then in verse seven, all of a sudden, now, remember, this is a song all of a sudden, she says, I charge you all, you daughters of Jerusalem, by the rose and by the hinds of the field, that you stir not up nor awake my love, till he please.

You think, what an odd break.

But what's happening is she understands the significance of this, of this moment.

And she wants her friends, the daughters of Jerusalem, to understand this.

So she says, look, girlfriends, I'm begging you that you listen.

And remember, when she speaks to the chorus, it's like a bit of advice.

And this is significant because the message is not just from her to her girlfriends.

It is from God Almighty to all singles, even that are out there.

And she's saying, I'm warning you, this is amazing.

And she refers to the does and the hinds of the field.

And these were these Little graceful deer like creatures, but they were known for their sexual playfulness.

And she says, I warn you, for the sake of passionate sexual love, that you stir not up.

And what she's referring to is the progression we've been talking about.

She's saying, don't get involved in all of this stimulation until it's the right time for love.

That's your wedding night.

And she pauses to tell her friends, not really, but remember, it's a song and they're an imaginary.

But she wants the world to know, and she.

And God wants us to know, no, you don't want to get involved in this.

It is worth waiting for.

He's not keeping us from sexual pleasure.

He's saving us for the.

For the moment where we can enjoy it the most.

You know, and every time we go through this, I'm just amazed that God has put this in Scripture.

And this is so, so important to God that he wants us as husband and wife to understand this sexual progression.

And it's also so important to God that he wants us to understand this is sacred between a husband and wife.

In fact, you'll see this warning pop up several more times as we go through the song.

So take note of that.

But the Bible, really, you go back to stir up love.

The Bible has a lot to say about that.

And I think of First Thessalonians, chapter 4 and verse 3, where God said, for this is the will of God, even your sanctification or your holiness, that you should abstain from fornication or from sexual sin.

And Paul is instructing singles.

He says, stay away from sexual sin.

Don't even stir it up.

He goes on to say in verse four that every one of you should know how to possess.

And that word possess means to master your vessel or your body.

You need to know how to control your body and holiness and honor, not in the less of concupience.

Even as the Gentiles, which know not God, we're not to be like the world.

We're not to stir up this sexual progression like the world would unless we are married, unless we're in the marriage covenant.

And so this is from God and very important to God.

And as a Christian, we should know how to learn, learn and know how to control our body and behave in holiness and honor, because we're different than unbelievers.

It goes on to say in verse 6 and 7 that no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter.

Now that the context of this is sexual sexuality and sexual purity.

And the word Defraud there is very interesting, because when I read that, it's.

It pops out to me.

It's a similar message that's given in First Corinthians, chapter 7 and verse 5, where it's talking to a husband and wife and saying that they are not to defraud each other sexually.

That is, they're not to withhold sex from each other, but they're to make sex a habit in their marriage relationship.

But someone who's not married is not in a position to fulfill the sexual compassion that's being stirred up, okay?

And so God has called us in our sexuality to be holy and not to stir up or defraud your brother or sister sexually where that you get them in this progression.

And you can't fulfill the progression because you're not married to them.

So this is so, so important.

And God emphasizes this again, multiple times in the song.

There is so much in the song going back to the Song of Solomon.

And God's pointing out also that this progression, step by step or moving through a progression is his plan.

Because, see, that's how a female body is designed.

He designed her to need a progression in order to prepare her body for climax, for total enjoyment.

And I want to remind you of the progression again, you don't get involved in it when you're single, but it is very important if you're married.

And they started at the beginning of the day with praise, with sincere comments, with.

With communication back and forth that was loving and kind.

And then it advanced into sexual praise, and then gentle kisses, soft touch, kept getting deeper and deeper into passionate kissing and fondling.

And then eventually, actually chapter four, they move into the actual physical act of love.

But some form of this progression, not exactly the way this couple did it, maybe, but it's necessary for a female body to be prepared, to get herself prepared.

However, the progression, the need of the progression, it's gonna vary female to female, so you can't go buy a book.

It's gonna vary female to female.

It's gonna vary cycle to cycle in a woman's life and even season to season, you know, at different ages, different things going on in your life, all of the progression will vary, but you'll always have a need for it.

Order that your body can be prepared, you know?

And, guys, I just want to give you some advice one more time before we kind of leave this part of this teaching.

And that is to make sure you touch the heart of your wife before you ever touch her body.

Wrap her in warm, loving communication and Praise and prepare her.

We'll talk more about this as we continue.

But you know, let me just also say our marriage counseling deals with sexual problems, reveals that several of these problems result when this progression is stirred up.

Doing dating, or when many couples, young couples, date.

And most of the time we might say, number one, if the couple is repeatedly starting this progression, they eventually may lose control.

I mean, cause we weren't, hey, God didn't make us to stop.

He made us to go all the way, okay?

So God intended that we not get involved in the progression unless we do go all the way.

And if you do lose control and you're not married, it could result in guilt, unwed pregnancy, it could result in date raped, rape.

It can result in all these things.

And another thing, if a couple is in the habit of starting progression but stopping before going all the way, it really trains a female body to build excitement and then just what, Cut it off, shut it down?

You train the female body just to sexually shut down before climax?

Yeah, female bodies were not designed to interrupt this progression.

It's supposed to be just a flow of passion that builds and builds and

builds, you know, and let me say also, if as a guy and you enter this progression and you view steps one through four, all these other, we gave like five steps.

You view the first four steps as for dating and you say, well, I didn't go all the way.

Then when you get married, a lot of times guys skip the first four steps and go straight to the sexual act.

And when you do that, the woman's body has had no chance to build up the passion that she needs to orgasm or climax.

She feels cheated, she feels abused.

She feels like she's just a sexual object that the husband's using for his gratification.

So when we don't do things God's way, it creates a lot of problems.

So it's important that we approach sexual.

We do things in God's way.

That's best.

And you might be listening to this right now and thinking, yeah, now, now you're talking about me.

You see, I'm not that pure bride with the dove's eyes.

That's not me.

My past is scarred.

It's dirty.

I blew it.

But I want to remind you that our Savior is a redeemer.

He redeems us from our sins.

He forgives us, he cleanses us.

And what I love is he gives us fresh starts.

And so what we want to assure you of, and we want to bring you hope.

If you need help with this, if there's a lot of baggage in your past that is messing up your present right now.

If you're missing what God has for you, email us and we can recommend a lot of very helpful resources.

And we say this and share this with you because we know that about 80% of singles by the time they're 20 years old have been involved in premarital sex.

And so you can carry a lot of baggage along with you into your marriage relationship that can really hinder you from having the fulfillment sexually that God intends for you to have.

Now, guys, let me just stop here and say too, and give you a little bit of a warning again, against pornography, because so many guys are into pornography, so many men are into pornography.

And a lot of times it starts at a very young age, unfortunately, even at the age of 12, 13, 14 years old.

And they continue in this trend, this addiction of pornography, even into their marriage, thinking, well, when I get married, I can have sex with my wife and it'll stop then.

But it doesn't.

And we've seen pornography really destroy so many marriages.

So if that's you, then get help and again, email us and we can suggest some resources and help you to defeat and overcome this addiction in your life.

God wants you to be free to enjoy each other as a husband and wife and to be free as a single if you've already been involved in sexual sin.

But we can look at this session today, the truths that God brought us, and we can be so grateful for this practical instruction that comes straight from a God who designed us in a way that we can become intimate with each other.

It's.

Oh, it's.

It's blessed that he did this for us.

But at the same time, we can also express wonder at the profound analogy that the whole Song of Solomon represents.

You know, the beauty of this passionate relationship represents the deep love and the thoughtfulness of the ultimate bridegroom.

Perfect bridegroom.

He's preparing a place for us.

I mean, Solomon prepared that bridal chamber, but.

But our Savior, our bridegroom is preparing a place for us beyond our imagination that is full of peace and, and a deep connection with Him.

And he always, always has our best interest at heart.

He wants us to feel totally secure, and we are totally secure in the relationship with Him.

We should be able to freely give ourselves to him because he's liberated us to do that.

And he wants us to join him in a communion of worship.

That's what all of this represents.

Yeah, it really is a beautiful, beautiful picture of the relationship that God desires to have with us, us being the bride of Christ and a picture of the intimacy that God desires for us to have in that loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

I think about us, Deb, being married 43 years and how our love, you think after 10 years or 20 years or 25 years, you think, wow, this is so wonderful.

And our love grows more and more and you think, how could it get any deeper?

How could it be any better?

But at 43 years, we see and know how to love each other and are more intimate in our relationship than we ever have been before.

And I think about that even as a child of God, as being the bride of Christ and how that we think, wow, what a relationship with Christ and how intimate that relationship is.

But listen, God wants us to keep growing in that intimacy.

He wants us to keep worshiping him and have communion with with him.

This has been fun to share this with you today.

This is a beautiful teaching here.

I'm so glad God put this in the Word of God.

Next time, in the next session, Deb is going to be a transition.

You remember we stopped with a warning where the Shulamite is talking to the chorus and that signals many times a transition to another scene.

So we're transitioning to another scene earlier before they get married in their courtship.

And.

And there's some wonderful things to see from that courtship scene that we want to share with you and look forward to sharing with you in the next session.

So I pray that you have a great week and we pray God's blessings upon you and your marriage, your family.

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